Wednesday, May 31, 2017

permaculture and a wood fire

I just finished watering the bales and lighting a fire up front which will promptly go out due to all the green and dampness.  Thats least I won't be on the front page of the State Gazette as poster girl for not watching the burn bans more closely.  There are acres of wheat out here that could be torched in a heartbeat by someone careless.  I remember one time that bean field in front of Donna's house caught fire from a downed power line and it took multiple agencies working together to get it out.  Lots of folks out there watching.  

The day I burned off the asparagus and it got away into the bean stubble I thought I was a goner because my Daddy would kill me.  Me and Debbie Cox put it out best we could with rakes and brooms and it stopped when the flames hit asphalt.  Daddy just laughed as he drove by in his Toyota truck. Silly girl!  What have you done.  

Ryan's guys did the yard yesterday evening and one dude stood knee high in poison ivy weed eating.  The other one drove like a madman making squares in the grass.  The beautiful thing about straw gardening is that every bit that you lay down and nurture will return as compost for the next season.  I've gotten two seasons out of two carelessly placed bales with a few Bonnie plants.  It beats pushing a tiller like Daddy did.  

Speaking of which, I'm really missing my parents.  It has been two years since all of the dying started and only now can I look back and see the true progression of things as they were.  If there were one wisdom I could pass to those who are seeking, it would be spend less time giving to your work and more time with family.  I was the kind who never called in with a sick kid or when I was sick myself.  For forty years I've done that and it just doesn't feel right anymore.  My first grandchild is a bun in the oven and that's what it's all about at the moment.  I'm thinking a six month plan and working it like a trojan.  

Here's the thing.  The more you give the more people expect.  Period.  They don't mean to use you but they do because they don't know any other way to be and you won't stop trying to be more.  Trust is something that comes from the gut when your inner voice is working clearly.  I believe I've found something new in that area which goes nicely with casting a line toward something better.  

I know.  I'm rambling because I can.  Bubba and I are researching details on the ash burial this past weekend because it was a one day hit and miss thing with no time to get the history straight.   More later after a chat with Kansas City.

Clarity ~

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

the devil in the details

Four days away from the sawmill gave me just enough vision to see what it would be like without having to face the drama every day.  It is presently 85 degrees and holding so I suppose it's time for irrigation system launch the redneck water hose.  That requires going out in the heat again which I'm not fond of.  What a dilemma.

Season 3 gave me the incentive to go back and start over with Bloodline.  There are SO many layers with all the flashbacks and such.  As soon as I get paid me and the boys are going to see Dr. Pierce and get some itch relief.  Oscar hasn't had a cut since he's been here and both of them scratch the shit out of my arms in joy to see me.  Also, if Oscar is settled in next to me and I move quickly, he's been known to bite a foot.  It will take a mega doggie valium to get him clean.  Pierce bought Daddy's herd when they went out of the cattle business and I see him often at the chicken store early morning after he and Ava have visited the farm on Sorrell's Chapel.

I long for a simple life where I can make ends meet without stressing over every little thing.  Right now my home is the only solace I have and it's got a todiefor view.  Just saying.  I hit a squirrel on the way home today and apologized to his dead body in the rearview.  In my Pollyanna mind, he got up and scampered off to the tree.  



Monday, May 29, 2017

free day

On this the day that we celebrate the lives of those who died for our country inservice, I say thank you to all who have served to protect our freedoms.  A lot of them are threatened and not just by enemies abroad.  Freedom of speech is pretty risky these days and downright dangerous in a peaceful protest situation as we have seen with Occupy and Standing Rock.  Our foretathers weep over that one even if they did run an entire nation out of their homes and industrialize it.  

Writing the name Trump is not worth typing five letters anymore so I vow never to do it again unless I forget and am on a rant.  The more attention he gets, the looser his cannon is.  I have a feeling that a lot of heads are gonna' roll, not just his.  

As a lifelong healthcare provider I have reach out to the governor and both senators of Tennessee regarding healthcare. 
They acknowledge that they "hear" me but continue to try and kill medicaid while protecting big pharm and insurance.  If it were not for TennCare, my grandchild would not be getting the top notch pre-natal care she's receiving.  Those who are at a point in life where insurance premiums are out of reach such as minimum wage workers are often not offered healthcare as a benefit.  Such is the case with her.  I do not believe in entitlements for those who work the system.  That's why we're in the shape we're in.  The oversight is pitiful for Medicare fraud and abuse which the biggest reason that the price tag is so high in the industry.

I took a break and talked to Lorna for an hour about hopes and dreams and gratitude.  It was uplifting and positive which is what I crave these days.  The effects of the nitrous are showing now with a lot of skin sluffing which is okay by me.  Kill the squamous.  

Time to hook up the redneck waterhose ~

Sunday, May 28, 2017


Quite by accident I had some visitors today who were scattering ashes behind the dairy barn.  Bubba and Hub had told me what the plan was and I got a call to come and be a witness.We met and talked they walked up through the poison ivy with me to do the deed.  The ashes were from 2006 and 2017 respectively, mother and son.  They are together on that knoll now, Miller and Anne.  Tears were flowing and I said a little prayer in spite of myself.  In the name of father, the son and the holy spirit,  Amen.

I've been watching too much Bloodline and it's getting really heavy so I needed a break and ran to the chicken store.  The laundry is started and Patrick brought supper.  All is well.  Last night was wave after wave of thunderstorms according to weather underground and their alerts.  I heard them but didn't seek shelter.  I figure if it's dangerous my brother will call me.  He's a weatherman and all.

Ashley and I talked out front while she was taking a break about that feeling of being trapped in a job.  That place is a madhouse full of idiot customers 24/7.  It's the only store between Four Points and Dyersburg since the Plaza and Dairy Queen washed away.  Well, there's Bag a Burger but you have to wait.  

This is a food desert.  Outside of Dollar Generals and fast food there is nothing.  It's like a major ordeal to navigate Lake Road over to Kroger which is why I rarely go.  If someone had the money to invest in a grocery store near the airport they would be giving everybody a break and could make a million. 

I'm just rambling and dreaming.  That's what time off is for. 

aches and pains

Day 2 after a fall is usually the one where all the soreness kicks in which is happening right now.  I remember Dr. Algee telling me that the biggest cause of injury and illness in elders is falling.  I slept for 14 hours through multiple thunderstorms and got up slowly then headed to the gentral for basics.  Got tons of laundry to do!

My non-worry stone sits on the desk reminding me daily that through all things God strenghthens me.  I drove down to the cabin to see if the other glads have bloomed but not yet.  James Frank and I caught up on their family's plans in the driveway.  Our mayor probably won't go home from the rehab.  There is nobody to care for her during the day, which is the usual story.  I told him I felt his frustration like so many others.  At 96 she needs constant watching.  

This is yet another piece of the crumbling healthcare infrastructure.  Long term care is terribly expensive and unless you are penniless or rich, it's a struggle to afford.  Mamye and I sat yesterday and made a list of all the folks who have done their jobs well while Steve has been hospitalized.  We rarely hear the good things....only complaints.  I've been pretty critical of the management at the chicken store so I stopped by with a happy card for my favorite girls there.  Everybody needs an attaboy now and then.

Me and the dogs are chilling while the cat creates mayhem.....the usual suspect.  She loves to knock stuff off as an attention getter.  Right now she's behind my back on the chair purring her little heart out.  Fed and happy.  

Still humble here ^j^

Saturday, May 27, 2017


I have no memory of what happened until I woke up on the floor staring at the ceiling.  I laid there for a few minutes and then got up and got my bearings to go to bed.  My BP was a little elevated at the doc's office yesterday so I went and had it checked this morning and it was even higher.  I haven't been taking the benzapril as prescribed so there you go.  I try to remember to take it at night because I can barely go if I take it with my other morning meds.  I woke up feeling "dauncy" as the little general says, and with a bruised butt.  

I went by the hospital to see Steve and Mamye and he's much better.  There was a big thunderstorm early this morning and I managed to go back to sleep when it passed.  Did a little shopping and headed home, still not feeling quite right.  And I took that pill by golly.  

Season 3 of Bloodline is full of twists and turns already.  I won't be the spoiler alert on that just watch for yourselves.  My friend Lorna was living in Islamorada when filming began there several years ago and worked at a cafe where part of the footage took place.  It was a huge boost for the local economy while it lasted. 

Be safe, healthy and forever grateful~

Friday, May 26, 2017

adventures with dermatology

My derm friend hit a lot of spots today with nitrous and some kind of shot for the wart that will not die.  I paid cash for the co-pay thanks to a generous benefactor.  Kent and I go all the way back to his move here from San Diego.  I met his lovely wife Laura that day and also Melissa.  She and Lauren became fast friends.  He and I worked together in a number of settings and he has always been fun.  Kim is on much needed vacay but I have return appointments so I'll catch up with her then.

I last talked to Mamye yesterday afternoon.  I called her up to chat only to find that she and Hippie are at the hospital where he was admitted last night.  That is NOT a privacy violation because she told me as a friend.  We're playing "i'm dealing with all this" tag so there will be more updates.  You can tell there are storms brewing because the wind is from the south and hot.  I stopped by Hub's body shop today to touch base with him on the burial this weekend.  I'm trying to work with that and an invitation to a picnic meet and greet with a certain group in Jackson.  

The beautiful thing about giving up control is that peace comes.  I believe that if one searches his or her soul and determines what is right and true, the rest will work itself out.  Call me Pollyanna but that's my mother in me I reckon.  She was a control freak from the get go but we all enjoyed her entertaining!!!! I visited the mayor this morning prior to therapy and stopped by the cabin to pick a single yellow glad that is daddy's legacy.  It's sad there now and I don't go much.

I will refrain from being political today and just ask everybody to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  The Trump train is about to derail and there will be chaos. When the Pope gives you the evil eye, your number is up.

I believe I can fly~

Thursday, May 25, 2017

mini vacay

I have four days off.  Do you know how freakin' good that feels right now?  Um..yeah.  It couldn't have come at a better time just saying.  I received another financial blessing today that brought me to tears because it was a kind of letting go of a friend in some ways.  He had the courage to do the next right thing for he and his family and I admire that.  Boundaries are what's up.

Other than that, I've got nothing.  I relish the thought of four days with no agenda other than a doctor appointment and playing, even if it's inside.  Looks like rain, you know.  As for today it's kind of like the perfect one....low 70's and nice breeze with clear skies.  That's for you Jim.

Will holla'

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

back to step one

My heart sank when I checked my balance yesterday and found myself in the hole with ten days to go until the eagle poops.  I have no savings or even any cushion....just living check to check as a single gal.  I was cutting it close what with the impound fee and new tires so when I got paid on Friday I immediately paid what HAD to be paid or get cut off.  Posting is wonky on the weekends so I didn't realize until yesterday I had gone into overdraft again.  35 bucks a pop times 2.  I immediately realized I'd have to put off my appointment with the derm folks for this squamous cell thing because I didn't have the money.  I made the call and cancelled then shut the laptop and wandered outside to walk the yard.

*kaching* went the phone.  It was a message from a lifelong friend offering help.  And then others came through for me today.  I am humble beyond words.  

Got a call from the police this morning that I was being served with a summons to appear in court for the State vs car thief.  What's so ironic is that his court date is at 9AM on the same day I report for jury duty at 1PM.  I feel the universe moving on that deal.  

And so it goes.  I feel like my tribe has me enfolded in their arms and that all will be well as long as I continue to do the next right thing.  

Faith ~

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

chicken killers

My neighbor Bev called today wanting to know if I had seen strange dogs around to which I replied no.  A pair of dogs killed two of her chickens and she even saw one headed down the road with the poor bird in his mouth.  This is the very reason that Larry went to a "new " home because he was trying to get to her birds.  It's like a zoo down there with chickens and ducks and even a huge rabbit on the back porch in a crate.  Country girl to the core.  

Two days on my feet have pretty much negated that restful weekend but it was good while it lasted.  Hopefully I'll catch up over the Memorial day break which happened upon me quite serendipitously thanks to Sue and Kim.  I'll pay the piper later but it's worth it.  It's been a year since my last vacay to the beach and things don't look too good for time off in the near future.  

I'm sickened over the most recent suicide bombing in England that targeted kids.  This is the kind of thing that makes me vow never to fly commercial OR attend an event at a huge venue.  The idiots are everywhere just plotting damage for the glory of Allah.  Heh.  And people thought us old hippies were radical.  

While waiting for Bloodline and OITNB I've started over with Weeds and just loving seeing young Strange Botwin again.  Little boxes on the hillside little boxes made of ticky tacky!  I've pretty much checked in with everybody important so it's time to play with the redneck water hose.  

Love ya.  Mean it.  

Monday, May 22, 2017

okay i lied

I'm addicted to this writing thing and can't go a day without spewing my thoughts out into cyberspace.  Today has been a blessed one with lots of random conversations with people who love me.  Me and BG actually hooked her up with an Uber ride home from work.  Small world.

I've got the redneck waterhose going out back hanging on the company logo chair I got two years ago.  I move it around over the little straw bale patch.  Sometimes God works in mysterious ways when you show up and do your part.  So far mr snake has been hiding in the wheat.  It's about cuttin' time so I figure they'll all be up around here and I'll have to put the dogs and calico on them.

Always forward~

Sunday, May 21, 2017

save the turtles

After sleeping in again I went grocery shopping finally because well, you can only eat so much fast food.  Another gentral run to get the hummingbird feeders I forgot and then one last run to the chicken store.  As I was pulling out from Samaria Bend by Tiffany's corner, I spotted a huge turtle smack in the middle of  51 North.  As I sat there watching traffic pass it was pretty cool to see how every single vehicle went AROUND him instead of just making him road kill.  By the time I came back 10 minutes later, he was gone.  It just took him minute to get across the road into the ditch.  

The weather is gorgeous...perfect for outside play which is where I'm headed.  Ya'll hold it between the lines and keep the faith ^j^

Saturday, May 20, 2017

out and about

I slept until 930. It was heavenly for sure.  I feel sorry for people who aren't wired to rest for a long time because that's the only thing that keeps me going.  I started with Lowe's where I scored two five dollar ferns because they "have too many."  Hell yes.  I was also on the hunt for LED light bulbs and compost.  I found both and even advised a man to buy the humus rather than topsoil for his planting.  Yep...I'm on fire for gardening!

Next was the pharmacy where I ran into my Bubba and we chatted in the parking lot. " Don't leave your keys in the car" he said.  Smartass!  From there it was downtown to pay off my tires and visit the crack dealer Pennington's where we were all entertained by a man who does amazing card tricks.  My buddy Stanley is sort of my personal shopper there. I ran into the same couple I had seen at Lowe's so I reckon everybody's on a mission.  

As I was headed over the bridges toward the south I passed a figure shrouded in white carrying a "repent" sign.  That's not something you see everyday but then again.....I just drove on past her toward the 'gentral where I found a cute cheap dress and shoes and stood in line for about 15 minutes while the poor manager/cashier multitasked her little heart out while: talking on the phone about deposits, blowing up helium balloons for a baby shower and generally doing a good job at all of it.  There is a new store in RoEllen and her manager is going there plus two of her recent hires. It's not fair but it's the way things go.  

There is a golf tournament going on behind me to benefit Youth Villages which is an annual fundraiser for them.  It's busier than usual over that way obviously.  Local businesses sponsor teams which is a nice way to do things.  Our city course is very very nice considering the size of our town.  

Seize the day ~

Friday, May 19, 2017

the week that would not end

Today was chaos from start to finish just like the entire rest of the week.  If i didn't have a calendar in front of me I couldn't even tell you what day it is.  Oh's Friday.  Thank goodness.  And I'm off the weekend.  Do I hear an amen?

I brought work home with me because it's too chaotic up in there to concentrate on anything other than keeping the boat floating.  As you may have noticed, I had my first encounter with mr snake yesterday afternoon and he was huge all curled up around the straw bale in the cool dampness.  He got sprayed with the water hose and slithered off somewhere else to hide and scare the bejesus out of me another day.  I don't care if they are good ones, I hate them in my space.  

The car thief was due in court again today so I'll have to go check and see it he got sprung or got additional charges.  My guess would be the latter.  Tomorrow will be errand day because I haven't had time for squat lately.  Gotta' pay the piper and all that.  

I hear thunder and I do believe a nice thunderstorm would be a proper finish to this day as long as the power doesn't go out.  Then it's plan B.  

Adios ~

Thursday, May 18, 2017

today's news

Okay, I am totally floored that Trump is considering Uncle Joe for FBI director unless there is something about his becoming an indpendent that I'm missing.  At a time when this country should be moving forward and seeking change for the masses the media and the GOP are still rehashing old news like Benghazi and Hillary's emails.  Both were mistakes and cannot be undone.  Let it go.  

I've never been a big grunge fan but was shocked to hear about the suicide of Chris Cornell following a show in Detroit.  Who knows what the demons were, but evidently it was bad enough to be done with a life that included a stunning career in music and a family.  More shades of 13 Reasons I reckon.  

Tomorrow is payday and hopefully there will be enough to pay off the tires, internet, garbage pickup and more plus buy a little food.  My dinners lately have consisted of cheese sammiches and fast food reheated.  I have one tiny little head of brocolli on the one plant that survived the early planting.  I'm ready for round two in ernest after Patrick's tilling.  More compost and straw are on Saturday's to do list.  

The orange day lilies are heavy with buds that should show up pretty soon and then the spring flowers will be gone.  That's always a bummer.  Even the hostas are sending out the shoots that will bear flowers.  We're about a month ahead of usual on everything.  

Watch out for snakes ~

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

drama mamas

I am such a live and let live person that those who bitch and piss and moan literally wear me down.  They're work and on occasion I'm one of them.  Normally I stay clear of the conflict but as it swirls around you it's hard to ignore.  Friends and family also have things that are distressing and I have to set limits when discussing their issues so as not to get sucked in.  It's a learned behavior and therapy plus a desire for sanity have helped me to stay out of the fray.  

The wind is fierce and hot from the south slapping the crepe myrtle all over the tin roof of the basement steps.  I touched base with Hub who is the contact person for this family ash spreading next week and he promised to give me a call when his friends get here.  I love that little piece of history which has been added to our story by the universe.  

We are blessed this week with George Patton who is one of my all time favorite field reps and Methodists.  We discussed the changes coming with Annual Conference and who's getting whom in between calibrations, phone calls and all the rest of the chaos that is the lab.  Cousin Marilyn stopped by while I was out and left a message that she loves me and was going out to steal my car!  Gotta love it.

Millette sent me a pic this morning of my wedding day where my blushing bride self was flanked by my mother and grandmother aka Gaga.  That was 38 years ago and I looked very young which I was.  I wore my late cousin Debbie's wedding dress and the maids were dressed in yellow gingham.  Total vintage 70s cuteness. We got an emergency call from the best man on the day before that the pants to his brown tux didn't fit but that got fixed somehow.  I cried all the way down the aisle on my Daddy's arm to face my future husband in front of Willis G and Oscar Bruce at FUMC on the corner of Main and McGaughey.  It being May and all my mother was stoned on allergy meds and sat on the carpeted steps next to me before her escort down.  

My DSL went out night before last while I was watching Bloodline getting ready for season 3 so I spent 30 minutes on the phone lining up a tech visit for today.  He came and fixed a broken wire at the box on the road before I even got off.  Thanks dude!  Hotspot uses too much data.  According to the locals, I'm at the end of the line for their reach from Troy Avenue.  I expect them to cut me off any time because of the hassle of keeping one customer online.  It's my only option other than satellite which costs twice as much.  

That's all I know other than I'm uneasy about the upcoming impeachment because then all the focus goes from Trump to Pence and Ryan and that's even scarier.  Who the hell is Pence anyway????

Faithful always ~


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

arrogance personified

You would think that after 40 years of working with doctors who think they're gods I would be used to a tongue lashing.  Actually it hasn't happened for a very long time until today and it totally caught me off guard.  I'll spare the details but I was humiliated in front of my peers one more time.  It will be the last.  "He's been in a mood" she said.  Not acceptable in my book.

Corporate ag came and went quickly and I never saw him.  He and Bubba visited Mozella and caught up on some family history with William.  That's it until the big house moving in the fall.  There will be a memorial service over Memorial Day weekend out here behind the dairy barn for some folks who worked Ferguson Farm back in the day.  Ashes to ashes and all that.  I hope to meet up with the fam and do some pics for them so they can concentrate on the ceremony.  

My mama always told me if you don't have anything nice to say just shut up.  That is what I'll do now because I'm smooth worn out with the drama of every day life.  There seems to be very little justice in the world and when there is it's about making money.  

And so it goes ~

Monday, May 15, 2017

and the cupboard was full

Today has been a whirlwind sort of thing.  I swapped hours and went in at 6 so that I could get BG on the road back to Jackson and ended up stuck past quitting time.  I scurried on home and scooped her and we did a little business before hitting 412.  That's when the phone started ringing.  Now, I cannot talk and drive, I'm just saying.  She answered the phone once and it was Bubba who understood.  My other neighbor who's been sick down at the mayor's house called and asked me if I could bring her some distilled water for her C-Pap when I got back to town.  Okay then.  After passing by some sort of huge fire at Crockett Mills and stopping in at the Four Points 'gentral I found them to be "out."  Seeing as how I'm almost a nurse I figured bottled water would work so I got her two big ones and proceeded to deliver them.  No answer at the door.

I was pulling out when I saw a young woman and child in the yard waving at me so I pulled back in and explained that it was all they had.  Don't you want to come in and see her, she asked.  That's when I slammed the door on my finger and hollered SHIT.  Next step is to ice that baby down.  It's the bird finger on my other hand opposite where I dislocated the same one so I'm sure arthritis will have me by the middle finger soon.  

Anywho, my buddy Kevin came to and shared about all his adventures like dog burying ( can I relate! ) and Mondays are crazy.  My friendship with him began many years ago at First United Methodist Church in Youth Club.  He came with his buddies and is now a devout Nazarene.  

I love it when that happens ~

Sunday, May 14, 2017

yo mama

Today is the one where we honor our mothers with something special.  I got an early wakeup call from BG and headed to Jackson to pick her up.  She had just finished a ten hour graveyard shift and was helping people out with breakfast when I got there.  After a brief stop to purchase a quart of oil from Mr. Indian store owner and putting it in the Camry, we headed for home.  It's a gorgeous day but already hot and sultry like Tennessee summer.  

We hit up the 'gentral at Four Points for pillows and I dropped her tired bones at the house while I made a trip to put some pink peonies on Mom's grave.  I didn't stay long because she is not there.  After that I stopped by the rehab to visit Mozella only she was sound asleep so I asked the roommate to tell her I had stopped by.  On the way out I ran into a Mr. John Stafford and we quickly found a common link what with the name and all.  He's from the Lenox tribe but just so happens to be a parishioner of my daddy's late cousin's husband Bill Oakley.  And he was waiting on a ride to church in his motorized wheelchair.  Small world indeed.

Last stop was Sonic for a bacon double cheeseburger for us to split.  Presently Lauren is passed smooth out in my room with Oscar at her feet.  They were ECSTATIC to see her.  She's in a lot of pain because of an old tailbone injury and can have nothing but tylenol so it's pretty miserable.  

I sent a message to the City of Dyersburg praising the officer who worked my case, Ms. L Ward.  They had been looking for this guy for awhile and he was wanted in a string of car break ins and thefts.  Stealing my trusty little Camry was his last act aside from breaking into the other guy's truck to sleep.  Ironically, I got a summons for jury duty in yesterday's mail.  Hmmmm.

And justice for all ~

Saturday, May 13, 2017

insult to injury

After a 12 hour nap I got up and ready for a 'gentral run and popped the trunk to load garbage bags.  That's when I discovered that the sonofabitch who stole my car took the spare, presumably to sell the rim.  Which I'm sure was on his agenda before he left the car at the mall.  The scrapyard is closed today ( right on Samaria Bend ) but I will be up there on Monday with asshat's picture and my car asking if anybody remembers anything.  They see so much of that kind of stuff I doubt it but who knows.  Maybe they have cameras or something.  

His bond was set at 12,500 in court yesterday so here's hoping nobody cares enough to get him out because my keys are still out there floating around somewhere.  From what I hear the guy who found him asleep in his truck is over six feet tall and dude is a scrawny little fucker.  He had broken INTO the truck and was taking a little nap.  I also noticed that when I picked the car up the tire iron was right next to the driver's seat  meaning he was ready to whack something or somebody.  The whole thing makes me physically sick.  

It's a whole 'nother world out there on the streets amongst the thieves and addicts.  Most crimes of this type are committed by someone feeding a drug habit, and around here it's usually meth or crack or opiates.  TONS of meth because we are redneck central.  

I went to Hulu to watch the handmaids and found that I've changed cards since I last logged in.  Oh well.  That can wait for payday.  Meanwhile, the garbage folks have cut me off and I don't blame them.  It was nice while it lasted.  I'm in the hole because of having to pay the towing bill unexpectedly.  Thanks scrawny little mofo meth head.  

This is the second mother's day without hearing mine's voice.  Last year I went into total meltdown mode and cried all day.  This year I will honor her with a vase of peonies at her grave.  I had hoped that BG could come home for a couple of days so we could be together.  We'll see how things work out.  With both of us working and no backup plus one car and 45 miles between us it's like working a puzzle.  

I'm going through hand me downs from Katie and keeping the onesies that are gender neutral.  There are promises all over of a swing, pack and play, high chair and more.  Reaves will totally have what she needs.  I feel for BG being mega pregnant in August and September.  Been there done that and it wasn't fun.  

If you see Jessie Pinkman on a bike holla ~

Friday, May 12, 2017

taking care of business

My brothers and daughter and I have talked about my final wishes which include cremation and a memorial stone in Gerald's front yard burial ground all legal and whatnot thanks to Bubba. I have always been fascinated by the place and even climbed through sticker bushes before it was cleaned out.  It's a well maintained and shaded spot near the Forked Deer river on a slight hill which I fell down once and tore a hamstring.  That shit bad~ My whole leg turned purple and I couldn't sit for about 3  months.  Lauren was there with me and it freaked her out!

Thank you sweet baby jeebus, today was better at the sawmill.  I was so tired after the past three days that I overslept this morning.  That's what the "meh" was about.  I have really cool neighbors and Pat stopped by for a beer and some chat yesterday on his way to mow the yard.  Mamye was doing the first of a three day run delivering Mother's Day flowers.  I talked to many people and told the same story about 100 times.  The jokes are still flying about the ugliest car in that lot getting stolen.  Dude will be incarcerated for a very long time...just saying.  He's got a rap sheet a mile long at 26.  What a waste of life.

I've been so busy I only that Trump is heading at warp speed to the end of his not so historical term because people don't like it when he fires the head of the agency invesgating his election for fraud and or tampering.  It's good to see Kelly Baby out there cheering for him again.  She's been out of sight for some time thank goodness.  My next show is the Handmaiden one.  That should help my attitude toward the government, right?  

Peace be still ^j^

Thursday, May 11, 2017


I'm sitting here waiting on a stray thunderstorm to water my garden which will probably happen according to weather underground.  It's like only without the ads.  There's a handy little phone app.  I should probably sprinkle a few osmocote pellets beforehand.

I called the DPD today to see what's up with little car thief but the Captain didn't return my call.  Voicemail for all!  I did get an answer at county that the perp didn't have any keys on him when booked early yesterday.  He probably dropped them in the mall.  

On so many levels I am weary.  At 61 I cannot continue to do the job of two people that requires constant motion on bad tennis shoes plus a side of stress.  Life is short, and then you die. I finished up 13 Reasons and was amazed at the dedication of this production crew to bring up these issues and play them out.  This shit is real and happens everyday just like crackheads stealing cars.  

There are no rose colored glasses here.  Just the truth~

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

lost and found

My car is unmistakably tacky and loud to say the least.  However it has four new tires and a door handle which I cherish.  After being dropped off at home and visiting with Mamye and cussing a blue streak about thieves, I settled in for my daily piddle.  Jillzy called me late afternoon and said she had seen my car parked at the mall and the guy was headed into JC Penney, presumably to steal some more stuff.  She quickly called 311 to report on the situation.  About an hour later I got a call from a cop telling me my car had been found abandoned in the parking lot.  I had no way to get there and wasn't sure where the keys were so it had to be towed.  

This morning I called good old Ann at Patterson Brothers to find out what to do.  The towing cost, on me, was 137 bucks with tax and luckily I had that amount to get it out of the lot.  I am broke as a goose now, but that's not unusual.  I needed my car.  The rental was cancelled and the Progressive agent was thrilled to not have to pay anything but the 37 bucks over my co-pay.  

My little friend took me to the lot where I found the trusty Camry wedged tightly between 2 other vehicles.  What I found when I opened the door was a shocker.  Before he abandoned the car this guy had stolen ANOTHER bike and it was in the backseat, crushing my prescription glasses.  There was a backpack in the front seat and the white Jessie Pinkman style hoodie he had been wearing was stuck under something in the back floorboard.  Umm..okay.  So I went to the PD and asked to see the captain in charge with this additional evidence.  They took pics and removed said items.  Though they did not share the information with me, I found that he was booked into county this morning for some other mischief.  Captain said to contact him tomorrow for a full report on my particular part of the ongoing investigation of a crackhead on the lam.  There was some odd looking set of keys stuck in the ignition and thank God I had found the other set.  However, that leaves the original keys either still in his possession or in a personal belongings bag at the jail.  I feel very violated and it's creepy thinking about this idiot driving around in my car.  I hope they throw the book at his sorry ass.  And also that I get my keys back.

My buddy nicknamed me grand theft auto today and the whole sawmill has been abuzz with the goings on.  I'm just glad it's over for now.  Please call me as a witness for the prosecution.  Pretty please.

I had forgotten what it's like to be putting out fires all day while trying to work and keep up.  It's not a good feeling but I did it for a lot of years when my parents were alive.  And, of course, I would do it all again.  

Forward ~

Tuesday, May 9, 2017


In copspeak that means be on the lookout, like for stolen cars. Today as been surreal on a lot of levels.  I showed up at six for work and did what needed to be done at the moment.  After breakfast I clocked out to drive over to an alternate campus for a smoke.  Only the trusty Camry was not there.  There was a kids size bike with neon green tires laid against the rail where my car used to be.  Somebody else snagged that spot after he rolled out.  

I called the law and hospital security and then we all went up to review the camera footage of said suspect trolling the parking lot in broad daylight.  They took the bike as evidence and all.  The status of the case is "pending arrest" whatever that means.  Mamye picked me up from the sawmill and bossfriend is taking me in tomorrow morning.  Hopefully the rental will come through soon.  There's a big celebration going on up there right now....a family picnic complete with bouncy house.  

I had a bit of a karmic experience this morning with a really self absorbed sort of guy who was a random date during the years that I did that sort of thing.  Things don't look really good for him at this point.  I also visited our mayor and gave her a kiss.  

I just got word that the car was found abandoned at the mall by whomever.  It was fascinating watching this guy on video footage scoping out cars in broad daylight for something to steal.  He was obviously on a mission to steal shit per the bicycle and bags MO.  I showed up at work at 6AM and he did his business during the next 30 minutes. 

Such is life, huh?  

Monday, May 8, 2017

the rest of the story

My daddy knew the history of the man he worked for.  I remember a tale about how Harry the unborn baby lost his father in the icy winter of Reelfoot Lake while on skates duck hunting.  Today I talked with a woman whose father found that well preserved body, frozen in time.  Her daddy's uncle was with him and he told him to stay there while he walked the woods to Tiptonville to get help.  She said that in 1982 that baby came to visit her....just always had wanted to get some closure.  

The widow with a young child remarried and the Ferguson Farm era began.  That was during the peony farm and animal raising days.  Plus a pond with swans, according to Miss Mary.  I'm glad I've at least kept the asparagus farming thing alive.  The peonies in the pine grove should be ready for Mother's day which is on me this year.  It's been awhile since I visited.  

My redneck sprinkler is currently rigged up and just needs to be moved now and then.  It's hot and dry but I sprinkled some osmocote over everything before hand.  It will help the grass to grow!

Sunshine ~

Sunday, May 7, 2017

will work for insurance

That's what most of us are doing truth be told.  Early retirement is 62 and there's not a whole lot of money difference as you get older.  You just can't get the healthcare piece until age 65.  You can also earn about 17K per year while drawing SS.  That's because nobody can afford to live on it!!  I started drawing my pension from Methodist at 55 because I need it.  It's a lifetime annuity and I gave up 400 a month to draw it early but who the hell knows if I'll be here at 65?  I mean seriously.  

The red winged blackbird that perches on the baby pecan tree outside the bathroom window has become my constant totem representing change and moving forward without fear.  Going with the flow, so to speak.  I am so down for that.  

Speaking of which, I have the total solution for healthcare reform right here in my pointy little head.  All the GOP folks are hollering more power to the states so I say hand it over to them to develop a single payer system for their citizens.  Healthcare is the biggest industry in our state so surely we can put paper to pencil on that one and figure something out.  Of course that would cut the bottom line for the for-profits and big pharm.  Do I care?  Not a bit.  

It's a beautiful day in the hood.  Y'all go plant something ~

Saturday, May 6, 2017

reaching out

That's another one of those politcally correct terms that gets wayyyy overused in the corporate world and gets on my nerves.  That being said I "reached out" to the governor and both senators of the State of Tennessee regarding the ACA repeal.  As this is a hot topic presently, both senators had generic emails waiting with which to reply with Corker's sounding a whole lot friendlier than Lamar's.  No word from Haslam yet but it is the weekend.  

My newest addiction is 13 Reasons Why.  It is masterfully crafted in a way that you never know which twist will take you on that turn.  Who among us has not asked "why" in the face of tragedy whe the truth is that the reasons are usually multiple.  I can sense the frustration not just of the teenagers but of the parents and teachers attempting to do their part to "fix" things.  When things get too heavy I just jump back into Grace and Frankie.

All is well here.  The little alien baby who shall be named Reaves is doing well and so is her mama.  We will share this Mother's day in some form or fashion even if by phone or card.  Heather and Joe are in town with AJ so I'm excited about meeting him too!

The sex count for lab grandbabies now stands at 2 and 2 all stairstepped to be born beginning in August.  Talk about some picture swapping!  

This is the day that the Lord has made ~

Friday, May 5, 2017

baby face

I got to meet my in-utero granddaughter today during Lauren's ultrasound.  She was quite active and moving hands and feet every which a way even at 9 ounces.  According to the doc and ultrasound lady everything was perfectly on track for where she is in the pregnancy.  After that we grubbed out at Rafferty's and I remembered how much I  miss eating there back when I had money.  Not that I had it today but by golly it was a celebration of Reaves girls and we had leftovers so there you go.  
It was storming in Jackson when I got up and cleared out of Dyersburg just as I was leaving.  The wind is pretty high so I fought with that all the way back on 412.  Turned out to be a gorgeous day though a bit nippy.  Sometime when I was occupied, Mamye left a tears.  She is heading to the vet clinic right now to have her old friend Tipper put down.  She's down to just two cats and both are elders.  I feel her pain just like she felt mine.  

The circle of life....ain't it amazing ?

a different wakeup

I dreamed heavily this morning and fought to come out of the fog of sleep at 830ish.  This old girl was tired.  I wandered to Sonic for breakfast and hit up the shady 'gentral before heading to the Lannom Center to help my friend set up.  I carried books and pictures and she hauled that table in like a warrior woman.  I then began my treatment which was sheer joy.  One woman who was scoping things out came by and asked "is she okay?" because I was laid out real still.  She and another guy made plans to come back by.  While I was there on the table Yaya came in with her stuff from Hexpol so we got to visit as well.  Score on the ink pen and tiny tape measure.

It makes me kind of proud to see so many businesses, many of them small and thriving in our area.  An expo like this is the perfect way to showcase what's good and up and coming in the community.  I watched one woman assemble this huge sign thing from metal parts that she carried in a bag.  Amazing. Abby and Cindy from French's were there delivering sweets to yet another booth.  Y'all run on out there. It's from 2-7.

Guess what? It's raining again.  

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

MFR tip of the day

My friend Gay is a myofascial release therapist who was trained by the physical therapist who invented the technique, John Barnes and she has traveled the world to do so.  Tomorrow at the Lannom Center the chamber of commerce will be hosting a small business expo.  Gay will be there giving samples of what she does best and will most certainly have her table up front and center.  The treatment consists of stretching the fascia that surrounds the whole body like a web.  When there is injury from trauma, repetitive motion or plain old stress the fascia contracts and causes pain, sometimes at a totally different site.  Five minute positional holds plus some arm pulling and a side of psoas and you're in business.  Insurance doesn't pay for this because as we know they're not about wellness.  So uh...what's up with all those PT clinics??  Y'all go see what the whole thing is about.  Tomorrow from 2-7.  I'm sure there will be a lot of cute jewelry too plus the fabulous folks from The Mill Workspace.  Maybe I can pick up a new ink pen or two ;) 

I ran into Sophie's daddy's keeper at work and he offered his condolences for our loss.  Only animal lovers truly get that pain.  They are so loyal and compassionate.  He has Maggie and Chester, father and daughter and his son has a black lab and golden retriever named Reece.  How perfect for that family.

Honor thy father and thy mother ^j^

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

dream on

I had barely gotten in the door at work today when Yaya called and told me about her dreams in very vivid detail.  Her voice cracked as she described she and Gaga going to a wedding and her doing the honors of escorting that exceptional old woman.  She said they laughed and hugged and squeezed and it was glorious.  Next was her friend Judy and then they all ended up at Miss Ann's house for some odd reason.  Out there at Lakewood where they have to die for oak leaf hydrangeas.  I'm trying not to cry early in the day because you feel like crap but that almost got me.  All I could do was say thanks for sharing that with me.  She and her family are like my own.  

I ran into another old friend at the chicken store and we talked photography a bit.  That was after a snack stop at the 'gentral.  I seriously avoid Lake Rd and 51 if I can.  Which is, of course, where Kroger is.  And everything other food joint you can think of.  I did business with the lovely ATT lady in a cubicle shared by Domino's.  Little storefronts.  

The day Van Hinson lost The Plaza that was the end of my convenient eating.  His meats were to die for and he had all the other staples including brooms and beer.  He and Kenny were always around to hand cut.  He gave credit to tons of folks like me and at the time of the flood I was paid in full.  Shady Kroger shut down before that.  Food desert!

Here's a business idea for any of you who might own a property that could be used for a small grocery store on Highway 51 would be used like heck especially if it has a fresh and organic section.  It can't be in Southtown proper because that still floods.  The big one even took over all the way past Clark Distributing.  That was a headwater that began with 11 inches in Nashvegas.

For the life of me I can't remember the name of that little corner of Lauderdale where the Forked Deer and Obion merge into the Big Muddy.  I used to go riding out that way all the time learning the backroads with my buddy.  I remember standing on a hill at highway 88 and thinking "there goes Chisholm".  We watched people in boats out exploring.  Kind of like a redneck Waterworld.  

I have always known that the father of the man my Daddy worked for drowned while crossing a frozen Reelfoot Lake in 1918.  My brother told me that his buddy remembers his grandma telling tales about HER folks finding and recovering his body.  I'm intrigued, to say the least.

Stay tuned for for more chatter ~

Monday, May 1, 2017

i give

I don't know what it is in me that thinks I can make a difference in the whole scheme of things.  I've always been that way...if I believe in something strongly I hang on like a dog with a bone.  That's just another way that I punish myself by thinking that I have any control over ANYTHING.  My friend Sondra scooped me up at Patterson Brothers this morning for work and dropped me off where they had put on new tires and fixed the door handle inside and out with the parts I bought from the salvage yard.  It's been years since I've had an outside handle.  What a luxury!  Not to mention the fact that I can also open from the inside and not crawl out the passenger side.  God is good....all the time.

When I look at how appreciative folks can be for small miracles and then hear the back biting and complaining that is the rest of the world I just shake my head.  All things are relative when it comes to being grateful.  If you're rich with money, having more does nothing much but feed the greed.  When you don't have enough, life is a struggle.  I'm smack in the middle where I live check to check as a single woman.  I always have something to eat.  I have a job.  That's more than what a lot of folks can say.  

I think that having a vocation where you are appreciated and valued is a big plus in the happiness department.  I've had it both ways in my career and have survived thus far.  Somebody asked me today when I'm gonna' "give it up."  I just gave her a wan smile and said "I can't".  But maybe....just maybe.  

I think I can ~