medicare eve

As of tomorrow I will be be covered by Medicare parts A and B plus a supplement that includes drug coverage.  There will still be costs involved like co-pays and a small deductible but nothing like the nightmare I've been living this year with the marketplace.  My SS check will be less to cover this privilege so I am still paying a premium.  It's time to start making appointments and lining things up healthwise.  I spent the morning delivering my friend Mamye for an upper and lower scope which thankfully were negative.  Now they have to figure out why she has chronic anemia.  Next visit she will swallow the tiny little camera to finish up that part of the diagnostics.  It was good to see old friends at the surgery center and she was delivered to me post-op by one of my favorites, Karen Wilson.  

While she was in the OR I visited with my dear friend Yaya and left her house with a stack of stuff including a birthday batch of the famous Carney pimento cheese.  We chatted and watched her crazy cat show out.  Old friends are a treasure.  I had never seen a spider lily before this year at her house and she has several patches of them.  I will definitely be getting some.  They are like pink ladies only small and red.  

While I was out and about my client called with a few errands for tomorrow.  He likes large print crossword puzzles which are impossible to find so Amy gave me two to gift him with.  She's purging just like me.  

Y'all stay safe and hug somebody who needs it ^j^

bolo and earthquake

Welp, last night three local inmates overpowered a guard during head count at the Dyer County jail.  They climbed the razor wire and got sliced up but mysteriously had a change of clothes waiting.  Hmmm....outside help?  One was apprehended shortly after.  The other two are still at large and I'm on lockdown out here in the country.  I have a neighbor with a gun so it's all cool.  Plus I have Watson's knife.  Pepper spray is on my shopping list.  I am guilty of being a fan of the days when you could leave your doors unlocked but that is a fantasy.  Call before you come or the attack dogs will let me know when you arrive and I will totally call the law if I don't know you.

Said neighbor with gun asked if I felt the 3.7 earthquake last night.  I probably did but just thought it was another pecan limb falling off.  One by one those old ones are giving up the ghost but thankfully there are new ones planted in between.  The legacy continues.

Peace be still ^j^

 

be the bear

My little family had another chaotic visit today complete with laundry, Ninjas and some quality time individually and as a group.  I was going to spring for mexicans but didn't know what time they were coming so we had the rest of my Casey's sub.  They were out of parmesan bread dammit!  Reaves liked it plus the strawberry yogurt but didn't feel good and I could tell it.  She was ready to go home in the middle of the monsoon.  

2020 has been a helluva year for the world.  It started with me in the hospital and rehab way before COVID became a thing here.  Now it's everywhere and who knows who has what because of faulty testing and inaccurate reporting and a delayed response by you know who.  Everybody in the government who knows anything at all about science is silenced whilst we watch Melania and her green dress float across the White House lawn in front of a couple of thousand unmasked sheep.  Rand Paul complained that he was inconvenienced by the crowd outside protesting the whole shit show.  I think he is the devil himself.  Right up there with Moscow Mitch.  How ironic that they both are Kentucky folks.  Just my take on this week and the GOP in general.

I want to laugh more so that is where I focus my attention.  It works on your endorphins and shit.  I want to be held and hugged at length and be valued for who I am.  I want to tell my story which is why I blog.  Some people read it because they want to forget about reality for awhile so I tend to stray out into the nethers and into my head.  Lauren and I watched as a storm rolled in admiring the clouds and saying "just wow."  

I went to the Farmer's Market today and picked up some honey, yeast bread and honey cinnamon butter.  I was a late customer so all the produce was gone except for gourds.  Everybody was packing up and leaving so I got the last loaf of bread.  Thank you Sheryl Hopgood!

I plan to be a part of that place with the cookbook.  It will probably take me 'til next June to get that done but, so be it.  If I manage beforehand, there will be plenty of businesses to hit up.  Looking at the bright side here.  I never stop dreaming and coming up with ideas that lead nowhere.  It takes a true artist to do that.  

Please be kind and loving and generous and share your story with somebody who needs to hear it ^j^

the easy road

Show me my silver lining.  Lauren and TT introduced me to this song a couple of years ago.  We were on the way to eat mexicans with Reaves in tow.  Little bitty thang in a high chair.  Music is therapy to me.  If I'm in a certain mood the right song will jog memories and remind me of happy times.  I'm not big on country but everything else is good.  Well, I do love me some Zac Brown. And Tim and Allen 'n them.  Oh hell, you gotta' be in the redneck mood around a fire on a tailgate with coolers of beer.  

I'm a rock fan no doubt.  A true hippie in all sense of the word.  I believe in peace and love and equality and no more war. I will help a person in need in a heartbeat.  I live and love bigly, seizing the moment and praising God for how I've been blessed.  I needed to laugh out loud so I watched a few episodes of SNL with Tina Fey as Palin.  Laughed my ass off, which was the whole intent.  Laughter therapy works.

Laura was kind to us here with just enough rain for the beans.  Now it needs to dry out so the corn box can go away.  And the road can be done.  Within a month we may see finished hardwood floors at the cabin.  Every room has a different type of wood which will be refurbed beautifully.  I found an old butter press today that had been sitting in plain view decorating the kitchen.  Next step, murphy's oil.  It has a star pattern on  it.  

Be kind.  Make yo' momma proud ^j^

the calm before and after the storm

Lauren and Reaves just left and Reaves was so tired she was delerious.  They are headed back to Madison county just in time to escape Laura's coming appearance.  It is humid and a bit windy and obvious that a storms'a coming.  We are COVID free for the moment so I got hugs and kisses.  I read today that CDC guidlines are now limiting testing to symptomatic people.  Alrighty then.  Like the great orange one said, the more testing you do the more cases you have.  He has decided not to visit the area affected by the hurricane because it "wasn't that bad" and he has an important announcement to make this evening.  This whole RNC has been a shitshow of name calling and no platform whatsoever other than following the master of disaster.  I am sooooo over all this.  Come on November.  Even if he wins at least we will know what we're dealing with.  In that case, I'm headed to Canada.  

Worship by new technology is an amazing thing and I laughed my butt off at the blooper reel from our church's staff.  Mary Beth's countdowns were hilarious.  Thanks for the LOLs y'all.  I sure did need it!

Otherwise, batten down the hatches.  We are predicted to get two or three inches of rain so we shall see if the ditch cleaning helped.  If not I'll need a ride in a high vehicle.  I cannot begin to count how many times I've driven through seriously deep flash flood water at the end of the lane.  The lug nuts on my tires are permanently rusted from all that.  Country living.

Somehow Ellis has lost her collar so it's an ordeal to get her out of the house.  That means I have to buy a second replacement tag and new collar.  Plus we gotta' get those claws done.  I have scars all over from her unintentional pawing.  

Be happy and accept the grace and joy in this day.  And don't be mean.  Ever.

do stupid things, win stupid prizes

That is a direct quote from my baby brother with whom I chatted at length today.  I caught him he was driving and we had to give it up when he got to the dead zone.  I had forgotten how funny he can be with all his different impersonations.  Plus he turned me on to Joe and his podcasts.  Very funny!  Lord knows we all need to laugh.  That's why I keep watching The Office and Kristen Hampton and Some Good News.

My test was negative and Lauren is still waiting on hers.  I have to give kudos to the Dyer County Health Department for a quick response.  The logistics involved in testing that many people is something that you can't comprehend until you've been a part of it.  My swabber was pleasant and efficient and gave me a chance to catch my breath from the first nostril.  My response was "get it."  I'm sure it was a treat for her to have a big girl in line.

Here's my question as a lab tech.  Why are there rapid tests available for RSV and influenza but not COVID.  If I had a dime for every RSV and FLU A/B I performed in my career, I'd be in Fiji.  Or Belize.  Fifteen minutes and you have a result.  That would be a good business opportunity for the healthcare industry.  Just saying.

Some unknown number just called again so I reckon somebody wants to defraud me of my SSN.  Sorry dude.  You will NOT steal my joy.  Peace and grace to you and mama'n'them ^j^

aqua therapy

They say that exercising in the water is good for your joints so I headed over to the garden of eden that is my friends' pool to give the knee a workout.  I took it easy because I didn't want to slip and fall but I tell you that jet on the knee was exquisite.  After that I just floated and became one with the universe.  I seriously want a bottle tree like they have so if anybody wants to give me an expensive birthday present, that's the thing.  I used to put buttercups in those cobalt blue Bud Light bottles and it was beautiful to behold in my kitchen window.  

Lauren and I are both waiting for COVID test results which, as we know, takes time.  LabCorp is so backed up it takes up to two weeks.  By then, you're probably over it so what's the point?  Ours should both be back within a day or two.  It seems that the more transparent you are with public health officials the more complicated things are, like contact tracing.  If you are named as a contact the health department asks for contacts, yada yada.  Here's the catch....they will tell you to quarantine longer even if you have a negative test.  This affects people's jobs and paychecks.  Now I'm a scientist and all but I see this whole thing is like a hamster running the wheel.  

Ironically I got a DNCC mailing today with a picture of Pelosi facing off a bunch of angry men and asking for a donation.  There's no telling how much that costs.  I say save the money and don't do the mailings.  Most everybody already has their mind made up so there you go.  I received multiple mailings from a local candidate who obviously didn't know I'm not "one of them" because they kept on coming.  The money for that kind of crap is provided by rich donors on both sides.  What I think is genius is the lady who had a 10K budget and beat her competitors by targeting non-voters.  You gotta get them out to vote for sure and that's where you focus your demographic strategy.  

I transplanted a hosta from Mozella's yard sometime in the spring and it just sat there all summer.  Today I noticed the late bloomer showing out.  It reminded me not to ever give up.

Y'all be happy and well.  Please be nice to others and get your head outta' your ass to meet people where they are.  We are all God's children ^j^

drive by

I went and had my nasal cavities poked with a giant swab this morning because I have been potentially exposed.  Nobody knows until all the test results come back.  Lauren and I should find out at about the same time.  She and Reaves stopped by for a socially distanced meeting in the driveway today and it took all I had not to touch them.  Reaves actually wanted a hug but we settled on a air kiss through the window.  She had a new toy in the backseat but didn't really look like she felt good.  It was hot as hell so we cut it short.  

My knee feels better so I picked up a bunch of limbs and drug them over to the firepile.  Watered the garden and whatnot.  Took out the garbage.  It's what us single girls do to survive.  It has been a long time since I had a man to help out other than the ones who volunteer because they love me.  For that, I am thankful.  

Oh and Melania?  Don't get me started.  To cut down all the former presidential plantings of trees and replace them with concrete walkways makes me sick.  Plant some hope bitch.  You are gonna need it.  See Be Best.

I live in a state where there is a Trumpster in charge and his latest move was to remove voting rights from protestors.  Thanks Governor Lee.  You have shown us your true colors.

I'm working on a supper to die for.  Details later.  Y'all be strong and keep the faith ^j^

there but for the grace of god go i

I had places to go this morning and the first one was to Yaya's house to pick up plastic bags and some healthy supplements.  I was headed on 78 south when I ran into a horrific wreck which had obviously just happened because there was a huge Lexus SUV blocking the road, with windshield wipers going.  At a stand still, I peeked around it and was able to pass and found another totalled car with a busted windshield in the ditch and somebody all laid out in the yard next door.  The law wasn't even there yet but I passed them as I moved toward town.  Plus a ambulance.  Highway 78 is some scary shit with all the curves, hills and access roads.  

After that I went on the equally dangerous Upper Finley Road to get some stuff from my friend Rachel.  Me and her and Vicki visited at a distance because I am in quarantine so to speak.  I will wait for Lauren's result this week and then get tested again if she is positive.  She can't taste, which is a bad sign.  So, she and Reaves are on lockdown and stuck with each other for awhile.  She can't work until September 3rd,  Sounds like mother daughter bonding time ^j^

silver lining

My faithful side is seriously looking for it.  There is a lot going on that I will not discuss here but it is scary as hell.  I am asking for prayers for my little family and all the others who are suffering and in need.  I feel helpless and humble because I am unable to help.  My knee is swollen but not hot ( thank goodness ) and the pain is tolerable.  I am a week away from Medicare so that will have to wait until then.  

I picked the apples off of Daddy's little memorial tree this morning which was bittersweet.  I go there often just because it feels like home and reminds me of the good times.  There is so much uncertainty, loss and grief right now that it seems overwhelming.  I have to keep telling myself the God is in control.

Sorry to be debbie downer.  This is my voice and my therapy on this blog.  99% of the time it's positive but sometimes you just have to have a pity party and cry your way through it.  I am leaving room for the spirit to work and assured that this too shall pass ^j^

musings

"Life is difficcult."  Scott Peck started his greatest work with this simple declaration.  He goes on to explain that once we grasp that as reality, we can rise above that power.  Sure it's hard......for everybody.  There are losses and conflicts and hardships for each of us and to assume that there's a "reason" for things will drive you crazy.  It is not always God's will.  It is the circle of life and an invitation to embrace each day fully as if it were your last.  The thing I miss most about the COVID era is a good long hug, especially when you can tell that somebody is hurting and needs it.  I have been known to cheat on that which I did today when telling my good buddy Chris goodbye.

Thanks to time, a knee brace and a variety of treatments I am walking much better today.  I can walk around the house without the cane but use it to get up and down and in and out.  Baby steps y'all.  I've been there before and I'm a pretty ummmm... persistant broad.  Most everybody I know has health issues that they must deal with.  This is part of the aging process or sometimes not.  Sometimes, it just is.  Looking in the rearview I should have had a CT longggggg before that day when it was an emergency.  Part of that is on me for not insisting during my first ER visit.  I knew I needed it and was told I didn't.  I knew better and should have tap danced on that stretcher until it was done.  

The butterflies and creepy crawlies are everywhere.  I saw these scary looking stinging caterpillars on a tree in my flower bed and I knew better than to get close.  They devoured that limb and moved on.  I like the leaner look of my box garden now that all the useless stuff is pulled up.  That maybe have been what threw the knee out.  Who knows!

Y'all have a lovely weekend and remember to be nice to others.  I've been blessed plenty of times by folks who just want to help a girl out ^j^

if it ain't one thing it's five

My readers are well aware of my struggle with the marketplace and BC/BS. I was terminated and appealed that decision and won the appeal.  In the meantime I was given a new number effective Feb. 1 but that policy went away when I won the appeal.  I used that new number several times before winning the appeal so now all claims have been rejected and need to be refiled on the original number.  *sigh*  That means a lot of time on the phone to backtrack and try my best to see that everybody is paid properly.  The saga continues.

I walked at the park yesterday and last night had excruciating pain in my right knee.  As in, back to using a cane.  I went and got a proper knee brace today and picked up some glucosamine from a friend.  We shall see.  It's either a torn meniscus or bursitis I reckon.  All I know is that it hurts.  I don't know if this is related to the previous fall in April but it could be.  Ain't got no time for this y'all.  I am anticipating a colostomy reversal in the next couple of months and need to be strong which is why I've been walking.  Maybe it's the loose gravel on the lane.  Who knows.

I'm one tough cookie but this whole thing has frustrated me to no end.   It has been going on for a year since my first diverticulitis symptoms.  It was a slow downhill ride from there.  But hey....I made it and I'm alive.  That's all that matters.  

Y'all be safe and happy ^j^

man up

I am a very direct personality who skips the bullshit and goes straight to the heart of the matter.  It usually serves me well because I know where I stand and respect folks who are straightforward and honest.  I don't play games.  That being said, not everybody is like that.  Passive aggressive behavior bothers me a lot and I can spot it a mile away because ,well, I just can.  And I will definitely not let anybody steal my joy.  

The loves of my life are, and always will be, Lauren and Reaves.  I have several friends going through hard times right now and it's complicated due to COVID which, by the way, is gonna' get worse before it gets better.  Anybody with half a lick of sense can see that the first wave never stopped because of the easing of restrictions.  Little bitty Dyer county has 751 cases and 9 deaths.  I noticed that the drive through at the health department has opened back up and there was a line today when I passed by.  It is real, people.  And not wearing a mask is a very obvious show of disrespect.  And cover your nose too dammit!

I was over the summer gardening so I pulled out the big stuff and now have just herbs.  Of course there will be plenty of leaves to mulch with soon so there you go.  I've already noticed a subtle change in tree colors and leaves on the ground.  And the long shadows of course.

Happy hump day y'all.  Remember who you are and keep the faith ^j^

out of control

There is something terribly scary about being sick and in the hospital, especially these days.  I was there in an emergency situation the month before COVID hit the US.  It took me months to recover from that.  While I was there I schooled  few nurses on being quiet because I was sick.  I'm hoping that doesn't happen next go around.

Healthcare providers for the most part are caring and compassionate.  I was one of them back in the  day.  I don't regret a minute of it even though things got ugly at times.  I was the transfusion service supervisor which included, among other things, making sure we had enough blood on the shelves for any and all emergencies and there were a lot of them.  PPH and trauma and surgery and whatnot.  There is a thing called "red tag" when somebody is bleeding out and you scoop up some O neg and run it up to wherever.  Lots of doctors used that to cover their mistakes and asses.  That shit is too precious to waste if you know what I mean.  If the antibody screen is positive you have to identify it and provide antigen negative blood or else there will be a reaction which causes other problems like a positive DAT.  

Now that you're impressed with my blood bank knowledge, I will move onto other things like the upcoming Virgo fest that is my birthday...and Lauren's.  And Reaves.  They are both on the cusp of Libra but not quite there.  Once a Virgo, always a Virgo.  

I watched snippets of the debate and heard that Michelle went smooth the fuck off on Trump.  You go girl!  I'm ready to vote right damn now.  In person.

Everything gonna' be alright ^j^

spoofers

Well well. I got my first call from Medicare swindlers today saying that my number had been used by fraud in Texas.  Huh?  That number isn't even active yet.  So I called the trusty SS office about it and was told they received about 30 calls today about this issue.  Beware!  It was from a local number.  Shithead scammers.

I was up early and made a town run followed by a walk with Oscar.  Just got off the phone with the road commisioner about the tar and chip and his spreader is broke and he's headed to Memphis with it.  Lord have mercy!  We have all been worrying the crap out of him but he takes it like a champ.  I love me some country boys.  

Mayberry's crew showed up today with a newbie and that dude did mostly the blower.  As usual, I told them what not to touch like the moonvine and the nekkid ladies.  If you need your yard did real nice, call Mayberry.  They are quick and efficient.  

No big news here...just another day in paradise ^j^

because God

It has been six months since we had a worship service in the sanctuary of FUMC.  Today was different, but we knew the drill and everybody complied.  Many times I get to sneezing when wearing a mask but today was different.  I was mesmerized by the experience of being back in the same building with my homies.  I sat six feet away from a family unit and way farther back than normal but I recognized all the little family units.  As evidenced by the ongoing ministry of FUMC during the pandemic we are a tight bunch who welcomes everybody....and you're next!  We have had drive in, virtual stream and noon devotionals plus a whole lot more.  

Today was Gaga and girls day and we had big plans to swim in the big pool.  Only Reaves wasn't in that mood.  Wouldn't put her swimsuit on and we don't go nekkid because you never knows what pedophiles are lurking.  Sooooo...there was brief water hose play and laundry mixed with pizza and paint.  I actually have her footprints on the refrigerator along with the hands from last week.  She washed dishes and watered flowers with a pink can.  That's my little farmer!  We laughed...like a lot, and I treasure these times.  Making memories.  

Y'all keep it between the lines and lend a hand to somebody who needs your support.  Don't give until it hurts, just give freely with boundaries.  That's what Jesus would do ^j^

make new friends but keep the old

One is silver and the other gold.  That Girl Scout memory popped into my head as I was mulling over how blessed I am to have to many true friends.  They have come to me at various stages in life for a brief intense time and then we moved apart.  Heck, I even made a lot of new friends as a result of that bad ass surgery.  I'm ready to move on the next one and have an appointment next month for consultation.  Let's get 'er done.

I set my alarm to get to the Farmer's Market in time to catch the early bird specials.  I didn't buy anything from Tie One On today but got a minute to visit with Paige and Rob.  I had been told about a lady who makes fantastic bread, jellies and jams so I made a bee line for her as soon as my temp got checked.  I got a loaf of sour dough and some strawberry butter which are to die for.  And, made a new friend in Sheryl Hopgood.  Got some squash from some guy and stopped to admire a young girl's soap display on the way out.  Hey....I'm a cheap date and easy to amuse.  

I am determined to walk daily in spite of the loose gravel.  I have to kind of look for the smooth spots and avoid the little piles.  The dogs enjoyed it too.  It's really beautiful peaceful scenery with nice breaks of shade by the pecan trees.   I'm looking forward to the day when I can power walk.  Oddly enough just a few months ago I was on a walker.  Time, steroids and Meloxicam heal.  

And so, we go day by day seeing what unfolds.  Nothing surprises me anymore because I've been at that place where chaos reigned, mostly because of my control issues.  Just let it go, for your own sanity.  And because your mama said so ^j^

the king

I was a Memphis girl for two years.  I graduated from UTCHS in June 1977 and took a job in Dyersburg but still had a boyfriend in Memphis so I was back and forth.  I remember driving the interstate in August of that year the day Elvis died.  There was sadness in the air and an emptiness that could be felt just by being in the city.  He had a show scheduled shortly after his death and I bet at least half of those ticket holders did not cash in but kept them as keepsakes.  They're probably worth a lot of money now!

I was never a huge fan but I respected him as the legend that he was.  Somewhere amongst all this mess I have a laminated first edition Elvis stamp.  Lord only knows where it came from.  If I run across it I'll post a pic.  

I had a lovely morning full of various hugs and intelligent conversation.  When I stopped by Kroger to give the rent check one of the fuel customers had a gas leak and it was obvious.  My bro handled it like the pro he is and immediately sprayed it down after helping the guy push his car out of the way.  

It looks like rain is probable but hey....the beans need it.  The irrigation system has not been on much at all this summer because of regular rains.  That's a money saver for sure.

Y'all hug 'em like you mean it.  And keep the faith ^j^

what the what?

I had a busy day to say the least.  After visiting with a friend or two I headed up to the church for a noon devotional and got to sing together with the talented Dakota.  It's good to be in that building and soon we will be in the sanctuary again.  Things will be different, but that's okay.  It's the usual drill with touchless temp check, masks required and six feet apart.  Since I am a family of one I'll be all by my lonesome but that's okay too.  The others are only six feet away.  

I wonder if and when we will ever return to some type of normalcy.  As I ran errands for my client today doing the mask on/ mask off thing I watched the clouds gathering and it began to thunder.....Praise the Lort!  By the time I got home it was raining nicely which spares me from hooking up the redneck water hose later.  See how easy to please I am?  On one of my trips out I noticed several county work vehicles and stopped to ask when the tar and chip is coming.  He said it depends on the rain situation!  Oh well...at least it settled the dust.  I am looking forward to a smooth walk because it's a killer on that loose gravel.  

I hope you are happy and healthy and well in spirit ^j^

what goes around

Bubba and I were talking yesterday about furnishings for the cabin when it is finished.  Oddly enough, Mama's bed which we sold, came back to me whey Tracy moved and it still sits in my dining room.  It is a 3/4 antique beauty.  The legs were cut off to make it easier for her to get in and out of but that's no biggie.  We were talking about a dresser to go with it when I remembered that another buyer who got the antique dresser with a mirror told me that I could have it back if and when I moved in there.  Which probably ain't gonna' happen.  Anywho, I talked to her yesterday and explained that it will be a place for family gatherings and we're trying to re-create the original furnishings so she said yes indeed.  Come and get it!  It all seems to be coming together in an odd sort of way.

I hit up Kroger today and got what I needed for a couple of weeks.  I got a 12 pk of toilet paper and I'm taking bets on how long it will take Ellie to destroy it.  I am a cheapo shopper and will buy an "ooops" in a heartbeat.  There are certain things I must have like Lewis bread and Oscar Mayer turkey but other than that I'm a generic kind of gal.  Propel has been absent from all but convenience stores at 2 bucks a pop so I found some nice cheap Nestle mandarin orange flavor.  Must.Stay.Hydrated.

I will officially be on Medicare in two weeks or so and will then begin the process of pursuing the reconnective surgery for my ostomy.  It's been a long 8 months with my little buddy the bag.  For the most part, once we got the proper device, it has not given me problems except for an occasional leak which causes more frequent bag changes which causes skin irritation and burning.  But hey....at least I'm alive to tell it.

It's devo time so I'll see y'all on the other side ^j^

walk humbly

I know a lot of people who do really great things and though I am non-judgmental, I can usually spot somone who is truly altruistic vs the ones who do things to get attention.  If you can't do it randomly by paying forward, just don't do it.  The main example of this in my life is blog fairy.  He or she blessed me anonymously for two years when I needed it most. Others have done it as well.  And so, I try to do the next right thing.

I have been getting the blue screen of death from Windows and went to my friend's house this morning to get him to check it out.  He gets it on his too but his doesn't reboot as quickly as mine.  We looked and researched and talked with Debbie.  He is one smart man but couldn't figure this one out for either of us.  So he headed out to work in the yard and Debbie and I visited for a minute.  After that, I headed to another friend's house for bit and got a big hug.  We are polar opposites politically but manage to get past that.  I love it when that happens.

After checking the garden I quickly retreated into the house and AC.  I knew the cool spell was too good to be true but it sure was nice while it lasted.  We are dry as a bone here on the hill.  The grass ain't growing as fast as it was so there's that to be thankful for.  I'm looking forward to dead spots soon.  And paying Mayberry for his service this year!  And propane guy!

Y'all be happy and healthy.  And wear your damn mask ^j^

 

  

girls day out

I woke up with an agenda this morning that first involved a visit to the Farmer's Market.  My temp was checked and I headed straight toward my friend Paige and her tie dye creations.  I was already wearing one of her masks and bought two tshirts.  This chick is amazing.  I also passed by a small display of pottery run by someone who looked like a teenager.  Beautiful small pieces.  And then I was off to my next adventure.

Lauren and Reaves arrived and we had to discuss whether to paint or go to the "big pool" where Doonie lives.  Eventually the big pool won out and we had a ball splashing and floating.  She's a very bossy little thang and insisted on Mama doing this that and the other.  We even both jumped up and down to make a wave pool for her.  Mostly I just floated in Chucky's chair.  That thing is to die for.  

She fell asleep wrapped like a burrito in a towel on the way to my house but woke up and wanted to come back in.  We had to make an emergency stop at the 'gentral for pullups so that was a good chance to finish drying clothes and eating ice cream and a popsicle.  

Lauren and I got a chance to catch up in between and all is well.  Our bond grows ever stronger by the day.  Watching Reaves today I could barely believe that it's been almost three years since that night in September when she was born by emergency C-section.  That whole story is a nightmare best forgotten.  From all of that pain and suffering came a new life that is spunky and happy.  I pray that life never takes away that joyful spirit.  There are times for all of us that we suffer but being faithful to me, means looking for the blessings.  Reaves is one of those.

We talked about what we will do in the winter when we can't go outside and play.  I reckon we will just watch TV and make cookies or something.  My mama would love that.  

Peace and love.  And always, joy ^j^

on giving up

I was curious following the suicide of Daisy Coleman and watched the documentary on Netflix "Audrie and Daisy" this morning.  I was absolutely mesmerized by the drama and dynamics of this doc because I pretty much lived it.  I wasn't raped or anything but I put myself into a lot of precarious situations as a drunk teenager.  Fortunately God was with me during those times as He is now.  The feature highlights what can happen in small town America where everybody knows everybody and them and they can turn on you in a heartbeat.  Audrie killed herself shortly after her sexual assault.  Daisy and Paige went through see their attackers aquitted not once but twice.  It is an intimate look at proof of law and how families can be torn apart by random acts of violence.  

I have occasional bouts of depression but I have never even considered suicide as a way out.  That hurts way too many people that love me and would feel guilty for the rest of their lives.  Yet I understand those who have considered it.  Sometimes the pain is so bad that it just won't go away.  No amount of hugs or caring or anything else will help the hopeless feeling of not wanting to live.

As for me, I will live it to the natural end with gusto.  I may be getting older and have some problems but somebody always has 'em worse than me.  I am not homeless and starving.  I have tons of friends who would drop and run in a heartbeat for me.  And I have a family that I love....the girls, my brothers, my cousins.  

May you never get to the point of giving up.  Life is a precious gift not to be thrown away like an old sack.  I love you all and your mama'n'them ^j^

road rage

Dyersburg is full of four way stops, especially downtown.  I was on the way to meet a friend at the doctor's office this morning and took my turn then immediately got honked at and witnessed old girl having a fit because she thought SHE was next.  I watched to see if she followed me but she didn't care enough to hunt me down.  Some people's kids.

The masklessness continues and I just shake my head in awe that so many people don't think this shit is real.  You can't fix stupid.  I had just drifted off to sleep last night and heard something like an explosion....my eyes popped wide open.  Patrick called right after to see if I had heard it.  I just assumed it was another old pecan tree falling but there was no sign of that this morning. Who knows...earthquake maybe?

There are people on big tractors working in the ditches, clearing out vegetation I presume.  From the top of the hill down to the bottom is overgrown and probably impedes drainage.  Just my guess.  Nobody tells me anything.

Besides being "almost a nurse" I am now getting to be "almost a pharmacist" researching drugs for friends.  I watched today as a young lady expertly drew blood from my friend who is a very hard stick.  I know from experience.  

Be an advocate for somebody.  And please don't be a Karen ^j^

bird murderer

As mentioned earlier there were five little eggs in the next by my back door.  I peeked in there today to see if they had hatched and smooth dropped the nest on the back porch.  I won't describe the horror of watching my dogs eat baby bird eggs.  Ewww.  I put the nest back so maybe she will try again.  And all this time I was worried about Mr. Snake.  

I got one chore done today and got to play kissy with Stella but 

she was on her way to work.  I admire Kay for integrating therapy with grief.  Pretty cool concept.  It don't end at the funeral home or graveside.  Preservation of memories with Stella on your side must be priceless.  I'm pretty sure she'll be all up in mine.

I talked to my high school bestie and we caught up on our whirlwind lives.  Ah, to be 17 again, huh Sisa?  We are both artists in a strange sort of way.  Same with Mary Gwyn.  And all the others who get it.  

Things are quiet here and I like it that way.  The weather is nice enough to be out and about.  I made my one run to the 'gentral today to get some Propel.  I had to get a girl with a ladder to retrieve it for me.  It gets serious when I don't have that stuff.  

So I love y'all like chicken.  Keep the faith.  Go vote.  Help the less fortunate.  Take care of yourself.  Explore possibilities. Dream ^j^

lord help us all

So after throwing Dr. Fauci under the bus, Trump has now attacked Dr. Birx.  These are the main players on the original coronavirus task force and both are medical professionals.  Last time I checked, Trump is not a doctor and his childish response to everything that HE doesn't believe is hurting us all.  I live in a rural state that is currently a hot spot.  I am not amused.

It's already been a long Monday.  I spent two hours on the phone this morning trying to get things lined up for my LTD to continue and still don't have answers.  I am frustrated with ALL insurance companies at this point.  Please honor the commitments made by your companies to put the patient first.  I am running dead last at this point.  

School is back here and I know a lot of parents and educators are scared shitless.  I've talked to some teachers who think it's premature and are nervous.  And rightfully so.  These kids are showing up from all over the place without knowing who their contacts are or where they have been since March.   Scary stuff.  

If you have come here looking for happy shit, today is not it.  I long for normal, whatever that turns out to be.  I long for strong leadership in our country.  I feel betrayed by the powers that be for many reasons.  

This mood too, shall pass ^j^

memory in the making

The girls came today and we did our usual swim and lunch.  Leftover Alvino's!  It has cooled down considerably which thrills me to no end.  Lower humidity too.  I have been having odd dreams lately.  Last night it featured my good friend and former co-worker Scotty.  Where did that come from?  He and the love of his life moved away some time ago but we stay in touch.  I miss his kindness and snarky humor.  He is incredibly smart about a lot of things including cars.  Once he did a tuneup on mine in the hospital parking lot.  No shit.  They are likely to be getting ready for the storm headed up the coast.  

My little birdie friend laid another egg since I last looked.  That makes five so far.  They are all nested up right by the back door.  I have yet to see a snake, only the skins.  Now hide and watch, I'll step on one today.  

Now for what Ellie ate.  Last night she got my new loaf of hawaiian bread and a bag of MandMs.  It's good porch sitting weather so I reckon I'll head on up there to the front and watch the day go by.  I got nothing but time ^j^

and then there were four

That little bird on the back porch has been busy and now has four eggs waiting to hatch.  I can't tell what kind she is because she flies off quickly when I open the door.  It's the circle of life live and in person.

I have been dizzy headed off and on for about a month.  It comes on suddenly and I had to have help getting up the steps to a friend's house today.  We checked my BP which was "normal" but being normal sometimes makes me feel weak.  What's a girl to do?  Keep trudging!

Now that the heat has backed off I'm going to walk some more and try to get my strength back for the upcoming surgery.  I haven't even sorted out the mess from the first one so who the heck knows.  Life shouldn't be that complicated, ya know?  You're sick...you need affordable treatment and insurance that plays nice.   My experience this year with the marketplace has been a total disaster that I have yet to figure out.  

Y'all wear that mask and stay six feet apart.  Cuz the CDC said so and I do too.  This crap is real and getting worse and there is NO leadership.  The scientists on board are largely being ignored by a lot of people.  It's really ironic that prior to this year if you went into a store with a mask on you were a robber.  Now it's required.  

I'm having computer problems again so I installed a cheap utility to see if it would help.  Something is going on with windows too.  I am so not tech savvy but I do well for an old gal.

Don't worry, be happy ^j^