Sunday, August 30, 2009

mortified and southern fried

Listen ya'll. Mama would just lay down and die a slow southern belle's death if she knew how dirty my old Camry is. That was corrected today with a good dose of well water and elbow grease. Plus the sponge mop for hard to reach locations like the roof. I may be short, but I ain't a dummy.

My wrist is on the mend thanks to Dr. Barton and a good dose of non-compliance by the patient. The bandages are off....let the healing begin. Praise the Lord and pass the peroxide! I could have milked this one for at least a month, boss. Don't you just LOVE a team player?

It's been a family sort of weekend which is exactly what I needed since things are changing with the dynamics of this whole deal. BG and I helped mom empty out the china cabinet so the carpenter could get in there and make the breaker box more accessible. She told us where every piece came from and we got permission to stop by the cabin and pick up a few more things that are pertinent to the history of this farm.

A cool front moved through and kicked the humidity's ass on over toward the east coast so the windows are wide open. I'll pay for it tomorrow, so ya'll remind me to take a benadryl before bed. Normally, this would be labor day weekend but the calendar is all messed up this year so my birthday is the SECOND week of September. Gah. Can't a girl get a break here and there?

More later. Hug somebody like you mean it ^j^

Saturday, August 29, 2009

taking care of business

I rarely turn the tv on at all, and usually neverl on weekends. This morning I was in the mood so I punched the remote and spent a a little bit of time watching the powers that be memorialize Ted Kennedy. What most impressed me was the cadre of military who carried his body from the hearse to the basilica, never missing a step because there was somebody calling out commands for every action. It was the end of an era for this old gal.

Kristin took the wheel today and we went on a roadtrip with Mom, Aunt Granny and BG to lunch at the Just Divine tearoom down in Lauderdale County. The food was great and they got to see some old friends gathered there for class reunion. This place is an entire little village of to-die-for things that I certainly can't afford but many others seem to be snatching up. No recession down there, if you know what I mean. I've never been much of a shopper anyways.

Daddy was in his chair when we got home, watching some sort of cowboy show with the document in hand for me to sign because, hey...we have to be fair and all that. The really sad thing is that after I got home, mama called to ask me to type it up all legal like so that the estate would be even when they pass onto glory. If my math is correct, I'm paying them back monthly on a loan allowing me to live in this ancient rattrap of a house so that I'm close enough to respond to any little emergency like no bananas or diet coke. Bubba and I agree that if the roots weren't here, we'd be moving on to a place where small town politics don't matter.. wherever the hell that might be.

I'm done with this rodeo. Mama said I ought to get outside of myself now and then and do something that I love to do. She might be right.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

as the world burns

Back in the sixties, a whole bunch of us hippie types started huggin' trees and embracing an entirely new philosophy that was at odds with the Cleaver family and the majority of public opinion. It was about peace and love and live and let it be. Forty years later, I don't see a damn bit of change in this country except that there's a whole bunch of us who have family pictures with servants included. That was the south back in those days and we saw water fountains and buses with negro only signs plastered, not very discreetly, dividing the races.

Somewhere between then and now, the ones who run our country have decided that, in the name of being politically correct, we shall invent ginormous government programs to help those who could help themselves, but choose not to. Also, in the meantime, corporate America has taken several huge hits for being greedy. Me and you and all the rest of the middle income folks? We're just stuck with it because hey....more federal government means more job security for more big brother and less individual choice for us schmucks aka tax paying citizens. When we are old or otherwise disabled, there are politicians who decide on what care we will receive and how it will be administered. It all began with Medicare, and the kazillion dollar industry known as insurance follows their lead paying extra to those who manage to get it done quickly and charge out the ass, bankrupting many with the hope of keeping grandma or cousin junior alive for another six months while skimping on the pain meds.

The DEA is a huge government operation devoted to addressing the root cause of drug abuse busting medicinal marijuana users and taking no prisoners. It's pure and simple job security for big ike cop types who get paid really well for their valiant attempts to stop the rampant crime wave that results from eating all the cookies after a doobie. Makes me damn proud to be an American, ya know? Long may she wave.

I'm disgusted with this country and it doesn't have anything to do with Obama Pajama Mama. Looking back over the rise and fall of the good old USA, I blame most of it on we, as villagers, failing to do the right thing at the right time. Lord knows I've tried, but the devil seems to be catching up to me and causing a lapse in faith. Wildfires in California. Dead Kennedys lying in repose while the MSM swarms like vultures over the great state of Massachusetts and the city of Boston in particular. Non-partisan is my middle name. Both parties have shitheads who get elected just because they affiliate with the lobbyists moneychangers at the temple. My Jesus don't care for that at all. It tends to make him kick over the tables in an angry fit rage, if memory serves me correctly. Don't quote me on that...I haven't been to church in a long time.

BG had a bad experience the other day on the way to visit a social service client up in northern Dyer County. As fate would have it she was the first responder to a fatal accident where the driver got thrown from her vehicle. Her pulse was faint and she wasn't breathing. BG called 911 and stayed with her until they got there. We didn't know for sure until today that she was dead..thirty something with her whole life in front of her and it was over in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes, that's the way Big Ernie works. I don't understand it at all, but faith keeps me believing that there's a reason for everything.


Monday, August 24, 2009

post op notes

Regardless how small the incision is, it still hurts when somebody cuts your flesh with a knife and puts stitches up in there. I've decided that the mysterious blister that appeared on the side of my left hand was from some kind of shot that made my hand numb, after I passed smooth out on some sort of knock out drug. It has not been a restful recovery what with all the dirty clothes laying around and needing to be washed down at mama's house. Since I've been going to bed super early, I woke up and headed down there with all the towels and a few panties and bras. We did a load and made a dollar store list. Meanwhile, daddy decided to go for a walk down to Gerald's house. It's a straight shot after you pass Clara's place. I noticed when I wheeled back into the driveway that there was a car backing out. When I walked in, my daddy's little head was barely visible over the back of the recliner. The neighbors had picked him up and brought him home.

I went around to say hi and saw that his face was covered with blood. Mama, bless her heart ya'll know she can't see, didn't even know he was banged up. I wiped up the blood and snot like most "almost nurses" do automatically and applied ice to the big bloody schnoz he had going on. About that time church lady showed up with lunch and nobody was much in the mood for anything but a group hug. She could tell we were hopelessly helplessly trying to keep the faith without going to the ER for high priced treatment.

Mama had an appointment with her primary care physician this afternoon and I went out to score a new washing machine while the nurses took care of their prescription needs. The doctor took every bit of shit she had to dish out, and then some. I dunno...maybe he likes old people or something. I suppose that a gerantologist would have to possess that passion for the elderly to keep his or her sanity. This guy is a farmer on the side and tends to wander on about crop futures. Beans are good this year, BTW. Book 'em early.

I'm home now, with the puppies that and spoiled rotten cat. There's a new washer coming in the am. Can't keep a clean house without one, ya know. Remind me to thank the sawmill for allowing me the opportunity to acquire bi-lateral carpal tunnel syndrome for their benefit and on my dime.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

learning to be still

This little recovery period from surgery has been very good in more ways than just pain relief. I've slept at least ten hours every single night and spent the rest of the time resting and piddling. Since the weather turned off nice, the front porch has been a favorite spot. The dogs love it when I sit out there and watch them play. Right now? They're all piled up on the couch having a siesta. Anna and Conner came out for a party on the porch yesterday afternoon. He picked flowers for the centerpiece and fed the dogs our snacks and by golly, his bug juice fit just right into that coozie. Good times.

BG's dad is out of the hospital and doing okay, but she was mighty worried about him, and rightfully so. His cardiac and blood pressure histories are pretty scary for a guy without health insurance. The one good thing that came of it is that they applied for TennCare for him at the hospital. If anybody ever deserved that help, he does. Contract laborers make up a large portion of the workforce and they don't usually get benefits.

Fast forward to today and I find a visitor coming up Pecan Lane to sit on the porch. That, my friends, is always a good thing. Pain and sorrow shared is much easier to handle than dealing with all of it alone.


I still haven't read a book as I'd planned, but that's okay. Once the hand heals so I can prop on it while I read...I'll be in business for the winter. I'm also sifting through boxes and files of papers organizing things for the cookbook. As a procrastinating fool, I've vowed to make that a reality while my mom is still here to get the kudos. Too late for a Christmas roll-out....maybe Mother's Day :)

If ya'll need me I'll be on the porch.

Keep the faith ^j^

Saturday, August 22, 2009

graveside rites

Me and Yaya and her crew met up at the skateboard park this morning to break in line caravan over to the cemetary for Mama Jean's funeral. I couldn't find the tent and she called just in the nick of time to save me from being unfashionably early. Thanks the lord it wasn't 100+ like it usually is in late August. Carney and Yaya rode up front and I slipped into the back seat with JC and Ian. The bible got passed around from hand to hand which is not a bad way to enter whatever that paradise is called when you don't get stuck in purgatory. Oh, yeah. Heaven.

I eased toward the mailbox when I got home and found a card from Harrisbug, PA. All's I can say is that I took a deep breath and said "thank you lord" for people who care enough to make a difference, one day at a time. That's how I try to live my own life and it's kind of a faith thing when somebody else joins the circle and holds my hand.

Ya'll keep the faith ^j^

Friday, August 21, 2009

cash for clunkers, healthcare reform and bargain shopping

This sick leave has given me some time to ponder the state of the union and my circumstances, in particular. Let's take the last week, for instance. My 32 year employment with a healthcare provider allows me the privilege of purchasing health insurance at a premium that is not really affordable for those who are in the lower wage bracket down there close to the minimum. Hell, I can barely afford it myself as a licensed professional caregiver with one dependent and a bunch of federal credit union loan payments coming out bi-weekly. Now, BG's ER co-pay of one hundred bucks will be deducted from my check as well. I doubt seriously I'll donate to the United Way this year just to make my company look like a community team player.

The trusty old camry is almost nine years old and has only 60K miles on the original engine, maybe twenty on the new block. It has dents, scratches and three bad tires but I think I'll keep it because it's almost paid for. Down to the principal, so to speak. I bought that sucker at lease end because I had no other options and damn if it hasn't been the best car I've ever owned paid for. With apologies to Dirty Mike, if American automakers produced that sort of reliable product, there would be far less drama. Catalytic converter, my ass.

When BG was a teenager, she expected...and got...high priced duds from AE and Gap and all of the other name brand retailers that cater to teenage peer-pressured spoiled rotten kids. Buying into that philosophy cost me a lot of money and she was no better for it. These days, we both wear what's comfy and dress it up with Athena's beads when the situation requires a "girls just want to feel pretty" accessory.

Maybe there's some sort of method to all of this madness after all.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

when it rains it pours

I had just clocked into work Monday morning when my phone rang and it was BG crying like a baby with abdominal pain. One three hour ER visit later, it was determined that instead of kidney stones she was uh, how shall I say this....full of crap. "From cecum to anus" is how the doc put it :) Gotta love a sense of humor in an ER. It took two days of medication to get things moving properly, if you know what I mean.

I came home Tuesday to find her bailing water out of the officially dead-as-a-doornail washer. We wrung the clothes out best as we could and hauled 'em down to my Mom's. Somebody will make a washer purchase in the next few days if the credit gods are smiling on Pecan Lane. If not, I'll use the rocks on the patio after my hand heals.

Yesterday was my surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome and it went quite well..I even got a little cocky about the lack of pain. UNTIL I woke up this morning with no darvocet in my system and the nerve block had gone away. Not. fun. Being not so cocky any more, I'm becoming a lot more still and relaxing so that it can heal. BG changed the bandage yesterday afternoon and is an excellent nurse. The surgeon said that nerve was flat as a pancake. Hmmm...

Today, she came home for lunch with the news that her dad is in the hospital with a possible second heart attack. It's been ten years since he got stented up so the timing is about par for the course. He's scared and so is she. Essentially, she's all the family he's got. She and our sometimes off-and-on roommate are headed that way right now to see what's up.

Tough women? You bet your sweet ass honey. We learned it the hard way.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

the yard girl

I never thought I'd be doing it again, but there I was driving Daddy's John Deere up Pecan Lane to mow the hay yard. There were no vehicle failures this morning, so they made it to church and we all enjoyed lunch at you-know-where. Their preacher got married last week so it was sort of an introduction of the new wife and her family. I can honestly say that none of the ministers there ever came single and left married. Well, except for Mark and Donna.. but that was another chapter. There was this one guy who got caught boinking the church secretary and went away to UMC oblivion. As I recall, he had greasy black hair and most likely never called his mother.

Bubba was afraid I'd break it but I drove that sucker right back into the shed and locked up. The landscape looks much different in my acre than it did last summer, BTW. That dang earthmover got carried away and created a ledge all around the driveway that's a bitch to navigate on a riding mower. That's when the drama started. Mama did all the talkin' and Daddy just kind of sat there looking pitiful. She asked me to be honest about the money situation and asked what they could do to help. Ya'll, that's when I just broke down like a little kid ashamed to be lettin' them down. She told me about how they wouldn't be here forever and that I needed to think about the future. Truth be told, I'm still here because they need me. When that is not a factor...well, I don't know.

I received the loveliest message last week from a friend of my parents who reminded me that I have some gifts and I might not be using them in the way that Big Ernie truly intended. Since I'm an angel sort of gal, that is where I will direct my energy from now on. Or at least for today.


Saturday, August 15, 2009

loving me some saturday

My little hermit self marched right up into the kudzu bar yesterday afternoon for the first time in MONTHS to celebrate a friend's 50th birthday party and we had a ball. We all used to get together on a regular basis to shoot the bull up there but life has gotten so busy and complicated that the ritual has fallen by the wayside. I hate it when that happens. Deb was totally surprised and delighted to be the guest of honor and proudly wore her "old and grumpy" hat. There was beer and there were laughs. Good times!

Just a few more days until my surgery and I'm ready to get it over with. Hopefully by this time next month the numbness, tingling and pain will be history. My plans for the week of recovery include nothing more than pain meds and a stack of books that have been woefully neglected by this formerly ravenous bookworm. BG plans on playing nurse for the week since I won't have much use of the left hand for awhile. She's asleep on my mother's couch as I type, floating on benadryl for her perpetual allergy attacks. Poor thing's eyes were almost swollen shut yesterday so it was back to the urgent care for a shot of decadron, dosepak and antibiotics. Ever since she was a small child, she's had problems with that sort of thing. We made numerous road trips to pediatric dermatologists to no avail so it's treat the symptoms as they occur. We know the drill by heart now.

Readers of Poop Happens might recall that my mom and I share the gift of "seeing fall" before it actually arrives. Normally the first sighting is mid to late July but this year it didn't happen until a couple of days ago. Must be global warming or something.

I've been reading bits and pieces of hysteria about the healthcare reform bill with special interest toward the end of life care piece that will probably be pulled out to satisfy the rabid republican bitching about "death panels". This particular piece would provide medicare coverage for physicians to counsel the elderly and terminally ill on end of life care options. The drama has expanded to include such accusations as "prelude to euthanasia" and other such nonsense. No wonder healthcare is in such a mess. Nobody wants to accept the fact that life on earth is finite, and sometimes comfort and quality are more important than longevity. I'm not talking euthanasia at all.....just dignity and respect for the right to make a choice rather than feeding more money into the already overloaded healthcare budget for futile care.

It's hay baling time here on the farm with big round bales laying all around the landscape. The other day when I drove by there were about six turkeys perched on top of the bales down the lane. They are notorious for flying away before you can get a pic so I just said "awwww" and drove past them. Never a dull moment here on Pecan Lane.

Ya'll enjoy the weekend.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I've been in one of those moods....where you just want to crawl in the hole and cover yourself up with dirt to save 'em the trouble of singing hymns graveside. It's been a mighty long time since I've felt like this and so I'm stumped with how to handle it other than trudge on through the quicksand with one eye out for rainbows. After tossing and turning and wiggling toes all night I overslept and got a call ten minutes AFTER I was due at work. *sigh* Heckuva a way to start the day. At least it wasn't Monday.

Going on the assumption that there's just some sort of evil star crossed karma going on in my horoscope, I've been counting blessings since my feet hit the floor. Yesterday afternoon BG and I sat at the kitchen table staring at each other in disbelief that life has gotten so damned complicated after we've managed to keep our heads above water this far along in the race. We ended up giggling and snorting like idiots over one of her clients throwing grandma in the grave in a body bag, so you know we were demented.

I've been busy negotiating with creditors trying to figure a way out of this mess some way other than turning tricks down on town square and pimping out the dogs. Most of them are eager to keep a loyal customer so they're willing to give some grace on due dates. It's sort of like working a puzzle figuring out who to rob to keep this or that going so some non-essentials are biting the dust. Like home phone service, for example. The only folks who have called the land line within the last year or so are family and very close friends and they know the other one is in my pocket at all times. Why pay for a service does nothing but cause you to get up and take off running to find the handset. Poof. Gone. The next item on the list to slash was the yardmowing crew. Travis, bless his heart, offered to run me a tab from here to next summer and I could "pay him when things are better." It was tempting but, hey. As long as I don't step on a snake out there, I can deal with it. I get one more turn out of the deal and I hope they shave it down to the dirt.

There's not much else to cut. We already shop at the Dollar General and eat viennas. Therefore, my utmost desire is for all you potential Sugardaddies out there to line up with your completed applications and allow me to choose the lucky one. As long as there's not bag-over-the-head required and you've got a good sense of humor, you're in the game.

Keep the faith kids. ^j^

Sunday, August 9, 2009

catch 22

Today has not been one of my favorites, so far. I got up and ready early so I could do some errands before picking my parents up at church for a Perkins run. The trouble began when I tried to start the trusty eight year old Camry with its' original battery that has been sorta weak lately. As in multiple boosts. Last weekend at work I amazed Sara with my automotive knowledge by using HER battery to boost mine. She's got a guy who comes to the rescue for all that stuff. Anyhoo....the old battery gave up the ghost today and luckily there are stores who sell them on Sunday morning. Eighty five bucks. That's about eighty five that I needed to pay on something else before services are terminated.

It's at times like these that I realize how easy it is to pay with plastic and vow to catch up next month. I'm a veteran of that from back in the day when the economy was better and credit was easy. It ended me up in BK court, which was also quite easy...but the time. I re-affirmed on my vehicle, let the rest go and never looked back. Now the only credit I have is from people who know and trust me and realize that "in the end" I will pay them. As the crunch continues, they're all struggling to make ends meet, just like I am. As for the big money CEOS and those who can't afford a new BMW this year, boo freakin' hoo ya'll.

The kinda-sorta off and on roommate was here to help so I didn't have to install it. It took us 30 minutes to get all the dogs in the house so we could leave and by then I looked like I'd just gotten out of the pool. Only I wasn't cool. Not a pretty sight. I did, however, make it to the church in time and they could see right off I wasn't in any mood for Perkins or anything other than my somewhat air conditioned old house and the dogs. Mama's been asking me if I need a pill lately. Maybe I ought to take her up on it.

Nothing is free, and pay as you go is the best way. Unfortunately, for a lot of families that's the problem. When two college educated women have to ask the local electric company to split the bill in half over two paychecks, something is bad wrong with America. I could give a rat's ass if Wall Street rallies. I just want to be able to not struggle so hard. My daddy grew up in the Great Depression as a sharecropper's son. Now THAT? Was tough.

Outsourcing is one of the major culprits. Slave labor in other countries where opportunities to make money have been scarce is suddenly a big business. If we, as a country, are so collectively great, why do we not give those jobs to citizens who want to work. HERE. And pay taxes. HERE. In the good old US of A. I'll tell you why.......because somebody doesn't want to have to cut their travels abroad or tell their spoiled rotten kid that they can't have the latest cellphone.

Didn't mean for this to be a rant, but damn if it didn't. Kiss my ass corporate America.


Saturday, August 8, 2009

Friday, August 7, 2009

the motherhood

There's something quite beautiful to me about a newborn's head all soft and fuzzy and especially so when it's a c-section baby who doesn't look like the newest member of the conehead family. Miles Anthony David finally got birthed after giving his momma fits for about 32 hours. I was sweetly surprised to witness her poise and grace while she trudged through that long labor what with all the family commotion in the birthing room. Early yesterday morning before the hordes arrived, I snuck in to have a private moment with her before she came "another one of my kids who HAS a kid". We sat in the gentle sunshine of early morning and talked about the progress and what she needs at the shower that won't happen until after the birth, as it works out. Nothing like having the baby present!

Earlier in the week one of my other daughters showed up after I was in the bed, needing to vent about something. She's having a tough time because HER mom has moved to Chicago for awhile to care for aging parents. She stood by my bed, going off Anna style, and then she began to sob. "I just want to crawl up in my mama's lap and cry!" Boy, do I know THAT feeling. We hugged until it passed, me horizontal and her upright bawling like a baby. Just another day in paradise.

Working in a hospital has given me plenty of opportunity to witness the joy of new life and the passage of it toward the next and mucho better place. I was talking to my co-worker today about how that has helped to strengthen my faith. I guess i sort of see it as a ministry within a job at the sawmill.

Welcome to the world little dude. For what it's worth, we've got your back.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

hot damn...we got us a baby to play with

As sure as Ernie is Big, when several died another sprung forth not in much of a hurry to face today's world with all the hate and violence therein. Little Davey was born within the last hour and sorta' looks like a newborn baby all wrinkled up and stuff. Ya'll know they all look alike. When I saw his picture on the phone all of the sadness of this week faded away. Conner was drawing scary houses while me and his Mom shot the shit about how it's almost Friday and that's "a very good thing". We're tough but we know our limits.

Angel dust flew today. My friend-boss told me yesterday that her hubby's mom was officially DNR and not eating or drinking. She died while we talked about her in the break room over bacon and toasted english muffins. With butter and jelly, of course. Right before I left Sue called with the news that her son Jeff had suffered a massive heart attack. He got the clot buster and flew out to get stented up, but there was some damage. George hasn't been gone that long so it was pretty scary for the family.
Somehow, this baby being born makes it all okay in the book that is keepin' the faith.

Not sure what his name is, but I think there's four of them or so. Film at 11.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

the devil goes down to dyersburg

Sunday evening there was a shooting here in the 'burg. From what I can piece together, there were allegations by a teenager that her father was molesting her. Child services placed her in protective custody with old friends of her father who lived on the same street. Only Big Ernie knows what set her father off, but he climbed the water tower, so to speak, and started picking folks off with a gun. His friend and ex-business partner was first...shot dead in the yard. He also killed his own daughter and nailed the friend's wife but she survived. Then he proceeded to off himself out in a nearby field. Three people dead. Four children without fathers in a blink of an eye. Don't tell me Satan didn't have something to do with that.

I have done business with the innocent guy who was killed for about a year now and he has always been kind and true and helpful to this overworked underpaid single gal with a wagon load of financial problems. I just had to drive by his office today and see the black ribbon hanging on the front door to believe that it was all true. That kind of evil sends a chill up my spine.

I think it's the randomness of the violence that shook me most. There is no predictive index or gaussian curve that can protect us from that sort of anger induced rage. I reckon there's a plan up in there somewhere. Not sure of what good could come of killing people but I don't know much about worldly things.

Most of what I know is about faith in the future.


Monday, August 3, 2009


Me and mama and Miss Ruth loaded into the trusty old camry today for a lunch adventure. long has it been since we even left town??? I will always regret not going to Reelfoot for fish with Miss Mattye and her girls. Truth be told I had a serious thing for the younger brother who hauled fertilizer all over the dang world for his daddy. It never went anywhere but I think about him every time I pass that giant bottomless pond at the Trimble exit. Gotta hand it to him...he stuck with me until I got out again. My ex was a wonderful man and still is. It just didn't work out.

Needless to say my visits to northern Dyer County were much more numerous in the months to come. There's this blurry line up there where Dyer lines up with Obion and Gibson and the river spills out all over the cropland in the spring. Sort of like here on the farm, if you know what I mean. My brother carefully crafts the lay of the land to preserve wildlife and enhance the irrigation system which consists of lots heavy equipment from the county highway department and one crazy ass contractor on a bullozer with a mission to create the holy grail right here on my yard lawn. Just my luck, ya know?

Anyways, Farmer Boy cut me loose after the divorce and we never even did the deed. I reckon it was a friend thing. Or maybe an I-like-skinny-crazy-ass-bitches thing. Beats the hell out of me why some chubby middle aged guy with a woman who loves he and his family would go on the road and not stay in touch. Dude probably needs a wakeup call.

I thought about the Dog today after me and the girls had lunch down around 51 south towards Brighton. It dawned on me that we all make changes in our lives based on gut feelings and faithful belief in karma and the power of prayer. Sometimes they don't turn out to be what we prayed for.

Amen ^j^

Sunday, August 2, 2009

my best friend is a 9V battery

No, wait. That's probably a somewhat lewd statement that shouldn't be posted on a family blog such as this one. Actually what I was talking about was the portable power for my TENS unit. Sometimes it's the only thing that will knock the knots out of my neck and shoulders. Nothing much else in the tension relief department seems to be available at this time. *meh*

There's this bitch woman that I work with who finds great joy in spreading misery all around the place at every available opportunity. Let's just call her "Ms. Martyr" for fiction's sake. MM has a mouth that carries from here to the next wing and doesn't hesitate to tell you how she's worked her ass off harder than anybody else and deserves better treatment that what she gets from us slackers up in that lab. Woe be unto the unsuspecting field rep who is stuck listening to her latest adventures while attempting to repair the analyzers. MM reminds me an awful lot of Risible Girl's train nazi.

Her free time ( of which there is mucho ) is usually spent doing eighty brazillion things for other people and projects which, frankly, just wears her out too much to be nice to her fellow team members at the sawmill. Don't you ever DARE try to help her because if you don't do it her way, well. It doesn't count. I'm talking Bridezilla not so gently blended with an evil version of Mommy Dearest on her worst day, which rolls around way too often for me. I'm just a peace loving old hippie like that. It doesn't help things at all that she's perimenopausal. Let's just get this thing done Big KNOW she's too old to have kids. Besides, they would probably keep her from saving the world or something.

Everybody who's ever had a job knows somebody like that...the stealer of your joy when there's a chance to kick back and enjoy a few moments of meaningful conversation in between putting out fires. She stuck her head in the breakroom door the other day to announce that there was a job task to be done and she needed somebody to do it because she's too busy fuming and huffing and stomping around in a hormonal rage. All I can say is "bless her heart." Life is short and she's wasted a whole bunch of it being pissed off. Perhaps there will be mansions in heaven or something equally regal in a payback sort of way.

Pardon me while I look for opportunities to work from home.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

don't let the basil bloom (and other random thoughts)

My garden has downsized itself to pots of herbs and peppers surrounding the tree out back. This is my second year to grow them in pots and I must say that it's the lazy woman's way to grow things, but I love it. I read somewhere that if basil blooms, the leaves become bitter so the little flowers-to-be get pinched off on a regular basis. Basil freezes well, I've learned.

Before the big storm that smashed Memphis the other night I got a text from an old friend down there. "Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!" he wrote. It's an old joke from back in the day when we were thick as thieves and he still watches the radar for northwest tennessee tornadoes. I'll tell ya'll what....a severe thunderstorm up on top of this hill can be mighty scary, but it's a great view.

Since I was awake early, I spent the morning out on the porch enjoying the breeze and the critters in advance of the next wave of weather this afternoon. This is bound to be a record breaking summer for rainfall around here. And OF COURSE, this is the year that I choose to pay somebody to mow the yard. Sheesh.

That praying mantis is still living next to my keyboard, but he looks a bit worn out. Not sure what his lifespan is but he's hanging in there with me as I type. Outside the window there is a purple butterfly bush swarming with activity. In the distance I can see the old dairy barn peeking through the overhanging pecan trees. I can't believe it took me this long to change the view.

BG and her friends are horrified about the news that a friend hung himself. I don't know about ya'll, but I ain't into pain. If I were gonna do myself in it would be with a lethal cocktail or something....forget the guns and ropes. Sometimes I wonder how one gets to that point....where there is absolutely no hope. I've been through a lot of emotional pain but never once considered leaving this world by my own hands.

Surgery for the hand pain is two weeks away and I'm ready to get 'er done. The nerve damage is pretty severe and won't get better until that little tendon gets snipped. Of course there's the little matter of having no grip for 6-8 weeks but I reckon BG can open jars for me. I should be able to keyboard in a week which is when I'll be back at work. Wonder if they'll miss me like when I was on vacation? *snicker*

It is quiet here with all dogs napping on their respective beds and couches. For some odd reason the cat has chosen the cushion of the chair in front of the 'puter as HER favorite spot. I just pick her up and move her and she never misses a beat on her catnap.

Ya'll enjoy the day and keep the faith ^j^