blowin' in the wind

As you may recall, I pitched every damned one of my college textbooks out the attic window to the spot

where they've been by the porch ever since. Yesterday was warmish and the weekend eve so I started a couple of small fires, one of them containing the books. It didn't burn well because they were stacked on top of each other with not much air. Anywho, it went out (or so I thought) last night and all was well. The one out in the middle of the yard was just a few sticks and a box or two. After a twelve hour nap, I got ready and took my mama shopping. We returned a very expensive walker basket to the distributor who was quite rude to her on the phone. It will cost almost as much to ship by UPS and pay their return fee as the item cost. Gotta love it. After we got that done and I caught up with an old friend who works there, we headed to JCPenney for some jammies. By this time the wind has picked up quite a bit and Mom's hair was standing ever which'a'way as I let her out on the curb. We wandered and looked and felt and disagreed on sizes ending up with three sets of PJs and two pair of slippers. Just what a girl needs for a long winter's nap.

She bought me lunch and a new bra and socks which I badly needed and we headed for our last stop to get chicken salad and fruit cups from her favorite cafe. "Fruit cups come with a sandwich, so I'll have to call the manager to find out a price." Hmm...okay. "Sorry, no chicken salad!" Aw man REALLY?? We settled on roast beef and swiss on a croissant and hit the road to home. As I was unloading the car at her house my phone rang and it was BG letting me know the freakin' yard was on fire. My entire front yard, including the perennial bed, is black with ash. AO was stomping out the last edges of it in his drawers when I drove up. Such is my life, ya'll.

I'm noticing a lot of thanksgiving going on right now which is what the season is about...gratitude for the blessings however they are packaged. Compassion for those who have so much less and have suffered that much more. One of the hardest things for me to do in therapy was to learn the art of gratitude because I was young and always into the details of all that comes with raising a child. I was exhausted mentally and grasping for something to get me through a very dark time. I cried every day for over a year. I took PMS vitamins. I got a divorce, twice. It never ceases to amaze me when I hear people's stories and remember when that would have been just a passing detail back in the day. Now, they are a collection of who I am and how we have been at the same place and time. I like to think of it as an unbroken circle, but then I'm kinda' mystic sometimes.

^j^