prince fred

By the time I made it into Yahoo! chat rooms I was freshly divorced and ready for action which is what that was all about. The bots were horrific hos' so it was unusual for me to run across a real live person who cared like Mark. That was back when people had time to sneak off for a private chat via the innerwebs. And yes, I had phone sex once and felt like trash. Here's the thing...I left a long term marriage with a lot of issues on the table and found that he actually was pretty dependable when it came to things of honor. I will never forget the sadness in his eyes when he asked for another chance because he "finally" loved me. I have no clue what I was looking for at that time. A friend maybe? Now hang with me on this one. Right about then I had a terrific crush on work guy and kind of used chat room conversations to um, channel that. It only took a few months for Prince Fred in Nigeria to find my gullible ass.

First the prince sent flowers and a teddy bear (ack) on somebody's stolen card and then proceeded to send me lots of merchandise from all over the damn world and asked me to send it on to Nigeria because he was busy in London and it would save him some import tax. Big huge flip flops like size 13! Digital camera and expensive phone! I have to say that the Homeland Security branch of our local county law was a bit puzzled by all of the deliveries when I called for a consult. Seems as if the UPS guys over in Covington had already picked up on the scam and it was full blown. Oh.My.Lerd. Anywho I packed it all up and sent it back on my dime because I just knew Jesus wouldn't like it for me to keep all that stuff when there was criminal activity involved. Fred actually called me at work via an ATT operator and threatened me for not sending his stuff to Nigeria with the label he(they) emailed to me.

I remember the night Mark called me and told me that he had found a true love and would be moving to marry and live with her. "Boy, do I have a story for you!" This is a guy who wrote music for a living and tried to "leave room for the drummer" often referring to himself as a musical whore. He was in a long term and distance relationship with somebody in Nashvegas and not real happy with it when Big Ernie decided to bless him with somebody special. I love it when that happens. I will always associate Santana and M Branch's "Game of Love" with him. It was around that time that the biggest miracle I've ever witnessed happened right down at the end of the lane. Gumbler was out with a chainsaw trying to rustle up wood for a bonfire and the saw broke and flipped him into a ditch with a telephone pole on top. Luckily the ground was soft and no bones were broken and he ALWAYS kept his cell in the coverall pocket. A 911 call went out and people swarmed Pecan Lane trying to help him get out from under that huge pole. Dude had everything he needed including a flattened piece of metal to drag him out unscathed.

Seriously? You can't make this shit up.