exit strategy

Man does it feel good to sleep 'til you feel like getting up. I was down for about 12 hours with fitful rest due to the positional shoulder thing but at least I was self treating and not working. I dreamed about snakes last night which my friend Lorna always associates with change. She reminded me today that I'm headed for a beach somewhere and need to plan the next chapter. To make that happen, I need a dependable car and to not have loan sharks on my ass all the time. There comes a point where you know that things don't look good so you act accordingly.

I was out and about hunting and gathering this morning and managed to spend mama's gift cards plus ten of my own to get her some underwear and daddy socks. Before that I picked up the company hams and ran into my friend Linda in the meat department shopping for bacon. Her hub died this year so I imagine she's feeling pretty lonely right about now. She shared that she helped make the deal for us to get a ham and pie and I thanked her for it. Most of what she does is volunteer like my parents did. I wonder if corporate knows how valuable volunteer work is but then I imagine they do. We probably need a volunteer chaplain, if you know what I mean.

I'm making a list of the bullets that are my top 5 areas of focus and it's kind of sad how long it take me to come to this point. Two fingers on my right hand are losing feeling and the bitch is still there accompanied by her evil twin under the armpit area. Biofreeze can only do so much, ya know? I'm constantly stretching and moving to keep the pain from settling in and freezing that shit up.

So I've learned a lot this week about the generosity and issues of others and how that whole thing plays out in day to day life. I've been judged on several different levels and found to be not worthy so it's probably time to move on. In spite of the fact that I've lived in this house on the hill for 27 years and paid a hundred grand for the privilege, unless there are improvements made I can't stay. Rent is very reasonable but utilities have been a thorn in my side for years. There is very little shade here so summers are brutal on a house that sits on a hill. So are winters when the weather moves across the bluffs with ice and wind.

It is what it is and I'm okay with it. Keeping the faith ^j^