tale of two bubbas

I had to break down and make the dreaded trip to Kroger today and ran into oodles of people I haven't seen in awhile.  Nancy, as always, was manning the produce section.  I also saw Ms Juanita who is the daughter of our beloved Ms Mary Crawford who died recently.  One Bubba is my cousin and the other Bubba was a teacher and Lauren's volleyball coach.  And there were Larry and Joy in line behind me while I ran back to get something.  I managed to knock 35 bucks off the total with Kroger card and coupons so...not bad.

Now this is something that would only happen to me.  I'm hauling in groceries in the stifling heat and the keys are hanging out the back door.  I snagged a plastic bag on them and managed to pop it off only to find that the key was BROKEN off in the lock.  So of course I had to call you know who and woke him up from a nap.  Actually that was Bubba #3.

I posted a video about Trump congratulating himself on every little thing and started a thread that is still going.  This one guy just wears.me.out.  The conversation went from bad to worse when he totally went off point onto Roseanne.  My fearless warrior friends are eating him alive.  

I'm going to Jackson on Saturday to babysit Reaves while Lauren goes to a meeting. Win.Win.  She and her friends are organizing to bring AA into the jail ministry of their area.  A worthy cause for sure.

I've got piles of dirty clothes to tackle but plenty of time.  That luxury is one that I do not take for granted.  

Peace be with you ^j^

inside those walls

I had a lunch date with some friends and decided to go by and visit my dear friend Mr. John Hart.  He was a close friend of my parents and worked as a volunteer at the hospital for eons.  Lovely man.  He always loved to come out when the apples were in because Daddy had some fine trees.  Eventually they played out from neglect but there are new ones planted.  He was truly delighted to see me, and me him.  

My friends and I ate lunch and gabbed at Joe's Deli all the while observing local businessmen file past for a meeting of the minds in the back.  We had plenty of time but two absent due to illness.  There was also a surprise impromptu visit with Vicki out front but she was on a mission with errands and couldn't stop to eat with us.  She and Chucky are always on the road.  

Bubba called to let me know they are ripping off siding at the cabin so I went down for a look see and was amazed.  They found a huge snake up in the wall.  He is now dead.  Slowly but surely the reptiles are being driven out.  As many cracks as were in that place, it's no wonder we found snakes in drawers and skins hanging off the curtain rods.  

Be safe and happy and always do the next right thing ^j^

long may she wave

Unfortunately I don't  have a grill OR the money to buy a ribeye so it's leftovers for me. My favorite thing to grill is veggies...any kind.  There's this thing somebody taught me years ago with sliced taters, squash, broccoli and onions drenched in Italian dressing and grilled to perfection.  Wrapped in aluminum foil....easy peasy.  Asparagus is good too but alas, I had no crop.  Maybe next year.

Those poor people in Maryland!  Just two years after a major flood and they're hit again.  Looks like the Gulf Coast will get soaked as well.  This is the first time since I retired that Iam not in holiday rotation.  Even the liquor store is open today!  My sista'a neighbor dropped by today and was having a rough one.  All her brothers served and survived, but she's missing Ronnie bad.  And of course Mommy.  Summer holidays always were celebrated around the grill under the tree at Mozella's house.  

I was a teenager when the war in Vietnam started.  Many of these soldiers did not choose to serve but were drafted by the federal government.  It was not a popular war and dragged on forever resulting in an entire subpopulation of vets who came home to boos and hisses when they never wanted to be there to begin with.  The one time that I failed to stand for the national anthem was at a school event honoring a local POW from that war.  That era taught me about war.  Thank you for your service Ron Gathright, Joe Purcell and Kenneth Hughey.

Fast forward to Desert Storm.  Lauren was in first grade and her class suspported a national guardsman who got deployed.  I worked with him too.  Robert Taylor, thank you for your service.  Also James Frank and Ronald.  

Anybody who knows me knows that I was against the Iraq/Afghanistan war from the get go.  We accomplished nothing but making Halliburton rich and killing a lot of innocents and military.  There were no WMD and it was just a ploy to stir some shit up.  Feed the rich, so to speak.  A ton of military hardware was left in the battlefield, which we paid for.  I believe with all my heart that the financial collapse in 2008 was largely because of that investment.  Thank you for your service Joe Deak Steven Hopper and Jeremy McAlister.

I have two options...to be a sheeple or a warrior.   

the prodigal daughter

I was born and raised in the United Methodist Church on the corner of Main and McGaughey.  The last time I went was on All Saints Day the year  my mother died.  Somebody else had to light the candle for me because I was kind of pitiful.  They have changed to one service at 10AM which everybody loves but my Daddy would hate.  He was an 8:30 dude to the bone.  I reached out to my friend Delores yesterday to see if she would be there today to hold my hand because it would be hard.  That church reeks of my parents and all the other saints before us.  Anywho, she did indeed hold my hand as I sat sandwiched between she and her family.  I still know all the liturgy by heart and many of the hymns.

I have been "got" again by a facebook hacker who sent a friend request from a gentleman that I know and respect.  It seemed legit so I accepted and got about three sentences into the conversation before I realized what was up.  I don't have his phone number but I notified my cuz to get in touch with his daughter and tell her to let Dad know.  This is not the first time it's happened but I catch it pretty quick.  I notified said hacker that the page owner is aware of his antics.  NEH my ass.  That was the tipoff.

These people are smooth.  They ask open ended questions and  give vague answers.  That's the first red flag.  My ears perked up right then and there.  It's so irritating.  This was probably somebody in an internet cafe in Nigeria like Prince Fred.  Ya'll remember that story?  Lerd.  The local law enforcement said they had never seen anything like the scam I was involved in.

Neal's sermon was about meeting others where they are and trying to help.  That struck a chord with me considering the little army trying to pull off a benefit for Damascus.  Outside of the Jackson there is no inpatient men's rehab facility.  The ministry begins in the jail and moves inmates out into the world when trust is built.  The leadership meets them where they are and doesn't treat them like sinners.  From Matthew 9...And the Pharisees said to the disciples," Why does your teacher eat with sinners?"  His reply: "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick."

The devil's been trying to pull me under this week and that's one of the reasons I headed for fellowship.  I can honestly say my soul was fed ^j^

alberto

Lord knows how many people are going to be mad as heck because Alberto will rain....hard...on their vacations.  I hope they all have some board games or a deck of cards.  When I went to Okaloosa 2 years ago with Heather and crew, we had gorgeous weather without a single shower all week long.  The monsoon started about the time we hit Selmer on the way home.  No beach for me this year.  '

One of the things I hate about auto deduct is that you never know when it's going to hit.  I'm overdrawn 98 cents on Netflix and my overdraft charge will be 30 plus.  Payday is six days away.  Lerd.  I've still not gotten into the routine of when the money comes so I'm on a learning curve for the budget.  

I figured out that the wonky spell yesterday was probably dehydration.  I had sworn off diet coke and drank it two days in a row with very little water.  That will do it.  Note to self:  do not go back there.  Sleeping for 14 hours helped.  

I'm happy to see that the leaders of North and South Korea have met to discuss relations with their own countries.  That serves as a bonus reason for Trump to get his tush to that meeting he scheduled and then backed out of.  It's your JOB dude.  

I have the flag that was draped on my father's coffin and it's sitting on the kitchen table in honor of Memorial Day.  He didn't lose his life in action and they're always the argument about the meaning of Memorial Day vs Veteran's Day.  In my book, those who served often were spared their lives but came home with horrific memories of watching their comrades die.  Mr. Oscar Bruce was at Iwo Jima and one of the few survivors.  He carried shrapnel in his body until he died.  

With only a 20% chance of rain we are having a nice pop up shower here on the hill.  No redneck water hose needed today.  I love labs, especially chocolate ones.  I've never quite gotten over losing my sweet Faith.  Today I saw a post from a friend who has just gotten a red puppy!  These are the most beautiful dogs and hard to find.  My friend Amy in Chicago has a gorgeous silver lab named Greta.  As I was driving from Jackson these two guys were in front of me with a pretty black one running from side to side in the truck bed.  Obviously trained well!

And always, remember who you are. ^j^

grammaw fix

I set the alarm for early so I could head to Jackson but snoozed it.  Then somebody called.  And somebody else stopped by so it was time to get on outta' the bed.  I felt kinda' wonky but hit the shower and ran some errands on the way out of town.  Lauren had asked for a diet coke so I stopped at a convenience store to pick that up and knew when I got out of the car something was wrong.  I literally almost passed out in front of the drink cooler.  This has happened before after I drive for an hour or so.  Who the heck knows.

I arrived at Lauren's to find not one but TWO babies because Kim was there for a visit with tiny little Clara.  Reaves wanted to get dat baby soooooo bad.  She is everywhere now as she becomes more proficient at crawling and pulling up.  Our favorite chill place is out front with her in the walker.  Everybody who lives there knows and adores her.  She can get up some serious speed in that walker, just saying.  

I cut the visit short because I was still feeling strange and there was thunder rumbling to the south.  I don't know what's up except that having a normal blood pressure makes me dizzy.  Who knows.  I do know this for sure.  Every time I drive away from the Aspell Community I feel humble.  

Grace ~

the greater good

The longer I live the more jaded I become.  I try really hard to be humble and respectful to each and every person that I come in contact with.  Do I always hit the mark?  Of course not.  Nobody does.  When things go sideways I try to make them right to the best of my ability.  Sometimes that's just not possible but at least I know that I tried.  The rest is up to God.

I received word that a dear friend and classmate and her mother were involved in a terrible accident and her mother died.  Cheryl is true blue and has been a great friend to me.  I'm sad beyond words.  My buddy Pax lost his mother as well yesterday.  The grief and loss continue at a rapid pace the older we get.  

I find myself without words, which is unusual.  I'm centering down trying to find a peaceful place and concern myself only with me and mine.  The country is spiraling out of control and that scares me a lot.  I shudder to think what my granddaughter faces in her future.  At the rate we're going, school shootings are a weekly event.  I don't have the answer but somebody does and it needs to be addressed before one more person dies at the hands of a maniac.  

Keeping the faith ~

the white board

There were about seven of us there today bouncing ideas off the wall about a fundraiser for Damascus.  It's always interesting to network and get ideas from others.  Today's group was like minded and left with an agenda to do some research and reconvene in a month.  These things take time.  We now have two event options on the table and a backup venue.  You can't beat that with a stick for meeting 1. Thanks to all y'all who attended.  Jesus loves you.  

I stopped by the shady 'gentral for cat food and litter today and found them vacating the building for a remodel. Poor kitty.  She might starve but I think Mamye will deliver.  

It's about time to hit 412 again because ....the girls.  There will be pictures.  

Namaste ~

where credit is due

I go to a lot of gas station/convenience places like the chicken store.  All the girls there call me boo and treat me like family even when they're having a bad day.  I notice little things like that.  I also noticed that unlike most delivery trucks, the Coke guy had parked away from customer parking so as to not get in the way.  Coke drivers do that consistently.  I waited for him to get off the  phone and thanked him for the courteous parking.  He was tickled to death.  I guess, dear Sailor, that was my one good thing of the day.  

I ran by the cabin ( no snakes today ) and found a completely decked back porch.  Can you say "awesome!" I'm broke enough that I'm back to pimping windows.  These I've got are vintage, some even with the ropes still attached.  I spent a good two years as a picker through stuff and had a couple of successful sales.  What I have now is mostly what I will keep unless the price is right. I have enough furniture for the small house that will be my home someday.  

This house on the hill was built in 1918 and has very steep steps in both front and back.  I find myself having to take them one at a time instead of skipping down like I used to.  It's not fun hauling groceries in either.  Even though I could have easily bought a house for what I've paid in rent, I wouldn't change any of it.  I am at home and my child grew up here like me. You can't take those memories away.

The next right thing.....always do it.  

on being strong

I learned to be co-dependent at an early age as most people do.  I was a child of a prominent family in our community and the rebel of the litter.  I want to "fix" things and make them right.  It took two years of therapy for me to separate from that identity yet I still have spells where I lapse into ruler of the world.  I give a lot and expect nothing in return.  

As a result of that, I find myself with very little emotional support as a result.  I have tons of friends with their own issues who don't necessarily have it in them to lift me up.  That can be a really lonely feeling.  When it's time for a breakdown, there's nobody there to listen.  Which is why I'm headed back to therapy.

The changes in my life during the past year have been major with becoming a grandmother and a retiree.  I'm often lost in space and trying to figure out who I am now.  Not.a.clue.  I know who I am politically and morally.  Nothing will change my mind on the concept of diversity and the value of peace and meeting in the middle yet I feel powerless to make a difference.  There's too much bullshit involved with our ability to make good things happen.

This is not a pity party by any means.  Just a small meltdown.  I will keep the faith and never stop believing that God is good.  All the time ^j^

pinching pennies

I am now to the point where I'm having to maneuver things around to get payments made with the majority of the money available the 2nd Wednesday of the month.  Costs keep rising on everything, especially gas and food.  That's pretty much why I eat off the budget menu at Sonic.  A trip to Kroger costs 100 minimum and my refrigerator looks like a bachelor's pad.  Until my benefits ran out at the sawmill, I was pretty much set for awhile but that's gone.  At some point I may have to go back to work doing something, and I'm not sure what.  Going on faith here.  

Living single is tough without the other half of the rent and I've done it for a long time.  There are times when I think I should have just stuck out the marriage for that reason.  The things that have happened between then and now are mind boggling.  My ex died three years ago without ever getting a dime from SS.  Everything he worked and paid for over the years was free money for the government.  I could draw it but not his and mine too and it's less than mine so it's just gone.  I can't help but think that there's some geek up in a government office calculating how much can be made when people die before becoming eligible.  I'm sure there's a formula.  Actually it's just a crapshoot.  

I'm feeling sort of cynical about life today.  Like everybody else in the country I'm still in shock over the frequency of mass shootings.  I don't claim to have the answer other than to keep fighting back.  Having Oliver North as the president of the NRA is sort of like going from bad to worse.  Just because he's a veteran ( check his history ) doesn't mean he will do what's right for the American people.  Mueller is our only hope here and it won't surprise me at all if the Trump administration finds a way around it.  Please Lord.....fix this mess.  I cannot fathom losing a child, particularly to gun violence.  Kelly Clarkson tearfully asked not for a moment of silence but a moment of action on the Billboard awards.  She's a Texas girl herself.  

Considering my mood, I think it's time to listen to some Hezikiah Walker.  Over and out with prayers for peace and unity  ^j^

out of nowhere

Lauren and I woke up early and she was ready to snuggle that baby so we packed up and headed toward Jackson.  The drive goes a lot faster when you have somebody with you, even if they are on FB the whole time.  We listened to music and didn't talk much.  This is the most time we've spent together since Reaves was born and it was nice to bond as mother and daughter.  My next job is to get the floors clean enough for a crawler.  She hauled out a box of pictures and whatnot so that made a small dent on the office piles.  

Reaves was glad to see both of us, especially her Mama.  I left them snuggling with a bottle getting ready for a nap.  She's a wild one for sure.  She can stand holding onto something and attempts to pull up but often needs help.  Both of these girls have my heart.  I suppose that's why as I turned on the lane at home the tears started running down my cheeks.  There are times when I feel grief coming back from all the losses and stresses of the past few years.  That's when I try my best to focus on ME and my spiritual well being.  

It has been three years since the string of deaths in our family began.  In January Daddy's sister died and in June Mom's sister Nancy and also Lauren's daddy.  Couple of months later was Daddy.  Then Mama five months after that.  I have one remaining aunt and a handful of cousins plus my brothers so I'm blessed in that respect.  The five years of constant running and fetching for housebound parents was grueling for us but I'm glad we we were there for them.  It's the right thing to do.

Lauren took back the framed collage of my parents that the funeral home gave us when Mama died.  She misses all of them.  Yesterday was the next to last chapter of a very long ordeal for her.  I am proud beyond words of how hard she has worked for a better life for she and the baby.  The next step is to find her an affordable vehicle so she doesn't have to get rides everywhere.  She will be like a bird out of the cage!

Due to generous rain and heat the corn children are now young teenagers and growing fast.  That will last until August.  And so it goes.....life on the farm.

Chin up ^j^

home sweet home

I went down to the cabin this morning to check out the decking and found Bubba and the tree trimming man up on it watching a snake curl up and around the concrete cracks on the logs. He stayed still for the longest time then went on the move and we watched that too.  He headed south but then turned around and hugged the wall all the way to the kitchen door where he promptly entered and found a cool spot. Somewhere.  It's so dark in there you can't see anything so I stepped lightly as Bubba laid out the rest of "the plan" for the home we grew up in.  At one time all five of us slept upstairs there...each kid with a room and Mom and Daddy in the sitting area.  We had one bathroom for the five of us.  Harvey made some design decisions yesterday after meeting with the crew.  The crawlspace under the house had to be dug out by hand to even get to the point where they could do what they did which is jack up the foundation and create a 3 ft crawlspace sealed in.  

I don't ever remember it NOT being vinyl sided but where the windows and some walls have been removed you can clearly see the three layers of log, cedar siding and vinyl which will come down soon.  We did a room by room tour with him showing me where everything will be to maximize efficiency in the small spaces.  Steps to the front and back porches will be wide, user friendly with handrails.  I just hope I live long enough to see it all happen!  Looking more like Novemberish now.  In addition to the outside choices there is plumbing and rewiring to get done HVAC to install, etc.  

I met Lauren for lunch while she took a break from her meeting and we ate at the Bus Stop which now doesn't have brisket!  Dang man.  That was the biggest seller.  Asian salad with brisket was my go to.  I was disappointed to say the least.  The atmosphere is different without Eric.  I woke up to Lauren poking me to go get coffee because she's on Reaves time.  Mike sent her pictures of dat baby peering through the holes of the pack and play.  Looks like she's in jail...lol.  

Auntie Erica and her bunch are on a camping trip having a blast.  She gave me a sample of some body butter that, even though I'm broke, I will purchase because my skin needs something badly.  It smells like heaven.  I've been catching the highlights of the royal wedding and it appears that a good time was had by all.  I don't care who you are, it's good to see happy and smiling these days.  A little royal never hurt anybody.

I caught up on Handmaid's Tale and it just keeps getting more bizarre.  Aunt Lydia is the devil herself.  We watched a strange history of dude from The Sex Pistols this morning which was new to me and quite a disturbing story.  I wasn't into that genre if you know what I mean.

We're having daily chances of pop up showers so it's humid as the dickens.  Still, the redneck water hose is running in case we get missed today.  It's kind of taken off with all this hot weather and I have spotted squash and cucumbers.  All the herbs are thriving.  A few flowers here and there and two tomato plants is all the rest.  Low maintenance.  I think it's the fish emulsion that's helping...thanks Lorna!

My friend Carol was having a 'shroom problem with hers and found that the culprit was mulch which makes the bed too acidic.  I used organic hummus on mine ( thanks again Lorna ) and have only seen one and it's shriveling up.  It was a funny sight watching the hispanic guy tell the young 'un the other day what asparagus looks like and "do not cut".  He was much older and wiser.  

If you have a dream, don't let go of it.  As long as there is hope, anything is possible ^j^

busy busy

I was overdue for a pap smear so I rolled out of bed in time to see Dr. Joyner.  He was on call but luckily nobody was in labor so I got in and out.  The farm owner Harvey is here from Michigan and Bubba told me they would be having a morning meeting at the cabin so I headed there after my appointment.  He is a charming man with a sincere interest in the history of the farm that has been in family for 100 years.  I left the construction crew talking to he and Bubba about the project.  

By then it was time to hit 412 and get some baby loving while picking Lauren up for the trip to D'burg.  We went to get a script filled for her and headed to El!Patio!*clap* where we saw Gigi and Bear.  She wanted to go check out Flirty Birds for something to wear to dinner tonight with Anna and I wandered around looking and wanted everything in the store.  What I ended up with was an embroidered peasant shirt that is perfect for me.  One of Lauren's high school friends owns it and they jabbered about kids and life.  Perfect mother daughter day.

Another school shooting.  More rhetoric.  And everybody and their brother is back biting over gun rights.  I'm so disgusted with the whole thing I could puke.  There has to be a common sense approach to gun rights.  As I've said before, I believe that responsible gun ownership is a right guaranteed by the Constitution but so is separation of church and state and you see where that's gotten us.  Extremists on both sides of the aisle have taken up their own causes and forgotten the law as it was originally written for we the people. In order to form a more perfect union.  I'm sure they're rolling over right now.  

I've not had a day this active in a very long time and my body can tell it.  I'm passing on dinner to chillax and let the girls and Conner catch up on quality time.  

Y'all keep looking ahead ^j^

it's not the heat....

Well it kinda' is but the humidity is the culprit.  I took my walk early so it wasn't real hot but sticky as the devil.  Then I did some tree trimming and weed pulling and decided that I'm too old for that kind of activity when it's hot.  I might have a stroke or something.  I noticed that the kudzu hill has popped out due to the hot weather so before long it will be covering the hill and crossing the road.  There are some very large heaps scattered around the county and one particular gully on a curvy two lane has one that you could drive off into and nobody would find you 'til first frost.  I always think of Gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson when considering kudzu.  I have that book signed by her as well as Between, Georgia.  Good old southern girl reading.  Problem is I don't have a clue where they are.  Or anything else.  

My living room is full of piles and furniture NOT arranged until I find out whether or not I'm moving.  That's the plan, but plans change.  I don't count anything as reality until it actually happens.  Like, you know, counting chickens before they're hatched.  That never works out well.

I'm still steady stretching attempting to keep my mobility at a decent level.  I miss my time with Gay but money is tight so there ya' go.  My regimen includes daily tumeric and CBD oil for inflammation.  The only NSAID that I use is BCs.  Blood pressure is ( I'm assuming ) stabilized.  Hypothyroidism under treatment.  Allergies are horrific!  So now you know the state of my health...haha.

Ya'll be safe and happy.  And remember like your mama used to say "some day you'll look back on this and laugh."  And you know what?  She was right on.

live and learn

I made my third trip for razor blades and a scraper after finding that double edge flimsy will cut thee and single edge without a handle does nothing on 30 year old paint.  I met an interior wall design expert at the checkout and she showed me what to get while waiting for checkout.  Made a new friend!  

We had a rogue thunderstorm yesterday afternoon that resulted in a faint rainbow that was right where it always is ending on top of the barn.  I took it as a promise which I always do.  I also had a spider totem.  Oh, and a lizard.  Critters critters everywhere.

I'm working on trying to organize a fundraiser for a local drug recovery ministry and it's like pulling teeth to get anybody to be a part of it.  There are a few of us committed to the cause and if we see that it's not gonna' fly, that's okay.  At least we tried.  I totally understand that businesses are swamped daily with requests for help.  As a family member of a recovering addict, I feel the need of this ministry on a personal level.  

Lauren is coming home for a day or two without Reaves to take care of some business.  Auntie Erica and Daddy will be in charge while she's gone.  Her best friend Kim has a new babygirl named Clara who is absolutely beautiful.  These days will give us some rare mother daughter time.  

Keep the faith ~

splish splash

My friend Mitzi Lou texted this morning that she's off today and her pool is open so I wasted no time getting into the bathing suit and over to her house.  It's a gorgeous place and I enjoyed visiting with her while swimming.  She stayed out of the sun and I didn't tarry long because it's first time out and I don't need a burn having a history of squamous cell carcinoma.  The water was perfect.  

When I stopped at the chicken store I noticed a guy with a bright red truck bed FULL of bagged Vidalia onions that were sold by the local Civitan Club as their annual fundraiser.  He had a couple of extras and graciously offered me one.  As we chatted I found that he knew my Daddy and brother well and had worked with them on several projects as agricultural extension agent.  Small world.  

It is still odd to me to be unemployed, though not in a bad way.  I'm figuring out things day by day that make me happy now that my mind is not focused on survival.  The past year at the sawmill was a nightmare and now the transition is going on with owner #4.  I would be a basket case if I was all up in that because I pretty much was when I went out.  

The little corn children surrounding me are growing quick and soon I'll be boxed in for the summer.  One of the things we have to be careful with is deer coming outta' nowhere to cross the road.  You can't see them until they exit the corn and run into the road.  I've never hit one but Lauren did once.  It was a female and the buck stood guard by her body forever.  

My prayer for me and you and the whole world is happiness, prosperity and peace.  Especially peace.  

^j^

squeaky clean

I have lived here for 30 years and the place has never been pressure washed.  Today's the day kids!  I asked him if I needed to cover the garden and he said there a little bit of bleach in the mixture but not enough to hurt.  Mostly soap.  Corporate is coming this week so it's time to spruce up.  It's already hot as hades and I was soaking wet when I got in from errands and found him at work.  

I was behind a darling young mother with her 18th month old in line at the 'gentral and she was buying him one of those big plastic pools.  He actually put her debit card into the chip reader then had a fit when it had to come out.  Threw his pacifier on the floor.  We just smiled at each other knowing that kids will be kids.  One of the things I stopped for was double edged razor blades to clean up these windows.  Like to have NEVER found them amongst the disposable razors.  

I try my best to stay humble and grateful.  There is not a mean bone in my body because I'm a bleeding heart liberal and love everybody.  I unintentionally caused hurt to a friend and I am broken hearted about that but I can't fix it.  It was not on purpose....simply a mistake.  I thought about it today when I went into Sunflower to get some soap.  My friend Steve has lost his Dad which is always hard.  They got to see each other last year after many long years of no contact.  At least he's got that.  

I don't know the details on the embassy move to Jerusalem but it's causing all hell to break loose between the Israelis and Palestine.  Just what we need to make this country look even more like the enemy.  I am over discussing politics with people who don't have an open mind.  No problem ever got solved by trolling and disrespect.  

As for me?  All is well.  

on being a mother

I was fortunate to have one of the sweetest southern ladies ever as a mom.  She was old school to the bone on the social graces of southern life and I learned from her.  She taught me to cook....well.  She encouraged me to be nice and polite.  It was from my Daddy that I learned to take no shit.  Everybody had a birthday party every year and each holiday was celebrated as if it were the last on earth.  She taught me the value of friendship and how it enriches your life.  At the end, she would scream at me as I walked out of the assisted living.  "Come back here young lady...I'm your MOTHER!"  When she realized she was dying, she found comfort in her children.  

As for me, I was never mother of the year.  I worked hard, played hard and raised Lauren to be a bit of a rebel like me.  I hated going to volleyball and basketball games which I "urged" her to do.  Watching her with Reaves I feel that I failed her as a baby because I didn't do near the cuddling that they do.  She appreciates the gift of her daughter who already has the little rebel oozing out.  

I was otha' motha' to a ton of kids who couldn't talk to their own parents.  That was my co-dependent side but it felt right.  You never know when a conversation without judgement can change a life.  I had a bunch of teenage girls one day with crayons and paper at my kitchen table doing art therapy which is what I started with.  

Teach your children well ~

the greatest gift

I arrived to find Lauren and Reaves still asleep this morning.  They had gotten up at 6 and went back down.  Reaves woke up when I came in so I took over for a couple of hours for Lauren to get some much needed rest.  We played like demons going in and out of the pollen filled day.  While we were sunning her daddy dropped by for a brief visit because he was working across the street.  She totally adores the man and when I stood up reached for him.  He likes to fly her around and let her to yoga by hanging upside down.  She eats it up.  We visited Sammy and his Mom Jo and then Aunt Holly and Jonathan.  By that time the kid was smooth wore out but still fighting it.  I started the bottle and Lauren finished it up and I left with her holding that sweet angel sound asleep.  Cherish the moments, that's what she does.  

Which is what we all should do because life goes way too fast.  I was thinking in regards to the class reunion how many more won't be there this time.  Who knew that this would be my 2nd "white rose" Mother's day.  I remember one time my poor husband didn't know that the white one meant dead and mine was very much alive.  I refused to wear it but looking back I think she would have found the humor in it.  

I will visit the graveyard tomorrow with a bunch of peonies, knowing that she is not there.  Her friend Jeanne called yesterday to tell me she's bringing a picture she found of six of us little kids sitting in a front porch swing,  I'll be hooking up with her at Angel's Crown Center on Tuesday.  

Unconditional love should be what our children get.  That doesn't mean give them everything and let'em run wild.  It simply means to be accepted for who you are and not shamed for not being like them.  And particularly not pursuing your own lost dreams THROUGH them.  

Agape ~

easy breezy

The walk is, indeed, getting easier.  Today there was a nice breeze thus lower humidity.  That makes a world of difference.  The poison ivy is thriving as usual.  It's insane how big it gets on those pecan trees and in the woods.  Of course the dogs get all up in it while I'm walking so I'll be lucky if I don't get broken out.  

I'm already getting a farmer's tan so I shopped JC Penney for 5 dolla' tank tops and some shorts.  That will be my summer uniform since no.more.scrubs.  I've spent the morning networking from home on a fundraiser for Damascus.  They are the only opiate recovery center in Dyersburg and they are certified in Narcan administration.  They are trying to raise funds for inpatient beds for clients but it's a slow go.  They don't get much attention like the other non-profits do.  Anywho...we'll see what happens there.  What started as a jail ministry has grown into something that we really need in this area because of the abundance of meth and opiates around here.  There is no inpatient facility for men.  

I passed a guy today in a white Dodge Ram truck who was highly dissatisfied with his purchase, enough so that he wrote all OVER the truck in red that he bought a lemon and how much it cost, etc.  He even had a balloon flying from the window!  I admire that on many levels.  

Happy Mother's day to all you muthas' out there or anybody who has acted as  one.  As we all know, it takes a village.

Peace ~

country girl

The really cool thing about where I live is that it's a nature reserve but only 5 minutes from town.  I visited Fyrne Lake Farm today and was absolutely in awe of that 2800 acre piece of paradise.  Our lovely tour guide Shannon Hall took us all around in her car which included a couple of pretty steep terraces down to the lakeside pavilion.  There are two other venues as well.  But boy is it out in the boonies!!  We passed a wild turkey in the corn field.  Mamye and I then made our rounds which included Mexico! for lunch.  They still had leftover hats and banners from Saturday.  I've never had to stand in line there before ever.  It was OUT the door.  

My friend Kim is being induced today and my prayer is that she not have as bad an induction as Lauren had, lerd.  Miss Clara is on her way!  Kim was the one who never left our sides during Lauren's big ordeal.  Shortly after that, she found that she was pregnant with Clara.  

The circle of life ~

breakfast with lorna

It has turned into a routine for us, meeting up at Dave's to eat and then heading on over to The Mill.  We did just that this morning and I met up with an old friend and classmate who is running for a county political office.  He faces stiff competition from a multi term incumbent so when he asked for my vote, I asked for a discussion of just WHY we as voters should go for him.  We talked a long while about his experience in business, the military and management plus involvement with the county as a current member of the county commission.  I asked lots of questions and he had lots of answers.  I feel good about supporting his campaign now and about urging others to do so.  

Every vote in every election counts and the uninformed voter is the biggest danger we face.  If you go into a booth and vote for people you know NOTHING about just because of their party, you're part of the problem.  Think outside the box people!  

I stopped by Lowe's on the way home and sweated in line at the garden center while people bought multiple bags of dirt and such.  It's already humid and the temp is supposed to be up to 90 by the weekend.  I am not ready for this.  What happened to spring????

Anyways, y'all enjoy the day.  As for me I will stay hydrated and cool.  

walking man

My daddy was a big time walker after he retired and would go the distance before he got unable.  I remember one time he had made it all the way down to the dead end of Samaria Bend and fell.  A neighbor found him and daddy refused an ambulance so Danny brought him home.  I arrived to find him covered in blood and had to get him in the shower to clean things up.  His face head and arms were a hot mess from hitting the gravel so hard.  Mama couldn't see real good so she didn't realize how awful it looked, thank goodness.  By the way, that was NOT the only time he refused an ambulance.  

One mother's day I was taking them home from church and he walked smack into the porch post and went down in a heap.  That turned into a hospital admission for pneumonia which I also had at the same time.  We were PITIFUL.  He kept telling the nurses I should be in the bed beside him.  I think about him when I walk and soak in the nature.  I made myself do the 1/2 mile this morning.  Again, nothing fancy.  Just a walk.  

Mother's day is coming up and I'm hoping to get some grammaw time that weekend.  We never know about the schedule where Lauren works.  I still miss my Mama like crazy and especially holidays because she loved them so much.  

Love ya....mean it.

a new day

I have been in sloth mode for about four months now while recovering from surgery and I have started with day one of 1/2 mile.  I worked up a sweat and kept a keen eye out for mr snake.  This was not power walking or even walking fast.  It was drag your ass until you're done walking.  It will get easier and after a week I'll move on to the one mile which includes a ginormous hill.  I have no excuse now not to do it.  

I visited my FNP this morning for a recheck on the BP issue.  It was better and we tweaked the med a little She gave me a script and a coupon card for Chantix but when I checked on the cash pay price it is a whopping 400 bucks.  

The painting is coming right along and that piece is gonna' be gorgeous.  Lauren had a cow when she saw I had painted a window but it was just an ancient one with no glass.  Practice, so to speak.  I ran into my friend Jennifer at the chicken store and she is recovering nicely from her RTC repair with almost full range of motion.  We talked to her darling husband on speakerphone out front.  Gotta' love it.

Have a wonderful week and always remember who you are.  

bloom where you are planted

My friends Bill and Susan own a nursery that is like walking in fairyland.  When I pulled up yesterday he was unloading flats of annuals for the masses that are finally coming.  This has been a  late start for gardeners and providers alike.  I got a pot of basil there with EIGHT plants in it for five bucks.  Plus, they have fish emulsion.  I had seen some gorgeous begonias at Gay's house so I got one of those and an orange one too.  Nice colors.  

The chest top got a coat of the chalk paint yesterday and will get a repeat shortly.  I ran into a dilemma which is that the drawers won't come all the way out so the hardware can be removed and the drawers painted.  I'll figure out a way around it.  

I had intended to go to Jackson this morning but Lauren needs a me day and I saw them and got sugars yesterday.  That will last 'til next Friday.  

Y'all play nice umkay?

live from the mill

I'm sitting here at "the office" waiting for Lauren and Reaves to show up in town. She has some business to take care of downtown so we're gonna have a short meet and greet.  No sooner than I got this started and took a bathroom break, she called and they were rolling into town.   I got to have a short visit with Lauren, Kim and of course BabyReaves.  She now has one tooth and a mama who is finally fine free, praise Jesus.  There are more hoops to jump through but it's a miracle she's gotten this far.  Her PO is a wonderful guy who is a great grandpa himself so he enjoyed getting to see the baby.  Probation ended eons ago but those pesky fines had to be paid to get a driver's license.  Once that is accomplished and she has a car, they can come visit grammaw whenever.  

Reaves is such a good natured baby.  Unless she's hungry or tired she's happy as a lark most of the time and BUSY.  I got my chalk paint and will begin shortly on project #1 with pictures to follow.  I also picked up basil #4 and some cucumber sets plus a couple of to die for beautiful begonias.  Rain is coming so it's time to plant.  

Don't worry....be happy.

southbound

  A bunch of old friends and I headed to Lauderdale county for  lunch at Charlene's and had THE best time catching up.  The stuff in their shoppes is way high but I couldn't resist a tin cut out that says "you got this."  The little general paid for my lunch so I felt entitled to splurge. I also got a candle 40% off.  Before dropping me back off on the hill several of us literally crawled up on the porch of the cabin so they could see what it looks like now.  They had seen it before during the estate sales.  Not only did I get Mama's bed back but the friend who bought her vintage dresser with mirror and refinished said  she's giving it back to me!  Lord, karma can be good sometimes.

I was excited to find that The Handmaid's Tale is running its' 2nd season.  Evidently June made it following her season 1 arrest.  I've also enjoyed The Hero with Sam Elliott but then I could just watch him chew gum and be satisfied.  Who needs cable when you've got Hulu and Netflix.

For the life of me I still can't understand all the hooplah about Michelle Wolf's performance.  I even went back and watched again to see if there was something I missed.  One of my friends suggested that they invite the children's choir next time if they can't take a joke.  I also went back and watched Colbert's presentation when Dubya was president and that particular POTUS and all involved laughed it up like it was nothing.  What's the difference?

Y'all be careful out there.  And keep the faith ^j^

he said she said

Tommy and I met for breakfast again before he left on his last leg of the journey....to Big Sandy.  His friend has a place on the lake that's their haven during good weather.  Normally he would have met Charmaine Freeman at Mary Lou's which is all about airport.  There is a wall of pictures of her as a pilot instructor which she did until the age of 88 and lots of her trainees.  She didn't teach Tommy but taught the guy who taught HIM!  Mary Lou used to have a restaurant at the airport and the food awesome.  There is nothing there anymore but empty buildings and private planes.  I hear maybe one corporate jet every day or so.  Not at all as active as it used to be except when the army comes with those loud helicopters.  They usually hang around and play for a bit..

It has been really nice to visit with my brother without having to work around "work."  We have spent the last two days exploring, networking and gossiping about everybody and his brother.  Some people never change...heh.  It's just that we know so much about so many and their ways.  He was in business here for a short while as founder and director of a TV station for which he and a partner purchased a tower.  It didn't take long for that to get dismantled by investors and board members.  But they didn't own the tower.  Hmmm.

I'm kind on a planting hiatus because my luck has been so bad.  I do have some new coleus and cuttings in the window.  Basil #3 didn't make it so I think I'll try another vendor on that.  Heck I might just put fairies out in that garden like Gay to keep things mystical.  

There are rifts in every family and I'm warmed by the fact that most of ours have been healed.  We are who we are and love each other warts and all.  

Hug somebody.  I've already had a bunch of 'em!

in the cosmos

My youngest brother and I have a bond that is really unique and I cherish it.  We talk almost daily and see each other twice a year.  His life is a beehive of activity with two kids and a wife/business partner in a magazine called Blue Ridge Life.  They own a farm with all the manual labor that comes along with that.  Those kids are living the dream.

He rolled in late yesterday visiting folks along the way.  We met Lorna for breakfast then tromped on over to The Mill for a look see.  Chris was there and they got to meet and went into this deep chatter about tech stuff and Lorna and I were like "huh?"  She brought me some coleus to do cuttings with from the grand opening of The Mill.  

Tommy scooped me up at the house and we went to explore the cabin.  We wandered up the steps and marveled at how a place that seemed so big when we were children had shrunk, or seemed smaller.  I stood at that big open window in Mama's room gazing out across the familiar landscape with the wind whistling.  What was once a sad place now seems like not "the home we had" but a piece of history that will be refurbished to its' original glory.  He's out running the familiar roads as we speak.

To you and yours I beg :  Please lighten up and stop taking offense to every little thing.  It's bad for your health and the mental health of others,  If you troll me, please be respectful, state your view and don't use all caps.  That's like screaming.  

There's your social media etiquette tip of the day compliments of the Poopster.