Wednesday, January 15, 2014

tweakin' meds

I told BG the next time I decided there was non $$ for crazy meds to insist that I get my old ass out to some street corner and do what must be done to come up with the money. I was without TWO antidepressants that I've been on for years for the entire four days we had no water. No wonder I was a raving lunatic by the weekend! Here is the reality of my situation. I enter into the eve of a payday with a full half of my earnings gone from borrowing to keep the boat floatin' which includes some pretty pricey options like PD and title lenders with outrageous interest rates. I'm smart enough to know that those are not viable options for the long term and I am mad as hell patiently waiting for the US government to return my tax dollars which will be late this year because the asshats shut the whole shooting match down. Two weeks late, as a matter of fact. Be sure and thank your Republican congressmen and women for that and a lot of other cuts that are beginning to be felt mightily. Booger's mama is a prime example of how non-violent drug offenses can be used to fund the local court system and law enforcement and make it hard for someone to raise a family even if they try really hard working part-time for minimum wage which did NOT go up from 7.35 in TN. In premise, I agree with the logic of the particular program that she and BG are a part of which makes it an ongoing recovery and not just a detox. That way when life starts playing hardball with you, you've got tools to prevent relapse. It's a community in many ways that is open to everyone who needs to work some steps or just talk. I always say "If the step fits..."

Work was busy again so I was sort of stunned when I answered a call from the Shelby county area code and my long lost dear friend Paula was on the other end. I knew the voice and her face came to me soon after. We did a quick FB exchange and promised to catch up later. She, as a nurse and me the lab tech served a whole lot of cancer patients in our day and I will never forget the people I've met along the way. I stopped by the gas station on the way home and the lady who asked me to take off the hoodie the other night was standing there obviously not remembering me. I was so tempted to tell her how wildly popular that story was...cuz I'm just mischievous like that. When my friend Sue saw the picture she was like "Really, girl?" She always has makeup on and nice hair while I'm the slovenly one who won't take the time and then wonders why I'm all single and morose. Bah!

For a brief moment this morning I thought to myself "Self, you can do without internet for a bit." I was due to be turned off today if payment wasn't made yesterday (all 42 bucks of it) and I lost the bill so I spent 30 minutes on the phone with my customer service professionals this morning who couldn't find my account with my name, SSN and address because I didn't have the number of the line that nobody calls because it's computer only. Get my drift? They finally found me and found that I had a payment option but would have to pay the 30buck restoral of service fee because it was, after all, cut off. Fine month. I'll deal with it then. I talked to BG shortly after and she assured me the service never went away because she was busy filling out job apps. Hmmm. Anyway, too many things like career options and entertainment for a network deprived bunch are on the table to let that one go. I don't miss cable a bit. Web access is a whole 'nother matter.

I went through a couple of years there where the weight just sort of fell off of my formerly chubby frame and people started to think I looked "sick." I never really tried and only ate and drank what I really wanted and enjoyed. My tastes have changed since I quit deep frying everything like we southerners tend to do, and when I eat something like that I can tell my body doesn't like it. So I listen...and I do much better as a grazer having a bite of protein here and something sweet there with a few crackers and a beer. Or five. It depends on what day it is, you know.

For the first time in a month my shoulder doesn't ache all day and all night and that's a blessing just to have some downtime from constant pain. The "bitch" as I call that knot in my right shoulder blade is working against whatever I managed to do with the fall and I think she's about to win. We shall see.

Y'all be careful out there ^j^

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