steady stream

The constant trickle of faucets that has been this week is now ramped up to a steady stream of water to keep the whole thing from shutting down in this arctic weather.  It will be near zero tonight which is pretty much a disaster waiting to happen in the South.  At least there's no precip in the forecast.  That would be horrific on amateur night.

I'm hurting again and having to work into mobility each morning stretching and myofascial releasing.  I've been reflecting on this year and all the changes it brought both in and out of the workplace.  I have a beautiful new granddaughter who holds my heart in her tiny little hands.  It was a six week long 3 surgery test of endurance for her Mama that began with a section and ended with a lap to repair the uterine tear from #2 which was a D and C.  Lauren is healthy and back to work.  Reaves is a wonder.  For this, I am thankful.

In May of this year  I left the keys in the console of my ratty ass Camry at work.  When I went out to smoke later, said Camry was missing.  After contacting police, reviewing video surveillance with IT and catching a ride home I was called from the DPD around 6PM to tell me the car was abandoned at the Mall.  The thief had left a bicycle in the spot where my car was parked and it was taken into evidence and returned.  When I went to get the car from impound the next day I found ANOTHER bicycle in the back seat along with dude's backpack and the hoodie he was wearing.  Think Jessie Pinkman on a bike.  He went to trial and jail where I presume he's still residing.  

A lot of folks have had loss and tragedy this past year and I feel blessed not to have been personally affected this time around the globe.  My friend Judy had surgery a week after me for colon cancer.  She faces a new year with the challenge of cancer treatment.  Jane's husband Steve has been in and out for multiple health problems.  People have died that were cared for deeply.  It's the cycle of life, I suppose.

Folks have retired and found new jobs.  The faces of work change quickly these days.  With a lab full of techs nearing retirement it will be a real challenge to replace us as we continue the march out the door.  Nobody wants to be a lab tech.  We are invisible to the patients except when we take their blood and everybody thinks we're nurses.  Which we almost are!

This surgery has shown me the physical limitations of my body.  As my friend Gay says, we all expect a "fix" when we go to the OR.  Sometimes, that's not possible which was my case.  It was made better which is all I expected.  Tears that old turn into atrophy and shrunken up blobs.  MFR will be my PT along with gradual strength training on my own.  

I have dreams for the new year.  I'm excited about watching Reaves grow and Lauren going in a new direction.  I'm slowly but surely coming to the point where I can either "use it or lose it" with my talents and I intend to manifest that with all I've got.  

Y'all be careful out there ~ Hill Street Blues

low maintenance

It wouldn't take much for me to become a complete hermit because I despise shopping.  I plan trips where I can get it all at once and not have to get out for days.  Last night the battery went out on my cordless mouse and I couldn't get the cover off to replace it.  Three of us tried and it wouldn't budge.  Even though I have a touch pad on the laptop I do much better with a mouse.  The gentral had none so I was facing a trip to Wallyhell which is my worst nightmare.  When I got home from the dolla' store I tried it one more time and voila~  Battery replaced and no walmart.  See how little it takes to make me happy?

I've had my morning chat with Lauren and Reaves which is always a pleasure.  She has found those feetsies and gives them a good workout.  I have roman candles and sparklers left from the 4th so I don't even have to go to the fireworks tent. 

No news here.  Just trying to keep the water flowing and stay warm which will be an ordeal for the next week.  I can't tell you how many times I've let it freeze and had to wait for the thaw, so to speak.  Once it happened on a Sunday and I put out an SOS on Facebook.  Greg Collier came to my rescue, torch and all.   Call him for all your plumbing and electrical needs.  Tell him Janie sent you!

Over and out from the lane ~

in the flats

Highway 78 is lined with tiny towns all the way up to the Kentucky border.  As I passed through on my way to the funeral home I mentally noted the spots that I've driven by a hundred times.....Nauvoo, Bogota, Broadmoor, Ridgely and finally Tiptonville.  There's a huge bluff leading from Nauvoo to Bogota where the road (finally) straightens out from that curvy bunch of mess in the hills.  Bikini Bottoms on the right by the Obion River.  A post office in each little town. I had never been to this particular funeral home so I had to stop twice to find out where I was going.  Turns out I drove smooth past it the first time.  

Lake county is home to the legendary Reelfoot which was formed in ummm...1812? from an earthquake where the Mississippi flowed backwards, or so I'm told.  It used to be a thriving tourist attraction but now there's a giant port there which has taken over much of the quaintness.  Still...if you want to catch fish OR eat them, that's the place to be. There is a state park there and a building named after Lorna's dad who was himself a legend.  There is water standing everywhere along the Obion/Lake part of the highway which is almost exclusively devoted to crops.  I saw one little patch of winter wheat which was a welcome sight among all those corn stalks.  

My arm was pretty achey after the drive so I took an exit and headed home slowly thinking about how beautiful Hazen looked and how heartbroken her family is.  And finally, I've met everybody in the family except for Annabelle and her tribe.  The final song for her funeral will be the one I talked about yesterday.  

Coming off the pain meds may be more of a challenge than I thought but I'll work through it with ibuprofen and whatnot.  I've used the pain med VERY sparingly to get through the worst of it.  Which is how it should be used.  Not sold on the street.  For the "crisis" that is opioid addiction there is no simple answer but it definitely starts with front line providers like nurse practitioners and physicians.  That won't stop the heroin but it would sure put a whoa ho on the pills.  Just saying.

I'm preparing to say goodbye to 2017 and don't let the door hit you in the ass.  There have been good things and bad things but I'm always one to embrace a new calendar and all the possibilities.  Especially now.

^j^

counting blessings

I had totally forgotten about a song that I shared with Hazen during the summer when she was in Pompano.  Lorna found and liked it while going through the memories on her late daughter's page.  That led me to listen again and of course.  I cried like a baby.  What is so ethereal about the whole thing is that the friend who introduced me to it did an MFR treatment on me shortly after that. When I told her about the song she teared up too.  We are kindred spirits like that.  

Lauren and I had a decent talk this morning since she was off.  Baby Reaves was eating like the big girl she is who holds the bottle herself.  We talked about the sad things and good things and all things in between.  She is working like a warrior woman these days and caring for a baby.  I know that feeling!

So today is Thursday, right?  Oh crap.  Garbage day.....gotta run.  

at a loss

I am not my usual smartass chatty self today for several reasons.  The life and death situations I mentioned yesterday morphed into the deaths of two young adults.  Hazen Flatt, the daughter and sister of my dear friends, passed away yesterday.  She was the mother of two small children, Gracie and Jasper.  She was a sweetheart and loved her family like a mama bear.  Their family is straight up right on Lake county to the core even though they've lived just about everywhere.  She is a beautiful  woman whose spirit will shine on forever.   

Jon's death was a shock as well.  I came to know him through BabyMan and Shannah.  He was her nephew and visited often with his cousins Austin and Tori.  Ironically they were in a horrible wreck rushing to where he had been hospitalized and were sent to The Med.  I just found out yesterday that my friend Tracy who cared for Mama is their aunt.  Small world.

It takes a special person to give comfort with words at a time like this and I'm not one of them.  In grief, we are united to where  "i'm sorry" is unspoken with each hug or call or FB post.  It's perfectly normal to wonder why when the real reasons will probably never be known.  It is what it is and it's heartbreaking.  While death is a part of life, only God knows the timing.  

Keep your faucets running kids.  It's arctic out there ^j^

the piano

My aunt and uncle were both piano and voice teachers so guess who started tickling the ivories before school?  I can still remember that from their St John days.  They taught me until sixth grade where I was handed over to Mrs. Charlene Fisher and failed miserably.  Hey...I was a teenager.  

So I quit taking lessons and practicing until the opportunity came around to buy one for 200 bucks.  Jason had learned to play on it and Uncle Jim said it was a great deal so there we went.  Jason died as a young teen with leukemia.  I remember visiting him once at St. Jude.  

So the piano got tuned and I played my little heart out for years, dusting and rearranging things on the top with the mirror.  I played some of the old classical sheet music and remembered how I learned from them.  And I wore out the United Methodist hymnal.  Spirit Song is my favorite.  

Eventually with new flooring came a need to move the giant thing OUT of Casa Poops to a new home and I found just the one, Ms Nancy.  Her family hauled it out, Cooper tuned it and she practiced for her gigs at the evening services.  There have been many times I've sat at that piano in the sanctury down by the family room.  Only there wasn't a family room then.  I froze at the keyboard while the organ played on at that particular service where Ms Charlene told me "you can do this."  I did not.

I should play again.  I'd think it would be good therapy, hmm?

tragedy knows no holiday

I will spare details out of respect for privacy but my heart is very heavy at the moment.  Two families that are like my own are dealing with life and death situations and it sucks.  From experience with Lauren's three surgeries in a month, I know that prayers will keep folks going.  Please send them up for these families.  

I talked with my boss this morning who has had his own medical problems and he said that they finally got his heart back in rhythm on Friday of last week.  Said he feels like a new person except for where he chewed his tongue!  

I'm loading up on the arnica gel and ibuprofen and slowly but surely the pain is waning somewhat.  Enough about that.  I'm blessed to be otherwise healthy and healing.  It will be a very sad day when I have to put on a bra again.

I started taking down decorations yesterday because well..I can't wait until Epiphany and I've got the time.  All y'all out there cleaning up the messes from yesterday, remember how lucky you were not to be touched by the dark side of life and hold those babies close.  

Namaste ~

ho ho ho

The chicken store is always open, even on Christmas.  When I went up there this morning to get a diet coke, they were all decked out with headgear and a festive mood in spite of working.  That's the spirit girls!  Even the manager was there.  

To say that my brother is punctual is an understatement.  Therefore, I made a new variation of cheese grits last night and put them in for the mandatory hour of baking while I scrambled eggs and fried bacon.  He had suggested Huddle House and I said hell to the naw....my mama would roll over in her grave.  We modified, at his suggestion, the grits recipe to include cooked and crumbled sausage and it was to die for.  I gifted him with deviled eggs and he gave me half a strawberry cake made by the famous Virgie.   He was gone in 45 minutes!

Cooking with one arm is doable, indeed.  

The girls were here less than 24 hours but it was divine time for all of us.  Lauren is working today just like all the other folks who have to be there.  I imagine the hotel is pretty full with holiday travelers.  We'll hook up again in the next week.  Her friends worked together to get her here and back with all the stuff that goes with baby travel.  I whispered goodbye to her back as she hauled multiple bags and baby to Abbey's car.  

And so the rest of this day is left for me and the dogs to celebrate in our usual way....quietly hanging out. Bubba showed me a picture he took of a freaking lifesize concrete cow sitting on a trailer somewhere around here.  As Lorna would say "you can't make this shit up."  I've been hearing shots so that must mean some critters are dying in the woods.  Lotso water in the river area.  

Be blessed ~

then one foggy christmas eve

Lauren and Reaves got here mid afternoon yesterday and all three of us were in the bed together by 8, plus the two dogs.  I cannot describe the feeling of waking up in the dark with all these blessings right beside me.  Reaves sleeps like a champ and is a very good baby.  We got up around 4, played a little and went back down until 8:30 where we did it all again.  

After she got good and awake we busted out the two toys for her that sat under my little tree, both of them with lots of sounds and lights.  She LOVED them.  Thanks to Uncle Chucky, Aunt Vicki and Aunt Mamye for that.  Lauren brought me a new flavor of Hempz lotion and she got the usual ME calendars, per my mother's spirit.  Reaves is back asleep now I imagine while Lauren watches documentaries about murder.  Yep...she has a dark side.  We watched the last episode of Handmaid's Tale together early this morning.  I do so love the ending.

If you are at the mall or Wallyworld, I feel ya and praise your bravery.  It's been a week since the sun was visible and today looks like more of the same.  I'm grateful not to be traveling but cozy in my home instead, surrounded by my loves.  I had to use the sling this moroning to feed Reaves but I had already figured out the right position even before surgery.  It's been hurting that long.  

There's a beautiful antique three quarter bed in my living room that will belong to Reaves when she gets some years on her.  It belonged to her great grandmother and came back to me in quite a serendipitous way.  Shout out to Tracy and Hannah on that miracle.  I'll use it until then as a spare.  

I'd like to shout out to my work peeps and say Merry Christmas and thanks for covering my back

arm these weeks post op.  I knew that it would create a hardship and offered to wait until the week after Christmas.  I am, however, glad that it's done.  Second time around has been much tougher, I guess partly because I'm 3 years older and it wasn't an "acute" injury.  Just a big old joint full of goo. 

Ms Mary Crawford, grandmother of my ortho APN died just a few weeks ago.  I mentioned the sad part when I was in her office the other day and she shared a picture with me of the table and things that she got from her grandma.  We both agreed that she's where she wants to be but that picture brought tears to my eyes.  

The Thanksgiving ham from the DCHS baseball team was so good I bought another one and dayum is it good.  It's the kind of thing you can't eat too much of because the smokey flavor will give you heartburn.  Thus, I was mixing up a cocktail of baking soda at our 4AM rising.  

Things don't feel sad anymore.  It's only been a week since Lauren and I have a teary conversation on the phone about Christmas past.  We will always have that, but I'll take this any day of the year.  

Faithful ~

beeps in the night

One of my smoke detectors has a battery that's dying and it goes off randomly in a short little beep now and then.  I heard that during the night but failed to hear the flash flood warning from the FOUR inches of rain we got yesterday.  It's still standing on the lane but the Camry is used to driving through it.  That's why my lug nuts are rusted on!  

I'm awaiting the arrival of my girls with all their stuff in tow.  Reaves is probably walking now it's been so long.  A lot can happen in a month.  I'm still hurting, but keep on moving.  It's more comfortable without the sling except when I'm out somewhere which isn't often.  I drove to the 'gentral today which was a huge outing and my first time behind the wheel since Dec. 6th.  There is garbage piled a mile high on the back porch.  I hope Santa doesn't trip over it.

The cutout sugar cookie dough is chilling in the refrigerator all Mama Stafford style.  I doubled it so I can give a batch to Kim for she and her daughter to make.  Memories in the making.

I hope and pray that all y'all have a Merry Christmas wherever you are or whatever you're doing.  Don't forget that healthcare and law enforcement peeps will be hard at it in case of emergency during your festivities.  

Noel ~

christmas present

It's a miracle of movie proportions y'all.  After much figuring and schedule shifting, Lauren and Reaves will be here tomorrow.  We had both resigned ourselves to no time together when suddenly her schedule changed and rides appeared to get them here and back.  Now I've got to get the house clean (er).  I am broke as a joke but that's okay.  We will be together.

I've been getting Christmas cards off and on and one that I got yesterday really surprised me.  Adrian Montague from Jackson ran an independent campaign for Stephen Fincher's congressional seat.  He actually came to my house and sat at the table explaining his platform and many supported him.  He sent me a Christmas card of he and his wife and all their critters which really moved me that he remembered.  Remember that name because you will see it on a ballot again.  

I missed dinner with friends last night because I was hurting and also broke.  I'm pretty much house bound.  Our family gathering at Mo's has been rescheduled because she and hub are sick as dogs.  Life throwns us twists when we least expect it.  

So, be merry and jolly in spite of it all.  And love the ones you're with,

the christmas cake

My brother, who WORKS at Kroger called me yesterday wanting to know if I had a disposable cake pan with lid.  Seems a co-worker is gonna' make him a strawberry masterpiece for Christmas.  I should probably reach outside the boundaries of my favorite triple chocolate pound cake with icing and holly on top.  We may have to settle with pyracantha berries.  It's a tradition that was started when my husband and me were on again and off again and a kind soul served as my advocate during the transition(s).  We were fellow church members and I had taken care of his daughter when she was very sick as a baby.  He described himself as "not one to ask for advice on men"!  

Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jim were the ones who started the fruitcake thing.  Buried deep within a new pair of Pjs was a Claxton brick.  We passed that thing back and forth for years and there was even one in my 40th birthday cake.  Touche, Janice and Nancy.  

My friend John Sammons who was a real smartass decided he would play when I gave him a Claxton.  The little general refused to transport packages from me to him so I had to plan wisely.  He was one of greatest men I've ever known.  Seriously.


I visited the NP this morning for stich removal and other post op care.  She showed me pictures on her IPad of inside of my shoulder and it was indeed "a hot mess."  No wonder it hurt.  Which it still does, BTW but that's normal.  I return to see the surgeon in a month for asessment of release to work.  There are PT orders and megaibuprofens.  

I woke up this morning....WIDE awake...at 4AM.  My body is a little confused I reckon.  I listened as bird beep came on even though it never really got light.  I guess they just know.  The golf course behind me looks like the Bare Trees album cover thanks to the misty rain.  And Mamye, God love her, is gone to get me some AA batteries for the remote.  Who loves me, right?

Joyful ~

wet and dreary

The dull gray of the past few days finally turned into full on miserable and rainy.  This is one day I'm grateful to be stuck in the house.  The pain is still there and probably made worse by the crummy weather, but I'm improving slowly.  I go in and out of the sling depending on the pain level to keep range of motion going.  

Except for the internet, I'm pretty much cut off from the world and I'm losing track of what day it is.  My Mary Engelbreit wall calendar keeps it straight.  A new one for 2018 is already hanging as I look ahead to baby new year.  One of my fondest memories is when we dressed Tommy up in a diaper and paraded him around Gaga's house as the new year child.  We also put dixie cups on Millette's head.  Fun times!

My routine has settled into a comfortable one where I go down early and wake up around 8 or 9.  By then the pain med has worn off and it's time for a half.  The critters are so used to having me here that they will freak when I go back to work.  

Y'all give me a heads up if Trump launches any new missles and I'll head for the basement where the snakes live.  They should be asleep by now.

^j^

gloria!

Advent is creeping along toward "the day" and there's a possibility of snow on Christmas Eve.  Would that not be swell?  Here in Tennessee white Christmases are few and far between.  I remember one eve going to the communion service at the Cumberland Presbyterian Church with my parents and then on to a family gathering at my cousin's house....on Daddy's side.  All those folks are gone now except for baby sister Kathy.  

Mamye is my go to girl these days, checking in on me every day to see what I need.  I'd be pretty stranded if it weren't for she and Beverly.  I've gotten a real kick out of looking at kids pictures with Santa, especially my cousins Olivia and Charlie.  He's just a grinning all eat up in cuteness and she's bawling and reaching for Mama!  Cooper, Levi and Neely had the same Santa only he didn't look near as happy as he did with the other two.  I think Cooper was being mischievous. 

My grandmother was fairly wealthy after losing my Pawpaw at the age of 45 so I have tons of childhood memories of getting too much of everything.  She took me to The Enchanted Forest at Goldsmith's and Debbie never let me live it down that she missed it.  After gathering at our individual homes for Santa, we all piled into her house, wherever it was at the time, and opened MORE presents.  She had an aluminum tree with the lights and all.  Slowly rotating.  Vintage.

I was the oldest of the tribe and Gaga and I had a special bond.  By the time I got out of med tech school she was working at the hospital ( long story ) and we had that in common as well.  She was forced to retire at 70.  Now they'll let you work til you die on the job.  Following her retirement she ramped up the Pink Ladies and together with others opened a gift shop that still stands.  Their candy bars are only a buck and they have Willow Tree.

It's kind of cool how this surgery has forced me to slow down and concentrate on tasks rather than rushing through which is my normal nature.  I usually multi-task myself into a giant mess.  With enough pain medicine, I'm able to cook which is something I love and never take time for.  Lily sits behind me in the computer chair while I type.  The boys are asleep on my bed.  

I followed a thread yesterday posted by a friend who is a former police officer, part of the elite juvenile task force that took on the gangs in Dyersburg.  I had totally forgotten that all this happened and never knew that my brother was in the THP helicopter that was shot at.  Yikes.  That was 20 years ago.  

So today is budget day the day we all get screwed with the tax package.  I am still stunned that Corker had the balls to pull his move.  I didn't vote for him, BTW.  Nor for Lamar.  Governor Haslam is more of a progressive kind of guy and even though he's rich too, he looks after growth for our state rather than strictly his party line.  His administration has made an important contribution in the form of small business development like The Mill.  Unless we let ATT and Disney run us into the ground with fees, somebody best get a plan.

Feliz Navidad~

solitary confinement

Yeah, I'm still here attempting to entertain my one armed self.  The tree is decorated and me and the critters are chilling in the office where it sits.  Lauren sent me a video of Reaves playing with her feet and I've watched it over and over.  I love it, but it just ain't the same.  She doesn't need toys from Santa...just more toes to play with!

As it turns out, this will be a very untraditional Christmas which I resigned myself to yesterday in a fit of self pity.  Things could be worse.  I could be stuck in the Atlanta airport or running from California wildfires!!  I'm still peeling tape off my back and sleeping a lot.  Those first few days post op I slept for 14 hours at a time.  Coming off the propofol I guess.  I'm still pretty much in bed by dark or at least winding down to eat and head that way.  I know...how exciting. Oddly enough, I don't watch TV in bed like most people.  Partly because I can't find the remote.  I know, I need a keeper.

I go to the NP on Thursday and will need another MFR treatment soon.  That technique is amazingly gentle and effective, a far cry from traditional physical therapy.  My fascia has been traumatized like a mofo.

Here's to all y'all and your momma 'n them.  Merry and bright!

christmas past

I woke up this morning slowly, which has been the norm since surgery.  As I lay there in the dim light tears came to my eyes and I don't really know why.  My pain is fairly well controlled and I have everything I need except for my little family whom I miss terribly.  We were together so much that first six weeks that it seems like way more than three weeks since I've had their hugs.  We are all we have now....the three of us.  

I miss my parents too.  It was on the Sunday before Christmas that my mother went down at church, her osteoporitic hip snapping on its' own.  She never went back to her home away from home, spending the holidays in the nursing home with a pinned hip.  Our last holiday breakfast consisted of me and Lauren and Bubba gathering with her in the dining room with our own homecooked favorites like cheese grits.  Within a few weeks the pins came out and she went back to surgery for a hip replacement.  All went surprisingly well with that.  And then? The diverticulum ruptured.  The only possible repair was another surgery which she couldn't survive.  It snowed the day before she died on January 23rd.  Tommy left his wife and kids to a blizzard in Virginia to get here.  

My parents loved the Christmas season.  Back in the day that log cabin was decked out from head to toe with lights which Daddy always did himself.  In the later years they settled for a mini tree from Kroger but still found delight in decorating.  Our tradition was a late breakfast at their house and time around the tree as a family, Every other year I worked but usually managed to at least get away long enough to eat.  Now the cabin sits empty with 60 years worth of Christmas past ghosts celebrating our family.

We have tried to keep those traditions alive and create new ones.  Bubba says I can cook "almost" as good as Mama did.  I dug through a box of ornaments yesterday and Mamye found me covered in glitter when she arrived with my Norfolk pine.  Lights will go on today, just a strand or two.  

I know a lot of people who are hurting this season, missing those who are gone.  Two of my friends lost their wives this year.  There have been many losses but lots of blessings.  Reaves is one of them.  

Hold your family tight and remember that it won't always be that way.  

^j^

on topic

I can tell by the traffic on here that recovery from shoulder surgery is a pretty boring read.  There's only so much to say without whining which is not me.  Well, maybe a little.  I discovered today that my check was short so thank goodness I didn't go wild with the Christmas shoppping.  

Debridement of a joint is sort of like major housecleaning with tools to scrape and mend.  My shoulder was so full of fluid that the nurse noticed it was swollen in pre-op.  The doc found it as soon as he cut!  That's part of the process....washing out that fluid so that the joint can be seen and repaired.  I will not lie.  It is a very uncomfortable procedure that you don't just have on a whim.  I was in some pretty bad pain and I see why now.  

Trisha came by last night with a plate of homemade food and a care package from Jackie.  People have been so good to me and I really appreciate it.  To be a single gal in the country and not able to drive gives me a taste of what my parents went through.  They depended on us for rides everywhere during the last five years.  Mama even called a cab one time!

I need a baby tree but ain't really motivated to get out and buy one, ya know?  It's just me here and I've got the nativity scene out.  That's what's up in my book.

^j^

one week out

My hair has been bothering the crap out of me because it's so long and I can't reach to get the clip in.  Marla took care of that for me this morning and gave me a made by her mama sausage ball.  Hair salons are eating central around Christmas.  Bubba picked me up, dropped me off and delivered me to the next driver which was my neighbor Beverly.  With a car load kids, she delivered me to Gay for an MFR treatment which was absolutely heavenly.  Thanks all around to those who helped a girl out.

The house is a wreck but there's not much I can do about it.  I did manage to wash dishes one handed last night and I can do laundry that way as well.  The rest will have to wait for more mobility or a professional.  

I went out in my coat that looks suspiciciously like the handmaid's cape only it's not red but shed it pretty quick as the sun came out and the day warmed.  Bev and her crew are on a cookie making mission today following her daughter's last day at school.  They told me all about who's got what part in the Christmas play at church.  I am blessed to have them for neighbors.  

Bless Bubba's heart he thought I could DRIVE like this which I suppose I could but it wouldn't be very safe.  One wrong jerk on the left side and I'd be in a ditch.  As it turns out, Bev is the one who hit the bobcat and then her hub smacked the possum.  That solves that mystery.;

Y'all keep it merry.  Santa is watching ~

challenged

The camry hasn't been started in a week and I had a back porch full of garbage so I loaded up the trunk with my right hand and proceeded out to the road where the can sits.  One by one..right hand only.  It's cold, by the way.  There were two Christmas cards in the box along with a certified letter notice FINAL from the IRS.  It's okay.  I know what it says.

Net neutrality will more than likely die today at the same time Disney purchases Fox.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I could be wrong but it sounds like Big Brother will have the upper hand in this "market based" move.  

Meanwhile, the White House staff shifts and shuffles.  I cannot in my wildest dreams imagine why Trump would want Bannon to run Moore's campaign.  Maybe he has memory loss but it backfired and Progessives all over America rejoiced.  A precedent has been set, so to speak.  Maybe there's hope after all.  

Sadly, I came to the end of the Handmaid's Tale.  Now I have to find another addiction to fill time.  The pantry is full thanks to Mamye.  She noticed something dead on the side of the road yesterday but I totally missed it.  As it turns out it's some kind of giant cat ( bobcat maybe? ) and a possum that got into it and both of them died.  Bubba has pictures and the warden will check it out.   Let's hope the boys know better than to tangle with that. 

I'm expecting a call from the APN to find out exactly what was done since the tendons weren't repaired.  Hopefully something got fixed after all this.  I knew going in that it was a possibility.  Prayers for mobility!

Onward ~

today's outing

It literally kicked my ass...and my shoulder.  I had to get some stamps to pay propane guy and dentist guy and everybody else.  That was stop one.  As I was leaving I passed the PD coming out and we exchanged good mornings.  I don't think he recognized me in my crippled get up.  Next was the cancer center where I paid for a smoked ham from the DC baseball team.  To die for y'all.  

Then we tackled Kroger which was "not bad" since it was 1PM.  Give it a few hours and it'll be a madhouse.  A kind man who bags offered to load the car up for Mamye and me which was a true blessing  She had boxes of firestarter log!  She bought me Mexican to go, we made a couple more stops and then pulled up to Casa Poops to unload.  Cousin Marilyn had come by with some goodies while I was out and they were hanging high on the welcome sign out front.  All is well.

And now....back to The Handmaids.  

lather, rinse, repeat

Since I'm off the grid, so to speak, my days and nights are mine to squander.  I manage to get a bath every day and catch a ride to the store when necessary.  Mamye makes a food run daily and assures that I'm alive.  The girls aren't coming until Christmas which is probably a good thing.  I would trip over big girl Reaves in her chair!  

Hulu keeps me entertained.  So does Facebook.  I had to make a payment arrangement with ATT today on the DSL so that I'm not cut off from the world.  That would be bad.

Ya'll holla if Trump gets stupid and the missles are headed our way.  Leave a message at the beep.

^j^

the good patient

When I had shoulder surgery three years ago Lauren was my nurse and she swears I was a holy non-compliant terror.  As best as I can remember she's right.  This time around has been different because I'm alone.  Every step is measured and careful.  I keep moving to reduce the chance of clots and to keep the arm in a small amount of motion so it won't lock up.  I took my first whole pain pill last night and slept for 16 hours.  That felt good.  The night of surgery I was on the way to the bathroom at Regina's and felt myself going down so I just slid into it.  She helped me up and we carried on.  

I got a message this morning that an old friend died yesterday.  He was by far one of the most brilliant men I've ever known.  

I will never forget the only time I ever appeared as a witness in court and it was for him.  He said he probably wouldn't need me to nail the case so I sat outside the courtroom for hours until I was finally called.  It was obvious on the faces of the other party and his attorney that my little story hadn't even been thought of us ammo for a custody trial.  He was an avid domino player and lover of the high life.  And he will be missed, especially at the kudzu bar.

It's gonna be a long ten days until I see Leigh Ann for removal of stiches and asessment of function.  Then time with Gay will commence.  Merry Christmas to me!!  Meanwhile, there's always Hulu for entertainment.  The Handmaid's Tale is like a freakin' train wreck....horrible but you can't look away.  

Another day, another terrorist attack...this one unsuccessful.  Why do they hate us?  I've never figured that one out except that it's always been thus and so.  So Trump and Roy Moore are about the only accused molesters still standing.  What's up with that?  Can't we fire them like the networks fired Lauer? Just a thought

Teach your children well~

just a slinging

Third day post-op is supposed to be the worst and I am still pretty wonky but not hurting.  The dressing is off and I'm hanging out in the sling.  Work just flew over and I'm grateful not to be on board.  I am in my own little world here with folks checking in and out.  Patrick went to the store for me before church.  I knew I needed something new to watch and got a taste of The Handmaid's Tale" at Regina's so I promptly got HULU and that's my entertainment for now.  I'm missing my girls pretty bad.

Got a certified letter announcement from the IRS yesterday like I don't know that I owe them my refund.  Take it off the top boys.  I'd hate for Trump to miss out on a buck for his wall. I may be crippled but i'm still full of snark.  

Pain has been minimal thank you Lord.  My voice is squeaky so I'm not sure what that's about except maybe intubation?  Plus my eyes are swollen.  Probably all expected after surgery.  There's a lot of bruising all the way down my boob because it flows south I reckon.  I can't imagine how bad it would be had I not laid off the NSAIDs for a week.

Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers.  Last night I successfully and safely washed my hair in the sink and took a sit down bath.  It was heavenly to be clean!  The world is twirling without me and I'm perfectly okay with that.  

Peace ~

day two

Mamye picked me up this morning for a ride to the 'gentral for basic food stuff.  I chose easy like microwave.  I'm not in much pain which is a miracle.  My next goal is to undress the surgical site and take a shower.  Tomorrow.  

Score at the dolla store:  snacks and house shoes.  My next purchase will be a Snoopy tree from Lowes if there's anything left.  Maybe one strand of lights if there's rosemary left.  

One day at a time ^j^

the day after

Surgery  went well but the surgeon wasn't able to completely repair the tears so there's that to deal with.  I'm looking forward to Gays magic in a week or so.  Mamye dropped me off and Regina picked me up afterwards.  Many prayers have come my way and the blessing is felt.  They did a nerve block in pre-op which made me pain free until this morning.  My entire left arm and hand were numb so we had a heckuva time last night tryin to figure getting in and out of the damned thing. I'll be wearing it for several weeks.  

I get to be the Princess here, so to speak.  Gigi is taking excellent care of the one armed lady.  Her little dog Bella is in doggie jail so we are walking around her little gate thingie.  She can move the thing across the room just by pushing from the inside.  

Today's treat was getting to see Ed Sheeran on two of the morning shows.  What a talent he is.  Regina is working her her office wbere she operates her appraisal business. I'm entertaing myself here at the kitchen island sorrounded by Christmas.  I'm loving it.  Can't wait to see my girls next week.

It's time to heal now and nothing would lift my spirits more than anything is having Lauren and Reaves coming for a visit.  I have bought ZERO presents for them but there's still time. Hopefully we will spend Christmas together.  Reaves is smiling and happy in a lot of pictures we have compiled by smart phone since her birth in September.

I don't know what's the news because I'm still kind of wonky and can't concentrate.  It's all bad news with the media outlets so I seek out news on a conservative liberal sort of thing.  I guess you'd call that Independent like Bernie.  

Mamye is dog and cat tending until I get home.  Probably tomorrow.  They chased us down the lane because Mamye was taking their Mama away.  Tell me they're not protective!  They are a great burglar alam because they bark whenever  cars come up the lane. Plus I got a knife and "i will cutchoo" in a heart beat if you try to take on the old lady.  

Over and out from Casa Regina ^j^

bite the arm that feeds you

Oscar was horribly abused physically before he came to live with us.  He has flourished here and turned into quite a little lover.  Except when he's asleep and you scare him.  Or course they sleep with me so I've learned to move carefully so that I remain next to a dog but with space to move.  Last night when I moved Oscar dug in one spot deep.  Thank the lord I'd had something for pain.  He's not mean...just damaged.  

I've got the sage burning to blow off bad vibes and stress prior to surgery.  I'm ready to get it over with and move on.  The girls are coming to see me for a coupla days on Tuesday and that's a blessing.  The one armed woman and a baby.  UCMTSU

Prayers are always appreciated.  I can feel the power ^j^

i give

There ain't enough opiates in the world to fix this and function at the same time.  Therefore, I will work tomorrow and get it "fixed" as one friend said.  I've already done it once and survived.  As long as I don't catch MRSA things should be swell.  

Amazon exceeded my expectations with shipment two days early for only 12 bucks.  Christmas online is what's up.  I ordered something for Reaves not realizing that it's a pre-publish thing so she'll get it for her first birthday.  Mama's clock is chiming as I type.  Joy to the World!  

I said goodbye to a friend and co-worker today and found myself in tears.  He has been a good friend during very hard times and I'll miss him.  He told me his favorite memory of me is how we got all those puppies adopted.  You can't make that stuff up.

The plumbing team came by today to make sure the pump won't freeze during the arctic weather.  I'm grateful for that because I've been froze up for days.  It's the renter's responsibility to make sure that doesn't happen.  And I'm a single girl.

I'm getting daily pictures of Reaves who is growing like crazy and smiling up a storm.  Lauren is back at work and loving it.  Hopefully we'll arrange some kind of visit soon.  

Noel ~ 

vulnerability

I see us going back to the old ways.  Like when families live together because they can't afford not to.  The more Congress chips away at "entitlements" the harder it is to make a living on minimum wage.  It's a Catch 22.  Take the Children's Health Insurance program.  It is unfunded as of September leaving thousands of children without healthcare.  Meanwhile, the hedge fund managers who live in the Virgin Islands and elsewhere are raking in the money.  It's disgusting and Jesus wouldn't do that.  

I do agree that there is rampant abuse of these programs that are being raped  by those who live off of it and keep having children.  And we pay the bill.  However, for someone truly in need these programs can be the difference between starvation and the ability to get out and work.  SS disability is one of the most widely abused programs around.  Would it be there for me?  Probably not because I'm still able to work, so far.  At the age of 62 after 45 years in the workforce I expect what I have paid in to be there.  If not, I'll have to move in with somebody and share the rent.  

I've already been to the 'gentral and ran into an old friend of my parents who told he how he missed arguing with my Mama.  She was a feisty one.  "I do too" was my reply.  We have come full circle on the round of death and loss that visited in 2015 and 16.  

A change in the weather is blowing in from the south.  I tried to buy some deicer but the gentral doesn't have any "yet".  I depend on that stuff to melt the frost when I head to work at the buttcrack of dawn.  AutoZone, here I come next trip to the outside world.  

My house is a wreck and I'm so not inspired to clean it.  Fatigue and chronic pain have me by the balls, so to speak.  The same is true of a lot of others.  My days of going above and beyond are over.  I miss my girls terribly but that short distance and other things prevent us from seeing much of each other.  Thank goodness for smart phones with cameras.  

Enjoy your day even if it is Monday.  Today's gift was a hearty thank you from a guy that I let go in front of me at the store.  He only had two things and I had a basket full.  He thanked me not once but twice and wished me a blessed Christmas.  That's what's up.  

Pay it forward ~

'til the fat lady sings

Nothing is ever really over.  Things just slowly turn into history which can be studied and gleaned for knowledge how not to repeat mistakes.  As I study the mean ass group of Republicans that did the tax bill ( minus Corker of course )  I am astounded that these money grubbers are cutting SS right when I hit retirement age.  Entitlement my ass.  That's something I've paid into my entire working life with NO interest and you're gonna cut me off?  You have not seen wrath yet.  Wait til all those enlightened not rich baby boomers come after you in the night.  They will be the walking dead so be very afraid.

I'm watching Shameless again because I missed a lot the first time.  Love me some Sheila!  Joan Cusack has been a fav of mine from back in her SNL days.  Wickedly funny in an overplayed sort of way, her character defines what women thought they should be in this world during the 50s.  

We got to share two meals at the sawmill today which is kind of unusual  so we jumped on it.  Natalie has a beautiful voice and we sang a couple of Christmas tunes during the weekend.  She'll be singing karaoke here real soon I just betcha.  My friends are driving home from Chicago today and one of them will be planning her Dad's funeral when she gets back.  

I read a piece today about dealing with grieving folks and how the number one bad thing is to say "i know how you feel."  While we think that since we've had a shared experience, it's not fresh and new like it is to them.  Mostly I just listen.

Wasn't that moon fabulous?  Clouds covered it right as I was leaving for work.  There is zero traffic that time of day on Sunday morning except for cops and a few working stiffs.  The Tucker Tire tree is lit and that makes me happy every time I pass.  It's a tradition that has outlived two floods.  

Lily is curled up behind me doing whatever cats do when they groom.  And purring at the same time.  She's aging gracefully I must say, just like her brothers.  

Happy first Sunday in Advent ~

pushing through

Y'all.  There are no words for the menace that is chronic pain.  Some of us have a much higher tolerance for it which puts us at risk for "doing too much" as my Mama would say.  At 62 I'm walking a circle on conrete floors for a living.  I seriously love what I do but it's hard on the old body.  I need a desk job!

Tom came out to show me some prints of his work here on the farm and they are to die for.  Then Shirley ran the battery out and I had to go give 'em a boost by the silos.  He's lucky he had cables because I don't know where mine are.  

It's a beautiful day in the hood for December.  Warm enough for short sleeves.  When I drove by Gail and Fred's "church home" I saw her sitting outside with kids.  We all go ALL the way back.  

I'm not gonna' rant about the tax bill because I see revolt coming big time.  People are realizing that we've been screwed ever since Trump decided to run.  He's a freakin' game show host for the love of god.  Meanwhile he's making MORE money than God and killing life as we know it.  When the stock market takes a plunge on today's tidbit, you can bet things are about to get hairy.  Hide you cash in a jar in the yard.

We all know that Russia was involved in that election.  To what extent, I can't tell you.  It just seems like Syria dropped off the radar afterwards.  Then people started fighting over every little thing here in our own country...rehashing the past and trying to re-create it.  When it comes to hedge fund managers I almost understand 9/11.  Almost.

They hate us and we had no business getting into a war that resulted in thousands of civilian and military deaths.  Instead of securing the borders then, we went trillions into debt to benefit Dick Cheney.  Remember when those contractors got burned on the bridge in Fallujah?  That's when I would have said get the hell out.  Many journalists lost their lives as well.  Matt Lauer was not one of them.  That happened this week.

I hear gunshots so that must mean almost sunset in the holler.  Maybe they're killing the coyotes.

Onward ~

face time

Babies change so quickly that if you don't see them for a week or two they're doing something new.  Thanks to technology we can be live with our people.  About to try that with Reaves and Lauren.  I feel a good cry coming on so maybe that will help.  

Change is constant.  As you get older those changes come closer together to where you're continually adapting.  It has taken me almost two years to not be sad about my parents and the loss of that way of life.  It was stressful and I wore myself out but we were still all together in some way or another.  

It's highly unusual for somebody to work in the same building for 40 years which is why my feet hurt.  We have been through multiple changes in staffing this year and it's about knocked us all for a loop.  Yet we carry on and celebrate in little ways like pizza!day!   The pace was pleasant and we helped each other.  That's what's up.  

I overheard a video today that caught my attention.  It was two radical racists.....one white and one black.  Watching both men made me sad for the division based on race.  We are all of one bloodline for sure.  There's just a lot of crooks in some of them.  You are my brother or sister or whatever you choose to be because we are all made by one God.  And that God doesn't payback for transgressions.  Karma is what does that.

I'm not sure what's gotten into Corker but I think he's trying to piss Trump off at our expense.  Not that the tax package is that wonderful, mind you.  He just seems to be grandstanding  and we don't need any more of that.  Just saying.

I got paid today so what little shopping I do is now or never and will most definitely be online.  My friends are at Holiday Mart in Chicago and I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that!  What a diverse group.  I hit Heather up for the beach next year with babies included of course.  We're on a mission for May.  Only there will be a LOT more stuff this time.  A two car caravan for sure.  

Be merry~