Wednesday, February 28, 2018

tennessee flood

Well, it just keeps on raining every other day so naturally the rivers are still rising.  When I was at the corner market the lady told me that old 51 from Halls is shut down due to flooding and she had to turn around and take a different route to work.  The road behind Tucker tire is closed and water is creeping into residential Southtown.  Tomorrow is forecast to bring more rain.  Lerd.  This usually doesn't happen until May!

I've been going through old pictures and found some yesterday from a camping trip when Lauren was about fiveish.  One of them is of a boat filled with Lauren, John and Eric Lanier and cousin Buddy at the helm.  I sent it to John and he picked himself right out in the red hat.  There are others which will go to the folks in them.  I love doing that kind of thing....spreading memories.  

Cousin Mo and Ron brought out some furniture yesterday because they're redecorating the living room.  The chair is huge and stuff....just right for holding a baby.  At this point I'm just putting things in the living room until I find out where I'm going to live.  

Good news from Dick's!  Their leadership has made the decision to NOT sell the type of weaponry used in mass shootings.  Will it cut into their profits?  Probably not because they'll pick up new customers out of respect for what they've done.  I've never been in the place but I want to go buy something just to say thanks.

Mueller is quietly doing his job and the whole collusion is coming out.  The fall of Kushner will be the domino that takes the rest of it down.  I wish nobody harm....just for justice to be done.

And remember.  Turn around.....don't drown ~

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

another day about me

Rather doing all the beauty work at once last week I opted for just a cut and returned today for color and facial waxing, which I've never had.  I totally LOVE it and Marla makes me feel special.  I stopped by the scrapyard on the way in and settled up.  

Afterwards I headed to my crack store aka Pennington's for some pansies.  Bill didn't appear to have any out.  Anywho, now I've got a bum knee that I have to baby so planting will be tricky.  The only two herbs were rosemary and lavender and I got one of each.  Plus I got to see my favorite guys like Stanley.  It's early and they know I'll be back. Pennington's sits across from The Mill Workspace where my friend Chris is starting up a co-work business.  There are new facades and new construction all over downtown.  Somebody open a dang grocery store please!!

Go Parkland kids GO!

Monday, February 26, 2018

the forked deer tour

As I pulled out of the lane this morning I noticed that the water is up to the spot where Daddy used to put a stake for measurement during the flood.  I headed to the chicken store for gas and saw the North Fork also creeping up next to Southtown.  Heading toward Jackson I crossed the flats as I like to call them and it was full to the brim.  My biggest fear is driving off into flood water when this stuff is only 2 feet deep.  

I arrived to find a happy but tired baby and we talked and visited while Lauren did her chores.  About the time we were mid snuggle on the floor my phone rang and I had to de-baby and talk to my LTD claims manager.  Time is of the essence ya know.  That didn't take long and I also got to watch two guys move a ginormous TV down the sidewalk while we talked.   Bonus points for entertainment.  The day started cool but warmed up quickly.  On the way home I did the deed and got the scrap company to come get the Cadi.  It's been sitting for two years and before we used it, had been up much longer than that.  I took Mom and Daddy to church in it and it was a gift from my late friend JL Yarbro.  Dance in the Graveyard Count Z.

Laughter? Is the best medicine ~

Sunday, February 25, 2018

ctrl alt del

Well I have been "unfriended" for the 2nd time by the same person who doesn't like my demolibtard gun control posts.  I was hoping we could keep the dialogue going but he chose the other route.  I can't help but believe that if we can just meet in the middle things will be much less divisive and hostile.  Maybe I'm just a dreamer.  But I'm not the only one.  

We dodged several bullets last night with the weather.  There was a tornado sighting in Ridgely and twisters hit Union City and Osceola.  I went to sleep listening to the wind howling and thunder.  Off and on, of course.  Gotta listen for those weather alerts.

For the victims of tornados, this is the morning after.  I've seen it a million times around here where people are wandering in the rain looking for their stuff.  There are a million chain saws running and more than one big ass truck waiting to haul off the damage.  We are smack in the middle of tornado alley which begins around Okalahoma maybe?  There's something about the Big Muddy that stirs things up.

So I have 4 tvs on the way two of which I have to track and reroute tomorrow.  Call LTD.  I have no idea what my income will be and must purchase health insurance.  Scrap Cadi.  Looks like a busy couople of days.

Peace ~

Saturday, February 24, 2018

damned government

Well the idiots who gave me a refund when I OWE them have totally screwed my daughter.  Lauren has worked hard to get in good standing with her student loans so that there wouldn't be a snag in her tax refund.  She has plans for every penny of it which includes paying off a giant debt from two years ago so that she can get mobile.  She received notice that her refund is being offset to the Department of Education even though she's been making payments.  And of course it's the weekend and nobody is available to answer her questions.  There is an appeals process and we'll be exploring that.  When I think about how hard she has worked at her job, recovery and being a mom it makes me want to punch somebody.  We are all just a number to them.  

It's another rainy one and the fields and ditches are full of the Forked Deer with nowhere to go.  One of the neighbors brought his godson up here for an up high view of the whole flooding situation.  It's best from the field road across from the house.  Jacob has a dirt bike and has to be escorted now because of driving through people's yards and fields.  On probation, so to speak.  

There's a break in the rain so I need to go pick the first buttercups!  Happy spring.

Friday, February 23, 2018

all about me day

I had two appointments this morning, the first with Marla the Wonderful at Headlines for a cut.  Color comes next week plus some work on those bushy eyebrows.  I left there for a treatment with Gay who brought along her own little tribe of Mama and dogs.  Huck loves me now and Pearl is beginning to.  I love going both places equally.  Chucky and I can gossip from here to next year if you know what I mean.  

I passed the mailman on the way home and found my box stuffed with goodies like a signed t-shirt from the famed blues guitarist and singer Lew Jetton.  There was also a cute clearance dress for Reaves from Old Navy.  I tried to order a smart TV yesterday but I think my computer crashed before it was finalized.  We shall see.

The paperwork is never ending but I'm paying off bills so that I can afford it when my salary is not there.  The Cadi will soon be scrap and the yard won't look so trashy.  I mean seriously ya''s been sitting there for two years. case of inclement weather tomorrow you will not find me in the basement full of water because that's where Mr. Snake lives.  Hell to the naw.


Thursday, February 22, 2018

the luxury of time

I started to work as a lifeguard at the Moose Pool when I was in my mid-teens thanks to my mother's connections to the lodge governor. We made 50 cents an hour for years on end and not only sat in the stand but babysat a bunch of kids who got dropped off and served them snacks from the little shack at the entrance where we took money or checked passes.  Somebody called the labor board on them for underpaying us and we all got a big chunk of settlement on back pay.  I worked that job until I graduated from high school and started at DSCC.  I also worked at Acred shoe store and babysat for one of my favorite teachers during college.  After two years there I headed to ( what was then ) Memphis State and the UT Center for Health Sciences where I graduated in 1977.  Within two months I had a job that I kept for 40 years and some change.  I owned a house, sold it and moved to the country to raise 4 year old Lauren.  I took call for about 10 years after I started at the hospital.  

I am just now recovering from the hours on end of sleep deprivation and just plain old fatigue from living that life and putting myself last.  To those who are younger with me and have kids and a life outside of work I say keep those priorities because that's where the good stuff happens.  As I wrap my mind around the future I have time to explore what makes me happy and go for it.  Before you know it I'll have hobbies again!

I ran into Mamye at the chicken store  and she was relieved to see me not trapped by floodwater.  As I drove down through David Lee's driveway I noticed that the river is almost up to the Hideaway.  The foundation crew is hard at work and I drove down and did a walk through of a home that I had never been in.  It's gonna be do die for gorgeous.   Congrats Lesli and fam!  Of course the river is all over the flats behind Mozella and thems' houses.  The crest of the North Fork is today but there's more rain on the way.  There are buds of all kinds in my yard just waiting to burst forth in bloom.  I can't freakin' WAIT!!

Chillax ~

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

no words

Today was lunch with the girls which included various sandwiches and a to die for roasted red pepper and gouda soup.  We caught up with what's going in everybody's life and I had a new pic of Reaves to pass around.  She is finally looking like her mama did at that age!  Afterwards, Mamye and I marveled at the history seated around that table.  

On the way in I stopped at Donna's to get some soap and lip balm plus another pair ot cute cheap readers in 3.5 which are hard to find.  They are purple polka dot, by the way.  We chatted during lunch about a 45th reunion and we shall see if that comes together.  Our classmate Darryl wants us to go on a cruise but that's just kind of....not realistic for most all involved.  I wouldn't DARE get stuck on a ship with a bunch of folks on a mission like reuniting 45 years later.  

My immediate concern is the flood status of local rivers including the Big Muddy, Forked Deer and Obion all of which affect my access to civilization.  I'm planning ahead for the big one where I don't have to get out for a few days.  

Otherwise it's all rainbows and unicorns except for the Florida legislature.  Talk about a passive aggressive move!  I refuse to believe that there is nobody with morals in government.  All it takes is for them to quit taking bribes and represent the ones who voted them in.  

The water is wide...I can cross over ~


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

beatin' the rain

I slept in today since I was up later last night.  I headed up to the gentral' for the basics and found that my favorite ex-waiter at The Bus Stop works there now.  I was in line behind an "extreme couponer" and they were already in motion so I said just carry on.  Chick apologized about a hundred times and I replied I had nothing but time.  The guy behind me, however, was glaring so they got him done.  The store is much cleaner and the manager gave me tips on what days NOT to come which is when all the trucks show up.  I asked the couponer how she does it and she said it's a lot of work.  She ended up owing 14 bucks for a buggy full and I paid 75 for my stuff.  

I drove to the cabin expecting Johnny's crew to be there and was pleased to meet Daniel Garis from Union City who does crawlspace repair and leveling and whatnot.  They're not going to be able to work for the next week because of rain.  I left with a vintage living room window which one of the guys carried to the car for me.  You can't beat that kind of service.  James Frank walked over to gimme a hug and look at the progress.  Our little community rocks.  

Namaste ~

Monday, February 19, 2018

a day full of joy

My friend had an appointment in Memphis today so me and her Mom are hanging together.  So far we have washed dishes, done yard work and talked about social work and the hospital.  We took Pearl for two walks and she pooped in the neighbor's yard but like good pet owners we scooped it up.  Pearl hasn't lived there that long so she was pretty leery of me all day and kept her eyes peeled all day.  Around lunch time several visitors showed up in the form of Kathy George, Laura Lacy, Judy Hatch and Hazel Hatch.  Between the six of us we worked about 400 years for Parkview Hospital as it was formerly known.  Everybody had a story or five and we got caught up on the ones who have moved on or are still there.  Judy made a Sonic run and Kathy brought to.die.for cupcakes from the new little place.  Pearl had to go into hiding because it was just too much for her.

We rested after that to catch the news and shortly after that Gay and Huck the road dog rolled in.  It was a perfect spring day that reached 77 with a nice breeze.  I had a sneezing fit or two but that was probably from the mold in all those leaves we stirred up.  I wouldn't trade the experience for all the tea in China.  I think that, particularly as we age, slowing down enough to enjoy these visits, whether random or planned, is a gift from God so that we get to relive the past.  

My new heroes are these kids in Florida who are vowing not to give up OR give in.  They are grieving, mad and hurt and rightfully so.  Once again, and hear me clearly:  I do not want to take away your guns and neither does anybody else.  We want responsible gun ownership like the guy who turned his into the local sheriff's department rather than selling it on the street or having it stolen to commit a crime.  We all have to be accountable on this issue.  Enough is enough and #neveragain.

Resist.  But always stop and smell the roses ~

Sunday, February 18, 2018

trolls r us

Social media is something relatively new considering I didn't even have a computer until about 15 years ago.  It serves us well as a way to stay in touch with friends and family and in organizing groups, etc.  A responsible person with a FB page shares thoughts and feelings, recipes, baby pictures and whatever the hell they want because it is THEIR page.  Because I am not a staunch gun totin' conservative I get a lot of troll activity on my posts from time to time.  I'm used to it and normally don't engage them.  I would never ever go on someone's page and try to destroy them by insisting that I am right.   That is narcissism at its' finest and is what causes polarization among people and incites anger and violence.

That being said, yes I am a person with a love of peace and compromise.  I do not claim to be right.  As my friend said to the troll "she speaks from her heart" and that makes me a target for these kinds of folks on important issues.  Once again, have at it if you feel so inclined but remember that others are reading what you write and making judgments about you and your own business.  You will always have the last word, that's a given.  And it's a very aggressive type of behavior.  I will agree to disagree with you when you show respect and not call me stupid for my beliefs.  Otherwise, we have nothing to talk about.  I am not upset or mad at anybody.  Just trying to find my way through this life like everybody else.  I watched the parent of a dead student speak at yesterday's rally and his words were "I don't know what to do next."  I have a feeling this latest school shooting will turn the tide on the issue because too many folks on both sides of the aisle are feeling pressure from their voters.  I may be wrong, but one can only hope and pray for a resolution.

Grace ~

Saturday, February 17, 2018


I've been in the house for so long that I've escaped most of the diseases that are terrorizing folks.  I guess my luck ran out because when I got up this morning I was walking into doors and walls to get to the bathroom.  Dizzy headed and nauseated.  Could be vertigo.  Who knows, but I threw up and felt better.  I know, that's too much information!

I was gonna' title this post "Janie's got a gun" but figured I'd have the FBI on me in a heartbeat so just no.  If I did have one?  It would be a double barrel shotgun to blow out the wall of my house in case somebody gets crazy.  I also have a couple of very nice knives compliments of Watson.  What I simply DO NOT get is the trolling and arguing and bickering surrounding the sale of repeating weapons.  I have been called, in no particular order, things like stupid, demolibtard, bleeding heart liberal, and on and on.  Guns don't kill people.  People with guns kill people.  How did they get those guns...and that many of them?  These people fly under the radar thanks to the NRA aka contributor of millions to political campaigns.  How did our country get to the point where we are that divided over an issue?  I am not anti-gun.  If you do your history on the NRA you will find that it was established as a reputable organization for hunters.  Somewhere between there and here they became the runner of guns to crazy people.  The seller of the Parkland gun was "mortified" that the weapon that was legally bought in his establishment was used for the massacre.  His mental health check was asking dude if he had a history of mental illness. Umm. Right.  

Most of these shooters put a lot of thought into their plans or they wouldn't be able to pull them off.  That guy in Vegas is a prime example of this.  Yes, it could have been worse and would have been if he hadn't offed himself like a coward.  Many active shooters do this when backed into a corner but only after they've mowed down innocents.  I thought it was kind of funny that the PD assigned to the Florida shooter said that he "expressed remorse" for what he had done which pretty much rules out an insanity plea.  He will spend the rest of his life in jail on our dime.  These are cases where I do believe the death penalty should be applied swiftly.  The evidence is there...use it and don't make us wait while you drag this idiot through the court system and we pay for it.

I try not to go off on tangents but this shit has got to stop, whatever it takes and I don't have answers.  They are out there though, and as a village we can figure it out if everybody plays nice.  What is particularly troublesome to me is that the white supremacy bunch claimed credit for this kind of like ISIS does when somebody sets off a car bomb.  These two groups are comparable in scope because of their focus on ethnic cleansing and violence.

I am a middle of the road kind of person and have changed my opinion on a lot of issues over the years: i.e. death penalty for mass shooters caught in the act.  And other murderers and rapists and such who are convicted on DNA.  I will remain pro choice 'til the day I die.  

So save your snarky comments and memes for somebody else on this issue.  Too many Americans are horrified with what is happening not just with this issue but all the other ones being tossed around like the wall and the Russians and the food stamp cutting.  This is not a rant because I don't have the energy for that.  It's just my thoughts and  a rainy dreary day is a good time to express them.

Keep the faith ~

Friday, February 16, 2018

not my job

If I were a teacher or parent of a school age child right now I'd be terrified to go there.  I've known many educators over the years who have gone above and beyond to ensure that their students got the best education.  They do it because they love to see the light go on in a kid's eyes and it pays the bills and sometimes?  It's just cool to teach.

Protecting students from mass shootings is something relatively new to our society that started somewhere around Paducah and spread like wildfire.  Because of the ready availability of repeating firearms sold for "sport" it has turned into an epidemic of blood and gore.  These teachers didn't sign up for the reality of shielding six year olds with their bodies and hiding under tables with the dead ones.  The carnage that has been put in their workplace is a phenomenon that gun rights activists are busy arguing about calling kids stupid because they eat tide pods.  You can't fix stupid which is even more reason for stupid to not have access to an AR15 "style" weapon.  

I love way too many teachers to name anybody but you know who you are.  Keep the faith ^j^

holistic education

Since I've decided to pass on additional surgery right now Lorna has been compiling a list of natural remedies to help deal with the pain.  Top of the list is curcumin followed by tiger balm, comfrey cream and arnica tablets and cream.  We hit up two stores, one of which was Sunflower Health where I met the lovely and knowledgeable Donna.  I also scored some cute flowery reading glasses.  

After that we met another friend at our favorite brisket place and got the VIP treatment from chef Eric.  Both of them have recently lost loved ones and it was a bittersweet first meeting in person for them.  We took our time and chatted about every little thing.  

I noticed on the way home that the Forked Deer is up again with a week's worth of rain in the forecast.  Hmm.  We shall see how high the water gets like, hopefully, not over the road again.  What a pain.  There are little duck families everywhere floating the backwater.  

Ya'll keep it between the ditches.  It's a crazy world out there.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

and again.....

My eyes popped open at daybreak so I rolled out to get on with the business of the day which included a ton of paperwork and a visit to obtain the title for the 95 Cadi.  Baby steps people.  Baby steps.  As I was waiting in the doctor's office for forms, I overhead my friend in the lab talking about the coach who died shielding his students from the Florida shooter.  The readers of this blog know how I feel about all this so I'm not going to repeat the rant.  One of the mothers interviewed shared that her daughter begged to be home schooled because she was scared to go to a public school.  And you know what?  She has a very valid point.

Rick Scott paid lip service to " dealing with mental illness " and involving more law enforcement.  While these are both a piece of the puzzle, the big problem is the availability of repeating firearms.  Oh, and speaking of mental health I also read that Trump trashed an Obama era move to tighten mental health checks on gun purchasers.  I also read a chilling piece on the autopsy reports of the Vegas victims and how they died.  According to forensics, the shooter was so far away that these folks didn't even know what was going on because of the sound lag.  The lucky ones died instantly.  Others lay there and died slowly over a period of minutes with their lungs filling up with fluid and blood seeping out.  Painful.  Excruciating way to die.  

I drove past the cabin on my way home and got some shots of today's progress which involves boarded up windows and a torn out chimney and fireplace.  I remember that fireplace igniting UNDER the floor when we were about to leave for a Led Zeppelin concert in Memphis.  My mother drove us!!

It's tornado time in West Tennessee and today is a perfect example of prime conditions for twisters.  We've gone from 20 degrees to 70 in the span of a few days.  I haven't used the air in my car in so long that I was stunned to smell the "car thief" when I cranked it up this morning.  The car still smells like his nasty self.  

The Lenten journey has begun ^j^

Wednesday, February 14, 2018


Well the day of romance has finally arrived along with Ash Wednesday.  That must be some kind of ethereal crossing of the calendar.  My parents were married on V Day of 1954 and remained together until death did they part.  You don't see much of that anymore.

I've had so many appointments and opinions lately that I needed a one on one with my NP this morning.  She explained in much more detail what my treatment options are.  After our huddle I walked away believing that the least invasive option is the best for me at this point.  I have excellent mobility for ADLs with moderate pain.  I'm not willing to give that mobility up just yet.  Thank you LAB for hearing me.  She also explained that this is peak arthritis season so it may get better with warmer weather.  And continued MFR.

Big fat hearts to you and your mama'n'them!

Tuesday, February 13, 2018


The thing I love most about MFR is that the patient being treated learns to submit to the hands of the therapist.  When I had my first treatment years ago I could barely be still for an hour much less receive the healing.  That was when Bitch#1 on the right flared up following a fall on the ice.  Many months later that was repaired surgically and my rehab consisted guessed it.  MFR.  I had the mother of all sessions today and the relief was genuine and on spot.  It's a process.

I haven't been to the cabin to see how many more windows are out but I suspect a lot with this good weather.  It's about to rain for a week so they've got some wiggle room before then.  This cabin will be a thing of beauty when it's finished.  I showed my buddy at the UPS store a pic of the newly exposed back porch while we tried forEVER to get my fax to go to wherever.  There were 16 pages and this is my second go around with the papers. I've had a phone interview.  Time for an answer so I know what kind of income I'll be living on.  There is insurance to buy and budgets to plan.  

My boss said they want to have me a retirement party since I didn't know ( at all ) that I wouldn't be back after December 6th. Lots of folks have helped with the ins and outs of what I'm sorting through and I appreciate the input.  Lord knows it takes a village.

Looking forward to snuggling with those babygirls again ^j^

Monday, February 12, 2018


I haven't been down to the cabin in a week or so and Bubba told me the added on from a carport den had been torn down so I went for a look see.  What I found was a stunning view of the original back porch on the house where I grew up.  The little concrete step that remains is the same one that me and my cousins KA and Donna sat on one sunny day with puppies.  Yes, I have a picture.  It's amazing watching that old house come to life again.  Next will be the jacking up process as i call it.  I'm sure there's a technical term for it!  I'm keeping all the old windows for future projects.  

It's still cold but I won't bitch because at least I'm not out trying to find kerosene.  I noticed that the chicken store still has an out of order pump.  That's as far as I went then headed back to the warmth of Casa Poops.  

I have an appointment with the NP Wednesday to discuss things like how to move forward..or not.  In a perfect world I could get daily MFR treatments but that ain't happening though I do self treat.  Going on faith here waiting for the universe to tell me the next step.  

Toss me those beads dude ~

Sunday, February 11, 2018

live it up...lent is coming

Well, today was straight out of Wuthering Heights as Mamye and me went on a hunt and gather mission.  I bought big at Kroger and we headed toward Wallyhell to get some more of her favorite mousetraps.  No luck there.  Next we headed to the chicken store for kerosene where the pump was "out of order" so we headed to the lane to unload.  She finally found some kerosene at Tractor Supply and should be home with it by now.  It takes a village.

Valentine's day is coming up so I saw a lot of folks buying early while I was rambling.  Good price on roses.  I can't remember the last time I got just one.  The VD that I was divorced the first time, Noler left me a card on the front door with a funny cat Hallmark theme.  Lord knows we went through a shit ton of them.

I miss my girls.  They're coming Friday for a sleepover which is much better than drop and run.  That way we can extend the snuggle.  I've got primo pork chops for dinner and a lunch date with friends.  And on a mission to find a third opinion.


Saturday, February 10, 2018

on becoming my mother

I officially realized today that I am my mother's child trying to do all things and I'm not capable.  Sure, I can keep the traditions alive and pass on the memorabilia but it's been two years and I'm tired.  She doesn't speak to me very often but Daddy is there everyday in the song of a bird or a sunrise or a new flower.  Currently I have one crocus and some pitiful buttercups.  On the south bank, of course.

This is not my house.  I've been a renter for 30 years, most of which was under my Daddy's direction.  The last five years of that is too complicated to explain but if you know know the story.  It was like being on call 24/7 shared among three caregivers who had day jobs.  The whole thing unraveled when Daddy had a wreck on the bypass with his newly purchased Toyota truck.  That was when the license and keys went away and we started being the delivery service.  

I felt my age, and my mother's frustration, as I toddled into yet another doctor's office yesterday.  My girls showed up about six for a short visit bearing mexican food and that little dumpling of a babygirl.  She needed a bath so we did that in the kitchen sink after a dinner of fruit which she gobbled up.  We ate in shifts, me first....and then settled in for our favorite thing which is baby snuggle.  While Lauren was doing her taxes me and Baby Reaves crawled under the covers for our thing.  She was tired enough to pass out after a bottle so it was quiet and sacred.  Lauren came and joined us for the other half of the baby sammich.   It didn't last long but it was glorious.  Everything I had  as far as baby gear is gone to their house so I'm gonna' have to shop for another seat so she can sit up like a big girl when she's here.  

I don't really understand how Trump can block the release of a rebuttal memo to the big hoorah investigation but I guess his executive powers allow him to.  He's going to do anything he can to ignore the dems so there you go.  My mother used to LIVE for the Olympics and she's enjoying the winter games in a heavenly place.  Me, not so much.  Especially after hearing about all the abuse that gymnasts and others endured.

It's gloomy and dreary.  Good day to hibernate ^j^

Friday, February 9, 2018

second opinion

I was referred by the doctor who did my unsuccessful rotator cuff surgery to his partner in Jackson who is the shoulder guru.  I expected to hear him say "let's go" with the reverse replacement but uh. Nope.  According to him because of the implant I would lose more of what mobility I have.  There was an option B which is something called a superior capsular reconstruction that has had no papers published on it and a 50/50 chance of success.  It involves implant of cadaver tissue to close the gap where the rotator cuff ends don't meet.  And also he's never done it.  Hmm.  He said it's like a "procedure looking for a patient" and that my case is unusual because my mobility is pretty fair, just painful.  The recovery is 6-9 months in which my tissue grows around the cadaver bridge, etc.  So if the pain gets bad enough that I can't stand it, I can lose some mobility and go for replacement for pain relief. In his own words, "your rotator cuff is a mess."  Ayep.  

It's been two months since I got up before the sun and it was pretty strange.  Regina has a very nice car and she went shopping while I was being seen.  She had her route all mapped out until we were met by a barrier around construction on the surgery center next door so I hoofed it over the plywood to where I was going.  So, I'm kind of right back where I started.  Neither of the surgical options sound good.  

That's all I got for now.  The girls are coming for a short visit this afternoon so there's that to look forward to.  Baby Reaves is getting to be such a BIG girl.  

Later ~

Thursday, February 8, 2018

from the back burner

My mother's cookbook is open on the kitchen table from where I made Helen Hines' chicken and dumplings.  Right next to it is another winner by Willa Thompson for crock pot chicken and dressing.  All I lacked was butter so there I went to you know where.  Plus I had low tires and the perfect gentleman newbie at Patterson Brothers helped me out.  I love that bunch to pieces.  They have towed, boosted and otherwise kept the Camry going all these years.  

So now for the military parade deal. If I thought for ONE second that this is about honoring our military I'd be all for it.  It's nothing but a blowhard wanting to look like other world leaders where the uniforms march precisely on order from their leader.  That is not what patriotism is about.  One thread I was read asked plainly why, if our POTUS wants so badly to honor the military does he not spend those millions on DAV or helping our families of current service members.  Because he's a self centered idiot, that's why.  Come on trolls.  Mama's feeling feisty.

Making a king cake looks way out of my realm so I'm gonna' shop for one online tomorrow which is when the eagle poops.  At this point my future is very uncertain but I have faith that things will work out as they are meant to be.  I'm just hoping that little black cloud stays away for awhile, right Sue!!

Leave room for the spirit to work ~


Wednesday, February 7, 2018

the circle of life

A librarian with knowledge of EK Ross and her work recommended that book to me once upon a time.  This same man used to own the nursery right across the by-pass that was like my wonderland.  An accomplished artist as well, he has touched a lot of people with his work.  I can only hope that my life's work has been that to others.  

My brief outing this morning was to deliver a special gift to a special person that came back around in an ethereal way.  I love it when that happens.  Gives me faith, ya know?

Another miracle happened, by the way.  My friend and therapist Gay has been very concerned about her mother's well being for some time now.  One swift legal move got it done and she's got her Joy back.  Praise be!

I've been on the phone this morning and moving papers around on the kitchen table, not real sure who needs what.  I think the bases are covered for the next month.  After that, i'm going on faith.  

Ya'll hug yourselves for me.  And send me a virtual one!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

if it ain't one thing

Well it's five others.  I visited the dentist this morning because of a painful tooth which turned out to be the least of my problems.  I have a filling AND extraction that must be done prior to the shoulder surgery if that happens.  This will all be discussed with the surgeon on Friday.  Gigi is biting the bullet and getting me to Jackson for the 8AM appointment because I don't function too well for the first few hours of the day.  She's a true blue buddy with a heart of gold.  

I really couldn't figure out the trigger for my latest crying jags until I was reminded that KY cousin died five years ago around this time.  She was a year younger than me and it was sudden due to chronic health issues.  After she moved away we didn't see each other often but talked by phone often.  She lived close to the famed Patti's restaurant at Grand Rivers that burned yesterday.  My tour with her included a highway on a bridge that runs paralell to a train track on a bridge and getting to gaze at the spot where all three rivers connect in Paducah.  There were also tons of yachts in marinas here and there.

There is a pile of papers a mile high on my kitchen table to be gone through and dealt with concerning SS, IRS ad infinitum.  I seriously need an accountant for this crap because my ADD won't let me focus on just ONE thing.  

One of the first kisses I got was from a good old country boy while we were both on a horse.  He died today after a long battle with cancer.  Dude fought a long and tough game, just saying.  

Carry on with Terrific Tuesday.

Monday, February 5, 2018

early to rise

We were up and down all night with Baby Reaves and I got to see the highlights of the Superbowl rehashed this morning while I waited for Auntie Erica. I woke up and rambled right about the time the Eagles won and all hell broke out in Philly.  Plus, as added value, I got to see all the commercials replayed this morning.  My favorite remains the Budweiser water one.  

It was so warm yesterday that I didn't wear a coat and got a little surprise this AM when I stepped outside.  Lauren said there were snow flurries during the game.  Reaves was her happy smiling morning self as we hauled baby and walker up the steps to Erica's.  She really loves that thing and just needs a little back support to be full on in business taking the world in.  Her tippy toes reach the floor, barely.  Baylee wanted to push her around in it like a shopping cart or something!  We did each others' hair and played "i'm the aunt and you're the uncle" among other things.  Baby Reaves was quite amused with us.  

So, as a result of baby holding and whatnot my shoulder is hurting pretty bad and that sucks.  I want to be able to play and lift her up to the sky like a real grammaw.  The way I understand things since my rotator cuff is dead the deltoid muscle is doing all the work which is, as Old Hoss would say, "not good."  That ain't the way it's supposed to work anatomically speaking.  

I left the dogs outside and they were waiting to greet me when I got home.  Lily is behind my back in her favorite spot purring.  Good therapy for both of us.  

Happy Monday kids ~

Sunday, February 4, 2018

live from casa reaves

Hers is a sick babygirl but being a trooper through the stomach bug.  I showed up around noon and we did this and that trying to stay on top of the temp and gastric problems.  Presently she's in the vibrating seat playing and farting.  The village has  made their appearance one by one and stood at the door going oooh and ahh...but *don't touch the baby*

I know all the neighbors because I'm a frequent flyer here.  We sit outside and smoke and talk about life.  Everybody has a story dontcha' know.  They just need to be shared.

The baby is fussing and won't make it til Superbowl halftime nor will I.  Go Eagles and Justin.  Not my thing, obviously.  

Catch ya'll on the other side ^j^

Saturday, February 3, 2018

chapter two

Well, it appears that i'm headed for a reverse shoulder replacement in spite of my foot dragging.  The pain is not resolving at all and I'm on a pretty strict schedule with insurance coverage so there ya' go.  It's now or never....or until Medicare kicks in which is two and a half years.  The paperwork for all this is mind boggling.  If I am unable to go back to work I am eligible for COBRA which is quite pricey.  Decisions, decisions.  I have talked to a couple of folks who've had it and they say it was very effective.  We shall see.

I had planned on seeing the girls today but I'ma gonna' wait until tomorrow to travel.  Sundays are normally "lightly traveled" on 412.  The funniest video I've ever seen was posted by my cousin's wife.  It seems that she was speeding a bit on the way to a ball game and Mr. Trooper caught her.  Three year old Neely FREAKED OUT because she thought they were going to jail.  She got a ticket anyway!  These folks don't play and that stuff won't work anymore, if  you know what I mean.  Gotta' feed the state coffers :)

I'm playing pretend today like Trump is not the president and it's all rainbows and unicorns.  What else can you do when it is what it is?  I honestly believe that Russia was involved in our presidential election.  To what extent, I can't say.  That's Mueller's job which is why they're threatening to fire him every other day.  

So y'all keep the faith and whatnot.  Ash Wednesday happens to fall on Valentine's Day this year which is my parents' anniversary 64th anniversary.  I can remember this because I will be 63.  OMG.


Friday, February 2, 2018

as fate would have it

Well those babygirls aren't gonna' make it today so I'm headed over that way this weekend.  Auntie Erica posted a video today that showed me just how much I've missed with Reaves' activity.  Plus I need me a big fat Lauren hug.

I don't know about Phil, but my groundhog is looking at his shadow  Let's hope he's wrong.  I've burned sage every day this week in an attempt to find clarity.  Everything is still all up in the air but I feel better about life today which is the first step of getting out of the pit of despair.  

I spent an hour on the phone this morning with a claims manager concerning my LTD.  Lord, what a process.  It doesn't help that google autosave has screwed my login to their website and I'm working by phone and snail mail.  I need an IT housecall!!

So it looks like no beach for me this year what with all this stuff going on.  I will never forget seeing the ocean for the first time on a church camping trip to Destin chaperoned by Bill Acred and Bill Revell.  I got burned so badly the first day I spent the rest of the week on an air mattress in the shade being miserable.  Big old water blisters, remember Charlie Price?

My old friend Karla came by with a gift for Reaves so that's ready for transport down 412.  The neighbors were here when she came by so we said our "i love yous" out in the cold wind with big hugs on the right side, of course.  

I'm chilling.  Hope you are the same ^j^

Thursday, February 1, 2018

hard day's night

Today was get your ass up and going day so I headed to the doc, work and Gay in that order.  For some reason ( could be because of lack of celexa for 3 days ) I'm a hot mess crying and releasing all forms of grief and whatnot.  Work is giving me a long leash because they know I'm in pain.  It's utterly amazing to me that those tears could have been there that long and only started hurting six months ago.

So who watched the SOTU?  What was your takeaway on all that.  I'm curious because well, you know me.  I don't "do" Trump.  Lauren sent me the funniest meme about picking FB fights with you friend's great aunt over politics.  I miss her and Reaves.  Maybe tomorrow.

The moon was magnificent again and I burned sage during the magic.  That one's for you Pam.  I got lots of hugs from a couple of work peeps who love me and a W2 today.  Some of them said they had wondered where I was.  That's pretty special.

Faith ~