blackout

We overslept this morning just a bit so there was no time for breakfast before hitting 412.  Something told me to check the oil and tires before making a trip and sure enough.....it was two quarts low.  The guy at Patterson Brothers was under the hood while me and another woman stood around and all of a sudden he yelled "SNAKE!".  Me and old girl went in opposite directions both of us squealing.  Turns out, it was just a little frog chilling under the hood.  And then, we were on our way to the next experience.

So many people think that recovery is all about the user of whatever is addictive, and in many ways it is.  There are traumas to re-live and in the process allow them to loosen their grip on a soul.  Almost always there is something horrible or maybe multiples of horrible that set a person on the road to addiction.  Add the genetic factor in there plus co-dependency and boom.  During the blackout period the client is isolated from all things familiar and asked   expected to adjust to group living.  There is no contact with family, and for family members to visit they must be actively involved in recovery options of their own that include meetings and group therapy.   Memphis was 80 miles away and I only made one visitation during those six weeks because of the distance.  Jackson is much closer.   It's at times like these that I really miss my ex husband.  Ten years sober when he died, he was a rock both to BG and myself.  Now, that rock is gone but there are others to replace him in the recovery community.

There was rain early morning but the clouds are rolling on out to show blue skies.  There is more asparagus which I will watch like a hawk for the next couple of weeks until it's time to let it fern for the season.  Gotta' let Beverly and Patrick know that this is the weekend for it!  I'm still struggling to get this place in order because both corporate and customers will be headed this way in May.  Having light makes it much easier, if you know what I mean.  This  was the longest darkest winter I remember in years in spite of new windows.

Since the 'gentral is right on the way home from JX I stopped in for the basic necessities and found the line snaking back because of an elderly couple one of whom was quite ornery.  This poor girl in front of me was upset because she was late for work so the guy in front of HER let her move up.  He never recognized me but we went to high school together.  A retired teacher, he had the trunk of his Cadillac full of Mountain Dew beaming neon green in the sun..  No hurry, he said.  Nowhere to be.

I miss my parents still and I suppose it will always be thus and so.  I find myself dredging up little memories like Daddy dancing across 5 aisles at Kroger to meet me at the checkout.  Or Mama and that giggle that only BG could get out of her with a faux British accent.  The stuff is sitting there in the cabin...the legacy of their 60 years in one house.  Soon it will be haggled over and sold for pennies on the dollars that bought it.  I have really old things from the family like my great grandmother's chair and settee made of pine.  Another great's rocking chair is mine per the will and that's about it except for the china cabinet that they paid 5 bucks for and refinished.  Gotta keep that memory alive, you know?

As for me and mine, we shall say the serenity prayer and soldier on.  Hope you have a lovely weekend whatever happens your way.  I'll be here on the hill for some much needed time off.

Rest ~