settling

Mama always told me that it when it came to love I just "settled" instead of finding the real deal. In 1950s rhetoric that means I sold my dreams for a shot at beginning a family myself. At the time BG was born I was still working odd shifts and mom would come to our house on Tickle street late at night to cover 'til I got off. Her daddy worked graveyard at the rubber plant. Our lives were the perfect storm of pre-bust 80s credit and promises of forever after. At one time we made close to 80K (twenty five years ago) but that was before corporate America decided to move to Ohio or Brentwood. That house of cards built on plastic tumbled around 1995 prior to debit cards and smart phones. Imagine what it would be now! BK was easy then as long as you had all your ducks in a row. Now? Not so much. I've toyed with the idea of it over the past few years and still see it as an option if the cash flow doesn't improve. I can see small improvements such as not HALF my check gone before it hits the bank. The loan sharks are priority and if the IRS doesn't fine and penalty me to death my refund will be used to get rid of that shit forever. If there is no refund? I will survive.

My heart was warmed as a million or more Europeans marched in France against the violence and hatred that is jihad. I've been trolled about that particular subject until I'm tired of hearing Sharia law and how the "majority" of Muslims practice that very thing. Bullshit! Islam is about peace except for the ummm "later chapters??" I'm here to tell you I want no part of what's described in Revelations because that sounds like a whole bunch of drama with reward tied to obedience. Every time I hear somebody bash a religious group I just have to turn my head because that's not my fight but theirs. I believe in total separation of church and state and that's not happening nor has it ever. Hey..if you want to read the 10 commandments, don't put 'em in the courthouse.. just pull out your King James version.

What else? Hmm. The GOP is sucking hind tit as their short list gets rid of their investment opportunities prior to the 2016 election. Bernie is kicking ass and taking names which makes me giddy with hope and faith. If enough people will listen to independent voices we'll be okay. If not, it's total us against them which never works. My celebrity boyfriend John Cusack is on the board of Eat the Press which is a really far out there freedom of speech deal connected with HuffPost. He's been all over Snowden et.al. since before the Russian capture of America's #1 enemy. Dude was telling what happened during his tenure and somebody wanted him to shut the hell up. Go ahead dickheads...blame Obama one more time. Personally, I think it's Cheney's fault.

I posted yesterday about a Clint Eastwood film just out featuring a well trained sniper who got offed at a firing range by some crazy lady. He was heavy into the military conflict that was our last 12 years and we all know what PTSD is right? That was a very dark time in our history with a lot of young people believing that they were serving their country when in fact they were misled. About mid-war there began to be reports of coming doom by those independent journalists like Michael Yon who were embeds with troops. Sub-par equipment. Brutal ground and air conditions. Constant danger from crazed jihad rebels who want to die anyway so there you go. Unwinnable. The ones who defend these wars claim that it's better to attack them on THEIR home turf before they come and get us. Any high school football coach will explain to you how that won't work.

In spite of it all, I'm okay and that's a miracle considering the past year. My shoulder hurts and I'm still disobedient but maybe things will look up soon. At least we didn't get much ice this morning! I realized this morning that Daddy and I are just going through the motions with the church/eggs&doughnuts thing with an allergy shot at the end. I stopped by to check on Mom before I picked him up and she was fine but worried about that knee. Mario will be there this week to offer brace suggestions. Oh, and Chris.

Love ya'll....mean it.