Monday, March 31, 2014


I've had a busy day what with getting new tires on the trusty old Camry because even I, a silly little girl, am smart enough to know when it's dangerous. I told the sales guy I was lucky I hadn't had a big blowout, which is totally due to the fact that Big Ernie watches over his faithful even when they don't repay the favor except by being witness to diversity and peace. That's how I choose to see myself even though I was only a young teen when all hell broke loose over Vietnam. One of my parents friends was a decorated veteran of that war and they were kind of miffed that I wasn't all like "wow what a great cause...flame throwing and agent oranging in the jungle. With a draft, no less. Our most recent wars were much the same with uptight political agendas being tossed around ten years after you know what. No wait, make that 12. It is a day that I will never forget and the first chapter of the book that isn't going to write itself is titled Agent Orange and features not only the sawmill and Miss Anita's gold teeth, but a candlelight vigil at the Kudzu Bar.

I also got an oil change today which was kind of pricey because of a small leak but we all know how Toyota has that oil gel problem. I argued for two years with shop foremen who accused me of not keeping records for maintenance when the oil pan got filled up with goo. Two years in, mind you. I should have known something was up. Two years later like THE DAY before warranty ran out, it threw a rod and I got a new block. About a year later I got a notice for a class action suit against the company for this very issue giving others who had paid out for the fix an opportunity to get money back. I was just lucky, and a lot of them weren't. She has only 106ish K actual and 50K real miles. Yeah..guess who only goes to work and home. I leased the car for four years and bought it from the company after that. It's been collateral for several loans and still gets me where I'm going. With new tires, new oil and soon to be silent exhaust, all I need is a damn door handle for driver's side front. Talk about a pain in the winter!

It's finally spring for a day or two and I suppose that made my errands today a little more bearable to where I actually smiled at folks instead of scowling like the old half frozen woman I've been for two months. If the UN is right and I suspect they are because I mean ,it's like the biggest think tank in the world and they are already prepping for coastal flooding in many areas and the infrastructure hassles it causes. Maybe that's why the hurricanes hit from New Orleans to New York. After Katrina when it became painfully clear that the corp had failed to do their job in a place where poverty is every day's business and a whole lot of people got hurt, I felt guilty for being where I was. And then the got hurt some more during relocation to one of many states to the north. As I watched our country's response to that disaster and simultaneously kept up with the wars, I became more and more worried. Obama was elected because the country was ready for a change from Dubya and Cheney. Young people cared about voting for the first time in years because seeing a black man become president is what the current generation's idea of normal dreamed of. That's a long way from being some southern slave master's boy.

The tide is turning ya'll, and if we don't all hold hands and play nice it's gonna be one clusterfuck of a world. I don't do well with anarchy so please keep your violence and strict rules away from Pecan Lane. Looks like rain is moving in and I was surprised to find that BG had a change of plans, but delighted all the same. I now have a yard guy for the first time in a long time because I'm just too old for that shit, ya' know? I just want to enjoy my time outdoors and not have it be all work. Life is way too short for that. I bought flowers, gas and groceries all at one spot today and that tickled me to death.

And then, the spirit worked ^j^

Saturday, March 29, 2014

brand new day

It's chair yoga and beer time on the lane as I wind down from a hard day at the sawmill. There are still a bunch of kids here but I'm used to it so there ya' go. Austin is the son I never had, complete with attitude. I can tell that a lot of the anger he carried when we first met has gone by the wayside during his time here with the tribe. Boogs adores him and loves to ride on his shoulders. He complains that his younger sister is dumb and a pain but is willing to defend her honor in a heartbeat. In their language "Turn Up!"

It never ceases to amaze me that I know so few people in a town as small as Dyersburg. People come and go I reckon and most of the ones who left never came back except to raise their kids because the crime rate is low and cost of living is decent. Accordingly, pay is lower for almost all professions with the exception of CEOS and such. It's the price you pay for not having to commute to the "city" for work. As bad as I hate to drive, I always knew I'd never consider it. Give me a job five minutes from home and I'm there come rain or shine. Just not on the morning of an ice storm that TOTALLY blindsided me. That right shoulder is still not over it!

And yes dear lord, it's still cold as crap around these parts. The next few days look warmer as in almost 80 one day so that's how everybody ends up sick and sniffling. Before you know it we'll be drenched in sweat and longing for cold windy days with buttercups. Actually, this is a more normal type spring that we've had in the southeast in decades. I'm listening to Little Stevie and looking forward to season five of my favorite nurses and assorted other healthcare providers. Watching Nurse Jackie has been like reliving my days at the sawmill and I can even name people at my work that match the characters. They shall remain nameless as long as I'm employed!

BG has a job interview already so that's promising for all concerned. Her experience as a hotel clerk may prove to be just the ticket she needs to do something different. Lord knows the social work degree is just posted there on the wall, framed by my Aunt Nancy herself. My framed degree from UTCHS spent 20 years in my moldy basement before I retrieved it and cleaned it up for display. There's nothing much there now except for some ancient work tables and farm memorabilia. Oh, and of course cobwebs. And snakeskins!

It's all good ya'll. Just leave room for the spirit to work~Billy Yates

Friday, March 28, 2014

and then the dog got worms.....

Ryder has had worms three times since she was born and is currently afflicted with the rice grain looking ones which I mentioned to the girl at the counter who informed me that all that yellow crap I've bought doesn't touch this particular parasite. It covers all the rest of them, but this 28 buck pill should take care of the whole deal. She is so skinny and eats regularly so I knew something was wrong. Her pup Sophie is plump and shiny with a tinge of chocolate on her coat reminding me of Faith. Ryder's eyes are exactly like Faith's were, all dark and spiritual. Faith learned to talk in syllables, taught by her adopted daddy and to ride in a truck bed like a big girl. Her first trip down Lake road she fell out, bless her heart. Once when we were taking she and Oscar and SammyD to Newbern for a visit Oscar bailed out and tumbled into a cotton field. BG and I shared custody of her during that time. Oscar got us in trouble for chasing the goats and donkeys next door. Sam just wants to know when we can go to bed.

The glass in our front door fell out last night during the thunderstorm and I made a run to roll my windows up failing to notice that I left the ignition on. Guess what happened at 5:30 AM? Nothing but clicking. Michelle came and scooped me up so that I could report half ass on time. The sad thing is I wasn't a bit surprised. The dogs refuse to crawl over the hole in the storm door but I bet they would if I didn't get up and open it. Ha! Lily got stuck in the basement last night and was meowing to get in when I stumbled to the bathroom this morning. 11 hours is sometimes enough which is kind of sad but it sure does feel good to turn in early or sleep later. I'm not picky...I'll take it either way! There is nothing in this world important enough that "needs" to be done for me to not take care of my own self.

Shannah and Boogs came to pick me up at the sawmill and he was smooth OUT in that carseat for the ride home. He's a beautiful piece of childhood that I count as a blessing in my life every day. Shannah's mom died a few years ago and he needs a Grammaw like everybody else. BG is Auntie. Sister and her friend are camped out in BG's room for the time being and I'm in this cluttered office. I had to snicker at this queen B long haired Siamese crawling all over the reception area of the vet's office. She just looked at me like "humph" and let her tail trail over my hand on her way to the other end. Bitch had attitude, just saying.

Thanks to sweet baby Jesus the state of CT has passed the first minimum wage hike in decades. If it takes as long to get through the court system as the ACA did we'll all just die of starvation from not having MickyD's at our disposal. Grow your own people! The sky is falling and that chit is a poisonous industry, much like Monsanto and their GMO piece. When you mess with mother nature too much, bad things happen to good people. I read the other day about an outbreak of Ebola virus in Africa and had bad dreams thinking about how that disease kills swiftly and painfully. And the reason that it happens is because of poor sanitation. Jesus wept.

I'm kinda thinking that life is not treating me as badly as it was and the only reason I can imagine is that Big Ernie tested me for a long time with being a caretaker until I realized that self care enables one to be more of an inspiration. Here's my idea for new business in flood ravaged South Dyersburg where only two buildings remain in the legendary Courtland Square, home of multiple addicts and people who stole on a regular basis from the honest grocer next door. That building is gone as well. That side of the road is more prone to flood damage and an entire community of riverside dwellers have rebuilt in the hope that our county fathers will see the wisdom in addressing that issue. Ten years out there will be road improvement but...Tucker Tire, Boss Hoss, Omnicraft and Dunagan's Sports bar are all in the flood zone HOWEVER high water has never reached this particular tavern. It did however trash the Hideaway and David Lee's shop/home.

For the first time in a very long time I feel optimistic about life. I'm not exactly sure why but I suspect a large part of it has to do with the power of prayer. That would be the faithful choice.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

two 'fer

I'm really bad about not remembering to post a blog link to FB until like the next day or something, but it has trained me to write when the muse speaks and worry about sharing later. There are evidently a core of people who have it on their feed but many others wait for the link on Zuck's invention to keep us all addicted to the interwebs. It could be worse could be like crack or meth! BG was supposed to leave this morning but put it off so everybody could sleep in, except me of course. My chore this morning was to visit a lender and try to get finances to a manageable point. God bless propane guy who will not have to wait three years this time for his thousand bucks. That's what it took to keep us warm in this winter that has yet to leave us. Cold winds are blowing the buttercups every which a way and thank goodness mama's hairdo was sprayed enough to make it from car to house. This being Thursday, is always hair day at Angel's Crown Salon. Glenda has been doing her for years and it's just about her only outing these days other than church when Daddy makes her. The bridge club has all but disbanded due to aging and whatnot. I've gotta hand it to her, she hung in there with those gals for 55 years hosting for whomever would show up on Tuesday.

Boogs is waking up from a nap and is about to watch Ice Age to wake up with. They will be moving on soon as well which means Casa Poops and furbabies will be the new normal. I'll have to remember to feed and water all the critters because Shannah and BG have done that for awhile, plus the laundry and cleaning. That means I'll have to get my shit together and make a home for one very tired middle aged smartass country gal who needs a sugardaddy. My friends are all going to the beach in May and I can't go because of work which is kinda' sad but I'm keeping on the sunny side just the same. Damn, I love my job.

Meanwhile, still no plane and Putin is a self absorbed idiot but no more so than the capitalists who are running OUR country. Last time I heard the Koch bros and a shitload of Republicans are still determining our fate as people who grew up believing in an America that has sold them out. It's like the caste system in other countries which is all well and good for them but DAMN..they don't pay taxes like we do! Somewhere along the line as a patriot I believed that elected officials are bound by honor to listen to the wishes of their constituents. Evidently that's old school because it ain't happening right now.

Thinking back on all the Thursday nights I spent at the kudzu bar for ladies night, I remember that I miss it and have chosen instead to have dollar beer at home while doing laundry and watching Nurse Jackie. Very low maint I swear. My room is a wreck and that's next on the list. I deserve a place to call my own and not have to trip over dirty clothes.

Peace and love ^j^

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

random acts

Our little 'burg is in the news right now for a rash of "random acts of kindness" where folks in line at the fast food restaurants pay for the customers behind them anonymously. There is one particular doctor that I work with who does the same at our sawmill cafeteria and I'm always pleasantly surprised when it's my turn. That is the entire reason that I can't begin to tell you the miracle that BlogFairy has been to me and mine. It's like I was chosen, strictly on the basis of my writing, to receive gifts and surprises when I needed them most. I'll never forget how much joy that the USPS boxes have brought to me and BG. I've had theories over the years about who it might be but the beauty of it is that I don't need to know, just to pay it forward because that's what J would do. He wanted us so badly to "get it" and it's a blessed individual who does in spite of a world filled with hate and greed. One life, one day at a time.

I believe that Big Ernie reaches out to where you are in the journey and kind of taps you on the shoulder right before the shit starts hitting the fan in your daily life in such a way that you ask "why me Lord?" Usually it means misplaced priorities like the addictions to money and power(SEE:Koch God has given me many talents over the years and I'm sorry to say that I didn't always give the glory back. Shame on me and all ya'll who have had moments of thinking you're the shit only to get smacked right on the old ass one.more.freakin.time.

Here's the thing about ego and works, in my honest opinion. It only counts if nobody else knows what you did. My daughter is going on another adventure tomorrow and from now on this is "home" in such a way that it's never been as in you can't drive five miles and get what matches that cute shirt. One of my younger friends stopped by today and we tried to sit on the porch but it's still cold as shit. Seriously! We've got buttercups and forsythia and other than that it's barren. Especially the part of the lawn yard that I managed to scorch. Mrs. Council's neatly planted row of daffodils survived the fire and are opening as I type. Before you know it will be Easter morning and the joy will be so wonderful that you go to church not just on that day (and Christmas)but on a regular basis because you WANT to not because God is gonna' punish your wicked ways. I've never understood that particular brand of coming to Jesus. As a student of John Wesley and Marti Margrave plus many others, I understood the meaning of "whenever two or more are gathered in His name" and don't usually feel the need to get up early on Sunday. The church is in your life and relationships, the day to day relationships that offer opportunities to minister and heal without judging. There but by the grace of God, go I.

Monday, March 24, 2014

tough love

Anyone who has never been a parent cannot begin to understand how you feel when that little kid you raised up in your own image turns out to be their own person. I remember BG's preschool teacher loaning me her copy of "The Strong Willed Child" during the terrible threes and challenging fours. Truth be told she was pretty spoiled as an only child and only grandchild. Life got real when we divorced the first time. I'm glad I didn't know the whole story then because I would probably be in jail now for murder and then where would my dogs live? My ex was a good man and father with a huge substance abuse issue that affected his parenting at a very young age for her. I was what we now describe as a "hot mess" falling in love with the most unfortunate people and believing that someday my prince would come. That was twelves years ago, by the way. No prince in sight and very few frogs.

I followed my first real boyfriend to Memphis and as my mama says "At least he got you through college." He lived in a Frayser apartment and at that time it wasn't all ghetto like it is now. My dorm rooms, first at Memphis State and later at UTCHS were just a place to change clothes and study...the rest of the time I was with him. We broke up right around graduation and I trashed plans to work there because really? It was all about him. Our county hospital scooped me up as a new grad and the rest is history. I've been asked to present the annual Gaga award during volunteer week and I owe it to my grandmother to keep it going as long as anybody remembers. I remember once when I presented the award with some kind words the administrator saying "I didn't know you could do that!" Um, yeah. I took speech at Dyersburg State from Avonne Wortham. How's that for a flashback??

Looking back, I see portions of my life that I wish I had not acted in a particular way. My father's anger kept me longing to be a daddy's girl when, in fact, daddy had nothing left to give after working two jobs. Now he's just tickled to death to go out and eat like a hog then plan the rest of his day. Over.And over. It's the same story with everyone it seems, only the details change. I've been lucky to have my parents for this long and fortunate that my daughter and I have a loving relationship, one where honesty and fortitude are all out on the table. I see a different woman now, one who is willing to take risks to get ahead even if it's uncomfortable.

As for Prince Sugardaddy? Bring it on ya'll.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

buttercups and rainbows

They're everywhere in my yard flashing bright yellow to signal the end of this horrible ass winter. Forsythia finally made an appearance but I think the quince got nipped by the ice storm because it was already budding. Still, there's a brisk wind and unless you're in the sun it can be chilly. And guess what? It's spring allergy time! And I'm out of Zyrtec! My bad. After sleeping in today I ran to the grocery store and visited the ATT store to get a decent phone for BG. Her battery is taped in, bless her heart. With her moving she definitely needs a good phone...just saying. She thanked me and went back to bed ,snoozing her way through the exhaustion that comes from intense therapy. I envy her the ability to just conk out like that. Boogs can do it too and he honestly looks like an angel when he's asleep.

So this day is mine to waste in whatever fashion I see fit. My problem is one of concentration on task so that I end up right smack in the middle of 20 projects in the works. Like bill paying. And sweeping. I suspect it's an adult ADHD kind of deal or maybe I have early onset Alzheimer's. My auntie with the broken hip is in Martin still trying to get to a point where she can sleep and do physical therapy somewhere. It looks like a long road to me, and I pray for resolution so that my cousin isn't burdened any more with it.

More and more states are getting their anti-gay marriage asses kicked by federal judges which only makes sense because "hello!" I try not to take joy in the passing of any life from this earth, but Fred Phleps' death tempted me to get off the wagon. I'm glad that his death was publicized and put away because I kind of see this as a turning point for us as a country. Why do we insist on fracturing the functions of government over personally held religious beliefs? Who is to say whose beliefs are the RIGHT ones. It certainly isn't me or you. Being self centered makes folks have zero empathy for anyone other than mirror images of themselves. Yo...deep thoughts today!

Cultural diversity is something that doesn't tend to happen outside of big cities, and most especially those in the poverty stricken deep south. I live in a town where the number of churches is almost as many as the number of businesses that are surviving in our little patch of real estate. The personally held prohibitionist beliefs of many of them affected our 'burg in a lot ways and ran the local economy into the ground. Boss Hoss cycles is located about two miles from my house and the owner used to host a show every year that featured people and bikes from all over the world. The board of mayor and alderman shut down his attempt to serve alcohol at the event so he moved it elsewhere. Where in the Bible does it say do not serve alcohol? Drunkardness, yes. Gluttony...of course. But that's a whole 'nother discussion for when I'm in a seven deadly sins kind of mood. Today I choose to be happy. Mama's having a rough time today so we talked and I reminded her that at age 80 she might want to find her peaceful spot and quit trying to run the world.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

when one door shuts

They say that another door will open when one slams in your face if only you can find the patience and wisdom to recognize it as a sign from Big Ernie to back up and re-group. That's one I've had a particularly hard time with considering how strong willed I can be. Lord knows I try to be patient and loving but a lot of times I'm just wore so plum out there's not much left to give. I found a "happy" as we call it, in my mailbox today from my friend Marti who weaves potholders the old fashioned way. I scored three, all with different designs in bright colors. Who loves me? She does.

The dozier has been busy prepping our former horse pen for planting. The last little shack was taken down today and I didn't even notice it when I got home. My mind was otherwise occupied with some sad longing for days gone by when life was an open book just waiting to be experienced. That was way before it became what it is today which is a race to the finish kind of like Hunger Games where only the strong ones survive. If I had to eat bugs or kill to stay alive I'd be one of the first ones to die of starvation. I have absolutely no interest in soldiering on past my time to become a martyr to the world. I've worked my tail off most of my life and deserve a break from being ultra loyal and uber productive. That's for 28 year olds who still run on adrenaline and believe that anybody cares what you do.

Speaking of which it looks like the Cadi is once again under the weather and I don't think it had anything to do with it getting stuck nose down in the snow. Actually? I think it's just the brand. So much for made in America! It is a really cool ass car though. The engine holds NINE quarts of oil. Obviously it was manufactured in Detroit before gas was 3.50 a gallon. You can't even get parts for it. A couple of brothers have made offers but it won't go cheap.

Still no plane and no clear contender on the Republican side to be Hillary's opponent. I am astonished at the outpouring of anguish from the families of those who are missing as they try to deal with something that has no answer. It kind of reminds me of a local murder that has yet to be solved. Now we all know that these things take time but it's been 2 1/2 years and I suspect the local law enforcement bunch is saving the revelation of who done it for campaign season which really pisses me off. I'm tempted to run out and find some signs for my yard. My baby brother ran for sheriff one time and almost beat the old dude incumbent by about 50 votes. He grew a mustache to appear older and wiser than his 20 something years. I remember going door to door in Fowlkes in freakin' hot ass August asking for votes. Never again.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

in the wilderness

I can feel every cold day of this winter in my bones and joints and the load is getting a bit heavy. I'm not normally a "hurry up and change the season" kind of person with the exception of sweat drenched July when I dream nightly of a cool front with thunderstorms just to cut the humidity. I didn't even swim last year which is unusual. There's just too much going on and I'm working more so laying in the sun takes a back seat to tending chores and paying the bills. For the past three months I've had electric ONLY bills that I've never seen outside of the dead of summer. That doesn't count what I owe propane guy (yes, was cold). I did however manage to get rid of several shark loans with my tax refund. There are more yet to repay but hopefully I'll stay on my feet long enough to get it done. If there was ever a girl in need of new tennis shoes, it's me. BF bought the pair I'm wearing from Thanksgiving two years ago by sending gift cards.

It's spring break week for a lot of folks so everybody's on the road to the beach or whatever their destination. That never was a factor to me and mine because when BG was out of school, we just had to pay a babysitter instead of head off on a ski trip. I've learned by people watching that the ones who put on the biggest show of wealth and glory are the very ones who would be nothing without the grand prize egg. Love of self must be strong enough to look up and ahead but humble enough to never forget the road traveled.

So far it's buttercups only which is unheard of around here. No forsythia,or even quince bud has dared to pop open afraid that the winter that never ended will strike again. I'm beginning to feel the flow for my life rather than fighting events as if I can change them. Shit happens.


Monday, March 17, 2014

hug and release

Ya'll know I'm a firm believer in karma and whatnot so I wasn't really surprised that it turned out we had an extra person at the sawmill today, the very day that BG is coming back in the fold. Sleeping arrangements will be modified accordingly and stuff unpacked. I had seen her before today so it was my pleasure to watch her discover the one year old Booger and his new tricks. Earlier today he caught a ride on brother's shoulders and almost whacked his head on the door facing. Those big blue eyes were full of the wonder of a child doing something new and fun. Wayyyyy up high, BabyMan. One of the things about family group in a therapy setting is that family members are not allowed to get more than a "hug and release" from the patient lest everybody get all choked up and hysterically homesick. It's an exercise in both trust and having the ability to let go. And of course we all know there's a language for that. You'll have to understand that I'm feeling mighty blessed on this St. Patrick's day, snakes or not., the plane is still missing and conspiracy theories abound. Personally, I think it's either Obama or Dubya's fault depending on which way you lean. And of course you know which direction I go. President Obama has done no worse a job than any other POTUS in history, including but not limited to George W. Bush. I understand he was a nice guy and represented "truth and honesty and the American way" but when that war went on and on and on I started to get really bitter about the lives being lost and our TAX dollars being spent on wars that will never be won. Term limits. Homeland security? Where was the (what should be) routine of checking for stolen passports on each flight to see if any have been reported stolen. Don't tell me the money is there for one more walmart or dollar general but we can't pick up on a plot like that. Same with 9/11. Those guys were under the radar for five
freakin' years learning how to take down the towers with maximum damage. It was nothing but a game to them and our military responded with an all out effort to beat the home team in the deserts and mountains. Saddam Hussein my ass.

Hmm..what else. It's still freezing cold with a heavy wind and the gutter in front of my office window is flapping in the breeze. My first job when it warms up is to pick up the yard that looks like off of some redneck reality show. The TV that's been there for two years will be history when the dozier comes. Gotta get ready for corporate's twice yearly visit, ya know. I'm afraid I've gone by the wayside with doing farm history. My family is just a chapter in a long line of them since the original land grant was made in the 1800s. My brother and I found a map in the library with a pencil drawing of the parcels by owner name. It's the in-between part we couldn't find.

Come on spring. I know you're out there!!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

guess who's coming to dinner

BG called today to say she'd be home tomorrow in time for supper with the tribe. It's amazing how we eat with all the different schedules of our jobs and trips to daycare and baby sitters. We have managed to get the kitchen clean and halfway keep it that way, even with a baby in a high chair feeding the dogs who circle around waiting for a dropped bite. Daddy and I hit the dolla' store after eggs and doughnuts and I picked up some ingredients for a recipe that's been hanging on the 'frig for a month. Cheesy chicken pasta...num num! We talked about the funeral and stuff and stopped by the DQ for dilly bars and mama's lunch. She plays hooky and listens to a book when it's raining on Sunday mornings. I don't blame her!

It's cold again, windy and rainy as well. Possibility of snow on the day after the last of the LAST event melted up next to the barn! Nobody knows where the plane is, of course, and I'm really tired of hearing about it until there's an answer, which is doubtful. I follow Michael Yon online and have during the entire span of Iraq and Afghanistan and his most recent posts have been from Thailand showing much civil unrest. Malaysia? Makes you think about the "Left Behind" series. If that was a self fulfilling prophecy I'll apologize in advance for not reading past volume one.

So what else? I totally didn't realize David Brenner was 78 and it made me sad in remembering how funny he was. Tomorrow is St. Paddy's day and Rita had green doughnuts in her glassed in counters at the shop. I watched while this cute guy ate and flirted with the waitresses and various kids sat quietly with their parents inhaling pure sugar. All in a day's journey, I say.

Keeping the faith ^j^

Saturday, March 15, 2014

let not your heart be troubled

I go to bed so early that usually, even on days off, I'm up and at'em by 8. This morning's plans included the funeral of one of my parents' SS class peeps. I sat in awe facing the altar that has been my focus for many years, and did some serious people watching. Thank goodness we got there early enough for me to visit my favorite branches on that family tree. Claudia, Betsy, Johnny and I are all the same age. My childhood friend the funeral director was there as well, running the thing like only she can do...with class and charisma. There was a family baby seated in the next pew up and he spoke up so his mama had to take a break. Precious stuff! I always think about things like that as the future of the oats we've sown in previous generations. One thing is for sure, it is solidly entrenched in that church on the corner of Main and McGaughey. I am a fourth generation Methodist. The choir loft that I sat in for years as an alto has been removed and replaced with seating behind the pulpit which is, shall we say, MUCH safer than climbing those ancient steps. I've almost taken a tumble on more than one occasion.

The Sellers class comes often to the eggs and doughnut joint that is our favorite when "in the mood" which is kinda' cool for us in that they get to visit and have fellowship outside of the church walls. I've watched their number shrink as one spouse or another dies and sometimes they even marry each other because really? You can trust somebody you know that well to be true. Even so, a prenup is vital because there's nothing worse than step kids fighting over money. My parents had nothing near what most of them had in terms of family money, but they managed to fit in very nicely. They were quite the power couple back in their day.

So, actually I've been to church and it's only Saturday. It's warm out and sunny so far. There are more sticks to pick up and pile so that the 'dozer can clean up my redneck mess of a yard. My mama would die if she knew how it looked...ditto for my room. That's okay though. It's my life.


Thursday, March 13, 2014

to new beginnings

Our top story today as in days past is that the Dyersburg Fire department is getting rid of ugly and learning through controlled fire situations. One of the county volunteer fire departments used our last remaining shack for their burn. That was after I spent two months wandering in and out of that place scrapping and salvaging family history. Even the voice activated dog named Rex couldn't keep away those rack headed thieves. I'm quite impressed with our local law enforcement's teamwork with local farmers to stop thefts of metals and ammonium nitrate mostly. That's what gets you money to cook a batch of not the LEAST bit of Breaking Bad excellence. Users pick at the sores that come from constant scratching and usually staph infections. Their teeth are a mess and so are their lungs. Most are unemployed long term addicts of the sort that they really have nothing to lose. Dealers are particularly savvy and keep it close to home in the "underground railroad" of amphetamines.

In my day I have seen numerous people die from the effects of drug abuse and it's never pretty. My father in law died at the age of 55 in full fledged Dt's in the ICU of the very hospital that I worked in. My uncle died in the next ICU from liver failure at the age of 36. Two doors down my uncle Jim died of aggressive prostate cancer with bone mets. My grandmother Lottie died on the third floor of colon cancer and my Gaga in the newest ICU that still remains. I've wrestled with this over the years because it's really kinda' scary to jump out there and say "that's enough" because what if you're wrong and they wake up? Most of the time, sadly, it's that nobody in today's families can communicate in times of distress like that when someone's dying wishes are on the table.

Somehow I know that in the end Big Ernie will be good to me and bless me as I have blessed others even when I was crabby or didn't feel like it because I'm a southern drama queen....and on and on and on. I have held many a hand of dying person so that they know they're not alone. It's painful, but it's what you do for another person if there is any sense of goodness in your heart and most especially when it's one of your own band of gypsies. It's not always about blood but by circumstance. So it looks like maybe they're gonna lay off the Russia thing because OMG that would be a train wreck of epic proportions. Those people don't play. I guess when it comes right down to it we'll see if the Israelis can protect us from big bad Putin. We sure don't have the unity of purpose to fight it.

I "walked the yard" this afternoon snapping pictures and picking up trash prior to mowing season. The fence is gone and crops will be closing in the house soon taking up more of my yard which is AOK because I'm way too old and tired to deal with that. Maybe I can afford to hire it out this year. So far, things are looking better but I know it can change in a heartbeat so I remain carefully optimistic. That's all I've ever expected, you know? Not on top'o'the'world but simply not in the bottom of the pile. Faith helps me to see that no matter how bad things seem, they could be worse. Like, your window could fall out while hauling people to drug court. *sigh* Or you could run out of propane on Christmas Eve. Not that I would be guilty of any of those mishaps.

It's not my fault 'cuz I wasn't even born yet~Bill Cosby

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

and then the repo guy came

I totally keep expecting somebody named Bubba Wayne to drive up with a tow truck to get the little black Dodge Neon that has been dead for months and shall soon be scrap for somebody. This is the car that carried BG back and forth to UT Martin for three years while she worked the graveyard shift at a local hotel. Had it been me, I'd have given up way before the degree was awarded. Her dad and I filed into the UTM field house for that special day which included a boat load of teachers and two little rows of social workers. A BS, in fact for each of them there...some getting MASTERS even. I remembered my own graduation from UT Memphis in '77 and how I almost ended up becoming a Shelby county resident when offered a job prior to graduation. It didn't work out that way and I applied at the local county hospital beginning work two months after graduation. That was 37 years ago and I'm still there.

My washing machine which is about five years old bit the dust this morning and I'm just grateful it didn't leak while it was dying. I'll be shopping ASAP for one because I do not want to lose the momentum we have here on keeping the Casa clean. Shannah and I have managed to accomplish quite a bit and keep it that way even with kids and dogs and whatnot. I have color in my hair for the first time in eons and can't wait to see the gray ones gone to brown. I've spent most of my life trying to be blonde when it's really just plain old light brown that looks natural. And the cut she does is awesome!!

Since it was warm and all yesterday we grilled burgers and hot dogs and gobbled 'em up without buns even. It didn't take long for the six of us to make a happy plate. There are buttercups up everywhere now and the crocus open up on warm days of which today is not one. The appliance purchase was quick and easy but I missed my regular sales guy who recently died. I reckon 5 years for a washer made in this day and time is about par. Delivery will be late today and tonight looks like wash time! The piles are waiting. Shannah gets her ride back today also. Life is good.

Having a songfest with Kid Rock. Hope ya'll are well!

Monday, March 10, 2014

vitamin d therapy

Up in lab testing land that's a hot topic among practitioners because we're all so deprived in the winter when there's like NO sun for days on end and if there is it's too cold to fight it except to work and the bread and milk store and back up the hill on Pecan Lane. I ordered some crack a couple of ME's nursery rhyme books for babies that I know and they were totally confused that I used the new road name. See how corporate changes things on a whimsy? I have to give it to 'em though...the place looks much better than my aging daddy left it, always trying to patch and fix like the depression era child that he is. My family is one of a kazillion that survived life in the south and lived to tell it.

From my house to the end of the lane is half a mile and there's a big ass hill sloping up to the dairy barn. A former neighbor who was built like a god used to run around the field roads and up and down that hill. When he wasn't running he was on his bike. The other guy had a huge Harley and cut the screen out on the front porch so he could roll it up in the house to clean. Alrighty,then. You might as well dance, huh Rusty? They lasted about ten years as the anesthesiology group at the sawmill. How they ended up out here I can't remember...oh YES I do. My brother and his wife were broken up at that time and we worked together so she knew the pair like I did. The house was leased on her referral. I only met Rusty's kids once but Josh was a frequent visitor. He and BG took off on four wheelers one day and tore the side of Ali's knee off on a tree. I guess I should have been supervising, huh?

Anyway I'm on a mission to be healthier and think more positive thoughts so that all the annoying people of the world just don't matter. I finally have a day off and it's looking good weather wise since winter of 2014 will soon be history. I'd still rather freeze than sweat any time. All the croci? and buttercups are up and leaning toward the sunny side. When it's this nice I don't care what the job is, only tha it's outside where the sun is. I was (briefly) in a thread with some attorney at law type folks and this one guy totally jumped in capitalizing country and church and god and whatnot. It looked angry, ya' know? That's my worst nightmare to be all kidnapped and given koolaid by Westboro Baptist types while Coulter and Malkin give a play by play.

Sunday, March 9, 2014


I knew it would, in time. The way things have been going lately I figured something from history would repeat itself and sure enough there's short stumpy fatass over there in NORK getting ready to execute Christians. About the only thing different than them and Daniel in the lion's den is that they don't even get a chance to fight. Just be done with you! POOF! Because you believe that Jesus Christ was and is the son of God you are dead to me and a threat to my mighty powers of intimidation. And this dude has a woman even! There is something particularly ironic to me about the British wife of Syria's hit man. As I understand it (and I could be wrong) most of the troubles in the middle east are based on war between different sects or tribes all based on their picky set of rules. And of course they believe that heaven's just a suicide bomb away. Lack of respect for differing spiritual beliefs is the cause of a whole lot of conflict when, if we could figure out how to blend, as they say...we'd have it made. You don't have to believe what I do, and your opinions are your own. As long as I'm treated with respect and not yelled at by someone who's doing a bad impression of an even worse Fox news anchor, we're good. To Rush and all the other loudmouth grandstanders out there who have given an entire generation reason to distrust each other so that there is no true crossing the aisle Shut the eff up. That means you two girls as well. To believe in one god who is good and kind and loving is what sustains me. I am a Christian but I certainly understand why a lot of people aren't. That's their thing, not mine.

If the shoe fits, I say wear it and I'm all about being up front with what I believe. I've had so many tongue lashings by conservatives when trying to carry on an intelligent conversation that I can't begin to count the times. That is persecution as well. I believe that "the church" meaning any and all faiths and the state shall not mingle not even on abortion rights or other stuff. I believe that the majority of the wealth in this country is controlled by an elite few, much like a monarachy where the class system exists. A good many of them have made more money than Big ernie by hurting the environment and our world society as a whole. When our labor went overseas, that was our downfall. First was Mexico, then China. Hire people on the cheap and make bigger profits on Wall Street.

I believe that a justice system that has as many opportunities for corruption remains in place, the death penalty should be put on the top shelf. I have never understood how it's okay to kill somebody but we have to save a zygote. The death penalty does not deter crime, it encourages it as a way of life behind bars in privatized prisons. See what I mean? Nobody's in charge here but corporate. I do however believe and pray that once Holly Bobo's accused killer has gone through trial that he will be locked up for LIFE not just for her death but for his history of random violence and drug use. This piece of shit left jail just 9 days before he kidnapped her. Life in solitary. Forget about letting him off easy by putting him to sleep. The recent malfunctions with drug administration are pretty scary and gruesome even if they are guilty.

I believe that ever person, man woman or child, deserves to be loved for who they are, unconditionally just because. That's the kind of friends who will help you hide the bodies in the kudzu if it all gets to be too much. Ya'll better watch it or I might take up target practice from the water tower because we all know how easy it is to get a weapon these days. Thank you very much NRA. Oh, and Mitch McConnell? Two words. TERM LIMITS. So as I predicted the GOP has chosen the least of all their evils, a man who has moderated quite a bit lately to try and save his poor ass state. We shall see how that whole thing plays out because I remember horror stories from Kentucky about healthcare prior to the ACA. It's also where the land has been extensively damaged in the quest for coal. See corporate was in charge even then.

The difference between then and now is that we had the dream that someday life would be better and easier than our parents had it and for a while we did. The pace of change in our society over the 58 years since I was born has been phenomenal, largely because of better technology. Wouldn't it be a shame if we let our lust for power and $$ be our legacy.


Saturday, March 8, 2014

one for the road

Since I've learned my lesson on slushy driveways and the problems therein, I parked the Camry out by the road for a quick exit this morning at 6. All I had was my purse as I crept carefully through the mud and ice to the driveway (which also happens to be full of ruts and potholes. About halfway to the mailbox, my feet went out from under me but this time I landed on my knees and shook a couple of teeth loose I imagine. As I was driving home I remembered back to when we had a 15 inch snow in March when I was a kid. It was even too cold for me to wear my new sleeveless Easter dress up to the United Methodist church at Main and McGaughey. Several generations of my family have gone there for worship and fellowship and I am still a member, though not an active one. I take a lot of heat from folks who think regular church visits are what makes life complete and I beg to be different and worship Big Ernie in my own way. I was what you can call regular to a fault for all but about 10 years of my life until I decided that God would like it if I just slept in when I could and enjoy brunch with my parents because YOU KNOW I'll hear all about it from them. I've seen a conversation about who was sitting next to who last the entire ride home.

I'm seriously glad to see how little press is being given to Putin because frankly, now that the Olympics are over we have no business there. My friend Shannon posted a funny up in the middle of a heated discussion about his leadership and I knew then that it's the kinship that we get from connectivity that helps us to be more tolerant of others because we see so many other lives and their side of things. One of the maddest and saddest times of my life was when peaceful Muslims in our country were being harassed post 9/11. That's kind of like saying that because I'm a woman I can be "handled". In case you haven't noticed, I'm very obedient to a point but it doesn't take long for me to get there.

I'm going through House of Cards again at my leisure and picking up something different each time I re-watch a chapter. It has been said that this series is on the same level as Breaking Bad in acting excellence and I agree. Frank totally makes me want to kick ass and take names of corrupt government representatives. Russo breaks my heart because I've seen that story so many times in my life. Claire is hot and cold in a mixture that makes me want to scream cuss words. When I get tired of them I just go back to Nurse Jackie and Mr. White. Lionsgate has mad talent,yo.

I miss my BG and I know that we'll be hugging sooner rather than later so that's a good thing. Her absence has given me a clear picture of how BigE figures things out for us even when we can't begin to imagine that it's all okay. One of the things I ask myself now is "In ten years will this matter?" It kind of puts things in perspective for an obsessive worrier like myself. Personally I think we'll all be dead then or at the very least in zombie states because I'm not far from it right now and the evil Mr. Putin might attack us at any time. Or Michelle Bachmann could be president! Nah..the tea party has nobody to run because more and more republicans are choosing to be progressive and cross party lines. If they did? I'd probably see things in a whole different light.

Tomorrow is the first morning of DST and I don't know if my phone/alarm will fix itself so I've asked my friends at work to call me when it's time to drag my ass jump joyfully out of my warm bed with four dogs in it. Crazy dog lady?'s me.

Keep the faith ^j^

Friday, March 7, 2014

blue on black

I was all looking forward to not having to do snow/car work this morning and I'll be damned if I didn't get stuck in the freakin' driveway. Austin drove the Camry up the hill for me yesterday when it was slushy but this morning at 5 was a different story. I had to get Shannah up out of the bed to push me with her Subaru and I wish I had been a fly on the wall with all that tire squealing and praying for traction. The Cadillac is still nose down in a mud puddle so I hope we don't need it anytime soon. I've been parking away from the entrances at work because I'm obedient like that (hush) and of course we don't have breakfast anymore and everybody wanted some biscuits so I headed out to my car for a run to the gas station and *bam* there I went on my ass on the ice, like really hard. That's my second fall for this particular 5 day period and third for the entire winter. My arm is killing me in a way that naproxen won't touch and I'm on a streak at work. TGIF means nothing to this old girl today.

Even the kids are bored and ready to go see their friends, kind of like they get during the month of July when the novelty has worn off and it's too hot to think about doing anything outside unless you have a pool. Bound for me, this has been the biggest ice storm in the history of our area and damn near shut the place down for about three days. Folks who didn't have a way to go were just screwed unless there was a taxi run by somebody who was equipped. It wasn't until I saw the pavement on day three under the bumpy slush tracks that we had made that I understood how really bad it was for a place that's not accustomed to dealing with that sort of thing. We ran out of salt, which wouldn't have helped anyway because the stuff was over 5 inches thick. I'm enough of a survivalist/conspiracy theorist to believe that the downfall of this country will be a collapse of the infrastructure that was so carefully built until money ran out was diverted to other "important" things like wars and CEO salaries.

My aunt is still in the ICU following hip surgery I presume. Another thing that really struck me about this week of dicey weather is how patient transfer is affected for area hospitals. EMS can't take a chance in iced over roads and the choppers aren't very safe either. When that happens it's hunker down and take care of the job at home. It's kind of ironic that she and Mo got stuck there which is where they used to live. Full circle ya'll.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

the snice chronicles~day three

It did warm up just enough yesterday to cause, though not a total thaw by any means, some melting which should be cause for joy but Nooooooo. Six inches of snow and ice or snice as my friend Meredith named it, is a whole bunch of muck to drive through on bald tires. Which is how today's drama began with my "almost" stuckedness in the driveway to go to work. Yesterday was no prob...nice snow packed ice rink and the traffic was light. Our CEO was being Mr. Responsible and going around to pick up folks who either couldn't get there or were scared to try. One of them was our third shifter who lives in the Tatumville area where the Forked Deer river bottoms paint a picture of the real south. I'm sure there's kudzu around there somewhere as well. It took him several hours to get to her and back to the sawmill which is normally a much shorter trip. She was headed home from her other graveyard shift job only to find herself unable to go farther than a little church parking lot a bit away from the house. She called her son to come rescue her and left the vehicle there. Which is precisely what I did this afternoon.

By some odd stroke of spiritual intervention I rocked the Camry out of the driveway and got there with time to spare. One stop shopping at the drug/beer/everything else store on the corner and I was on a mission to get to my house after work. This is how that whole deal went...When I turned left from the road that was kinda' sorta' clear because the county maintains it onto Calcutt Farms Lane, aka Pecan Lane, the bald tires decided to teach me a lesson and refused to budge that car. At all. Stuck as a goose again! The Cadillac is mired in snowy mud now so it will have to dry out and oh my goodness. Thank God for roommates who are home when you call because Shannah came and rescued me in her all wheel drive Subaru and I said a silent prayer thanking the Japanese for that particular car. She and Boogers came to fetch grandma and we all got settled in the house when I couldn't find my phone anywhere. I called it with hers several times and remembered that I had dropped it in the snow a couple of times so I moved it to my coat pocket from my scrubs.

So, here I go with her phone in her car down the road calling my phone and praying to sweet baby Jesus that I don't get in that big ditch by the kudzu bank. Lord ya'll, they wouldn't find me 'til spring! Of course I found it safe and sound in MY car and all was well with that little fiasco. Probably the reason the whole day has seemed like a marathon is that I threw an F bomb this morning and the devil had his due with me. Or it could just because shit happens.


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

don't stop now

The commute to work this morning was uneventful because there was no traffic and the snow was still packed over ice for traction. On the way home was a WHOLE 'nother story. Most city streets had one lane clean in the center but everything else is a big mess. Plows are out now trying to scoop up what they can from today's slight thaw. It's a big fat honking goldarn mess as Doris would say. I wheeled into the parking lot of the bank and eased toward the drive through window as far as I could until I got stuck. Not to be outdone, I promptly left my car, walked up to the window with a check and almost scared the poor teller to death. I reckon she figured I was gonna' pull out a gun or something. She kindly said "You know we're open inside today" to which I tiredly replied "but my car's back there blocking the lane." Bless her little heart is what the lady surely thought. I managed to back most of the way out and get some speed up for a slushy exit.

The farm is beautiful when covered in the white stuff, especially near the river. The turkeys and deer get flushed out by rising flood water in the spring which is also a sight to behold. Crops don't get fully laid out until about June when the low lying fields dry up. I love driving down those dusty field roads to the river bed just to sit and reflect. Even as a child I did that, fascinated by the flow of water and how it can change over time. The Corp came through in the sixties and did some channels around the property which helped to keep us from getting flooded out EVERY year. Mom reminded me the other day of a spell when there was no electricity and they cooked on an outdoor grill in the snow! She may be old but she remembers everything and more. Just ask her who's kin to whose daddy'n'them.

My friend just stopped in for a visit on his way to work and we chatted about his lady and kids. He's a hard working guy who overcame a lot of childhood crap to grow into a man. Shannah's at work but will be off soon and scoop up the Gerber baby on her way home. After fits and starts and not many adjustments, we've blended the family quite nicely. Boundaries had to be set and options discussed. I talked to BG yesterday and she's dedicated to doing what's best for herself which is always good. That's all I ever really wanted for her because it took me many years to get there and I'm still not on some days. It is what it is and it was what it was. Move on ^j^


Monday, March 3, 2014


I should have known better than to leave the trusty old Camry under those oak trees in the side yard. Mid-afternoon yesterday it started icing like no tomorrow and when I got up this morning at 5 the snow was still falling. Problem number 1 was that all the doors were iced shut and I had no de-icer. Yeah, I know it was in the forecast but I forgot. After two phone calls to work to report my lack of progress and another fall which re-injured the shoulder that took the hit in December, I finally got the windshield clean enough to see so I put it in drive and...nada. Stuck as a goose. By this time I was figuring that it was Big Ernie's way of telling me to just say to hell with it and call in...which I did. It was the first time ever that I remember calling in because of the weather but I was truly stuck right here on this hill, much like when the big floods came. Only much MUCH colder. And I smell like vinegar because that's the only thing I had for the locks...that plus WD40.

Thank the lord I have roommates because it took three of us to get even one vehicle road worthy. At times like this I fantasize about having a garage or even carport. I've spent a lot of winter mornings scraping and freezing my ass off to report to work when all the teachers were sleeping in and drinking hot chocolate. I rarely carry an umbrella so I'm always dripping in the know that kind of Girl Scout gone bad in the "be prepared" department. Hey, I try but a significant icing event like this is enough to shut down entire cities. The western windows are all covered with ice as well and all the trees are gorgeous, especially when the sun comes out. Redbirds are looking around hungrily for the sunflower seed I neglected to buy.

My cousin called early today letting me know that my auntie has fallen and her hip is broken and requires surgery which can't be done today because of the weather. If I know morphine, it will keep her out of pain until the whole deal can be arranged. That's what it's about, no harm. Mama told me that the mail would run because they do regardless of rain, sleet or snow. These teenage kids behind me in the middle room are doing their best to aggravate both their mother and baby brother. I suppose they're too old to be thrilled with a day off from school. Not!

I'm watching House of Cards for the second time and paying more attention. Those little side chats of Frank's with the viewer are kinda' creepy but a good indicator of what he's really thinking while he shovels the bullshit that is politics today. Nurse Jackie went to rehab and her recovery is interesting to watch, particularly in a healthcare setting where availability was questionable prior to computerized dispensing devices. There are counts at the beginning and end of every shift and every time something's missing there is a paper trail that leads from the machine to HR. I read the other day about a super dooper opioid being pushed by the big fat manufacturer in spite of objections by pain control specialists and others. We don't need something more powerful, just accountability. Benzos and opiates are freely dispensed by foreign doctors who are running money mills and sending the $$ back home for jihad. My least favorite of them all looks like a bad terrorist, smells like a French whore and has dropped the door on my face more times than I care to remember. Not.A.Gentleman.

Wherever you are I hope you're happy with being stuck there. My brother just barely escaped to the Bahamas through a 12 hour window before the St. Louis airport closed and is presently more than likely having an adult beverage and playing poker or blackjack. And then of course there's the concert with Kid Rock. Mama said I should have gone with time I think I will! Knowing me I'd be too wound up to let loose and have fun. I reckon that's age creeping up on me. Anybody who works on my shouldr will get some free pecans, I promise. They're finally through falling now that it's March and there's snow on the ground. Jesus, what a long winter!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

as the world turns it's STILL winter and the ice is beginning to coat trees and bushes. I feel like a mole who's been burrowing around in the dark. Me and mama both hate to sweat and we reminded each other not to bitch when it turns off hot and humid. Which we totally will, of course. Because we can. Brunch today was at Mary Lou's where the dressing is almost as good as my mother's and the rest is great too. Real homemade pie ya'll. She's been in the restaurant business all her life and her two sons and grandson help run the show. Family tradition, so to speak. Mama wanted her strawberries over ice cream and they fixed her up in no time. My brother and his wife smile out from one of the pictures under the glass that includes generations of pilots. Mary Lou's b'friend Neal is quite a talented artist and his creations adorn the walls of the small cafe.

My ethereal friend Lorna has been in the keys for about six months an recently returned home because her mama's sick. It's really cool how two old gals from different west tennessee counties found that farming and pecans was something we had in common. I grew up knowing about everything that happens on one, not realizing at the time how much of the whole thing depends on the weather. Mama said she will never remember the crop where daddy gazed out the windows of our log cabin day after day watching it rot.You've never smelled stink unless you've been around a bunch of soybeans that got flooded. Ick and meh.

Got a call from brother today in Miami as he gets ready to board the cruise ship. His cabinmates are having a big time and there will most likely be lots of pics with Kid Rock Happy trails Bubba! Other brother of the younger sibling variety is bracing for several more inches of snow as that big winter storm marches across the map. Here's my theory: The Arctic areas are melting at such a fast pace that it's created a cooling effect as the vapor drifts around. could be right, you know? Not until you try, will you know. I do know that we have no business getting all up in Russia's or Ukraine's or anybody's government disruptions. Our duty to the ones living now and those who are to come is to at least leave it better than we found it, trashed and burning. Meanwhile the bonehead Congress we've got is intent on cutting services to those who have served their country in the military and returned as a broken mass of PTSD. It was bad, ya'll. My friend Steven found himself and his partner on a search and rescue mission and they switched positions. Sean died as he watched the hatred of zealots rained down on people with western ways. Tell me again how it wasn't all about oil.

On the flip side there are various opportunities to be distracted and forget about it all and one of those for me is writing. I rarely plan a subject and try to work around it to the meaning of the title. Which brings me around to my grandma Lottie who used to watch her "stories" on BandW TV and get off on other folks and their drama. I suppose we still do that today only with reality shows instead of fictional bored housewives. As the World Turns was her show and Days of Our Lives was mine. At some point, I decided that reality can be what you make it and decided to say how I feel, when I feel it and sorry if you can't deal with it, but. Umm. Hyper-obedience was once a flaw in my character. As in "i went to therapy for that". Now I don't care who you are even if you're the mighty Putin, I WILL call you out if I see mistreatment of others in any form or fashion of you step on my last nerve. In that case it depends on how annoying you are.

Booger has had a great birthday weekend being passed around and patted like the seriously cute Gerber baby that he is. He is pretty enough to eat and giggles like the baby that he is when tickled or played with. Little dude stayed here in the office the other day climbing the bookcase while I listened to music and tapped away. I can tell that my vision is failing so this desktop will need to be replaced with something easier to maneuver. I mean it's a 6 year old overloaded Dell with my mother's vision assistance keyboard. All yellow keys!

The buttercup buds right outside my bathroom window will likely get bit tomorrow night but there's always more. I'm listening to inspirational music today mixed with blues, rock'n'roll and classical. Some country. Lots of classic rock. Music is a mosaic of what life has been to me, much like the stained glass windows that I mentioned in the forward for my book.

Peace ^j^