Saturday, May 25, 2019

adventures in caregiving

Today found me sitting with a client at a rehab facility.  I'll spare the details because of privacy but I've gotta tell you it takes a special breed to do that kind of work day in and day out.  As with all medical facilities it is fast paced, understaffed and you never know what's going to happen next.  Cheers to all y'all, especially Angie Hale.  

Yesterday while Lauren and I were trying to get screaming little Reaves to sleep I decided to try singing to her.  You know, calm the savage beast and all.  I started with You are my Sunshine, followed by Amazing Grace.  It worked for about three minutes but after that it was on like donkey kong again.  She loves music and loves to dance especially when you shake your bootie along with her. I remember my old friend Iris telling me that she recognized the same look in little Lauren's eyes that her son had.  And Reaves has that same look.  A mix between pure angelic joy and trouble waiting to happen.

I found it ironic to be sitting in a nursing home re-reading Ira Byock's book Dying Well.  This man was hospice before it was cool as in Missoula Demonstration Project.  He expertly shares cases of all the different issues involved in death with an emphasis on family support.  It's not just the dying patient who is suffering except in rare cases.  He focuses on dignity and honor.  Various ways to intertwine the philosophy through conversations where he gives people options are way cool.  The one guy I read about today was unable to eat without choking due to ALS.  Eating was an ordeal for him because he couldn't swallow without choking and that was his biggest fear.  Dr Byock asked him why he kept eating if it was an unpleasant experience which led to not eating as an option or tube feeding to prolong life. And then taking away fluids.

All of these are discussions that occur simultaneously when someone knows they are dying.  To me, the most important thing is to mend relationships and share the love before it's too late.  Assisted suicide aka euthanasia is available  in certain states that allow it and I respect that.  But still?  I think most of the regrets and joys should be tended to.  

Yes I am eat up with the hospice philosophy because I've been a healthcare provider for 40 plus years and people need help navigating the system.  My friend Risible Girl volunteered with a hospice group in her area and loved it.  People need the active support approaching the end but after as well.  That is what expressing grief and releasing anger does to free a wounded soul.

Peace out ~

Friday, May 24, 2019

hell on wheels

Reaves and I actually read a couple of books this morning and played.  There were people in and out all day so she didn't get down for her nap on time thus she turned into a drama queen refusing to lay down or take a bottle.  There had been older girls around and they just love playing chase with her which got her wired to the max.  By the time I got back to the 'burg, Lauren sent me a picture of her sleeping soundly.  I knew she would give it up once we all cleared out.  One brave neighbor pulled all the poison ivy out of the tree right in front of Lauren's door.  Thank you dear!

Traffic was light considering it's the beginning of a holiday weekend.  That had kinda' sorta' slipped my mind until yesterday.  Time flies!  No festivities planned here.  Just another day in paradise.  

I spoke yesterday about the tragedy that has affected many in our community.  Landon was killed in a car accident earlier in the week and it has hit a lot of us hard.  Both of his parents and his grandmother are former co-workers of mine and my heart bleeds for them.  It was a terrible freakish accident.  I cannot imagine the grief.

Of all things to lose, the latest is my hairbrush.  It's somewhere in this house unless Ellie scooped it up and ran with it.  Luckily I have a very low maintenance cut.  

Y'all grill to your heart's content and bring me a plate.

Thursday, May 23, 2019


Once again our community has been hit with a terrible tragedy.  The child of two of my former co-workers was killed in a car accident.  His grandma is also a friend and we worked together for a long time.  There are no words to bring comfort to this family in their time of tragic loss.  Prayers are going up by the minute.  

ATT guy showed up and got me going again but there's going to have to be a whole new line laid in the near future.  As it turns out he is the son of my neighbors with the front yard cemetery where I will be buried.  Small world.  The road crew is busy busy busy and it's hot as hades.  I ventured out for a few errands and stopped by The Mill for some Roy Boy's BBQ.  Delicious!  I got the Piggyback which is a sandwich topped with bacon, cheese and sauce.  They will be at The Mill every Thursday.  Go check 'em out!

It makes me happy to see so many food trucks around because I like to support small businesses.  

Y'all try to stay cool.  It's a scorcher out there!

Wednesday, May 22, 2019


I had a busy day, in a very good way.  I got some exercise, made a commitment to keep doing it and went to eat Mexicans for lunch.  I'll be missing Friday due to a date with my girls but there's always next week.  

I went out toward Roellen to Keith and Vicki's to borrow a sander and ended up spending porch time with both of them plus Paislee.  Lord, the tales we could tell on that porch, most of them on ourselves.  

I found a special delivery on my porch when I got home.  One of the dogs ate my first Rivergator poster after it fell out of the frame.  I asked John Ruskey of Quapaw Canoe to hook me up with another one so now I have both the north AND south versions.  Plus a very cool smaller one.  It was hard to believe that it's been ten years since I bought that original print.  

I just love river people, always have.  The ones I admire a lot are the ones who take the time to make a difference in the trash and debris.  Like tires.  Who the hell throws a tire in a river????

Due to rain, there was no activity with the big machines today but they're still parked out here raring to go.  We shall see.

Over and out from the lane ^j^

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

not meant to blog

Mysteriously overnight I lost my DSL connection so I had some quality time with tech support this morning.  Fine, I'll just hot spot.  I hit some wrong key that was striking through everything so I had to log out and back in to get rid of that.  Tech support said there is indeed a problem with my line.  It may or may not have something to do with all the road scraping going on.  They have doubled the size of the lane which is, as Martha would say "A good thing."  I'm assuming tar and chip will come next.  There has barely been room for two cars to pass each other much less a tractor rig.  

I'm behind on the news but sounds like Kelly Ripa is leaving the show which I hate because I really like she and Ryan together.  Not that I get to watch it anymore, but......

I still have piles but you can navigate now and it's somewhat in order.  I'm making piles for everybody in the family to share the joy.  They're gonna' hate me for that but I've had this stuff for a loooooong time.  I'll be having a sale and what doesn't go will be put on Etsy.  There is a mountain of clothes and shoes to be loaded into the Camry for transport to Aspell.  Really good stuff too!

There's a lot of rage going around about the abortion bans.  What I'm seeing is that instead of seeking solutions to prevent pregnancy, conservatives are getting hysterical about when life begins.  My challenge to you is to quit your judging and look for ways to be pro-active on the issue.  This is about a woman's right to make choices regarding her own body.  Not the government's choice but her own.  

Somehow I have missed PTT with Kristen today.  Either she's sick or broadcasting late.  Either way, we'll catch up.  Trae Crowder got off of GoT and back to politics which is what I like.  I've not watched one episode of the show so I don't get it.  I finished up season 2 of Handmaid's Tale yesterday in preparation for new stuff.  You forget how things end sometimes even though you've watched it.  

Make America peaceful again.  That's my mantra.  Pay it forward like that rich dude who paid off the student loans at Morehouse.  I'm still on the mailing list for my alma mater University of Tennessee HSC in Memphis.  I particularly loved the story about the IT guy who is graduating in the MLS class of 2019. Those dual talents will serve him and the community well.

Unlike many Dems, I'm not having a hissy fit to impeach Trump.  I'd rather see the state of New York lock him up and seize his assets.  That would be justice.

Happy a wonderful day and play nice even when others don't.  The next right thing is always what's up.

Peace ~


Monday, May 20, 2019


You know the old saying that you have to make a mess to clean one up?  Lorna and I worked hard ALL day going through my two front rooms and making order out of chaos.  She's a master at it and I needed to be pushed.  If it was broken, it got pitched.  There's a glass box and a pile to be burned sacredly.  We saged all the rooms got good measure.  That living room has the most beautiful view and it hasn't been usable for years.  Now I have a place to meditate.  There are still mountains of photo albums to go through but at least they're organized.  Baby steps.

The county road department showed up early this morning with a caravan to scrape the lane.  There were five vehicles at first count.  They've been at it all day and I'm assuming tar and chip will come next.  Johnny and Billy were all prepared to help me clear out the metal stuff in the yard but they couldn't get through.  

Lorna brought me a piece of quartz from her collection and a shell to burn sage in.  I'm going to sleep with the quartz by my bed for the full moon.  It was gorgeous last night.  

Stay happy, healthy and humble. Love ya....mean it ^j^

Sunday, May 19, 2019

resting evil face

High five to Colin Jost for coining that term.  And also for his empowering hilarious interview with Leslie Jones.  I will seriously miss that show this summer but luckily there are many more seasons to revisit.  Plus Handmaid's Tale is coming.  I've watched Dead to Me twice.  It's a must see.

I went to Lowe's and spent the grocery money on a pint of chalk paint for the dressing table in a beautiful muted coral shade.  I look for colors now that make me happy.  Life is short.

No news here except more rain and the squash is up.  There are more than likely a lot of snakes out there so I step carefully.  I know they're nice and all but they creep me out.

Watch your step ~

Saturday, May 18, 2019

the anti-troll

Well, changing abortion laws, particularly in southern states, are all the rage right now.  There is not an easy answer to this dilemma and it is distinctly personal.  That being said I believe that a woman has a right to terminate a pregnancy and that right was established by a SCOTUS ruling when I was a senior in high school.  I am pro-choice and witnessed a lot of horrendous situations prior to that ruling.  

Here's what I think.  If you are against abortion, don't get one.  It's as easy as that.  It is not your job to judge others for their choices. What is so totally ridiculous is that cuts to PP have resulted in less access to birth control which would go a long way toward preventing the whole mess.  I respect those who are against abortion and I am not about to try and change anybody's mind.  I do resent the government stepping in and slapping down laws that take away a woman's right to choose.  Take for instance the "except for rape and incest" clause.  It is well known that rape and incest are quite often not reported.  And even so, how do you prove it if it happens.  Women are required following a sexual assault to go to the hospital and have hospital personnel  and law enforcement do a "rape kit."  And it must be done pretty quickly during a period when the woman is freaked the eff out.  

It is about choice, not retribution or punishment.  I do not believe in late term abortions unless the mother's life is in danger.  If you've gone that far, go ahead and either raise the child or put it up for adoption.  Is there a fetal heartbeat at 8 weeks?  Maybe.  But that fertilized egg is not sustainable for many more months outside the mother's body.  And then there's the IVF issue.  Old dude in AL said that the frozen embryos "don't count" because they're not in a woman's body.  That, my friends, is bullshit.  

I am well aware that many do not take precautions to not get pregnant and use abortion as a form of birth control.  This is hogwash too.  Man or woman up and take responsibility for your sexual activity so that an unwanted pregnancy doesn't happen.   Birth control is cheap and easy and comes in a variety of methods.  Just pick one.

My friend in Alabama remarked yesterday that she feels like she's living in an episode of The Handmaid's Tale.  If you think about it, we are moving closer and closer to Gilead as a reality and I believe that far right conservatives would love nothing better.  These folks are all high and mighty and hell bent on Trump as the best president ever.  I won't get into that.

The guys from Damascus came out and picked up some furniture this morning so my living room is much more navigable.  As for me, I'll be sparking joy!

Come together ~

Friday, May 17, 2019

several pages in time

Everywhere high school seniors are being honored for making it through 12 years.  My home church honors them and there was a page with all their pictures in this week's newsletter.  I was shocked to find that I only know three of them, and only because I know their parents.  We are due for a new minister following AC.  Never a dull moment in the UMC, ya' know.  

I have seen my cousin Jonathan about a hundred times at Kroger in the past months.  It's something like third twice removed but still.  I got out with some bargains and only spent 45 bucks.  I'm becoming incredibly easy to feed.  Cooking = dirty dishes. With no dishwasher.  

Things are heating up out there and the 'maters are loving it.  No sign of squash yet so I got some at the store to fry with onion.  Every little treat counts!  Today's blessing was a long conversation with my friend Sue about life and stuff.  I miss her like a LOT.  Also the Little General. 

No mail for two days means no bills for two days.  I'm feeling blessed indeed ^j^

Thursday, May 16, 2019

cut 'em loose

My friend Larry has been in the hospital for a week so I stopped by this morning just as he was packing up to go home!  Praise be.  He has been under the watchful eye of many different non-card playing nurses and doctors trying to figure out what's wrong.  He left and after running a few errands I joined him in the shady flower garden with his cat Lily.  She was beside herself for things to be normal again.  Mr. Parks and Peanut came over and joined us.  

I dropped off a couple of windows for a trade deal with window woman Laurie Ann.  I gave her one and she's gonna' paint the other one for a wedding gift.  I love a good trade.  I'm buying rubber totes as the budget allows and getting ready to for real tackle this house.  Some folks are picking up unused furniture on Saturday which will give me more room to work and create.  On the calendar in the next month are mammogram and PAP smear.  I'm taking it in baby steps but I'll get there.  

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

hot dog!

I've had a leisurely morning visiting on the porch with my brother and another friend,  enjoying the moderate sunny weather while it lasts.  After they left I headed up to The Mill Workspace where Chris has been hosting various food trucks.  Today it was The Hot Dog Hut and it's the best dog I've ever had.  Huge and pure beef Nathan's.  I ate half and saved the rest.

The cold is lingering but slowly getting better.  I sound like I have a bucket on my head and keep a roll of toilet paper nearby at all  times.  I can literally feel the energy of the transitioning that is going on in my life right now.  It kind of reminds me of when a snake sheds its' skin or a butterfly breaks out of the cocoon.  

My heart bleeds for farmers.  I think since I grew up around agriculture I am acutely aware of how they depend on that crop to keep the business going.  I remember more than once my mother telling me "not until after the crop is done."  That's where you found the money to trade in an ancient car on something a little better.  Same for farm equipment.  Lest you forget, our nation was formed as a result of unfair taxes and tariffs.  Let that sink in.

I have discovered quinoa and I love it.  Eating healthy is becoming more and more or a priority to keep my gut on track, so to speak.  Probiotics.  Colloidal silver.  Calms. Oregano oil. And the list goes on.  The way I see it treating myself naturally will help me NOT to need those (possibly poisoned) pharmaceuticals some day.  


Sunday, May 12, 2019

yo' momma

Everyone who knew my mother loved her.  Raised in an upper middle class family she just oozed the social grace of a properly raised Southern young lady.  She was 21 years old when I was born.  One of her biggest regrets was not finishing college but Daddy had to get his finished and they had an infant so there you go.  In 1956 they moved our little family into that infamous red log cabin.  I led a charmed life as a child growing up on a farm.  As my personality took a detour during the early teen years,  she supported my decision not to join the local sorority even though she had been president.  Every little quirk that showed up she embraced.  Well, almost all of them.  I had a rebellious side that she could not grasp because women back in her day didn't think like that.  Decisions were made by men.  

Mama worked at several different places but the one I remember best is the newspaper.  She was society editor and columnist and I guarantee you every social event she covered was told in all its' thrilling detail.  She was so much help to me when Lauren was born and after.  She stayed with me for the first week because my husband was a 3rd shifter.  She had found her sweet spot which was being a grandmother.  I cried the first night I was alone with the baby.  I was scared and didn't really know what I had gotten into.  I was 29 at the time and most others had already hatched a few.  In fact, I was told a month before I became pregnant that I couldn't get that way.  Hmmm.  Things happen in God's time.

Every little thing was a special occasion to Mama.  We  celebrated every holiday, birthday and happening that came around.  I remember finding her sitting on the steps at the back of the church prior to my wedding and she didn't seem quite right.  Turns out she had taken an allergy med and was wonky as a goose.  Yet the show went on.  She kept Lauren like, a LOT giving me time to enjoy myself.  Most Friday nights were hers.  When Lauren was 2 we went on a week long trip to explore southeastern Tennessee and the rivers.  Dat baby got the chicken pox while we were gone and I've never heard anybody so relieved to hear I was headed home.  She was devoted to many including her long running bridge club.  One of my favorite things about her is how her faith and sense of service gave her the spirit to volunteer for many years post retirement. I'm trying to channel some of that right now.

She was a Republican but back then ain't what it is now.  I think when the whole Nixon thing went down she sort of softened up on that.  No longer "party loyal" as they say.  I was in high school by then and totally against the Vietnam war.  Neither one of my parents understood this.  Valor. Honor.  I just didn't see the point of invading another country and putting our own soldiers at risk because of the draft.  You want to sign up?  Go for it.  

Both of my parents volunteered with Lifeline Blood Services which is the blood supplier we used at the hospital.  That was a very unique and strong bond for us that remains.  Mama knew everybody or if she didn't, knew somebody who did.  My friend Kay the funeral director used to call her asking who was kin to who how.  She always had an answer.

Three days before Lauren was born I started having irregular contractions.  Called the hospital.  They said wait.  Mucous plug was gone and the contractions, though not regular, were excruciating.  I was over it and ready to get 'er done so I went in for a 12 hour labor with a baby girl who was in the early stages of distress....meconium staining.  We lived right down the street.  I distinctly remember when we left there two days later a cool front had come through.  Even a bit chilly.

The six weeks flew by with us spending hours on the front porch swing.  I will never forget that experience as long as I live.  The preacher came by with the rose that was on the pulpit in honor of her in spite of the fact that I had not attended in many years.  She was blessed to be raised in the church family even though she ended up being in one of the most hellacious  SS classes ever to hit FUMC.  Hey.  You know who you are!

I am grateful for the gifts my mother left with me like cooking, a love of writing and photography.  As I go through boxes of her way back family pics, I meet her once again...the child I never knew.  I am also incredibly proud of my own daughter for being such an awesome mother.  She is softer than I was and more in tune with herself unless she's on a cleaning binge.  Then you better watch out.

I love us ^j^

Saturday, May 11, 2019

moving forward

I have the cold from hell but I will survive.  Today's errands were short and sweet with a visit in between to put Tracy's angel on Mama's grave.  I probably won't make it with flowers tomorrow.  Who knows?  Maybe after church when everybody and their mama'n'them visit the graveyard.  

Some jerk decided to dump a giant piece of metal on the side of the road yesterday.  I just assumed it was a piece off of some farm equipment that surfaced but I was wrong.  It's a river buoy that was hit by a barge.  We assume that it was taken to the shady scrapyard up the road and they wouldn't touch it.  Federal property and all that.

I have these friends who are in Turkey right now and I'm enjoying their eastern Europe tour vicariously.  If you can't join them at least enjoy the pictures!

I'm getting ramped up to spread joy.  Please join me.

Friday, May 10, 2019

not so sweet memories

In my forty years at the hospital I went through two conversions: one from paper to LIS and another from one LIS to another less user friendly product.  Seven hospitals were bought and converted.  The installer told me that normally they do the training and code building prior to go live.  For some unknown reason (money) they way it went for us was that superusers were selected from each hospital in selected areas.  I was one of them and we traveled to Jackson for three months to work prior to our go live.  To say it was a cluster is an understatement.  People from one area were building tests and attaching charge codes for another area where they had no experience.  The transfusion service module was rolled out three months later much to our dismay.  It was like going from a Cadillac to a junkyard car.

I visited my friend at the hospital today and noticed that things were moving kinda'slow.  That's because THEY just went live with a much better system which is still a headache.  Just remember if you get frustrated there may be something going on behind the scenes you never know about.  It's a learning curve people.  

I ran some errands today and now I'm back to the chaos that is home.  We shall fix that soon.  

Peace and Grace

Thursday, May 9, 2019

trying again

I left for work in a freakin' monsoon this morning.  All was well until the windows started fogging up and I can't ever remember whether to turn it on cool or warm so I set it in the middle and drove down 78 wiping it off so I could see.  The lort' was with me and I made it safely.  The rain passed and didn't start again until I was on the way home.  I got to spend relaxing time with  my buddies listening to geese and watching people fish while the turtles did their thing.  Since there was little sun they mostly stayed in the water.

I started re-reading a book from the past by Ira Byock entitled "Dying Well".  My heart seems to be pulled toward hospice and palliative care more and more because I see how many opportunities are wasted to have quality time at the end of life.  Doing the grief work proactively makes the "end" so much more peaceful for the patient, family and caregivers.  Like the author, I've witnessed a lot of horrendous deaths simply because there was no advocate available.  Like Dr. Byock did with his father, I filled that role with  my parents.  And even with all I've seen over the years?  It still wasn't easy.

I'm looking forward to going to church again.  And also to figuring out what I'm gonna' be when I grow up.  Y'all keep the faith ^j^

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

bumper crop

 I have no idea what’s going on with blogger but it’s irritating.  I will get my buddy Rachel to show me what’s up.  We celebrated Mother’s day yesterday with lots of play and take out from Tulum.  The plan was to go out but Reaves had a meltdown over putting on shoes so there you go.  I took her a toy chest that Lorna donated and she immediately filled it with all the balls from her inflatable pit and then jumped in and kicked up a storm.  She called me Gaga again.  When she thought I was leaving she was like “nonononono.” 
My exercise today was a walk on the lane where I noticed that the pecan trees are loaded with tassels after two barren years.  I’ll be having to run off the thieves this fall.  People never cease to amaze me.
I’m going to stay away from all the hot topics like the royal baby, school shootings and what’s going on in Congress.  Instead I will focus on gratitude and forgiveness.  There were no “school shootings” back in my day or even in Lauren’s.  What worries me these days is the safety of my granddaughter.  She can get away from you in a heartbeat and there are evil people everywhere.  I can’t imagine how I would handle it, or how anyone does. 
I found a little ceramic angel that my mother’s nurse sent to her funeral and I plan to put it on her tombstone for Mother’s day.   Over the years I have realized that even if you are not a birth mother, every woman can be a bonus mama.  I did it with a lot of Lauren’s friends who couldn’t talk to their own.   We chatted yesterday about how our relationship is so different than mine was with my own mother.  I was determined at an early age to show her unconditional love and acceptance.  The boundaries, I didn’t do so great with but live and learn. 
Call your mother ^j^

Monday, May 6, 2019

a brand new day

Things change, that's for sure.  My friend Carol has invited me numerous times and today I checked it out.  Just my speed.  And I'll go back because this old body needs it.  Lauren told me about another binge worthy show which I'm hooked on. Dead to Me.  It's awesome.

I have done something to wonkify my laptop to where I have trouble typing because it keeps inserting stuff and highlighting without my direction.  Who the heck knows! Until that is resolved blogs will be short and sweet.  As in have a Marvelous Monday y'all


Saturday, May 4, 2019

sometimes i think "well"

And sometimes I just don't know.  That was one of my favorite sayings from Coop.  She used to be married to Roger and lived in a tar paper shack somewhere in Crockett county.  By the time I met her we were both lab techs at Parkview Hospital and she was chemistry supervisor.   That was in 1977 I believe.  She had been in a terrible wreck driving a small speedster and ended up with one leg shorter than the other resulting in a perpetual limp.   We got into a lot of mischief together over the years.  

I have always been proud to be a resident of the great state of Tennessee and I remain one. However, there's some really nasty stuff that went on in the latest legislative session which concerns me greatly.  As for the voucher program?  Please refer back to the early days of TennCare when the Ford family raped and pillaged what was a workable plan for healthcare delivery, daycare and more.  The Fords took the daycare piece.  Pharma took the rest.  You can Google this shit and learn it all in a  heartbeat.  I lived it.  Healthcare is a basic human right.As for public education in our state, Bill Lee has crawled right up into Betsy's lap for a nice little stripping of public school funding.  Y'all be happy and blessed ^j^

Friday, May 3, 2019

creeper alert

For the 2nd day in a row there has been a silver car on our lane.  Today the person looped all the way around the circular driveway of a neighbor.  I got a text.  I reported it.  Creeper now has a paper trail with Dyer county dispatch.  Haven't seen patrol yet but let' hope they get right on it.  When I was coming and going from town I noticed the gate open so I knew whoever there was legit.  I stopped and visited with Wade and told him about yesterday's adventure.  He told me tales of what the hands find out in the field.  Like clothes and stuff.  We talked about the flooding crisis threatening crops all over the Midwest.  We are at risk here too until the Mighty Mississippi hits its' crest at 41.   

The tornado activity went north of me yesterday and scared the bejesus out of Lake County.  Just a week after a 3.6 quake!  Bless 'em.  Heck, bless us all.

As for me, I will be locking my doors and sleeping with the Navy seal knife.  And finishing an obligation before I begin the next chapter.  Peace and love ^j^

Thursday, May 2, 2019

lust on the lane

I had an early appointment to get my car worked on so I met Lorna at the shop on East Court and she picked me up.  We came back out to my house to unload some stuff and were here maybe ten minutes before we headed back to town.  As we got closer to the dairy barn I spotted a car backed into the entrance to the locked gate.  As we got closer I could see that it was some old white guy going at it in the back seat.  Umm. We honked and screamed and otherwise raised hell.  Dude jumped out and opened his trunk and I was just SURE he was gonna' pull out a gun so we moseyed on down the road and waited for him to come out.  There's only one way.  He had pulled a tarp from his trunk down over his plate so we couldn't see it.  

We followed him even after he turned into a residential area where he dropped off this very large black woman and left her standing in the street.  I wonder if she got paid or not?  Anywho, thanks to the disorganization that is our law enforcement dispatch when I called 911 I was told to call the county instead.  Alrighty then.  Called them, they said an officer could be sent to the 'hood we were in or I could just come in, which I did.  Only all deputies were out on patrol.  Hurry up and wait.  I was greeted pretty soon by Officer Seaton who is an old friend of the family and I proceeded to tell him my story and request extra patrol, which was granted.  Lerd.  I bet old dude got up and popped up a Viagra early for this date.  It was only 9AM.  

Lorna and I continued on our merry way having breakfast at Daves and shopping Pennington's and Stanfields.  My plant selection is complete.  Of course I had to have Stanley pick out my two 'mater plants.  It's a tradition.  

By then the car was done and it's quiet as a cat now.  It's been YEARS since I've been able to hear over the manifold noise.  There is a phase 2 that will be done when money allows.  

Praise Be ^j^

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

the arsenal

I'm building it daily and today's purchase was aloe vera juice which is a PRE biotic.  I've pretty much figured out what brought all this on if it wasn't fungicide.  I began taking a pro-biotic about 8 days prior to the onset of symptoms. I immediately quit them but what was happenings was sort of like a mini detox of the colon.  Everybody knows detox from anything is a bitch.  I am off of diet drinks and will have an occasional real coke or sprite.  Mostly it's water....and lots of it.  I can't believe I used to drink 2 liters a day of that poison crap.  

I noticed the funeral of my church friend Sharon going on as I passed by the church and I sent up a random prayer for the gathering.  Another saint up there traipsing around with my parents.  She and I did aerobics together 30 years ago with Marti as instructor in the fellowship hall of the church.  

Gotta see a guy about a car tomorrow. Robert Weldon has a reputation for being very reliable and honest.  I visited him a couple of weeks back about my manifold situation and he was way behind and I was broke so we're set for tomorrow. Of course he won't know until he gets in there but it will probably involve cleaning the fuel injectors and repairing the manifold.  300 buck estimate.  And then?  You won't be able to hear me coming from half a mile away.  

It's gonna be a rainy few days so whatever.  I'm not ready for the 90s yet and could stand a few more low 80s with cool nights.  I live for this kind of weather except for that pesky pollen.  

These latest school shootings have really hit me hard because I finally realize that the NRA is so powerful there will never be even an attempt at a fix.  Semi automatic weapons are designed to kill.  Period.  I've heard all the nit picky discussions about what constitutes a semi automatic and how hunters need them.  Fine then.  But for God's sake don't put them in the hands of deranged people by oversight.  The laws are there.  Enforce them.

Keep the faith ^j^

Tuesday, April 30, 2019


I had an appointment for a haircut this morning at 10 with marvelous Marla.  I haven't slept the night through for at least a week because of the gut pain.  Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 1130!  Oh my, did my body need that.  Marla understood and said come on in at 2.  Cool.  In the meantime I got an SOS call from a friend who was sick and needed to go home from his sitting job.  I told him I'd be there after the haircut.  I spent a  nice couple of hours on the deck overlooking Lakewood with one of my favorite ladies and the two dogs.  We listened and bird watched and enjoyed the breeze.  It didn't feel like 85 at all.  I heard doors slam and the puppy ears perked up.   Of course, it was their Mama Gay home from a trip.  I thought Huck was going to eat.her.up he was so happy.

I have explored and advised on all things gut health which includes probiotics, oregano oil, bone broth and coconut oil.  It's one of those things you don't consider until your ass gets in a crack, so to speak.  Emotional stress contributes to the problem and I really didn't realize how much I was stifling it.  It's important not to be in a toxic environment and sometimes you don't even realize you're there.  

I have been on some hills and valleys this past year that have convinced me that there's a reason for everything.  I don't push the envelope like I used to....trying to make things happen.  I just show up with a grateful attitude and wait for what's next.  

Namaste ~

Monday, April 29, 2019

strange dilemma

If you're like me and you go to the grocery story on an empty stomach you buy everything in sight.  I'm still recovering from that nasty bout of diverticulitis and all I could do was look for things that were bland and that I thought I could choke down.   You gotta eat.  While there I saw several friends including nurse Kathy and Dr JR.  He asked me to run up there and get a chem panel on 3N!  I told him if I wasn't retired I sure would.  He is such a kind and generous man that the one time he yelled at me I cried and thought I was not worthy.  He was just frustrated, like the rest of us.  I am so glad to not be up in all that drama.

That's about all I will accomplish today and it wore me out.  The steps to my house are enough to kill a horse and hauling most anything up them is marginally risky at best.  The older I get the more this will become a factor.  Thank goodness I have rails in front and back.  My iris and clematis are beginning to bloom but not quite on the peonies. They're my favorite.  

I'm having Reaves withdrawals like, bad.  Now that she's in daycare it's a whole lot more complicated.  Her mama, daddy and bonus mom keep me supplied with pictures.  I know my parents are getting a heavenly kick out of this and glowing with pride over their oldest granddaughter.  Lauren was an only child AND the only grandchild until she was in her twenties.  Talk about spoiled rotten.

As soon as it is available I will be sharing the flyer from my friend Julie's show.  She is the one who did Reaves' portrait.  Please follow her work and give support.  She is extremely talented and could use a break like all the rest of us.

Y'all play nice.  And if you can't SAY something nice, keep your trap shut.


Sunday, April 28, 2019

almost back from the dead

Whatever this evil thing is that has had me since 
Wednesday hasn't killed me but it didn't make me much stronger.  I  haven't been that sick and in that much pain in a very long time.  I have no idea what started it only that it was preceded by chills, low grade fever and unbearable abdominal pain.  For three nights I was up and down and up and down again trying to get some relief.  I fully intended to go to my friend Gary's show yesterday evening and when I got home from work I laid down for a couple of hours to see if it would pass.  Umm. No.  I got up, took a shower and was back in bed by six.  He'll never believe me in a thousand years because I bricked last time.  Oh well..we do what we can do.

Sounds like Baby Sussex is close to being here as the world  (besides me) anxiously,  I'm sure NBC Today will be all over it. I'm very proud of a Dyersburg local reporter for publishing a quite factual piece about the passage funding private schools, most of which are faith based.  The money for these vouchers comes from the money allocated to public school systems.  We have one private school locally and there are others scattered around in Jackson and whatnot.  

Here's the thing.  They are almost always formed by churches, which are tax exempt under US law.  Once again, separation of church and state.  I say if you want your kid to go to xyz charter school, you cough it up.  I have seen this happen with several friends in the middle income bracket.  Imagine if there were some things known as Muslim schools or something, you think DeVos would give them a voucher.  I think not.

I'm really pissed about this one because of the last minute delay and meddling that led to the outcome we have.  I mean, do these people think we're not watching?  It's good old boy politics as usual and we can't change it until we call somebody out.  Rachel did just that.  High five to some serious talent.


Friday, April 26, 2019


I know you're all just dying to know about my stomach ache so I'll make it brief.  For several weeks now I've had trouble with quite painful constipation, gas and other symptoms.  I went to the health food store and got a probiotic.  All was well for about a week and then it kicked in again yesterday.  So obviously my gut is confused.  I did some research on prebiotics and decided to try some drinkable fiber first.  We shall see if it all works out.  I can take a lot of pain but I put this right up there with labor. I was diagnosed years ago with IBS and actually took Librax for it back in the day before that became a nono. Now.  Wasn't that delightful?  You all know about Poopie's poo.  Sorry but that's about all that's been on my mind.  

We walked again today and it was still a challenge but we soldiered on.  Each day I go a bit further down the hill to get that cardio from walking back up.  I noticed today that the road department has been out here patching holes.  I hear the plan is for a complete re-do this year.  It's  pretty rough, if you know what I mean.

News?  I don't have a clue.  The only things I've noticed were the huge pileup on the interstate and the execution of the white nationalist who drug a black man behind his truck for 3 miles.  This poor guy was alive the first two miles.  I have changed my stance on the death penalty in cases like these.  There is no room for hate crimes.  And still it took 10 years for it to be resolved. That is not a deterrent.  Sometimes the court system is just a little too big.  

I've been on a mission to get all things health taken care of so I know have appointments for mammo and annual gyno exam.  
Plus I got my driving glasses.  Day by day I feel my age a little bit more.  There are the usual aches and pains but the get up and go just isn't always there like it used to be.  Exercise should help.  I'm joining my friends Carol and Debbie to check out a class at the Y next week.  Plus get a haircut.  It's me time y'all.

Enjoy your day.  It's pretty ^j^

Thursday, April 25, 2019

here and there

I haven't seen my friend Gigi in months so I wandered on over there to visit with she and Bella.  She is also retired as of just recently so we're both in the same boat.  We caught up on everything and everybody.  Compared to our younger days we are considered quite tame. In bed by 10 with our respective fur babies.  

I went by to see my buddy Travis to tie up some loose ends on my tax return and while I was at the monument company I got a quick quote on a tiny stone which is all I want.  Hopefully I'll get that paid for before I croak so that there's one less detail hanging.  You gotta have stone even if you're cremated.  Mine and my brother's will be side by side in the old Carter family cemetery down the road.  It's a beautiful place for memories.

More of the same with the news.  Blah.Blah.Blah.  If nothing EVER surprised me anymore, I would have been pretty shocked about the anti trans bill guy who got caught with his pants down with a minor in a hotel.  But like I said, nothing shocks me,

That bitch in Washington is receiving decks of cards delivered by UPS in a big way and I have a feeling it ain't over.  I just hopes she donates them to people who will use them,

I was driving south on the By-Pass and ran into a large convoy of troopers.  At closer glance, they were escorting somebody hauling a freakin' HOUSEBOAT.  That's not something you see every day.  Trailers, yes.  All the time.  

Keep it between the ditches kids.  Love ya.  Mean it.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

shake rattle and roll

The dogs were up and at it before daylight this morning which is unusual.  I reckon it could have been that 3.6 earthquake that hit right before six.  I didn't feel it at all so I was clueless until I saw trucks from two Memphis news stations in town. When I asked girl at the chicken store what was up she described the shake rattle and roll they experienced at work. It was felt far and wide and the epicenter was around the Obion River bridge north of town.   I hope they check that thing out for damage. 

I am notorious for setting fires.  Once I was burning off the asparagus and it spread out into the bean stubble spreading quickly.  No harm there.  My friend and I managed to contain it with brooms and rakes and there was no crop loss.  However, my stupid self did light one during a burn ban and it got away from me in a HURRY spreading into the bean field.  The fire departments came....a lot of them.  It was on the front page of the paper.  I was made the poster child for that sort of thing so I'm extra careful  now.  

Yesterday I noticed that some jerk had dropped off a big furniture box with all the packing right on the side of the road.  I talked to my brother and he said to just burn it if there wasn't an address on it to follow up with the law.  No address so I fired it up.  It was almost through burning when a piece of something blew over into the corn stubble and started it up.  OH LORD.  Not again.  My first thought was "but he told me to do it!"  I came home and got a rake and crawled up and down the ditch several times stomping and flailing with the rake.  It got down on the ditch bank but was stopped when it hit water.  I watched it for awhile and all was well in the end.  It had been dropped between two young pecan trees and I dragged it out into the road so as not to burn those.  And dude left a calling card.  An empty bud light can shining brightly in the sun.  Some people. I prayed every time I crawled that ditch for no snakes.  

The dogs and I went for a walk this morning and I realized  how out of shape I've gotten.  That's a priority to continue until it hits 100. Then, i give.  

Keep smiling.  Keep shining ^j^

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

the ancestors

I was in the vicinity of the cemetery this morning and I haven't visited the grands in a while so I turned in and cruised through all those little tiny roads.  I got lost and ended up on the corner where all of my mother's family is buried.  Took some pics for posterity.  I eventually found the way to where my parents are buried and had a silent moment with them.  I still miss them after four years.  I became an orphan within the space of six months.  

I was fitfully sleeping this morning when the yard crew showed up so there was no lounging after that.  The allergens are, shall we say, rampant so I'ma gonna' stay inside until it settles.  One positive of my day is that I actually got to watch Kristen Hampton LIVE doing Disney face masks like Cruella which leaves your face soft as a dalmatian's butt.  She is so out there it's a steady laugh.  

Same for Rusty Myers and Trae Crowder.  I just can't get enough of it.  Trae is upright liberal and appeals ( of course ) to all of us libtards especially southern ones.  He's from Celina TN where the hospital recently shut down.  How sad.  Rusty, on the other hand, is a satirist and makes fun of Trump in a whole different way that just cracks me up.  He and his buddies are on the Well Red Tour.  

Y'all don't eat all the chocolate bunnies at one sitting.  That is all ^j^

Monday, April 22, 2019


It's a beautiful Monday and I've been out and about for a bit enjoying the day.  I visited with some friends in the Finley area and came away feeling hopeful.  It takes a village.

Brainstorming is often my downfall.  I get these grand ideas known as "the big picture" and get caught up in the little details of making something happen.  I'm learning to back off from that.  

Oscar is my little black and white rescue terrier.  He was horribly abused prior to coming to live here by default.  The past neighbors were responsible for that.  He kept coming up my way with big scoops cut out of his back and I called the Humane Society for a welfare check.  Dude said he couldn't afford to feed him so just let her have him.  As a result of this he is startled easily when he's sleeping which is often with me.  I've got scars to prove it.  Sometime during the night I put my foot in the wrong place and he chomped into it.  Lawd y'all.  From all the blood you would have thought there had been a murder.  My prayer now is that I don't develop cellulitis because I've had that from a dog bite in my hand and it ain't fun.  

I'm sitting here listening to music for inspiration ^j^

Sunday, April 21, 2019

the reckoning

Something hit me today like a ton of bricks.  I am 45 minutes away from my daughter and my grandchild and they both really need me to be more regular with my visits.  We have fun and play for a couple of hours.  Then it's snuggle time.  Yet I am not a part of her life in a real way.  We skype and talk on speaker and she usually screams and whines because Mama's on the phone.  There is nothing to keep me from moving closer.  Jackson is a way cool place and has a lot of nice bedroom communities like Medina.  Unless I find a job real soon it will be back to the basics.  My friend has urged me not to see cost as a factor but I'm not quite there yet.  I've put in a lot of years on this farm and it's in my blood.  Never owned a thing on it, ever.  Daddy was a modern day sharecropper which is what he learned from HIS father.  That was his second job in addition to USDA.  My Pawpaw was the manager of the property when Mom and Daddy got married.  He took the job in 1956.

Both of them worked not only at the day job but in the garden.  Daddy grew it and she canned it.  This gave me a keen appreciation of growing your own in order to eat.  We had chickens but not for long.  There were cattle every freakin' where surrounded by rusty barbed wire fences falling off the posts.  The cows were his hobby after retirement and he chased them 'til the end.  The small herd went to a local vet eventually. Two years later the P.H. White cattle rub came down.

Sometimes I miss the sound of their moos.  I suppose I should go to a safari park and talk to the animals.  I hear it's good therapy.  I received a very powerful totem yesterday in the form of a hawk.  This wasn't just your usual hawk scoping out small animals to eat.  He was perched with wings spread on the tree right next to my front porch.  And of course there's the red winged blackbird.  And the full moon ^j^


One of the traditions at my home church is flowering cross for Easter.  Usually folks drop their flowers off to the arrangers as they arrive for SS or service and they work their little tails off getting it done.  I had to work today so I took my dogwood and azalea and left them in a vase at the base of the cross covered in magnolia leaves.  When I came back by this afternoon it was a masterpiece.  The running joke is "why did the Baptists cross the road?"  To get a picture in front of the flowering cross of course.  I love it.

I still have SNL to look forward to after I walk the yard a bit.  Tomorrow I will go see Bill and get a few flowers.  I'm going small and in pots this year for the most part.  I don't know what that senator was thinking when she made the remark about nurses "playing cards" but she's opened up a HUGE can of worms.  When you insult any particular group of healthcare providers, the whole tribe plus other disciplines want to whip your ass.  She can kiss her re-election goodbye.


Saturday, April 20, 2019

in between

Today is Holy Saturday and it's beautiful compared to the storms and darkness of yesterday.  In a way I take it as a promise that the resurrection did happen even as the followers mourned.  Imagine their surprise to find that empty tomb!   One of my favorite parts of the Bible is the road to Emmaus because that is basically the beginning of true discipleship out in the world.  Believers talking about what they have seen and witnessed.  

I thoroughly enjoyed Colbert's take on the Mueller report and can't wait to see what SNL does next.  I've been  a Trae Crowder fan from the beginning of his rants on the porch.  Now that he's on tour and making albums I hope he doesn't stop the porch rants, good old Tennessee style.  Liberal Redneck indeed!!

I haven't seen my girls in a couple of weeks and I need a fix.  We'll wiggle our schedules around to make it happen.  It makes me sad that I'm not there to play Easter bunny stuff.  I'm sure she's hunted some eggs and had a grand old time anyway.  

Be kind to one another ^j^

Friday, April 19, 2019

between the lines

So many people tend to read something into one's words that were not the intent of the author.  I'm just as guilty as the next guy though not the way I used to be.  I take most interactions at face value and don't get offended easily.  I am a very direct person and I became that way through finding out what my core beliefs are.  About myself. About humanity.  As I find a new piece, or one that has been hidden away, I incorporate it into the big picture that is the rest of my life.  Learn from your mistakes.  Be kind to others.  Stay true to yourself.
Even while the "base" is rejoicing over the no collusion thing, there are a lot of underlying issues unfolding.  For example Trump's nasty responses to a report that was unusually well crafted and should have been reason for a period of quiet.  For two years we have been on a "witch hunt" to get him.  In his words "that's bullshit."  When was the last time you heard a sitting POTUS say bullshit?  Yeah.

He is his own worst enemy, no doubt.  His stubborn persistence on being right and having the last word will be his downfall.  It's not a matter of if but when.  We are approximately 18 months away from an election which is what it will take to turn the tide.  I'm not endorsing anybody at this point just doing research.  This vote will count. 

Today is, of course, Good Friday.  The cross is draped in black, waiting quietly as we ponder what happened that day.   My friend and I were discussing this the other day mid-air about how the crucifixion must be felt in the heart.  That's the beauty of the gift, so to speak.  

Peace be with you ^j^

Thursday, April 18, 2019

come and get me

That's about the way I feel today.  There's not an ounce of oomph left in this old body.  I was beyond annoyed to be forced to listen to the AG all morning.  I kept watching the eyes on Rosenstein and they NEVER moved unless his name was mentioned!  What a good old boy redacted version of 'Murka.  There's a lot of blank spaces up in there that we the people can't see but Congress will. 

Praise be!  I have new driving glasses just in time to see the girls if it's not a monsoon.   All three dogs have been treated for fleas and ticks.  I have more free time to explore what I'm going to be when I grow up.  It's all hunky dory.

This is foot washing day for many of us.  There was that last supper when Jesus told his bunch what was up and washed their feet as a final act of love, knowing that he would be betrayed.  

Maundy Thursday

Wednesday, April 17, 2019


I have a lot of gifts and pretty fair skill set.  I'm a steady alto if I take a few breaths in between.  I'm a writer, or like to call myself one because I do it faithfully even if it's nothing but a whinefest.  My friend Chuck once referred to me as a very "consistent" blogger.  I've been reading his during our respective Lenten journeys and I can so relate.  Caring for someone who is disabled and caught up in the giant medical industry is a lesson in what the hell do I do next?  The answer is rest so that you can be of more service.  I never did that when I was on the home stretch with my parents because I was still a full time employee of said medical revolving door.  That gave me an inside track that most folks don't have.

With the political climate in our world being what it is, I feel very vulnerable.  Our government is being run by rich people who don't know us from Adam except from some voter app.  I didn't choose that and a lot of others didn't either.  The decline in civility and world peace during the past two years is still not enough to wake up the eyes of the cult.  If they come to my house the dogs will bite their asses!

The Wesleyan tradition is that pastors come and pastors go, often on a circuit.  Appointments are made by the Bishop of the conference area with lay input.  It's like playing a game of chess or something where you have to consider what the needs of a particular congregation are and find the right person. I would never begin to remember the names of all of them over my 63 years there.  There are a couple I choose to forget.  When I was a high school student we got our first kinda' sorta' youth minister/associate.  His name is Larry Tubb and he had us teenagers from the get go.  He actually kept me in those pews until I graduated from high school.  We had a little coffee house in the old library.  Melted candles on bottles and the whole deal.

I was a delegate to annual conference ONE time and one time only.  Some of you may remember the story of Gary Shorb coming at the end of opening service to pitch his hospital system to the delegates.  I was not amused because I worked there and had to report the next morning.  It was late and I was in Jackson. 

Donna Locke drove me there that night.  She's got the sweetest soul and the look on her face as I sat next to her on All Saint's day has given me faith through the years.  Her husband Mark is the one who put together passion play that moved my faith from head to heart.  Willis G was a part of that era.  

There are certain ones who have held me up during the past five years.  Dell King is one.  Ed White is another.  I am pleased to now know Dakota Simpson and Will Clark and I look forward to the next one in line.

Peace and Grace ^j^



home sweet home church

Here we are in the midst of Holy Week.  I've attended most of the Lenten services on Wednesday at noon in the chapel and have been blessed beyond measure.  Today there were stations of the cross in the sanctuary which I lovingly took my time visiting, reliving the events leading to the crucifixion.  I was the only one there and it was quiet.  By the time I got to the altar I was in tears as I knelt to pray.  I felt so humble and so grateful for the community of believers there that have been such a big part of my life.  It took a long time following the deaths of my parents for me to go up in there and not lose it.  My friend Delores held my hand through it.  At the communion rail I lit candles for my parents and for Lauren and Reaves.  

Ellie ate my driving glasses some time ago and I've been winging it but finally went for an eye exam today.  Very little had changed in three years and all looked good.  It was quick, pleasant and informative.  Thanks to all involved at Family Eye Care for making that happen.  BTW, their cash pay price for an exam is 30 bucks less than Wallyworld.  

With four animals and farm dust all over the house I decided my best vacuum option was a shop vac so I bought one yesterday.  Nothing fancy, but it works wonders.  I've read about all the millions being pledged to aid in the reconstruction of Notre Dame and have to wonder why folks won't give that freely to the least of these.  I'm funny that way.  Those poor folks in Puerto Rico are still struggling with the basics and yet another hurricane season is on the way.  

I am thrilled to announce that I am now a "top fan"of Kristen Hampton.  This gal never ceases to make me laugh.  I'm a top fan of a lot of unconventional comedy.  It's just how I'm wired.

Happy hump day folks.  Keep the faith ^j^

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

expect nothing

If there is one core truth that I have learned in life it is that.  Expectation eventually leads to disappointment so I'd rather just go with the flow and then nothing surprises me.  Well, maybe some things but I digress.  The ability to adapt to change is the key to surviving life and keeping your sanity.  This, I learned the hard way.

I got to visit with my BFF today and she hasn't changed a bit.  We are of similar mind on most everything.  Fortunately I was home in time to watch Kristin Hampton do amazing tricks with bananas in her hot car wearing a Bea Arthur t-shirt.  Check her out.  She's a hot mess in a good way.  

The birds are singing and it's warm and so all seems right in my world.  I watched in horror with everybody else while Notre Dame burned on the first day of Holy Week.  There is a message there I'm sure but umm.  Very sad.  The good news is that lots of the stained glass windows were saved.

There is a red winged blackbird that has claimed the newest baby pecan tree as home.  He or she perches up there even in the wind guarding and protecting me and mine.  I will never in a thousand years catch him in a picture, but he's my daddy telling me to soldier on.  

And I will ^j^

Monday, April 15, 2019

a fact of life

I stopped by the visitation for my friend's mother just to give him a hug, just because.  I have been FB friends with two of his sons forever and finally met them in person.  It's funny how we come together at odd times but funeral services are the norm.  You see everybody and their brother.  As I was leaving I hugged two more necks that I've not seen in awhile, one of which was my cousin/sister.  

Carol and I have lunch about once a week and our usual favorite spot is Los Portales.  Usually it's quiet but today it was packed out with squealing kids.  I love me some leftovers from there.   I later ran into yet another old friend from high school that I didn't even  recognize when he passed by.  His wife asked me "Do you know who that is?"  Lord have mercy y'all.  In the words of Brother Dave Gardner "Ain't life strange?"  

There's this guy who hangs around the chicken store and I onl  y paid attention to him because he chatted me up a week or so ago.  Today, he was parked longwise across two spaces and asked me for a dollar to which I replied no.  "Oh, and nice parking job dude."  He came in, bought a drink and left.  When I stopped to get gas this afternoon he was back, probably waiting for another stooge.  I've been hit up too many times by pan handlers in parking lots.  You wouldn't believe the stories they come up with.  

It's a beautiful day in the 'hood.  And for that and much more, I am thankful.

Always remember who you are ^j^

Sunday, April 14, 2019

whatever it takes

Morning came dark and rainy and I needed the sleep.  Once I let the dogs out I was able to rest in peace for two more hours waking just in time to watch the service at my church via live stream.  My internet connection is so slow I had to watch it by phone but still, I got the message.  There were palm fronds and kids and lots of Hosanna.  Ed began his message with a story about being at a Christian music festival on the same day as the Columbine shootings.  The shooters asked one particular young lady if she was a Christian to which she replied "yes."  Those were her last words before she was murdered.  Going through her diary after her death these words were found  "Whatever it takes."  

God never promised that things would be easy.  Many times there seems to be no way out.  That his Son knowingly took the cup and died a horrific death for us is the core of Christianity.  The triumphal entry and the events of Holy week lead to betrayal on many levels.  Imagine having one of your own tribe kiss you as a sign that you will die and it makes all the little betrayals in your life meaningless.  There will be struggles.  There will be pain.  Bad things happen to good people.  Yet in the end, God almighty has our backs.  

I'm not a preacher by any means but I feel called to make a difference where I can.  If that means listening to somebody's problems so be it.   Sharing life stories is a powerful tool for healing the soul.  So how do we serve others?

Whatever it takes ^j^

Saturday, April 13, 2019

from beginning to end

Ultimately we all have rights as to how our medical care should be delivered.  As long as you are deemed of right mind, the decision is yours.  There's something called a Living Will that every hospital you ever enter will ask if you have.  My parents had theirs in order all properly signed and notarized.  I was their go to girl on that know why.  An advance directive in the pocket of the right person makes sure your wishes are honored. may have to argue with the gigantic systems that make money off of futile care but it's worth it because THAT person trusted you as an advocate.  Which oddly enough brings me around to the subject of abortion.

There is a legal precedent that guarantees a woman's right to terminate a pregnancy.  Rape.  Incest.  If this woman knows enough to figure out she's pregnant six weeks is a reasonable amount of time to have this done safely and legally.  I am pro-life meaning that decisions must be made quickly.  For funding to be withheld from Planned because they perform abortions is absurd.  No federal money goes to that part of it.  The federal funding covers birth control and basic women's health.  Google it.  Evangelical fury has turned this into a talking point in the political arena.  

I remember the day I got the call from my daughter and she asked if I was sitting down.  "Are you pregnant" I asked.  The answer was yes following about ten dolla' store tests.  Alrighty then.  That little miracle is 18 months old now and surrounded by so much love you can see it in her smile.  Her mother made a decision knowing that it wouldn't be easy raising her alone.  Thankfully that has not turned out to be the case.  It takes a village y'all.

My friend Old Horsetail Snake was a former speech writer for the Governor of Oregon.  He and his wife both did the assisted suicide thing when the time came.  It's the only humane thing to offer to an elderly population or those with terminal illness.  You can only do so much THC before it's time to give up.   The states are in charge of this and the northwestern ones are particularly understanding of human suffering.  

The death penalty thing has moved from a negative to a positive to me despite the advances in DNA.  I say update your damn database and release the innocent.  Fry the rest of those freaks.  Drug charges should be null and void and replaced with supervised mental health.  It's a start.

Thanks for reading dear ones.  Poops is in a mood ^j^