oh yeah...mercury is in retrograde

I am disgusted on so many levels that I can't begin to tell it and y'all surely don't want to want to hear a rant.  I'm here for entertainment right?  The way I feel right now all I want to do is to retreat into my own little world.  Everything is a hassle and a bunch of drama which is not how I roll.  From healthcare to banking to gas pumps to collections, it's all like a maze to get service.  I arrived at Kroger today at the appointed time and got a call on the way that my order would not be ready until an hour after the specified time.  I told him I didn't want it but then I thought about all the time I put into making that order and called them back ( on hold for 15 minutes) to reschedule the pickup for tomorrow.  I was laser focused on what I needed and didn't feel like walking the COVID aisles.  If it's not ready tomorrow, they can get screwed.  

I figured while I was there I would get gas and that seemed easy enough except I was trying to put in my loyalty number instead my PIN so I got locked out.  I tried it again at the chicken store and fortunately they take checks.  My next mission was to get the bank to unlock my card so I can use it.  Also a fifteen minute wait.  Add to that these muscle spasms in my back from where I fell and it's just about to wear  on my patience. 

This is our world now.  The distribution chain is shattered and it's not all due to COVID.  Take the USPS and its' leadership.  He says he ain't leaving.  Hide and watch dude.  Delayed mail delivery will be a catastrophe for those who are expecting business transactions and are not computer literate or don't even have one.  

I'm off to order Rick Bragg's new book which is already a NYT best seller.  Gotta have something to look forward to!  Pardon the bitchy moody.  This too shall pass ^j^

it's a merkle

I thought for sure the trusty old Dell was deader than Elvis when I left the house this morning.  It absolutely refused to boot up.  I'm sure she's not long for this world, but imagine my surprise when she came to attention this afternoon.  I was really depressed at the idea of not being able to blog, even though it gets  me in deep shit sometimes.  Some stories are not to be shared especially when they affect the lives of others.  

I had a busy weekend and continue to look for opportunities to get out and connect with folks even it's on a golf cart.  A few months ago I hit up a guy at Los Portales who was handing out shirts to his workers and  asked if he had an extra one.  He kindly obliged and come to find out his company is building a state of art pavilion out at paradise.  We visited today and I met his wife.  

I then went on a mission to find  my ex-coworker/neighbor.  We finally found him and had a brief visit.  Great ride on a joyful day!  For now, I'm still here on the web.  I could do just as well writing it all down but my fingers get tired.  I have several things on my agenda including a peek at Mary Gwyn's art class on Saturday and a live Rick Bragg interview via the virtual Southern Festival of Books.  I will be ordering Speckled Beauty as soon as I get paid.  I quickly changed reading gears when I finished #25 of Stephanie and Lula and started on a Robin Cook medical thriller.  Don't judge me.

Peace and Grace to you and yours ^j^

alli want for christmas is dirt

Friends are the family that choose you.  It's not a blood kin thing (except in KY,MO,etc.)  I remember singing that song from GS camp that went something like this...Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.  I stayed 'til dark and managed to not turn into a Punkin, enjoying dinner with friends.  I had never been there before but I'll sure go back.

My weekend project is to flip the garden bed, put the ground cover under it and start the bottom with cardboard.  I'm like a dog with a bone about this.  For Christmas I just want bags of organic humus.  Lowe's delivers.   I am slowly turning into my mother, already planning ahead for Thanksgiving.  Dressing and one casserole already frozen.  Sourdough rolls ordered.  Turkey breast solidly frozen.  I'll let y'all know how it all turns out.  But FIRST we must celebrate the month of October and all the magic it offers.  I spend a lot of time on a deck overlooking a beautiful lake. Occasionally we see fairies that look like lightening bugs in the middle of the afternoon.  

For the 2nd day in a row Kelly got pre-empted by breaking updates on the mass shooting in Collierville,  It is still an active crime scene under investigation.  These things take time, ya know.  What impresses me the most is how all of the law  agencies that showed up and worked together.  If you currently suspect that someone has serious mental problems and has a gun, please report this.  Enough is enough dammit!  

If I had to list events that shook me to my core I could start with MLK and JFK.  Fifty years later, Sandy Hook.  That one shook me the most because they were just babies like Reaves.  Mentally ill? You bet.  But also had Mommy's arsenal of automatic weapons at his disposal and used one of them to kill her first.  Anybody remember his name?  I do.

I plan on a glorious weekend in the yard getting the garden box ready for planting.  I'll have to flip it over a few times and work out the bottom for dirt but it's our second year together so I think we can make it work.

Peace be still ~

 

random acts of evil

There was a mass shooting today at a Kroger in a town about 90 miles from me.  Nice, quaint upscale little town that doesn't have much crime.    When the police chief tells you it's the worst he's seen in 34 years of law enforcement, that says a lot.  Last I heard there was one victim dead as well as the shooter but about a dozen more wounded and hospitalized.  During Covid.  For the life of me I can't grasp the mentality of the ones who have a death wish and want to take innocents with them.  

Meanwhile, at our local river park some guy tried to kidnap a baby from the caregivers.  The guy chased him away and the baby was safe and the police caught him quickly.  Dude was wearing a blonde wig of all things.  It happens every day in every town.  Jesus wept.

There's a hole in my heart today and it's really because I've tried to think about the "what ifs" that could happen to my loved ones.  That's why I listen and read happy shit.  ^j^

don't count your bags until they leak

Even though I've had an ostomy for almost two years, it still freaks me out when I have a leak because I know that means one more expensive bag etc. out of my limited stock.  Insurance pays for 20 bags, wafers and other things for a bag change every 30 days.  I had finally found a getup that worked well for me when lo and behold the supplier had the MOST important item on back order.  It was something new that my nurse friend recommended and was absolutely a saving grace.  They substituted something else of a different depth and it just doesn't work as well which causes my skin to break down.  Not good.

All the shots are called by Medicare and the various insurance companies that provide supplemental coverage.  If a vendor is not in your network but provides better service you're out of luck.  Some people don't even have insurance to cover the costs and end up ordering from Amazon or other places at exorbitant prices.  It shouldn't be this way y'all.  I got a letter from BC/BS last week saying that I would be getting a rebate check by September 30th.  My friend already has hers and mine is somewhere between Samaria Bend and wherever.  Right when I need it most.  

But, on the happy side my babygirl is 37 and living her best life.  I guess we all are.  Just keeping on walking in faith ^j^

just another day

That is how my brother describes his January birthday. I hereby proclaim tomorrow as Elizabeth Reaves Pugh day as she will be four at around 1030 PM by emergency section.  They knocked Lauren out after delivery and I was the first to hold dat baby.  

That was when I fell in love.  It was complicated by I had scheduled my vacation for that week.  When I first walked into the labor room Kimberlie was sitting in a rocking chair looking all in charge.  She went on her way and LP and I spent three long days in the L/D area.  I have to admire them for giving the grandma a place to sleep.  It took us and a village to keep things going that first year.  There's a lot of drama you don't want to hear about but we made it.  Reaves will be 4 tomorrow and Lauren 37 the next day.  Hell I'm already 66 so I'm way ahead of 'em .  I will never forget the joy in holding these two newborns. 

They are my blood just like my brothers and cousins and on and on.  You can't take that away ^j^

the language of letting go

Melody Beattie is one of the first writers who help me understand co-dependency along with John Bradshaw.  It has been a long road from there to here.  If you looked it up in the dictionary, you would see my picture on the wall.  I gave too much to too many while ignoring my own needs.  I've been in love exactly three times in my life and all that is history.  I find myself in the golden years looking for a companion who accepts and loves me for who I am, bag and all.  That's not to say that I haven't been tempted on occasion.  From what i hear marriage is not a deterrent to having a "friend."  But ya know, that's not the way I roll. It's supposed to be forever til we part and all that goes with that.

Lauren and Reaves came to celebrate their birthdays today and we had tons of fun.  Lauren got the new tablet set up so they're all ready to compute.  We sprayed each other and Oscar with Amazing Grace.  He took it well but still stinks to high heaven.  

Y'all be blessed ^j^

things i know

I listen to 92.3 the rock like all day and night so I am well acquainted with all of their advertisers like " That Guy that tricked out my ride "and um....all the others.  They have this really annoying one about getting your penile function back on after fifty.  "It's a game changer!" I first started listening to that station back in the day when Gregg Rivers was the tune master.  I can name you more than one that he set me straight on, including Nazareth.  I heart John Boy, Billy, Jackie, Oliver and that preacher on the frontage road. Full Gospel Holiness by brother Billy Ray.   Some of this might be wrong but it's my story and I'm sticking to it including Axe Ike.  Yo, 911 forall your questions about  relationshipasies.  

The birthday cake is cooling and waiting to be iced.  There are candles and crowns and presents to be enjoyed along with pizza.  I refuse to spend tomorrow listening to Jillian and Addie.  Those girls are strange.  

Happy weekend kiddos.  Love each other ^j^

little miracles

I headed out today on my usual route to paradise and noticed a very distressed looking young lady sitting on the curb.  Her head was down between her knees and she had a clothes basket half full...probably everything she owned.  I drove about two blocks past and something told me to turn around.  I normally keep Narcan in the car or purse so I started digging for it and it was nowhere to be found.  I pulled into the little side street next to where she was and she kind of jerked a little when she heard the car door slam.  Still never looking up.  I crept over and asked her if she was okay.  Yes, was her reply. "Are you sure?"  Yes again, never raising her head or showing her face.  At that point I pulled over on the side street and called 311 for somebody to check on her.  Hell, she may have been gone by the time they got there but I tried.  Got more Narcan coming.  

Joy and I were out cruising paradise on the golf cart when we came across two dogs in the middle of the road, a beautiful black lab and and itty bitty.  Their daddy was hollering from the porch for them to come back so we pulled in and got acquainted with the two dogs.  Little bitty wouldn't go to him so I carried it halfway to his porch and let it go.  I noticed a big happy birthday banner in his yard so I told him HBD as we drove off.  It's a very busy neighborhood with a lot of kids and whatnot in golf carts.  I've learned through experience that pulling to the side when a UPS truck is coming is common road etiquette.  The driver honked at us as he drove by in appreciation. 

I feel so blessed to not be in that mode anywhere that is rush rush rush all the time.  Until I got away from it, I didn't realize how stressed out I really was.  And also, almost dying a couple of times changes your perspective a bit.  Stop and smell the roses.  I have an herb garden right outside the back steps and it delights me every time I walk by.

I have a birthday cake to make tomorrow for my two chickas which shall be devil's food with cream cheese icing.  And candles of course.  Y'all stay between the lines and keep the faith ^j^

let's roll

I have been watching a very well put together series by National Geographic about 9/11.  I'm kind of ADHD so it's hard for me to really sit down and watch something but this?  OMG.  There is live footage of all of it and multiple interviews with survivors and family members.  I didn't realize until watching this that flight 93 was headed to the Capitol.  Four planes on suicide missions in a matter of hours.  We launched a war, persecuted Muslims and ended up pulling out 20 years later.  I don't know about y'all, but I remember seeing the bodies of contractors swinging in the breeze in Fallujah.  I knew right then it would be a nightmare.  It was a knee jerk response with the defense contractors making a kazillion bucks as if it were a game of high stakes poker.  The longer it lasted the more they made.  

One of the things that made a big mark on me is that so many people were coming together to save each other.  There was one guy who told the story of being trapped under rubble with a security guard.  This guy was the larger of the two and pushed the guard out of the hole expecting him to dig him out when he escaped.  Dude watched in disbelief as the guard ran away leaving him trapped.  He told himself that it was now or never and slowly made his way through that hole to safety.  He was bleeding from head to toe from the concrete and rebar abrasions, but he was talking, walking and ALIVE.  While Dubya set his sights on Sadaam and found him cowering, the war ramped up.  Enter President Obama who nabbed Bin Laden.  Yet still, the story never changed until this administration said enough is enough and pulled out.  Our country is literally coming apart at the seams and they had 20 years to get their act together.  If it is to be Sharia law, let them have it.  You can't save the world, even if you are the great USofA.

I had the best birthday week ever with something special every day to remind me that I am loved and appreciated.  If  you missed it I still love you.  I do good to remember my OWN birthday.  I watched church online today and our theme these days is discipleship.  How to be one using your God given talents.  You know like what Jesus would do.  Remember those braclets?

Y'all be well and find inner peace any way you can.  It's the only way to stay sane ^j^

on the eve of 66

I seriously don't know how this happened y'all.  In my mind I'm still 17 with my whole life ahead of me.  I guess it just creeps up on you when you ain't looking.  One thing about getting older that I appreciate is that I treasure the little things more than ever.  Lunch with friends.  A facial wax by Ponder with Chucky laughing in the background.  Hugging Lauren and holding Reaves' hand before we cross the road to the mailbox.  Sparkly little fairies off the deck at paradise.  These are the things that matter.

My brother says that a birthday is "just another day."  I remember seeing him sick as a dog on his 4th or 5th birthday in front of the fireplace and going to the hospital in the snow.  Once upon a time another brother fell out of a tree and then landed head first on asphalt from his bike.  I will never forget the wailing that I heard in the background when I talked with mama from Memphis.  

We all turned out differently, as siblings will.  I never had a sister but I have girl cousins who are like my own.  And so it goes.  My blessings have been abundant of late and for that I am thankful.  It makes an old girl kind of humble and proud at the same time to be loved that much ^j^  

labor day

Time to pack up the seersucker and white shoes kids.  The weather has moderated finally and we got two inches of rain over the weekend.  It will still be November before the corn is gone but that's okay.  It got a late start.

This is my birthday week and the girls came on Saturday bearing gifts including those blowie party things which Reaves insisted on.  She sang the whole HB song to me by herself!  They both have September birthdays one day apart so there will be more celebration around the 21st/22nd.  Reaves was born one hour before Lauren turned 33.  We are a Virgo bunch for sure.  I also share the same birthday with my daughter by another mother, Kimowasi.  

The Dyer County Fair begins today after a year off for COVID.  Honestly, I haven't been to the fair except to work a booth since Lauren was old enough to go on her own.  My parents were fair veterans with Daddy being a former director and on the board for his lifetime.  Many of my childhood memories center around being out there are the old fairgrounds with them.  Daddy would come in late every night after counting the money from the gates.  I worked those very gates for several years while in high school and college.  

The leaves are beginning to fall from the Poplar tree out front, always the first since the cottonwood is gone.  It finally went down and the little hackberry sprig that was growing up next to it is now huge and covered with ivy.  It is bittersweet to be here now as an almost 66 year old who was raised up in this house.  I left for college in 1975 and Tommy immediately claimed my room because he had the little cubby hole that ended up being storage  Now all those bedroom walls are gone and studs are in place.  

If you are working on Labor Day, remember that you are being honored by the rest of us who aren't.  ^j^

the lake fairy tale

We had a happy reunion out at paradise today and it ended up with all of us out on the deck looking at the little sparkly things that show up every afternoon.  They start on the other side of the lake and then cluster up before floatin' to the bank.  I never knew I could miss two people and two dogs so much.  They brought me an Elvis Blue Hawaii shirt.

I've been sitting on the deck listening to the artificial rain that is keeping that corn alive.  There is a chance of rain on Sunday and if that doesn't happen, the bottoms won't make.  Back when I was a kid, it all depended on mother nature.  Only, the old fashioned kind with four seasons.  Climate change has made a big impact on those cycles.  Out of control fires. Multiple chaotic emergencies like floods.  Hurricanes out the wazoo.  Science has proven that WE collectively have done this to Mother Earth.  That's the exact same science that found a vaccine to prevent so many people from dying.  Yet there are many non-believers.  My brother and I were watching for an uptick of Dyer County cases about ten days after the big ball game and by golly, it happened.  68 in one day.

The people who are against all this are less about I don't need it and more about "you can't tell me what to do."  They wear me out.  This is a world health crisis that began in January 2020. I don't care if it got leaked by accident.  We can stay safe with shots, masks and social distancing.

So, dumbass move o'the'day was leaving my phone at paradise so I can't call anybody and bother them.  I guess if there's an emergency I can post it on FB and somebody will call 911.  My front door doesn't lock well unless you slam it and I came home to find that it had been blown open for like, all day.  That was number 3.

That's enough dumbassery for one day.  Y'all play nice.

adventures in wound care

My dumb ass forgot when my doctor's appointment was and showed up yesterday in Ripley.  Oops.  I went back today and he worked on the stoma and dog bite.  Both are better.  I told him if he put that silver on the puncture wound I would probably die so he saved that for the stoma.  It was not nearly as bad as last time and he claimed it was a miracle cure.  My ducks are all in a row with Byram so I was able to make an order for the supplies that I need.  I had lunch with friends today and we lingered long after the food was gone.  That's what a tribe does.  

I have been on a staycation for almost two weeks and have accomplished a few things that required long phone calls. My insurance agent decided to play nice and re-wrote my auto policy at 50 bucks cheaper.  Still looking for a low cost Plan G to pay for the ostomy supplies but making progress.  Baby steps y'all.  God bless you Lert and company.  

I was sittin' on the porch and heard gunshots followed by two wildlife conservation trucks hauling ass down the road.  I have never seen that out here on opening day. 

Y'all be grateful and kind and remember from whence you came.  Love ya....mean it.