mudslide

The dirt work is almost finished and it's a big muddy mess out on Pecan Lane. Dude is waiting to see if the new ditch drains and then he's outta here. Fortunately there's plenty of rain today for the trial run. I'm off and loving it even though the weather is not so nice. It beats sticking people with needles, ya know?

One of my little pleasures when there's time is playing with pictures. There's a local photography club that meets monthly and I've been "too busy" to attend. I think I'll make time for it next month. What the heck.

^J^

TGIS

That's the weekend person's version of TGIF when you get Monday off. I'll think about ya'll while I'm playing in the dirt tomorrow. Weekends are particularly tiring because of short staffing and ER use abuse. Enough said. It's over for three more weeks. Actually, I'll get a free one off when we go to the beach. I didn't plan it that way, but I'm scheduled to work the weekend of her graduation and we leave that Sunday. Not that I'm complaining or anything :)

It rained a bunch on that big old firepit and cleared the smoke out of the air. he's started on dead trees now and it's fun to watch them go down. I was sad at first about losing the old sheds but it looks so nice with a clear view that I'm appreciating it already. Thanks Bubba!

I wouldn't tell just anybody this (heh) but I've got a confession to make. I had a few beers the other night and cut my OWN hair. With dull scissors, no less. I suppose you could call it a running stafford fit because I was just tired of putting that little hangy down part up in a clip. No harm done, and my work friend the meanie straightened it up for me.

It's too pretty to be sitting here in front of a screen after three whole days on one. Catch ya'll on the other side of daylight.

^j^

crash and burn

That picture up top pretty much depicts how I feel this afternoon. Somewhere in the middle of all that smoke there's a guy tending the fire so he can bury it later. Old wood and barbed wire. It's nature's way. One of my buddies one time said you have to "make a mess to clean one up." That's pretty much been the game plan around here for fifty two years. My parents are comfy in their golden years with many friends and family to help them out. I shudder to think about those who don't.

The sawmill provided some end-of-the-business-week drama as everybody scrambles to save money for the company and their stockholders while the rats jump ship. Oh, and be nice to the clients too. Umm. Of course...that's what nice southern girls do best.

Is it wrong for me to be glad we were spared one damn more line of killer storms? There will be others, I'm sure. Those folks trudging around in cold North Dakota floodwater just make me want to fix 'em some hot chocolate or something."Things can always be worse." Don't know who said that. Probably Hoss or my mother.

BG is on spring break ala Pecan Lane. Not much longer until she walks and we go to the beach. Do I hear an amen?

Having been a bit preoccupied with the sawmill and graduation and such I have failed to check on my dear friends from the b**groll lately. In fact I don't even HAVE one at this site yet. When I do get around to setting it up, there will be one place on the roll that I will sorely miss...that of my old buddy Hossie. During a rare quiet moment at work I visited a couple of folks and learned that he died two weeks ago. He was sick and tired and fortunately Oregon allows assisted suicide for the terminally ill.

When I first began blogging he was one of my favorites from the get-go. Lowell Gene Maudlin was his real name but he quickly became Old Hoss or Hossie to those who visited Old Horsetail Snake for daily laughs. If I had a nickel for every time the smartass gave me a belly laugh, I'd be on my boat to Fiji. He became sort of quasi-famous as an elderblogger and attended a convention in Vegas a few years ago. His itinerary also included visits to Tennessee, Texas and Michigan. I was his host for the Tennessee leg of that trip and boy did we have some good times. My friend picked him up at the Memphis airport and we met halfway at another friend's tea room for the big swap. This was AFTER a last minute stop at the local Lincare to pick up an oxygen tank.

He was struggling for breath until we got the oxygen on him because he had been without all day on the plane. After that little rest stop we headed toward the house some 45 minutes up highway 51. He was absolutely awed at the sight of our little lane draped in pecan limbs and fluttering with birds. We did our own things for the most part....I cooked dinner and did yard work while he watched TV. He slept both nights with Butterbean snuggled up to his bony butt.

The next day, after breakfast, we went off exploring and visited my Mom and Dad a bit before heading into town to hit up the boss's yard sale. We bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and proceeded to get to know each other. He was a brilliant man....former speech writer for the governor of Oregon and humorist extraordinaire. The time flew and we took off late afternoon to explore the fishing hole. That's when the trouble started.

We passed over Samaria Bend onto the field road toward the river and got stuck in the mud about a halfa mile into the muck. Note to self: Camrys don't do well in mud. Buy a Find a sugardaddy with a truck who doesn't mind gettin' it dirty. Of course, Hoss couldn't walk the mile back to the house so I hoofed it back in the fading daylight to call a wrecker. Smooth left him there sitting there in the field to die, or so he says. With the wrecker service on the way, me and dawgs hiked back down the hill toward a walking and not-so-out-of-breath Hossie. Totally pissed off in a curmudgeonly sort of endearing way, if you know what I mean. The wrecker picked me up about halfway down and we went to pick his old ass up and get back home to where the bottle was. Butterbean spotted a skunk to the left and got sprayed from head to toe as we passed by. Gene....bless.his.heart, wanted her to ride in the cab of the wrecker with us but reason prevailed and she ran behind us all the way to civilization.

Last time I saw him was at the airport again, sittin' in a wheelchair headed in a plane to Tish's place in Texas and a few days of hanging out with her family. I cried because I loved him and I knew that time was short and we would never see each other again, me and this smartass guy who flew a brazillion miles without oxygen just to meet live and in person.

Hoss taught me a lot...about dung beetles and "so it goes" and scientists muttering "too bad." But mostly, I learned about living life to the fullest and enjoying the moment, skunks and all. Peroxide and vinegar can be had for cheap.
Last time we talked was a bit forgetful so I had to remind him about leaving him out there to die in the wilderness. Told him I loved him. If only real life afforded that kind of luxury for closure, ya know?

God bless hospice and Scamp.

^j^

let there be light dirt

Hoo boy...it doesn't get much better than watching guys move dirt with heavy equipment which is what's happening all around us here. Bubba is cleaning the place up quite nicely, knocking down rotten wood and dead trees. When they get done, I'll show you before and after pictures.

Today was EMG and nerve conduction study day. Guess what? Uh..yep. What I already knew. Big time carpal tunnel syndrome. Sounds like there's a big fat painful shot of cortisone in my near future *ewwwww* I snuck away from the sawmill long enough to get that done in between slams from the ER all.freaking.day.long. I've been "snake bit" ever since we went to Tunica. Didn't hit anything bigger than 2.50 the whole time. I take that as a sign from Big Ernie to save my money for the beach. Counting down the days now...........

I noticed on the homepage that the stock market is SOARING. That makes a lot of people happy, those with funny money on the line. As for myself, I was just tickled to be able to pay the unusually-high-for-winter utility bill today before cutoff time tomorrow. Yes! I am easily amused and a cheap date. And when the dirt work is done? I get new gravel for the dirt driveway. Can you say wooooooohoooooooo!

Over and out from Pecan Lane. Ya'll keep the faith ^j^

jackpot

My friend and I went down to one of the casino hotels in Tunica yesterday just to get away from reality. And boy...did we ever. It's been twenty years since I went there to visit the very first one called "Splash" that still had the planks where you walk over the river to get in. Now it's a huge resort and gambling complex that has turned the county into a well employed place teeming with activity. The most amazing thing to me was the number of tourists...many Asian..who were there with little kids just checkin' the place out. Go figure.

We played cheap slots and the poker machines while watching the Memphis tigers ( my alma mater, btw) kill Marlyland slowly. We ate. We talked. We watched sappy girl gets boy movies on TBS. It was absolutely heaven on earth for 36 hours. The noise gets to you after awhile though. I mean, gah. It's like a freaking carnival up in there.

She and I have known each other professionally for thirty years, but only became close friends when we began working together at the sawmill. She is a little older and much wiser than this little smartass in a lot of ways. We have leaned on each other during some very difficult times in both of our lives and that's a real bond you can hold tightly to. Plus, she makes the best damned chicken salad around.

This one's for you girl. Keep the faith ^j^

humility as a virtue

This has been a tough week for me in many ways. Oh, the sawmill is always a joy...ya'll know that. But it's doable if I get enough rest. We are winding up a chapter in our lives as BG gets ready to graduate and BF (best friend) prepares to move to south Texas. We have lived our lives together for close to seven years and all the angst that can be packed into that time frame. We're all ready to turn the page.

Someone has told a lie about me to a co-worker that has caused a lot of anxiety WTF!*%@ for me. The CW steadfastly believes that lie and it's not comfortable AT ALL. The whole thing is so bizarre to consider that if she really knew me, she'd laugh at the whole idea. In the words of Mr. Y, "this too shall pass."

The guy with the heavy equipment is across the road playing in the dirt. He's got work to do on my side of the lane too, finishing off the sheds that have whacked at for a couple of weeks. He'll also push down some dead pine trees that became dead because I caught the pasture on fire one time. That was a real Kodak moment!

BG is being on call for the grands this weekend while I run away and play with Sue. We deserve it. It's really sort of an angel kinda trip because it's free thanks to perks from her adventures with her late husband George. After his death in February of last year she spent a lot of emotional energy working through the maze that is medical error reporting and accountability. I'm glad that's over.

Spring is here because the hostas are coming up. That's a sure sign every time March Madness hits. It's so amazing to me how things change so quickly day to day during the growing season. Like that big fat multiflora rose that's been choking out my asparagus! I imagine that'll be history pretty soon along with the ancient fencing. One horse only needs a reasonable spot to be lazy and try to get out. As Bubba said: " He'll probably die as soon as we're done."

For the first time in twenty one years all three floors of my house are basically de-cluttered. There are still piles of dirt, but the big stuff is gone or moved to a pile. That says a lot for my organizational skills, huh? The things that are left are precious and mean something to one of us. There is a work table in the basement where I play with wood and fabric dreaming up funky looking frames.

I'm weary....tgif.

god's nose

That's what I always thought that Ethel was saying when we acted like brats. But, really we weren't. Just kids trying to have a good time. Her basement had walls of dirt and lots of plastic funeral arrangements scattered around. Everybody took flowers to the cemetary back in that day. Her husband Oscar, or Ockie as we called him, died when we were little kids but she always kept a picture of him in the back bedroom where we'd have to tiptoe to the porcelain bathroom. The one time I tried to sleep in that room his freakin' EYES watched me all night. Sheesh!

Debbie and I were the oldest so we got to experience that creepy crawly feeling of having a dead person's eyes watching you. Now that I'm older I recognize that as the definition of angel. Death doesn't scare me anymore because I've seen it done the familial way and the hard way. We dressed our younger siblings up as the new year's babies just for fun and marveled at the souveniers of Gaga's world travels. She wasn't much on cooking, bless her heart. That was always provided by the live-in cooks who wore paper sacks for hats and fried chicken for a living. It was the south in the fifties, like it or not. Ethel loved pretty birds and always had a canary or two in the dining room cage. It was a special treat to go down to the Woolworth's and look at the color. She'd always buy us a coke or something up at the counter where the stools were just a tad high for kid legs to reach.

Ethel's house was right across the street from my paternal grandmother so it was really a convenient after school destination. Both of my parents worked full time and one of 'em would pick us up in the coupe de jour. Alice Thurmond Elementary school was right next to both of their houses so I was totally hooked up for lunch. Mama has told me several times about Ethel hollering at Ockie while he headed toward the KW Rogers store to work. We have pictures somewhere....we're that kind of crew.

I'm going away with my good friend Sue this weekend because it's free and she's a shitload of fun. Plus, I love her. I can't wait to tell her about my day. It just might match her stories of the Red Hats who converge on congregate at her restaurant and antique shop on 51 North.

Ya'll go pick some flowers. It's good for an old soul.

^j^

doing the math

I'm filling in for our front desk gal while she's out on surgical leave so I get to listen to CNN all day in the waiting room. Needless to say it was all about AIG and their little hearing today. All of our patients had an educated opinion and from what I gathered it seems that all this shit crap was a done deal before President Obama ever took office. Kinda like Dubya's parting gift to us for being critical of the way the war office has been handled. Don't ya'll just ADORE his administration for leaving us in THIS shape?

Thought I caught a glimpse of SD the other day at the sawmill but it was a false alarm as he had to return to corporate headquarters on an urgent mission to help people live longer and with more diagnostically inclined lives. It pays for the beer and cheese, if you know what I mean. Dude always talks about fishing but so far I've never even caught a glimpse of a pole or any kind of bait.

We're counting down the days until graduation and our big fat beach celebration. She'll owe the government around 25K for the privilege of being paid to change things from the bottom up. There just might be some wisdom in growing that idea if you're not all about the money.

Sunset is gorgeous.

Keep the faith ^j^

green beer

Looks pretty nasty to me, but I'm funny like that. If I could afford good whiskey, that would be my drink of choice. Us redneck smartass gals make do with low calorie/low carb hops until sugardaddy comes along with a slow boat to Fiji.

BG and Annamarie have taken up walking Pecan Lane to shed the ugly winter pounds that tend to pack onto the butt and tummy. Conner came out with Anna today to experience another spring on the farm and we went to check out the animals and flowers. Dude totally wants to be a pizza chef like his dad when he grows up. That's him up there looking all cute and stuff.

Everybody's in survival mode as far as I can tell, which ain't a bad place to be right now what with Congress considering taxation of our employer provided health benefits to pay for lord knows what. That...ain't cool.

Does anybody have a good easy recipe for carrot cake?

new blood

I've been to two funerals in three days and I've gotta just say that it can get depressing at times to keep the faith. Sort of a heavy load. Today I took a break (off the clock, of course) to give my old friend LPT a hug right before they sang his brother into heaven. As always, acapella or on tape. Not the way I wanna go, if you know what I mean. My dear friend, the little general has expressed a burning desire to go out with a choir suited up in hot pink robes and lots of wailing over the casket. Somehow that makes more sense to me than lining up politely in suits to pay respects to a dead body in an expensive box.

Some of you random readers might remember that DirecTV pulled a fast one on me last year by running some sort of unauthorized bullshit on my debit card. The bank finally came through about three months later but now I'm being dogged by a debt collection agency somewhere in Iowa. As Hoss would say..."And so it goes." The sun will come up tomorrow.

^j^

don't jump!

My brother called a little bit ago to catch up on the state of things today. We both bitched to high heaven about how depressed we are because the sun hasn't been out in a week. We all need some Vitamin D, ya know what I mean? There might be some truth to the SADD thing they talk about on TV. On the brighter side, I picked some asparagus this afternoon. Well, just two. But it's something to keep the serotonin from re-uptaking at warp speed.

BG is at work (the paying job) and looking mighty forward to a spring break from elementary school kids and their drama. Graduation is so close she can taste it and the promise of some beach time is teasing both of us every.single.day.

However, the scenery around here is pretty cool right now.

^j^

easter people

We gathered today, a packed congregation of believers who have been taught wisely by Mr. Y. I was an honorary member of the SS class that my parents have belonged to for some forty plus years. Needless to say, I was the token "young adult" on that row. I've been to some mighty sad funerals in my time, but this wasn't one of them and that's how I'd like mine to be. A celebration of life....MY life and the ones who have been touched by me in some way or another. The preachers talked about servanthood and new beginnings on the other side of the river. We sang hymns together just like we have over the years because it's what you do at church to keep the faith. I never knew until today how much I've missed that since I went AWOL.

After the service me and the grands hit the Dairy Queen and grocery store on the way home to meet their visitors from Memphis. A bunch of their childhood friends loaded up and came to visit this afternoon. Daddy's baby sister came out and it was a full blown good time happening when I left. That was AFTER we chased a calf back through the barbed wire with my trusty Camry.

Never a dull moment around here, ya know?

^j^

speaking of history

Living on this farm has been an adventure of sorts, learning about who owned what piece of land and how it all came together to be what it is today. It's not at all unusual for somebody who grew up out here in this little community to turn up on the doorstep wanting to sit a spell and talk about childhood or the river or to just enjoy the scenery. Back in the day it was a thriving business funded by profits from the sale of raincoats to the military during WWI. There were chickens and pigs and asparagus and such. The flagship barn and silos stand as a testament to the agrarian heritage of the family who owns it. It's high dollar ground, prime for development into a little gated community where nobody is scared of anything because they've got it all wired. My prayer is for that to never happen. Once upon a time the city fathers decided that rich people needed a bigger place to play golf and tried to take part of it. How did that go? I'm still here if that tells you anything.

My friend Kim told me about coming out here to creep around the haunted dairy barn when she was a teenager. Babygirl and both of my brothers have climbed that sucker damn near to the top. I'm not really big on heights what with the arthritis and such. The Eagle has this big old bucket truck that I got to ride in one time and it was just like being a bird from that perspective. And wouldn't you know it. The camera was in the house :)

Last week I went yard walking and spotted the first asparagus spear peekin' up out of the dirt. It has snowed twice since then but I feel sure that warmer days are coming.

Have I ever mentioned how much I *hate* to sweat? (stop me if you've heard this one)

^j^

"this too shall pass"

That's another wise quote from Mr. Y who did indeed get prayed into heaven. The Sellers' Class aka Young Adults has been on death watch again. Mama said they'd probably all sit together and the men are honorary pallbearers. All of these people, my parents included, have taught me the true meaning of servanthood as told in the good book. I have faith that those who have gone before me will be there when I happen to stumble onto my particular cloud.

We have our second March snow which is pretty dang unusual for West Tennessee. All of the Easter colors are draped in white so it's pretty cool to look at. Plus, BG got out of school early today :)

Gotta run. The dogs are barking so there's probably calves in the yard.

^j^

so, enough with winter already

Here it comes again.

room for the spirit to work

Most of us who were raised up in a church have icons who represent a good portion of what we believe as adults. These are the ones who taught Sunday school to brats and cooked a thousand pounds of spaghetti on Christmas parade night. They are the ones who stick out, not just because they wanted to grow a business but truly make a difference in the life of the church. Mr. Y is one of those folks to me and he is near death. Once, at the sawmill, I was walking by a patient's room and heard a beautiful chorus of hymns coming from behind the closed door. Later I talked to my friend who shared that it was her family " singing Daddy into heaven." About all I could say was "Amen."

Tornado season is upon us which is why I'm really thrilled to have a nice basement to hide out in when the twisters come. And they will.

My AC is running which ain't a good sign during these tough economic times but,hey. I don't like to sweat, remember? Plus the farmers started spraying yesterday afternoon *pewwwwwwwwwww*

Peace and love kids ^j^

walk a mile in my shoes

As I type BG and all three dogs are frolicking on the lane. Back in the day I was a big time walker and I should take that particular habit back up while I lose one or two if I want to live to get laid again find a sugardaddy. That's just today's random thought.

My day off from the sawmill was filled with errands and appointments. I'm being tested for carpal tunnel crap which sounds like...uh. Not much fun unless you're a masochist. I've got two weeks to back out if I get too chicken. Babygirl assures me I'll need that left hand for some time to make a living and rub furry heads.

Calves in the wheat field are still an everyday occurance. The sheds almost rubble and the tractors cranked up for the first time since November. Wasps are coming to life in the living room (where the heck have they BEEN anyways?)

Life has never seemed more fragile, yet full to the brim with contentment.

^j^

spring things

you don't have to call me darlin'

This friend of mine is one of those who feels compelled to call up when he's shitfaced drunk as a bicycle intoxicated and want to chat. I know....here's my sign,duh. I've done the same to him and to a handful of others because evidently I felt brave enough to share my true feelings then. Not a good way to deal with things, but I think most everybody has done it, even if they didn't tell it later. Or remember dialing. Sort of like drunken blogging without a paper trail.

I sat on the porch awhile ago and wandered around looking at daffodils, quince and forsythia feeling the winds of March blow my hair around and I realized how truly blessed I am to have lived my life here on this farm. Raising my daughter to know how her mama was brought up was one of few line-drawn-in-the-sand goals as a new mother. That included some baggage that I had never shed until I saw myself as an adult through my relationship with her.

I used to beat myself up about all the important times that I missed because I had a good support system and always went to work. Many parents don't have that and their children raise themselves. Whenever I begin to worry that maybe I didn't do enough to "be there" for her, I look at who she is now and the fears go away quickly. I'm normally the farthest thing from proud as a gal can get, but what she has accomplished is phenomenal in the eyes of she and our family and affords me the luxury of relaxing now and then. Her generation will hopefully fix what is so terribly wrong with this world like mindless war and consumer whoreism at the expense of mother earth. Hmm...is whoreism even a word?

I can honestly say that I've never her face light up like quite it did the first time that she saw her baby cousin. We are very family oriented which is hard for those who aren't to understand sometimes. That was one of the biggest problems in my marriage, truth be known. He couldn't relate because he never had it, but the years that we were together with BG became a time for him to know something different. Not my work...that would be a high five for Big Ernie and the angels.

Ya'll pray for me. It's spring forward time and the sawmill calleth quite early.

Love ya. Mean it.

^j^

TGIF?

Not really since I gotta work the weekend before I can be off. As Risible Girl would say...."meh". This blog doesn't feel like home yet, but I'm working on making it that way. With homebound parents added to the feverish mix of perpetual motion here in our household, there is rarely time to concentrate on any one thing...especially relaxation. Graduation is two months away for BG and then we're off to the beach for a week. Not to whine or sound pitiful but DAMN it's been too long since we've had a vacation. All work and no play makes Poopie a very dull girl. More like a zombie on auto-pilot.

The landscape is slowly changing as well. Yesterday's pics were taken when our good friend in the beat up red Dodge truck attached chains to the ancient beams that held the sheds upright and gave it some gas. Many years of history now lie peacefully in a pile of wood and rusted tin. Sad, yet exciting all at the same time.

Yesterday was Hoother Marie's twenty fifty birthday and she will be dining a'la Pecan Lane this evening with her best buds. It's sort of questionable if I'll be able to stay up until she gets here from Nashvegas. Gotta hit the clock at 6AM for the next two days.

More later when I'm not chasing my tail.

^j^

dirty jobs

decisions

almost gone.....

The snow, that is. That's okay...it was pretty while it lasted but I'm ready for spring. So are all the flora that got buried. Weatherman says 75 by the weekend. Come on ya'll!

Me and the BG and her BFF are planning a trip to the beach for the week after her graduation in early May. I suppose we are really faithful ones because between the two of us we've got some change shy of fifty bucks, but hey. A girl can dream, right? I certainly can't count on the lottery because I've never even bought a ticket. Money's too hard to come by. I'll just work on my tan and feet "as if".

We are back to regular hours at the sawmill which is a tremendous thing for our clients who depend on accurate and timely test results for their lives. Enough said. Don't wanna get dooced because I need the money for the beach and the light bill. In my mother's words to BG " Yo momma needs a vacation...bad."

As promised, readers here will learn all there is to know about the history of Ferguson Farm as it has been handed down to me in bits and pieces. Names will be changed to protect the innocent, of course. Currently our household consists of me and the BG plus three dogs and two cats. Faith is the oldest at five, a petite chocolate lab with a very sweet but jealous disposition. Her younger sister Butterbean is a rat terrier mix who mysteriously suffered a broken leg shortly after arriving from the shelter. I'm not blaming anybody BUT........A couple of years ago Sam came to live with us since his mom Amy seriously underestimated his athletic ability and her power to control said energy in a big city apartment. He can be obnoxious as hell but cute as the dickens all in one breath. Jack Russell mix, if that tells you anything.

The cats are Lily who is a rotten spoiled bitch and Circle K, the "special needs" kitty. Oooooops...gotta run. It's time to feed the varmints.

Later ^j^

Snow Day

It began Saturday afternoon, lightly at first, then a blizzard by Tennessee proportions. When it was all said and done, we had about five inches with ten to twelve for our neighboring counties to the south. For some odd reason known only to the weather gods, our heaviest snows tend to come at the end of winter and beginning of spring just when you think it's safe to plant something like I did. Daddy says the broccoli and spinach will do just fine, thankyouverymuch. I'm counting the days until I see the first asparagus spear. Cutting fresh asparagus is as close to heaven as one can get in the garden. My ex-husband, bless his heart, put that bed in some eight years ago and it still bears proudly every April.

Since one of the horses died, the pasture on the garden side of my old house will be stripped of fencing and planted in crops this year. There's plenty of pasture on the other side for ornery Mr.Pride who still grazes and escapes any chance he gets, just for the sport of being bribed back into the lot with sweet feed. He is an adoptee, taken in after his owner could no longer afford the pasture rental. His road dog Trapper died last year and he went into a deep mourning period that lasted for months. It amazes me how animals can bond like that....sort of like humans.

There are still large spots of snow clinging to the dead grass, especially in sheltered areas. It's odd yet beautiful to see the white and black on green as the current crop of calves grazes on winter wheat. Everybody knows you can't fence 'em in when they're determined that the grass is greener on the other side. Just like a kid, ya know?