Thursday, December 30, 2010

another year....another dollar

Oh, do I hate thee?  Let me count the ways.  To say that this has been a challenging year for me personally is an understatement.  Not unmanageable with a little help from my friends, but definitely one of the rougher of my 55 chapters on the learning curve of life.  Anyone who knows me very well will understand the issues without explanation, and for those who don't.....I'm tired of talking about them so you'll just have to wonder.  One of my new learned behaviors this year has been to confront conflict head on with an assertive attitude aimed at getting past the drama and onto the real purpose of what said drama is all about.  That allows me, rather than sitting around re-hashing something fifty eight times when I can't change it, to spend my energy on looking around and ahead at the positive things in my life.  Like my eccentric yet totally loving family.  And my puppies :)  Good friends have been there through thick and thin for me, and for that I am grateful....humble, even.

I have lost me again...somewhere amongst all the coming and going and shopping and visiting and pill counting and working at the sawmill and....yadayada.  I miss taking pictures and writing because both bring me a sense of creating something that reflects what is inside of my soul.  My little perspective on life, if you will.  I guess I'll have to pull out the crayons and paper and draw a few pictures to remind myself.  BG has begun that journey as well, and we naturally have some of the same issues.  I feel fortunate to be a part of the process with her, because I wasn't real close to my mom when I first entered my "reflective" period.  I like to call it that rather than a nervous breakdown, like they did back in the day.  Yankee women go crazy.....Southerners have  a "nervous breakdown" or a bad case of  "the vapors."

There is something about a clean slate that is inviting to the weary traveler.  Even if it's just a change of scenery or a new pair of shoes or a different relationship.  It's all about the hope that is represented in experiencing something new or unfamiliar and thinking's not that bad after all.  As I sit here surrounded by what has been my home for many years, I realize that it was a gift from Big Ernie even though I don't own a thing.  When you've paid 100K in rent on a circa 1918 farmhouse, it's either true love or a terribly expensive habit.  Probably a little of both.

My wish for the new year is that somehow...SOMEWHERE...somebody will get a grip on this hate thing and call a truce, even if it's just for a day in their life.  Hatred toward a fellow man or woman is the devil's work in my humble Wesleyan opinion.  That doesn't mean we can't get mad, because remember what happened in the temple when Jesus got riled up at the tax collectors.  There is a time for anger when people are being treated unjustly and not being represented fairly while elected power mongers nitpick over party lines and lobbyists' perks.  Yep...I'm a rebel, even though I realize that I just put myself on the map with the secret service.

Ya'll have a wonderful happy new year.  I plan to do the same ^j^

Monday, December 27, 2010

remember who you are

I entered into a relationship with a therapist in my early thirties, a prime example of what happens to a nice southern girl who wants to be like her gracious mother but instead turns into a rebel with or without a cause.  There was still a high school sorority back in those days, and I passed on the first round as a 9th grader because I was busy being a hippie.  They asked me again after I straightened up enough to get through high school but by then I was like "Why?". I ran around with people of both sides of the social realm ranging from crazy rich to dirty poor.  Anyway, back to therapy.

I first met Lucretia in an old church and she was EIGHT months pregnant.  Seeing what a hot mess I was she quickly assured me that it was beautiful because my soul was BLOOMING, I believe she said.  I couldn't hear too well for all the sobbing.  And then she handed me over to her partner Bev.  During our first session ( after a lot more sobbing ) she gave me crayons and paper and told me to draw things that make me happy.  There were musical notes and running rivers and a rainbow.  A flower.  I wondered at that time what that had to do with the whole deal of me being slightly crazy but she explained that I had forgotten who I was in the midst of all the drama.  My daughter was four years old and I was a model employee/good girl sharing her raising with a third shift industrial worker.  I got together with friends, but they were mostly from work and we'd bitch about who said what or how this or that went down while we sat on somebody's porch and drank beer and or chased kids.  Everybody had them, and they all went with the package.  I realized then that I had let go of all of the old friends who used to make me laugh....and I had restricted myself in making new ones by spending all my time off  with co-workers.

We went on road trips together, exploring rivers and mountains and campgrounds close to home.  There was more beer involved in those trips than most people have ever seen.  Big Ernie was working overtime when we hit the river.  The betty crocker type of the bunch was Tina and she made homemade biscuits on a fire just!like!home!  She was always handy to have around :)  Our boss had kids too, to we would all pile into his huge yard in the country and play volleyball.  Everybody brought something and we'd eat and talk about.....what else?  Work.  But we got to know each others' families and raised our children together, so there is a bond that can never be broken.  We have spent weekends and holidays and midnights running those halls together, sometimes quietly....but always with urgency, doing the best for our patients.  Sometimes it sucks, but sick people depend on the ones who are paid to do a job that is rarely easy but always satisfying in some sort of way.

I saw Bev off and on for two years, traveling to Memphis for most sessions.  The 90 mile drive gave me time to think about what was on my mind before I got there, and process the brain work on the way home.  It was always random....whatever memory had surfaced or boundary issue had exposed itself.  I moved on from some pretty powerful feelings of anxiety and despair to a sense of peace and balance.  I cried almost every day for the first year.  There were no meds to stabilize me while all this angst played itself out and I kept my work/social/married/mommy self going.  I began attending an aerobic class at our church led by the chaplain's wife so I went and checked it out.  It took awhile, but I finally got in shape and knocked off the baby weight by exercising.  Weight has always been an issue in our family, coming from the Reaves branch of DNA.  To look at my little momma now at 120, you'd never know it.

About that time, my marriage began to unravel.  Raising a child while working shifts is doable but difficult.  Mostly he worked his ass off and I did too and took care of the home.  And tried to remember who I was.  The country girl who never learned to embrace the beauty, choosing instead of see it as an inconvenience.  I wouldn't take a million bucks for any of it now.  At least I learned to appreciate the beauty of it and the wonder of being given the opportunity to grow up and raise my child here.  Fifty four years is a long time to be somewhere and have to let go.  So I don't think I ever will.


Saturday, December 25, 2010

the last noel

I hear it ya'll.....the huge collective sigh all over the world that the madness which somehow sprang from a simple baby's birth in a manger in Bethlehem is almost over.  That is, as soon as the dollar store clears out their stuff at 90% off.  I got everything I could ever ask for, plus more.  A nice day at work .....Mary Engelbreit calendars....aromatherapy and neck massages. Well, not peace on earth.  But that will probably NEVER happen, but ya'll don't shoot the messenger.  As Daddy would say "It has always been thus and so."   Check the good book, chapter and verse.

In case ya'll were thinking about dropping in for a visit, don't come unless you'd like a good dose of the holiday crud.  I've had it for a month ( even AFTER a flu shot ) and my poor BG has been stricken as well.  She's camped out on Aunt Granny's couch/ aka her temporary bed, with the big TV and two heaters.  And Faith.  Her royal highness Lily is perched atop two pillows watching over the whole scene with her feline paws crossed daintily in front.  Sam is snoozing on the couch beside my desk and Oscar is somewhere getting used to his new collar and licking his wound.  Just another day in paradise.  I finally took a flashlight and actually looked at my throat today and was shocked to see all those nasty looking pockets up in there.  Guess I'll have to get another Z-pack since I gave Daddy the one I had.

God is good.  All the time ^j^


Thursday, December 23, 2010

oh holy night!

What day is it anyways?  Oh, yeah.  Christmas eve-eve.  I've got tomorrow off and work on "the day" so today is my eve.  We are breaking tradition this year and going OUT to eat which suits me just fine because I usually cook most of it and that's not a holiday when you work funny shifts.  Things were fairly slow, thank goodness....only the really really ill are left in those beds on a holiday.  One of my old friends from school and church is there and I was going down the hall to find her when I came up on a code and one very distraught family member.  I watched as one employee found her a chair, and we passed her coat over the tangle of caregivers surrounding the bed so that she could get to her cell phone to call home.  She was in good hands with a nurse dialing the number for her as I slipped into the elevator.

I found my friend, wan and fragile, sleeping quietly.  Not wanting to get her out of breath or tired,  I settled for a hug and a kiss while she admired the santas on my scrub top.  Her husband hovered close by and I could see it was time for me to go.  Wandering back downstairs, I grabbed my coat and headed to buy the only gift that I will purchase this year.  We started collecting Willow Tree angels years ago.  In many ways, they've been like the fruit of the spirit bracelets that I wrote about earlier because they're a great thing to "regift".  Of all the ones I've purchased over the years, I probably have no more than 5 because I feel that they are to be shared with others in true angel fashion.  Not long after I started blogging one of my buddies from up north actually made me a wooden puzzle out of the word, complete with colored pieces and a signature on back.  Those are the once in a lifetime treasures that beg a story to be told.  Back in those days, blogs and chatrooms were the only "social utilities"  Instant messaging if you were really bored or a teenager.

Yes, I know.  I'm rambling.  Because it's my b**g and I can ^j^

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

and a partridge in a pear tree

Here we are, speeding toward Christmas and, while there are no presents, there is lots of room for the spirit to move freely.  BG and I are spending the holidays together as roomies so that we're all closer together as a family in what will most likely be our last with my parents living in the log cabin that we call home.  I could go on and on about how sad it all makes me, but I'm choosing instead to think about possibilities and look ahead.  During the past week our collective emotional sum has just about popped off the charts in multiple categories.  It's what I like to call "hittin' the wall".  Oh, you know.  It's when all of a sudden you realize that you're fighting a war that can't be won, so you  compromise in some respect by going with the flow and transitioning.

We act as a partner with a local cancer clinic and have done so for  years.  Each and every Wednesday lots of people from West Tennessee come there rather than driving to Memphis for chemo and/or radiation.  I was in that rotation for YEARS until I couldn't take any more and had to opt out when the opportunity came up.  Some of the most beautiful yet painful relationships in my life have been forged with cancer patients and their families.  I see them in the offices and hospital and I know who's kin to who and how most of them are doing.  Today I ran into a older woman with whom I became friends during her elderly dad's treatment.  He was in his eighties and she took care of him AND her husband who had been diagnosed as well.  She was there today, gazing out into space and I caught her eye.  Her face lit up when she recognized me and we hugged and chatted about how long it had been since her daddy died.  BG's elementary school teacher was there, one of the "team" that got stuck with a very freaked out fifth grader when her mom and dad split up.  One of them actually cried when I told her.

As expected I didn't win any photography awards because...hey.  I've got a shitty room for improvement camera.  Very automatic, if you know what I mean.  Point and shoot.  There are so many times when my friend and I drive around looking at landscape and I make him stop so I can take a picture.  They never turn out as beautiful as the real deal, ya know?  If the bills work out next year, maybe I can swing a decent one.  I think it would be a very good investment :)

I hope your days are merry bright, your nights cozy and warm and your hearts full of love and peace.

Merry Christmas from the lane ^j^

Monday, December 20, 2010

the christmas puppy

A long time ago, on another Christmas, Miss Rhonda at Headlines suggested that I go to the shelter and adopt this cute little puppy that was pictured in the local paper.  I tried to raise the 40 dollar adoption fee at work, and several of my friends came through to meet the goal.  By the time I got there, the one in the paper was gone.  I wandered around peeking in cages and talking to the babies and I found this one.....THE one.  She was a tiny little brindle thing with sad eyes and a warm heart and I named her Hope.  Later on, her name got changed to Butterbean but she was still the same loving ornery little rat terrier mix.  She fell off the porch when she was a puppy and broke a leg, which we didn't discover until it had already healed. Because of that injury, she never quite ran straight with one leg flung into the breeze as she romped.  We buried her a little over a year ago in a somber funeral held under the pines lit by headlights.  It was bad ya'll.

Later on, our friend Conner brought a little stuffed pound puppy as a sympathy gift, and it became Sam's favorite toy.  Fast forward to this year, about two months ago at the beginning of pecan season.  I kept noticing this little black and white dog following the pecan man around when I came in or out.  Babygirl had seen him down the road with some people who were just sittin' in the road like it was a normal thing to do.  Dude turned out to be neighbor's cousin.  One afternoon BG noticed that he had a big chunk out of his back with an open wound.  Very clean it was done precisely and painfully.  Pretty soon he started hanging on the porch and in the yard with Faith and Sam and decided to become one of us.  We had already called and reported possible animal abuse but I contacted them again and an investigation was started.  Thus began the adoption process for Oscar, or "Ockie" as he is now known.  That was my great grandpa's name....the one who worked for KW Rogers and walked to work from Pate Street.

My sweet mama gave me the adoption fee as an early Christmas gift and it was only then that I saw the connection to pound puppies and faith for me and mine.  Sam is a Memorial Day dog, by the way.  His mom and grandpa brought him out to "play in the country" and he's been my faithful guardian ever since.  Ockie's wound is almost healed (again) and he and Sam love too play, giving the ever large and lazy Faith a chance to nap some more.  Poor girl couldn't retrieve a bird if her life depended on it.  Seriously.

I am thinking about things differently this season, obviously.  Making the commitment to not spend money that I don't have has put me in survival mode, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I just hope it's not a train!

Peace love and rock 'n roll ^j^

Sunday, December 19, 2010

a very poopie christmas

Okay, ya''s the deal.  My parents are elderly and trying to make sense of all that comes with aging.  My daughter and I are, in partnership with my brother, keeping the boat floatin', so to speak.  We are part of the home health team that gives them the opportunity to stay in our homeplace which is a red log cabin across the road from from Son Johnson's spread.  My brothers and I waded through the muddy backwater of the Forked Deer back before the corp dredged and channeled it.  It's all been good until the hundred year flood with the headwater hit.

These days, I don't pretend to have many of the answers because I am frankly bewildered about what's up in our world.  We have abused it, no doubt.  The silent pleas of my generation to "keep it green" have taken hold of our kids giving them a stubborn resolution to leave the world a better place because of the space they took up and the experiences they've had.  Generation X is our last hope to find some sort of method to the madness, and that scares the shit out of me sometimes.  But not often.  I believe that my beliefs have made a difference in the lives of a whole bunch of newbies in the adult world, and I wouldn't take a do-over if the price was 1.85 trillion in the currency of whatever bank holds the note right now.

I hope that each and every one of us experiences a miracle during this holy season because believing is what it's all about.  Not just in baby jesus and the wise guys but something that is much broader in scope...sort of like world peace.  That can only happen with an attitude of tolerance.  Last time I looked, that wasn't very common.  I guess you can blame that on the era in which I grew up because the war in Vietnam was raging and everybody was really pissed about the way our soldiers came home all geeked out over trudging through the jungle with agent orange and heroin to take the edge off.  I feel sure all their mamas missed 'em on Christmas and their birthdays.

It is exactly T-5 days and counting until Santa comes and I still haven't managed to get the house clean.  There's a tree and some decorations but that's as far as I've gotten.  Let's just call it a stress free hannakahwanza with a side of the jolly old elf and his flying reindeer.  Hug your family and the dogs.  Give everybody some sort of treat.  After's the day before the day before the winter solstice and full lunar eclipse!  That can only mean one thing, for sure.

Spring is on the way.

Friday, December 17, 2010

driving miss janice

My mama quit driving about five years ago, and that's when she lost her independence, so to speak.  From that point on she was dependent on daddy or one of us for a ride.  She had totaled three vehicles because she couldn't see oncoming traffic at the busy intersections from home to town.  A couple of years later, my daddy did the same thing in a six month old truck.  That was the end of life as they knew it.

After that we formed a little carpool thingy where we can get them to doctor's appointments and church and such.  Their friends still come all the way out here to pick them up for lunch and or chiropractic visits.  When they first got help up in the house, there were two very lively ladies that sang and even danced with Daddy.  They didn't come very often, but when they did it was an event.  My friend had just bought a restaurant up the road and he began delivering lunch to them every day because he's that kind of guy.  When the restaurant closed and the ladies quit, it was time for Plan Fay.

Fay is a friend of Aunt Bea's ( yeah, for real )  who cooked at the restaurant.  She is a warm loving soul from the old school where precious people like Mama are appreciated as the breath of fresh air that they are.  She still drives, so she can help with transportation, cleaning and meals.  In other words, she is the ONLY thing keeping them at home right now, and she's loving every minute of it.  Angel stuff.....that's Miss Fay.  BG and the critters have moved back to the lane temporarily while we all try to work through it.  The other day when Mama was so weepy, she talked about losing this farm as a place for us to call home.  I feel really blessed to have been here for 55 years, and I'm going on faith that it will be the way Big Ernie intends, without my help.

One week 'til Christmas.  Ya'll better be good ^j^

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

auld lang syne

Lord have mercy ya'll!  Is it just me or does time fly by at the speed of light??????  Or maybe just the drama filled days and nights run together somewhat.  Could be.  This has been an incredibly tough month on the home front and I can truly say that I'm  really quite ready to be done with it, Christmas and all.  Most of the jollies this season have kind of rung a sour note considering what a clusterf**k my life is right now.  Again, I'll spare the details.  Sometimes it just seems to be a bit much.  One friend told me today that Big Ernie never gives you more than you can bear.  I reckon he's got great expectations of the old Poopster 'cuz things have been piling on pretty quick and hard.  That's what I get for being a smartass like my daddy.

The one event that I distinctly remember like it was yesterday was the hundred year flood that began on Monday, May 4th.  I had worked during the heavy rains the previous weekend that moved from west to middle Tennessee with a vengeance.  Nashvegas was flooded which resulted in a big gush of headwater with nowhere to go but into the other mud filled Tennessee rivers in the northwest part of the state like the Forked Deer that surrounds our farm.  Bubba called me around 10am to give me a heads up on the rising water so babygirl and I headed to town for flood party supplies.  Our trip out was through shallow water that I've seen many times before on that stretch of Samaria Bend.  We did some errands and came back around an hour later to find the road impassable for my trusty old Camry.  About that time Clara came driving up in a county work truck with her mama  Mozella and Thelma up front and James Frank ridin' in back.  We were desperate to deliver lunch to Mama and Daddy and get on up the hill back to our safe haven. I sweat to you, that truck floated and I spoke in tongues.  Pretty soon Mr. Autry up at the cycle shop where we parked our cars called to say we needed to move 'em.  That's when we caught a ride in the back of the crackhead's pickup while the baby in the back seat cried his little lungs out.  Dude had the nerve to throw all of us around like rag dolls when he mudded through the cornfield over to the golf course road.  We were about ready to jump when the truck hit pavement and we headed down toward the DEEPEST part of the water which was at the end of the hill.

When we got to the other side in one piece, there was this huge crew of people on all sorts of transportation like golf carts and gaters and boats... OH MY!  We moved our vehicles and got Heath to take us back where we came from but by then the water was bed deep.  After that, nothing but a tractor could get in, and that was only for a day.  Fortunately, my brother is a smart sort who knows a lot of people so he devised a way in and out using the landing at the airport as an entrance to our farm.  Mama and Daddy were down there on the other side of the water, after all.  During that week James Frank ferried my daddy to the by-pass for his doctor's appointment.  Mozella's house almost got flooded, but not quite.  And my parents managed to survive on groceries from the Plaza, just like they have for years.  As for me?  I moved to Gigi's couch so I could get to work.

The Plaza is gone now, just like the Dairy Queen.  Tucker Tire came back home to roost and they've got a brand new wooden fence around all the tires so that it looks a little more presentable on the way to the new and improved downtown 'burg.  There's been crews on that courthouse yard for almost a year and it still ain't done.  When you first come into town, if you take a left down toward the river there is a farmer's market.  That was the first piece in a new vision of this old town and there have been other improvements as well.  Some people say the Forked Deer is just a muddy old ruin....a relic filled with sewage from our wastewater treatment plant down on the banks.  As I remember it, it was a safe haven for a teenage girl who needed to get away from it all.


Monday, December 13, 2010

room for the spirit

Sick again.  Meh and bah, ya know?  I swore on my mother's cookbook back in July that I wouldn't whine when it got cold so I'm shivering quietly.  At least I didn't get stuck on the freakin' highway for hours.  My weekend with BG was nice and low key and enjoyed by all.  I had forgotten what it was like to have all those people and dogs on one couch together.  Warm!  That's what it is.  I missed the office Christmas party and managed to get all entwined in some family drama in spite of my intentions NOT to get outside again.  I'll spare the details, but there was a sudden rescue by myself and BG and one very unhappy cowboy standing there in his boots and short pajamas when we whisked her out to "make cookies".  She brought her phone and purse so I knew she was serious.

We managed, with the help of her walking stick and sheer grit, to get up the snowy stairs and into the warm little den.  Three generations of Reaves women sat huddled together with one very sweet chocolate lab and talked about our realities.  Fronto-temporal dementia is very rare, thank god.  Less than 5% of dementias are of this type, formerly known as Pick's disease because of the pick like bodies that are deposited in the frontal lobe of the brain.  Hallmark symptoms are OCD behaviors with a surprisingly sharp memory and a good dose of ritualistic behavior.  In other words, they're control freaks.  My mama is legally blind and can't walk well so she depends on the "keeper of the world" over there with the remote in his hand to guide her through their last days.   It's enough to make somebody say the "F" word, if you know what I mean.  Her friend who died last week is the one that got her to saying "shit".  Aunt Granny is the one who drops the F bomb on occasion.  Heh.

As Mr. Yates would say " this too shall pass".   And as Old Hoss would say " and so it goes".

Merry Christmas from Pecan Lane ya'll.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

fruit of the spirit

My dear friend and salsa sister Miss Athena is a high school secretary/everything during the day and an artist at heart.  Her handmade jewelry is crafted with flair and a hint of the deep spirituality that lies within her heart.  It is a totally inclusive and loving heart, with a take no prisoners attitude when it comes to life in a modern high school.  One of the first of her pieces that I wore was a bracelet given to me by our other salsa sister called Fruit of the Spirit.  Each stone is a different color representing a passage of scripture.  Since it was given to me freely, I didn't hesitate to wear it for about a year and then pass it onto Yaya one birthday up at the kudzu bar.  That MIGHT be the one where she fell off the stage, but I'm not sure.  I'll have to consult redneck friend on that one!

I have given this bracelet to many people, including my babygirl.  She wore it all through the grueling college years when she was working third shift and commuting to school to become an unemployed social worker.  Times are hard for everybody, especially young folks who didn't get a foot in the door before all the jobs went away.  That being said, there are plenty, like her....who are willing to do most anything as long as it's enjoyable, helps people and isn't about the almighty dollar.  That's what WE as a generation got caught up in....the big ride towards a fat retirement that is all of a sudden vaporizing in front of our baby boomer eyes.  I did not expect things to look like this when I was her age.  There was a glimmer of hope then with the booming economy and easy credit.  Jobs were plentiful, especially in healthcare.

Anywho....back to the bracelet story.  BG spent the night here so she could go to a dirty santa party with her girlfriends.  Before she left we were sitting at the kitchen table ( of course ) and she removed the bracelet from her arm and placed it on mine.  It's been a long time since I felt that much joy welling up inside of this old heart.  I cried...she tried not to.  It was one of those moments when you know Big Ernie is real and good and listens to your prayers.  For those of you who were in on that little prayer chain, thanks.  You can go to bed knowing that you were heard.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

deck the halls

Most of the stuff that I dragged down from mama's storage room to her dining room table got sorted through and returned upstairs, with a bit more order.  Fine with me.....we'll do it next year.  I remember distinctly when I began the de-cluttering of this old house and I burned several fires off of old wrapping paper and boxes with mouse turds in 'em.  Oh...and rabbit feed bags.  WTF?  I guess Mr. Council raised bunnies up there or something.  There is one sheetrocked room that belonged to their son back in the day but there's no power to it and it's so hot or cold up there you can't stand it for long.  Ancient fiberglass insulation strips hang wickedly from the high beamed ceiling in the center.  Very little is left there now except for china and toys.  Yes...I was THAT serious.

After that I began on the basement and that took about five years to get all the mud and crap out.  The dryer vents down there so you can just imagine what it looks like at night.  Scary!  Back in the day BG and her friends partied down there, discovering puberty and obnoxious behavior.  Go figure that MY house was the one they always picked.  At least I had a place to put 'em.  One guy had to have stitches in his head after whacking it on the entrance to her room from the basement.  Fun times, huh Moody?

I picked my parents up this afternoon and went to the funeral home for the umpteenth time this year.  I can personally tell you that nothing will make a girl sadder than seeing her mama cry over her dear departed friend's casket.  Nothing.  There is something oddly comforting about funerals around Christmas to me because they are so "out of character" with the season what with the sadness and all when we're all excited about new life in the stable.  In a way, I suppose that's what it's all about.  Even when we're sad about leaving the earthly life, there's always hope that we'll meet again.  Like on the road to Emmaus or that room with many mansions.

Peace out ya'll.  If anybody shoots any mistletoe, send me some.  I'll pay you with a chocolate cake.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

state of mind

As my old friend Mr. George would say "Oh, boy."  Some people see the valleys of life as something to be attacked with a vengeance, just another hurdle or dare waiting to be taken.  Unfortunately, I'm not one of 'em, these days.  Life has taken on such a surreal pace that I keep looking for the pause button just to get a break from daily drama.  I was sort of quiet today at the sawmill, thinking about the deaths of Elizabeth Edwards and our dear friend Miss Ruth.  Ms. Edwards seems to have more than her fair share of bad karma, thanks to the MSM smearing her bad news all over freakin' everywhere.  Miss Ruth?  Her life will never make CNN, but she damn sure made an impression on me and my family.  Rest in peace ya'll.

The more December days that pass, the more I realize that all of the futile time, energy and money that has been spent in the past on the holiday season is nothing compared to the times we spend together as a family when we get the chance.  Sometimes that's waiting on an ambulance and sometimes it's sitting quietly with a box of kleenex.  What matters is that we are there for each other come hell or high water....literally!!  There are boundaries as to what can safely be put up with before a full blown clusterf**k comes to be, but normally those are the turning points and decisions are made that have been put off for ages.  That's been my experience, anyways.

For those of you who are of the spiritual sort, I'd like to ask a favor.  There is a person whom I love that is deeply troubled with life and searching for direction. Please pray for this soul and for Big Ernie's will to be done.  That's all I want for Christmas.


Monday, December 6, 2010

life therapy and neutered dogs

Oscar got snipped today and the discharge orders were something along the lines of "limited activity".  Which is impossible for a young terrier with a rowdy Sam around, if you know what I mean.  I reckon I'll just let 'em play and medicate the poor baby wild thang before bed.  Which will come early, by the way.

There is a lot going on around here emotionally and it's not all bad.  As a family, we are drawing together to remember our last times together as we know it.  Any of you who have gone through it know that nothing will get the snot slinging and boo-hooing going on faster than going through old stuff and sorting out the trash.  When I left that attic room, it was empty except for letters, papers and pictures.  That will come later.

I haven't heard anything about the photo contest.  It's usually in the local paper who the winners are.  I imagine that my propane guy (bless his HUGE heart) would like for me to win so he can have some money for keeping me and the dogs warm.  Uh...and the dentist too.  I've got this almost flat tire that I air up every other day and so far I've only had to ask for a ride to work one time.  My luck will probably run out now that it's cold.

The chat at the sawmill turned to gift buying and wrapping today and I wasn't the only one who hasn't bought anything, much less pretended to wrap.  I will just give all my special people a big hug and tell them I love 'em.  Maybe make some cookies or something.  You never know around here.


Saturday, December 4, 2010

i'll be home for christmas

I sit here deliberately typing my thoughts with the sound of a home cooked by BG meal and I can hardly believe my luck.  This chick has watched enough food channel to cook for all the president's men on a moment's notice.  That's the way we roll in our respective kitchens.  Mama  is our inspiration, with a side of Paula Deen and Hell's Kitchen.  We enjoy blending things and seeing what this or that herb will add to a dish.  There are certain staples which we find almost impossible to deal with so the staples list looks like this:  pasta, rice, veggies, olive oil, parmesan, balsamic vinegar, salted butter, half and half, eggs, bread, italian seasoning, fresh garlic and onion, bread crumbs, fresh chicken or fish, asparagus, when in season of course.  Lemon juice and chives.  Salad dressing.  Filtered water or fruit tea :)  A bite of something sweet and brush ya'lls teeth.

When I went down to check on the grands this morning and count pills, they were doing their usual thing with Bonanza and the clock.  Mama and me cried a lot....about family concerns and worries.  An hour upstairs turned into an almost empty attic room where my baby brother lived, back in the day.  That's where the big attic fan was when we were kids.  There's a bunch of empty boxes to burn and a few cherished family heirlooms to share before it's all said and done.

I feel sorry for people who are expecting kids right now because the world isn't the peaceful place it was when I was little.  Back then, most businesses were family owned and operated and nobody knew China other than that place on the other side of the world where they work cheap.  American workers took the union route and essentially pissed off good jobs with a decent wage just to have a paid advocate.  I think that's called lobbying, but I could be wrong.  The sometimers' strikes a bit more often these days, but I still hold true to my core values and beliefs.  Big Ernie is good and Noah had the right idea.

Happy holidays, ya'll.  Keep the faith ^j^

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

'tis the season..

We sat, my mother and I, in our rockers in the den enjoying the quiet after our storm.  She has always been one to do Christmas....or ANY holiday for that matter, up like the special day that it is.  We had sugar cookies as kids decorated by hand for every kid in the class and she made us help! was fun.  Even after I became an adult, she could never quite understand why everybody doesn't just lay on the couch, watch the fire and enjoy the tree.  To her, it is a magical time when anything is possible.  I remember one year specifically that it snowed and my daddy went outside to make sleigh tracks for us to find.  Amazing stuff when you're not quite sure you  believe anymore.

I hauled down most of what was in the room that even looked like it had a red or green spot on it, and then we rested and chatted about what we had accomplished.  "It's only the first day of December, you know"  she said to me.  "Yes ma'am" was my reply.  We don't get to talk much what with daddy all up in the picture so I treasure the quiet times that it happens.  Her wisdom and unwavering faith give ME personally, a reason to believe.  Not just in Santa Claus or fairies or the Easter bunny.  I believe that if you live a good life and pay things forward, karma will always come back around and getcha'.  She gave me Oscar's adoption fee as an early gift, and I trekked back up the hill with her old silk tree in the back seat.  It will be beautiful when decorated with my favorite ornaments, some of which were handed down from her, just like the magic of advent.

I believe ^j^

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

this and that

We finally made it to the vet today with our latest shelter dog, Oscar. Amazingly, this network of animal lovers came together and made a visit possible when I don't have a dime to spare.  His little back got shaved so that Dr. Pierce could get a better look at the gaping wound.  There was a picture and some pain meds plus a tube of brand new skin to help him heal from whatever the hell happened.  I shudder to think about the details of that considering the shouting match I heard coming down the lane from his old home yesterday afternoon.

My personal massage therapist has been working faithfully on the neck and shoulder areas so that I don't have to beg co-workers to put an elbow to it ask for help during my days at the sawmill.  Not that I would turn it down, mind you.  It's just that we're all old and tired and corporate America just demands so darn much of old people these days.  I figure when North Korea blasts us all into the sky it won't matter much how many times I was tardy or how often I didn't attend a mandatory meeting.  Somebody needs to talk to our people about their people and figure out that the big import/export thing is screwing us into the ground as a country. Uh, and also about  our tendency to play big Ike and get involved in every border skirmish the world over.  Merry happy holiday season from Asia!  With a gift card too :)

My gifts this season will be personal and not too much out of pocket because, hey.  Ya'll know how I roll and what the finances look like.   It's time to the meaning of the season rather than spend money we don't have on things we don't need. Okay.....maybe some socks and underwear :)  And a new Mary Englebreit calendar....her art  brightens my days all year long!  As I type, there is a gentle snow falling, the first that I've seen this season.  It won't last long, and certainly won't stick but it's pretty to look at.

I guess ya'll all heard about poor Willie Nelson getting busted again.  77 years old and six ounces of weed on the bus!  I reckon the border patrol needed that score to add to their quota.  Leave the man alone, please.  His 2500 bail won't even pay the salaries of the people who made that arrest.

That's all the wisdom I've got for today.  BG and I are booked to go through my mama's "holiday/ junk room" and decorate her house for Christmas, then haul out what she doesn't want.  We're doing this room by room, treasure by treasure listening to stories about where this or that came from and trying to remember it all for posterity.  It is a bittersweet thing to say the least.

Later ya'll.  Keep it in the middle of the road ^j^

Thursday, November 25, 2010

group hug

Since I was raised up in the thankful faithful sort of way out here on the farm, Thanksgiving is a very special day to me....more so than Christmas really.  It is, for many people, a time to gloat over the fact that all the shopping will be after black friday.  I reckon that's why I refuse to put out even the first reindeer until this weekend.  I'm ornery like that sometimes.

My dear friend in Knoxville is spending the holiday in a hospital with her son, something that she has done many times over the years.  Life goes on, even when the mail doesn't run, ya know?  Special hugs for them.  And for my friends who are serving our country far away from home.  After 33 years of working holidays I can tell you that it's okay as long as you're close enough to home to score a home cooked meal, just the way you like it.

This has been a "challenging" year for me personally and all of you as well.  Everybody's got something on their plate that is causing some pain or misery and you never know who needs a hug at just the right time.  I'm a big touchy feely kind of person so I'm always up for one.  Wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's a hug for all ya'll just because. Feeling blessed is what it's all about ^j^

Sunday, November 21, 2010

the new normal

Back in the day I was one of those demon bloggers who spent every waking minute reading about my blog friends' lives vicariously and involving them with mine.  The trail stretched all across the world, though I only met one of 'em in person.  If you remember Old Horsetail Snake, you know THAT story, god rest his soul.  One year he sent me an electric sander to finish up my kitchen remodeling job!  That was after I sent his ailing wife a UT bracelet and him some cookies to the nursing home where they lived.  After her death, he moved out and began living his life again in earnest.  It was then that I learned that people really DO care and want to reach out to others.  Unless you're a sociopath or terribly spoiled, it's human nature to want to help.

Now that my daily routine includes a sort of 24 hour call schedule for my parents, I don't find the time to write much other than a recap of the occasional peak or valley.  It happened while I wasn't looking, beginning with their multiple car accidents and various trips and falls.  And macular degeneration + fronto-temporal dementia.  It's a very difficult combination of disabilities, and proves sometimes to be a challenge for the caregivers.  But hey...we try to maintain.  The alternative isn't something that they're willing to go for right now.

There's an unspoken turf war going on here on the lane between a newcomer who asked permission to pick up pecans and the old faithful man who has been here every day for two months.  I explained that to new guy and asked him to respect his elder.  I noticed them out in the road chatting with each other yesterday so it's all good.  It's amazing what memories people in the south have of pecan season.  My grandfather owned several farms with trees and I remember going there as a kid to pick up.  Oh yeah....there was a little kid in the mix yesterday too, riding a four wheeler with his grandpa.   That was after the worst of the fog moved out and before it slithered back in for an encore.  I was at the beauty shop the other day and the young very feminine guy at the register hollered at his pregnant as a goose co-worker when she left in the rain: "Be careful!  Watch out for deer and drunk drivers!"  Only in the south, ya'll.  Only in the south.

I entered three photographs in the local photography contest here and they are now displayed with the hundred others at the community college for voting by the public.  I'm assuming there are no names or anything so that you judge the picture by how you like it rather than who took it.  No bias and all that.  We shall see.  I'm sure the propane guy would appreciate payment before I run completely out so the money would help with that or maybe the car insurance.  At this point, it really doesn't matter.  Come and get me, I say.  But if you put me in jail???  There goes my earning potential so you're screwing yourself.  Think about it.

Like everyone else, I'm making a list and checking it twice for Thanksgiving.  My parents and I went to the store after breakfast today and picked up a few things for our feast.  It will be an odd assortment of family and friends and that's exactly how I like it.  We might even hop on the gator and visit the neighbors.

Ya'll eat 'til you can't hold anymore.  It's the time of the year you can smooth get away with it.


Friday, November 19, 2010

the middle of the beginning of the end, and after

I distinctly remember having a conversation with my youngest brother around eight years ago, when I saw that Virginia was to be his home.  We talked a lot about the "don't own/can't defend" rule of thumb in the law, and decided that we would just roll with it until it ceased to be our homeplace.  Bubba stepped up to the plate, after much urging from all of us, and has made fantastic use of the land.  Trees have been trimmed and ponds buried, but it looks much better.  Time to move onto the next chapter.I would die a happy woman if I knew that this virtual wildlife reserve could be maintained.  The old dairy barn with the huge silos is a high point.  Where it used to be a dumping place for old political signs, now it houses farm equipment.  There's no need for much hay with no cows.  Cows are REALLY dumb, by the way.

Tomorrow is my mama's 77th birthday, bless her heart.  BG read her cards from girlfriends to her today and said they shared many a tale about the old days.  I heard through the grapevine that they snuck out at 4AM to play TENNIS?  Ha!  Busted, ya'll. The one and only time I snuck out of  my parents' house I got busted big time.  And of course, it was over some oversexed teenage boy.  When I saw the looks on their faces after I turned up okay, I was a believer.  Daddy cried when he saw me standing there making up lies to tell them.  I never forgot that, because he didn't cry much.  I think it had something to do with growing up as a sharecropper's son during the depression.  You had to be tough to survive.

"One day at a time" is a phrase that many support groups embrace and live as communities.  When we talk about stuff at work now, it's a given that somebody has some family drama going on and we just have to do the group hug thing and go on with our business.  BG first started watching Scrubs back in the day and it stuck with us.  Ditto for Family Guy and the Propane Guy.  And of course, Chelsey.  When times are as tough as they are now, laughter is the best option all the way around.  Seriously!

It's the weekend eve so I'm outta here and onto other things like warm blankets and such.  Peace out.....and call your mother ^j^

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

coyote ugly

My newest little foster dog wandered up out of the woods with a big wound on his back.  At first we figured he was an abused dog...some poor little thing like the ones who survived the house at the end of the Sable.  Sam and I have been tending to Oscar's injury as much as he will let us, which mostly consists of Sam cleaning it for him.  When I let 'em in for the night, I heard some familiar yelping in the distance across the road and I noticed that Ockie's back was bloody again.  Guess that mean's I'm sleeping on Aunt Granny's  couch again tonight and that's okay with me.

Work?  The usual chinese fire drill.  No surprises there, except for free turkey and dressing because it's almost Thanksgiving.  I'm off on the day, but nothing more.  Don't be looking for Poops out shopping on black friday.  This holiday season, my gifts will be handmade which means you'll probably get a matted or framed print of some beautiful scenic view or a spontaneous hilarious moment.  But that's only if I can save enough between now and then to order them.  Ditto for the holiday cakes of appreciation.

My  budget is at zero, which means that my mind will probably be more on what the whole Advent thing  is about.  That's not a bad thing at all, and I don't even have to wear a reason for the season pin to proclaim it.  Because, hey.  I'll be at the sawmill this year.  Hope to NOT see you there.

Seasons greetings from Pecan Lane ^j^

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

girlie stuff

Needless to say anything outside of the dollar store price range is pretty much not in my budget.  A few weeks ago an old friend called to ask for a referral to a local real estate agent and I hooked him up with a friend of a friend.  Much to my surprise she sent a gift card to the smell good place as a thank you.  Haven't done my nails since Gigi's pool closed and they're feeling nekkid so I stopped by the infamous Headlines salon to pick up a bottle of OPI.  Which resulted in new shampoo as well.  And then, I went to the mall store to use my gift and my friend who works there showed me a killer deal on candles so I'm good to go. Sometimes you just gotta say to hell with it and retreat.

Back in August, one of my co-workers sent out a request from the local women's mag for gals with "bucket lists"  and I stuck my hand straight up in the air saying "Pick me!"  Following an hour interview and one more for photos Kathy Krone took the story of my mother, myself and my daughter and blended all of us together in a piece that I felt privileged to be a part of.  We are spread across Dyer County, but still maintain that bond where somebody knows what everybody else is doing most of the time.  Like today is mama's bridge day, for instance.I know from personal experience how much is involved with keeping elderly parents in their homes, and it saddens me to think of how many other families don't have the means to do that. My folks are not well off, by any means.  But what they make pays for them to stay at home with daily household help.

One of the things on my "bucket list" was an entire day at a spa with a full body massage and mud.  Haven't gotten to the mud part yet, but I have been blessed with a friend who likes to keeps his hands moving so my neck and shoulders get a good workout.  That will save me thousands on neck surgery alone :)  Gotta get to the kitchen and start on the cornbread.  My friend Kay had her dressing in the freezer by Halloween ( of course )  so I'm way behind.  If I start washing dishes now, I might get the cornbread cooked by Thanksgiving.

Gobble gobble, ya'll.

Monday, November 15, 2010

the box box

Don't ask me what I was thinking ya'll, but once upon a time I collected boxes.  Each of them was unique, unless they came in a nest which they tend to do, especially at the dollar store..  Over the years kids drag them over to somebody's house and the dog chews one up.  Nothing is forever, least of all collectibles.  I treasure every single piece of post WWII fabric and every stick of antique furniture because they are relics of my upbringing, little pieces of memory that provide comfort.  Add a candle to it and you've got atmosphere!

It was Monday, all day long at the sawmill.  The sun wasn't even up when I pulled up next to the rail and jumped out of dragged my old tired ass out of the trusty Camry with two hubcaps, two almost flat tires and never more than a quarter tank of gas.  I had a good weekend so it took until 2PM for me to wear out.  It's amazing what restful sleep will do for a body.

Most of the boxes are in piles now, waiting to be put into another box until they get to wherever they end up.  At this point in time, I don't have a clue.  But I'm sure that Big Ernie does.

Ya'll say your prayers and call your momma.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

do no harm

Working in the field of healthcare has given me a keen awareness of who's in it for the money and who really enjoys "helping people."  Obviously, I'm not in it for the money because I never have any.  What is amazing to me is how far the professional fee write off thing will go with people that you know and respect at times, and at other times it's all about keeping the big fat boat floatin'.   There was this one guy, in particular, whose daughters went to church with BG.  He did some nerve studies in his "mobile lab"  to prove that I had carpal tunnel syndrome so that the surgeon could fix it.  That's how insurance rolls, ya know.

Anywho....I was still on basic then because it's all I could afford and the deductible was a thousand bucks so guess who got screwed.  Umm...I'll give you a hint.  It wasn't him.  I sent this man a personal letter asking for some forgiveness seeing as how times were hard and all that.  My reply was a phone call from a particularly nasty collection agency whose agent told me "Look....lady.  I'm a bill collector.  It ain't my job to be nice."  That went auto draft quickly.  Sheesh.  I survived a Chapter 7 bankruptcy following the divorce and remarriage.  That was back in the day when credit was king and the cards mounted up over time.  As did the car payments and what not.  And the price of beans.  Coming back from that is akin to digging a hole to China with a tablespoon started in the side yard like BG and Mary did that day long ago at the age of eight.  That wasn't very long after she pinned her cousin to the ground on in the yard and I had to break it up.  

The difference now is that many provider practices are owned corporately and ya'll know they don't play when it comes to money.  I'm just sayin'.  My company will write off deductibles for me if I require treatment there, but in the doc's offices you're on your own with insurance that is deducted by payroll.  And now you tell me that won't be tax free anymore?  Oh, please.  Let's all go apeshit crazy and take our country back from big business and support ourselves instead of the rest of the freakin' world.  Homeland security?  Does that phrase ring a bell???

Yep. I'm definitely in a rambling mood.  Watch out world ^j^

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

holy war

I haven't been on a soapbox in a long time....well since Dubya left the big house.  It was in pretty bad shape then  and the transition to Obamaland hasn't been a piece of cake either.  But my thoughts today have nothing at all to do with party lines or loyalties.  I let go of that piece of the dream after the go boys!  The whole mess is simple or as my Daddy says: " It has always been thus and so."  If you look back through your bible or koran or whatever you choose for worship there is surely to goodness something to do with being nice to others instead of persecuting them for their religious beliefs or sexual preference.  What was that cute little book about lettin' go of the small stuff?  

It is indeed biblical the way I see the tribes railing at each other today insisting that each and their allies and allies grandmamas are W.R.O.N.G  Sheesh.  I believe that Big Ernie addressed that kind of stuff back in the first part of the good book when he got mad after people ignored the ten big ones.  I'm sure it still totally pisses him off, so I try to be good on the basics.  The rest is just details.  I will never understand how we have to make it all complicated and something to kill each other over.  Our society AND others have raised a generation of people who will never know the Wally and Beaver and Andy Griffith type of existence that I was raised in.  Not that it was all gooey goodness of figuring out who you are as a woman, an american and a hippie in a world where you're expected to be a "nice girl."  Ya'll all know how that one turned out.

Personally, I don't see why anybody would not want to get along and work together toward some kind of common goal, preferably at a local level where the community's needs are met by locals who have nothing to gain but the satisfaction of sharing with their neighbors.  It may not bring world peace, but it will surely bring a whole hell of a lot of peace to a few lucky neighborhoods.  I grew up in one  just like that and so did my daughter.   I do not believe in racial and ethnic parity because in my mind that takes away who I am as a person rather than a percentage of the total workforce.  No apologies...that's my view as a woman who has supposedly gotten some benefit from the ERA and the tail end of prosperity in our country.  The people cannot speak because their elected representatives make it hard to choose between the urgent pleading of an unemployed worker and dinner with a lobbyist.  In case you've never thought about it...that's YOUR money they're blowing on entitlements.  Money that they use all year long interest free.

I am one pissed off American right now because I remember the good times and I want them back in some form or fashion for my grandchildren.  I suppose that is what we do as elders......keep the stories alive to be passed down through the years.  Lordy...I sound like my mama.  And that ain't a bad thing, by any means.


Tuesday, November 9, 2010


For some unknown reason, both Blogger and Google decided to kick me off and make me figure out how to get back in.  As my old friend Risible Girl would say "meh".  Their instructions for password recovery stated that it they note suspicious activity the account is disabled.  All I can figure is that some smartass in Nigeria was trying to hijack my many daily ramblings and make a fortune off of my still unwritten book.  In case ya'll didn't know, Nigeria is a hotbed of people with nothing else to do but sit around on PCs and aggravate the rest of the world.  Been there done that with Prince Fred.  Anybody remember THAT story????

My Monday off was a busy one beginning with a trip to the doctor with both parents.  Mama's stitches aren't healed well enough yet to take out, so there's another trip on Friday.  Plus one next week to the gastro buy.  Getting old is not for sissies, I'm just saying.  After some errand running, I cooked for my brother's poker club and had my first experience with turnip greens.  Shewwwweeee!  That is my Christmas gift to him every year and I was first set to serve them on the day the hundred year flood hit back in May.  That would be May 4th, to be exact.  I will never forget that day as long as I live.  South Dyersburg still looks like a ghost town.

And so now....I must go find my missing phone.  If ya'll have my number, call me a few times :)

Friday, November 5, 2010

colors galore

I was wrong when I thought that the leaves here had peaked last week.  Pecan Lane is still awash with fall colors basking in the cool windy sunshine of today.  A hard freeze is predicted for tonight, which will make allergy sufferers like myself breathe a lot easier.  The air is crisp and clean....something that I only dreamed of back in the sultry days of July.  Today is my one and only official play day with a weekend full of sawmill ahead.  All I can say is I hope ya'll got a flu shot.  'Tis the season and it's not too late!

Sam and Oscar have taken up with each other like true brothers and play endlessly, their nails clicking on the laminate as they scuffle around seeing who's the alpha for a day.  Don't tell anybody, but I saw the pecan guy down the road raiding my favorite trees and he was BENDING over at the waist which resulted in a 911 call last week.  I didn't have the heart to ask him to use that picker upper thing.  Mama's head is much better after a visit to the beauty shop to get the blood out of her hair.  She does look a little like somebody hit her in the face with a baseball bat though :(  I'm glad it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks.  The 14 stitches will come out on Monday when she visits her regular doc.

I gave up on raking leaves in the fall many moons ago because the winds up on this hill usually take care of it for me.  Yesterday afternoon I went over to Gigi's newly acquired property to help her get it in shape for rental.  She picked the perfect job for me.....raking leaves in the small fenced in back yard.  Neither she nor her son had noticed that there's a poison ivy vine as fat as a snake crawling upward into the biggest tree on the fence.  I did what I could with it, but that's gonna take a chainsaw to fix that little problem.  My sista, as I call her, is a master at finding good properties with potential and adding her magic decorative touch to them.  I've been sorting through and doing a little renovation myself since BG moved out leaving me with her room to use as a den.

The squeaky dryer will buzz any second now.  Ya'll give somebody a hug like you mean it. Best therapy in the world ^j^

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

hump day friday

I get to sleep in for the next two days in a row and I just can't put into words how very delicious that sounds right now..  After all, I'm a senior citizen now, ya know?   Too bad I can't retire yet.  Thanks to wasteful government spending and bad management that will be at age 67 or when I drop dead on the ergonomic mats earning rent money.  Whichever comes first.  My little general Yankee friend and I were discussing election results today at the sawmill with an emphasis on the huge GOP victory party up there in the House.  We both agreed that it didn't matter WHO is president right now, even if if was Jesus..the people will flip flop according to what's going on with the economy and whatnot.  Healthcare is a biggie. Insurance premiums went up ( again!) and there still seems to be less benefit money available for preventive medicine than for big bucks medical specialists and high tech testing.  Personally, I believe that our country could benefit to a less top heavy sort of federal government with a return of responsibility to the individual states to care for their population.  The cost of healthcare delivery in the south is wayyyyyyyyy up there due to the high poverty level.  Poverty = unhealthy eating habits and bad karma on the home front.  The fed now totes most of the note for that, without regard for all those people who live in less populated states.  Maybe that's what the whole Civil War was about, huh?????

It was a humbling experience, once again, to sit at my mother's side in fast track and observe her treatment at the hands of my co-workers.  I had never met either of them, but they got that head wound stitched and moved us out of there in two hours, just in time for the news with daddy.  BG tag teamed with me on that one, and delivered my entries for the local photo contest to the chamber office while I watched the suturing.  I wondered, after the fact, if everyone who comes in there feels that comfort level.  I reckon that's what we work toward as a team.

Our local paper puts out a quarterly women's magazine, each time with a different theme.  They ask for volunteers to tell their stories and the bucket list one caught my eye thanks to our company PR gal.  A very kind and insightful reporter took some pics and talked with us for awhile and the work was absolutely what I need to feel right now.....a huge group hug for me, my momma and my babygirl.  BG called me this afternoon to tell me that Gail and Oprah were camping out.  What .A. Hoot!

"Ya'll be careful out there."  Hill Street Blues

Monday, November 1, 2010

crisis mode

It's amazing to me how quickly your sense of time changes when there's an emergency in the works. I've called 911 twice in a week, once for the pecan man who fell over picking up nuts and today for my mother who just umm...fell over and busted her head open.  Daddy called me and said I'd better come on because "mama fell."  When I got there she was still on the floor and Ms. Faye, lord rest her soul, was cleaning the blood off the carpet.  It's been a little over two years since the last ambulance run there, when she fell and broke her arm on Easter Sunday trying to cook supper.  There is nothing more emotionally painful than watching a parent get battered and bruised just by trying to keep on keepin' on.  She feels terribly sad because she can't do the things that she used to love, like reading and watching TV.  I can't imagine losing my sight so it's hard for me to relate.  Mostly I just try to get her to verbalize what the realities are so that we can identify what can be changed and what can't.  Macular degeneration is on the "can't fix" list.  So is the frontotemporal dementia that daddy has.
It just doesn't seem right that you work hard all your life and that's what old age hands you to deal with.

Like much of the nation, I was mesmerized by the rally on Saturday, loving every minute of the comic and musical relief that was markedly non-partisan and inclusive up to its' ass.  But then again, that's how I roll.  I heard one conservative complain online something to the effect that America is stupid to listen to a comic and a clown stand up there in Washington telling us how to think and feel.  Hmm.  Isn't that what they've ALWAYS done up in that neck of the woods???  I cried when the Four Troops sang the national anthem.  And I laughed myself silly with every jab that Stewart and Colbert threw at each other because it is all so very true.  The country that I know and love has finally grown a pair and said heck no to partisan politics.  I did NOT vote in the election, nor will I because I feel that the choices put on those ballots, sponsored by two equally greedy parties, are not what I believe in.  To hell with 'em. And the horses they rode in on.

And for the record?  I vote for peace, love and rock'n'roll.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

calm after the storm was a real leaf blower around here the past 24 hours!  All is quiet now following a morning of driving ran.  I'm grateful for it, even if it is too late for the summer crops.  There's always winter wheat, followed by wheat beans.  It's an unbroken circle here in the land of pecans.  If you can believe it, I didn't find out until the age of 50 what the term "wheat beans" means....I thought it was something in the organic section of Kroger.  For real.

As our luck usually runs, the plans that BG and I made to meet up and go to the funeral home together got sidetracked by her stoooopid car that hates to run.  She called later on to tell me that she had been a part of the funeral anyway, by accident.  She finally gave up and drove BF's big old redneck truck into town and was the first to pull over for the procession carrying our dear friends to the graveside service. Now THAT is karma.  Babygirl took Faith and Sam home with her so that Oscar could have some room to breathe.  Sam has been pestering him non-stop since he showed up.  I think it's a guy thing.

Some kind phantom chopped the asparagus for me and I'm bewildered but glad.  Now maybe I won't catch anything on fire when I burn it off :)  My lawn yard which was nice and neat a week ago is now ablaze with orange and red leaves knocked off by the wind and rain.  We are just at peak in what I thought would be a really boring leaf peeping season.  Hey....what do I know??

It's porch and Mich time kids.....remember who you are ^j^

Saturday, October 23, 2010

google hates me

I mean seriously...I had to give them my cell number to get up in this place today and I know everybody's just dying to know about Suzy's birthday party up in the kudzu last night.  Last I saw her, she had done several 'jager bombs and had a shiny pink happy birthday hat to boot, surrounded by a whole bunch of cool people who love her.  Me and Aunt Gina went to Mexcio and ate like little piggies afterwards. Girl power!

Went by to visit my old friend the financial consultant yesterday only to find that my retirement with company #2 is on a restricted distribution kinda deal where you can draw a monthly benefit at 55 but can't roll over into something liquid.  It's the COMPANY that sets it up like that for their employees so they can borrow from it to finance the whole corporate thing.  And that, my friends, is a not for profit healthcare provider with the name of my church on it.  To hell with 'em.  When I get a terminal illness (which is the only exception) I'll take it run to Fiji for my final days and curse the local government officials who made that decision when the ones who knew what was up were ignored.  It was all about the money, which was about 10M over market value.  All just to make a point, a dot on the map of hospitals up and down Highway 51.  It's not their fault really.....the mission statement changed and all.

We are under a really dangerous fire watch situation here with heavy wind.  Please ya' NOT throw your damn butt out the truck window tonight on the way home from your local karaoke bar.  I will hunt you down like a dog if your burn up the 'burg.  I'm listening to Lady A and remembering how much fun the summer of '10 was up at the pool with my sister friends and their kids.  It's odd to think that back in May we had more water than could be traveled through and here we are watching dust devils chasing tractors.  Looks like this farm is ready to go to sleep for the winter.

"Carry on young people"   Frances Yarbro

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

the end of an era

I spent today cleaning up the bathrooms and floors (with a little help from my friend) at Dyersburg's first nightclub formerly known as Century 21.  Back in the day it was a happening disco inferno place owned by a couple of high rollers who bought a shiny ball and hung it over that still beautiful wooden dance floor.  There is a primo stage, a kickass light system and some great memories up in there.  I wore my Backroads Tour t-shirt in honor of Layne Wrye's performance there with a whole lot of talented country pickers.  It's in the washer now along with the shorts and shoes that I wore while cleaning my way through the nasties.

This place has always been an event.   Prom queens have been crowned on that stage...for real!  Many a talented musical group has packed up their shit and unloaded for an evening of  great music dedicated to fans who want a night out with some serious fun.   At last count, the property has changed ownership about...ummm...a kazillion times.  Three generations have grown up within those walls, listening to music and partying with their friends.  When BG was a teenager, it was an alcohol free environment for she and her buddies to dance and socialize.  Much later on, I tried my hand at food service and failed miserably but had loads of fun with the bands who made live appearances on that stage.  In between , there was a whole lot of DJ action going on.

We shut the lights out around four and headed onto our real lives where there are dawgs to be fed and jobs to be shown up for and family members who need our attention. If I had my druthers, it would be a grocery store because there's not a one in the southern part of the 'burg and I just refuse to drive to corporate alley unless I'm starving.  There's no Dairy Queen anymore...just the Dodger store and their delicious deep fried menu.  Their beer cave is fully stocked with 'Natty light and Bud in cans, but no Mich Ultra.  Only in bottles, which tend to clutter up the environment.

Anywho...I seem to be particularly blessed these days with lots of extra hugs so I'm happy about that.  Stay tuned later for live pictures from the used-to-be-a-bar.  I'll for sure get a shot of the car hanging from the ceiling before the fat lady sings.

Monday, October 18, 2010

cornbread and chicken

It's what's for dinner!  Well, plus a side of mini fried green 'maters which sizzle up oh so nice.  I've been plucking the last of the season off of daddy's big ass single plant in the concrete block next to his US flag with the light on it at night, always. Finally got some canola oil today at the dollar store so it looks like a go.  I splurged and bought some brownies for my sweet teeth.

Here is my life in a nutshell without points and bullets:

 Aging parents who are trying their best to stay at the homeplace 'til the clutter is cleaned out.  One is blind from macular degeneration, the other has frontotemporal dementia. Home health and hired help make it all possible so that my brother and I can be gainfully employed.

One grown daughter who worries about the whole deal and searches for an answer just like her mama.  We tend toward the faithful side of things, always searching for an plan to make things better when there doesn't seem to be a prayer in hell for any of us.  She has a very cool BF who adores her....always a plus.

Interests which range from music to photography and back to the written word.  Very cheap camera with limited capabilities.  No working CD player other than the ancient PC and the trusty Camry.  Two and a half dogs, no cats and a baby snake in the horse trough.  One very sweet friend who smokes cigars and likes to snuggle. Not sure if he trusts me to be sane yet.  Time will tell.

Anti-anything that has to do with war but respectful of those who serve the least of these even when it isn't in their job description.  Old hippies tend to be that way.  I reckon we still belove in peace and love.  I'll go to my grave wondering what this whole hate your neighbor thing is about.  Jesus wouldn't do that.  Look it up in the good book.

A long term job career with a company that has changed ownership twice during my thirty three years .  Each time that we were sold to the highest bidder, benefits for our employees were reduced.  I stayed close to home, but most don't.  They will travel where the money is which is kinda' sad to me.  Just think about all the good that could be done in a single community if there were purpose, leadership and direction without the dollar sign involved.  One can only imagine.

A spiritual outlook on living life that has absolutely nothing to do with organized religion, orphanages in other countries or apportionments and everything to do with meeting the need locally.  Likes participating in  games of skill, but hasn't played any of them in eons due to cloudy memory and sundowner's syndrome + the day job.  All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl, right?

Cornbread is done, chicken is almost there.  Over and out from Pecan Lane ^j^



Saturday, October 16, 2010

we've only just begun

I can't help it ya'll, I'm a sucker for sweet moments and today was one that will be on my personal memory card forever.  A whole bunch of people who love each other ( and a few who are bad sports ) came together to celebrate the marriage of our friends.  The weather was perfect, the flower girls typical three year olds and the bride and groom radiant as they contemplated their honeymoon in Greece in spite of all the drama that was involved in making it happen.  Game point for true love.

On the way home, I noticed a few missed calls and gave my mom a ring to check in.  She told me that my brother's beloved dog had been run over and killed.  She was upset, and of course he's pretty torn up.  I remember the day we went to pick Bandit out of a litter of muddy border collie pups and he picked US.  Little dude just crawled out with his steel blue eyes and said "pick me!".  The rest is history.  Daddy always had border collies when we were growing up to help with the cattle, and never was able to keep one from bolting either.  It's their nature to chase things and they're pretty damn quick about jumping in front of vehicles sorta like young deer.  I passed two on my way up the lane toward home this evening.  They didn't seem very scared, pausing to let me slow down to take in the wonder of the moment.  Youth is like that sometimes.

The sawmill was decent today......steady but manageable.  I took the opportunity to visit an old friend's mom  and had one of those "this is why i love healthcare" moments.  We talked about her next step which will be assisted living and she's okay with it.  That made me smile, knowing that her son has spent a lot of time with her lately and that it is a huge decision to give up the family home.  It's the hardest part of growing older.

I rode to the wedding with a carload of women that I have come to love over the years.  It dawned on me that our common bond is, essentially, my daughter.  And that my what life is all about.  We seized the moment to rock and chat on Vick's porch just old the old buddies that we are, each of  us a woman who has seen hard times and survived to laugh again.

I don't know about ya'll, but I'm feeling truly blessed.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

little moments

Heather and Joe's wedding is on Saturday and my poor BG started out the week with a full blown case of whatever her skin breaks out with this time of year.  With no job.  And no insurance.  Luckily she has friends in nice places and sought treatment so that she'll be cleared up enough to enjoy the cut with highlights, mani and pedi that her BF is paying for.  All I could say was "awwwwwwwwwww".    That Brad Paisley song always reminds me of them, because she's about as clumsy and mixed up as I am and he still adores her.   She's headed now to get all Bon QuiQuified at the world famous Headlines salon.  Heh...right Chucky?  I beweave in ya'll :)

We did a blow in and blow right back out lunch with the grands following HER big day at the beauty shop that seriously reminds us all of Steel Magnolias. Never a dull moment around here ya know?  BG did the grocery run and I'm in charge of JC Penney tomorrow to buy Daddy some pants that will stay up.  Like they say, it takes a village.  All the chatter around town today is about the sudden death of a teenage boy who took his own life.  He was a seemingly happy normal kid who cried out for help on Facebook before he did it, according to the tale as it is being told.  That's scary stuff....something that BG is a champion of as a social worker.  She stated that looking for that sort of thing was the first thing she learned during her SW classes.

The weather here is perfect and breezy, not nearly as dusty since most of the crops are gone, yet still no rain.  It's a beautiful day in my hood to take pictures what with the colors showing out and the nice temps.  Sounds like an afternoon plan to me.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

mining faith

The IT department at work will probably turn me in for what I did today considering how much of their bandwidth I took up watching those poor guys shoot up out of that mine in Chile.  It was worth it.  It dawned on me how much time and energy is spent on blame and anger when a group united to a common goal can figure out how to git 'er done.  That's somebody's Daddy down there!!  My hat is off to whomever contributed to a very precise yet painfully slow rescue for these workers.  What they pulled off makes the response to BPs oil spill look like recess during kindergarten.  I'm just sayin'.

I spent my last shift with someone today who has been sometimes a pain in the ass but always a ray of sunshine when I need it most.  She's related to half the world either by blood or personal experience and has a story about most all of it.  This chick babysat three dogs and a cat while we cavorted around on the beach a couple of years ago....and survived the big fat honkin' storm that knocked down the corner pecan tree.  Love ya....mean it.

The dogs are all settled in their respective corners of bliss.  It took long enough, but they finally realized that a double bed ain't near big enough for all of us to get any kind of quality sleep.  Which is exactly what I'm about to do.  See ya'll on the flip side.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

down to the short rows

For those of you not from the southeastern US, that's a phrase that refers to cotton pickin' time when you can almost see the end of the season but for a few stray bolls here and there on the ends of the fields.  It's all done by heavy machinery now, but back in the day there were real live people who depended on the cotton crop for a living.  When I was in grammar school, the county school system let out in October just so the kids could help their families and see a bit of history in the making.   I grew up surrounded by it, and once-upon-a-time my 'nother brother lit the other brother on fire in the cotton filled trailer.  We also had cows born on Christmas and rode in the back of a hay trailer while our daddy steered the tractor.

I've been listening to all this chatter about the mid-term elections and wondering how in the world we can possibly tell the sheep from the goats at this particular point in time.  Voting on party lines has always been a lost cause, and the free range candidates fail to make a good show because they don't have the bucks to pay lobbyists finance a campaign season where the media has totally taken control of our minds due to dirty ads.. The majority of their pieces are about fear mongering because "if it bleeds it leads."   Honestly, I don't care who started the damn war.  Let's just get it over with and move onto happy hour. Several of my friends have kids who are serving in Afghanistan now that the focus has magically shifted from Iraq to the caves.  I feel for them....just like I was indignant over the whole Vietnam thing as a young pup.  War as a commodity is an incredible waste of human lives in my humble opinion.   We are a prime target for the countries with very scary nuclear capabilities because we have been chasing the wrong tail just to satisfy our national pride and Wall Street.  Enough is enough, umkay?

I see clouds and that might mean rain.  I swear to Big Ernie, if it does......I'll dance in it.


Saturday, October 9, 2010

falling leaves

The lawn bigass yard is finally trimmed and ready for winter except for raking a few leaves when they decided to drop.  We are in October and still at 90 which is very unusual, and very very DRY as well.  My inner pyro has had to really give myself stern warnings about the burn ban, as much as I like to fire one up.  One time I burned up half the pasture when I was burning off the asparagus bed.  Me and a friend chased it with rakes until it got to the road and stopped.  Good times!!

I made one of my frequent trips to the dollar store today, this time for my parents.  When I left Daddy was pulling a huge pecan limb behind his gator with a wire.  Only he had run over the wire and was trying to re-group.  I stopped to help him and he was happily hauling to his pile when I pulled out of the driveway.  I think that's where I get the pyro tendencies.  And the stubborn attitude.  Yes I know my momma raised me to be a southern lady, but I can get seriously riled up when I'm mad.  It's good for the soul and all.

The scruffy little dog has become mine unless someone claims him.  Which isn't very likely....ya know?  I think he was one that got dumped on the side of the road at the place where they like animals.  Last night he joined us on the porch with Faith, Sam and Cletus in attendence.  Cletus is a rhodesian ridgeback and HUGE.  Thank the lord Frankie wasn't there because she would have been totally freaked.  Frankie and Cletus' mom and dad are getting married next Saturday and it will be beautiful because the heifer said so.  Right girl?

I have teevee again after a two week fast and it's nice to be able to watch my cartoons again....that's about the extent of it.  What would I do without my hero in Arlen????  My personal (very patient) propane guy will get paid this month for gas that he delivered a long time ago, and he hasn't even threatened me with court.  That's a good neighbor, right there.  About to begin drawing some well deserved retirement bucks to help with the bills, I found myself needing a copy of something proving marital status.  Now who in this world keeps their divorce decree?????   I had my lawyer friend's paralegal digging through files but she could only find number one.  Thank goodness BG has them in a box of family history that I passed on to her.  What a legacy :)

Ya'll smile like you mean it  ^j^

Friday, October 8, 2010


Usually it is only by pausing to look back that I see the work of Big Ernie in my life as the current  plan comes together.  The past month has been a blur, but I am slowly processing what all of it means and counting my blessings.  For so very long, I wondered why BE didn't see fit to bless me in a nice relationship with a guy who is polite yet rowdy in my kind of way and who appreciates me for what I am.  I totally believe he was holding out to see if I would settle like I've done so many times before.  The timing wasn't right what with BG and BF and the grands and money problems and such.  We have re-vamped our routines into a new normal that is comfortable and light with most of us on the same page.  That, my friends, is a blessing in itself.

Last night me and a couple of girlfriends were sitting on the porch with candles and beer, attempting to solve the problems of the world.  This little terrier looking dog who's been roaming the road ended up on the porch and I fed him.  And then he got a bath.  It struck me as we were sitting out there that it was just about this time last year when we buried Butters out in the pine grove, sobbing our little hearts out to Eva Cassidy singing "Over The Rainbow."  He has a big raw patch of skin on his back that looks like a fresh wound but it doesn't seem to bother him and anyway I'm "almost a nurse."  We're still thinking on a name.

I've had multiple neighbors at the end of the lane ranging from an odd couple pair of anesthesiologists to my brother and two of his wives with others scattered in.  Today at work, we interviewed a young lady who used to live there with her parents and visit our yard with her girls.  They loved seeing the kittens under the porch!  I've sat in on a ton of interviews, but this one was a love at first sight kind of thing. It dawned on me later that maybe that was a blessing as well considering all the drama we've had up in that place lately.

Corporate has been here touring the farm and taking care of business.  He comes once or twice a year, usually during planting or harvest to see what the plan is.  It is totally amazing to think of how many years my Daddy attempted to keep the thing going and they never had a clue what was going on with their valuable family property.  All that is different now, which I also count as a plus.

Ya'll be thinking about a name for this precious dog.  Marisa's suggestion was Scruffy, but it's still up in the air.  Keep the faith ^j^

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

hump day flu shot

Heh.  That title ought to take the search engines on a wild ride!  Back when I gave a rat's butt about who was reading my blog and from where, I checked one of those meter things that showed you what search phrase resulted in direct hits to my websites along with IP addresses. The most popular one by far?  Funeral clothes!  Go figure that one.  I've been without sat TV for almost two weeks and still don't miss it.  Sorry ya'll.  I think I'll just pay out my contract and call it even.  Honestly, the only thing I miss is the comedy stuff like Chelsea Lately and Scrubs and Comedy Central.

'Tis the season to get a flu shot and I stuck my arm up there real quick like when the rolling nurse cart came by.  It's a must for healthcare workers who get sneezed and snotted on all winter.  What I would really love is a big fat shot of decadron to take care of the allergy fit that has been precipitated by cotton pickin' time in Tennessee. It's amazing to watch, but the harvest is bad news for allergy sufferers like myself.  Pretty soon it will all be in the bag and our landscape will take on that eerie winter look of bare brown ground.

Things have been pretty hectic, in a relaxing make-you-tired sort of way.  BG's BF is in town for several days and they came out to watch the cotton pickers roll behind the barn yesterday evening.  My brother came by to ride a few rows with Farmer Joey and we babysat for Bandit his (very well behaved) dog.  First thing I did was let him out of the truck to run with my babies!  He loved every minute of it too.

No news is good news, or so they say.  Let's hold that thought ^j^

Friday, October 1, 2010

angels among us

I just finished bushhogging  the lawn   bigass yard up here on the top of Pecan Lane with the mower that gets hauled from here to the junction and back many times during the growing season.  This was the final cut for summer of '10 and consisted of a whole lot of dust and seed.  To say that it's dry is an understatement.  Think grapes of wrath and all that.  As I was making the loops on the rider, I remembered my first summer as a divorcee when I pushed a Wallyworld special every single day and never got the whole thing done. Of course I was much younger then.  Somehow or another I turned into a senior member of life and can barely manage to keep up with what time I go to work, much less do yard work with any sort of enthusiasm.  It ain't fun anymore.  It's a chore and I can't afford to pay somebody to do it so there ya go.  Maybe with a little help from my friends?  I am being pro-active by using my mother's day weedwhacker and pushmower to clean out the flower beds and fence rows.  I smooth ran over the front daffodil bed leaving bulbs shining their bare butts to Big Ernie and everybody.  I'm over it.  Time to move on.

The wonder of Facebook never ceases to amaze me.  My hefty little niece got born around 4AM and my KY cousin called me with congrats around eight because we all know that corporate America doesn't allow social networking on the job and Poops doesn't have a smartphone. Because,'s not in the budget.  These days I'm doing well to have a turkey sammich for dinner and Diet Dr. Pepper to jumpstart my day.  I live in an almost hundred year old very poorly insulated farmhouse with nice floors and high utility bills because my beloved parents are a mile down the road and they need me.  None of this matters to the landlord because he is strictly business and could care less about our legacy here.  No thank you to my daddy for all of his years of loyal service.  It's a blessing, and a curse all rolled into one, a paradox if you will.  Babygirl is happy and healthy.  There is a new woman named Peyton born into the next generation of tough Stafford women. Life is good.

We have a semi-annual uniform sale at the sawmill where you get a discount and can do a handy payroll deduction to buy work duds.  I wandered through the racks this morning and didn't see much except for some shoes I'd like.  These year old Nikes are NOT cuttin' it on the concrete up in that place, ergo mats or not.  I'll put that one on the SD list for sure :)   We've had lots of docs in and out of the lab this week which is sort of unusual.  Nobody much darkens the inner sanctum of where the tests are run except for techs, phlebotomists and a few nurses.  It's really rather comical to see a doc's face when he has an "ah-ha" moment as he or she understands how something is really done that they have always taken for granted.. like blood tests on which they base a huge part of their decision making process.  Of course every time the boss's boss shows up we're eating donuts or something equally decadent in our break room.  He rarely sees the hustle either.

I think one of the reasons that our profession has failed to attract new students is just because of that fact.  To most patients, everybody is a nurse.  They never see us......only the phlebotomists that we train OTJ and watch walk out the door for other employment.  If I were one who needed a lot of validation to feel important at work, I'd have been gone many years ago.  Almost was a few times.  But, something always kept me believing in what we do there as a team and a family within the laboratory walls.  Most of us have been there for 30+ years and there is nobody to replace us when retirement comes, if it does!  I'll probably drop dead in the hall and some cute little blond x-ray student girl will step right over me.  I'm kidding...okay?

And as for the ones who've come and gone?  They'll always be a part of the journey.


Monday, September 27, 2010

learn to be still

Oh.My.Lord, ya'll.  If  I've ever been more excited to have one day off, it is tomorrow.  The month of September has turned into a whirlwind of crises both personal and professional and I really just didn't need that right now.  But hey.  It is what it is.  And this too shall pass.  It makes you appreciate the quiet times like right now.  My two dog babies are snoozing and the windows are flung open for the first time since May.  And yes, there is a very nice breeze from the northwest.  Thanks BE ^j^

Hopefully I will finish my story at the Dew about the riverguys and manage to sift through some personal paperwork and laundry.  Maybe work in a visit with the grands since they're a mile down the road.  My niece was due to be born today and I guess it could still happen, but I sense that she's holding out so that older brother can have today's birthday all to himself.  There is this odd bond among people who share the same birthday....I work with several who share my date.  It must be a cosmos thing or something!

I'm headed to the porch in my lucky flip flops.  Hope you are doing something just as lovely.


Saturday, September 25, 2010

signs from above

I have found that Big Ernie tends to leave me messages kinda sorta like he did for Moses and all the rest of those folks.  They've never been of the burning bush or stone tablet variety, but I do catch on more quickly than ever these days.  Like a few minutes ago when I was out attempting to clean up the lawn yard a little bit and got stung by a wasp.  I figure that's a sign that this is not the day meant to be for that task.  Cooler air is on the time will come.

A friend and I did the truck tour of our farm yesterday evening and I got to snap a couple of river pictures right above where the levee blew out during that ginormous May flood.  There was beer and a couple of folding chairs and it was a lovely time to watch the sunset over the mighty Forked Deer.  The leaves are beginning to change and drop off slowly in that way where you can hear one hit the dust of the forest floor.  Sam went swimming too!

Work was work, and mercifully not too busy once we got past the early morning rush.  More of the same tomorrow.  And the next day.  It's how we (almost) pay the bills. I've been running short on cash so my satellite teevee service will go dead on Monday evening.  I kinda see that as a message from BE too.  Enough is enough with the small stuff. At least there's only one month left on the contract with this one.

As for me and mine, we shall be on the porch every day until it snows.