step one

For those who are in recovery realizing that life is spinning out of control is a big hit, and it happens over and over every time control digs in.  The very act of "letting go" becomes something that we chase after knowing what a relief comes with that acceptance.  I've been there many times in my life most recently when my parents died and the job sucked ass.  At that point life became too painful to continue with the pretense of having any effect on any outcome.  Hands off girlfriend.  

I need new shoes and the ones I bought are cheap and foreign made to last about 3 months on daily concrete.  That has caused a huge flare in inflammation and joint pain which makes walking on said concrete a real drag.  Therefore, on payday I shall get some new kicks so I can continue to work.   Brooks perhaps?  I'll check out bottles while I'm online.  

Nancy's visitation is Thursday.  There have been so many times I've been tempted to just not make the effort but this is family and we do what we do when we can do it.  There was one Christmas party at Millette's that I missed when Debbie and Nancy and their hubs actually came and had fun chilling.  Not sure where I was but I got a report later.  The very last opportunity for a family Christmas gathering was totally my brick.  The hostess with the mostest put it on and I just didn't have it in me to haul the elders out that night.  It was an ordeal in the daylight.  

If I know my daughter she's been nesting and getting the nursery ready.  Hopefully roomie got her spot clear so Reaves will be welcomed home to her own little space.  There's still a bunch of stuff to haul but I have faith it will happen.  I know lots of folks with trucks...big ones.  

And the greatest of these, is love ~