brave

One of my favorite inspirational pages is "DoItGirl" which is devoted to helping those of us who are having a hard time and feeling downtrodden. It is uplifting to say the least and empowering every time in a "claim your goddess" kind of way. Thank goodness there are those who can anonymously lift someone else's spirits when they are feeling like going out to eat a worm. I've had a couple of tongue lashings lately which lead me to believe that there's something wrong with ME and that's probably partially true. All of my life I have struggled with boundaries and whatnot, and I don't take criticism very well unless it is addressed privately and from the heart. I trust too much when I know better, and I get hurt because of it. My fault, entirely. Time to take off those rose colored glasses I suppose.

The furniture people did indeed show up yesterday armed with plastic bags and surgical tape to wrap up the pieces for transport in the ever present rain. The bottom fell out shortly thereafter so they'll be back later for the rest. Every time something moves out, I marvel at the empty space where once there was clutter. It's very cleansing and meaningful to know where every piece is going to a home. It makes it not quite so hard to part with "things." We're still sharing the Camry for a ride so I'm carless today while BG works. That's okay with me because I'm already both feet into a day full of being a bum. Good for the soul, you know?

I haven't run across any big girl panties yet but I'm sure they're here so I'll keep digging through boxes and hanging on. Some sweet angel left a surprise in my locker yesterday and I was flabbergasted. It could have been there for a week, as often as I look in there. I feel the tears coming again so it's probably time to listen to something happy or watch a comedy. The tears are therapeutic, symbols of grief for all that is lost. Each one that falls is for something that I loved that is no longer in my life. Self therapy, if you will. Hey...when you're as screwed up as I am, it's too expensive to make an appointment once a week.

Sun's out but it's too wet to mow so it's bumhood for me today. Keep the faith ^j^