eldercare

I worked at Parkview hospital back when they had a nursing home where we got blood samples and brought them back over to the lab for analysis.  I was a hard job and required a lot of walking but I was only twenty something then.  My recent experiences with local healthcare providers have been quite pleasant.  Departments work together to provide the best care.  We were quite fortunate to land on 2N  with a very nice hospitalist.  Of course all of the ancillary departments were doing their best.  It is humbling to be on the other side of your life's work.

So tomorrow me and LP takes the doggos to the vet in Bells.  This should be interesting to say the least.  I'm just the transport ;)  If you love somebody and have a bond I think you heal each other slowly.  Getting to know another person at the soul level is sacred.  I have that bond with Rachel because she likes what I write and also we are connected by families for 50 years.  

Her wit, hard work and belief in a future with journalism have paid off.  I knew her when she was working two jobs trying to raise kids.  Of all of the kids Lauren's age, she is the most successful at living her dream.  

I know I am rambling a bit so it's time to chill.  Y'all keep the faith ^j^

sanctuary

Whew!  It's been a long week for us.  Lauren's surgery was scheduled for 12P yesterday and she arrived a little before 8.  I got there while she was still in the pre-admission process and we made it up to pre-op pretty quickly but it was a long wait.  We sat together in that little cubicle until anesthesia came in to do a nerve block and I was sent "outside the curtain."  I could hear her screaming and crying while they did it and then I started bawling.  It kind of gave me a flashback to when she had an emergency C-section with Reaves and the weeks following that.  Her epidural didn't work so it was me and the CRNA holding her down until they got that baby out so SHE could be knocked out.  What followed was two more months of surgery with a D and C because of leftover "stuff" and then another one to repair a perforated uterus due to the D and C.  She had knee surgery last year and it was a piece of cake compared to this foot thing.

If you know her, you know that she has two foster dogs that she rescued on Hwy 412 around Bells whose owner had been murdered by her husband.  And they witnessed it.  The rescue people have helped but they are really special needs and have to be walked on a regular basis to potty.  Ava the lab won't poop in her own yard so on her walks around the neighborhood she poops in THEIR yards which has to be picked up using plastic bags.  I'm talking HUGE turds.  Gobo is easier to handle with the potty thing  but is full of energy ( Australian shepherd mix ) and will pull you down in a heartbeat.  Which he did to me last evening when I was taking him out to pee and a neighbor pulled up.  I landed on my knee and hand on soft ground and was so exhausted I just started crying again.  Luckily the neighbor rescued us and all I have is a sprained thumb.  

We slept fitfully during the night after after another neighbor took the dogs out again and Kim and the kids came with flowers and cards.  Lauren is in a shoe with weight bearing as tolerated and tends to overdo so I helped her clean the house before I left today.  This was after we stopped with emergency flashers on busy Highland Ave. to move a dog that had been hit in the middle of the road.  We had passed him coming and going and I was determined, out of respect, to get that dead baby out of the road.  Traffic slowed and some guy in a Jeep stopped to help.  I couldn't have picked that poor dog up by myself but he did it with both hands and threw it in a nearby yard.  I wonder who is missing their doggo today?

Otherwise, I am home safe and sound and there is another shift of people going by to help Lauren.  If I need to, I will go back tomorrow.  That's what mamas do ^j^

grief

In my experience, we are all in various states of grief.  And I'm not just talking about dead people.  Any life or relationship change can result in feelings of loss and or abandonment.  I was crazy as a goose the first year after I retired from healthcare.  My relationships have morphed and changed until I know who my true friends are and those who pretend to be. My relationship with my granddaughter has turned into collateral damage based on the fact that grandparents have no rights.  And I'm not referring to my daughter.  

I am exhausted on so many levels.  The only thing that saves me is my faith.  I saw Sylvester at Casey's today doing his usual thing.  Sweeping up parking lots and floors.  He rides a bicycle and has a whole bunch of rags on his head.  Sweet as pie.  It made me more resilient, I think, to call this man a friend because he is a good person and reminds me a bit of Jesus.  But then a lot of people do on the road to Emmaus ^j^ 

people are crazy, and sometimes mean

Mamye and I were out doing our errands on this beautiful sunny Saturday with no wind.  I reckon the nice weather prompted everybody and their brother to hit the road and show their ass.  On Hwy 51 some fool in a large SUV was in such a hurry to get somewhere that he was weaving in and out of lanes about to cause a wreck.  When we pulled up at the light Mamye gave him "the look."  He replied with "What are you looking at??"  She said "You!"  I figured we would have a case of road rage coming on  but he turned off somewhere right past the light.  *sigh of relief*  One thing about getting older is that you don't give a crap and call people out.  Not the smartest thing to do, but....

Hippies is located in a corner of a very large lot where vendors set up and sell things like snow scoops and used bathing suits.  I kid you not.  Anywho, Casey has a big problem with access to her business on the days that all the flea market people are out and about.  The lot is full of cars parked every which a way and crowds of people.  This is good for business, but not when the shoppers park right smack in front of the business.  One grumpy old guy was pulling in next to us when I waved him away because I assumed he was another gawker.  He pulled up, we had a convo and I explained the parking situation for my friend.  He told me he was coming to get a cheeseburger but I pissed him off enough that he just drove off.  I apologized for the error but he wouldn't have it.  When I told Casey I ran off one of her customers she said "He'll be back" and laughed it off.  For the record, I seriously doubted the cheeseburger story.  If you don't have somebody riding shotgun when you go up in that place on a weekend, you're liable to hit a vehicle, table full of crap, or a person.  We had to ask two that were standing behind my car to please move.  I did manage to snag two old windows for 5 bucks just like the ones I used to sell for 10 or 15 while we were waiting for our food. Never managed to keep one for myself.

Mayberry and his crew came and went while I was gone so my yard is officially mowed for the first time this year.  Looks nice too!  I think I prematurely asked Bubba to cut off the gas logs because it was mighty chilly up in here this morning.  I went for a short walk just to warm up and now it's quite pleasant.  By end of day, I'll probably have the AC on.  West Tennessee spring for sure.

Y'all just don't be mean.  Consider the feelings of others and accept apologies when offered.  And don't be a fool on the highway.  You might just kill somebody's grandma ^j^

throwing chairs

I will be the first to admit that I didn't know Morgan Wallen from a hole in the ground until he acted out from that rooftop bar in Nashville.  Dude...that will kill your base in a heartbeat.  Drunken theatrics are not what people expect when they pay hundreds of dollars for a ticket.  Ask your grandma.  He's not the first and certainly won't be the last.  There is something about being a superstar that makes artists think they can do anything and get away with it.

Today was busy as usual.  I managed to get some flowers planted up front and I'm about done with all that. Just waiting to see what comes back from last year.  I could not find purple coneflower anywhere I went. 

I had a little taste of what it's like to be waterboarded when I fell in the shower last night.  I could just see the headlines : Old lady falls down and drowns in the shower.  I did manage to get up and in the bed but my ribs are super sore.  I think I need a shower chair.  

Y'all be peaceful and blessed.  My supper tonight is a plate from Hippies full of roast beef, carrots, mashed 'taters and cornbread.  Plus lemon cake.  You can't beat that with a stick ^j^

 

cleanin' out the in box

I got home unusually early from my daily rounds and I've been doing things like planning bills and emptying emails one page at a time.  631 of them at last count.  I used to be really good about staying on top of that life happens and you get a bit behind.  My girls and I spent a few hours together on Saturday and I treasure that time.  Reaves is wild and sassy, inquisitive and smart.  We have real conversations now between the two of us when she settles down enough to discuss life.  It dawned on me during yesterday's eclipse that the last one I saw was when Lauren was pregnant and Lorna and I went to Grubb's Grocery for free glasses and a peek at the solar madness.  We didn't last long in that crowd!

My paternal grandmother Lottie always had a coleus bed at her home on Pate Street.  I have never planted them but my friend Carol tempted me so I went to Stanfields and for four plus basil.  It is rainy today so I'll hold off on the planting until the front passes which will probably be Friday.  Strong storms ahead.  April showers bring May flowers and all that.  

Politically speaking, I keep hearing the same question over and over again.  "Are you better off than you were four years ago?"  IMHO the price of fuel has nothing to do with who is POTUS.  It is all controlled by oil producing companies and distributors who play with prices because they can.  Financially?  Yes I am better off because of COLA raises for SS.  Which many people call entitlements.  That is a total lie because I worked my ass off for 50 years to pay for that benefit plus Medicare.  I do not begrudge those who are using programs that are a safety net for the poor and underinsured.  There were the same such dilemmas back in Jesus' day but He did urge us to take care of the least of these.  Are there people who take advantage of that?  Of course.  Compare and contrast that to the tax cuts for the absurdly wealthy.  

One of the most rewarding things that I help with is packing bags of non-perishable food at our church that are distributed weekly.  I think about the fast food that I eat and imagine living on spam and saltines and beanie weenies.  Kind of makes you humble.  

Y'all be careful and humble and grateful.  It makes life so much more joyful ^j^

plan ahead

Both of my brothers are really good at that yet, me the one who went to college  is a simpleton.  I do not have common sense many times, especially when it comes to complicated things.  Like a fireplace or a TV.  Without this laptop and my phone I am lost.  The TV was a giant gift from some friends years ago.  It has served us well.  Thanks *grants*

I went to the funeral home today and learned more than I never knew about Jimmy Wheeler.  I only knew 2 or 3 but met 'em all.  I can't see so good in dark places anymore.  You know, the adjustment from bright to heaven.  I consoled his grandchildren and listened to their conversation chiming in with some like "And do you know where he is?"  Yes m'am with fingers pointed up. 

I am doing my best to make plans for my end of life so that my family won't have to deal with the details.  I promise to have the pictures ready for Kay and Chucky to create my final tribute.  Y'all.  I've pondered  on death for a lot of years.  As a child it scared me.  But as each elder passed I learned that we are promised heaven if we just believe ^j^

do you miss me yet?

I was parked at Tractor Supply the other day and noticed a pickup in front of me with Trump stickers, from Lake County.  Dude and his buddy hauled out a bunch of stuff including hay or wheat straw  from the back of a big truck.  What struck me was his Jesus Loves You t-shirt and so I pondered a but on the whole Republican bible thing.  I love the bible, like really big.  I learn a lot about it during SS and worship at FUMC in Dyersburg.  I am always a student.

Many of my friends have died in the past week.  If I make it to at least one visitation I'll be doing good.  My most important mission is to get Mayme and Steve up to Newbern on Thursday for Brother Wheeler/s service. Jimmy has been a constant in my life for many years. Unlike my cremation plans he will be all laid out in biker gear with an open casket.  His biker friends will form a caravan from Newbern to Fairview.  

I'm letting y'all know ahead of time that I don't want that.  At all.  My plans are for a visitation at Curry Funeral Home following cremation.  Graveside will be at the Carter Family Cemetery about a mile from my house.  When you get older, you think about these things.  Bubba already has  his stone down there but I am not good at planning ahead like that.  Gerald keeps that place up well with perennials.  BG and I went down there 20 years ago to explore and I fell down the hill and tore my left hamstring.  I couldn't sit for about three months and my left leg turned totally purple.  When i hit the ground I could not feel my feet.  BG scooped me up and took me to Mama's house.  The rest is history.

Everybody has a story like that and probably a hundred more.  We need to tell them before it's too late.  I hope that I live long enough to tell Lizzie a few more stories.  This Saturday may be my chance ^j^

good friday

As the story goes, we are approaching the hour when our Lord was hanging on a cross between two thieves and suffering mightily so that we may be forgiven for our sins.  And we all have plenty.  When I became an out of my head and into my heart Christian I ceased feeling guilty or shameful.  Grace is a gift for all who accept it.  

I have had a busy day beginning with PT followed by tech help from Ben to get the YouTube tv going and a visit from Scotty to repair my raised garden bed.  He's on the way back with it as we speak.  I feel so blessed to have friends to help an old girl out. That's what up.  Y'all be faithful and expect miracles ^j^

everybody has a story

I claim to be a writer and have done so for many years on my blogs.  I did a few pieces for the local newspaper and got some recognition.  I recently received a login to post there so you can check it out on their page as well.

There are so many writers who have made a mark on me in a mostly Southern way.  Clyde Edgerton is one of them.  My latest crush is Sean Dietrich.  He is so my kind of guy and has suddenly got thousands of shares a day.  And then, hackers stepped in and tried to mess with the whole thing.  Impostors!  Nobody can imitate this man's honesty and truth because he tells it like it was.  He was poor, had a sister and a mama that carried on after her husband committed suicide.  Yes Sean...I read every word including Becca and the dog and how much you love your wife.  The world needs more storytellers.

Yesterday was busy.  My SS class cleaned the sanctuary in preparation for Easter service.  I wasn't there long but did manage to dust all the doors at the sanctuary entrance.  Y'all know the Easter people want a pretty place to worship and check out new clothes.  Just kiddin'.  I also dusted the choir loft and remembered what it was like to be sitting up there singing with others and leading the congregation.  Back in the day we did "specials" that required practice but that is not the case now.  We have no choir director.  It's okay though.  The rest of the staff steps up and makes it happen.

I was outside planting some herbs and put my puff coat on.  As I dug through the pocket I found the backing from some foam stars that we decorated Reaves's paper plate.  It made me sad that I don't get to see her more but also appreciative that I am allowed to now and then.  She knows me, loves me and will never forget who her family are.  

I also miss Lauren as well.  She has no car so she can't come here to see me.  Plus, the doggos.  Gobo the husky has these giant blue eyes that always look like he witnessed a murder.  Which he did.  Dude was so happy to see me he scratched my arm.  No blood, just a bruise.  Ava just lays around all depressed like.  They are a handful but the neighbors help out when the kids get home from school.  It's a nice little neighborhood with the top end immaculate and the bottom end kind of sketchy.

Slowly but surely I am turning this home into something Mama would love.  She always had a lot of stuff but I'm a minimalist so most of glassware is on the table waiting to be put back up after I clean out the china cabinet.  That makes me tired just thinking about it.

Still no help on the YouTube TV deal.  I'm looking for a local geek who will do it because THEY know.  It was a huge jump for me just to get ROKU and Netflix.  I am thinking that Bubba and me can partner up on this is they allow slots for other people.  Netflix tried to trick this old gal into paying 8 bucks more for another profile.  I declined.

Y'all get ready for a foot washing tomorrow.  Even if you do it yourself, remember the Last Supper.  Love ya....mean it ^j^

hosanna

Y'all please bear with me while I babble about all of the miracles this weekend.  Yesterday I visited with my girls and was made to feel welcome at both homes.  I was driving in heavy wind and could feel the trusty Escape being pushed hither and yon on 412.  Needless to say it took longer than usual to commute against the wind.

Palm Sunday has been an eye opener for me.  Our SS class moved up onto the main hall where everybody else is and we were packed.  The vote was unanimous to make the move permanent.  The kids handed out palm branches and we all waved them in excitement as we went outside the building surrounded by choir and kids and everybody who could stand the cold.  As we re-entered the sanctuary the ones inside were still singin'  As my friend Miranda posted, a lot can happen in 7 day.  Holy week is special to me and I would love to find a place to attend services during the day.  Maybe with the Episcopalians.  

FUMC used to do a huge production called the Living Last Supper that was a whole lot of work by all involved.  Little details like Patti Lou wandering around with a basket of puppies put us in the right frame of mind to experience the Via Dolorosa.  I am late to experience Lent this year but this week I'm on board.

I have a new toy on trial.  There has been no live TV here since I moved in.  I refuse to pay the price for the high dolla' stuff but I'm doing a trial with YouTube TV.  We shall see. I have a week to cancel.

Rain is a coming, again.  Any pecans left out there will be buried treasures in the mud.  The fruit trees are leafing up and blooming and I do believe they have survived the cold snaps.  Let there be peaches and apples!

I am absolutely aching to get out and play in the dirt.  And, this too shall come ^j^

go big or go home

Today started with PT followed by breakfast with my bestie an errands with my other one.  It's Friday so I decided to splurge on supper from Moustos.  Mighty fine food and my fav is parmesan crusted chicken.  

Poopie is giving me some pain but thankfully I have supplies to take care of that until my next insurance order.  I ordered emergency supplies from some random place and they actually delivered at a reasonable price.  And early on delivery!

Plans are for me to go see the fam tomorrow over in Madison county.  Looks like no rain so maybe I can see to get there.  Traffic is usually light on the weekends, thank goodness.  I haven't seen them in about a month.

Palm Sunday is really special to me because, well you know the story.  Hosanna Lord and to the cross from the courts and the people.  They could have chosen anybody else to crucify but it was biblical.  I often wonder what I am doing as a disciple of Christ.

I do the next right thing which includes not taking advantage of folks who are trying to help me.  I don't judge and I certainly don't hate.  All that ate my soul up a long time ago.  Now I'm just chill and letting God unfold what He has planned for me.  *confessions of a control freak*

Remember who the fock you are ^j^

*short*

I drove my trusty ole' Camry for 20 years and they were not kind ones, especially during local flooding.  And we had a lot.  WE got a 2015 Ford Escape from Gene Langley three years ago that is paid for.  Insurance went up but that's to be expected.  About a third of those drivers out there don't have it.  That's when they run.  Unfortunately BG got slammed in Jackson several weeks ago and I'm telling you, that car is a hot mess.  TT is taking care of her.

For the first time in my life I had a screen that got synced to my phone at Gene Langley.  But now that screen is black and I miss it.  I visited my local home owned auto mechanic this week and will be back next week with questions about fuses and hard re-sets.  If he can fix this I'll buy him and wifey a steak dinner when I get paid.

I have little to no faith in big branding right now.  And what's all with this AI stuff?  I mean even the British are dealing with it and the tech involved with the results of our election process is sketchy.  Deepfake, so to speak.  If I don't see it in person or know enough to see both sides of an issue,  I remain neutral until my vote doesn't count.  I'm still praying for some insane young Independent to step up and represent in spite of party hate.  

I hear shooting.  Somebody is happy it's spring ^j^ 

"don't waste a good crisis"

Those words are not mine but those of the late Rev John Kilzer who died by suicide five years ago today.  He had struggled with addiction all of his life which included being an All American basketball star in Jackson who continued on a scholarship at Memphis State to become an English professor.  Being Memphian and a deep thinker, he began to write songs and do local gigs before signing with Geffen records in the late 70s.  Red Blue Jeans was my favorite.  I had the original vinyl and gave it to a high school classmate of his.  

Brother John created a ministry at St John's UMC in Memphis that served a large group of recovering addicts.  His wit and charm and music gave people hope and a reason to come back and start over.  He was a key player in starting a class at Memphis Theological Seminary for pastors who really didn't know how to help with substance abuse issues within a congregation.  After that, he began recording again with Archer which is where we became reconnected through my Friendship friends Cathy and her mother Ruth.  Sleepin' in the Rain still chills me to the bone.  "God loves them more than you'll ever know."  He relapsed and took his own life in rehab,  On March 12th during Lent.  

It's odd how we can all make a difference in someone's life just by being present and listening without judgement.  All these people who want to regulate morality and are dead set on exclusion are a big part of the problems in our world.  I believe in being honest and doing the next right thing.  Period.

My friends at the army picked me out the perfect lamp to go beside my bed, for five doll'a only.  It's the little things that count.  I so admire what they do every.single.day feeding the poor.  I'm not poor but if they have plates ready I will eat.  Fantastic cooks and "feed the hungry" folks.

Other than that, I got nothing but faith ^j^

hind sight is 20/20

I have received a diagnosis of dry macular degeneration meaning that I will more than likely lose my central vision at some point.  It is an inherited condition and it was passed onto me from my mother who was legally blind by her late 70s.  While I have always known that it was a possibility for me it was still something that shook my faith.  This diagnosis has made me most appreciative of all the beauty of spring knowing that someday I won't be able to enjoy the colors like I always have.  Sunrise and sunset.  Butterflies.  Beautiful cloud formations.  Faces of the people I love.  

I am dog sitting for my old pal Pearl.  Even though she hasn't seen me in a year, things have gone really well.  Except for the cat!  Pearl chased Rosie, Rosie hissed and hid and is keeping her distance.  It's only for three days so she will survive.  There will eventually be another dog here so the feline might as well get used to it.  Pearl hasn't much been around cats so I can understand. Rosie and Oscar had a mutual understanding.  I picked up Oscar's pawprint from the vet's office this week and it is on my desk where we spent lots of time with her sitting by my feet.  

It is National Women's Day and I couldn't be prouder to know so many strong women who are making changes in the world, one life at a time.  I have learned from being long time single that there are times when you really need a man to help with things.  I took that for granted when I was married.  

My new meds include AREDs for the rest of my life and Questran powder on a week long trial of samples.  The closest ostomy nurse to me is in Jackson and Poopie is a hot mess so I hope to get things evened out soon.  The only GI guy in town won't mess with them except to do a colonoscopy which, from a biopsy, showed lymphocytic granuloma.

Reaves went to her second daddy daughter dance last night and looked stunning, even more so with a gap toothed smile.  Lord, I love that kid and her spirit.  I hate that we are leaving her with the world in turmoil like it is but it is what it is.  Good parents will guide their kids through the ups and downs of life and teach them to study hard and express their emotions in a healthy way.  I tried my best with Lauren and she has only good memories.  

Speaking of LP, she now has two kidney stones left to pass and they're giving her hell.  The first two went through into the strainer but those other two are stubborn.  

Y'all be well, and keep the faith ^j^

a corporate healthcare tale

I worked as a medical technologist for 41 years.  My hire date with Parkview Hospital was August 7, 1977, three months after graduation from UTCHS in Memphis.  We were a family so to speak.  Lab people took call after 3PM and on weekends because, well.  There was no instant anything.  We did EKG and blood gases as well which was shortly turned over to the respiratory therapy department.  Our automated chemistry analyzer ran once a day and the rest was tube boiling and spectrophotometer plus some manual math. Gawd, it was rough but it was kinda' sorta' normal for a rural hospital in the late seventies.  

In the early 80s Methodist Health Systems and Baptist were in a pissing match to buy up the feeders all along Highway 51.  Methodist paid 10M over market price and the county government took the highest offer.  MHS also bought six other rural West TN facilities at the same time.  The majority of employees and physicians supported a Baptist sale but we were not heard, even after we all showed up at the courthouse for the hearing.  Money talks.  Supposedly the proceeds from the sale were put in reserve for indigent care.  I am currently searching to see what happened to that money.

Eventually the "vision" of MHS changed from rural healthcare to a partnership with UT Memphis for transplant services.  That was when they sold ALL of us to Community Health Systems.  CHS was on a roll then buying up little places and they were doing well until a big merger with HMA.  Stock dropped from sixty bucks to the current 2 and some change.  The merger involved a lot of money posted by a hedge fund.  Right after I retired the facility and all practices were bought by West Tennessee Healthcare.  A feeder for Jackson, so to speak.

Union City is still a Baptist facility, the only surviving one outside of the Memphis metro area.  It is about the same distance as driving to Jackson for what that's worth.  As for me, I just want to be treated well by people who care.  My PCP is amazing and very overworked.  Says he can't afford to retire.  I know the feeling buddy.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it ^j^

the morning after

Following yesterday morning's "wake up and fall" I headed into PT to concentrate on the left side of my body which is where I hit on elbow and knee before rolling over and popping my hard head on the bedframe.  My head now has a knot on it and is sore but I'm pretty good with pain.  Felicia gave me some TLC on the left side that included pulsing electrodes and moist heat at the same time.  Most of their attention has been on my right side because that is what first brought me there.  I feel pretty sure that was the result of being hit by an 18 wheeler several months ago.  But enough about that.

Now Texas is on fire and I'm sure the Republicans are blaming Biden and the immigrants.  In my honest opinion it is just another tragedy caused by global warming.  Yes, it is real.  And yes, we are in big trouble because nobody listened when there was a chance to turn it around.  Al Gore's book "An Inconvenient Truth" was written many years ago and still applies to what we are seeing.  Floods, fires, natural disasters of all kinds.  God gave us this earth to preserve and enjoy and we have almost literally destroyed it.  How sad.

Now onto the guns.  Y'all know how I feel about all that.  I believe in the right to carry for self protection which does NOT include long guns like the one used at Joel O'Steen's church which was purchased legally. In Texas, of course.  Why?  I keep asking myself over and over again why these guns are available.  There is no use for them except for law enforcement or military action.  NONE.  Except for committing mass murder.  Put yourself in the shoes of parents whose kids have been slaughtered at school or other public places.  We assume them to be safe yet here comes another nutcase hearing voices aiming a repeating weapon at innocent people.  Enough is enough.  We don't want to take your guns away, just hold you accountable by doing background checks, requiring proper training, and licensing.  That ain't much to ask.

I miss my kids badly.  There is a part of me that wants to move to Jackson just so I can see them on a regular basis.  I love country life as well.  Lizzie will be graduating from kindergarten this spring and going into "real school."  She is smart as a whip and very artistic.  Loves to dance and jump and run.  Confused as hell about her family situation.  

We had some fierce scary wind these past few days and a huge thunderstorm during the night which woke me up.  They never scare me for some reason.  Actually I see God in things like that and am in awe of how powerful the weather can be.  Following a high of almost 80 yesterday it's in the 40s again.  Typical West Tennessee.  

Y'all be humble and grateful and remember from whence you came ^j^

before the fall

There was no pride.  I was just out of sleep and walked to the bathroom.  On the way back i fell on my LEFT side which will give Krystle or somebody a project in the morning when I show up.  I don't know where it hurts yet, ya' know?  Reba gave me a big ass bandage to put on my elbow and the leg is good.  Just a lil

 skin scrape with no blood.  I got lucky, again. I have always been clumsy like "walk into a doorframe" clumsy.  I seriously need a keeper at this point.  I am keepin' on right now because that is all I know to do.  help.pray.hug.love ^j^

walking on water

Today's sermon was about Peter attempting to walk on water after Jesus said "come here" to him .  He asked him to trust in the one who had performed countless miracles in front of him so Peter stepped out of boat but got scared and doubtful.  That is what made him start to sink.  Poor guy still didn't believe in spite of all he had seen.  I can identify with that ya' know?  I myself am a living breathing miracle after several near death experiences yet I still doubt at times.  One of my favorite quotes lately is "Fear is what if.  Faith is even if."  One of my friends asked me recently why good people suffer and I had no answer for that.  Those of us who try and give and help the least of these often suffer devastating life events.  I don't think that freedom from problems is something that you earn from being good.  Tragedy does not make judgement on character.  It just is what it is.  

One of the most chilling stories that I have read lately was about a little girl who trusted a family friend to take her to the bus stop.  He murdered this child by blunt force trauma and threw her body in the river weighted down with a rock and rope.  This child trusted the guy.  He was part of her daily life and lived on the family property.  He had taken her to the bus stop many times before.  What went wrong?  Only God knows where evil lies.  

Anywho...it's warming up here but still windy as heck.  I am hopeful that the propane I have left will last me until it's full on  warm weather.  That is my rambling for today.  God bless you and your mama'n'them ^j^

life as we know it

I made a run to Jackson today and visited with the fam but it was short because Poopie has been acting up.  I hear there's a bug going around so maybe that's it.  No nausea or anything, just explosive shits in a bag.  That burns pretty bad.  I have had three shit pills and two cheese sticks today.  My gut is NOT good.

Lizzie has a front tooth missing that she pulled out all on her own.  Her room is cute and I pray that she will sleep in there!  We went outside and picked tiny flowers while we visited.  That pool looks really inviting come June.  She has a brother and two mamas plus one daddy.  It's kinda' complicated, if you know what I mean.  I just do what I need to do to see her.  She still remembers me.

A couple of years ago we planted a shit ton of tulips in the raised bed that is no more.  Mayberry mowed 'em just tall enough that they are coming back up.  There will be pictures along with the buttercups.  It's spring y'all.

Peace and love ^j^

hippies

I met my dear friend Casey Lou through Mamye.  She cooks her little ass off in the Pepsi Pavilion close to Four Points and it is always great.  There's a flea market going on next door for the next three days so she's going in at 4AM to prep for the crowd.  Today's lunch special was roast with taters, carrots, corn and cornbread.  Plus carrot cake and a drink..  You can't beat that with a stick.  Normally I pick up something and save it fr supper, or "lupper" as it is often called.  I can't eat big all at one time anymore because of you know what.  Gotta' space that shit out, so to speak.  

My entire body is aching due to this incoming front.  I'll be returning to Dynamix tomorrow and again 3 times next week.  It is money well spent for my well being and peace of mind.  During treatment the practitioners chat with me and ask where it hurts.  Then the probing begins and chat changes to "there?  no, there??"  My team has me covered and the sessions often go long which I like.  I'm a sucker for extra attention My friend Carol has actually sent me some Hokas fo' free which I truly appreciate  I think that most of my leg and back problems are related to poor arch support.  

I hope all y'all are able to reach your loved ones on the day that all the towers went dead.  I was able to call and receive as usual.  Me and Reba had a long chat and then me and Mamye got out for a bit.  We cussed every single driver who didn't have the lights on today.  It's so simple, ya know?  Use your blinkers and slow down.  Ain't nothing worth getting killed over even if you're late for work.

I remember one morning during a spring flood when I lived on the hill.  I was due at 6am and headed down the lane to a pile of water which I didn't really know that I could make it through.  In the dark.  I called my boss who wasn't happy and told her I would be there when it was daylight.  And I was.  That poor Camry navigated so much flood water it ain't even funny.

Mozella's house is still on fire, with Keith tending the flames.  I am happy to see it go in spite of all the memories.  As it turns out my stray cat is living down the road from Charlie's house and getting fed and watered.  And it's a girl!  We gotta' come up with a name for that kitty.

May the peace and grace of Christ be with you ^j^

off the grid

I don't know y'all is it just me or what?  It seems like a decade of Mercury in retrograde or some such.  I need to sage this house and start over one.more.time.  I know that there are ghosts in the attic and all over the place but I reckon they watch over me every day.  That's a good thing.

Today was a busy one involving visits with friends.  My mission today was to find a flyswatter and I achieved that.  Me and Reba may just smack that thing to death.  Lunch was at Patsye's cottage in Finley.  That little place is cute as heck and only about a curvy mile from the homeplace.  I swear to you, there is an egg sign in the front yard on the way.  Three bucks a dozen.

We talked a lot about memories and how we got from there to here.  Patsye's food was great and I do believe that cornbread crustini will be in the Back Burner sometime soon.  I was pretty glad to be visiting there instead of working down yonder.

It's so quiet out here that I can hear the birds singing their own songs.  Doves are soothing.  The rest of them just chirp because they're happy for the food.  I haven't fed them this winter except for a few crackers now and then during the snow.  But yet?  They keep on coming back.  That is faith ^j^

going green

It's been loud out here for a couple of hours with a plane flying low over the farm spreading fertilizer on the wheat. It already looks great and will probably make my grass grow too.  Oh yay!  I have checks ready for all the people that I owe and Mayberry is one of them.  So is Butch.  And Pierce.  and ummm.

I sold about a thousand bucks worth of Pampered Chef and thanks to all who ordered.  I have a wish list of things that I would like to get with my part of total sales.  I was about to have a beard so I went to Headlines to see that crew and Nina waxed my face smooth as a baby's butt.  It was good to see all of 'em. There hasn't been much money in the budget for beautification, if you know what I mean.  

Life is hard, according to Scott Peck.  Every little hour and day and week of it presents new challenges.  I was told yesterday that my eyesight, though not terrible, is on the downhill side.  So are my kidneys.  I had a long session today at Dynamix with my favorites and feel much better.  Their client base grows by word of mouth because of their techniques which are not the usual PT.  As long as I have 20 bucks I'll keep going back.

Tomorrow is food pantry day and I may be sore but I'll work through it.  My partner and I can fill enough bags for the week in about an hour.  Then, onto other adventures. Two of my fellow church members are on a mission trip in Honduras.  When you look at the grand scheme of things and how fortunate we are, it's a wakeup call to help the least of these get electricity and water.

I have never been a Joel Osteen fan but I hate that another person with a gun went nuts and hurt others.  Same for Kansas City.  If we put all of our efforts toward responsible gun ownership instead of getting into the business of other countries, it might make a difference and save someone's life.  Like kids and innocent by-standers.  

I am such a little fixer of things like my mother.  Secrets were hidden from me until I was way into adulthood and those things shaped my life.  I knew bits and pieces but now they all fit together.  With age, comes wisdom.  Sometimes.

I scored zero on festivity at Dynamix today but some of them wore heart sweaters and hoodies.  That made me happy and reminded me that it is, indeed, the day of love.  My parents are celebrating their heavenly anniversary.  

All is well ^j^

doppelganger

We have a local mail carrier in the city who looks JUST like Keith Urban.  When I was leaving a friend's house today he was walking up to put her mail in the box and I hollered out "I guess nobody has ever told you who you look like!"  He chuckled and said "Yeah, I get that all the time.  Cutie patootie.

I was without a laptop all weekend and thought I would go stir crazy.  Since I have no "real" TV and the phone is way little I depend on this laptop for all things.  I visited my local optometrist today, knowing that my vision was getting worse.  He told me that I have some macular degeneration and referred me to a specialist in Jackson.  I don't know if it's hereditary but my mother was legally blind when she died from the degeneration.  He called it geographic degeneration whatever that means.  He said that there are several new drugs on the market to treat the disorder but that means they will be expensive.  Lerd.

Believe it or not, I still had pecans hitting the roof yesterday during the wind and rain.  I'll give them a few days to dry out and finish up for this season.  It's been a long one that started in October.  My friend who has an orchard in Lake County told me that she had lost about 2000 pounds to poachers this season.  When I last dropped off a load to sell, there was a guy on a bicycle in front of me who didn't have much.  Evidently he made enough for some liquor because I saw him cruise up to the store on his bike.  

The rose that Mamye got me is still not completely open and sits in my great grandmother's etched vase on the desk.  I am weary and worried about a lot of things and honestly don't know who to believe anymore.  I do know that something is out of whack with the universe because everybody is going through some drama.  And it ain't even a full moon.

I hope that you all get some love and appreciation for V Day even if it's just a verbal "I love you."  Poopie is acting up again and that will be a never ending saga.  I ran out of wax rings that protect my stoma so I'm waiting for Amazon to deliver those.  

Be safe.  Keep the faith.  And always remember who you are ^j^

hackers suck

There will be no more blogging until I get my laptop cleaned.  My PayPal account has been compromised and a lot of other things.  It's sort of hard to find somebody reliable to do a clean but this laptop is good and worth saving.  My bank's fraud department has been notified about all of these issues and if I can find somebody to do the clean, I can retain online banking.  This happened to me exactly one year ago when I was trying to recover Facebook.  Live and learn girl.  This kind of mayhem makes me want to just live on cash.

I met my friend Mary today and we talked about everything and anything while sharing a table at Green Frog.  Miss Reba's granddaughter is getting married tomorrow so we have to get her spruced up for a facetime attendance.  That will be after an early PT appointment at Dynamix.  Ironically, I missed my appointment with the ortho group today because I'm so disorganized.  She told me if the PT was working not to come back so there ya' go.  They are doiong wonders with this tired old body.  

Mamye and I did her rounds today and she bought me lunch from Hippies.  Casey Lou always has good club sammies and I asked for mine on untoasted bread.  Much better!  No lettuce or tomato...just meat.  

I will see y'all on the other side of this, no matter what.  And honestly?  I can do what I need to do on my phone.  And watch Netflix or read a book.  Much less stressful.  Y'all keep the faith ^j^

under construction

 I've been pretty silent lately which is not like me.  I remember one time that my friend Chuck in Washington told me that I was a consistent blogger.  Ya' think?  Not so much lately.  I tend to write more when times are hard and right now I'm feeling blessed.  I have a home and a cat, and a car and food.  Many people would think that this is paradise.  And to me?  It is.

I've gone full circle since I moved into this cabin in 1956.  Somehow it took us a year to get out here but I was a newborn so I don't remember.  Most of my memories are of growing up on this farm and all that was involved with that.  Daddy always did a garden (huge) and Mama processed all of it by hook or crook.  We always ate good,  Daddy had cattle so there was the usual  hay drop off for those heifers and their babies.  One time my ex got caught by one of 'em and pinned in by the gate at pregnancy check time.   He never helped again...LOL.

There were horses, one named Thunderbolt.  He lived at the barn just right past my house.  When I was on the hill, there were two.  Poor Pride froze to death behind the barn and is buried there.  I ran into Gerald Brandon at breakfast yesterday and asked about his 80th birthday party.  He is now our Samaria Bend elder and has been for some time since Mozella passed.  The rest of us will just have to keep the memories alive by word of mouth and pictures.

My most fav photo of all time is of this very cabin during the gravel road time in sepia tones.  It was taken on the western side of Samaria Bend from the road.  I'll have to find that one.

Y'all be blessed ^j^

it is over (almost)

Patty and I have worked for about 3 months hard to harvest all the pecans that have fallen from Daddy's trees.  O.M.G.  what a bounty.  I'm taking them to sell on Monday and will lift a bag.  If they want 'em, help an old lady out.

Meanwhile, mowing season is almost upon us so I need to pay Mayberry so he will continue to mow this acre.  And Butch is on the top of the list also.  It's so warm I have plenty of gas for the logs.  I don't believe the central unit has kicked on in a week or more.  I open the doors a lot.  Propane stinks!

The peepers are all alive in February fashion.  That's when I know that spring is on the way.  In March, but don't plant before Good Friday.  There WiLL be a freeze.  It got my peach tree last year but those apples just kept on coming.  Y'all be blessed.  My friend Casey's mama died and there is a fish fry up at Mel's Diner to help cover expense.  Ten bucks for a fish plate ain't a bad deal.

I pray for all of us, all the time.  Keeping the faith ^j^

frankie

I had the privilege of working with a lot of kick ass nurses back in the day.  Frankie Carrol was one of them.  He left Dyersburg for greener pastures in Memphis and died several years ago.  His sister Molly had t-shirts made and I bought a couple just because.  All proceeds went to his treatment. Since it has warmed up I am sleeping in a short sleeve shirt at night and Frankie's was the one I slept in yesterday evening.  I go to bed early and don't get out at night thus, I am up at sunrise.

I rolled the front yard today and got a lot of pecans but there are MORE.  Daddy and God blessed us with all that so I won't give up.  Maybe I can make enough to pay Mayberry off before mowing season.  This is a big yard with a lot of limbs but I pick 'em up as they fall and the weather is good.  He hates to get his mower tore up with sticks. 

I don't read a lot of other people's stuff because I'm a writer.  I have to tell you that Sean of the South

 has my heart with his blog.  He tells stories much better than me and I always end up going "hell to the yes!"  It is everyday life stuff, memories if you will.  But also an intricate story of all of his relationships.  Like with Becca.  Lots of people send him messages everyday titled Dear Sean.   He has a wife and blind dog and blind child in no particular order.  Dog's name is Magnolia and little girl is Becca. Dude reminds me of Clyde Edgerton.  Pure southern charm with a bit of gritty truth.

I rolled a shit ton of pecans today and pecan season is almost over.  I never thought it would last this long but, here we go.  Rolling rolling rolling! Y'all be faithful and for God's sake....don't pass in the turn lane.  Jesus don't like that ^j^

road rage

I have witnessed two events this past week where people were on a mission to raise hell with another driver.  The first one was somebody in a black truck on my ass on Forrest Street as I was turning left onto 51 S.  When the light changed, I turned and he continued to be on my bumper.  I could not see the right lane because he was obstructing my view.  He followed closely for about 100 yards and then passed me in the turning lane going about 80.  Loud truck and reckless driving.  And then a couple of days ago I was coming out of Los Lomas and walked into a full fledged verbal fight in the parking lot.  Evidently somebody got mad because they didn't yield over there by Save A Lot and almost got hit.  These idiots followed the other driver up to the restaurant and proceeded to start a shouting match.  I just stood there like "wtf" and so did my friends on the backside of it.  Danny's eyes met mine and we just stood still until both cars left.  It was obvious to me that car number 2 followed car 1 to vent.  Lerd, it was ugly!  

I have to admit that I was very pissed off when the black truck did his thing.  But I was also scared.  I am a cautious driver who uses blinkers faithfully following my eighteen wheeler wreck.  Hopefully I can afford the co-pay to continue PT "as ordered."  They are working on my entire right side which is what hurts from the neck down.  My arthritic joints won't pop so  there ya' go.  Osteoarthritis ain't no joke.  According to my rays there is significant damage to multiple spinal spaces.  How nice!

Me and Carol ate at Piggin' Out in the rain again.  We were there before the doors opened and Wade was eating something and off for the weekend.  They have great food and service.  I bought my friend Darryl a t-shirt there that I'm sure he will treasure.  All those people in Florida will be like "where is Dyersburg anyway?"  Northwest Tennessee y'all.  Come see us.  We have Reelfoot Lake and the mighty Mississippi all the way down the western half, dividing us from Missouri and Arkansas. 

Once upon a time I was a shuttle driver for Quapaw Canoe based in Clarksdale, MS.  I got lost a lot on those trips to put in and take out but I learned a lot about the Big Muddy.  John Ruskey and Mike Clark did a re-creation of the Lewis and Clark expedition at DSCC and I saw the story in our local paper.  From that came an honest friendship over the years with river lovers everywhere.  Brian Waldrop.  Bernie Arnold. Jim Jayroe.  Bubba Stafford. Joey Pritchett. This farm is surrounded by the mighty Forked Deer which causes problems at times when it gets muddy, but for the most part is a nature preserve.  Me and Reba watched a show about those little puffer birds today and I learned something new.  Also that she ate breakfast with Elvis and was good friends with Carl Mann.  Go figure.

Y'all be safe and stay inside with your animals.  Keep the faith ^j^  

the list

It is on a legal pad on the mess that I call a desk.  The names change daily and as I look at it I remember all those who are praying for me and mine.  As Christians, that's all we have been taught.  Oh, we know the evils of greed and control only as something that is normal...I mean hey.  America's got us right?  

Many times I think not.  There is a raging hissy fit going on about bi-partisan support for immigration upgrades.  Obviously, the fence didn't work.  Haley can take him if she steps up her game with people who tend toward moderate GOP policy.  It ain't rocket science, nope there is Elon the king of the whole world. Well, and also Putin and the Ukraine leader.  And that short fat little thing over in NK.  They all inherited their places in government.  Always remember, consider the other side and meet in the middle in the very most intention to "do no harm."

If you travel back in history, a bunch of Europeans migrated here up there in New York on boats and stuff.  I am part British (Stafford) and part French (Agee).  Thanks for showing me my roots y'all!  The last I remember it all started in Blue Mountain Mississippi.  By the way, they had music school attended by the late Charlene Fisher.  I remember one family reunion down there at somebody's house and us kids running around like the lil' children that we were.  There was fried chicken plus 30 sides and pie like you wouldn't believe.

I remember screen doors slamming and lots of catching up.  That doesn't much happen anymore.  My family is scattered but we have a history together that weaves a story which we all share.  I want Reaves to know about those stories and her history.  With all of my heart ^j^

holier than thou

Today is the 7th anniversary of my mama's death and I miss her like crazy still.  She was my go to in a house full of males.  She had been in hospital hospice for about two days before her death.  I was still working there at the time.  It snowed the day before she died, like really hard and icy. My youngest brother Tommy was with her because I called and he drove a long way to be here.  LP spent the last day sleeping beside her after her night shift at the nursing home.  The funeral was cold and slippery at the graveyard.  God bless all those pall bearers and Curry Funeral Home.  This was only five months after Daddy had passed and she moved into assisted living.  Following 2 hip surgeries that she sailed through, she developed diverticulitis which would have required yet another surgery.  My buddy Jimbo told me that it wasn't an option....she would not survive.  So we made a family decision to give her dignity at the end of life.  She did not suffer after that and was quite alert until the end when Tommy saw her raise a hand toward heaven and to Daddy.  Another piece of my heart went with her. The irony of it is that several years later I ended up almost dying from diverticulitis.  I remember watching the sunrise from my window at Baptist East and telling her "hey mama."  I knew that she would always be with me at that moment.  She is watching Reaves grow  from heaven and sending down prayers for resolution.  

Humility is something that I am very good at most of the time.  When i start getting prideful and controlling God smacks me in the face with messages of grace and love and healing.  I ask for the help but I am guilty of like "praying on the spot"  when a crisis develops.  

My immediate family is in crisis right now and I ask for prayer ^j^

giving up

There have been so many times that I just felt like giving up and letting other people abuse me mentally.  I won't go into detail but umm...you can look back in the archives when you got a week or two to kill.  The toxic relationships that brought me to therapy at 32 were mild by some standards.  But they were real to me and Bev kicked my ass for two  years exploring why I wanted to be such a "good girl".  It's how I was raised y'all.  I had my moments as a teenager but turned out pretty good.  The UMC has been central in supporting my faith journey through the years and that's worth more than gold.  

There is a part of me that has NEVER given up but then another part that fails to launch.  Poops is sort of stuck in the middle  there trying to enjoy life.  Physical therapy at Dynamix has been a great experience because it's full body.  What once was sore is shifting to the other side and kind of evening things out.  Felicia told me about these cool electrolyte packets that Gay had introduced me to.  It reminded me to stay hydrated which means not just tap water.  

The snow is still hanging around waiting for another one.  This week is all rain but warmer.  Those pecans are out there drying in the sun so I reckon they need to be picked up ^j^

enough already

It happens every year.  Kids are back in school after Christmas break wintry stuff moves in.  We had a decent snow with no ice and were JUST about thawed out when, here comes ice and more single digits.  My propane guy said he has 317 people on his list with me being one of them.  His supplier is not delivering to him thus, he can't deliver to us.  In his words "I don't know what we're gonna' do."  Trucks are not running to stores so I'm glad I have bread, milk and toilet paper.  The older and more arthritic I get the more I understand why Daddy hated winter.  

Lauren and Reaves broke the Elf on a Shelf mold this year and instead had a gnome who acts up.  He made a mess last night and Reaves decided that today is his birthday so they are making a cake for the occasion.  He is now officially the Valentine's day gnome.  

We are soooo not prepared in the South for this type of weather.  I remember back in the day they used to spread cinders which worked quite well.  I don't know happened to that practice but this salt spraying thing just doesn't get it done.  Today's prediction is ice, dangerous for driving and known to drop power lines.  I made an early run to town and it was already freezing drizzle.  

My friend is a breast cancer survivor and has chosen to go the CBD route which  is quite effective in her case.  For the life of me I cannot understand why it is illegal in so many states.  Tennessee is surrounded by states where THC is legal for both medicinal and recreational use.  Good Lord.  It's a plant and could increase tax revenue for those who have the foresight to get on the bandwagon.  Gambling is much more addictive than pot and it's legal here through the lottery.  Go figure.  I'm too cheap to do scratch off so I'll buy a 2 dolla' Powerball when it gets pretty high.  I see people sitting in their cars scratching off their cards and then going back in for more  Lerd, give me 5 bucks and I give you 10.  The industry has, however, funded a lot of scholarships for those in need.  That started the year after my daughter could benefit from it so she took out a student loan to get a BSW.  Worked third shift and commuted to UTM all week.  And there were few jobs, mostly in for-profit mental healthcare..It ain't pretty with a caseload like that.

After she had worked with PCS for almost a year, she came upon a wreck on Hwy 51 close to Trimble.  She was the only one around so she checked the pulse of this woman and stayed with her until EMS arrived.   She was about to be married and her pictures were strewn all over the place.  I have never heard such wailing as I heard from my baby that night.  The lady's friends were all so appreciative to know how it was for her when she died.  Angel work.  Keep the faith ^j^

snow day musings

Well y'all. Winter is officially here there and everywhere.  I feel very fortunate to have only gotten about 2 inches with the bulk of it going south.  Bubba has been here three times to work on my gas logs so I'm inching my way up to near 65 with two heaters going to help chase the chill.  This will be a very long week. Just saying.

It's only 11am and feels like it should be six pm.  The world sort of stops turning in our parts when the weather is bad because it only happens a couple of times a year.  My projects for the day are A. Match up socks and B. move the office away from the north windows to an inner wall.  That should give me plenty to do when I can't go anywhere.  I'ma gonna' put Kondo on Casa Poopie.

I pray that you all stay safe and warm.  For many years I had to show up at the hospital come flood or blizzard.  One year my boss's husband picked us all up in his truck and took us back home.  Yes, we are that important.  Healthcare practitioners don't ever get a snow day.  That's what "on call" beds are for.

Keep the faith ^j^

happy stomaversary

Poopie is officially four years old today and I'm still alive.  The closest call since then was when the 18 wheeler hit me in just the right place to cause a month of stress.  I don't remember much about either event except for the loud horn before the crash.  The entire day that I was in Dyersburg ER, I remember nothing.  Next thing I knew I was at Baptist East in ICU with Asian death wailing next door.  I remember the extubation and trying to talk before that.  They had to hit this old gal with Propofol to settle me down.  

As with any chronic condition, unless you have lived it you just don't get it.  My insurance pays for physical therapy and my lower back and right hip need it.  She did dry needling and a whole bunch of hands on pulls and pushes.  When I mentioned to her that I had experienced MFR treatments in the past she was tickled to death that I knew what fascia is.  Said deer hunters get it more than anybody because when they skin 'em...you know.  There's that stubborn fascia to be cut off!  I want to personally thank Gay for teaching me about the healing arts.  

I'm still running the pecan roller because I refuse to let the last of the crop go to the squirrels..they have already had their share.  Poops is kind of lost right now, which is okay.  We all have those times when we need a friend or ten.  Mamye and I stopped by Hippies at the Pavilion to see Casey Lou and we all about cried.  What a sweetheart.

I hope you get enough snow to make a tiny person and dress it up.  Just enough for a snow angel before the birds track it up.  Back when I had three dogs there was yellow snow everywhere.

Y'all be safe and faithful.  And always remember who you are ^j^

the power of love

I noticed a nice big expensive fence behind the building that was recently bought by former members of DFUMC.  Those of us who stayed are having a great time carrying on. but there are no fences.  A lot of our ministry is to the least of these, like those who have no food.  Medicaid and SNAP both went heads down.  And our POTUS is taking the blame as are all democrats and progressives.

For the life of me, I cannot understand greed.  If I have enough and a little extra?  I tip.  Not as good as Mamye but......I've been rolling the yard all day trying to get the crop into the house.  I didn't get 'em all but made a valiant effort.  Headed back out there.  Faith is what keeps us going ^j^

train

The low long whistle just ended on the nearby railway.  It's not enough to shake the house but you can hear that lonely sound for miles.  Usually around now.  My friend Joe introduced me to the music of Train and I immediately fell in love.  With him and that group.  He really wasn't into me so that didn't work out but he did get married to a lady who cared for him very much.  I am friends with his daughter and she has lost both parents in a short period.  I can relate girl.

I know a guy whose parents died on the SAME DAY which I think is pretty cool.  One big funeral and lots of leftovers.  I don't care who you are, those sides are to die for.  My Mom was the casserole queen.  One of my favorites was a green pea and ham recipe with, of course, cream soup.  We always had something tasty and her beef and tomato sauce rice thing was a classic.  I remember these things now because I miss her and I like to cook.  I sub with healthier versions of things most of the time.  

New cat has become a bit more friendly by coming on the porch and playing with Rosie.  One of 'em killed a bird on the back porch and left the guts and feathers for Mom.  Thanks y'all.

It's cold but manageable.  I can't imagine being in the deep snow spots like my friend Pax in Jersey.  We had i inches out here on Samaria Bend one night and I attempted to drive through it in a Camry.  Daddy rescued me with a tractor.  He was cool like that.  

BG has recovered from the concussion and it's a miracle.  I've had a few in my life and it ain't fun.  I remember when she was four and Noler had a fishing boat and trailer in the yard on Tickle.  She was crawling around, fell and ended up with a big head wound.  Fortunately we were about one block from the hospital.  She bled and bled and my paramedic friend Terry D Nash pressed a stack of 4x4s to stop the bleeding.  The surgeon on call stitched it up.  She turned out fine.  She and the tribe may visit tomorrow.  All is well on the farm ^j^

slow down

I am clumsy to the max, meaning I can trip over my own feet.  I also tend to be always in a hurry, Lord knows why.  I try to be organized but sadly missed a very important chance to pay respects to some dear friends this week.  I had written the date down wrong on my Norman Rockwell planner..  I now make daily lists in a little journal just to guide me from point A to point B of my life.  Lauren is about as clumsy as me and again, always rushing.  She fell on the concrete at home yesterday and ended up in the ER with a concussion.  Lerd.

My two day saga with Byrum Healthcare is still unresolved.  We made a payment plan yesterday after I paid 30%.  At the end of the day, I found that the entire balance had been charged to my card leaving me with 1.47.  Funeral insurance came out today leaving me in the hole.  I called.  We talked and some very nice sounding young lady promised to mark it as "urgent" and send it on up the food chain.  Not a peep from them, but my friends did get me out of the hole.  I know it's just business and it's cut throat but really?  I tried to make it right and you screwed me.  I got a text that my order is on the way and the FedEx number is not trackable.  I'm good for about a week on supplies.

Mamye and I ate Chinese today and I "forgot" that egg rolls have cabbage in them.  So far so good with Poopie.  I have really enjoyed our daily outings as we run errands and compare drama.  Me and Ms Reba also have quality time every day.  These relationships keep me focused on things other than what I would otherwise doing, like scrolling FB.  

I despise winter and I never used to be like that.  I reckon it's the old lady coming out in me.  But hey, I also hate the dead of summer too.  I'm picky like that.  Give me a 75/55 day with sunny skies and I'm a happy girl.  

Y'all keep the faith ^j^  

i could rant, but i won't

I will just tell you who pissed me off today and I don't get mad easily.  

Byram Healthcare,  I have been a customer for four years.  I have about a week's worth of supplies and your company has obviously been cutting staff to where a customer cannot speak to someone about a payment plan.  Looks like I will be changing companies.

Asshole who laid on the horn when I was turning left off of Highway 78 onto 51 N.  I was not in your lane.  You are rude and a danger to society.  Same for the white car that parks on the road every weekend.  There is plenty of parking space up in that driveway.  Get a grip.

United States voters,  we have two very poor choices.  I will pick the least dangerous.  It has only been in the last ten years that i understand gerrymandering and whatnot.  Shame on us.

For profit healthcare:  You suck.  I worked for a non-profit for about 30 years and when they sold out to CHS it all went to hell in a handbasket.  Same with HCA.  People are getting sub-par care and paying out the ass.  The bills pile up and people code things wrong ending up with a huge balance.  Know your tribe when it comes to that.

War?  What is it good for.  Absolutely nothing, say it again.  I have never understood military action over things that are not defined.  My father served as an Air Force supply guy during the Korean conflict in the 50s yet he didn't understand my hatred for Vietnam, Desert Storm and Iraq.  It was not our business, nor is it now.  Let Ukraine and Russia duke it out.  Same for Gaza.  We, as a country, cannot save the world.  We have enough problems of our own.

It's all big fish eating little ones at this point.  That makes big money for some folks and God bless 'em.  If only things were equal for everybody it would be a better world.  Sorry for the rant.  Poops is in a mood ^j^

the coming year

Time keeps marching on and by golly it is now 2024.  I threw away last year's calendars and planners and starting fresh with nothing but a Norman Rockwell drug store freebie.  That's okay.  My plans change so much I need a big one to write on.  A very dear friend of mine passed away a couple of days ago and I sobbed like a baby.  I met Marilyn through her kids and work and church.  She was quite organized and busy most of the time that we spent together.  Her granddaughter Melissa and BG were inseparable for about two years when the family first moved here.   Marilyn was always charming and playful during our times together.  I was so honored to be invited to her 90th birthday party earlier this year.  I worked with several of them in the healthcare sector so we had that in common.  

I am missing the sound of doggie feet on the hardwood here but am hesitant to get another forever one.  Fostering seems to be the way to go.  I want an Oscar sized short hair dog of any mix or make. preferably black and tan with a bit of white.  No beagles because, no fenced in yard.  I'm'a gonna' sit on this one until Lent and let the Lord work it out.  

All you vegans in Jackson go see Lauren at Little Bird.  They have mocktails too!  She has the skill set to be a valuable team member.  BTW, I had to ask what a "mocktail" is.  I love hummus so this would probably be good eats for me.

A recap of my 2023 would include becoming a published writer and learning how easy it is to burn yourself while serving soup.  That tiny chapter taught me a lot about how teamwork is important for success.  From there I went to caregiving/personal shopper and the rest is history.  I love it but it comes with a hefty emotional price.  

I made the terrible mistake of calling KK right as the Citrus Bowl was coming on.  OMG.  Talk later girl.  I barely keep up during regular season.  One of my favorite New Year's Day memories is of going to the Bruce's house.  The food was magnificent and after that's when all of us teenagers headed for another room to hang out.  Tim Bruce.  Dennis Burns.  Larry Thurmon. etc.....

There is something magical about starting all over fresh.  The past one has been difficult in many respects for a lot of people around the globe.  My prayer is that the good Lord will knock some sense into us and save the planet.  If not, I want to be with my tribe just like in that movie.  Keep the faith ^j^