the small stuff

I just got off the phone with my mother who wanted to know if it would be too much trouble for me to take lunch Thursday and return her home from hair. Bubba will have the front end just like on Sundays. Who knows when BG is off but the cadi is much more memaw friendly and was in fact given to us for that very purpose. Somehow I think it will all work out since I've scooped up her out of that Steel Magnolias beauty parlor for years with Glenda and Angel standing by. Oh, and Ms Barbara!

I got out and about in the Four Points area today and stopped by the diner with pool tables out back where Mary Lou used to serve the lunch crowd. Let's just say, call ahead. I played Trivia while the cook did her thing and headed on over to Gigi's house for a visit while I ate. She was ass deep in files from her business and is moving soon so there's a whole lotta' sorting going on. I sat with my back on Wayne's knees and inspected his poor little noggin where melanomas have been removed. More sun damage, especially on a bald guy. I told them about my actinic keratosis deal and we all agreed that the old timers wore long sleeves and hats for a reason. Just my luck...I'm moving to Florida and can't lay out.

Always the inquisitive rebel I'm looking quite closely at the Green Party candidate Jill Stein. If Senator Warren can convince the banks that they're not going to get another bailout and a healthcare environmentalist can make some noise, we might have a chance. Otherwise it's just more GOP bullshit. This Indiana thing is absurd. Ditto for Israel. We are not the world leader we once claimed to be but a country dependent on foreign trade agreements for survival. Our leadership has failed on many different levels and it's always partisan bickering and back biting that get attention. This time it's different y'all. Hide and watch.

Lily the kitty has sneaked her way up under the desk quietly so I guess she's hungry. And so are the dogs I bet. The official head count remains at 10 as of yesterday afternoon. Please call your local fosters and give them my number or else bring big bags of food. My address changed last year when corporate decided to (rightfully so) rename the little road formerly known as Council for the old horseman. This went to voter reg/911/everybody else official including the USPS. None of these folks had a problem with it but mapping systems are like "what?" Anyway, pizza guy is eternally lost on the way to my house.

Hosanna ^j^

chemical drift

That pretty green wheat I was enjoying just got a dose of fungicide and something or another which totally disrupted my day. According to Lorna it's a common courtesy for farmers to share with residents what days they are spraying up close to the homestead. I am surrounded folks. However it's warm and everything is blooming so I'll take it. Today was a Monday following a three night snoozefest with the dogs. Age is creeping up on me in spite of (sometimes)brave attempts to carry on like a mad woman. BTW, pesticides cause Alzheimer's and I'm gonna sue Monsanto. Any wildly liberal pro-bono lawyers out there? Case of a lifetime dude. Even the dogs are sneezing. God bless those puppies out there under the barn!

I get a bonus day off tomorrow which is nice because there haven't been many lately. As I was shuffling through the mandatory audit I noticed that more and more "others" are getting involved and trimming down the wait time. One nurse is working double duty between her former department and a new position. That, my friends, is teamwork. As I was signing out I noticed the signature of one of the last of the great MedSouth group. Dr A is still kicking along with DB over across the street. I'm thinking my next job won't involve spending 38 years in a rabid fight over turf for feeders. I will never forget how the highly political church of which I am a member sold me out to the highest bidder when their "mission statement" changed to transplant center. Yeah...you. My pension from them is with Wells Fargo so we'll see how long that lasts.

The whole thing began with a sale by the county of Dyer who couldn't begin to manage a hospital what with all the good old boy governance. Most of the employees supported Baptist Healthcare and that included physicians. Dyersburg was the one link missing in the Obion to Shelby run for both systems. MHS bid 10M over what Baptist was willing to pay and the rest is history. They kind of carried us until the livers and hearts got going downtown and then cut us loose. I'm not bitter, just realistic.

My friends Scotty and Janet are headed out to a new life at least for a week. We told him to be sure and ask the pilot for a med list. He is SO gonna' cry when he sees my present. My sick elder buddy is still sick and waiting for all the i's to be dotted so she can go somewhere to rest which is definitely something that doesn't happen in a hospital.

I'm headed to the barn to look for puppies. If I don't make it back call 911 ^j^

damn skippy

My favorite character in the Stephanie Plum books is none other than Lula herself, she of spandex glory and a large appetite. It is through that series that I came to understand Stephanie's addiction to Tasty Kakes which the dolla' gentral started carrying when Hostess shut down. Now? I can't find them anywhere. I've already had my outing of the day which included a DG run as soon as they opened. Bedtime has been early lately, even before sundown. My body is still on winter time.

I sit here tapping away, only the second Sunday that I've missed eggs and doughnuts since Lori started. Daddy has new pants and Mom has more than she will ever wear so they just need some help getting their act together and making the earrings match. Plus she takes them giving brother and I Sunday mornings off. Win-win, if you ask me. Our traditional after church breakfasts have been all over the Dyersburg map. We started at Mel's Diner a little hole in the wall where the waitress just wanted a job where she could go to church. And you know what? That Easter Sunday Mel's shut down on Sundays forevermore. How's that for a miracle?

We also went through a Perkins phase where the tables were usually sticky but the food and people magnificent. I noticed in today's news that law enforcement is using the old hotel for emergency response training before it's torn down. Great idea! BG used to work the desk there and told me about duck hunters who stayed and actually cleaned their birds in the bathtubs causing major sewage problems. It was owned by a former co-worker who now makes his living doing plastic surgery. Go figure that one. How fitting that the new builders will be a CVS.

I actually SAW puppies yesterday moving around in the dark with the assistance of my handy dandy badass phone that is hopelessly cracked and not paid for. There is indeed a gray and white one and lord knows how many black ones. Pretty soon those 50 pound bags of dog food will last less than a week. I haven't heard if Sally has had her border collie babies but it's close to time. Hers are sold, while mine will be posted on every cute little puppy site I can Google. Hell I might even take them up to the gas and chicken store in the back of a pickup. It happens right there in South D'burg. As for me, I'm doing chair yoga and interpretive dance and listening to boy singing of the Mark Ronson and Maroon variety.

Like we say to the dogs "Y'all go outside and play it's PRETTTTTYYYY"

customer ready

I hate the mall and hate to shop which is why I never have anything but scrubs to wear. Mama is an armchair shopper who has bought and returned more than I've ever even purchased. Last week on my day off Daddy asked me to take him to get pants for him and pajamas for her. Tippi took him instead and helped pick stuff out. Now, I know my mother like a book and I knew from the get go those pjs would have to be returned. Indeed, and her big idea was for me to hit JCPenney at door opening block buster savings time and exchange the jammies for Dockers. She's already ordered her pajamas by phone. Oh.My.Lord. I got there before they opened and notice a couple of gangstas' hanging out nearby in what was obviously a pimped up car. I locked the door, btw. There was nothing in there worth stealing except for my badass camera and that just wouldn't be a good thing to have it stolen right at the peak of spring.

I heard through the pipeline that my brother is about to be back on the air doing what he does best...being a weatherman in a different location. Some dreams just never die. I remember him as a kid with all his weather equipment and scanners being the keeper of his world and ours. He would rewire shit where something different would come on when the switch was pushed! While I was waiting for the mall to open I cruised over to where other brother works and got some gas. We chatted through the plexiglass window and carried on with our day...he at work and me running errands.

The wheat is a gorgeous backdrop to spring flowers and also looks pretty good to all the dogs. Chester and his red friend have been over today but still no puppies out and about. Ryder sleeps a lot when she escapes into our house away from those little cries. At times like these when the pure goodness and beauty of life pour out on me and give me strength I remember why I became a Christian. I was raised that way, of course, at the UMC on Main and McGaughey. Somewhere along that road to Emmaus it became real to me that the good news Jesus was sent to bring was all about love and tolerance and faith. Yet we deny belief in a loving God every single time we attack someone else for their religious beliefs. My personal belief is the Jesus was perfect and got treated like crap. He did miracles and showed everybody how to have fun and then an angry mob turned him over due to political pressure. Sound familiar?

We are in forward motion and that is a very good thing. It beats the hell out of re-living the past. Some artisan or another is at work in the to-die-for house which may be cabinet guy. It's gonna be a pure work of art when it's done, I'm saying. SD? Where you at?????

in a nutshell

Boy was I happy to get done with today's after work chores like getting a yearly gyno exam with my homies. They have a new building and the flow is better now. *snort* The receptionist played with the one baby present and I played Trivia Crack with Bekah only she was at home. Ah! The wonders of technology are many. It's better than having to carry a book around. I looked around at all the ready to burst preggos and remembered being that way myself 31 years ago. According to the biopsy I wasn't ovulating but six weeks later BG was on the way. There was no POC pregnancy testing then, only a blood one that took forever to run but was way easier than waiting for the rabbit to die. Gawd, I feel old.

Still no puppy sightings but I did find a couple of shoots in the asparagus bed so spring is coming just not this weekend. The bales are still getting hot and ready for planting during my vacay week. I'd rather go to the beach with Sugardaddy but that doesn't seem quite possible. Who knows? Miracles happen every day. Meanwhile, I'll keep the day job and play online like the hermit I am.

I'm creating a haven in my room which has been a royal disaster of Titanic proportions since um...about two years ago. I'm still sorting in the other rooms and cleaning floors in preparation for corporate's yearly visit. If I had paint I would spruce things up but well, you know. Meanwhile the dining room door is propped shut with an end table.

If there is one lesson to be learned with the mass killings of late it is this fact: Mental illness cannot be ignored. It is what it is and the system has a hard time keeping track of who's on what med and showing up to work after tearing up doctor's notes. Who gives an honest to goodness mental patient an excuse for work? In the freaking cockpit of a commercial jet? I see a pattern here that has been masterminded by self absorbed individuals like the Batman shooter with red hair. Or the one who killed all those kids and teachers, what's his name. The saddest thing of all about that one is that he got his weapons from his own mother's home.

I played cowboys and indians as a kid too so I realize that sometimes it seems like a game but the technology available now to all the whackos is just astounding. I got a friend request the other day from some guy that I feel sure was sitting at the cafe in Russia thinking I'm stupid. I may be a hot mess sometimes but I've never been stupid. Mr. Bruce said I was a genius and that's what counts. That plus I love kids and animals. And old people, oh how I love them. Looking back I see that every elderly person whom I befriended in the course of my job has prepared me for the death of my own parents. There was Miss Olive from England who regularly smoked ciggies and had three beers during cocktail hour. Me and work guy went to see her at the nursing home before she passed. I wanted to be at her service but it was private just for she and her hubby.

Seeing the anguish and suffering of so many families over the years leaves a mark no matter who you are or who your employer is. Some of us have been blessed beyond belief and failed to share in a Big Ernie kind of way. Jesus didn't ask for a lot of money, just belief in miracles. CAE is the most horrible troll EVER and never fails to jump on my cousin's dem~lib posts with all her Christian judgement. Remember the two political groups that were responsible for his death? *hint*hint* The Lenten season is headed toward Holy week. This Sunday little children all over the globe will wave palm branches in anticipation of the big Easter extravaganza where all the kids get new clothes and colored chickens that die. Hat tip to JenniferJ on that. Over and out from the lane. Try not to murder the Easter bunny on y'alls way home.

from the heart

One of my all time favorite patients is with us again. We first met when her husband was dying and she told me she was JRD's mama, one of the hot hippie drummers in our high school band. Rumor had it that he stole my tape player but he says no! Anyway, we reunited as adults and carried on an intermittent friendship. He is a traveling salesman who looks ready to settle down and quit chasing the highway. A great GF and sick mom are reasons to stay close to the 'burg. He hates Obama more than most anybody I know and started on that Hitler crap before the last election until I just had to look the other way. There's a difference between poking fun and being a troll. I expect friends to respect my boundaries on that issue and religion.

It's cold and rainy again but we didn't get any tornadoes so that's a blessing. Tulsa was not so lucky. Oh, and now they say the co-pilot had "malicious intent". Normal breathing while he locked out the captain and crashed the plane. WTF? Jesus, it's like the total opposite of Left Behind. I guess even trained pilots can be bi-polar and have a death wish. Those poor people...sigh. Coming so soon behind the museum massacre I have to admit this shakes me to the core. I find it particularly ironic that post 9/11 security measures that allow no entrance from outside the pit are what did this bunch in. This jihad has been building for many years and the old profile of bearded militant middle easterners doesn't quite fit. People who are younger that my daughter are saying eff' it and joining the holy war.

Tomorrow is be good to me day with appointments scheduled for both mammo and pap. Next will be a trip to the dentist and after that glasses. I have put these things on the back burner due to time constraints and the always short supply of money. Plus, it's a chore. My eyesight is fairly good with reading glasses but it freaks me out to drive at night and stuff like that. Ryder and the others are chillin' on my bed while the puppies play or do whatever they do. Their eyes are open now and they are attempting to climb out of the hole. Another week and they'll be venturing out I believe.

I cry a little bit each day now, I suppose because I've finally slowed down enough to let the grief loose bit by bit. It's a cycle, life is. We dream and build and love and lose yet we do it anyway. Because you love who you love~John Mayer

follow that star

Damn you trivia crack! I have finally found game that's based on knowledge AND luck which is something that comes in handy for team building. Sometimes I think about who would be my ideal posse for survival. Definitely Shannon would be on it because she don't take no shit evah'. Then there would be Mahala who is already a survivalist over there in the holler and her friend Biff who has an unnamed position involving entertainment. Lorna would be there growing all our food in straw bales organically sound and free of pesticides and herbicides. I mean when a one dollar bottle of vinegar will do it, why bring out the Roundup?

So um, Ted Cruz has to sign up for Obamacare and this of course the fault of our POTUS, you see. That the government pays for their coverage if they disclose it is something voters should watch closely. The same should be said about big petroleum and such. These people do not have our best interests at heart y'all. It's like we're all caught up in this little rat maze of industrialized devotion to productivity as a goal for destroying the earth. Enough dammit! I'll probably get fired because I posted a piece on FB today from Slate which slammed hospitals as being the cause of our healthcare dilemma. NOT insurance or pharm, mind you. Hospitals can only do so much with a broken system. Those of us who work there do it because we enjoy being in relationship with those who are sick even when they spit on us and punch our lights out. Healthcare is an INDUSTRY just like all the others. The difference, as with all jobs, is that when our consumers come to us they are sick. Scooped up by EMS and transported to a badly abused ER to wait for a treatment plan. I can't tell you how many times over the years I've entered a room where the entire family plus Aunt Moses' cousin is hovered over grandma all frantic because she's 85 and dying. I will not be that lady. My daughter the BSW knows how I want to spend my last days and it sure ain't in a hospital. That's some great karma, don't you think? By then I'll probably be in the Keys if they don't break off and float to Cuba. Hell we could always build a boat.

So back to the dream team. I'd want my cousin Mark Agee simply because he's the ultimate left wing Christian and uses that mindset in the legal decisions that he hands down, I feel sure. Jesus would like that, especially during this Lenten season. I would also want other Mark just because he's a good hugger and has always had my back. Amy would be my lifecoach and Gay there for MFR. Joe and Drew and JenBWag always. I can't name everybody because I have sometimers. Speaking of which, there's a new ultrasound technique that breaks up amyloid plaque in mice that could totally cure it. The FDA could speed that up a bit if they wanted to, by the way.

My brothers have lived this farm with me and chosen different paths. Soon I will be faced with the same decision and something in me says that when my parents are gone, it won't be a long drawn out decision for us. There's already an exit strategy if you know what I mean. Meanwhile I am multitasking by blogging, playing Trivia and listening to music. I'm glad I lived long enough to enjoy all this. No wonder corporate says no electronics in the workplace.

It's a good damn thing I didn't put anything in the ground because there's a cold snap coming Saturday. After what we've experienced in the winter of 2015, I'll just sleep in and piddle until the sun comes out again and the puppies can crawl out of that hole.

Which will be soon ^j^

echoes of the past

I have always believed that Mrs. Council's ghost is with me because of the yard full of flowers she left for me to enjoy. I added to her collections from the yards of everybody and their cousin so that there's something blooming all the time. Once a Stepfordesque wife who made the hubby haul dirt and help plant annuals, I soon learned that perennial is the way to go. There is nothing more beautiful than a free form landscape with a little bit of everything in view. Right now I have blooming forsythia and whatever those little white flowers are. I think ice got the quince buds because it's already leafed out. Lots of buttercups and more on the way. The day of the first asparagus spear you'll hear me scream from pecan lane.

The puppies are still snuggled in the dirt and won't be out for at least another week or so no matter how many times I go out there in the horse poop with a flashlight. So, I think I'll pass because the warm days invite mr. snake to be out and about. He better not bother those babies or Ryder will tear his head off.

Another plane crash but no ISIS or credible Republicans so there's that to enjoy about a slow news day. The most significant piece that I read today was about Roundup as a carcinogen and when you consider how many brazillion gallons of that gets sprayed, it's a wonder anybody is still living. That is why there are cancer clusters in areas that are heavily farmed. Monsanto is the devil when it comes to organic farming. While I understand that it's imperative to keep beetles off the cotton and out of the beans maybe we should consider the commodity being grown. Crops grown for human food are much helpful and would fetch a much higher price but one that people would pay. That is, after the EBT/minimum wage thing is addressed. See...I've always been a dreamer and won't stop now. Teach a woman to farm and she'll eat forever.

Once my husband heard this huge racket up in our attic in the middle of the night and went stumbling up there with a damned rifle to protect our little fam. It was probably a squirrel..or maybe Mrs. Council digging through her past. He was a famous horseman and lived here alone for ten years after her death. Can you say "filthy?". Oh my gawd..it took six months to clean it out. There was paint and wallpaper and daddy and me had a ball. He would spend long winter days up here while I was at work and I'd drop by at lunch for a look see. BG was a toddler so she spent a lot of time with them after they retired. Where has the time gone?

It went is all I can say, and most of it I have enjoyed. That's not to say that there haven't been hills and valleys but for the most part I've been blessed. During the time when I was most pitiful several friends told me in no uncertain terms that I was "losing it" and to get a grip. And you know what? They were right and true friends to tell me that because I was. When you truly care for someone outside of what they can do for you, it is genuine and requires courage.

Time to get off on the colors. There will be pictures at 11 ^j^

positively yours

Negativity has a way of rendering people helpless because they take a "woe is me" mentality and spread it around like the opposite of honey. We all know the type(s) who could look at the world on a string and bitch about the string color. I think it's a whole big mashup of childhood experience and expectations of adulthood. Truly? It's tough and there was a time when I couldn't wait to be legal and buy beer with pizza. What has transpired between then and now is a whole lot of stories woven like a tapestry and together? They are my life. Nobody can take that away from me even if I don't follow somebody's rules. It is between me and my God to decide if I'm using my talents wisely. Not to say that I don't have whiny momentsdays and cry like a girl because "i'm tired". That is something that I inherited directly from my dear mother and have passed onto my own dolla' gentral daughter. Life is NOT always fair and that sucks but what are you gonna' do? Wasting precious time dragging others down is what the devil loves to see happening. Divide and conquer you know? Get thee away from me!

Ryder is fattening up because she eats ten times a day which is what you have to do with a litter growing under the barn. She is calmer now and adjusting to the new family, gently including aunt Sophie. The boys get livid when Chester shows up and won't let him within a half mile of the barn. They are a protective pack, to say the least. Hatchet man will NEVER get me without bark warning.

Mom and daddy went to church together yesterday for the first time in months and months and it was a huge ordeal for all involved, but worth it. I figure she'll pass until Easter. Lori matched up her earrings on the fly and promised to pick out an outfit for next time. Her hair was done, not that church makes a difference because that happens every week on Thursday, weather dependent of course. Daddy goes to see Doyle now and then but not often enough. I saw pictures of my Aunt grannny and her kids today and shamed myself for not walking across the parking lot more often.

the budget is right so I'm not going to be able to afford many more straw bales and will have to produce with what I've got perched out back. The herbs are potted and seeds started in flats in the kitchen. All we need is sun, and that's exactly what today looks like. Y'all enjoy the day ^j^

turn up!

That's what I resort to because of the dying motor in this ancient mother effin' Dell I inherited from my Mama. Plus there's always noise and I do indeed like to zone out. As it turns out, the problems with blogging that I've experienced lately have had somewhat something to do with Chrome so I was forced to rethink my old friend FF. It's so funny to watch their little 'bot tactics what with bumping the new guy off the start menu. I will be REAL pissed at you Google. Work with us aging hippies on this umkay? You have your market share already so why not give everybody a choice? That's why there's vanilla and chocolate.

I got Booger sugar last night and again today and could tell real quick that my sixty year old self had not carried him in a LOOOONNNGG time. I'm talking like lead, on a bad hip. He charmed Kay and was shy with Scotty, typical Babyman. He can say grandmaw now and TeeTee. Happiest little shit you ever saw until he gets pissed and then watch out y'all. He's already gotten two grammys from me just this year for best performance on the kitchen floor.

Still no puppies visible and (un)faithful old Chester trotted by to check on the kids yesterday. His mom said when he went missing they figured he was at my house. That's what is so cool about a neighborhood where you actually know people and can IM them with a pet sighting. It takes a village you know. BG said one of the puppies she saw looked gray and white which would have to be the Luke in her. That dane was the biggest strongest dog I have ever personally known and the dogcatcher lady put him in the cab with HER for the shelter trip. They bailed him out several times and he eventually went away after his owner had been gone for awhile. The son of that lady still terrorizes everybody up and down Samaria Bend squealing tires and laying rubber. Dickhead, for sure. Luke was the one who got Faith, at the ripe old age of 10, pregnant with Ryder and her siblings. From that came Sophie and here we are with another litter.

I'm feeling stronger now, still tired but resigned to the fact that it's been a long road so far and most of the energy I've expended trying to change the world has happened in tiny moments where I stopped to smell the roses and simply be, whether alone or in relationship with someone. Thirty years of therapy have taught me what a glorious gift boundaries can be. Lorna and I are on the same mission which consists of thinning down the piles and condensing our "collections". Just like with money, you can't take it with you.

The rebel soul is not about being negative but realistic about the possibilities for change. Not just for those with money but REAL social change where the Kochs are handing out groceries in the slums and somebody besides Gates shares the wealth of his good fortune with others. Ted Cruz is an idiot and I know exactly what type will support him. I'm not so sure that's what the party wants right now dude Progressive is the new cool, remember? So yeah..I'm a smartass. Sometimes when people act out and show their asses I think to myself "i hate people" knowing that I don't, it's just the way they get all self absorbed and whatnot. Get over your bad self and put on some bigger drawers.

I'm casting an eye toward local politics as well since the great state of Tennessee is very red in more ways than you can imagine. Which brings me to Corker. And Jerry Brown. At 76 Brown says he thinks his age would hurt him but hmmmm. He has always been a fierce environmentalist and rightfully so because look what's happening with the drought. Nestle is stealing all the water for their plastic bottles!

Here is what I have to say to all you haters of the demolibtard progressive movement that I claim. The two party system began as a good point of compromise for a struggling country that needed representation but it's gotten way out of hand. See: Dodd Frank. Unless we all step away from the table and admit that government is imperfect because of the money involved with lobbying it's a moot point for whom we vote. Campaign spending should be totally transparent and not subject to MSM examination for wrong doing which slings mud on the opposing party.

We hold these truths to be self evident. That is a powerful statement of belief made by people who honestly wanted freedom from royal tyranny. According to history this initial bunch met and made friends with the natives but it pretty much stopped after that big feast. The US out to expand and so they did, all over the damn place and native inhabitants were displaced along that blazed trail. Japanese families were held in prison camps and black men hung from trees in the South with men in white hoods glaring proudly. I'm glad I wasn't around for all that drama because I'd have been dead from the get go. Shot at Kent State, most likely.

I'm a worrier sometimes but not until I get a shoutout from somebody like Mahala whose Ma is in the hospital (again) and I can so relate. My own mama made it church this morning thanks to Lori and Forked Deer electric who got the power back on before they left for the corner of Main and McGaughey. She was crying yesterday so I'm gonna' give her some space. I'm off tomorrow so don't call me until you want to play Trivia Crack. Then it's on!

chapter next

When Jen and I first met she wrote very long and rambling posts from a pit of depression that grabbed me quick. It was, after all, the beginning of weblogs as personal history. Her parents lived in Kentucky and she was on the road regularly from NC spending time with them, more so when her father became ill. I can't recall his name but I know in my heart that she was a Daddy's girl from the get go. He was a teacher, much revered by an entire community of learners. She has two children and a cute as hell husband plus grandbabies and a kickass job with the Alzheimer's Association in West Virginia where she now lives with whatshis'name and Jake. She is my fairy blogmother in every sense of the word. Love ya...mean it.

Just checked in with the grands and she sounded sniffly then went into full fledged pitiful because he's pacing the house "waiting" for golf. Oh.My.Gawd. We need more than Seroquel! Cannabis oil would be nice but it's illegal, you know. Big pharm might miss a buck if we went natural. As a nation we are zombified with drugs often overlooking natural solutions to good health. I took my first SRUI way after I needed it the worst and have been a slave ever since on the Kroger four dolla' list, no less. HOWEVER...there is good news. My derm team has managed to kick the fungus right off of my feet so that perhaps I'll have toenails by summer. So I can paint them and all for when Sugardaddy comes around.

It's sawmill weekend for me and a welcome break from yesterday, thankyouverymuch. My friend who's about to get married in another freakin' country was there and cut me loose. I love it when we have each others' backs like that. Everybody's just ready for spring, by golly. The quince has faint pink buds and there are now visible yellow patches of jonquils plus rosemary and basil and oregano still alive. I started some trail of tears in little cardboard dollar store flats which should get me through 'til I can afford more straw. Compost, I got plenty of in ye old barn out back with puppies under the floor. Chester's litter still doesn't have a reliable head count because it's dark under the barn and all. I seriously wish we could do a live rescue for some reality show.

Faith~

all in a day's work

It was raining this morning and I sure didn't want to roll out of the warm doggie bed in the dark but I did it anyway. It's eerie that time of morning with nobody out except service workers like us and of course gas and chicken stores. I walked into the perfect storm of something that is a case study in what I love today. During the course of it, I spoke with team members who have come to respect me as pretty good in that area and they honestly listened. It's the kind of work experience that makes you want to go out and do the whole thing again tomorrow if the occasion arises, and it surely will. To all involved with that save, thanks. So often in healthcare the physicians are treated as untouchable and act like divas. That doesn't fly around our sawmill. It's everybody's job to check and coach and generally be accountable to each other all the while realizing that mistakes happen. Admitting that is the first step toward fixing them, ya know?

I managed to spread some compost yesterday prior to the rain and the sun will be out next week to heat it up. I see some great gardening coming on at Casa Poops and lovely spring flowers until it turns into a humidity fest that normally begins mid-May and runs until the dog days of summer. Hey...it's fairly moderate except for global warming and sometimes we get ice storms and floods and tornadoes. Other than that it's lovely! The yard is in full mud and Ryder still can't decide what to do with those puppies under the barn so she's in and out at all hours banging on the doors like she needs a valium or something. No, Sam is the one who needs a downer because he's always licking the sheets. You can't make this shit up.

I pulled out a card that BF sent me that says KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. It's sparkly and happy and a reminder that somebody always loves me for I am, no strings attached. If I knew where she lived I'd send her a puppy! The kindness that has been showered on me via the internet community is something quite unique to "our generation" (talking'bout'my). We have grown up during a period of time when we were born to survivors of the Great Depression like my father. Had it not been for sheer determination to have something better for himself he could have been just another victim of post-depression ravaging. Like now for instance. Student loan debt accumulated during the past ten or so years has turned out lots and lots of degreed individuals into a barren wasteland of unemployment. Post '08 fallout haunts us still. And wonder where Jamie D and all them effers are now? Probably on a tropical island with private massages on our retirement dime.

ISIS and Israel? We have enough issues here in the states without trying to solve age old problems halfway across the world. Living in that area at this point in time is extremely dangerous for peaceful worshipers. And I'm not sorry the drone killed that guy. Not.My.Circus. I did not vote for this nonsense of global warfare and most other people would not have had they known that all these years later it would still be raging. Like I noted when the first contractor swung over the bridge in Fallujah. Time to go y'all. There was an extreme motive of profit up in that deal related to Halliburton but that's neither here nor there as my mama would say. It is what it was and what it is now and we just have to soldier on and keep on thinking positive shit thoughts.

the big tease

Breaking new alert: It's still winter until the solar eclipse but we are definitely closer to an end to frost damage. I only wish how I could explain how my body aches to just grow something...anything! I have never had the sticktoitness to see a successful crop in my life because I always think of it as the work that my daddy put into his. We ate well for many years off the fruits of his labor. I remembered this afternoon how my brother and his wife gave a kid an FFA jacket for daddy's gift one Christmas. Everything I know and love about agriculture has been learned in a bi-polar kind of way living in the land of traditional row cropping via Monsanto vs organic. Drift from the spray just about killed my flowers and trees last year. On a hill, remember? That shit hangs in the air like radon. Anyway I may have to cover the straw garden with some bubble wrap or something. It.Will.Happen.

BG is working a lot of nights and I'm up with the chickens so we're not so sick of each other as before which is always good. She cooks and cleans and I sort of try to not feel 60 and Sugardaddyless. She drives that Cadillac to Four Points and scans her little heart out. We had a staff meeting yesterday which went well and gave me some extra time so I'm happy. Poor Brody and all the other spring break kids hung out and tried to get along. Grandma gave them the look and they settled right on down. Well, for awhile.

Mom is all a'twitter because at 84 and 82 they are without a doctor. Thank the Lord Dr. Algee is still practicing with his old time partner Dr. Haynes. When they go, I don't know what we'll all do. I saw something today about my mentor Dr. Noonan and missed him for the first time in a long time. Dude never stopped learning and teaching until the day he died, and I still wouldn't be surprised to see him round the corner with a copied journal article delivered personally. We were talking about MT school today at work which was right smack in the hotbed of 1970s healthcare in Memphis. City of Memphis Hospital. Baptist. Methodist. UT Medical Center. VA. Elvis autopsy, by gawd!

For the first time in forever I have messages and calls from people outside of "we need cat food" and other important things. And that makes me smile really big just when I need it. I had a long talk with an old friend today and was able to clear a lot of heavy stuff out of my soul. Never underestimate the power of someone having been there/done that with you at some point. It's good therapy, I don't care who you are. We spend so much time and energy pretending that bad things don't happen when indeed they do and whomever you were chosen to spend that time with is an act of Big Ernie at work in the cosmos. To me having faith means realizing that plus much more like helping those less fortunate. And old people and animals. I'm not talking entitlements, either...just something besides a handful of rich people who have made their fortunes off the backs of middle class America get OFF the bucks. You can't take it with you assholes!

The natives are restless all over and ISIS is busy terrorizing as usual. If these folks were true Muslims they would be looking for peace not trying to run the world. They are ex-pats of many different countries, including our own, who think they're playing a video game where somebody wins it all in the end. In truth, what will happen is total destruction of the whole deal unless somebody quits threatening the rest of the world. I just talked to the grands and they're on an outing with their driver to get hair did and buy khakis. Tippy will help Daddy with the shopping while mom is under the dryer. I'm in charge of meds and doctors and the dosage has been kicked up a bit for him which sounds like a plan to me. We had to jump through the hoops of that neuro consult just to get that. Their new doc is the one that found mom's carotid artery blockage. She got her neck slit BAD! She was overweight most of her life which is a family trait. I seem to have found my comfy weight where I can eat what I want and not gain. Finally!!! When I graduated from college I weighed what I weighed 9 months pregnant with BG.

It's my only day off so there's some serious piddling to be done. We're cooking a pork loin with sweet mustard sauce slow and low on a gray and rainy day. She's watching Cupcake Wars and I'm tapping on the keyboard. Ryder is out several times a day now but we still haven't seen the puppies. We got Pepper from that friend who lent me her ear, and he was the best ever until the next one(s) came along. We'll be looking for homes in about a month so if you see my number on your phone, help a girl out. And yes, there will be pictures.

Peace~

bullet points

Ryder update: Out and about on this nice sunny day and not covered in mud. The Camry was stuck in the yard with 50 pounds of feed so I ran out there this afternoon and slapped a flattened box under the offending tire. Who needs a man!

Cracked: I've had my shiny red badass phone for a year and it's not even paid for and I've dropped if at least a hundred times. Today it broke so it has that look, well...you know the one. BG's looked like that for the last year until it got stolen at the shady "gentral. I'd love a note but dayum. Having another income will be good for our bottom line and allow us to focus on an exit strategy. Because as we all know, if you don't own you can't defend. The house down the road should be just about ready for an April rentee so there's neighbors to look forward to. I hope they like dogs. Crazy dude had pit bulls in pens outside his creepy castle.

Grands: No drama is always good. The news is on so I can't call unless I want to hear bitching and crying so I think I'll pass. For the life of me I can't understand why they don't just get along. After 61 years of wedded bliss it could be so easy, but nobody ever wants to let go. I can testify to that one as a smartass demolibtard southern farmer's daughter. Here I sit in the middle of the biggest bunch of Southern rednecks ever and I'm rooting for Bernie and EW? Hillary Clinton is a very smart lawyer who got drug through the mud because of many things, like her husband's sensationalized infidelity and Benghazi. The election is still two years out and I'm gonna make this vote count. Then there was that big scandal in Arkansas while he was governor? That shit is history and what is happening in our country right now is a bunch of right wing bullies being asshats because they can.

Sunshine! Lots of it y'all and warm temps and no rain and bags of compost and rosemary and basil plus pansies. Birds are singing and life seems good for the first time in a very LONG time. My lifecoach taught me the wisdom of Vitamin D in March to ease the transition into harsh light. I just ordered my first application of a topical chemo for actinic keratosis which is a precursor to squamous cell carcinoma of the skin. Long story short? Sun damage. I hate to admit it but I spent about 50 years basking in the sun and beds not realizing what I was doing to my skin. The damage is real and permanent. Think spray tan girls.

Sawmill: We're all just plugging along as best we can. There is new leadership and I like what I've seen so far. A simple act like using Powerpoint makes the difference between growth and looking down at the table while somebody rants. I look at every one of us and wonder how we've survived all these years of drama and heartache. I think really? That's because we love each other as family.

Big Green Weenie: That was my husband's term for when you get fucked royally. No excuses..no regrets, just a smackdown of epic proportions. I've had so many of those that I can't even remember who or when or how but it always hurt to get beat. Tori is on the way to Brighton for her first real softball game evah' and she's gonna be a killer, I can tell. No more duck lips chick!

Music: My mood has been bi-polar lately, delving into the Free!Spotify! library that I have collected. I use the desktop for music and blogging...the device for everything else. This is seriously where the device needs to be more user friendly for grandmaw.

True love: My friends Scott and Janet are headed to a tropical island to get married soon and I'm just ecstatic about the whole thing because there's a long story up in there. Scotty is the guy who made frames from my first barnwood salvage and delivered 'em in ghost of a car from Missouri. We have been co-workers and former smoking buddies for many years. Plus he likes QC and I hate it! I told him the other day that it was like he won the lottery. Nobody gets that kind of chance to make things right unless it's meant to be.

Boogs: Still cute I'm sure but BG had to work Saturday so there you go. No BabyMan fix. Anna brought Conner and 'Tav out yesterday and I was pretty amazed at how they had changed in 3 or 4 years. When Conner was a baby following a traumatic birth I gave him injections of growth hormone. It's what grandmas do when they know how.

ReachOut! Outside of your own greedy little soul and think about those less fortunate. It's what J would do, especially during Lent.

^j^

stuck in the mud

The Camry is...literally. I've been parking in back and backing out on the driveway but was able (until today) to maneuver a spot to back up and go out straight. This is because there's a huge 95 Cadillac sitting back there and mud all around it as well. I tried and BG tried and we gave up and I took the Cadi to pick Daddy up at church. It's like flying a freakin' plane and has a note on it but runs quiet and fast. I have to sit up to see over the dash which gives me a little old lady on a mission look. WE did eggs and doughnuts while he caught me up on basketball stuff which has sort of turned into the students of Pat Summitt. I remember Kelly Jolley, of all players, as one who could run a play and scrap yet never put that braid out of place. My parents took us to UTM to see them play once and I will cherish that day forever even though BG was a bratty teenager. We had supper and ice cream and it was the last time I traveled with them anywhere when Daddy was driving. He graduated from there as an ag major when it was a new school. Legacy, I'm saying.

In the heat of the muddy moments I tried to get BG to go run Daddy but nooooooooo. All I wanted to do was be outside which is where I'm headed shortly. There will be things planted and sticks picked up and a general welcome to spring on the lane. Ryder is out regularly for food/water/bathroom breaks away from the litter we still haven't seen yet. I'm sure we will soon enough. I'm already thinking about putting them on Etsy! It takes a village and I feel sure all the dog lovers I know will network to get these kids good homes. They will be big with a dane/lab mama and rot mix daddy. Poor Ryder is skin and bones. I see some chicken and rice in her future! I have no doubt that people love their pets and I've cried a river over the ones I've lost but I always go back for more because there's nothing more beautiful than a loyal animal. Mine have slept with me and watched me cry and bitch and moan and groan and as long as they can sleep in the room with me it's all good. Except Oscar who likes the front porch chair now that it's warm. Lots of action out there.

Like most folks I've been in hibernation mode because it's just been, well...ridiculous. Not that global warming has a thing to do with it BUT this is the second year in a row for record setting winters. Here's my theory: All those chunks of ice are breaking off and floating around causing freak things to happen like what we see today. A large part of the country stays on fire for months at a time. Florida, besides being run by conservative dickheads much like Jersey, is gonna' float to Cuba any day now. Wonder how Castro will accept all those boat people????

I feel hope for some insane reason. Hope that life will get a bit less stressful and more meaningful. Doing things with purpose has never been easy for me as I kind of sit around and dream a lot. So sue me.

And keep the faith.

mudpuppies

The monsoon seems to have taken a break so I suppose we will schmuck through the mud and check on Ryder and the babies. She is a big dog and I can't imagine what kind of twisting it must take for her to get in and out of that hole in the barn floor. We have seen her once when she came into the kitchen just to let us know she's okay and freaked out! Poor thing ran around in circles and then straight back to the barn. In the mud. We have what is known as a "river situation" going on here with the Mississippi on the rise and nowhere for the others to drain. This farm just so happens to be surrounded by one of the "others" and it's already creeping toward the road. Crest for the Big Muddy is next weekend so we shall see. I have almost forgotten what a sunny sky looks like.

I'm off thankyouverymuch, and have two days to piddle while it's gloomy outside. BG started at the 'gentral yesterday and is ready for action again tomorrow. Now I can just tell her what to get while she's at work and save a trip! It's the little things that make me happy like one less stop on the way home. Due to "inclement" weather the garbage situation is approaching where it was last year when some guy dug a hole and buried it right behind the straw bales. It will take many trips, if you know what I mean. The back has Booger's car seat and the trunk is already full so ummmm..I seriously need a truck. Maybe Sugardaddy will come by in his.

Work continues on the to-die-for house down the road. Now that it's all clean and pretty the whole 8 years of those special people living there seems like a bad dream. I wish I had a dollar for every time the cops came out to see what the problem was. When they weren't holed up in the dark, Jenny and the kids would explore Pecan Lane even when she was in a wheelchair. The kids happily pushed her down the road while she picked pecans with one of those stick things. Both parents are disabled and I hope that they are in a better place for them. Bubba and I called the dad Beethoven because he would move his speakers to the screened in porch and blast heavy metal 'til my windows shook. He also had crackhead friends who almost killed me and BG in the bed of a pickup truck during a flood.

I enjoyed the dance party with Michelle and Ellen a lot but I could just hear the trolls revving up for how inappropriate it is for a FLOTUS to thrust her hips on TV. I know one in particular who is just jealous because our first lady is classy and doesn't write letters to Iran. The culture of fear being perpetuated by the conservatives right now is downright scary plus really REALLY stupid. Ayatollahs don't play y'all. The cable went away for a couple of days and we started re-watching Breaking Bad. It's amazing how much I missed first time around. Payday came and so did live TV again. I could totally live without it except for Comedy Central and Triple D.

Tomorrow is Sunday again which means, of course, eggs and doughnuts with our usual crew at Daylight. Lori will stay with mom and get another history lesson. Each week I find them exploring another part of the house or looking at pictures with stories behind them. I can't help but believe that this is just what she needs! Their doctor is moving soon, back home to CO so the grands will get passed onto his replacement. Meds will get tweaked accordingly, PRN. Thank goodness we found out the neuro doc's script writer tripled daddy's Seroquel by accident. Um, yeah. And the doctor who had referred him? Never got a report. That's your medicare dollars at work folks. Meanwhile, the fog is gathering on my hill and it's looking kind of like zombieland so I better get off of here and start locking doors.

Peace~

typical

Ryder disappeared yesterday when I left for work and BG said she never came back after pacing and panting all night with the spawn of Chester about to be delivered. We found her yesterday afternoon in a hole under the barn floor and heard squealing so it was a done deal. We left food and water and she never touched it. As one who has hosted many "in home" births over the years including Ryder's AND Sophie's, it's a huge mess and forget whatever furniture or floor it happens on. Take it outside and under the porch. That would have been too easy I guess...she's not real bright but beautiful!! Sophie has Faith's spirit and color and that brings me comfort when I miss her sweet self. My friend Mary Gwyn has lost both of her parents in the span of a week after helping care for them for many years. She and her brother are both nurses which helps.

Mom was all smiles yesterday when she called to thank me for the buttercup I sent with Bubba and Sally. Sally's about to have babies too only hers are high dolla' purebred. The day before I happened to call Mom when she was having a meltdown and mad at Daddy and generally pitiful. I listened a lot and laid out options, the same ones that have been discussed ad-infinitum. She told me she'd "think about it but you don't know what 61 years is!" "Was it all bad?" No, just since I went away for four months and came back. *sigh* Obama, you listening??? Evidently Bob Corker is a rockstar right now and I'm not sold on that until he stands up about eight million more times. I mean REALLLY? So here's a really cool scenario that most people with intelligence will totally get. My cousin, who just happens to be in the court system has this follower who jumps on every single thing he posts that's against the conservative madness of today. Another friend called her out the other day and we had an entire discussion about her troll ways which she never even got because she's too busy trying to argue. Jeezus girl..give it a break. Either that or go mess with Theo.

No ISIS videos in a week. The rivers are up and it looks like several days of rain so we may have to drive through water in our reliable vehicles to get to the day jobs. BG was officially selected as a 'gentral employee today and I couldn't be prouder. We have been through some crap, I tell you. There have been times when we've doubted each other and tried to place blame, but always...always. We want what's best for each other even if it means change. She's going to say goodbye to Booger's brother who is going on a road trip for spring break a new life. Good luck dude..you're gonna' need it because Florida is about to break off and float to Cuba.

I spent some one on one time with a friend's mother today and it made me sad to think about that generation leaving us behind to figure things out. I have learned so much from my parents about ag and cooking and being a farm family. It's a life that so many never get to experience. I remember when the cows got sold and how quiet it was after that...nothing but the breeze and coyotes. And backwater, of course. My friend Chucky got filmed as a historian of the flats of the Big Muddy down around the family farm. She giveth and she taketh' away. Same for the Yarbros and other big land owners. With weather like we've seen, there's probably about to be a new reality show. I won't be able to see it because TV has to wait for payday.

I did visit a store for compost and pansies today plus three potted herbs. Basil is a must-have and rosemary too. Oregano is good too! They will go into my straw bales on the ground after danger of frost is gone. I'm serious, umkay? Y'all keep the faith and take a puppy.

means to an end

Increasingly I find myself dragging from task to task, tired of winter and people and every damn thing. Part of my life that once brought me great satisfaction has turned into a pissing contest that I will never win because I will never be good enough. That my best has been consistent and above and beyond doesn't matter at this point...just that I set the bar too high for myself many moons ago. Once you deliver, it's expected. I've been struggling with a chronic infection for over a year and stopped by to see my PA friend at the derm doctor's office. All three of us worked together at some time or another and the friendship is based on mutual understanding of who we are. For him it's kind and vain. The pool pump blew up one time and burned off his precious hair implants so he had to have a re-do. There is a silver Mercedes convertible in the parking lot which is his ride. In big fish little fish fashion, he sold the urgent care piece to the company who now employs my FNP with NO appointments and there's a no compete for him so there ya' go. Healthcare providerless again! I made an appointment with Kimmy and slunk out the door towards home. Sometimes....it's just not worth it to jump through the hoops.

I missed my follow up pap smear which is something I haven't failed on in about five years because of ASCUS. Ditto for the mammogram and wellness visit. At this point I'm looking at maximizing the scope of ANY visit to a diagnostician so as to "bundle" co-pays, as they say in the business. Bundling is something that labs do too, but only in Medicare approved panels. As they go, so goes big insurance. Keep in mind that the decisions about funding things like preventive health and treatments is made by politicians who do not have our best interests at heart. At.All. They will smooth sell every one of us out to Israel or Russia if it keeps their boat floating. Keep the faith Snowden.

My phone provider has decided that my password is not correct so if anybody has left a message, I'll get it someday. I rarely check it as my mother can attest. She still leaves message that I get six weeks later! There's no ice storm and I can hear the peepers up here on the hill now so maybe spring will get on with it. I'm about ready for some fresh asparagus to go with the cauliflower we roast in olive oil. Slowly but surely we are eating healthier and with better purpose and it shows even though we're both SADDed out.

This too shall pass.

i like ike

I'm sitting here in the office looking at an honest to god copy of the Memphis Commercial Appeal printed on the day he died. This is the story that my parents have given me, along with many other elders like the Bruces and Mallards. They did not understand my objections to the Vietnam war because my daddy is a veteran and it stood for something then. This man was stationed in the Azore Islands before I was born. Then we all lived in Martin for a bit until college was over and moved on out to the farm that has been my home. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be close to aging parents even though it's always something and usually an emergency. When I got into the car after work today I smelled the scent of my daddy's aftershave from our trip to eggs and doughnuts yesterday. And I cried for some totally normal reason.

Meanwhile, Ryder is great with child and I've contacted baby daddy for help in getting these pups to good homes. Rescues make the best pets and if you find a vet or somebody who really LOVES animals? Bingo. We are not neglectful dog owners and take a head count every single day and night so as not to have to get up and open the door. Regular potty breaks are paramount with that many critters. Even the cat goes outside! My poor little straw bales are soggy with snow and ready to receive an application of compost for early spring crops. Normally we would already be there but of course there's the global warming thing and the Tea Partiers writing letters to freakin' IRAN???????? Somebody call Pat Robertson and tell him I give if they'll all just shut the hell up about hellfire and damnation.

I don't know what the hell is going on because everybody lies and makes money off of it and the general public just sort of buys into the whole MSM thing. I would literally die on the vine if I didn't have the internet as a way of communicating with the rest of my world. We can thank Gore or whomever for that but I know a lot of IT folks who made a killing in the eighties, just saying. In our big fish/little fish world the biggies have mostly lured folks into the lair with storefronts and occasionally precious sales folk. Josh...that was for you! Prior to that visit my phone had been dead for awhile and BG was at her group so I tromped on up through the snow and ice and purchased the first phone I could actually see to text with.

Now just listen for a minute, okay? Believe it or not I am quite conservative when it comes to core values like trust and honor. I have about two hands full that I can count on and another hundred who come out of the woodwork when I need them most and that? Is the beauty of social media. I promise I'll never ever post my dinner on FB but I might share a shot of Babyman now and then, just because I can. I'm the only grandma he's got, you know. Plus he's cute but "spoilt" as mama would say. That's one thing I never was as a farmer's daughter. We ate well from the garden and had nice clothes and reliable cars. It's about umm...eight miles from Reynolds street to the cabin where I lived but Fetch walked it during strawberry season when we were both about 14ish. Daddy carried him home, I believe. Dude was my first drummer.

Here's the thing, as Rodney would say:

potholes and peepers

Our three weeks of ice and snow have left giant gaping caverns in the pavement which one must keep a keen eye toward, most especially in a car with one tire on fix-a-flat. It did get us to Lake county and back yesterday which is the farthest it's been in months. When Lori and I were leaving the grands I stopped dead in my tracks at the sound of frogs. How quickly things change! There are still big piles of dirty snow everywhere but a week in the fifties and sixties will melt all that. Snowdrops and crocus came and went before the ice hit three weeks ago today. So much time has been spent trying to stay warm and mobile that it's a luxury to sit here knowing I can drive myself to work tomorrow, lord willing and the tire doesn't give. I plan to spend this day piddling and pampering. Babyman spent the night and is headed home in said trusty old Camry. The Cadi has two huge drifts on the front sides because it has NOT moved since Wednesday.

I have a vacation planned in May, my first in about five years. I had wanted to make it to the beach but the money won't be there as usual. I'll settle for a week planting a garden and playing outside...waking up with my body clock instead of the Samsung alarm on my shiny red badass phone. I need a total break from reality as I've known it and this past week was just the beginning of passages for several of us. Just like when the miracles flowed for me three weeks ago, everything came together for my friend's return to her home and family plus a connection to get her to a heart doctor. So much gratitude!

I was quite humbled to see the Selma turnouts noting that it was bi-partisan and heartfelt. Snowden wants to go to Switzerland and I honestly don't see why not because all he did was blow the whistle on things we should have known about to begin with. This whole cat and mouse in the airport thing is ridiculous and cost God knows how much in taxpayer dollars. The story is out there and putting him in jail won't do anything but make people madder. Transparency, y'all. That old saying about forgiveness being easier to get than permission isn't always true, especially when interfering with privacy.

Another friend is burying her mother today, something that I know is in my near future. That I know it in my heart doesn't mean I'm ready or even begin to like it, but it is what it is. My parents have lived long and happy lives in that little red log cabin and it 's home to me, just like this house on the hill. Only one other rental remains and it's getting spruced up like crazy. Still looking for a sugardaddy to move in so send him my way if you see him. As for my house all it needs right now is paint and I'd gladly do the labor but it's like pulling teeth to get anything done here. At least now I can take the quilt off the door that won't close.

Believe and prosper~

road trip

I lost my sunglasses sometime during the two weeks that I never saw any rays so I had to get new ones at the DG this morning because it's beautiful but blinding when you've been all up in SADD mode. Lorna managed to get her electric taken care of and the kids were ready to come home so there you go. We stopped a couple of places on the way to Lake county, one of which is Tickle's store currently tended by Mike and Sheila dba Countryside. They're hoping for a good report so they can cash in and move to Belize. This store is historic in many ways, the stalwart between Dyersburg and Ridgely. BG learned to scoop up cricket bait there. When they bought it Sheila did a remodel and it's cute as hell. I met she and Mike when they floated the Forked Deer. That was when Ruskey came to town and brought some sort of awareness to our community of the value of a river for transportation and recreation, not for toxic waste dumping. The entire farm is surrounded by that body of water with sloughs and whatnot. The back hundred stays underwater 'til May or later.

So we whizzed past all the rusty buildings on highway 78 toward the lake and Silvertop. They look prettier in the snow when the flaws of age are softened by white. Lots of rusty tin and empty strip malls if you know what I mean. Reelfoot Lake is one of the wonders of our modern world and there's a big port there and a lot of good vibes surrounding the preservation of history. Lorna and Murray and the new mayor might just get that stuff going on. The roads are better and there's a super two lane that looks impressive. Hickman is close by and I remembered my one road trip there delivering a two man canoe team at their little harbor. I got lost on the way home, by the way. Nothing but corn fields for miles around and I had to call Gigi for directions to get the hell outta' there. I also called Gumby from the parking lot of Blue Bank. There are lots of signs pointing toward the big muddy but we didn't go there today. Passed on lunch at Boyette's too. We were just busy hauling groceries in through the snow. Of course we got stuck but us old girls pushed while BG moved forward and I jumped in at the last minute as we left the pecan orchard and headed for the three lane..

While I was buying cauliflower and beer (don'tjudgeme) I ran into Marfie who came in for a few things and left with a lot more. Her son Chris was coming for lunch so she loaded up. She's been playing beauty shop and looks fabulous. My friend Sondra's mama died and I'm thinking about her and praying for some peace. Lord knows we all need it. I now have a new driveway thanks to Mark's truck which got me to work and back on Thursday and Friday. The county plowed Friday so BG was able to pick me up and get out of the house to wander. Cabin fever is serious business. Prior to coming here Lorna had been inside her house with bubble wrap on all the windows. OMG. And then there was the tour of her quite large house and the warrior helmet with Spanish coins all over. Lord, girl. Bang that drum! Propane guy made a run today even though it's the weekend and I still owe him money. I'm thinking the extreme winter of Thor and 15 is about to become a garden. Let's hold that thought, umkay?

blinded by the snow

I live in Tennessee right close to three other states which all border the Mississippi River. Our weather is temperate usually with a long growing season that (used to) begin in April. We are not prepared for eight+ inches of snow two weeks after a major ice storm. I set my alarm for 4AM and when it went off peeked out to see that the windshield didn't look too bad so I slept for 30 more minutes. Needless to say there is no carport, much less garage so the Camry was parked facing the kitchen wall again, hoping for the best. It took 30 minutes of de-icing to get the doors open and when I was on a break from that my boss called to say that her hub the 911 director was scooping us all up for work. He made fresh tracks in the big ass truck and dropped me off first carrying on to pick up the rest of the day crew. Needless to say, it was a slow day. Things pick up when the ice melts a little and the fools get out for more bread and milk. I got a ride home with a co-worker who even stopped at the store for me . I did fall on the ice one time today but I'm gonna' spare the details of that little incident. Nothing is torn, just a little extra soreness in that left hip. I should be out taking pictures of the whole deal but I choose to stay inside and watch from the warmth. With a low of 5 tonight, it's not going anywhere. This morning when I was de-icing in the dark with 25 mph gusts blowing snow all I wanted was to be back in that warm bed with SammyD.

Lorna feels better and that's good because I was really worried when she hit the floor. The sun is out and that does wonders for the spirit. BG and the doggies went out to play a bit and there would be snowcream only....no milk. I blame Kroger and the zombie hordes of Wednesday afternoon. I seriously don't want to witness that kind of madness ever again. There will be flooding and mud and all those spring things that follow winter, but I've been there done that as well. All you can do is to move forward and keep the faith.

^j^

the saga continues

As we all know the day after an accident is when the real aches and pains appear once the shock has worn off and the body says "what the HELL did you do to me!!" Poor Lorna is dragging around in that shape while we wait for the ice and snow apocalypse to begin. We got a new wiper blade and a gallon of de-icer and the Camry is parked in a strategic position facing the kitchen wall to minimize trips out in the mud to clear it. Now, we wait. One of the things Lorna has been dealing with is that her phone was about to be cut off and she didn't have the $$ to take care of it so our next adventure began yesterday in search of a green dot card with money on it to pay ATT so she won't be like, you know....screwed. I've never done that but it involved (in our one horse town) going to Kroger to pick up the money and then to Walgreen to load the card. I'm telling you Kroger was a freakin' ZOO at 2PM yesterday what with all the bread and milk folks out gathering. School was cancelled for today because it's supposed to start icing any time now.

That last patch of ice against the barn did indeed melt and is in the pool of water that covers Pride's grave out back. In other good news, BG was hired at the neighborhood DG yesterday due to sheer determination on her part to get noticed after two years of trying to navigate their HR website. The really odd part is that when I was there yesterday morning I mentioned to the manager that my daughter had applied and she told me that she had just gotten off the phone with her scheduling an interview! How cool is that for karma. I'm usually the first one there at the front door if I need something on a particular day. Hannah and Kaylee have elevated the 'gentral to celebrity status beginning with orange glow and going on down the list of bargains available for most every occasion. Too bad they don't do green dot.

The grands are perking along nicely with daddy's little bit of extra medicine which Mom believes has been "helpful." Lori discovered quite by accident that last week's neuro team upped the dosage by THREE times what he's been on which would probably put him in a coma. Luckily he didn't fill the 'script and has a GP appointment next week. It's a miracle of biblical proportions that this whole thing works with the entire deal pivoting on the fact that I'm on call 24/7 and up the road a bit. No doubt Ms Faye will be snowed in again so they'll be on their own while I work.

I watched Bibi's speech yesterday and had the best laugh at the live comments by trolls worldwide. I listened for about ten minutes until he started conjuring up ISIS armed with nukes and had to move on to something else. Science fiction does not a good leader make. It's amazing to me how all the wingnuts have compared Obama to Hitler over the years and don't see this blind leading the blind mentality in the Tea party. I am by no means a pure Dem but these folks do every thing they can to allow me to hate what they stand for. I'm much more of a middle of the road kinda' gal. How sad that after years of leadership in Congress Boehner goes out holding the big green weenie.

I'm ready to face this storm and move on past it toward whatever my life is supposed to be. The last year has been one of struggling for survival an sanity on many different levels and Celexa can only do so much. Our lives were not meant to be so hard to live but we have created a dog eat dog world where people with power dictate how we live our days on this earth. To me the fact that so much political energy is going into reversing a SCOTUS decision handed down 40 years ago is absurd. What makes it dangerous is that it's done in the name of Christianity. Nobody tries to tell men they have to be neutered which would solve the whole problem. Yeah..I'm in a mood.

My tribe has consisted of a lot of friends and family who are there when I need them and sometimes when I dont. That's the beauty of relationships that are formed with love, respect and boundaries. Being someone else's judge and jury is no way to be on a personal level. Jesus wouldn't like it, if you know what I mean.

Peace love and snow drifts y'all ^j^

off the grid

Today started out like any other with me rolling out of the bed at six (got to sleep in) and beginning to wander on my day off. I had to go to the chicken store right off the bat and prayed for a deer not to cross the lane because the fog was so thick it would have been deadly for both of us. After creeping back home with the bum windshield wiper blade flapping at me (must.fix.today.) I came home to find Lorna stirring. No sooner did she get vertical and drink some green tea than she passed smooth out on the floor and busted her knee. BG woke when she hit the floor and we did our nurse tag team thing until she came around. Sweet tea does wonders for what ails a country girl.

By this time the dolla' gentral was open so I headed up that way to get supplies for the upcoming ice storm redux. There are still patches of ice from two weeks ago clinging to the ground next to the barn but they should melt when it hits fifty something today. Then.....back to almost Zero on the other side of the ice and snow. That should be fun with no de-icer to be found. Guess we'll have to go organic and mix something up.

"The speech" will begin soon and I'm kind of curious about how the whole thing plays out. We shall see if anybody in either party can play nice. Al Franken and Elizabeth Warren have passed along with a whole lot of others. IMHO this is one of the most flagrant up yours moments in recent Republican history. Hell, even the moderates are ashamed of their cohorts. McConnell is back paddling among others, and Rand Paul is noticeably absent from the fray. Gotta' have a strategy for job security, you know.

The survivor in me is planning for the worst and hoping for the best. Because that? Is how I roll. Keep the faith ^j^

the end is near

Well as best as I can tell Bibi is headed to Congress in the morning to broker a deal with Iran and Boehner. I'm off for a couple of days and I don't imagine that will be on my radar. Most of the non-hardcore conservatives will be absent, I imagine, as well as the majority of Jewish folks. This is really a whole bunch of drama that is so not necessary during these times of global warming crises and such. All we gotta' do is send the carbon down instead of up! A real dreamer never gives up when it seems that nothing else can be done to save mother earth and the glorious times we've had with her. Around here we're expecting more winter weather of like 5 degrees on my next day to work so I hope the Camry holds out or else I'll be broke. Well, broker than usual, if you know what I mean. Daddy almost got overdosed on an anti=psychotic when he went for a traveling neuro visit over at the local doc's office/strip mall. I was asleep at the wheel on that one because I've been absent for a couple of weeks due to extreme winter weather conditions and a terrible viral infection that produced a whole lot of potentially infectious bodily fluids which I coughed and hacked up for days on end. Hey..it's flu season and I took the shot. This year it didn't work.

My friend Lorna is camped out here because Obama cut off her electricity up in Lake county which is about the poorest area of Tennessee except for their giant port next to the Big Muddy and Reelfoot Lake which used to be a primo crappie fishing spot and home to bald eagles and cypress trees. Hopefully the powers that be will see fit to save that for the future. Boogs has a double ear infection so he's been home with his TT today getting lots of hugs. Sometimes it's good to be the baby! Since FB has failed to hook me up fo' free with blog posting anymore I reckon I'll have to depend on word of mouth to tell my story.

^j^