i saw the light

You know the one. At the end of the tunnel where you just want the pain to go away but something's holding you back. Like it's not your time. I am serious when I say that whatever the hell the bug is I've had coupled with a day of dentistry knocked me on my butt. I go down early and easily now, not fighting the urge to rest and relax because I know my body needs it. It needed it twenty years ago but my plate was kinda full then with a young child and a marriage coming apart at the seams. That's a whole 'nother story that has probably been told in one of the other places chapters. If I ever do get the book written I know EXACTLY who I'm going to hire as co-writers. Hint: We love chips and salsa. One has the imagination and the other is a wizard with organizing things. How can we go wrong???

My house is passable by very lenient standards and that's okay. As long as we can get from room to room without tripping, it's all good. It will get clean before any grandbabies come along to crawl on the floor. I hear the helicopter flying over that was landing when I left work today. A couple of law cars and a helicopter usually means something bad. I always pray for those people in the choppers and for the ones who are caring for the patients. I guess I feel like I know 'em. Does that mean I love my job? You bet your ass I do.

Ya'll enjoy your Monday. And count your blessings that you're not getting a pap smear like poor little me. Wahhhhhh.

cigars and beer

I got to watch coverage of the olympic games while sitting in the dentist chair waiting to get hammered...like, literally. I asked sweet little Steph to just put me on gas because I already knew it would take two hours. The first news that greeted me on Yahoo! today was about a bunch of folks being all stirred up over the Canadian girls having a beer and cigar on the ice after their hockey game. If it wasn't so stupid, I would have cried. Instead I got the biggest belly laugh I've had this week over those gals whooping it up over a win. The training required for those games is more than most people can ever imagine, and the competition is fierce. If you've earned your way there, you've earned the right to celebrate as long as you don't get rowdy and knock each other in the head with beer bottles.

Bubba's Christmas present from me every year is a few rounds of feeding his poker club on "wild meat monday". I've done pork tenderloin, spaghetti and chicken ro-tel before. This time I'm going basic with meat loaf and veggies. Guys love it and it's easy. I'm working this weekend so there will be little extra time for a lot of food prep. BG and BF are on the road to a couple of places and the dogs have stayed right next to me the whole time. Nothing like having babies that love you!!

I'm so impatient that I picked a daffodil bud yesterday and put it in water just to see if I could get it to open up. Nah.....it didn't work. You can't fool mother nature.

^j^ Keep the faith

whine and cheese

Okay ya'll....enough is enough. I'm pretty strong when it comes to not being a baby with sickness and stuff but DANG. Can't a smartass middle aged country girl get a break???? This beast has had me by the balls throat since Saturday. Pass the kleenex, please and thank you. I kept trying to get somebody at the sawmill to just shoot me and be done with it but they're all woosies when it comes to guns. Never have to worry about any of them going postal ;)

I'm on strike from eating in the cafeteria because the check-out lady is a bitch made me open my plate the other day to ensure that I wasn't stealing an extra bite. Everybody knows what a thief I can be...gah. The devil will ice skate up to her debit card reader before she collects a dime of my money again. So there, Flossie. I gave you up for Lent. Rant over.

The weather is moderating a bit with less snow and more rain and almost-fifties which is a very good thing. Last year we had several accumulating snows in March but none before that. Let's hope we've had our turn for 2010. I've noticed goldfinches on my thistle socks and a robin or two hopping around. No blooms yet, but they will come. March is the month when the cattle will be sold. I told Bubba I wanted to take one last tour in his truck with a camera before he loads 'em out. It will be a very odd silence without some bessies mooing in the background. Cows are ornery, ya'll. I thought he was gonna have a heart attack over those calves jumping through fences last spring to get to the green stuff.

BG has had a bad case of strep and has been home for a couple of days recovering and cooking my supper which is something I could totally get used to. Oh, and she cleans too. She's the one who has taught ME to organize things and reduce clutter. BF paid off the washer for us and feeds the ornery old horse who will soon be moving across the road to the dairy barn. Pride turns his butt to the face of anybody who approaches him except for Johnboy.

If anyone needs me I'll be in the bed for about 32 hours. Leave a message at the beep.

^j^

miracles in motion

We had a staff meeting this afternoon that could have been a real snoozer, but turned out to be one of Big Ernie's little miracles just to remind us who we are. I always told BG that when she left the house as a teenager " Remember who you are!" Yeah, right ...she would snarl and go on her merry way to being not too bad of a kid but quite moody as girl children can become as teens. I remember....because I was one once and as mama would say, I paid for my raising. Now that she's a social worker and sees how some mommas are, I'm in prime position for mother of the year, homemade cookies and garden and all. I have a particular habit of praying for courage and faith in most any situation, not just the scary ones. I may not stop and say the actual sentence but Big Ernie knows what I mean because..well. He just does.

I thought about how we had grown as a family together through two sales from a county owned to a not-for-profit to our present company. Children have been born, grown up and married and had many a high school graduation. Parents have died. CEWhatevers have come and gone. There was one particular boss that we had who was well suited for the job as a nursing graduate with administrative experience. It was fun then....back in the day. We had festivals and played around because that's what non-profits to not show a profit. Our facility was bought during a bidding war between two church affiliated companies in the heat of battle. Both of them wanted control of the "feeder" hospitals in the western part of TN to increase their home base patient population down south. But then...our owner's vision changed to "let's lose those seven and concentrate on transplant medicine with UT" I was a delegate to annual conference the year that our CEO appeared and did the pitch at the end of opening night. I was NOT amused. And that is when I began to fall out-of-love with the UMC. Well, that and seeing all those poor gay people jumping off the balcony at that big meeting..

My parents still attend weekly and I cruise up into the parking lot in the trusty old Camry with two hubcaps to ferry them to Mel's and stop by Van's (on the way home, of course). Church friends often give them rides and that means a lot to them and to us. That's what believers do, I think. They seek each other out on the road of life and talk about things...try to find a common spirit that everybody can connect with. It's a whole lot more comforting than the hellfire and brimstone version.

Ya'll keep the faith ^j^

a dog's life

Our house is a favorite place to celebrate things like birthdays because there's a nice spot for a fire and we can always whip up something tasty and delicious. Plus, it's kid friendly. Last night we honored Blanca for her 47th, with two grandchildren and one grandog in attendance. Conner and Natalie are about the same age and just love it here on the lane. They fuss and fight like cats and dogs when they're anywhere else....but not here. John Boy has this flashlight he wears on his head out in the dark and Nat had a fit to wear it so she could see the cat all curled up in BG's room. Conner rearranged the furniture. Business as usual. He brought me a present that he picked out HIMSELF and hand delivered, even though it was his Nana's birthday. I love it when that happens :) We go way back with that bunch to high school adventures, complete with miraculous rescues and family angst.

As we pulled into Mel's parking lot today I spotted this beautiful brindle and white puppy positioned on the back of the seat in this truck parked out front. Me and Daddy admired her through the glass as Mama eased toward the door with her walker for two soft scrambled eggs, grits and two sausage and biscuits, with one to go. Our waitress was absent so we took a table up front as the owner, whose name is NOT Mel, took our order. Sweetie came back in just in time to get a harsh glance from him for not being on the ball with the old people. It doesn't take much...we're totally predictable. Dude with the puppy checked out right ahead of us and let me hold that baby for just a minute. "Chick magnet" I said. That's what pets are, especially the cuddly ones.

I've been watching a hand me down tiny television ever since I became a single smartass gal 8 years ago. If I remember correctly, my friend Kay offered it up from her garage when she realized I was serious about the divorce and TVless to boot. She and Claudine loaned me a dime or two to get through the whole ordeal and I've never paid them back. Someday, girls. When sugardaddy shows up, ya'll will be the first to sail on his yacht. I bought a slightly used set today from my cousin's boy and his wife so I feel like my outlook on life will at least a little bit enhanced by a bigger screen where I can actually see the hotties on Oprah.

They're thunder in the vicinity with that southerly flow clashing with the next cool front. Notice I said cool, not cold. Hopefully that's history for this winter. If not, we'll roll with it.

Happy monday eve, ya'll. Keep the faith ^j^

this old house

It's a good thing I'm not real picky about a clean house like some women people because it's an impossible task for one who lives in a hundred year old farm dwelling with two dogs and two other humans. Oh...and a cat. The lighting is dim so that helps me to get away with a few extra dust bunnies but by golly, the broom is my best friend on a sunny day when I can actually see them! My work alarm went off at seven today so I was up and out early doing the dollar store and kroger thing. I saw Bubba and Bandit at the fuel center, then went on to Mom's to deliver some stuff.

That asparagus bed has been staring at me through the "office" window for months now, begging to be cleared out so that the new crop can have room. And I do so love torching shit. It was still damp enough that I didn't have to worry about burning down the entire lane (which I did almost do one time) and lots of leaves to get it started. Voila! Ready for spring. Wonderful grilled with lemon juice and butter. We are out of propane again, and not in any hurry since it's warm. That grill will probably be put to use today.

Both dogs are chilling and so am I. As Martha would say "It's a good thing."

^j^

lenten! values!

I kid you not...that was one of the ads in today's mega-giant grocery store ad, featuring lots of fishy options to beef and pork and such. I think chicken is allowed during the season of giving up something tasty or pleasurable. And for Methodists like myself pork is the other white meat. Except when it's ham. THAT my friends is for Easter lunch.

I found myself in a conversation this morning explaining the 40 days and nights theory of self-sacrifice to one who had never heard of that particular story during her spiritual bringin' up. Even though I haven't darkened the door of a church in months, I still keep the seasons close to my heart. I guess I kinda sorta see it as taking it on the road like the early believers did. I spent many years as a faithful attendee at a church that was packed on Christmas and Easter and deserted on Tennessee football game and holiday weekends.

I got ashed several times....a very moving experience when taken seriously. Tradition dictates that the ashes of the previous christian year's palm fronds which waved victoriously as Jesus entered Jerusalem be placed on the foreheads of the Ash Wednesday participants as a reminder of the meaning of the whole thing. Easter bunnies from the Dollar General kind of miss the mark. Mama tells the story of how her grandmother Ethel and the other elderly ladies would bring their birds to church on Easter morning for sunrise service. Ethel had parakeets to keep her company in that house on Pate while my grandaddy Ockie worked at the KW Rogers store. She and I would load in up in that ancient white car with the faded red top and head down to F.W. Woolworth on the square to get a coke and scope out the new crop of birds. Ockie died before I was born but his picture hung in the back bedroom where I slept. Since the bathroom was right next door and the light stayed on, he stared at me all night and I usually ended up next to her bony butt, scared to death.

^j^

silence is golden

The snow is still falling here and there, with little accumulation but a whole lot of lingering cold air. Not much sweatin' going on around here these days, but this too shall pass. I can see grass, and some of it is green under the dead leaves. Soon, it will be time to mow and plant and mulch. Any my lazy butt will probably just wander in the yard looking at pretty things and smiling. Definitely a farmer's daughter.

We have a new co-worker in training who is delivering her only son back to the military for deployment to Afghanistan soon. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling, all the while learning a new job and new people. She joined us for our weekly mexican fix at lunch today and was surprised at how easily she has fit in with the new group. She's a lot like me...very to the point and not easily flustered, so I like her already. These days the people who are real enough to be who they are with no excuses are the type I like to hang with. Life is too short for pretenders, ya know?

So far, so good with the no aricept and Daddy's behavior. The FTD symptoms are still there, but the anxiety and irritability seem to have slacked off somewhat. We love us some baby steps. Mom has some new audiovisual assistance in the works so that will keep her amused for hours I'm sure.

Meanwhile, the hunt wait for sugadaddy continues. With a faithful heart, as always ^j^

snow on the north banks

That's about all we have left here, and the oldtimers say they're waiting on the next one. Looks like they might get it tonight. Note to self: get those boots NOW while they're on sale. Today is the polar opposite of yesterday with gloomy skies all around. Someone please remind me in July that I said I was over winter. I'll be wanting it back then :)

Mom and Daddy went to church together on the first day of their 57th year of marriage. As soon they were in the car, Mom went fishing for my valentine. The organization of this holiday has been sort of haphazard with the BG and I doing team shopping for them and everybody else. Inside my card, which I had purchased for them, was a gold necklace with a diamond heart that he had given her sometime or another. I'm glad I kinda sorta knew ahead of time or else I would have busted out crying right there at Mel's. They got special attention since it was their anniversary, and their favorite waitress who has the menu memorized was back in action. For supper there will be more church and pimento cheese. That, my friends, is true love. I still have the heart dangling from my neck and those loving handwritten words running through my head.

Happy Valentine's Day ya'll. Keep the faith ^j^

muddy feet and loving hearts

That's the thing about snow, you see. When it finally melts the ground is kinda sorta like all smooshy and then you get stuck in the muck. Thank goodness I have old tennis shoes for days like this. I took a walk around the lawn yard today when the sun was out and found some flowers which just tickled me to death. Two new crocuses *plural: croci* one yellow and the other purple. Daffodils are up with a bud here and there just waiting for a warm day to pop open. I think we'll retire the ancient pair of Doc Martens that we've worn for twelves years, off and on. If this back to normal seasons theme is to continue, I will need something more comfy for next winter.

I've already received a Valentine, and it's only V-day eve. BG went to help her Memaw with the Jitterbug which is their project du jour, and came home with a pearl heart necklace that Daddy surprised Mom with sometime during the 56 years they've been married. The way I keep up with that is that they were wed one year before I was born in '55. I'm sure we'll have a lovely anniversary breakfast at Mel's tomorrow. After early service at the FUMC, of course.

^j^

all my rowdy friends

I've been hitting the sack soon after dark since the snow has been around, so I was snoozing like a baby when my phone rang last night. It was on the dresser, so I let it ring and slept right on. Then it rang again. And again, I slept right on. This morning when I woke up (late,again) and checked my messages there was one from Yaya's phone featuring one Mr. Studley Hungwell wishing me a happy valentine's day. The voice sounded familiar but I went on to the next one and found that my dear friends were out partying without me and Pinky got put up to calling first. Yeah...I love ya'll back :)Me and Yaya and our redneck friend used to hit up the kudzu bar EVERY Thursday afternoon for ladies night. Eventually we got tired of being the entertainment for a bunch of guys sitting in the dark watching sports and playing dominos. We'd all just rather be at home with our beer.


The old poopster has contracted herself to pay monthly on a contract for a bridge. I told BG I had "sold my soul" to the dentist. She will have to do the same for a congenitally missing front tooth that has been precariously patched since she got her braces off at 15. It's time for that or an implant, which was also my other choice. I think not.

Our dance card is full, as usual, this weekend but I plan on spending some time for myself with some pampering of the skin and nails. Maybe I can talk the other roommate into giving me and BG both massages. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hope your day of love is filled to the brim with it!

^j^

cupid

All of the valentines I've bought have been for special people because I just don't do that sort of thing a lot. I picked out some for my parents to give each other and they'll "get it" when we read them out loud :) V Day will be their 56th anniversary, bless their hearts. If the don't kill each other first! We've done the shopping, so they're set to celebrate. Ooops...better line up my co-caterer.

BG gets one from me, and my Mom too. She's always made hearts with her butter cookie recipe and iced them in hot pink with confectioner's sugar glaze. They are, quite simply, to die for. Doesn't matter WHAT the shape is. We make them at Christmas every year and put spinkles on top. Yummmmm It's not exactly romance, but hey...you take joy any way that it comes.

The snow has turned to slush and mud and that's about all I'm going to say because it's a sore subject with me and my driveway. The dirt is flat already....let's get some gravel on that puppy!!! Every parking lot has a giant mound of dirty snow, the remains of one storm right on top of another. I think we're done for now but the deep south is getting their dose. As for the people in Virgina and Maryland, somebody call all their mommas and see if they've got bread and milk.

It's funny to see spring flowers poking through the snow because it just doesn't happen that much here. Usually by February the snow is gone and we're seeing at least one day where you can go outside in shorts. Not this one! My weather forecaster buddies tell me it's El Nina at work and that tornado season will be pushed up to April. Like a more NORMAL weather pattern. Ya'll know I like the seasons to be distinct and on time. Even the sweaty one.

Happy ladies night. Ya'll have one for me ^j^

snow cream for breakfast

I really thought that was came and went yesterday morning was it for the snow. Ha. Here it came again with about five inches last night. Just enough to be pretty and not dangerous. The roommates woke me up early this morning, one getting ready for work and the other doing the snow day dance. And I was dreading working 3-11 this evening. I crawled back into the warm bed to nap until time to get ready and the phone started ringing from work. One our folks called in for tomorrow's shift and I was gonna have to go back in the morning. The last time I worked the evening shift I stayed up until 3AM and it took a week to get over it! Anywho...we worked it all out with a little ingenuity and some flexible scheduling and I'm off today to enjoy one of the rare days at home that me and the BG get to share. She's cooking chili, or as she says "stewing it" and I've dug out both cars and been to the store. The rest is just play time.

Serendipity. I love it when that happens ^j^

before haiti was cool

One of my all time favorite books is "All Over But the Shoutin" by Rick Bragg. I've loaned it to somebody and it never found its' way home evidently. His writing details the joys and trials of growing up southern in a way that not many authors can capture without making us seem a bit touched....which we certainly can be. Most of us aren't hillbillies, but there's a lot of them around and we're all friends and neighbors. I suppose that after reading that book, something inside of me was born that will someday turn into a book of my own. Many southern traditions have gone by the wayside...like high school sororities and gift teas for the bride. The heirlooms don't get dragged out to the table nearly as often as when I was a child. My mom was of an era where ladies were expected to act like ladies and treat each other with respect and love, except for the occasional hair pulling. We went to church and had Easter egg hunts and every holiday was special. I have failed to keep those traditions going for BG, instead trying to learn, along with her, some new ones. That way it's not too hard when the old school stuff disappears completely. And that is coming.

My house is full of odd pieces of antique furniture, inherited from my grandmother and others. There are stacks of linens neatly folded but kinda wrinkled, sitting in wait for the ironing board. The lady that helped raise us used to do the ironing while Mama worked and she would sprinkle them with water out of a coke bottle to make the steam. She also made killer chocolate pies and got exasperated with us farm kids.
Her family is still spread out on the other side of the road, north to the river. Our mayor, so to speak, is Mozella...the only elder left in that family. Her kids are running just like us to make sure her days here are safe and happy. Even though it feels like I'm a personal shopper sometimes, I wouldn't trade this time for a kazillion bucks. I am learning from them how to grow old gracefully and with dignity and gratitude for a blessed life. Those are lessons that money cannot buy.

I visited my friend up the road this morning and her house is a wreck, but almost finished on the remodeling project. BEAUTIFUL. There's something about a tile floor that just makes me want to walk barefoot. We missed the major part of the snow but school was out anyway because, well. You know. It used to irritate the hell out of me when BG was in school because they would always "call it off early" instead of shutting the thing down. That meant scrambling for a baby-sitter in the middle of the day and leaving work to do so. Fun times!

Ya'll keep looking for spring. I know it's out there somewhere.

^j^

angel boy

We don't normally do a lot of outpatient work on weekends because of staffing issues. Usually when the front doorbell rings, it's one of us coming in or going out. This afternoon, right before I left, I spotted two women with a baby come in. Receiving chemo at a regional children's cancer center, he was there to make sure his blood counts don't get too low. His skin was a pale yellow from jaundice but when he grinned that grin it was like sunshine on a rainy day. I really HATE being the one giving the ouchy sometimes! His grandma told me how amazing it is that he's such a loving and happy child, considering what he's been through in one short year of life. I passed them in the waiting room on my way out and grandma waved. He was smooth snuggled up to her chest. That.....made me smile. He's lucky to have her.

There is talk of more wintry stuff tomorrow and I say "whatever." Maybe they'll call and cancel my pap smear so I can stay home all day. Becoming a homebody has been something that some folks have questioned as being having some kind of major depression or something. It's not that at all....I'm depressed when I can't spend enough time here with my family and my dogs. I'm looking forward to yard work with a little help from the roomies now and then. My parents are nearby and that makes a lot of difference in us being able to run in and out on errands for them. Most every day my phone will ring around breakfast time at work and it's Daddy wanting bananas. He might run out, you know? THEN what would he eat?????? BG got a dose of Mel's today with both of them while I was working. We just adore the biscuits at that place.

Things are peaceful for now. Do I hear an amen?

groundhog week

It's been just like in the movie, only an entire seven days. Gray and dreary for the first of the next six weeks of winter. I do feel rather fortunate not to be in the Northeast right now....any damn where. I like a nice pretty little snow that melts in a few days and everybody is able to get a pic of their kid and the snowman. Then I'm ready to plant flowers and bitch about the heat for six months. Yes sir....that's how I roll. Because I can. When you get to be middle aged and under loved like me, it really doesn't matter whether people like you or not. It is what it is. And thank you so very very much Beverly for putting me on the road to that peaceful frame of mind. PS. I still have those 15 extra pounds :)

I'm busy paying bills that have interest tacked on them thanks to my government's return of my tax dollars that they borrowed all year interest free. Everybody else is out buying big screen TVs and computers. I'm paying off the people who have helped me and the BG to survive during this past year. She got her degree after several years of very hard work and has gone head first into the hoops you jump through to deliver care. Kinda like her old mom, but with a lot less money for her effort. The only fear that I ever had about her entering the field was burnout, which is rampant among those trying to serve clients well while they attempt to obey all of big brother's rules. Having a good immediate supervisor helps, and I've been blessed in that respect. We were in the trenches together a long time before that happened, but it's a big positive aspect of an otherwise thankless job.

I went angel shopping in our gift store at the sawmill today looking for just the right figurine to give to Gigi. Besides all the pool action, she has been there for me through the thick and thin of this past year or so and listened to my ramblings and concerns about my parents. Both of hers are gone, and she misses them terribly. Their dog Smokey still roams the neighborhood between the houses of the sisters who helped to care for them until their deaths.

Procrastination has always been an integral part of my nature. Only Big Ernie knows how I've managed to pass multiple inspections at work and keep a household running because I'm just not a detail kind of gal. I'm the one with the "big picture" ideas who throws them out and lets the detail people put them into place. If I had to do that for a living I would slit my wrists. I have, however, made great strides in organizing the household including a clean desk drawer and a filing cabinet that has some sense of order. Yay me! The attic is essentially empty except for BG's childhood stuff and the china that will be passed onto her. I was married back in the day when everybody who knew you and your momma'n'them would send something from the jewelry store. Mine is Noritake...real pretty.

The basement is manageable now, thanks to lots of trips up and down those concrete stairs to burn shit stuff out back. Not to worry about catching the pasture on fire right now! Asparagus season is coming up soon and I've got to clear off last year's ferns since I never got around to the big yearly burn. There's this big old bunch of dirt that we call "the pile" out by the road where the dozer guy left it sitting after he did the driveway last spring. I'm hoping that the Easter bunny will bring somebody to put that crap back in the potholes of my driveway. Maybe there will be some gravel in the summer :)

March madness will soon be upon us but we've got to get past the Superbowl first. That is the one day of the year that I wish I had invested my retirement money in Ro-tel and Velveeta. I could give a rat's ass about football, but NCAA basketball just gets me all excited, sort of like my redneck friend Angelina Ballerina.

Ya'll keep the faith.

^j^

get over it

Two or three of my handful of attempts to sing karaoke have been with "Get Over It" by the Eagles. I must say that I did a good job each and every time because I know it by heart. That song became my anthem for a long while after the album was released because that's just about how I feel about things these days. So you've been hurt...most people have. You deal with the anger, forgive and go on. Life is way too short to be spent carrying around that extra weight called a grudge. As for me, if I feel that someone really needs for me to listen, I'm all ears. There comes a point, though, when listening to someone go over and OVER how they've been done wrong just enables them to stay stuck there. It took me a long time to learn that, especially with men. Bless my little southern girl heart! By the way, the others were songs by Sugarland and Bonnie Raitt.

Yesterday and today have been on-the-run days off from the sawmill, picking up things that we and my parents need and exploring options. I'm dying for spring to arrive so I can take some pictures of something besides melting snow and mud. I was driving down the highway headed home yesterday and spotted a dead animal next to the bridge over the Forked Deer river. It was about Daisy's size and coloring, so I turned around and went back. Yeah, I know...like duh. I'm hoofing it down the highway with trucks whizzing by looking for my long lost beagle. It turned out to be a ginormous rabbit so I'm still believing she's in the kids' lap somewhere.

I'm on for the weekend at the sawmill so ya'll stay well and don't clog up the emergency room any more than necessary.

^j^

the tenant

Our daddy was born during the years of the Great Depression to a sharecropper and his wife, with three sisters who were constantly bossing his ass around. No wonder he's always had a temper! All four kids grew up well and managed to make good lives for themselves. Daddy got lucky after he married my mama because he became the manager of the farm that we call home. Her daddy PaPa hooked him up. By day, for 30 odd years, he pushed pins into maps and chased Japanese beetles and other critters for the USDA. The rest of his 24 hours were consumed with keeping things going around the farm before the days of air-conditioned cabs and four wheelers. The cattle have always been a challenge....lots of work and not much money. Mama told me that she distinctly remembers one spring when he stood by the window in their log cabin and stared at the rain, knowing that the year's crop would be ruined. Invariably, there was the snowy evening when he would have to go help some cow deliver her calf with a chain gripped in his gloved frozen hand. The Forked Deer river flooded EVERY spring and we would drive through muddy water in our old red Chevy station wagon that had a hole rusted out in the back floor. Pretty cool as a kid to see the road racing under you like that!

I left this farm and lived out of the 'burg for awhile when I was going to college, but I ended up right back here after BG got big enough to appreciate farm life. I think she would tell you she's been blessed too. A high five shoutout to Big Ernie for having it all turn out that way. Like all families, we have had trials and running stafford fits slammed doors and whatnot, but we're still together. And still keeping the faith ^j^

hump day

Well, to most folks it is. For me it's kinda sorta like Friday because I'm off for two days and working the weekend. I take Fridays anyway that I can get them, even if they're on Wednesday. Schools will finally be back in session full force tomorrow, but there's more snow on the way so who the heck knows. Not my problem :) I just have to make sure there's enough blood to go around if there's some sort of disaster or even if there's just some elderly person who needs a boost. Five percent of our population donates blood for the other 95%. How's that for beating the odds? I have some pro-bono work to do in that direction over the next week or so, and that's okay. I might as well be typing for work!

The dogs are out in the field digging through snow for half frozen moles and field mice. Daisy is still MIA so I figure she's on the back roads, heading north to Kentucky where her family is. Wouldn't that be a killer ending! Either that or the the one about the little kid loving her with all his or her heart.

Ya'll be careful out there. Some folks are just plum crazy.

And I'm one of 'em.

^j^

pretty girl

the thrill is gone

Okay teachers, enough with the snow day chants already. Looks like another day at home for the kidlets around the burg tomorrow. Today was a "drive carefully" day but most folks were out and at it again. It was magical being held captive for a couple of days, but only because I had some roommates who have just enough kid left in 'em to want to go out and play then make a beer run on the way home. Daddy was bound and determined to make church so we went to Mel's for breakfast afterwards and soaked up the atmosphere.

A friend sent me a message with a link to a possible missing Daisy, so I looked it up and then did a walk through at the humane society. No Daisy. There WAS however, this older settled very sad looking beagle named Lady. Daisy better get her butt back here or she'll be replaced by an older model who is house trained. BG and BF have already told me that Faith is going with them when they move, so Sam will have to have a playmate. Besides, I can't sleep with any less than two dogs.

Conflicting emotions are swirling around in my head these days which results in a lot of silent activity both at work and at home. Mentally, I am preparing for the next step in care for my parents and the departure of the birds from our nest. As any parent can testify, there are pros and cons. I told them when the conversation began that I was okay with their decision as long as they didn't leave me hanging, and they certainly haven't. Both have stepped up to the plate to help me find a comfortable spot, both emotionally and financially. Yea team!!

My roles will be modified in the way that only the passage of time can make happen, and transition is something that I prefer rather than flat out *boom*, it's different. I am blessed to have this time with all of them as we find out what's in the next chapter. I'm hoping, against all odds, that's the one where Sugardaddy shows up and brings some beer and an ability to carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around himself all the time. By the way, I'm free for Valentine's Day and a damn cheap date.

I picked up the pace with my driving today and just about spun out on the lane trying to navigate all the slush. Major thaw, ya'll. It's still on the ground though, and I saw many family snowmen proudly waving at passers by today. That and the puppies at the shelter made me smile even when I felt like crying. Must have been Big Ernie at work again.

^j^