i see you

Lauren and I talked in between door dashes today about a lot of things.  She and I have both been kind of grieving some stuff and it helps to talk about things.  That's how you feel heard.  If someone has lived it with you, they know what you know.  There is a lot to be said for validation like that.

I took a couple of Benadryl and slept with the windows open last night and woke up chilly!  And stopped up!  I will do anything to save money at this point.  With the AC running it's about five bucks a day.  I have been doing the math lately and umm...unless we have a really cool summer I'm screwed.  I went to the 'gentral today to get a few essentials and ran into a friend and former church member.  I watched online today because I'm still reclining for about 12 hours at a time and using ice packs on my jaw.  That and a heating pad do miracles.

Speaking of the Holy Spirit, it sure does move in mysterious ways.  Today is Ascension Sunday at the UMC which is where Jesus actually went to heaven.  Next is Pentecost and y'all surely know that story what with the tongues of fire and all that.  During the pandemic we celebrated that particular day out in the parking lot.  Dakota did a fabulous job with the sound effects which was a whole lot of different languages blended together as one as they got touched by the flame.  I was mesmerized. We had a lot of services like that.  Dogs were welcome to ride on in and Stella went to one with me and Kaykay.  Oscar rode along one week with me and LP.  My kinda' church.

Disciples tend to get creative when times are tough and believers need something to hang onto.  That pandemic started while I was almost dead at Baptist East from abscessed diverticulitis.  For some reason, I survived that.  I reckon it's time for me to find out why.  Or die trying.  I've always been scared of death because I can't imagine not being on this wonderful earth anymore.  Sometimes I doubt my faith because of that fear, but I think it's normal.  Lately a peace has come to me because I know that I have lived a good life and done the next right thing.  I've broken several of the commandments but because of Christ's sacrifice, I am forgiven.  Until you admit it and walk the walk there is no hope, faith or peace.

I am weary with the hatred and violence and blaming.  Inclusion is what Jesus would do.  In parable after parable He reached out to the least of these and provided what was needed.  We should do that, as we can.  Just by doing the next right thing ^j^