justification

I suppose in the most literal sense, it is means to and end in that you have to show a reason for an action...why a certain thing was done or not. It implies a certain amount of authority to the person or persons making the decision about whether or not justification is met. There are guidelines put out for decision making in all areas of life including marriage,family and the workplace. The problem comes when the person making that determination is very rigid and or controlling and is unable to see the wide assortment of gray areas in life. Authority in these hands can be a dangerous thing whether you're a parent or a sawmill worker or just somebody who happens to be at the wrong place and wrong time when there's a dickhead in charge like a badass cop/teacher/etc. I've been in all of those situations and more and find this type of personality drives me up the freakin' wall for multiple reasons, most of which has to do with their lack of empathy or ability to get out of the box. Rules are made to be bent on occasion and learning and growth usually occur when they are. The ability to see the big picture rather than focusing on what's wrong is the mark of a good leader or parent. It is also a skill that is extremely hard to find middle ground with. Enough of that. I'm tired of justifying myself to anybody and I'm the only one who can stop it. That being said, I believe that if I do my best and that's not enough, I probably should reassess the situation. In my mind and heart, I try to do the right thing in every situation. As "they" say, when it rains it pours and sometimes you just can't win for losing. Oh, and tomorrow is another day chirps Pollyanna Poops!

I find myself longing for silence and meaningful conversation when I feel like this. It is a letting go of sorts, a lesson in hitting bottom and starting the climb back up. I've lived long enough to know that you never get "there" so it's important to enjoy the trip. More and more I'm moving toward solitude as comfort and sometimes it's hard to come by with a whole 'nother family in the house. It is what it is and I love the company, it's just not the norm for us and tends to be a bit overwhelming at times. It was my choice and one that I felt compelled to make because of a strangely spiritual commitment. No words, just a feeling. You never know what lies around the next corner, ya' know?

Nurse Jackie is really getting deep and it's both entertaining and disturbing. A friend and I were discussing the prescription drug epidemic and how physicians and big pharm are responsible for what is a huge ass problem on the streets of everyday life. Well, that plus meth. I kind of think of meth in the same light as distilled whiskey during prohibition and illegal abortions prior to RoevWade. The demand never goes away, no matter how many laws you pass so it's a losing battle. What is necessary is to pick your battles (here's the key phrase) with an eye toward the middle ground. Unfortunately most of the conservatives in this country are giving a bad name to their party by claiming it's their way or the highway. I do not believe in "entitlements" or reparation. I believe in doing what is right in an economy that is sucking the life out of even the most reasonably paid in our middle class. Those of us who had a chance back in the 80s and 90s are stuck with a declining quality of life and spending power.

I have had the distinct pleasure of working with a financial professional over the past few months who really knows the meaning of customer service. To a workhorse like me, that means the world. I noticed a FB friend today ranting about how some nitwit at Lowe's failed to help him with a request only to be passed onto three other associates who were eager to please. What workers don't understand is that companies have HOTLINES where they can call you by the name on your tag and either say "atta'boy" or "you suck." If there's no number, they'll fire off an email or letter to the CEO in a heartbeat. Some are justified and that's why the process is in place. In the workplace every person you come in contact with as a team member should ideally strive to serve the customer in the best way possible to ensure satisfaction. In reality, it rarely happens.

The longer I live the more I realize the value of true friendship and how rare it is. It involves trust and thoughtfulness and being upfront without coming across as mean. I've had many acquaintances but could probably count ten people who really take my well being and happiness to heart. I wish all ten of them were here right now for a group hug.

Faith ^j^