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Every day I come here and do the thing...you know that.  Usually there's some thing from my day that gets me to thinking and I just run with it.  This one wasn't too bad all things considered.  I'm sittin' here listening to Little Stevie and considering options and priorities.  Plus I get to sleep late for 2 days.  Tina Belle has been my wakeup call for the past two because my alarm was wonky.  I'm old and tired, what can I say.  

The worm is turning and it doesn't make me one bit happy.  It's so sad that enough voters were stupid enough to vote for this disgrace of a leader.  His presidency reads like a bad spy novel.  Yep, I'm in a mood.  

Peace out ~

drama

Oh.My.God. What a freakin' day!  We were spared from a tornado last night and I woke up surprised to not be blown into the field.  It's so odd how those cells will just splinter on a whim.  Work was busy busy and everybody had things on their mind.  The usual cluster.  

A big thunderstorm moved through right before I left so the timing was good on that.  By the time I got to Southtown the sun was out.  I'm afraid to even look in the basement because the snakes will be swimming in the muck.  Time to block that door.  

I've been doing arm pulls on Sondra all day to release some of that right shoulder tension.  It all starts in the neck and shoulder area and eventually the limb goes numb.  Stretching the fascia allows the trapped nerves and muscles to relax.  Easy peasy PLUS physical therapist created and approved.  John Barnes.  Google it.  

Speaking of which Gay and Sandy are at the beach while the rest of us poor souls carry on.  Next time I'm hitching a ride with these two.  We are sisters by choice just like a bunch of others.  Whenever I have found the world too much to bear, they come out of the woodwork as a tribe holding my hand and chanting"You can do this"

^j^

  

the perfect storm

Here we go again with the monster tornado making weather dammit.  Big hugs to the Dyersburg EOC for getting those sirens up and running.  I ran into an old friend of BG's this morning at the chicken store, both of us headed for duty.  He's a first responder with the Dyersburg Fire Department.  Y'all can't imagine how many it takes to save a life.  You look great Meeks.

The sawmill was (anything but quiet) because all we hear is centrifuges and such.  Lots of technology lives in that lab.  We have two new chemistry analyzers coming on board soon.  All of this automation is overseen by trained professionals who review results before they are released to physicians.  If there is an alert value meaning " out of range " then it is called to the patient unit and ultimately passed onto said physicians. There's a lot of interfacing involved.  My badge still didn't work today so I guess I'm fired. 

I sat at a table with peers today and discussed things that we all know are important.  Today, I felt that my voice was heard.  It was in that very room where bossfriend and I faced the entire surgical team including a very angry anesthesiologist and absent surgeon for an RCA.  We got absolutely crucified that day. It was all OUR fault because the surgeon wasn't aware he could ask for emergency release of blood when he fucked up had a patient in distress.  There was a freaking notebook full of pages with his signature.  Exhibit A.  His partner saved his ass as long as he could but then went on with his life.  Once I went and picked Roy up at the service station where he was getting an oil change.  OR needed him!

Here's to all of us who save lives and even the ones who don't. At least we try ~

baby week

At last count there was one delivered and cute as heck, one on the way out....no make that two.  And a first heartbeat recorded live by Bethany.  I am quite impressed with this facility if you know what I mean.  They partner with Jackson General and provide excellent early care for high risk patients.  I played with more than one baby in the waiting room today.  They have the technology to provide quality care.  I even saw an interpreter step up for a patient.  It takes a village.

After that we hit up Sonic and headed to our respective places.  Mamye was gracious enough to give us a ride for the whole deal with her recently reworked transmission and bearing or something like that.  I have never bought a lottery ticket in my life and she grabbed us a couple of Jumbo Bucks at the pit stop in Bells.  That's where we met the Palestinian who speaks perfect English except on the phone with his mom.  Born in Chicago...homegrown.  Some troll who was trying to fill up his truck asked him if he's a terrorist.  Lots of sketchy people live in that motel.  

We barely escaped an alleged tornado yesterday plus baseball size hail.  I watched the whole thing play out praying for a rainbow for my buddy. And you know what?  It happened.  Skies are clear and blue today.  Just another day in paradise.

 

first wave

We just had a big old thunder boomer and there's another one right behind it so it's "the calm before the storm."  I can hear the birds again like earlier this morning when I was out and about.  Got a new card, thanks Holly.  Picked up some groceries and sent the $$ and then headed back to pick flowers and asparagus.  That's when the communication started happening in rapid fire sequence.  

There is some drama in our midst that is frankly quite scary.  I'm not talking specifically about any one situation but more about the selfishness of so many people and their inability to have empthy.  Actions have consequences.  To blame those on someone else is very dishonorable.  I can honestly say that I have never failed to own a mistake and try to make it right.  That's just how I'm made.  Therapy helped a LOT.

That being said, I'm hoping that the fact that my badge doesn't work isn't a sign that I'm being locked out of work because mommy needs a job.  I called IT about it.  We'll see on Wednesday.  Tomorrow is baby day for me and Lauren.  She needs bigger clothes too.

Here's hoping I don't end up in Kansas~

mayhem

You know how sometimes it seems like little gremlins are running around laughing over the chaos they cause you?  It's been that kind of week for me.  All.week.long.  I went out at lunch yesterday to send BG a moneygram only to find no debit card in my wallet.  Crap.  I was also picking up lunch for the crew and needed the card for that.  Fortunately I had 29 buccks cash in my purse and the total was 28.33.  I spent a good amount of time trying to backtrack where I had last used it and called the last one hoping somebody had turned it in.  Nada.  I only have two kitchen chairs capable of holding up an adult ass so when I ended up with four people at the table yesterday I drug out one of my grandmother's antique ones forgetting that somebody else had sort of "cracked" it the other day.  We were all sitting there visiting when all of a sudden the seat of that old chair fell out and I went into the chair frame folded up with my back against the seat frame.  It happened so quick that nobody quite knew how to react but I saw the disbelief in their faces as I went into the hold.  Lordy it's a wonder I didn't break my back.  Instead there's a bruise all the way across my lower back and a small scratch.  Gay of MFR fame was here and she helped centered me standing to check things out after P helped me out of the floor and carried off the chair for future repair.  

It rang my bell pretty good.

I had been checking my account online and saw no activity but then the alleged user wouldn't know the pin and would have to run it as credit so that doesn't show up for a couple of business days.  I finally got scared enough to call and have it de-activated and lo and behold I got a phone call from a familiar number about an hour later.  It was Jason at the Kroger pharmacy calling to tell me somebody found my card!  Which is now not usable!   Sheesh.  I must have dropped it in a rush to get that monegram on its' way.  Which TOTALLY didn't happen.

There's this really busy intersection by the hospital on the road to the high school which is a total disaster at drop off and pick up times.  Years ago it was made a 4 way stop and so many people had wrecks they changed it back to a straight shot down Parr.  I noticed yesterday that it's a four way again and there was a cop sitting at the chicken store monitoring compliance as a sort of trial run.  It will be interesting to see how school/hospital/nursing home traffic flows with this new development.  Maybe it's a tactic to divert traffic toward the highways.  If it were me coming and going, I'd use the front entrance of DHS from now on.  

There is asparagus up in all three places.  Bring on spring ~

the rest of the story

I got a message today from someone who reads my blog and evidently I hurt some feelings.  I apologized even though I never even called him by name.  My semi-anonymous story on a piddly little blog was posted following the real deal posted on FB by someone else.  I didn't even know it.  

I see now why people make up character names for the folks at "the office" because you'll get chastised for speaking your mind on an independent site.  I am enough of a journalist to respect privacy.  I once got called out for talking about the sawill because "everybody knows that's where you work."  HIPPA is my friend and yours.  My time there has turned into a chaplaincy of sorts, meeting with the ones who know me and shooting the shit in between running lab tests and saving lives.  It's complicated and I'm just taking it a day at a time.

The repeal of the GOP healthcare thingy is a good thing.  What's so funny to me is that the moderates and right wingers worked against each other.  Maybe there is a God after all.  I've had a houseful of company this afternoon and all of them have better cars than me.  I guess that's why they come HERE!!

Plus, they love me big ~

grand theft bernie

As I was leaving the sawmill today one of the EVS guys asked me what happened to my Bernie bumper sticker. "You drive....that old Camry right? "  At that second I realized that I hadn't noticed it for awhile.  I found a stickerless bumper in the parking lot and was kind of amused that somebody would take the time to peel it off.  It's a collector's item, you know.  Anyway, maybe that's a sign that a new car is in my future.  One can always hope and pray for unicorns and rainbows.  Or even make your own!  

My friend and his family are on a vigil that is sacred and emotionally exhausting.  There are pregnant girls under stress and worn out mama'n'them.  I have looked squarely into the faces of so many dying people that I couldn't begin to estimate the souls that were passing over in the room where I was standing.  Nobody expects it.  Most are afraid of it.   Mama's last words to T were "don't leave me" and "don't let me hurt". 

There is a kinder and gentler way to pass on and sadly, for many it's not that way.  They die in hospitals doing diagnostics that show this that or the other resulting in referrals to their system.  They all work this way whether for profit or not.  The key word here is choice.  Most patients take what a doctor says as the gospel because well, they're a doctor.  Very few have the empathy and wisdom to say " do the next right thing."  Dr. A was one of those for my family.  Dr. C was another.  

Hospice is all about community...a coming together of people who care and want to ease the transition for entire families.  Elisabeth K Ross established a hospice for AIDS patients in Afton Virginia many years ago.  I've read probably every book she wrote.  I found it  an in the cosmos kind of thing when that is where my brother moved.  I'd have never heard of it except for EK.  And of course Earl Hamner over there on Walton's Mountain.  

I know, I think too much ~!

 

age trumps intention

I used to adore spending hours in the yard piddling and pruning.  Like my father, I knew where everything was planted and what needed what kind of care.  When I first moved here there was a huge forsythia "tree" all wrapped in honeysuckle....big mess.  I tackled it like a trojan and cleaned it up to where it's a normal size bush.  There's some kind of cane thing that blooms in August...very unusual.  When it dies off you have to physically remove the canes for the new growth to emerge.  I did that today and it kicked my old ass.  Ryan takes very good care of my yard and has cleaned it up superbly but there's something in me that still wants to get out there and give it the old college try.  The tiny saplings that I bought for a buck from the Arbor Day foundation have grown into full size apple trees and one that is strictly for decoration.  That one is covered in multtflora rose which got me good.  I think I'll wait for the experts.  

Yesterday was a late one at the sawmill so I stayed up late and slept in.  I kept dreaming that I couldn't find my car which was disturbing.  It may be old and ratty but it's all I've got!  I think I'm afraid it's just gonna' give up the ghost and then I'll be really screwed.  One day at a time.

I miss my family, especially BG.  She's happy with life and in a good place but our work schedules don't often mesh for visits.  Plus, she has no ride so it's on me and the trusty Camry.  Every time I hit 412 I pray for safe travel.  I now wear my seat belt ALL the time thanks to two over eager troopers and the threat of a 50 buck fine for next offense.  I guess they made their point.

It is Daddy that I think of most at this time of the year.  We used to walk our respecdtive yards together to see what was poking up out of the earth.  There's some kind of ornamental flowering tree up by the pond near the by-pass right behind the beaver dam.  I've watched those delicate white blooms appear for many many years in my travels up and down the road.  Today I paused to take a picture.  

That cold spell did a number on the garden even though it was covered.  Hostas are up.  There are no tulips due to varmints.  Except for narcissus and grape hyacinth the show is pretty much over until iris time.  The azaleas are not looking at all well except for a random bloom.  Crepe myrtles are out of control except for the one Big John and Little Sharry gave me for my 40th birthday.  There are two dogwoods in the yard that I dug up MYSELF out of the ditch down the road and they are huge.  I miss having the physical stamina to do that sort of thing.  And the time.  

Y'all enjoy the day.  I'll be here doing laundry and attempting to clean the nasty ass house.  It looks much better, but still shows that I have adult ADD.

^j^

this one's for you

When I first met Pat and Tony she was the manager of a brand new deli and bar called "The Deli."  In my early twenties it was the place to hang out and drink beer, eat subs and shoot pool.  My future husband worked there as well.  It was owned by a long gone guy named Doober.  Eventually it was turned into a catfish restaurant and burned down which I'm sure was a big blaze because it was made out of logs.  Pat and I have crossed paths many times over the years, always with a hug and good memories.  Lately she's been pretty sick and I ran into her today.  I knew she had been reading the blog but didn't realize how much she LOVED it until we talked this afternoon.  That makes it all worth while to know that somebody is following the story.  

We got treated to pharma rep lunch today from a very nice Italian place and it's a good thing because nobody had much time to do anything but work like a demon.  After that I sat in my car for a few minutes and returned three hours later to find a dead battery because I left the key in the ignition with the lights on.  Duh.  A kind young man named Kurt boosted me off with his bright red Camry and there I let it run until it was time to make another delivery.  

While we were there Trish was notified of the death of her uncle which shook the whole family.  He was only 59 and already had an appointment on the books for cardiac intervention.  Death came calling first.  God speed to that family and all the others who are dealing with loss and grief like Dave's.  

I still don't recognize my brother's new truck and I passed him and saw Sally in the back so I walked up to chat for a minute about farm history.  A very BRIEF minute, by the way.  Not much on words, he always told Mama "a yes or no answer will do."  Gotta love him.  He had his sidekick with him as usual.  

In spite of today's drama ( and there was plenty ) it was a good one to be alive.  The sun was shining and a chilly breeze blew every time I was in and out.  I met the grandchild of a co-worker, a beautiful five year old named Emma and we immediately hit it off.  I watched in wonder as this child found joy in twirling around and around with a frog umbrella.  To be young again!

Namaste to you and your tribe ~

flashback

Today found me in a room that is quite familiar known as the "family room" for hospice patients.  I've been checking on my buddy for almost a week now and he is out of pain and resting.  Surrounded by family and friends, we shared stories and tears.  My father died in that room alone and it still haunts me that nobody was there with him.  At that time we were too busy trying to get Mama settled down and out of the midst of death.  The last words I heard Daddy speak were "hey Bubba" and "i want to die."  Happy trails Dave.  You are one of a kind.  And God bless hospice.

I visited the ER today and caught up with a nurse  I've that I've worked aroun for eons as well as a shared past as friends.  She looked weary like me and also can't even begin to think about retiring.  It is what it is and we're all in the same boat.  One of my favorite shows of all time is The Office.  The dark humor surrounding corporate ways makes me laugh my ass off.  I only wish I had somebody as cute as Jim for a boyfriend.

I've got a feeling that I might need some extra karma tomorrow so ya'll keep us lifted up.  I'm sitting back and watching in wonder as the future unfolds, one day at a time.  My focus is on engaging ONLY in happy shit or at least non-confrontational unless you need to listen to me type of stuff.  Rachel called today and was pretty confused about the whole other side of the road part of the story.  Now she's got the flu!  

^j^

like a good neighbor

I had an abbeviated day at the sawmill and headed home with big plans for working on the manual.  As I wandered through I noticed Bev's car in the driveway and I figured she was here to look at the garden.  She had other things on her mind like a cheating husband.  We sat on the swing in the breeze going over the details of lies and deceit that led her to what the reality is now for she and her 11 year old daughter.  I remember that feeling all too well.  BG was in fifth grade when we divorced the first time.  I distinctly remember telling Mrs. Eller about it at PT conference and she cried.  So did I.  

Families will weather the storm, no matter how bad it is.  When a split happens there are a lot of people involved but the kids are the ones who have to do the most adapating.  Having grown up in the Cleaver family I wouldn't know.  I do know that it made a dark and lasting impression on my daughter and me but we have weathered that storm together and are warrior women just like Bev and Mia will be.  And all the rest of our tribe!

Must.Water.Straw.  

memory lane

Mamye is carless at the moment so I went out to Holly Springs cemetery to take her for a beer run.  We all used to party there back in the day.  As I was coming back through Fowlkes I remembered campaigning on that strip in the August heat for my brother who was in the sheriff's race.  Dude almost won too, which was remarkable for somebody his age against an incumbent good old boy.  In a small town, name can make a difference at the polling place.  39 votes short of victory.  He would have totally hated the job.  Little miracles.

I slept so long and so hard that when I went to get out of bed every single joint was aching, even my fingers.  I have accomplished next to nothing other than resting and piddling and that's what I need more than gold.  But, I'd take a little gold if it came my way!

Daddy's peony is doing GREAT and I'm excited to see those crimson blooms in my yard.  The little garden took a hit with the cold but part of it should make it.  That big mudhole of a torn up asparagus bed is trying to come to life.  There's a shitload of crowns laying on top if anybody's interested.  

Be kind and love one another ~

the princess mayor

I had to run by the sawmill to approve my time and stopped by the gentral' for one thing.  I haven't seen Mozella in a week or two so I stopped by this morning to find her holding court in the den following breakfast.  Her daughter and daughter in law were there as usual and we visited and chatted about every little thing including the "great flood" where we all got trapped for a week.  Well, except for James Frank and his boat.  They told me about a fish jumping into it and him going apeshit trying to do something with it.   No telling what it was coming from the mighty Forked Deer.  We talked about my parents and missing them and about the future possibility of moving the cabin uphill.  I have a feeling there will be a TV crew and everything if it happens.  I know for sure my reporter friend Rachel has it on her radar.  

It's a beautiful day and all vegetation is uncovered and loving the sunlight.  There was a good rain last night along with thunder and lightning which is what lulled me to sleep.  12 hours later I still didn't want to get up but....so pretty outside!  I've always been able to sleep like the dead if I know there's nowhere to be.  

A Trumpy troll came after me on a post about the cuts to public television and the arts.  I responded intelligently and let it go.  There is no arguing with that flock.  Larry and I had a long conversation/gossipfest yesterday afternoon and he's almost ready to go back to work following heart problems.  A victim of the failing VA medical system he had to jump through a lot of hoops to get it done.  I'm surprised the budget cutters haven't decided to just privatize the whole thing, which may happen yet.  My mother was eligible for VA aid and assistance to help pay for her assisted living following Daddy's death.  It was filed in August and she died the following January without ever seeing a penny.  

My parents were part of a generation where folks were treated fairly and with good planning they were able to maintain a lifestyle that was comfortable.  As a retired USDA employee he drew about 3/4 of what he was making at retirement.  Mom had a teeny tiny monthly SS benefit because she worked for people who didn't pay in due to her employment status, namely the great state of Tennessee.  It's complicated.  

When I retire I will have the monthly SS "entitlement" which will cover my rent basically.  There's a teeny tiny lifetime pension from a previous employer which I already draw at a reduced rate.  Oh, and I pay federal taxes on it.  I'm hoping that at about the time I can't go anymore either Sugardaddy will show up or Lauren will take me in.  Maybe I can afford one of those cute little independent living apartments since I'll be technically poor.  I have no assets....nada.  

So, today there is no agenda and I like that feeling.  It's ideal for endless piddling which ends up with things a little more organized.  Y'all seize the moment, whatever it may be.  

Carpe diem ~

time out

Thanks to the generosity of my co-workers I got to leave two hours early today.  To each of you I give a big fat TGIF hug and a wow card.  This old gal was dragging.  As fate would have it I found an old film picture of a young lady who is one of our patients and delivered it to her in person today.  She was accompanied by aunt'n'friend.   Sometimes I think that I overanalyze the meaning of things but that?  Running across that picture on the day I saw her.  Um, that's a God thing.

I'm waiting to see if it rains before I tackle the water hose.  At 60% the odds are kinda sorta with me.  I feel like I'm in the twilight zone because of all the chaos.  I haven't taken the time to center in quite awhile.  Now is that time.  

Shhhhhhh~

happy days

That is one of my favorite shows of all time.  It reminds me of days when life was simpler and more fair in many ways and there was a rock solid middle class doing well in America.  People had dreams that were attainable with hard work and dedication.  Somewhere between then and now, that glass has been shattered by those in the political and corporate greed sector.  Today's budget proposal magnifies just how heartless this administration is.  What I understand is spend more on defense ( like that's ever gotten us anywhere other than in the middle of business that is not ours ) and the wall plus huge cuts to arts, humanities and services for the marginalized.  Not to mention a run at the SCOTUS by Trumpy over his highly touted Muslim ban.  We are not great.  We are broken.

The ACA increased the Medicare tax on high earners in order to stabilize the fund for all.  This current piece of shit plan drops that increase on those who can afford it.  Oh, I'm sorry.  You can't afford your summer house payment without that tax cut?  How sad.  Now you can!

This whole thing is not gonna' be pretty and will get worse before it gets better.  Lots worse.  Now is the time for people of sound mind to work the system to the advantage of all rather than the brotherhood of cronies.  My dream come true would be for Trump to disappear and we have Bernie for the remainder of the term.  Hey....I think big.  

What makes me feel most vulnerable is the mentality of the masses who are following along believing "America will be great again."  We're all getting screwed except for the top 1% while they willy nilly trash our rights and liberties guaranteed by the CONSTITUTION ( remember that item?).  To hell with all of you.  Send the popo after me.  My dogs will bite their asses.

Now that I've ranted a bit I feel better.  It's warmer and the straw beds look like they survived the blizzard and cold snap.  I had talk with two dear friends yesterday regarding their bad days and I actually felt fortunate not to be mid-crisis because I know the feeling all too well.  

Rainbows and unicorns, baby ~

the greenhouse

Actually that effect is what's going on under the plastic on my straw beds which, after tonight, will be opened wide up again to receive sun.  I peeped under the cover and found all to be well and even kind of healthy looking.  Don't want them to fry when it warms up.  There are actually some fat spears coming up in the original bed...the kind that don't taste too good.  It will be interesting to see how that one comes back.  

We're on a learning curve at work and trying to replicate what Scotty did without his presence OR another person to take up the slack while we learn.  This is where teamwork comes in quite handy.  There is one particular thing we've been wrestling with for three days and we got it resolved today thank you sweet baby jeebus.  I screamed for joy when it finally worked after multiple attempts to be quick and smooth.  

We got to meet Shon's little family today and they are cute as can be.  One grandbaby is two and full of himself and the other is a precious 3 month old.  We're about to have more grandkids up in there than you can shake a stick at.  BG has decided that if she has a girl that Elizabeth might be in the name since it's in both of ours.  If a boy?  James for her late father.  Next appointment is in a week or so and there should be a heartbeat this time.  

I'm such a slob/lazy ass that I paid a hundred bucks to get my hair done and STILL keep it up in a clip.  That's okay...I know how purdy that color is under said stack of hair.  I'm moving along on my 3rd or 4th Weeds marathon and have arrived at the airport with the Newmans where Esteban kidnaps the baby and Nancy takes the rap for Shane.  What a good mother ;)

There is no other news in my world except that I'm beyond thrilled to see the gray go away.  Today is cool but sunny and gorgeous.  The moon was up and waning this morning as I headed to work.  There was another raccoon, or maybe that was yesterday.  Never a dull moment on the lane.

I visited an old friend yesterday who is quite ill and was taken aback at how it affected me.  More tears, but current grief not past which is a step forward.  No matter how hard you try to avoid the painful feelings if they're not expressed they just go sideways on ya.  

Be true to yourself ~

dragging ass

I'm so used to running a high BP that when I take the meds right and it's normal, I feel like walking through quicksand.  I reckon that's just how we play the healthcare game.  It snowed again this morning but wasn't the pretty kind like on Saturday.  This is my "long" week meaning five straight.  Although working the weekend is a pain sometimes, at least there's a break here and there with a weekday off.  Another perk to the weekend is not having to deal with so much administrative "stuff."  

It's kind of a curisoity to me that the widely broadcast terrorist acts are not front page news now that the election is over.  Just a thought.  I'm sure they're all just afraid of Trumpy.  Join the crowd.  The violence in Syria has ceased to be reported now that he is in office and playing footsie with you know who.  Meanwhile, our entire infrastructure is in peril because he has surrounded himself with idiots and so many key positions remain unfilled.  In other words, nobody is on the same page and the inmates are running the asylum.  Take Ryan, for instance.  Please take him far far away!!

Y'all play nice and call your mother ~

out and about

It felt good to sleep in today following yesterday's snow.  It was still hanging around but melting by the time I headed to the gentral.  I stopped and shot a few pictures, trying desperately to hang onto what is not mine by ownership but by memory.  My parents used to laugh at me and call me Dick Flowers when I wandered off into the woods with a camera.  That was two not so badass Kodaks and a killer Leica.  I stage shots in my mind like the ripples of snow on a tin barn roof that are right outside the window.  

I skipped Kroger and got some staples at Four Points then scurried on home to visit the cabin.  There was a particular shot I wanted of the daffodils in snow under the pines but they were dead as a doornail.  I took the time to look around as I drove home noticing that Thelma is at Mozella's and there are turkey buzzards on the silos.  Snow was clinging to the giant pecan trees and I was kind of mindful of how they drop all of a sudden.  

Believe it or not the Memphis news stations came to Dyersburg for 2 inches of snow.  WTF?  I don't rely on network news anymore.  Too many ads.  Plus I don't watch TV.  It's mostly gone now but is pretty to look at.  I can still hear the peepers which is kind of strange, all things considered.  

It's time to wash dishes.  Thank the lort for plastic cups from the gentral'.  Just saying.

Whatever ~

a new attitude

Now y'all know I'm not real girly or anything but sometimes one is forced to sit through  a couple of hours with color on your head while gossping with the stylists and watching the snow fall.  That's right...it's already been snowing.  I'm glad I didn't wait until today to cover the garden.  It was a sight to behold, I'm sure, me out there wrestling with painter's plastic and bricks in a heavy wind.  I fell once but nothing major.  

In my search for a reliable vehicle I called an old friend at a local dealership and we established pretty quickly that his folks wouldn't deal with me because of the BK.  With that out of the way, we chatted for a bit about what's up in our lives.  He has a two year old grandson who lives in AL that he rarely gets to see.  Thank goodness for the amazing technology that is face time.  Otherwise, we'd never know how quickly they grow.  Families are very far flung these days.

More snow is on the way and even though I paid both DSL and cell bills my internet connection drops out often due to the "end of the internet" situation I'm in.  Almost out of reach from the local hub.  It doesn't seem that far to me, maybe 3 miles?  There is no Uverse available and we all know that DirecTV is now a proud part of the ATT family.  They can wait their turn to get paid because I don't watch it.  Period.  If it's not on Netflix or You Tube, I miss it.  

When DirecTV was still a hot item independently, I got an install for a Christmas present.  There was no contract at the time *gasp* and when I requested an upgrade some time later I signed a receipt from a service guy which put me INTO a contract only I didn't know it.  When I switched providers these asshats ran my debit card for 500 bucks in early termination fees.  No warning, money gone.  It took me and the bank three months to get it back.  That kind of business practice is why they are now a little fish in a big pond swimming with ATT.

I must say that I can't complain about my cell service at all.  When the computer line is down the phone is what allows me to be in touch with the outside world.   I have no phone contract so I can change at any time.  Here's a UCMTSU story from today.  This gal came in looking all flustered and nervous asking the owner about having a redo on a cut she got 6 weeks ago.  Just a little bit different because this cut ain't the one I wanted.  oh.my.god.girl.please. So I now have multi-colored hair and won a bet with Watson on the snow thing.  He's paying up soon with some peach pecan Old Camp.

Time to fire up the sage ~

sail away

In many ways I can't remember Scotty NOT being my co-worker even though he was there only 12 of my 40.  We are like minded individuals who think freely for ourselves and call bullshit when we see it.  He has added balance to an entire workforce of estrogen filled women.  He is a carpenter who likes metal music and I don't.  When we first met we both smoked on the back steps because it was allowed.  We would chill and talk about life and he was the first one who actually told me that I had a gift for writing at whatever blog I was on at the time.  Oh yeah...Poop Happens.  That one lasted a looooong time until I decided it was time for something different.  I ranted a lot back then.

We've both been through some crap together both personally and professionally.  My mom died in January of last year and his passed while I was in Florida in May.  I think for he and Janet, that was the tipping point along with getting their kids up and on their own.  He's always wanted to live near the ocean and I totally get that.  If I had my way, I'd be on a beach somewhere too.  Life is short.

Temps are dropping and I'm getting things ready for the freeze as best I can.  Tomorrow night will be the worst for tender things.  I wasted the six bucks for tomato plants because there's not enough light in the house to keep them alive so I'll have to repurchase when the time is right.  The asparagus transplant bed is coming to life slowly but no action on the original.  The season really doesn't start until April anyway.  

I'm treating myself to a haircut and color tomorrow because my mental health requires a boost like, bad.  Nothing does it like a new do.  Since it's winter again that will be my outing for the day and maybe a few groceries.  Then it's house cleaning time and more Netflix.  

I know...I live a super exciting life.  ^j^

damage control

Per my usual luck, I have a cool weather garden planted that will more than likely get SNOW Saturday so I'll have to scurry and cover things.  Country girl will survive.  I called to visit an old friend who is very sick today and his wife sounded like she was about to lose it so I postponed my visit until the snowy weekend.  Everybody at work has new hair and I'm about to be one of 'em.  I'm plotting with Headlines right now.

This whole make America great again thing is about to get on my nerves.  We are already great you idiot.  You did not win the presidency because people like or respect you.  You won by default and don't even have the decency to let by gones be by gones.  To tweet insults at your preceding POTUS and also ruin healthcare in one week is, as my mother would say, not acceptable.  You are stoking the fires of violence, hatred and bigotry and God will get you for that so don't even get me started on the immigration thing or public education.  Geez.

That was a short rant for me which is pretty much how I roll these days.  Giving my power away to those who have no clue is counter productive to living a peaceful life so I choose to keep that power to short spurts of frustration.  Then I move onto rainbows and unicorns.

^j^

divided we fall

I am watching with keen intererest as everybody from the AMA to the AHA urges against repeal and replace.  These are the practictioners who treat you and your family.  A lot of them, like me, have been at it for a very long time.  We have watched as drug prices soar, insurance premiums become unreachable and quality care unavailable in what you'd call the "healthcare desert."  Think of it this way with say, food maybe.  You are technically in a food desert if you are X number of miles away from a source of fresh food.  I don't think the dollar 'gentral counts.  My closest store and the only one I shop is Kroger which is about 10 minutes away and must be accessed via a crazy four lane highway lined with fast food joints.  As healthcare goes, we are a rural setting.  That means that we can take care of your emergency and get you to somewhere else if need be.  That's why there's a helicopter out back and a bay full of ambulances, one of which sports the new green color.  Lerd.

I started saying goodbye the long way to my two friends who are moving on and found myself in tears more than once.  We still have time to wrap things up and look for new adventures.  Scotty now has access to a freakin' speedboat at Hilton Head.  How cool is that?

I feel better since I'm back on BP and thyroid meds.  Plus I've already lost 2 pounds.  The thyroid...she does not play.  The garden looks good with a couple of transplant spears visible among the tiny green blades of wheat.   It's good exercise to pick them out.  I'll be hooking up Larry's waterhose and redneck engineering it on the chair in a few.  

Group hug ~

little moments

I beamed when I saw Rachel's family at the state capitol!  Her son won an award and their trip was an important family moment.  Our state is controlled by the GOP as in by gawd Obama's gonna take my guns.  I mean as in good old rocky top and all that.  And "hold my beer and watch this!".  I love the diversity our our people and the history of the old South.  Y'all Yankees can't imagine the stuff we've seen.  Or maybe you can. Up north there were union bosses and an entire system built on immigrant labor much like slavery in the south.  So here's my question Donnie.....when we deport all the immigrants who will be left?  Instead of turning away refugees how about stop playing footsies with the governments that made them homeless.  Look.  I can sit on the couch with a camera too dude so can I be secretary of repeal and reform. 

WHICH brings me to healthcare.  I'm a veteran of 44 years, including college.  I've seen it all and then some.  While our heads of state bicker over who tweeted what about whom, we are facing a global healthcare crisis.  For years our country has subsidized those who are less fortunate. Why, then can we not provide the basics free:  all preventive care.  That's because there's an empire built on diagnostics and procedures and treatments. Bartering among the biggies like insurance, pharm and for profit healthcare pads the pockets of shareholders and O's.  Often there are spinoff businesses such as debt collection management.  Umm. Yeah.

On a happy note the sun is shining following a monsoon yesterday and I have an asparagus spear up.  Daddy's peonies are way up there and there's a lot of baby wheat to be pulled out.  Other than that, life is peachy.

Remember who you are ~

urgent care

My *friend texted me at just the right time that I got up and made it to the FNP at opening.  She looked in my ears and at my lesions and told me I have staph....again.  I won't even tell you where because it's gross.  Plus it hurts.  She sent my scripts in and bitched me out for trying to self treat.  Plus she told me I had put myself into a thyroid storm.  She honestly told me that lab people are the worst about all that.  

Larry and I have been friends forever and I've never toured his home so there I went after the doctor visit to pick up a very nice water hose and some dirt filled pots.  He has several pieces from Casa Grands estate sale in his place.  Ladybug greeted me when I got out of the car and went in for her morning cheese and crackers.  Then she plopped down on her bed next to the front door.  Next stop was the 'gentral for pimento cheese and turkey plus some OTC meds to clear up all this infection.  I'll visit C and C tomorrow for refills.  

Thank god I didn't hit any animals today.  All I saw was squirrels and they were too quick for the Camry.  In case you wonder what the fuck is up with our country, just breathe.  We're one nuke away from dust.  The entire world thinks we're nuts because of you know who.  That's why I figure we might as well enjoy the ride.

Peace ~

living like a refugee

I have been too lazy to go grocery shopping but it's going to have to happen soon.  I eat breakfast and lunch at work from their tantalizing menu *snort* and have started picking something up from a gas station on the way home for dinner.  The chicken store tends to bloat one quite a bit so I hit up Casey's today for a footlong sub that will make two meals.  

Yesterday morning in the dark on the way in I spotted a tiny black and white animal which looked kind of like a kitten.  I didn't see it until the eyes were shining in my headlights and couldn't avoid it so there went a soft *bump and I knew it was road kill.  I tried talking myelf into turning around about halfway into town but kept moving because that would not be a good picture to carry into the workplace for a day starter.  It's gone today so instead of assuming that the vulchers got it, I'll believe that it ran off into the brush to mama.  

My internet service is sort of at the end of the line for my provider because of the sparse number of houses out this way.  My brother pulled some strings way back when to get connectivity for my parents and me.  I've had three outages in the past few months which sometimes mysteriously go away.  Yet another repair dude is coming tomorrow to see if there's something going on with the line because tech support said that they're forcing bandwidth my way to keep my speed up to what I'm paying for.  The city has access at the golf course and airport which are right behind me but the local cable provider refuses to expand 1/4 mile for me and the neighbor.  

It rained off and on today so there's no watering to be done.  Yesterday I rigged up the hose on my Tennova green lawn chair and let it act like a sprinkler.  Work smart, I say.  The 'maters are inside looking healthy and special.  I still can't believe that peony came up so quick.  Now I know the proper time to plant something you've had your eye on!

The farther I move emotionally away from what I knew, the stranger I feel.  It's kind of like being at an in between place.  Corporate visits in May so I imagine the details of the cabin being moved ( or not ) will be worked out then.  I didn't realize, like DUH, that if there is no wifi the TV fire stick doesn't work.  Live and learn.  

I'm off tomorrow, Lord willing.  It's a good thing because I'm pretty much dragging ass.  Still shining though.  

Keep smiling ~

jumping ship

They say that the only thing constant is change.  I find this to be true in most every situation except where you really WANT it to happen which takes forever or sometimes never.  I've held onto the hope that things would get better in a certain area of my life yet every day I find that one more person is moving on.  This is my last weekend to work with Scotty and we had a decent day.  While I'm really happy for him, I'll miss him like crazy.  

I was stunned to hear that yet another co-worker has given notice.  He has fought the good fight for much longer than I ever expected his rebel self to do, yet it makes me incredibly sad because of our shared history.  I think that if I had the luxury of looking ahead to something better I'd be a bit less nostalgic.  As it stands, retirement is out of the question for my senior citizen self so I figure I'll die trying.  This is not what I expected for the "golden" years.  

I went without the SRUI one day too many and it's catching up with me in the form of little random tears here and there partly out of nostalgia and partly just exhaustion.  My friend the little General always spoke of peaks and valleys so I suppose this is a valley following a week of flying high on gardening.  It makes me not even want to water the straw, but I will because I've worked too hard to let it go.  

Leadership and community go hand in hand in more ways than one.  A true leader inspires and motivates serving as teacher and mentor as well as advocate.  When these qualities are lacking or the truth is varnished, the little people become weary.  Unfortunately those on the front lines are the ones who know the lay of the land best but are the least heard.  That really makes me tired.  

That being said, I refuse to give up and will continue to pursue plans B, C and how many other ones it takes to find peace.  That's just how I roll.  We had an interesting discussion at the sawmill today about Lent and Pentecost and the whole religion thing and I was in some ways preaching to the choir but it gave me some faith telling about how I became an out of my head Christian and into the heart kind at midlife.  

Onward ~

on fire for nature

I am having soooooooo much fun with this cool weather gardening thing.  There was a light frost last night but nothing severe enough to hurt what I have out.  As promised, I stopped by for tomato plants this afternoon and have them potted and sitting in the kitchen already fed.  They will be the cute little cherry kind.  It should be interesting frying up those tiny green ones.  Daddy's rule of thumb was not to pick a green one until you have a ripe one though I don't often eomply.

Somehow during the storm the other morning I lost my badge for work which  makes me like umm....not able to get in the door or clock in.  I was required to pay fifteen bucks to get another one and then figure out how to activate it myself with a little help from friends.  We're all just barcodes in this big old world.

Tree cutting and line repair continue daily.  The storm did quite a bit of damage and I must say that Dyersburg Electric was on it like donkey kong.  So was the EOC and all other emergency response personnel.  A situation like that is what tests the infrastructure of a town.  

I called my FNP for a refill on happy pills and was told I had to "be seen" meaning an office visit.  Just for shits and giggles I walked in on my lunch break, saw a waiting room full and dropped the door without setting foot inside.  I'll try again when there are fewer cars in the lot.  It's a conumdrum, so to speak.  The setting is an urgent care clinic yet the FNP is my primary care provider since Dr. Algee retired.  I'm not on much, but I need what I do take.  A kind person helped me with a work around on pills until I have a day off to sit and wait my turn.

As predicted, Trump's kingdom is already beginning to unravel.  If the Republicans who are speaking their minds now had done so earlier in the game we wouldn't be where we are.  It's a learning curve for all of us, I suppose.  

Today's totem is groundhog which I first thought was a squirrel and he was a really fat and slow one.  When he jumped in the ditch I figured it out.

Gotta go water that straw~ 

lenten intentions

I failed to get ashed yesterday except with white sage which doesn't show up too well.  As a Christian this period leading up to the resurrection of you know who is one of self denial or at least do no harm.  I don't see much of that in any direction that I look these days.  My only joy at this point is with nature.  

Me and the dogs slept in today and it was divine.  Those blinds keep the sun at bay until I'm ready to roll out.  I intend to do that more often because my body needs it.  A heating pad and ice block do wonders for osteo.  Also don't underestimate the power of tumeric.  

I have sawmill duty for three days and it will be my last weekend to work with Scotty.  When we first met he was from Missouri ( which he still is ) and he did the shifts nobody else wanted.  Low man, so to speak.  He and I became friends because we're both kinda' crazy in our own ways.  Me and him and a whole team of laboratory professionals have gone from doing CAP inspections on corporate to surviving and enjoying life.  His proximity to the beach is not something I will forget anytime soon.  Happy trails to you and Janet.  I will always remember you telling me what a kickass writer I am.  Google is our friend. He's a carpenter and creator and I asked him to make some frames out of old fence wood.  When he and Janet got married I returned the smaller one with a hydrangea pic that I took years ago.  It just matched, you know?

When I was shuttling for Quapaw Canoe he actually picked me up at a truck stop in Missouri and brought me home.  I don't even remember how I got to AK but I think it was by was of Blytheville.  There was this huge riverpark and I was waiting for Tony and the wonderdog to show up.  His friend Bob was from Iowa.  We all shared a beer on the way to the grab'n'go in Hayti.   Doggie dude had his own floaty vest.  

I first met John Ruskey quite by accident when he and his river partner Michael Clark did a Lewis and Clark gig at Dyersburg State.  There's not a lot of interesting things on the front page but that one caught my attention.  I contacted him in Clarksdale MS which is home to his custom canoe business.  He is an artist as well, with a beautiful wife and river daughter to boot.  Plus, a missing cat.  

Mike is in St Louis and there is an outpost in Helena.  The Mississippi River is a lifeline for our country and is being polluted daily by toxic waste from corporate America.  Billions of tons of potentially harmful substances are being shipped by barge.  Can you imagine if that shit caught on fire????

Long story short, somebody in Dyersburg had the vision to make our nasty little river better by cleaning it up.  The tour that John and Jim did with their folks was a real eye opener with lotso' tires and old appliances.  Their journey started in RoEllen and they floated all the way down to the farmer's market.  Genius.

farmer girl

Well, it's official.  I have turned into my farmer father only in a more earth friendly way.  I now visit Pennington Seed and Supply every other day to see what's new that I can add to the straw bed.  On my way out I noticed tomato plants on a cart by the front door and had already checked out.  I'll be going back for two of those to keep in pots inside until the end of April. This gal don't play.

While I was there I ran over and did a walkthrough at The Mill and was impressed with the progress.  It's almost ready for a Tencom move!   It really excites me to see this area of downtown coming alive again.  That street leads right to the river and it wouldn't take much to put a park there.  The farmer's market is right up the street as well.  

So today I planted romaine, onions and cute little johnny jump ups plus sowed some carrot seed.  While I was doing that I glanced over and noticed that the burgandy peony of Daddy's that I dug up the hard way is sprouting through the straw.  His finch feeder is filled and hanging in the pyrocantha.  All is well.

Grow your own ~

in the dark

I purposely left the box fan off so that I could hear the rain and thunder during the night and drifted off peacefully.  Sometime between 3 and 4AM the front rolled in bringing heavy wind and thunderstorms.  They say not a tornado, but 60-70 mph.  I had intended to take a shower this morning so I was kind of confused when the badass phone alarm went off and I found myself in the dark.  Alrighty then.  Here we go fumbling around for tea candles TOTALLY forgetting that Mamye gave me a battery powered lantern for Christmas.  I remembered it after I got to the sawmill which was also dark.  Very eerie for a hospital.  We have generators for emergency power and I could hear them roaring when I pulled up.  Inside it was dim because there's just a light here and there plus testing equipment on emergency.  Of course it was hot as hades because the air was off. 

As I turned into the street for work, I could see the shadow of a huge tree blocking Parr Avenue with a traffic cop guarding the path.  We were told that it would be at least six hours before power was restored and it took only 2 because the generators at the nursing home next door didn't work and....oxygen.  Since it was dark when I went in I was curious to see the damage in daylight.  There were signs flattened and awnings gone everywhere not to mention all the limbs and trees down.  I even noticed one of the street signs downtown this morning bent over at a 90 degree angle from the top.  

So now it's bright and sunny like nothing ever happened and we're lucky this time.  Others were not so fortunate.  It is so humbling to me to witness the destruction that weather can cause.  In the blink of an eye.

We were informed today that #4 of my co-workers will become grandma this year with one scoring two.  It should be an interesting time for all us old women.  

Over and out from the lane ~