Wednesday, March 16, 2011

little miracles

Ya' was my Monday payback and I walked up into some real drama this morning before the sun ever came up. Way before. Can't talk about all that because of HIPPA (shhhhhh) but it's one of those moments I spoke of yesterday about courage and honor and life changing moments. My boss and every boss over her stood together in alliance and did the right (and legal) thing. I have a whole new respect for the entire bunch of them.

I haven't even dared to peek at my bank balance the past day or so because it's gettin' kinda slim and I don't like bad news, so there ya go. That normally happens right before payday around here. BG is exploring job opportunities and has a good shot at a good chance in her field. My play money check arrived today and I got to the bank JUST in time to avoid overdraft fees. That shit just makes me a** draw up. I wrote an apology to my dentist friend and sent a check, and will appeal to my local federal credit union for a loan to pay the propane guy and hand surgeon. They've been really patient too. Got notice from the company that raped me sold me a nebulizer knowing that my insurance wouldn't pay that I owe them almost two hundred bucks. The NP quoted me a price of 86. What's up with that????????

I wish I had forsythia/quince/buttercup/bradford pear raw cam up here on the hill so ya'll could see how freakin' beautiful it is. Sometimes I need a little reminder of the reason I've struggled so hard to stay here as long as I can. Can't beat the view from the porch. I'm just saying. The swing on the porch is a little bit high where you have to do a little jump to get your butt up on it and it takes forever for it to stop. That's because it dumped me smooth on the wood last fall when a couple of the rusty links broke off. I was kinda dauntcy for a couple of days. That was one the Little General's momma's terms. You'd have thought they were southern!

Last wednesday my friend Conner and I had an impromptu service in the kitchen where I wrote down what I was giving up for Lent and burned it in a leftover aluminum ashtray from Bubba's club. Obviously there are things that I could give up to enhance my financial situation but most of them have gone by the wayside already...things like clothes and healthy food. I was sort of thinking real hard about the sacrificial thing and decided to start with things that are pretty easy to let go of. Pride. I've ever had an arrogant day in my whole life! Greed. This has been a biggie for me, because sometimes I resent the fact that while I bust my ass trying to make a living for myself other folks bankroll their kids until they're 30 in an upscale Snooki sort of way. Because it's cool. Fortunately I've never really had the devil in me to latch onto that that particular sin. I grew up with two parents who worked until they couldn't work any more to support our family. We always worked as teenagers to earn our first vehicles or something that we wanted. I was a lifeguard at the Moose every summer so I got to work on my tan and get paid fifty cents an hour for chasing brats and frying cheeseburgers on a griddle when I wasn't sittin' in the sun. Good times. The labor board eventually made 'em pay up back wages to all of us underpaid overworked teenagers. Heh. Good times, right?

I'm not sure that Conner understood any of it because I sure didn't at that age. They made me go to church and bible school enough as a child that I got the basics and began to form my own belief system. Big Ernie says you can do that, ya know. When I see those idiots from the Westboro clan I think about the movie "Deliverance" for some odd reason. It has nothing to do with the dirty teeth or guns....but the pure walking and talking persona of evil. any form, for any reason, is not a reason to be mean. Take an extra Xanax for cripes' sake. My theory is that all the people who are consumed with that kind of anger will turn into tasmanian devils and just whirl each other over the rainbow to a happy place. Then we'll all be in better shape.

Peace and love ^j^

1 comment:

  1. We were really glad the WBS didn't show yesterday at the funeral for the seven poor children who passed in the fire last week. Probably for the better; them folk up there were ready to put their SECOND Amendment rights to use, you know what I'm sayin'?