working from home

Well, I'm not actually working, just catching up with emails and whatnot.  I figured this would be a non work day and had my phone turned off only to wake up at 11:10 feeling like a million for a few hours.  My current book is The Secret Life of Bees and it's almost over.  Trying to find a comfy place to read I got BACK in the bed and gave it up because the lighting is bad in there so I moved to the couch.  Every square inch of soft is inhabited by cats and dog.  The radar shows snow but I hear ice.  

Lauren is set for a surgery that will probably be a wide open incision including a tendon graft.  My last 1099 arrived via email yesterday so filing taxes is next on my list.  I'm hearing that it will take longer and be less of a refund than in years past.  That figures.  Just my luck!  After February 28th, I will no longer receive LTD which will be a  big hit to my budget.  Reckon I'll just have to write more stories.  

Daddy always told me about how winter affects arthritis but I didn't have it then.  At sixty seven with two bum shoulders I can now relate.  There are so many things wrong with me medically I could write a book on it.  In case you haven't noticed, our healthcare system is broken.  Test results are delivered via a portal that is not easily accessed by somebody who is not computer literate.  If you are lucky enough, your practitioner will call if something is out of whack.  As a healthcare professional I can read the writing on the wall.

Y'all be warm and safe ^j^

ice ice baby

The world as we know it is officially shut down due an impending ice storm.  It looks like a tricky little thing with temps hovering in the 20s and 30s for several days and precipitation along with it.  There is very little bread in the stores but I have some because I don't eat it much.  Usually goes stale, ya' know?  If I have fresh artisan bread I usually eat the whole loaf at one time and share it with friends.  I'm craving honey brioche from Tiger Tail.

Henry Angel said goodbye to his mama for a while this evening.  She's having surgery on Thursday so there will be a recovery period.  From what she told me I gather that it was start with a knee scope and proceed from there with a possible tendon graft.  We shall see.  If weather permits, I'll show up at Tennova north in Jackson to be there when she comes out.  Everybody needs their Mama after surgery.  I remember mine being there time and time again.  

Prayers up for the whole world and you're next ^j^

foggy bottoms

The fog can lay in really heavy when the weather is thus and so and today is a doozie.  Following a week of decent weather we are about to head into more rain and or ice or both which does not interest me at all.  I guess I'm just old and jaded.  Novemblah and February are my least favorite months because of all the rain and whatnot.  SADD is for real y'all.  Even with a hefty Vitamin D supplement I am tired to the bone and having to give myself pep talks to keep going.  This afternoon is chill time with Lauren in Jackson for a day or two tying up loose ends.  I was actually sad to see her go but glad that she has the support from friends to be closer to Reaves and work and the doctors.  Surgery is on Thursday so let's all pray about that one.  She should have details following her pre-op visits tomorrow.

I lost another great friend this past week.  I was Calvin Moore's errand runner for several years going to the stores that he couldn't navigate with just one leg in a wheelchair.  He was meticulous about things in his apartment, especially the antiques and Christmas decorations.  I put the garland over the huge mirror on more than one occasion and hauled trees out of the extra bathroom.  He would come out of his "office" to direct the whole thing.  One of my jobs weekly was to go to the bank and ask for hand rolled quarters, not the minted ones.  Dude was on a wild hunt for the eagle ones.  

Lauren's cat Henry got out of the house this morning while I was getting ready for church.  He followed Rosie out and she turned up first because, of course, she's an in and outer.  Henry has been strictly a house cat for most of his life.  She finally found him and he is in training to "be more like Rosie."  After a few days of hissing and hiding they are fast friends and play like brother and sister.  They are roughly the same age.  

Church was great and I was really impressed with our youth and the way they conducted our service.  There were some tears on my part as I wandered back down memory lane to when I was on the youth council there with our first ever associate who had the wisdom to give us some kind of structure.  After church I called him, Larry Tubb, to tell him how much I appreciated his impact on my young life.  He is now 81 and serving a rural church that has about three attendees.  As blessings go, his wife Gwen is trained in ostomy care so we had a long conversation about my dilemma.  I will be on my doctor's doorstep tomorrow if I don't get a call setting me up with the prescription and referral that he promised.  Old folks with medical knowledge make persistent patients.  One of the things that I've learned over the years is to be the first patient du jour so as not to get caught up in the never ending waiting room for hours.  

Y'all be faithful and remember from whence you came ^j^

humble motives

I will admit to not being perfect in all ways but my motives are usually pure.  Compare and contrast that with those who do what they do to hurt others and build themselves up.  Y'all know the type.  "Look at me and what I've done!"  "Appoint me ruler of what is right and wrong!"  Jesus don't like that  y'all.  Not my Jesus, anyways.  

It's Friday and I've got a full weekend and a dirty house.  The current search is for an air mattress and all the dressings so that the surgery girl can have my comfy bed for a few days post-op.  There is a visitation tomorrow and church on Sunday.  I remember when Sundays after church were prime Reaves time.  Due to drama.drama.drama that is not the case at present.  

There was a period in my life that I hurt other people emotionally and when I knew better I did better.  Anger issues and co-dependency were heavy over me like a constant presence and I didn't realize I was doing it.  After therapy, I became less holier than thou.  It's what Jesus would do ^j^

attention to detail

I am a very careful driver and it really pisses me off when folks don't turn their headlights on at dusk, dawn, foggy days or rainy ones.  Also I really do not like those of you who (a) pass in the turnoff lane (b) do not stay a car length apart while stopped (c) don't know how to use a turn signal (idiot) (d) do not stay six cars apart when traveling the highway.  I could go on and on but people are just stupid.  Bubba learned the hard way that you can be sitting there waiting to turn, minding your business and somethings happens while you wait to go.  Like being in a four car pileup when a driver passes out. It was unfortunate for all involved, especially the last guy who rammed into them.  He was sick already and had cooked a whole week's worth of BBQ ribs for July 4th at his food truck.  So much for Bubba's "forever truck."  He got compensated.

I have a day off tomorrow to go to the doctor and see what's up with this stoma.  If I don't get some relief soon my mental health will suffer.  I might just pitch a hissy fit up in there and beg for wound care.  Do NOT underestimate this old girl.  Me and the all the critters are waiting for LP to get home from Jackson.  It's been a long day for her so she gets the bed tonight. Plus there's supper on the stove.  I'm exploring a futon with trundle at Big Lots and it looks pretty sweet.  Randy and Sandy's green one has done its' duty for many years.  And thank you!

I have no opinion this evening about anything other than it's cold and an icy mix is on the way next week.  We do NOT like ice but snow is our friend ^j^

giving

I stopped by to visit a couple of places today that I will be writing about soon.  These are places that meet people where they are like the Salvation Army and the YMCA.  I talked with both directors and introduced myself promising to schedule interviews in late spring.  I am enamored with people that volunteer to help others.  In my Pollyanna mind I always thought I would be one of them like my Mama and Daddy only it didn't work out there.  My body wore out before theirs did and I had to quit the healthcare scene at the age of 62.  And the irony?  That is one of the organizations that they gave their time too.  And also Lifeline Blood Services.  They would be so proud to see our center here in Dyersburg.  Daddy was O negative and a 10 plus gallon donor.  Back in the day he actually donated for one of my friends' daughters who was a critical care newborn.  

Prior to my surgery I was a regular at the Y doing Silver Sneakers before it was Silver and Fit.  After the surgery I tried yoga but it was just too complicated with a bag and tight clothes.  The friction of an appliance will kill you over time.  It bleeds and it hurts.  Hopefully I will get some relief on Thursday.  I am not a sissy when it comes to pain, but over time it will wear us down.  

High five to Lisa for gifting us with supper and an apple pie.  I saw both my boyfriends there but it was too cold for Joy and Francene to visit.  Whitney was there too, as usual.  We are supposed to get a whole bunch of rain tonight. I wouldn't mind some snow too.  Bubba came by to fix the running toilet today so that was today's visit.  As ornery as he is, I still love him like chicken ^j^

i hate it when that happens

Joy and I are regular Kelly fans and I saw a group on there last week that I liked but....I can't remember the name.  It's a couple of gals with great vocals and a nice band.  Their tones are slightly different but not really harmony...in between, so to speak.  Me and the temporary roomies are making it fine in spite of dueling cats.  Tomorrow Rosie and Oscar will stay outside and Henry can have the quiet house to himself.  LP will be at work and so will I.  If anybody can let me know the name of that group I'd be obliged.

I met with the editor this morning and she gave me some more ideas for stories.  Poopie still ain't right and pretty painful.  Oh to live in an area that has a real wound care ostomy nurse!  Out here in the boonies we are lost.  I depend a lot on advice from my ostomy group on FB.  Lots of different methods are presented by other ostomates.  Sometimes it's just basic skin care which is what I'm concentrating on.  

I hope Monday has been at least not HORRIBLE for y'all ^j^

return to the nest

Any parent knows that the baby bird may return at any moment when things get complicated.  Which they definitely are.  LP is currently homeless (long story) and facing knee surgery the first week of February so we are temporarily roomies.  She was planning on moving anyway so there ya' go.  She brought her cat Henry Angel with her and it's been an adjustment for all involved.  With income tax money on the way she will be able to catch up on stuff and find a place for she and Reaves.  She took the couch last night and I slept for fourteen hours in my dark bedroom.  We may switch up tonight.  Or not. I'm used to "complicated" so I'm just going with the flow.  Mama Bears will do what they have to do to help a baby bear out even when they've been on their own for a long time.  

My first story was published in the State Gazette yesterday and made front page.  This is what I'm meant to do, I truly believe.  A storyteller at heart, I have used this blog to share them as life goes by and I won't stop.  The paper is also publishing my blog which will be kind of new territory.  I often rant but they are cold hard truths if you know what I mean.  I figure if there is any controversy they will drop it.  Everyone needs an avenue to express themselves and this is mine.  There is only one other blogger associated with their publication so we shall see.

Y'all keep the faith ^j^

the new cat

Rosie has a new friend for now named Henry Angel.  He's black and white like her but is a bit "special" and is getting accustomed to his new digs.  Oscar hates him shaking up his routine and Rosie is just like WTF.  A new cat?????   Praying here for no feline fights.  

Today was beautiful and cold.  I went to two different 'gentrals because I can't remember what I need.  Like toilet paper and baby wipes!  Bubba told me there was buttercups up at Charlie's house but I only found buds on Mrs. Council's row.  There is like a thousand dollars worth of Brecks bulbs planted up there where I used to live.  The front yard by the road is lined with narcissus which usually blooms around Easter.  I hope that the new tenants appreciate my efforts.  Everywhere I go I take some bulbs.  Today the surprise lilies came up but all will probably get bit in February.  Winter ain't over yet.  

Looking forward to spring ^j^

knitting up a storm

I talked to Carol a while ago and she is surrounded by yarn and learning to knit like Patsye does.  She is looking for a local place to knit and chat so I am no help.  Maybe somebody I know could join her circle.  This old girl has learned the hard way that you do not speak your mind with the public.  Somebody, somewhere will be offended.  Like FB on steroids, ya know?  It's been raining all freakin' day here but me and Joy got her hair and nails done at Headlines.  Oh, and a facial wax.  We just love going in there every Wednesday for whatever she has scheduled.  It makes me happy to see her pampering herself.  Plus, I get to see all of them at the shop.  Drake has red hair now which I love.  So does Guide and he got his locks cut off by Misti.  

You never know who you will run into in a day.  I'm always on the lookout for Sugardaddy but so far, no good.  Actually, I wouldn't be happy with that kind of arrangement.  I would love to be in love again.  Maybe when I go to the nursing home some old dude will recognize what a prize I am.

I am officially a stringer for the local paper which was kind of a surprise even though I've been doing stories for two months.  My first print article will hit the stands on Saturday so I'll be saving quarters to buy it.  One dolla' only!

Rosie and Oscar are both in the house because of the rain.  I'm doing laundry and thinking about the future.  With faith ^j^

oh what a day!

I went to our local Martin Luther King day celebration this morning.  The weather was "not bad" but a bit cold and windy.  Bruce folks drove over and Future City marched up in there at just the right time.  I was one of about six white folks there and I kinda' felt out of place but yet again no.  I was surrounded by friends and folks that I know and we were enjoying a day of rights for all races and genders.  The mayors did their thing with the certificates and such and the preacher went way long giving testimony about how Dr King changed his life.  He changed mine as well because I remember those days of strife.  I was born then, ya' know.  I was in the fifth grade when schools became integrated in Dyersburg.  There was one guy in my class named Vernell who always kept a pencil behind his ear.  Mrs. Nixon hated that! 

The girls were here when I got home and I showed Reaves the program and asked her if she knew who that guy was.  "Mawtin Wuther King" she exclaimed!  I about died.  She's only five and knows what is important. 

My friend from the 'gentral died shortly after we met at the local hospital.  Brain bleed, I'm told.  Yesterday I stopped to visit her mother by choice and we had a nice long conversation in the sunny driveway.  "She was all I had" said Nancy.  There were cats galore and even a sign on the back door warning about them. Her funeral is tomorrow and I may or may not make it but I remember being with her when she left this world.  "What a sweet lady that cared for her" said Nancy.  I told her flat out that it wasn't me but God.  He put me at the right place at the right time.  Otherwise June would have been driving them home and possibly injured others.

Poopie still ain't acting right.  I have an appointment with a surgeon to see what's up.  It bleeds around the edges and leaks a lot.  I have one of those that is flush to the abdomen and hard to manage.  I'm learning.  Maybe it needs to be revised or something. Who knows.  I went by see my friend Jimmy today and got a complimentary Gatorade which is always nice.  We are polar opposites on politics but there's a strong friendship there.

IMHO, that's the way it should be ^j^

happy stomaversary

Three years ago today I woke up, on a vent , in the ICU at Baptist East without any idea what was going on.  Fortunately the tube came out after a few hours because I was totally freaked out when I woke up and "couldn't breathe."  I was fighting it bad and LP said they had to hit me with multiple drugs to calm me down.  I distinctly remember looking her in the eye and trying to say "What's wrong?"  Only it didn't come out of my mouth.  She kept eye contact and the next thing I knew the tube was out and I was on several liters of O2 in a regular room.  With an ileo-colostomy.  Lots of folks, including not one but two preachers showed up.  The last thing I remember was calling Bubba to take me to the local ER where I spent all day before transferring.  Jackson had no pulmonology coverage at the time so there I went in an ambulance on a rainy Saturday to Memphis.  The two things I remember are calling Bubba and the ambulance ride.  I'm pretty sure they doped me up with morphine in Dyersburg so a big fat thank you to Millette and Dr G for getting me on the road to where I needed to be.  

In the hospital the nursing staff did bag changes because I was clueless.  I remember one guy taking me to the bathroom to empty and saying it was past time and why had it not been tended to??  These folks are my heroes.  After a week I got tired of the oxygen and slid it off which resulted in me seeing all sorts of strange things and hallucinating.  "You have to WEAN off" said the nurse.  Hey, I was a believer.  I was on room air shortly after and even walking the halls with PT.  

I was on a liquid diet for many days and ate a million popsicles thanks to my friends Debbie and Steve.  Regina stayed with me the first few nights until I felt able to go it on my own.  We stole a few towels, forgive us Lord.  She filed something with the ACA from my room to question why my premium went from zero dollars to 1350.  That deal was not resolved until June of that year at which time I was notified that I was indeed covered for the month of January.  Bubba sent BC/BS the entire amount due and got a lot of it back.  I still owe him about 400 bucks on that.  I'll try to make it up with home cooked food and sisterly love.

It was raining again when I was transferred back to Dyersburg to a local rehab.  My hair had not been washed for three weeks so Misti and Marlena took me and the wound vac to Headlines where I was cleaned up at no charge thanks to Vicki and Chucky.  I'm name dropping here kids.  They also brought me lunch from Mary Lou's the next day.  That is love in action y'all.

That week in rehab was the longest one of my life.  I was put in a room with an actual friend who was on total life support, thus a lot of noise and nurses in and out.  I still couldn't change my bag so a couple of angels like Shana would do it for me.  I shared a bathroom with two other ladies and here I was trying to learn bag management.  One of them had a baby doll and didn't like me at all.  She kept locking the bathroom door.  UCMTSU

I threatened to leave AMA and one of my deathbed preachers came out to calm me down.  Yet another came by to anoint me with healing oils.  Yaya brought pimento cheese which sat in a bucket of ice by my bed.  I wasn't eating much, ya know.  She brought me a gown which I still have.  Meanwhile, Sara was over there not knowing what was up because I changed the channel from her favorite show to the news.  I got up and went to her bedside occasionally and could see how frustrated she was because she knew me and could not respond except by blinking.  As far as I know she's still there.

So many friends and family were afraid of losing me and hovered for months to make sure I was okay.  I had home health for eight weeks and those nurses helped me learn ostomy care and how to walk again, with a wound vac.  That dude was heavy!   A hospital bed was delivered by a DME company but I never slept in it.  Rachel bought me two sets of sheets for that stretcher.

I was told that reversal was an option and on follow up visits with the general surgeon we explored that.  It involves two surgical procedures six months apart which I am not willing to go through.  I have my reasons and do my research.  Keeping this beast called Poopie is a lot of work because she tends to blow at any moment.  I've changed twice today and thank the lort' I have a whole new array of supplies.  My friend Jay has helped me with tips on ostomy care.  

I should have been dead but I am still above ground.  As I was driving today I pondered on those people who just have massive heart attacks and wreck.  This was while I was crossing the Forked Deer river.  I could actually envision myself sailing off into the river.  Would that not be appropriate??  Don't call suicide watch on me....I just have this really ironic sense of humor.  It allows me to go with what life presents to me and live faithfully one day at a time.  

We can talk more later.  Love ya....mean it ^j^  

i have a dream

This old girl has always been a dreamer.  Oscar Bruce told my parents that when he would pass by my room at Alice Thurmond I would be looking out the window.  I went there for six years and couldn't have gotten away with a dang thing because all those teachers and whatnot knew my parents.  My first memory was in our first grade room when my Uncle Jimbo would roll in to lead us in "Good morning Mrs. Green's room!"  When my baby brother Tommy was born Mr. Bruce got me out of class, took me to the office and gave me a coke.  Ethel said Harold had a big head when he was born.  I can just see her and those choppers going as she sized this great grandchild up.  "alright?" she would say when answering the rotary phone.  Back then it was AT something.  As  young woman she worked as a telephone operator in Halls and I have a vintage photo of her there.  And you know what?  I look eerily like her.  Alright?

I'm trying to figure how far I can walk to the pocket park on Monday for MLK day.  For sure I can't do from Bruce unless I have a bus back to my car.  As I imagine it, there will be a long line of folks holding hands and singing "We shall overcome."  I honestly believe that Dr. King was a man of God who believed in equality and got murdered by a redneck in Memphis because he took up for the sanitation workers.   John Lewis is another personal hero of mine.  Rosa and them.  I have never known anything but being white but I remember the colored peoples' fountains down at the Dyer County courthouse.  So much has changed, yet a lot remains the same.

I have a super story to write this weekend about a woman who loves to bake bread.  I actually watched her knead it!  She has this huge industrial mixer for the dough and her creativity takes off from there.  That's how it usually goes with me when I'm writing.  Experience something new and then tell the story, so to speak.  Looks like the blog might get more exposure soon so there's that.  People seem to like it unless I get too rowdy and political.  I'm done with following all that stuff.  It will be what it is.

I've managed to make it through Friday the 13th without falling or seeing any black cats under ladders.  There is one outside somewhere who will be mewing to get in from the cold.   Y'all be blessed.  Tell mama'n'them  I said "alright" ^j^

across the aisle

Bubba called this morning so I could meet him at Charlie's house which is where I lived like..forever.  It's all spiffed up and the latest addition is stunning.  We have been on this journey together for three years.  I moved into the homeplace during a February freeze two years ago.  Thank the lort' Mama's bed was already here.  I don't remember who did the moving but it eventually happened.  Meanwhile, the house on the hill was FULL of memories that were taken out carefully to the dumpster out front.  Billy dug through the stuff and found things like Mama and Daddy's wedding picture and their report cards from back in the day.  All of this was passed onto me to keep up with.  Lerd.  Surely Mama knew I am not as organized as she was.  

I left there and went to the gentral' down at Four Points to get just two things.  As I decided to head to the cashier I heard a voice asking "Is anybody over there?"  Hello, I said.  And I heard it again from the other aisle, a cry for help.  A few steps found me turning the corner to find an elderly woman laid out on the floor with her basket turned over.  I sat down cross legged by her head and we talked.  She was alert and told me name and address.  A beautiful woman who did not look her age of 80.  The cashier called 911 and then his manager who showed up before the ambulance service.  I am kinda' sorta' a nurse and I could tell she was in more distress and losing it.  The ambulance showed up and put her on a "bed" as they called it. They rolled her out into their truck to see what was up.  I followed Glenda's friend out to the parking lot and she told me through tears "She's all I've got."  

Be very award of voices that call to you from wherever.  It might be an angel of God tapping you on the shoulder ^j^

it's all good

Sometimes it isn't.  If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, those words sound hollow.  After years of working the clinical side of healthcare, I found my passion with palliative care.  I wasn't actually doing it officially but I became acutely aware of the pain of losing someone you love.  While walking the halls of the hospital, I would hear families singing around a death bed where one of their loved ones was passing over.  Sometimes it took days.  Often, it was months with a transfer to a nursing home and back into the hospital.  Because we were associated with the nursing home next door, me and a lot of others had to walk over there with trays and get blood from the patients.  One time this crazy old dude tried to grab my ass...in fact he did.  Sometimes the adrenaline kicks in at the end.  

I am pretty stubborn but that's not the way I see me going.  With extensive knowledge of end-of-life care I have chosen my path and my social worker daughter knows my wishes.  I carry the living will with me everywhere I go.  If I die in a car wreck it will probably go sailing into the Forked Deer river but there are copies.  Be prepared....lol.  What a good scout.  BTW, I hated Girl Scout camp Mom.  And Lauren was allergic to the lake water!  Hey...we tried.

I write stories because it's in my blood.  Mama was a reporter at the local papers for years, doing society and recipes with Mary Lee Bowen as a boss.  They are now long gone but there is still something about the print media that grabs me.  Many folks want to have the paper in their hands and slowly read through the local news.  You have to have the ad page for yard sales and whatnot but feature stories are where it's at.  And sports, of course.  For many years the opinion page of the State Gazette has been dominated by the far right.  My friend is changing all of that, plus more.  She is a true Co-Starter.  

Namaste Rachel ^j^

the devil in the details

I won't be naming anything or anybody in particular but as it turns out there is a lot of corruption going on in Dyer County right now on many different levels.  Much of it involves COVID relief money in the form of PPP grants/loans.  Several different types of businesses such as government, education and religion are under the microscope.  These things have divided our community times a trillion.  People steal, all the time.  But as a US taxpayer, I'm pissed at this fraud.  Where was the oversight?  I am not a county tax payer since I don't own property but I think that the commission did the right thing by purchasing the property and consolidating  many services in one area.  The essentials are still on court square and those properties have been improved tremendously.  There is a growing movement of folks who seek to offer a lot of services in downtown Dyersburg.  I can tell you from my research for an art gallery there simply is nothing decent to be had at ground level except for lawyer's offices....except for South Mill.

I became friends with Chris Donaldson through his mother.  His imagination and creativity combined with that of his sister Amy astound me.  They jumped on the wagon early with co-working spaces which was "a little ahead of our time" for Dyersburg but it turned out beautifully as an office for Tencom and The Mill Workspace. The Mill is packed with gadgets to record, televise and anything else you could want.  Alan Ingalls is a premier videographer who works with Chris closely.  Plus! Get this.  It's across the street from my crack store Pennington Seed and Supply.  There are a couple of boutique type places over by the feed store.  

I remember watching Chris giving life to this dream of his.  I was schooled by him through a Haslam program which was designed to teach folks about taking an idea and making it happen.  What's your idea?  Who is your target audience?  How much will it cost?  At the time I was still at the hospital and had sick parents so that never happened.   

If the locals want to make things work, they can.  Grant money is available and I'm not talking PPP.  Get you a good grant writer (social worker) and define your goal.  Then pitch yourself and wrassle' with the economics of it.  One of the things that saved Chris a ton of money is that he did the reconstruction himself supervising every detail with a vision.  Every time I went, it looked better.  It was there that I met the founder of Buff City Soap, a lawyer who just started just making soap in his garage in Shelby County.  That business is now nationally franchised and he has moved onto boards.  They are to die for beautiful!

I think small in business.  Support your local merchants who are trying to make Dyersburg a better place to live ^j^

epiphany

My tree is still up glaring at me because I didn't dare take it down until today.  That will be tonight's project along with a movie. Or maybe I'll wait for Reaves to help me on Sunday.  I need a decent box or tote to put the ornaments away for this season.  Tonight is really dedicated to getting my shit together.  I learned this morning that one of my "kids from another mother" passed away yesterday.  He has been a constant in my life since Lauren'n'them were young uns'  I have thought about him all day, the stories that you can't make up because the details are so bizarre.  Once I rescued him from under a telephone pole when it rolled over on him while he was cutting it.  This boy scout had everything needed for all the emergency workers and passers by with CBs to pull the pole up with ropes off of his body.  Luckily the ground was soft and once the pole was off of him, the EMTs used a barrel top (also from his truck) to slide him out from the ditch.  I think Daddy came with a tractor but didn't have much luck with that and was mad as hell.

I was privy to an excellent cook making gumbo with the perfect roux today.  Her recipe will be passed on and on.  It's a special occasion because it's a full moon only it's cloudy so....there ya go.  Bang those drums anyways sisters!

Grief is hard and has really no beginning or end.  Every day brings a loss of some sort which we process according to EK Ross.  At any one moment we can see something or taste and smell something that brings back a memory of times past.  According to one person I know, it's all about the dopamine.  Do what makes you happy.  I got kissed by four dogs today and that gave me a real boost.  

Take your tree down folks.  Love ya....mean it ^j^

this will be

Well, it will be what it will be.  I'm sick and tired of wringing my hands over the future and what "might" happen.  Sitting here in the precarious position of retired but still working, I've had opportunities to augment my SS so that's all good.  At any moment that income could go away but I will try until I can't get up.  Magnesium is a wonder drug for me because I don't have the muscle aches and spasms that I did for a few months.  That will be a monthly staple at Sunflower for me.  Along with astragalus, vitamins and other healthy stuff.  As a lab person I'm amazed at what the MG does for a body.

Since I'm writing stories now I've been grabbing phone numbers from everybody I know so they will talk to me and tell their tales.  So far so good.  I only spent a week on the first piece.  Hey, I'm a novice so just give me some time to get into human interest mode.  Right now I'm reading The Secret Life of Bees and loving it.  I can relate to that little girl.  Plus there are honey bees flying all around here.  

God is good.  All the time ^j^

a brand new year

I started it off at FUMC which featured a beautiful service with communion and the children's choir.  Cousin Charlie had a solo and knocked it out of the park!  The girls didn't get here in time for church but were waiting for me when I got home and shed the fancy duds for shorts.  On New Year's Day, of course.  The temp hit 70 both yesterday and today and now the storms are moving in.

LP was horribly tired from no sleep due to knee pain so she passed out on the couch and Reaves and I played awhile.  We made soup for the baby in the tree which ended up not so bad.  Full of yogurt and fruit and cream, frozen to a perfect slush.  When I went to check the mail I mysteriously found a copy of Green Eggs and Ham so we sat in the swing and I read to her.  About halfway through the second time reading it she lay her head on my shoulder and softly murmured "I want to go nap with Mama."  Which she did, and I can't tell you what a sweet feeling seeing both of my girls sacked out and curled into each other in sleep.  

While they were napping my friend Patrick came by to put the training wheels on her new Barbie bike.  She didn't really want to wake up but I was determined to get her on that bike before they left.  As Lauren was packing up to leave Reaves and I pushed the bike across grass and gravel until we reached the paved road.  At first she was all like "I can't." but I coached her and pushed her and off she went with me whooping and hollering "Go girl GO...You've got this!"  She wanted to keep going down to where Oscar was exploring way down the road but it was time for them to get back to Jackson.  Next time, she will do it again and again and again.  It was a once in a lifetime moment, y'all.

I had peas and cornbread and pork yesterday so I should be good for the new year.  I'm still craving cream cheese sausage balls but that can wait until fifth Sunday in Sunday School.  

Y'all be blessed ^j^