honor thy father

I have no idea how I honored my Daddy on his last Father's Day four years ago.  That was the beginning of a string of deaths that knocked us all for a loop.  Aunt Nancy has just recently been buried when we got the news that Pnoler was found dead at his residence. On the day BEFORE father's day.  Lauren was at work when she the call from his phone with someone in the ER telling her that he was gone.  They had plans for lunch the next day.  Instead, we were planning his funeral.  

Within a month my own father was hospitalized for what would be his end of life journey.  He died in early August.  Five months later, Mama was gone.  It was a lot, to say the least.  I was still working at the hospital during all this.  I had just been put on an action plan at work, my first in 40 years.  And yes, I was a hot mess.  That was the beginning of the end for me.  I soldiered on for a few years but in the end I took the damaged shoulder as a sign to leave.  

It is during harvest times like right now that I think of daddy most.  He ate, breathed and lived agriculture.  You know the stories going around now about farmers sadly peering out windows at the rain?  I remember him doing that.  He didn't quite know how to deal with a girl so he left that to Mama. He was a great man who lived his life working hard to support his family and honoring God and country.  Oh.  And the least of these?  He served faithfully.  

He never told me he loved me until the end and then only when I said it first. He never told me he was proud of me, though Mama said he bragged on me all the time.  We found peace with our relationship during the last five years of his life as he became to see me as runner of the ship along with my brother.  He never gave me a whipping which I probably deserved with all the crap I pulled.  I might have been a bit of a quicker learner regarding lessons in life.

I am happy to see fathers of the younger generations taking a more active role in their children's lives.  Ain't nothing like a good solid bond with your daddy that includes not only play but true emotional exchange.  ^j^