Tuesday, April 30, 2013

asparagus and baby burps

Shannah had an appointment this morning before work and BG offered to keep Jordan while she's slinging BBQ. She is the happiest I have ever seen her since we met, but even at the very worst of times she manages a big smile. I reckon that's why Big Ernie blessed her with such a sweet baby boy. The last time I was around one was when my at the time boyfriend's daughter had hers and he volunteered me to babysit while he played golf. Um..yeah. Didn't last too long, if you know what I mean. I called her after two hours and told her to come get the screaming kid.

The bright yellow crop duster came roaring overhead this morning EARLY and now we're breathing it. Time for some central AC I say. I'm off and loving it which is kind of a perk lately with being off on a weekday. Every weekend has been rainy as long as I can remember and still quite chilly on average. My brother and I were chatting at the gas pump about how it needs to dry up for corn planting and I asked how many acres are involved. Just with the two farms, there are about a thousand acres flooded by the Forked Deer alone. Not to mention all that flatland down by the Big Muddy. My friends who got washed away in '10 rebuilt only really high up and now they just chill in their treehouse oblivious to the rising water. Kinda like having a pond! In June, farming will crank up down there as well.

I'm picking spears twice a day now as peak season approaches and watching carefully for mr snake as I pull weeds at the same time. Might as well as long as I'm down there, ya know? Younger brother is back in the valley I assume following a whirlwind visit to the farm. As a publisher and gifted photographer he and his wife have created a wonderful vision of small time life hidden away from the hustle and bustle. I envy them that as I keep on plodding through the rat race that will never be won. I know..first you've gotta get off the wheel.

Central air on and door wide open. Yep, I might be a redneck.

Love ya....mean it j^

Monday, April 29, 2013

first hummer

Hmm..that should make for some interesting searches. While I was chilling on the new front porch in my ex-not-even-friends roommates glider a red throated hummingbird dive bombed my head looking for food but happy with azalea blooms just the same. This weekend's monsoon has passed and it's still chilly and pollenous. Is that a word? Faith's grave now has two knockout rose bushes, properly planted and soon to be fed. Nobody can say we didn't love that girl for her entire life. Who knew she could get pregnant at age 10? We have Ryder and Sophie and will concentrate on keeping them healthy along with the boys. Sam is so gay and fixed so he's low maint. I'm taking up a collection for two girlie spays and then we're assured of being a four dog family. As long as Luke doesn't show up! Lily is about to realize there's a new diva dog in town but is still annoying when she knocks shit off just to be mean. Get over it honey.

People are all really sick but a whole bunch of them don't have coverage including my insurance poor BG. Two of my favorite nurses have gone into business together and offer reduced cash pay office visits. With some who do have coverage, they can afford to give individual care without losing their asses. Too much of healthcare is a connective type deal where the big dog owns the whole deal and trades on Wall Street. Remember Bill Frist and HCA? Shameful ya'll. That a man would use the healing arts to make his point for right to life is disgusting. Okay, now I'm done with that one and rest in peace Terri.

The extended military presence in Iraq/Afghanistan I place squarely on the shoulders of the Bush administration, Cheney and Halliburton in particular. Honestly, I think Dubya was a nice co-dependent man and surrounded by greedy GOP mongers. I mean..gah. Remember poor Betty Ford and her battle with chemical dependence. The Republican party has steadily put good guys with easy strings to pull up as candidates for a caucus that to this day wants to go fifty years backwards with women's rights and prove that Obama is a Muslim spy taking over the world. Immigration is an issue that will never be solved until we help to restore stability to other nations so that their poor and downtrodden don't show up on our beaches. As a USDA agent my daddy spent his final years of service digging through boats ferrying illegal immigrants from Cuba to Miami. Many of them were from prisons and mentally ill. Castro was a real ass, I've heard.

My BFF Timothy called last night as he usually does when he's off work from customs at MEM and we chatted about the state of the grands. His parents and mine were best friends when we were kids, along with the Mallards. Mom and Miss Jeanne still go to the same beauty shop, you know. Angel's! Brother is somewhere between here and home and probably looking forward to seeing his kids. I have to hand it to him, he has smooth learned how to disconnect and pay attention to priorities. And then? Have some wine.

Gotta go...there's a tick on my head.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

on the waterfront

BG dropped me off at the cabin yesterday and I sat sipping beer and listening to the sounds of nature from way up high. It's kinda like being in a tree house on that porch and the tree lines have been cleared to where you can see forevah! The Forked Deer is out(as usual) and several acres won't be tillable for a couple of months. It always happens in the spring, then we're doing a rain dance by July. It is very cool to watch the sun reflect off that massive backwater, and even cooler to observe a line of incoming thundershowers.

What could have been a huge breach of trust has turned right around into a blessing so I'm glad I learned lots of years ago to get mad and get over it. I spent so many years hanging onto the "good girl" image who must passively aggressively manipulate everyone else by being their puppet. Now, If I've got something to say it's out of my mouth (in a non-threatening way) claiming ownership of my own feelings. And usually like um, pretty quick. But then? I'm over it. Life is too short to carry around a bag full of hurt and anger.

Quiet at the sawmill except for waxing floors and whatnot. This has been a good weekend for it since everybody evidently has gotten past the flu and didn't want to get out in the rain for an ER run. I'll take it. We got to talk for once and laugh about silly stuff like who's gonna get their mama's bread bowl. We were discussing Weeds and they had never heard of it but both thought it sounded pretty damn funny! Imagine me sitting there trying to explain Magestic and Agrestic to a couple of southern Baptists. Yeah, it's kinda hard to wrap your head around that one.

Bro has come and will be shortly gone after putting out the fire he's got going over the way. We did one of those stream of consciousness things yesterday going from one topic to another and for once on even political ground since we both just give up on changing anything by the electoral method. As kids, it was pounded into our heads during year after year of civics class that Congress is elected by and serves the people who vote them in. That is certainly not the case anymore what with all the lobbying by big business. Yes NRA, that's you. And Big Pharm too. And insurance? OH PULEEEZ. I'd rather take my chances with the jihadists. At least they don't take your money and live the high life.

I do believe the old Poopster has found her inner rebel ^j^

Friday, April 26, 2013

chinny whiskers and sprite

I am to the point in life where estrogen is lacking and facial hair gets out of control at times. I refuse to shave 'em, so I have to sit in my car with tweezers all looking like a dork plucking them out, usually at work. I've been without the car at work this week so after running to the dollar store and loan sharks found myself sitting in the driveway in that nasty old Camry pulling away. I know...ya'll wish you were me. Baby brother is due to arrive today so Mom is on a mission to make his favorite dish of "meat pies" which requires cooking of roast first then grinding it together with onions and baking wrapped in biscuit dough. Then, brown gravy on top. BG was supposed to get the stuff yesterday but ended up throwing up her toenails all day so I swung by the store AGAIN to get needed items. Oh.My.Lord. Thank goodness the tire thing happened yesterday instead of today.

I also stopped by to pay a little on an old bill that was not forgiven and found the office "closed." Just my luck, ya'll. I was ready to face the office manager and everything. Yesterday was one of those where the doors were flung wide open and dogs ran in and out while I did the same. I'm learning how to mow the yard and mulch at the same time which is much easier than hauling bags. A friend borrowed the push one and it should come back to me starting which it never did after June of last year. There are two partial nests in a little cubbie thing on my front porch but that'll never happen because of all the critters!

I'm getting to where I'm sort of a hermit (shut UP) because I enjoy being at home so much. Sitting on that front porch is like heaven listening to nature sing and dance. I miss the sound of cows mooing, but they were too much trouble to chase in these hills and valleys. Daddy spent forty years in the wilderness doing that at night and on weekends. I'm still re-watching the Botwins last season because it's all I've got besides old movies and I paid big bucks for it. Definitely a classic, ya'll but you have to know the REST of the story. And appreciate the humor, of course. I will never look at drug lords and Jews the same way again.

I noticed a call for short story submissions on one of my daily reads and I'm down for that. I'm not a "write a whole book" type of author. I can tell stories all day long, just don't ask me to take it to the next level by publishing. Maybe one day when (and if) things settle down. Self publishing is big business and a whole lot less tedious that doing book tours all over the country. When I got my first computer there was a tool for just that and I remember asking myself who in the world would use it. Ha!

Tomorrow is almost free rabies shot day and a bargain for eight bucks. Oscar's been done so we have Sam and Ryder who need to go. I think Sophie is too little at not yet three months. I'll be at the sawmill saving lives so that chore will go to BG. Which means she'll have to get up and take me to work at six in the one running car. Her shop bill will have to wait because of the tires.

Blessed...truly blessed^j^

Thursday, April 25, 2013

little black cloud, act IV

In spite of a firm resolution to sleep in, the sun woke me and Sammy D up before 8 so I got up and stumbled around waking up slowly from a fitful sleep. Somewhere during my dreams Ky cousin came to see me to say that she didn't really die and she's getting ready for canning season. My wandering always includes caffeine and a dose of the interwebs just to see what's shaking in the world. This morning's big news is that a barge hit the Mississippi River bridge going from MO to TN and shut down interstate traffic. The water is so high somebody did an oops and misjudged. It happens during floods and droughts. The river is constantly changing according to weather conditions and whatnot. That mid-western flood water has to go somewhere!

We had nothing to wash clothes with so I headed to the dollar store and on the way home the trusty old Camry started to shake something awful up front. I pulled over, checked the (formerly) flat tire and saw it was up so I headed on. Then it started again....like BAD! Day before payday is a good time to have this happen, but three tires were definitely not in the plans. Thank goodness the tire place was only a quarter mile up the road. Even used, they ride amazingly smoother than the others with the wires poking out. That last one isn't showing yet, but will be soon. See why I don't get out much? Well, that and the price of gas plus the plastic window deal.

Today is Dubya's big event in Dallas and I hope everyone has a lovely time in spite of how much I bitched about he and Cheney. Bless his heart, he was led by the evil ones into all sorts of mistakes. The 50 or so protesters aren't really protesting HIM just the whole war thing and they're mad at Obama too. Go figure that one. I reckon the drawdown wasn't fast enough for them.

While I was waiting on tires, the UPS guy who used to pick up and deliver for my brother's online company jumped out hauling a tire and I told him bro would be in town soon. I remember him sitting in the big brown truck down there in the shade chatting with everybody in the afternoons. That was before the packed it all up in plastic tubs and headed to Virginia.

My brother of all people called yesterday to suggest a new med for Daddy that he had heard does wonders for dementia. I won't tell you what it is, but the Botwins would approve. At this point, we'll take any kind of help we can get. Seroquel is toxic and doesn't work anymore so why the hell not? In the words of my dear friend Sue: "It is what it is." Both have docs appointments next week so that will be on the agenda.

Meanwhile...the weather is gorgeous again and it's asthma time in Tennessee. I managed to knock out a few kinks in the old bod last night but there's a lot left to work on. A massage would be wonderful but once again..you know the drill. One step forward, two steps back.

Keeping the faith. Hope you are as well ^j^

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

thunder road

I woke early this morning to see brilliant bolts of lightning across the southern sky, probably right around Halls. I love having my windows where I can see what's going on outside even if I'm just laying there chillin' with the dogs. I've found that unless I sleep with my neck supported and somewhat UP the entire next day will be spent working out the kinks. Sometime after the storm came up the wind blew open the dining room door by the little bitty porch and when I got up it was almost an asthma attack. Thank the lort I have an inhaler for such times. As for the kinks, they're still there waiting on a yoga session. I've even learned to pop my own back!

Today was the annual volunteer breakfast at work and I didn't make it to give the Gaga award but that's okay. I just don't have it in me anymore to be a cheerleader all the time. My grandmother was working there in admissions when I started as a young med tech and later moved to the ER where she was ward clerk until she retired at age 70, mandatory per company policy. After that she jumped into the volunteer program as a pink lady working tirelessly in the gift shop with another woman and fussing the whole time over who was in charge. She died there in the intensive care unit at an old age with a whole waiting room of family taking turns at her side. The matriarch, if you will. as the oldest grandchild, I was her favorite I think though she never showed any partiality to any of us. The more the merrier, she'd say. She had this groovy aluminum Christmas tree with the multicolored light wheel, very sixties. She became a widow at age 45 and spent many years traveling and having a good time. Then it was back to work. When the money runs out, what's a girl to do?

Here's a mental pic for ya'll.. In BG's bed, a young mother sleeping with her baby boy and Sophie the puppy. It's what's there right now and I swear it makes me go "awwwww". I have a couple of days off before weekend sawmill duty so I'm really looking forward to long sleeps. Being able to do that is what saves my old ass from dying of fatigue! Sammy D has taken to staying on my bed much of the day and that worries me. He has a limp that comes and goes and I don't have a clue what that's about. Vet isn't in the budget. And then there are the two girls that need to be spayed. I should start a non-profit dog fostering network and earn money at home. Maybe when Sugardaddy comes around.

I'm terribly glad not to have TV right now and be spared exposure to the MSM except for my choices via the web. Ten years ago I couldn't have imagined it. I read today that many MANY senators are hearing from their constituents on the background check thing. As ya'll know, I just had to pipe up to my own, like it will make a damn bit of difference in this state. I will tell you exactly what happened to the Democratic party in Tennessee...the Ford family. When TennCare was first put in place by then Governor Phil Bredesen it was an answer to prayer for many people. Then the middle men who saw a buck to be made, like the Fords, started up operations that preyed on the government program disbursing healthcare and childcare funds. It didn't take long for it to turn into a giant albatross around the state's neck due to mismanagement of contracts and greed. It is still abused to this day by practitioners who hand out drugs indiscriminately and feed the street traffic for a co-pay. Medicare is the same way. There will always be those who will work the system for their own personal advantage.

Phone will be on but silent. Leave a message at the beep ^j^

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

oh happy day

I've had my phone for about two months and just now figured out how to get pictures on it. Therefore, I've been avoiding all those shitty anti-demolibtardian jokes that a certain someone has been sending my way. This arrogant ass actually had the balls to tell me he deleted me from his FB page because of my beliefs. WTF? Since when does friendship have a damn thing to do with political persuasion? Sadly in our country there's a line drawn in the sand that denies the ability to compromise and feed the money machine a little bit longer. Jihad is just one mentally disturbed man's way of using religion as an excuse to melt down. That probably isn't what Big Ernie likes to see, especially in his name. BG and I discussed it today...the whole "the end is coming" deal and decided quickly that we'll go out standing and doing the right thing. Mama would be so ashamed if we didn't.

My favorite end of the world scene is that one where they're on the beach just waiting for the tsunami to hit and chillin'. Hopefully, calm and holding hands on the way down. It's right up there with Steve Carrell and what's her name at their apocalypse. That's how I wanna go..not dead on the concrete floors of a hospital. HOWEVER I need money for rent and groceries so I get up and go and give it my all in the time that I'm there. I've heard there's lots of chat about the new law that will allow employers access to your FB account. If that happens, I'll walk...not because I have anything to hide but because it's an invasion of my privacy. They already drug screen me and run a tight ship. What I do when I'm off is my own business. FB is blocked on most corporate systems so that's not an issue. Next thing you know they'll be taking away phones and giving us guns. No ....wait! We save people. Just kidding, ya'll. There's no place I'd rather spend my golden years. Except on an island. With Sugardaddy and a big fat bottle of Grey Goose.

BG and I have been off and on together today which is getting to be a routine with one running vehicle and two elders depending on us. A couple of years ago I pledged to stick with a friend on some serious detox like therapy like start-from-scratch back to step one thing. I never imagined the road would be as long as it has been or as hard. I've met others along that road who have it much worse than me and manage to smile and be helpful. That's all I've ever wanted, really. Sometimes when we start a journey it is on faith alone when the odds seem impossible. That's what J would do.

So anyways...I fired off an electronic communication to my senators today and promptly got spammed by the TN gun lobby when it hit Corker's server. Haven't heard yet from Alexander. I'm telling ya'll, things gotta be different or we're all screwed. Hope you have some Xanax for the trip to hell. There..I can see homeland security tracking that phrase ten ways to midnight. According to my ex-friend it's all about Obama, and the Muslim scouts over there at Watts Barr planning the end of the world. Whatever dude. I wish I had back every minute I spent trying to adore you.

Peace ^j^

Monday, April 22, 2013

lab week and social discourse

I'm a sitting duck for capitalists and other bullies because for the life of me I can't imagine not thinking about the basics like clean drinking water, et.al. When the world almost ends, you can bet your sweet ass we'll be down by the river slurping. We take so much for granted because of modern luxuries that sometimes turn into addictions and whatnot. I learned early on that as long as I had a running car to get to and from work and went to bed not hungry that I could make it. That has been the weakest spot of the whole single woman at midlife experience dropped on my unsuspecting little head. Having a guy or guys who will help a girl out when things go south is a true blessing. Back in December we had this monsoon of a rain and when I wheeled the Camry through the grass it ended up stuck in the asparagus bed. Luckily there were two of 'em that day to get me out and on gravel. If there's no hub, a brother and his buddy will work out just fine. He just grins and shakes his head. "Silly girl."

Meanwhile, back at the sawmill it is National Medical Laboratory Week which is always a lot of fun with food and old stories. I've been there 36 plus years and have spent more time with most of them than with my own family. We share joys and sorrows, a new baby here and the death of someone there. We carry out feelings about family into the workplace and try to treat them as if they are our own flesh and blood. Every patient needs an advocate when sick or dying. The trauma alone is enough to make people burn out quick. And ours is a very small town. I can't imagine being the blood bank that tried to handle 8 zillion donors after 9/11. Blood donation is a habit picked up by about 5% of the population and many become lifetime donors. Every 56 days I believe? My point is this. When crisis time hits, we need to already HAVE the shelves stocked so we can respond more quickly. That requires three days from needle to drawer and a whole lot of organization. We are fortunate to do business with an excellent supplier that is not for profit and not the Red Cross. Kudos to Lifeline Blood Services and their entire crew. I've been blessed with a working relationship with most of the staff there and have made many a road trip to catch up on the state of things. My one time preacher was the one who got the ball rolling in Dyersburg to start a volunteer blood program...I'm talking he PREACHED it from the pulpit. And you know what? It's still going strong. Thanks Willis ^j^

It's also National Volunteer Appreciation week which includes my grandmother Gaga, both my parents and two aunts. I've been through this one many times, and it's dwindled down to me carrying the torch. Cousin will be there working, and hopefully can make an appearance. I wanted to quit last year but she urged it on, we just handed it over to someone else. I can deal with that!

No crises with the grands at present, which is always a huge blessing. One car in the shop, other one wobbling a lot but still running. It's the tires plus lack of maintenance because (once again) there's no man to do it. I admit I could probably change oil..hell, I found the reason for the whole ruckus when my spark plug popped out not long ago. Thanks to my mechanic friend for that lesson!

I have this really brainy kid of a friend who thinks a lot like me and is into the engineering side of clean water which was mentioned above, I believe. Some supposed friend of his picked a fight over something and I wanted to slap her...just like when somebody starts on me. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I'm a liberal. Deal with it. I'm a helluva lot closer to being an independent that I ever was when I was campaigning for tricky Dicky. If these southern reps don't get their heads out of the Bible and back on the Constitution, I fear for all our lives. Separation of church and state, says it right up in the official document.

Big Ernie is good. All the time ^j^

Sunday, April 21, 2013

some days you're the windshield

I finally got the yard mowed yesterday and managed not to break the belt by picking up sticks ahead of the path and mowing around shit. My orders are to set the blade at a certain level and avoid roots. Yes sir, bro. I AM pretty hard on mowers not because of carelessness but because the terrain here is rocky and hilly in several spots. The old Bizzle house is in a huge pile now, ready to burn and bury. Now my parents are the only ones on that side of the road clear to the river!

We did eggs and dilly bars today and managed it without a cross word being spoken because mom wasn't in the mood to argue and neither was I. As usual, we got moved around and relocated because of a large group that comes every Sunday and has to have EVERYBODY at the same table. We giggle about it and go on. On the ride home we got to talking about how mama really didn't know much about country life and made daddy promise to never tell her own daddy the question that she asked about cows and bulls. I laughed so hard I almost ran off the road. Then she shared about the time that she decorated baskets full of flowers from the back yard for a Sunday school party. Little did she know that they would close up before the party even got started because they were day lilies!

The air is clean and crisp and full of pollen. I thought I was gonna' have a full blown asthma attack after the mowing but quickly got inside and showered off the icky stuff. If not for singulair and an inhaler, I'd be housebound during peak allergy seasons. I got a very disturbing message from a very dear friend yesterday and my heart is aching for her right now as she stumbles toward her new normal following a very emotional ordeal. She has been with me all the way and remains one of my dearest and sweetest friends of the sort that I've never really "met." Sometimes I try to remember what life was like before the WWW and our ability to span the globe with communications. One of the most disturbing things about the deal in Boston was the viciousness with which the MSM pounced on any little fragment of truth to be the first to report. That is one of the reasons that we feel like we're under Code Orange all the time because things that would have not been known in other parts of the country and world don't have to wait for snail mail delivery and the printing press. With more choices in where to get news, comes a responsibility to use a level head when taking it all in and consider the source(s).

If there ever was a time for the GOP to clean house, now is it. They have made a mockery of what the majority of Americans want as polled by many unbiased sources. The gun thing is absurd and there will be hell to pay on that. The heir to the Busch fortune formally resigned from his lifetime membership out of shame of what the NRA stands for now. It wasn't always the militant marketplace for illegal weapons, instead beginning as an informal hunt club. I bet the founders are rolling over in their graves right about now. And then there's the asshat who asked for aid for West TX after voting AGAINST the very same aid for Hurricane Sandy victims. News sources report that the plant had WAYYYYYYYYY more explosive material on site than is safe. Wonder if corporate is lawyering up? And as for you Rand Paul? Shut the eff up and learn be more like your daddy.

All the dogs have had ticks removed and us people have too. So far no RMSF but it's early. I spent the entire day outside yesterday and have a bit of a farmer's tan where the t-shirt stopped. Baby brother is headed this way sometime soon and I'm looking forward to that as usual. We are of the same "cosmos" so to speak and it's like we never left off when we get together again. Formerly a beer drinker like me, he's a wine kind of guy now. He will be amazed at the changes in our landscape, most all of them good. We have north Forked Deer backwater but not enough to keep us in, yet. This is prime flooding time for all rivers and ours has a history of acting up due to poor infrastructure in the southern part of town. Improvements are in the plan, but haven't started yet. It looks like a ghost town now, deserted except for the few businesses and homes that remained after back to back floods.

I set fire to what's left of Granny's couch yesterday afternoon but it was too wet, therefore I'll try again today. Any excuse to start a fire, says this old redneck hippie pyro country girl.

Peace and love ^j^

Friday, April 19, 2013

world weary

Well well...the plot thickens. Once again we are pointing fingers at Muslim extremists for something that nobody has really grasped yet. Every time we are caught with our pants down it's usually a sign that the hatred for us, as a country with all our western ways, is about to bubble over into our own back yard. As with 9/11 the profiling of Islam as a religion is filled with accusatory looks toward people of an ethnicity different from ours. Terrorism is a violent act aimed at proving a point by killing. A whole lot of people do that with weapons that are purchased without background checks (thank you Congress) or any sort of accountability. Terror is a way of life for those who are single minded and crazy enough to pull it off and get a moment of fame be it with Allah or the god of the Westboro haters. Get over it ya'll. Life is one big gray area so deal with it.

What is most amazing to me is the strength and faith that arise when we are attacked on our own soil and mundane everyday life is interrupted. Everyone is a hero then, and that's what it's about. Some people live this way all their lives. It wouldn't surprise me if little Kim didn't hire these guys to pull it off with pressure cookers to take the heat off of himself. Please do me a favor though. If you are at the very least inclined to blame this on our President, remember that it started with you-know-who. It is about tolerance people, and not just of others' beliefs but a willingness to make a difference in the earth by cutting carbon emissions and growing more organically. You can only throw so much poison at a planet before it withers away.

Things are just pretty as a picture outside following the weather event that wasn't much but heavy rain and wind. The sun is trying to peek out and it's chilly again, just my kind of weather. With multiple dogs in the bed it gets a bit warm sometimes and besides we got used to being cold these past two winters. One of these days ya'll .....one of these days. There are several wisteria vines scattered through trees around town and I adore them as well as the dogwood trees. No more Mr. Snake so far but I haven't mowed yet and it's pretty dang tall. Keep your fingers crossed on that one. If you hear a scream, come running.

Later ^j^

Thursday, April 18, 2013

ready for the storm

Here we sit ya'll, on top of the highest point on this entire farm and there's a big band of thundery rainy windy stuff heading our way. No twisters yet, but it hasn't made it to the Mississippi yet. My friend Brian posted flood pics from his home near St. Louis today and I expect to see the same kind of action here. Lots of rain can quickly overtake streams and streets in a hurry our hundred year flood of 2010. It's pretty safe from flooding up here, but the problem is getting OUT without walking to the airport across the golf course. We did learn how to get out when we have to during the big one.

My heart broke today as I read about how Gabby Giffords and others who have suffered at the hands of automatic weapons reacted to the gun control vote. I mean...Jesus, people. I think there's supposed to be some sneaky maneuver that accounts for the dems who helped put it down like being able to bring it back up. Y'all better listen to us up there kids. America is mad as hell and it is because our elected officials are on the take and living the high life while we struggle to pay for. The reason that every damn thing is so complicated is that there is little co-ordination between federal and state governments other than in a Big Ike type of way. I must say that I'm tickled to see that the FDA nixed generic Oxycontin. That's all TennCare needs in addition to the other stuff like meth, morphine and crack. Just saying.

There was a horrible house fire here the other night and a pair of twin girls died from smoke inhalation after being rescued and handed out by one of our local firefighters. Not sure who it was, but there should be a medal on the way for that. The older brother survived as did the father. Not sure where mama was in all this. Everyone involved in the rescue and treatment of those people will never be the same. Next time, don't take us for granted.

I'm happily schlepping my way through Weeds and savoring every moment, often starting over so that I don't miss anything. Considering how many times we watched Bridesmaids and The Hangover, I'd say I'll have days of fun with these three discs. My friend is bringing more of her humongous stash of movies tomorrow. BG is grands-sitting and things have settled down tremendously since daddy figured out he wouldn't win this one. At 81 he's ten times ornerier than he ever was as a younger man. The running Stafford fits are becoming more frequent and we just have to start out like we're gonna hold out. It's the only way.

I'll let ya'll know if we get blown to North Carolina because I'll sure be moving somewhere besides there. I've had it with southern redneck politics.

Keep the faith^j^

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

mr snake rears his head

I have come to realize that whenever I see Mr. Snake alive and squirming that chaos soon follows and have begun to put that together in a way that I just wait for things to hit. As I was making the turn onto our lane yesterday I saw him for the first time this year all sprawled out on the warm pavement warning me. No sooner did I get home and hit the PC until I read about the rigged pressure cooker blowout that killed and injured many many innocents. I hesitated to place blame until we were assured that there was no random explosion thing going on, but I knew in my heart it was a terrorist act, foreign OR domestic. To say that this country is filled with extremist nut jobs is an understatement. As a nation we are so fractured that we don't stand a chance against a unified front unless we pledge to stick together and accept compromise. Not everybody can be right, but finding something that is acceptable to both sides of an issue is a requirement for democracy. To thump the King James version and claim that your point is found in there leaves out the other half of the world and their beliefs. Big Ernie would say "not cool."

Then I proceeded to get into a very long and agitated chat with my mother about how things are and must be in order for them to stay at home and we both ended up crying. I even hung up on her, which is something I've NEVER done. As it turns out, she was just the messenger of all the vitriol that my father is spewing these days, full of hatred and anger and control. Time for some more crazy meds, I reckon. Ya'll know for sure that I don't have the answers or I would have smooth used 'em five years ago. It's a day by day experience, just like anything else. Being the good girl that I am, ya'll know how hard it was for me to call her back and see if we're still all kosher. I picked her up from bridge today where she sits blindly while the others sling cards and cut throats.

I never make those lists of top friends/movies/whatever because my ADD makes it really hard to settle on just one ;) The way I look at life it's a tapestry that is woven from every experience that we have. That's the cool thing about blessings and love. The more you share, the more you get to enjoy. I was humbled beyond belief today as I read the words of one of my oldest blog buddies/partners in writing crime and couldn't stop the tears as I read it to my Bossfriend. He's one of the many who love me that I will probably never meet but who have given me something to live for over the years. Why would I go out to a singles bar when I can stay home, drink and blog to high heaven!

I was so agitated yesterday that I broke down and gave BG the card for season 8 of Weeds so there's that to look forward to. A season is just over so damn quick...especially when it's the last! Per usual TN weather, we've gone from winter straight to summer with no ambient temps in the forecast but lots of potential for severe. Go figure.

Ya'll keep praying ^j^

Monday, April 15, 2013

things that go "boom"

Like everybody else, my mouth is hanging open over the explosions in Boston, wondering if NorK has that kind of range. My guess would be more of the jihadist variety if it was in fact set on purpose. We shall see. It's enough to make you want to just stay home and become a hermit because the more people hate us the more they seek out large crowds to target the maximum number of people with one event. If that isn't the case here, I apologize in advance for my assumptions. Just call me a profiler.

An old high school friend of mine is in town for his son's funeral and we've been FB friends since the whole deal started. He lives in FL and is meeting the plane carrying his son's body today in Memphis. What a sad task, but one that must be done. I doubt we've seen each other in the 40 years since high school but he's been a faithful reader and follower and has given me a lot of reason to keep on believing. Big hugs buddy.

We got rid of the last available puppy yesterday, a little boy (the runt) who went to live with two little girls and their family. The nameless little girl who remains is beginning to get a brown sheen to her coat, reminding me of her granny Faith. Her grandpa Luke the dane is a permanent fixture now which is more comfortable because if he's excited you better hang on to your hat! His mama's been gone now for several months, and in a way I think that perhaps he's a symbol of what KY cuz had with her dog that died last year. Aggie the giant schnauzer was the biggest CURLY HAIRIEST dog I ever saw. Maybe Luke is Aggie's angel.

I try really hard to be compassionate and understand what it's like to be elderly and craving independence but sometimes I just have to say to hell with it and take my hands off for a bit. As my brother puts it "I'm wore out with it." They have undone, sometimes dramatically, every single thing that we have attempted to put in place allowing them to stay at home. Now I'm pretty stubborn, but I know my limits and if I had just almost died I believe I'd be pretty compliant with the arrangements especially when they include a granddaughter at your beck and call. Just sayin'. The gator is being delivered to daddy this afternoon so there's that to be monitored. I've learned that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission so I'll just play it my way and not argue.

Work is non-stop as usual with peaks and valleys of traffic. That's one thing about healthcare...there's a never ending stream of customers who deserve to be treated
fairly and with TLC. That it is a business is a reality, but the people who practice still have a responsibility to do their best for another human life, even when they spit on you! Honey, I've seen it all. Back in the day we did nursing home draws and there was this one old guy who liked to pinch titties and say "baby baby all night long!" I learned exactly how to posture myself to avoid his hands. The worst ass kicking I ever got was from a 107 year old lady on a stretcher.

It was really cool the way BG went to Kroger yesterday for turkey and cheese and came home with a freakin' microwave! Some things, you just gotta have. Our cooking consists of a lot of creativity and limited resources but we do so enjoy it. That, we got from my mother. When BG was describing the doughnut nights she mentioned that she thought Mom would have loved it in her younger day. She always was one for making things perfect.

See ya'll around ^j^

Sunday, April 14, 2013

flower power

I can't help it ya'll..I spent 30 bucks on some good dirt and a few flowers today because I'm like a crack head when it comes to planting shit. And burning it too, as you know. There is still half of my aunt's couch left to fire up and a few limbs on top. The cushion is under a tree for a doggie bed. At least it's not in the driveway anymore where it sat for months. I burned it where it sat just to get it light enough for me to drag to the fire pile. Towanda! We were cooking some dinner last night with the grill, electric skillet and microwave when the m'wave decided to blow and that was that. No more hot pockets. The stove is gas and there is no propane. End of story, and typical for our luck. My next project is to get the push mower going.

This morning I slept in and headed out to pick up the grands at church only to find my front tire flat as a pancake. BG's car has been parked waiting for repairs but I drove it to the gas station for some fix a flat, put it in and made it to Patterson Brothers for that blessed free air which has kept me rolling for years. I'm usually there before they ever get out of the church building but because of the delay they were already curbside when I arrived. After they loaded up I gently asked where we were going for breakfast because Mom had mentioned going somewhere different. A repeat of the Easter fight followed and we ended up at the same old place with her threatening to sit in the car. Okay, then. When we got seated I proceeded to tell them that they sounded like little kids fighting over a toy with neither claiming blame for the stupid subject at hand. I'm over it. We ate quietly while I read the paper and it's like it never happened. Lord.Have.Mercy.

Ranger's dad messaged me today wanting to know when the puppies' birthdate was and I actually had to look back through blog posts to figure it out. It was on Jan 30th, right before KY cousin died and all hell broke loose. The rest has been a blur for me with mama almost dying shortly thereafter. Thank goodness for "happy" pills. Two pups left that are growing like weeds! I'm grateful today for the beauty of yesterday because it's cloudy and windy again,though still warm. Tornado season is late so I'm expecting some action any day now. We dodged the bullet that was Wednesday's big outbreak but MO,AR and MS did not. So, all in all things could be worse here on Pecan Lane in spite of the little black cloud that follows me.

Jury duty is coming up in a couple of weeks and I noticed a string of indictments in today's paper, mostly for shake and baking meth. Those cases never make it to a jury, of course. Nobody caught making meth can have any kind of defense, if you know what I mean. For the life of me I can't understand it, but it must be one hell of an addiction. The worst thing is that the cookers often do so with children present which results in them promptly being removed from the home. Then the homeowner has to pay to have the whole site cleaned up to the tune of about 30K. All of this madness plus methadone clinics that keep people hooked for life and the entire country is fighting over making a natural herb like ganja legal. PUleeeeez people. Use some common sense and pick your battles.

I haven't check on NORK lately but I'm assuming they haven't fire anything that hit us. However, I wouldn't know since there's no TV service here. We watched Zero Dark Thirty and Lincoln yesterday and both of them bored me to death in spite of rave reviews. That leaves us with several seasons of I Love Lucy to watch over and over again. My internet service is too slow to stream anything so there you go. We will survive.

Y'all count your blessings. I'm doing the same as it's the Lord's day and I'm glad in it.


Friday, April 12, 2013

universal precautions

In my profession that means, literally, to treat each patient as if he or she has an infectious disease and protect yourself accordingly with gloves, gowns and masks. It is a violation of patient's rights for their "diseases" like HIV or HCV to be shared with staff except for what is needed to care for the patient. Besides, the incubation period is so unpredictable for these conditions that someone might be infected but not testing positive yet. So, we treat everybody alike for self protection and act "as if" each of them could be the carrier of a deadly illness. Not only does it protect us, but other patients as well. There are two distinct camps harping over the gun control issue (with many of them on my FBpage,thankyouverymuch.) One side says hell to the naw on any kind of regulation because it's mental illness that is rampant and background checks don't stop that. Bull.Shit. A friend of mine posted today how many sales of firearms in the state of CO were stopped at the point of transaction because of universal background checks and the numbers are staggering. And just think...those are only the ones that got caught. Not included are those firearms bought illegally from other countries and their registration altered so that they can be used for killing sprees. I don't want a gun because frankly, I'd shoot my eye out. But I believe that I have the right to carry a properly registered weapon to protect myself. That's what the 2nd amendment is all about...not this large magazine bullshit that's making millions for Russia and Mexico at gun shows. They don't like us, remember? As for the use of SRUIs as an indicator of mental illness, I dare you to show me ten of your friends who don't take 'em. They are the sanity of a generation that's been stomped on and fooled with by corporate America.

BGs career in doughnut making was quite short, lasting two nights of a six night training stretch. The way she describes the process it's kinda like that episode of Lucy and Ethel on the candy conveyor belt! It is a multitasker's paradise and an ADD person's nightmare. Her car is headed back to the shop tomorrow with a repeat of the bearing incident, this time on front. So she's down at the grands in her jammie pants driving the Camry with the film flapping. I plan on getting a new application since it's payday. I'm also going to attempt to get the mower started so ya'll pray about that one. I lose patience real quick when it doesn't start the 2nd or 3rd time. Mostly weeds and orchard grass, it's a pain in the butt to maneuver with a rider due to the "nicely sculpted" hills that I could climb and mow back in the day. It's almost pool time at Gigi's and I can't wait to warm up these old bones in the sun with some sistas.

The pollen is back with a vengeance and my house is covered with dog hair and other "stuff" that I've halfway run over with dirty towels on the way through. This is the time for procrastination to STOP in this househole! Maybe. The sun is shining it's Friday and for now I'm not overdrawn. Life is good ^j^

Thursday, April 11, 2013

redbuds and HIPPA

In case you never read the fine print on those reams of papers that you sign when visiting a hospital or doctor's office, you may or may not know about a patient's right to privacy when it comes to healthcare info. It's a huge deal with the feds and providers are mandated by law to inform you of your rights as a patient prior to treatment. They are also required to get your consent for any tests or treatments that have been discussed. If you're out of it, somebody else like a family member is designated as your advocate. Regular inspections and audits by appointed surveyors is required to keep receiving Medicare dollars. All of this and more were the topics at a very informative after work meeting presented by my hero in the workplace, a tough lady who has given her all for excellence in the job. I will miss her terribly when she retires because she's one of those "go to" people in a crisis. If she says it, it's okay. The hour and a half was gone before I knew it. Not many team leaders can command that kind of attention. I might just retire when she does because she's got all the answers! Just kiddin'..ya'll know how broke my ass is. Unless SD shows up I'll be working 'til I drop.

Redbud trees are my very most favoritest part of spring and the ones out front are in full bloom drenched in rain from the big clash between warm moist air and a cold jet. Beautiful sight, if I say so myself. All of the leaves have tiny leaves and the hosta and peonies are peeking out to check the weather. Those two warm days were enough to bring some asparagus up but not yet a mess. Unless you're from the south, you don't even know what that means probably. I drove through water on the way to work this morning and on the way home. We got several inches at just the right time for planting. Something, if just a patch of herbs. There is nothing in this world like fresh basil.

I'm back to step one, finding my little world twirling out of control and feeling not too inclined to accept that fact. A bit financial hit during the past week has me reeling and wanting really bad to just give it up and use my next paycheck for a BK lawyer. The sad thing is that I really do try to be responsible. Life just gets so damned crazy sometimes you get caught up in things other than the budget. Times 5 years, umkay? The trusty old Camry is 11 years old and one tire or belt away from dumping me on the side of the road. BG's Neon is in the same shape. We are scraping and working and believing in miracles and STILL the hits keep coming. I do not claim to be blameless for I have my excesses just like everybody else, but what we scrimp for is stuff that many people take for granted. Washing detergent. Dawn. Dog food. Shower gel.

I still miss my KY cuz, most especially now during the spring when the gardens are getting laid out and she would normally be running the show up there in Calvert City while her hub did the tilling and planting. Her job was to stay up 'til midnight canning the stuff! WA cuz called last night and we giggled like little kids talking about how stupid conservatives are and how typical our family is. She was the youngest of the grandchildren until I came along and mama said her face just dropped when she first saw my little infant self and realized she wasn't "the baby" anymore.

Luke the dane has been absent for a week or more but showed up today in the rain and mud to check in with our fam and his grandchildren. Yes, we still have two and they're precious. I'm sure in this day and age one can figure out how to deliver a cute puppy by FedEx. Remember, I know ya'lls addresses.

Peace ^j^

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

dear congress

I've been mouthing lately about writing letters to my elected officials and there are so many of them from president right down to county commissioner and school board member. I don't have much of a dog in either of those last two fights so I'm aiming mine at the Congress of the United States. You people were elected by your constituents mostly on face recognition from TV commercials or signs and mostly not by people who know what you stand for. They trust you blindly because of party lines and then are disappointed when you don't represent what THEY believe instead of putting your own agendas first. Here's the skinny, like it or not. We have been in three wars now over access to foreign oil to put into our highly inefficient combustible engines. Alternatives do indeed exist but the giants who control the whole deal want to keep the whole rape the public thing going. When I read about the tar sands in Arkansas and remembered what you are trying to do to us and Canada, I wanted to puke. Notice that I didn't leave out Desert Storm as an oil based skirmish. It is insane to think that we can keep damaging the earth and expect it to be there for our children. Alternative sources of energy are a must and the forces of evil don't want them to be developed.

I understand your hesitance to recognize a civil union when considering benefits and whatnot. It's new territory and there's a long fight ahead for that to happen because corporate won't condone it because it costs them money. HOWEVER...whatever your race, sex, creed or sexual preference everyone is guaranteed the freedom to love whomever and whenever they want unless it infringes upon YOUR rights. If you don't like it...avoid it. Attempting to pass a law that makes anal and oral sex illegal is a little bit like a law against adultery. Big Ernie made that one, by the way. You and your cronies did not.

Roe v Wade was a done deal in 1973 following years of women's health crisis calls over botched abortions by back alley practitioners. If it is a state's right to say no to legal abortion, then they should figure on a big increase in the welfare rolls and budget accordingly. By the way, I would not live in that kind of state. Tennessee might be redneck, but there's enough hippie blood around here to keep things stirred up. That the governor of TN has failed to participate in setting up an exchange for you-know-who-care says volumes. Preventive health and access to such is the future of healthcare. Obesity is an epidemic in this country and it's a whole lot because we eat processed food that is packed with additives and drive our oil powered big ass cars instead of walking. Just sayin'.

The gun thing is being talked to death ever since Newtown and Aurora but it started long before that. When BG was at Dyersburg State some nut job off the street wandered in and held a whole class hostage with a firearm. Now, it happens every day somewhere. Mental health is an area that needs serious attention and not in the way that corporate healthcare usually approaches things. The EPA at my employer provides five visits with a therapist at no cost to help keep me same enough to hold my job while the world collapses around me. It has kept me from climbing the water tower on numerous occasions. That type of benefit is a perk that most people don't have and I totally appreciate it. My past, while full of the usual hurts and pains, is nothing compared with the abuse that many people live with. From that comes abuse of numerous kinds of habits to try to fill up that empty spot. Co-dependency is rampant yet is never addressed as a mental health issue unless you end up in drug court or rehab. It's a never ending cycle.

I want the military of our country to focus on our safety here at home and work on our infrastructure just in case little Kim gets crazy or the drug lords in Mexico decide to take over the US. Our response to natural disasters, as a country, has been quite sub-par (Katrina,Sandy,etc.) so if you want the states to take care of that, help them out with the bill and make it sooner rather than later. Otherwise, they will all recede and pull guns on you. We are at a turning point here sort of like in the Old Testament days when God got really mad and wiped the whole slate clean because he was so pissed at the idiots. It happened more than once, you know.

I expect to be represented as a US citizen in ways that empower me to have a hopeful future, one where there are jobs in my own country rather than halfway around the world. I expect big banks to be prosecuted by the AGs office and fined accordingly, using the money to feed the poor and homeless HERE rather than those in Africa. I admire your efforts Clooney, but we've got our own problems on the table and it doesn't look good for honest hard working men and women who just want to enjoy life. As for my social security and medicare benefits, if you use them to fund another war or pay another lobbyist, I will personally hunt you down like a dog and ye shall know the wrath of Poopie.

Sincerely yours,

Janie Poopster

Monday, April 8, 2013

monday musings

I would almost work every weekend just to know the joy of not having to punch the clock on Monday morning before the sun comes up. I slept for FOURTEEN hours last night and still want more. I'm on call for work in case Big and Little's grandchild decides to be born. We all just try to work together and help each other out because we're at the age where shit happens more and more often. Mr. Big is cancer free and looking forward to a beach vacay with the family in June. I might just have to send him a fruitcake to Orange Beach.

BG was supposed to go into doughnut training tonight but her boss told her to hang on 'til tomorrow so we get to spend the afternoon together after she does her duty with the grands. Daddy's control of almost everything has been taken away so he still hangs on to the monthly filling of his tiny little nerve pill as a big event. I visited with bro today while getting gas and we didn't have any crises to discuss so there's a blessing in and of itself. So what if they fight? I just don't wanna hear it. They are both so feeble one couldn't hurt the other. It's verbal with them...tit for tat and I told ya so. Mom expects him to be the old Billy and he's not. His frontal lobe is ravaged with dementia and he just isn't capable of caring for her. Thus, plan B. So far so good.

Someone forgave a debt for me not too long ago and I will forever more be grateful to that sweet soul. I'm trying my best to get things lined up where I'm square with the economy and BG's three jobs should help a lot. I read today where the Westevil Baptists are picketing Ebert's funeral and thought to myself "morons." God is good ya'll, not all judgmental and redneck and hateful. I guarantee you if Sci acted like that he'd be out of a job in a heartbeat. Go on back to your hole haters. You will not win.

We're still sifting through memories here with lots of pics to be scanned and whatnot. Not sure that I'll get around to reading all the letters but I hope so. The burning of the house is on hold until the shed gets situated. We also have a new security light by the dairy barn which totally makes me feel less vulnerable out here in the dark. It all seems to be coming together somehow and all I've done is show up and let go.

Imagine that ^j^

Sunday, April 7, 2013

if you build it they will come

You can always tell when it's a slow news day because there's nothing much but little tidbits following up on previous big deals. This whole chaining of the CPI deal is really pissing me off since I've contributed to SS since I was 14 years old and a lifeguard during the summer. DO NOT come back at me seven years before that so called "entitlement" is to begin and dare to reduce it. That is MY money that was involuntarily taken from MY paychecks by MY government over a period of forty odd years. It is NOT an entitlement. It is simply repayment for what I have contributed during my career. If there weren't so many non-earners on the SS payroll, it wouldn't be a problem if you get my drift. Drug addiction and/or alcoholism are not "disabilities." You are not "entitled" to that monthly check that comes out of my paycheck so you can lay up in the house until the mail runs. And no, I don't think recipients should be drug screened. They should just be weeded out from the ones who have ever actually contributed to the economy in some way and cut off the rolls. My late cousin Debbie who was truly disabled due to COPD and arthritic knees fought for two years to get her benefit and died shortly thereafter.

As we all know the VA is tasked with caring for our veterans whether they are 18 or 96 which is a huge job. WE worked with our local office for about six months pulling together what was needed to put in a claim so my parents could get some form of payment for household help. It was approved retroactively and is something that my father earned by serving in the Korean conflict. How ironic that the fragile treaty of those days is being blasted to high heaven by stupid little Kim with the bad haircut. If there were a contest between he and Paul Ryan, I think it would be a tossup. I managed to catch part of CBS Sunday Morning today and was intrigued by a piece about the anniversary of the Holocaust museum. It detailed how important it is to keep the story alive of the evil and tyranny caused by Hitler and his cohorts. People who are mindless follow like sheep.

Louisville and Michigan will fight it out tomorrow and March madness '13 will be history except for happy homecomings at their respective airports. When I noticed on Yahoo today about the NFL players coming out, I was somewhat proud of them for being honest and rocking the worlds of a whole helluva lot of American men. My wires got crossed while sending a baseball poem on MP3 to a friend yesterday and instead he ended up on some pro-gay page. I thought he was gonna KILL me! Hey. I had good intentions. Today said link was correctly sent and I know he'll "get it." Field of dreams,ya'll. Jackie Robinson was also on the teevee this morning and I marveled at the prejudice that he and his family endured when they had road games in the south.

Meanwhile my home state of Tennessee, which is controlled by you-know-who, has a backlog of about two months for unemployment benefits to people who are stuck in the trickle down economy. BG picked up a 3rd job today making doughnuts, of all things. I see this as being the new normal for her age group...college educated and working at jobs that previously went to high schoolers. It's a real bargain for employers. I am grateful to have a job because so many others do not. I can't imagine trying to figure out how to make it without decent insurance and a steady income. If the banks have any inkling that they will be able to recoup all that student loan debt and retire to the Bahamas, think again. Where there are no jobs, there's no repayment.

Since I was at the sawmill, BG did breakfast run with the grands today. She posted a FB pic of my sweet little mama grinning from ear to ear over her eggs and croissant. With her eyes shut, of course! She's gotten feisty again, this time more so because she almost "bought the farm" so to speak. Second wind always blows stronger.

Keep the faith kids. I'm off for two and loving every second of it already ^j^

Saturday, April 6, 2013

eyes barely open

We are so accustomed to the darkness of winter that this weekend's warm rays and beautiful sunshine take some time for adjustment of the old eyeballs. Somehow I managed to lose my dolla' store reading glasses today so I picked up another pair on the way home. Hey..gotta have 'em to work, that's the bottom line. My bossfriend wears TWO pair on top of each other making her look like a cross between Luci Arnaz and Mr. Magoo. I'm not laughing though. My day will come, the one when I lose sight of what is seen as real and rely instead on sound, touch and the empathy of others. Kinda' like my mama, ya know? I'm okay with that reality because I have had a life full of blessings like many people never experience even once. I do manage to catch a break now and then, but it's usually because I have learned how to look at something and FIND the blessing in it rather than whining. There's a flip side to everything.

That's how I see this Korean thing. There's nothing like a united stand against anybody who even thinks about touching us to bring a country together. If there is another war, I believe it will be the last...or at least the beginning of the end. There is so much anger and power in the military worldwide and charismatic leaders can bring a new generation up in a decade. Never forget the power of Hitler, and I'm not talking Obama ya'll. Meanwhile all the people on Wall Street and at ConAgra and Monsanta and WalMart continue to ply us with both dangerous and imported goods. Walden's Pond is probably all dried up and it makes me sad to think about Don Henley singing of that natural treasure so many years ago. I know the landscape of this farm has changed dramatically to handle more crops and the chemical runoff goes into the river that serves our town and empties into the mighty Mississippi. Yeah, nifty huh? I don't care how many times you've seen Pollyanna, that's messed up. I read somewhere today about a memorial to the Vietnam war 40 years later. If you ask me (and nobody did) that messed up the soldiers about the same way ten years in Iraq and Afghanistan have. And we fail to take care of them when they come home wounded. Shame on us.

Still no sugardaddy so I'm giving up on that one and will settle for somebody who pays their own way and isn't crazy. How quickly that has landed me in trouble over the years! But that was then and this is now. BG and I have a comfy sort of thing going on with our end of life care situation, holding each other up when times are hard and old people act like little kids. We referee and console. We cook and run up and down the road a million times, just like my brother. In short, we caretake which is fortunately a very strong family trait. I've learned over the years that both sides of my family have skeletons rattling that come around to haunt me now and then on a regular basis.

My mother's friend Doris had a solution for the end of the war in Iraq which I thought was simply splendid. Her suggestion was to let about a hundred screechy sopranos loose on the jihadists and they would be running for the hills. She's one of my childhood icons and owned the first Merle Norman franchise here. As a teenager I seriously loved going into fairyland upstairs and touching all the high dollar stuff. One of my favorite pieces is a tiny cutglass perfume bottle from there which was left when my grandmother died.

We are who we are because of where we've been and who guided us. We become the one that Big Ernie planned before we were born as we embrace change and let go of hate and malice. Human survival is not worth losing humanity for. If you ask me we'll probably see some kind of cannibal survivor series by next year. That's how much we are stuck on winning.

Not me dude. Carry on ^j^

Friday, April 5, 2013

bless all our little hearts

We are sleeping with puppies now who wake up ready to play and bite and make it impossible to sleep in. BG rolled out first today and we promptly put our respective pups out for potty. Still on the learning curve, they're playing hit and miss with the pads. The feed bill has gone down tremendously since the other four found homes. A 40# bag was on sale when I went to pick up my crazy pills and that's a pretty heavy load for one gal. In the rain. Again. Will it never cease?? Locally there was something to commemorate the great flood of '10 which was the first of two in two years, on exactly the same date in May. How about that stuff?

Since I started this post I've done the usual up and down opening doors for dogs and chatting with relatives via social media. Janice is really a "by proxy" cousin but we are so much alike it's scary sometimes. Old hippies and animal lovers. Naturalists, if you will. She's very conservative politically so we just don't discuss that. It's the best way to ruin a good relationship, you know? Also since I started this little piece, I slept and woke up to a glorious sunny spring morning with (hopefully) the worst of the winter behind us. I considered using the gas money on flowers but decided to wait until I get paid and can go wander aimlessly. Today I've been out tromping around with choppers untangling honeysuckle from every little thing and some other kind of evil vine from all the rest. Still no asparagus. I remember having spears in February the first spring after we made the bed. It's been a steady producer since then unless the roundup got 'em.

Plans are made to be changed and so what was to be a trip to Cracker Barrel on BF's dime turned into an ER visit for BG and her friend. I didn't want to tell her but GEEZ I hate the thought of going into an interstate based chain at lunch or dinner time even if they do have cute stuff and rocking chairs to wait in. I see some takeout coming on. Thanks BF! We shared the bounty last night with our friend and her kids, serving up pork tenderloin also purchased by said BF. Lord knows, I try to pay it all forward because that's how I was raised. While dropping off meds I had a sidebar with Ms. Faye and she shared that they're still fighting like little kids over stupid stuff. Mom can be such a control freak and hasn't really accepted the fact that daddy's in lala land most of the time. As long as he's left to his schedule, he's fine. She's just pouting because he won't pay attention to her. *sigh* Honestly, I believe she's finally gotten up the balls to get mad over being a good girl all her life and putting herself last. Thank goodness I did that in my thirties. I've had lotso' years to practice being a bitch.

Gotta go post precious pics of the last two puppies chilling on the back steps. These too must go. Or at least one of 'em. More later on that.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

just chillin'

I've only worked three days in a row but it seems like about ten because so much has been going on. We had a disaster drill today and it was interesting watching as outside agencies worked with us and critiqued our response. We are right smack in the middle of tornado alley and also sit on a large fault called the New Madrid which means we are probably safe in case of nuclear attacks (for a few days until the fallout drifts) but very likely to receive damage from a twister or major earthquake. All entrances to our county are surrounded by tributaries of the Mighty Mississippi so if the bridges go, we're screwed. An island, so to speak. Our regular blood supply is out of Jackson so that would be out of the question. I remember during the "big one" that flood in 2010 where I also died in the back of a crackhead's pickup truck. People between Nashville and all of west Tennessee had to wait for roads to clear after the 13 inch rain. Then when the rain stopped, the mighty headwater headed towards the rest of the Forked Deer. It has a lot of forks ;)

Still no sun and more rain in the forecast. I gave up tanning about five years ago but I'm tempted to crawl in a bed just to warm up. I noticed a lot of my early blooming flowers failed to show this year and are just big bunches of green. I'm pretty sure I let 'em die back last year before mowing, but I could be wrong. There are these cute little baby's breath bushes outside of BG's room that got chopped at severely in the fall so they're kinda stark looking. Not even a SIGN of asparagus yet, which is unusual. Maybe global warming has been reversed!

I am appalled at the infighting currently going on this world and seriously wondering if all these cyber-attacks on banks aren't some kind of power rangers getting back all that they stole from us over the years. The banking industry, as a whole, has profited more off the backs of the average worker than any other sector except healthcare. Ya'll do the math. Wall Street collapsed because of inappropriate oversight involving greedy bastards wanting more and more and when the whole thing went down? They were off free as a bird, still rich and working class America lost their retirement. Happened in the 80's too.

That is why I'm glad I have an artist in my soul somewhere, always trying to get out through one venue or another. Writing and photography are both passions for me as well as preserving the past through antiques. They are fun things, and if I can figure out how to make a few bucks in the process so be it. I just don't ever want the pressure of having to do it to eat because the financial stability isn't there most of the time. Plus I don't have equipment that is um, how you say? Easy to work with. There's a new laptop headed my way from WA as BJ and Risible attempt to get through their current hurdle with his health and her hovering. Love ya girl..mean it. Sometimes I wonder what I could do if I had all the time in the world to devote to writing. I'd probably be outside digging!


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

lurking as sport

There are some folks evidently who get their jollies stalking others on the interwebs causing mayhem all around. For the life of me I can't understand why Big Ernie picked Nigeria as the internet cafe kingdom of the world. That is precisely where the printed UPS label that was sent to me was headed with all the "stuff" that this person somewhere or another had shipped to me to "forward". Never mind that I was young and innocent when it came to chat rooms. This guy could talk a real deal! First he sent me a teddy bear with flowers and a mushy card. Then came the goods: digital camera, nice cell phone, several pairs of shoes and I can't remember what else. Day after day this continued and I opened them one by one, all addressed to Prince Fred at my address. The problem came when i refused to ship the (obviously) stolen goods to the Nigerian address because I was calling the law. Dude got seriously in a twit and started threatening me by email and calling me at work using an ATT operator who was supposed to be helping the sight impaired. She then proceeded to tell me 2nd hand to "send me my stuff or else" and then explained to me how the whole operator assisted keyboard thing works. That's when I threw up my hands and called the local sheriff's office. My friend was sheriff then and one of his investigators came out to see what was up. He looked around at all those boxes and said for me to keep the stuff if I wanted to. He was acting on authority of homeland security. But NOOOOOOO I was such a damn good girl I boxed it all back up and returned it on my dime. Didn't want any part of it. Count Z told me at the time that I had a lot of good karma coming, and he was right. I've been blessed beyond belief in ways that I can't even begin to remember until something jogs my memory. Blog fairy is just one of the many folks with whom I've never had facetime yet count as the ones who are holding me up.

BG's car is running again but needs more work which is definitely not in the budget but has to be done. Even though hers is newer than mine, it's american made and made a kazillion road trips to UTM, a two hour commute when she was a social work student. At that point she had a full time gig at a hotel on the graveyard shift and went straight from there to classes. Not much sleeping went on but she was young and determined. It was a rude awakening to find that mental health in general but particularly for-profit providers were grossly understaffed. She was assigned a regular case load but also give responsibility for start up of group meetings for at risk kids it the local middle schools. There was one here and one ten miles down the road. About three months in she was the first responder to a horrific wreck on the interstate as she was going to visit a client. The young woman died with her as they waited for the ambulance. She then went on to visit the client and come home howling and sobbing with hysteria. I certainly know the feeling. After that her bosses who were not at friendly people decided to throw another employee under the bus and add her groups (20 miles away) onto that already stretched agenda. Needless to say, she started to come unglued. I could look at her and tell that she had never really grieved a thing in her life choosing instead to run and hide. The past two years have been a real trying time for us in every way and I'm so proud that we are finally true partners instead of boss and kid. As I said, others have criticized me for that but I see it as only a plus.

One of my old friends at work lost her son to suicide over the weekend and my heart just aches for her. She is in the top 5 of nurses that I totally respect and would trust with my life. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child, period. It just doesn't seem like the right order of things, ya know. I have come to believe though, over time, that when your number is up it doesn't matter what the situation, it will happen. That's why faith is such a nifty thing and gives us freedom from fear. I try to remind myself every once in awhile what I would do if I knew my life would be over today. Knowing me I'd be too busy making a list of things to do and run out of time.

Still gray, dreary and SLEETING??? on April 2nd. I mean really? This is Tennessee ya'll. We're already past the "snow on Easter" stories so let's move onto some sun. Not your typical summer heat and humidity, mind you. Just sunshine. I feel like I've been trapped in this house for ages even as I go through the motions of working and whatever the hell else I do. I want to plant something dammit! I did a tour today with some locals in a leadership group explaining exactly what, how and why we do what we do in the lab. They were so totally interested and this one chick was like a little kid wanting to look in forbidden places and asked tons of questions. I love those kind of minds! I don't know your name girl, but you made my day.

We are waiting for the rain to slack off prior to the ceremonial burning of the Bizzle house now that it sits empty of anything worth having. Most of it is in my living room/office which was actually clean before that project filled it back up. There is organization thoughout, and actual piles with intentions. It's time to pass on some heirlooms and share the joy. The freakiest thing is having my mother's girl scout uniform and wedding dress hanging in here staring at me day after day. They are both in mint condition after 60 years. Her ADK beanie hangs above somebody's antique crochet dress. Cool as shit, ya'll. The timing has been wonderful as I needed the money from the scrap and wanted to go through the family stuff. None of said profit has made its' way to my account yet, but I have faith.

My class, the Dyersburg High School class of '73 will be celebrating a 40 year reunion this year. Oh lord, what happened to youth. At the ten year I was one of a handful who already didn't have little kids and by 20 and 30 it was all about us remembering and having a good time. Ya'll better watch out kids. Who knows what will get blogged about the big event!


Monday, April 1, 2013

pap smears and april fools

It FINALLY quit raining and the sun is shining brightly for this first day of April. I could have slept twelve hours again but it was time to hit the sawmill and earn part of a living. The only thing worse than having a pap smear done is one when you've had a bad day at work and don't feel like having that particular experience at that point in time and would rather have a cocktail. Since I had already re-scheduled, I had to show up and spread 'em. HPV is the cause of cervical cancer and my doc always tests for it when a pap turns up ASCUS or low grade. All of that staging changed in the eighties from a scale of 1 to whatever to something to really worry about. Of course they're all being performed by mass manufactured testing labs. Maybe I can get a job with them as a blood bank lady.

Natives are restless everywhere I turn these days. Daddy got over his hissy fit of yesterday and proceeded to endure BG's presence for a couple of hours today. Baby steps, ya'll. When Mama and I got the giggles yesterday I looked over at her eyes and noticed that they are gray, not something I've ever had on my radar. They were dancing with joy and matched her Easter outfit perfectly. She has this spirit that will live on in every daughter niece or cousin who remembers her as the ultimate entertainer and creator of fun.

Coming from the time before Al Gore invented the internet I was about five years behind on technology when my parents bought me a used PC on clearance from the local community college. That was when cell phones were mostly still in bags too. Anywhooo..I've enjoyed Facebook and Spotify and all the apps that I choose which aren't many because really? What's the point. I read the other day that Zuckerburg is paying a billion in taxes, more or less, and then my dear friend's daughter had the audacity today to insult her mother right up there on her page in front of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and Big Ernie and everybody. I had to take the liberty to msg her that she looked really stupid doing that kind of shit. I don't need your drama bitch....I've got my own.

I'm thinking that I may have found a sugardaddy or at least somebody who's not gonna make me work my ass off and let my brain do the earning. I still have the old phone,battery dying slowly so that whatever contacts I had are lost forever unless they happen to call me. That's okay though. New phone..new chapter of life. I'll keep you posted.