flash flood watch

My house sits high on top of a hill which is great during floods except there's only one way out and it normally gets covered with heavy rains.  It all drains downhill and ends up standing at the end of the lane.  If we get the amount of rain predicted I'll probably have to drive through standing water to get to work and may not be able to get home.  But hey...I'm not a gonna whine.  I'm not perched on some rooftop waiting for rescue or sitting in a flooded shelter.  The Camry rides low to the ground if you know what I mean.  My lug nuts are rusty from all the going to and fro through said flood water.  Thanks Harvey.  You have gotten our attention.

Which brings me around to Joel O'Steen.  Nobody from the city of Houston "asked him" to use the 16K seat church as a haven so it didn't dawn on him to offer it up like Jesus would do.  Now today, he throws out the theory that social media whipped everybody up into a frenzy about that oversight by the flock.   Nobody to staff it, he said.  No supplies, he said.  There's probably enough coffee and doughnuts in that place to feed the entire state of Texas.  I am disappointed, but not at all surprised.  It's how the Elmer Gantry types roll. As for Cruz, he's an outright liar and as much as I despise Christie, I'm proud that he called him out.  

If you have a truck and get a call from Samaria Bend Road tomorrow, that means I need a ride through the water.  Holla.

^j^

make mine a double

I started the day at the chicken store for a biscuit and ran into Bone who was chattering up a storm about Sam being sick.  He asked if I ever hear from Claudia which I do on occasion.  Everybody's just so damn busy!  He used to play golf with Lynn and they went to UT games.  Love all of 'em.  He was also a regular at the kudzu bar back when I hung there.  

I keep imagining what it would be like to be in South Texas right now.  It will be a month before the waters recede and I know this because I'm a river dweller.  The roadways are being damaged as they sit in the flood and won't be safe.  There is a very low body count so far but that's because the water's too high to find what happened first.  I noticed a piece on Huffpost today about the TX legislators who voted overwhelmingly against a funding package following Sandy.  I could be snarky but my opinion is to give Texans what they need and remember how those Republicans treated the people of New York and New Jersey.  Ted Cruz my ass.  Jesus doesn't like that kind of stuff and if you think about it all these natural disasters may be Big Ernie's way of letting us know that he ain't a bit happy.  "Play nice" he says.  "Meet your friend in the middle." "Do the next right thing."

My friend Cathy brought me a walker and a quilt that Mamye made for her grandson 13 years ago.  I think that's a pretty cool thing for it to be passed onto Reaves.  We are at T minus one month give or take a week with daily doctor visits.  Lauren is focused on her well being and prepared to be a good mother.  I'm so sure I'll cry like that baby when I experience the three of us together.  Family.

I donated my birthday to the humane society on FB so y'all run on over and donate because furbabies don't deserve to be euthanized if at all possible.  The volunteers who keep that shelter alive along with a very competent staff do a great honor to the names Betty Parker and Tommy Lipford.  Hey....they got Larry a home!!

I hug more these days.  I bet I've had five today.  They are people that I genuinely love and treasure as friends and co-workers.  

Love the one you're with.

pain + gain

When I first started therapy on my shoulder Fred told me specifically that the goal was to do the exercise just to the point where the pain began.  If it hurts, don't do it.  He gave me a test today which I failed miserably because I couldn't remember what all of them are.  I do what I remember but the old mind doesn't retain everything anymore.  There was a new one today involving a swooping upward movement that is a good stretch but a bitch on the way down.  That one I will remember.  I chilled with the therapy department listening to the chatter between the OT and another lady share stories about a social worker named Boss.  

My phone was blowing up and one of the messages was from my friend Chucky.  I knew he was in LA with Monica's family and checked to see if they were leaving.  They're headed to FL while Daddy stays behind to help friends and family for a day or two.  Then he will join them.  Harvey does.not.play.

Everybody's all being armchair quarterback on how that many people got stuck in the water.  The number one reason is that it would have been mayhem evacuating 4 million people in a day.  After all that eclipse traffic we sure don't needs millions hitting the highway in Texas.  IN the rain.

Water and food are priorities during a search and rescue mission.  So are volunteers.  What I see happening is a coming together of kindred souls trying to help each other out with no regard to race, creed, sexual orientation or political party.  And no Trump....you can't take credit for that.  It's what we survivors do in spite of your hideous so called leadership.

The sawmill was decent for a Monday and now I'm not listening to the white noise of constantly running centrifuges.  I met the family of a co-worker which was delightful.  They never knew what she really does until today!!

Y'all be kind and gentle.  In the end, that's what matters.

hear them roar

The cicadas are so loud I can hear them inside the house.  Such is the death call of summer.  I saw my first wooly worm this morning and it was brown on both sides with a black streak down the middle.  I'm not up on forecasting by worm so I'm not sure what that means.  Yesterday I found a FROG in the toilet.  All kinds of strange signs.  

Another death....a brother and husband to my friends.  His wife and I met up a couple of weeks ago at the dog show downtown.  Then the next day I saw both of them at Kroger.  In the blink of an eye, y'all.  

I'm not into fights so I don't care who won.  I do, however care that Texas is about to float off into the gulf while Trump tweets that all is well.  Tell that to the folks in Houston in person dude. Global warming is real.  

It's kind of funny that I got more comments on the Wallyworld road rage post than any I've ever put out there.  Some topics are just universal!  I won't be back there for another five years but I got my quilt by golly.  If it weren't for Kroger, I'd never go down 78 at all.  Meanwhile there is still no grocery store in South Dyersburg. I seriouosly don't get it.  Somebody could make a million out here with an alternative to the gentral.   

I got a thank you letter in the mail from the judge for serving o jury duty but still haven't got my 20 bucks yet.  As far as I know the Camry thief is still incarcerated.  It's still a joke that my old rat trap of a car was chosen to be stolen from a sea of luxury vehicles owned by doctors.  If I were going to jail for car theft I'd dream big.

Over and out from the lane ^j^ 

road rage

I absolutely despise WalMart and haven't been there in years.  However, the gentral' doesn't have quilts and I needed one so here I go to wallyhell.  It's bad enough under normal circumstances but damn near impossible with Mall Blvd under construction.  The only entrance from there is behind the auto center which I didn't realize until I passed it and found the others blocked.  Plan B:  Proceed to Lake Rd and take a left to the front entrance.  All went well until I was trying to pull out and turn left to go to McDonald's .  I waited and waited and there was some asshat in a pickup pulling an RV waiting to turn left into WalMart.  There was also a car behind me waiting to turn left.  Already frustrated, I hear dude in the truck yelling "what the f**k are you people doing.....turn right!  Which I did and as I passed him said "have a nice day buddy" as loud as I could.  Back down Mall Blvd and no McDonalds.  This is why I don't go there unless I have to.  People of Dyersburg certainly understand what a cluster it is out that way right now.  Do I hear an amen?

Prior to getting cussed out, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up something at the window and spotted customer appreciation day going on.  I missed out on the shirts but did manage to get a big hug from Ms Barbara who was holding court at the hot dog grilling.  She was the 5th grade teacher who actually cried when I told her me and Lauren's dad were getting a divorce.  She's a very special lady to me and my co-workers.

Back in my little haven I have no plans to leave again.  Just me and the critters which include tomato worms munching on the plants.  At this point, I don't even care.  I've yet to have one ripen because I pick them green and fry 'em up.  

Ya'll have a blessed weekend.  Remember to turn around and don't drown.  

^j^

modern day problems

As I've mentioned before, I'm not tech savvy....especially with a phone.  Some time ago I created another page by mistake and it's gotten all wonky with me trying to log into the real one.  I fought with it yesterday until I got the laptop back where it needed to be but the phone is a whole 'nother story.  Looks like I'll have to visit the ATT store tomorrow.  

Somehow I just managed to hit a key while typing that turned on cursive.  And then POOF it went away.  I definitely need to hone my skills before I launch that website full force.  Today was PT day again with Fred and we watched Harvey barreling toward Texas while I did isometrics and he did strength training.  By the time I laid down for mobility I could barely lift my arm!  He told me all kinds of hurricane and Florida stories while we did our respective things.  Kind of like being in a gym only I was the gimp pushing the wall.  My favorite part is the ultrasound and soft tissue work.  

We got to visit with baby TJ today and passed him around like the treasure that he is.  He is a beautiful child just like his mother and his mimi.  Reaves will be up next followed quickly by Lisa's and Kendra's then Natalie and Janie.  Lerd!  Lab puppies everywhere.  

The weekend is mine and the weather looks good here.  I visited Texas once and actually went to South Padre when Lauren was about two.  We drove 18 hours nonstop with Aunt Nez and Lauren in the back seat.  Oh, and by the was Aunt Nez had no legs and was on diuretics.  All I can say is that we were younger then.  I pray that the folks in the warning area were not stupid enough to make things worse.  Either be prepared or haul ass.  You've had the time to do both.  I totally respect the decision to make evacuation non-mandatory thus keeping rescue workers from as much danger.  At that point all you can do is hunker down.  

My prayers are with these people and with the rest of our country where we struggle with no real leadership to survive a somewhat crazy world.  Riders in the storm.

Be safe and give somebody a hug just because ^j^ 

wow

I don't know about ya'll but that eclipse kicked my ass....well that and the heat.  I am totally loving this breeze and cool mornings.  I didn't even mind stopping at the drug store after work for naproxen and size 1 diapers.  I think she's got plenty of newborn.  I also bought a thank you card for someone who pulled me out of the ditch the other day when I was hysterical.  You know who you are.

Last I heard Ryan and McConnell are on the shit list that gets longer by the day.  Some lady up north won the biggest powerbll evah' and she's young enough to enjoy it.  Won't be reporting for work again much like that bitch on the plane with all the designer hashtags.  Puleeeez.

My birthday is coming up and I'll be 62 which is the time to retire if you can live on 1500 a month.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.  I did manage to recover my FB account today which is a miracle in and of itself.  Can you imagine if my mother had been able to *like* there???

Keep it between the ditches.  All is well ~

phishing forecast

I'm getting a lot of random phone calls from all over the country that are "not ones I know."  Of course I don't answer them but it pisses me off  because i have to  make the effort to autoreject.  The whole thing reminds of scammers like Prince Fred.  Anybody remember him?

At the time I was totally smitten with a guy, single and cruising Yahoo chat rooms for fun.  The prince would talk sweet to me with falling hearts background and asked for my address so he could send me something.  A few days later some flowers arrived with a teddy bear.  He asked if I received them and I said yes.  Bingo!  Destination fraud.

Within a few days I was receiving packages daily containing all kinds of high dolla' stuff like cell phones and cameras and size 13 flip flops from Nordstrom.  I made a phone call and found that it was all put on a credit card, but not mine.  Sooo....then I called the cops.  The prince had sent me a UPS label by email to an address in Nigeria to which I was supposed to ship the stuff.  
The law came and he pretty much told me the stuff was mine if I wanted it.  Instead I packed it all up and returned it on MY DIME because it was the right thing to do.  This really pissed him off.  Dude started threatening me and even called my work on that operator assisted deal where they type and you listen.  She advised me that it was a scam.  Later I heard it happened in Covington too.  Bless all our little hearts.  UPS loved me that day.  

I'm stretching constantly, not to the point of pain but loosening up my body.  There is nothing like self treatment when you know where it hurts.  That thunderstorm yesterday cooled things off quite a bit so it's not like an oven anymore.  Lerd, it was miserable.  

But that was yesterday ~

give peace a chance

Rumor had it that when the the eclipse was full blown the temperature would drop 20 to 30 degrees and there would be total blackness.  This was the prediction for areas directly in the path like Hopkinsville KY where Kim and Carter took a day trip.  She was still bubbling today about the diamond ring and he showed us pictures.  Cool stuff.  As for my experience it was kind of disappointing.  The thunderstorm that just rolled through made it much darker.   But hey...the sun's out now.  Y'all know what that means!

Jeannette the employee of the year did my PT today and the soft tissue massage and ultrasound were heavenly.  We talked about the grands and work things.  Mostly she was attentive to where the pain was located.  She found a big know on my arm on the deltoid which is probably what's causing most of the current pain.  Live and learn and stretch. I think fat bastard must have killed the internet because FB isn't updating.  But I mean really....it's fo' free.

Manifest ~

rare light

My day began early with a six AM alarm which is an hour extra, thank you God.  Lorna and I loaded up the crib and headed for Jackson. She played wonder woman while me and the one good arm did our part.  I left screwdrivers just in case help comes around.  

We had plans to view the eclipse at Grubb's Grocery and actually showed up early only to be told that free glasses were only available after 12 to the first 30 customers in their deli.  I bought 20 bucks worth of oil and we headed back home with two items that Mike had hauled over there Saturday. It was 94 degrees at 11:45 with a heat index of 110.   I drank lots of water and we had a honest conversation.  Sam stopped by to help with laundry duty.  

As it turned out I experienced the great event right here on the farm with Mamye.  There was no total blackout, only a subtle change in light that was like late afternoon only right after lunch.  I feel really bad for those folks who traveled far and wide.

This week's agenda includes two PT treatments and a tooth extraction.  That should be loads of fun!  I should prolly load up on naproxen and take omneprazole or drink baking soda in water.  So far chair yoga is working.  

Heads up folks.  There have been many earthquakes in Missouri recently.  This is the New Madrid Fault and the Mighty Mississippi.  Any questions?  Google Reelfoot Lake.  Best crappie and eagles around.

^j^

repetitive motion

The shoulder is painful and that's all I will say about that.  I stopped by the shady dollar gentral' on the way home from work and forgot to get naproxen which totally works.  The cashier hollered HELLO like real loud which they're taught to do but she made me laugh. Unfortunately I'm fresh out of opiates so I'll just keep resting it while I'm not at work and make my PT appointments.  We are all about strengthening and getting that impingement loose. The bitch is about to freeze up on me.  

We were talking about tomorrow's big event  at the sawmill and my friend Miss Anita told me that she was invited by her granddaughter Kam to come to school and watch the "apocalypse" with her.  It's a date I believe.  Nasvhille traffic is a clusterf**k right now according to those who have traveled I40 this weekend.  

I'm over the statue thing so let's just all get along.  Boston was impressive with their quick dispersion of the crowd.  At its' core, ethnic cleansing is the work of evil people and their followers like Adolph Hitler.  I admire those who feel empowered to march and protest peacefully.  Somebody has to make a difference which is why the next elections are heavy on my mind.  

The heat index reached 110 today which is about 9 on a scale of 10 in West Tennessee misery.  If you feel inclined check out MidSouth Life.  It's another place to see pictures and get the blog feed besides FB and it's a work in progress.  On the flip side it's almost dove season so y'all get yer guns ready for roasted bird.  

Over and out from the lane ~

one of these days

When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut?  Probably on the day I take my final breath and the Lord stills my voice.  With the best of intentions and a fierce sense of loyalty to the least of these I often speak my mind when others just don't want to hear it.  I can be like that fly that keeps buzzing around bothering the horse in the dead of summer.  No more, kids.  I shall keep my thoughts to myself and do what I'm told like a good girl in certain venues.  

Reaves' daddy just stopped by in a pickup to haul most of the baby stuff to Jackson.  There was no room for the crib so that will have to go with me and Lorna on eclipse day.  I've bought a domain and added the blog feed to it but I'm on the learning curve so it will take awhile.  My friend Chris at The Mill Workspace has promised to help.  That's his thing....incubating small businesses.  My number is already getting spammed by "offers" of website design at "reduced" costs.  I'll pass and go local.

The physical therapy really helped and I'm looking forward to becoming pain free soon.  I've gotten accustomed to not using that arm for lifting.  Pain will do that for you.  Consider me chastised and humble.

^j^

the final eclipse

I've only witnessed one full solar eclipse that I remember and they're not that common so I'm thinking Monday will be my swan song on that.  Lord willing and the creek don't rise I will be with my soul sister Lorna, Lauen and Reaves at Grubb's Grocery.  Nothing like an eclipse party for lunch!  We plan to load up Lorna's vehicle with all it will carry of the baby hardware and go over to Jackson and help a pregnant girl out.  She's nesting like a mofo and ready to get the nursery ready for Reaves.  

I'm trying my best to heal the shoulder without surgery so I started physical therapy today with the fabulous Fred Woods at the sawmill.  He told me all about his experience which includes but is not limited to knowing John Barnes and a long tenure with the VA system.  He explained the difference between a "bad war and a good war" in VA terms.  He also schooled me on how the passage of the ACA resulted in drastic Medicare reimbursement cuts because the roll out was funded with their money.  We all know how the government wants what's best for all.  Treatments that were previously covered for elders are out of reach now and we're talking MOBILITY.  The ability to move and contribute to society and enjoy life.  Thank you for the knowledge Fred.  And thank you for helping out my poor shoulder.  I promise to be compliant.

My head is clearing out slowly but surely from the meltdown on Wednesday.  I feel more focused and goal oriented with the #1 goal being a peaceful life.  Just say no to drama.  Walk away from confrontation unless human rights are involved.  Be an advocate for someone.  I remember a quartet of junior high girls that included Lauren doing a mime for a school DARE program to Bill Withers' song "Lean on Me."  Basically, that's what being an advocate consists of.  In every situation that life presents, there is always the choice to do the next right thing.  

^j^

fragile

I whispered the serenity prayer on my way into work this morning.  Wisdom and courage.  Serenity is not what happened but I can feel it closer now that I've had a major crying jag.  I'm cycling through the grief in fits and starts and wondering if it will ever end, knowing that it won't.  It'll just be different.  The cosmos led Lorna to the parking lot when I was getting ready to leave and she gave me hugs and stern warnings about mental health.  "What are you afraid of?" she asked.  And honestly, I don't know.  I'm not paralyzed to the point of not functioning....just lacking the ambition fo choose a different life.  As a life long well taught co-dependent, maybe I'm just afraid of serenity itself.  Of not feeling the chaos.  My boundaries are pretty loose in a lot of areas but at least I'm aware of that and focus on keeping them.  I could probably use a week with Melody Beattie!  Chronic physical pain is a factor.  Sometimes I feel like I have PTSD and I suppose we all do in some form or fashion.  

I slept with the therapy ball under my shoulder last night and the pain has moved into the upper arm area, hopefully on the way out.  I'm gonna' need that shoulder to hold the baby, you know.  Seriously, I can't just put a name to the whole thing and I suppose that's my inner control freak wanting to know "why." Sometimes it just is what it is.  

I seriously need to find my warrior woman spirit and tackle the business plan that is the rest of my life.  For that, I will need professional help because Celexa ain't working anymore.  I need a vacation.  I feel respected and loved by many people and realize that I have some mad skills that are not being used.  This is the time to explore how to use those to bring myself joy.  

The grief triggers this time were subtle but powerful....surprise lilies and autumn clematis.  My mother's favorite lamp blinking at me while I typed yesterday.  She was telling me to be happy. And basically, I am.  There is not much negativity in my personality and normally I look on the bright side and keep rolling.  Today isn't one of those days.  

There are certain things I know for a fact about my psychological makeup.  Definitely an introvert who tends to stay in the "pondering" phase too long.  Not a follower, at all.  I use my intelligence to think things through and look for solutions rather than focus on problems.  Though my loneliness is often self imposed, I find peace in it with just me myself and I.  Well, and the critters.

I hate hot weather, adore flowers and water....especially the ocean.  Music is as much of a balm as burning white sage which I need to order.  I go through it pretty quick.  The people who read this blog know how I'm feeling on any given day and reach out with likes and comments at just the right time even when I don't realize that I'm in crash and burn mode.  Right now I just feel drained from the massive release of emotional energy one.more.time.  

Leaving room for the spirit to work ~ 

once a methodist

Today was a bit slower at the sawmill so I was able to step out for lunch with a few friends.  We gathered at The Bus Stop as the rain fell, each of us grubbing on Asian salad covered with coffee roasted brisket.  To die for, I'm telling you.  I always drop my keys in my pocket so didn't realize until I got back to work that I had left my purse.  Patsye's phone went to voicemail so I called the restaurant and they let me talk to her about delivery. It's definitely the kind of place where they would have called me anyway.  Thanks for the drop off Lil' Patsye!

As I was coming back in I passed a familiar figure sitting in the waiting room.  I paused and called his name not really expecting him to remember me because I was not a regular attendee during his tenure as FUMC senior.  That was his second round there and my parents thought he walked on water.  He was gone by the time they died.  What I saw was a kinder gentler face with a lot more understanding about what community is following time climbing down the ladder.  Each "parish" in a West Tennessee county is being included in a group that will help their congregations figure out how to get what their folks need.  I find that concept fascinating in a connectional sort of way.  The UMC was founded on the itinerant lifestyle for pastors so never make the mistake of getting too attached.  I do anyway.  Wesleyan tradition warms your heart that way.  

By the time I left work the sun was out.   

it is my circus

Boy did i walk into a s**tstorm this morning.  It seems that a couple of interfaces were jammed up with very important bytes of info while I was trying to result a large run of patients.  We compare printout hard copies with results the computer screen before they are released but that wasn't happening in the proper sequence which resulted in mucho confusion.  Then the damn instrument just froze up.  Twice!  Meanwhile all manner of folks were calling wanting to know what was up with their labs because we all know how important that is to a practitioner.  Ahem.  It continued to be a shitshow sort of day and I'm totally blaming it on the coming eclipse.  Or Trump.

IMHO this radicalization of our country has flourished since his campaign began because he fuels hatred and disrespect on both sides.  It makes sensational reading for media hounds who want to be a part of something and not think for themselves.  Sheeple, so to speak.  There is very little difference between what happened in Ferguson Missouri and Charlottesville Virginia and it's not all about the alt right or black lives matter.  It's a seething frustration of a people who are not represented by their government.

As of August 7th, I have worked at the same job for 40 years.  Early retirement is available at 62 so I made an appointment today to be told face to face that I can't afford to live on that.  What's really sad is that my ex-husband worked until he died and never saw a dime of what he contributed to SS.  I could draw off of him or myself but the end result is the same......a 25K per year cut in income.  Did I mention how tired I am?

I know....wah wah wah.  Full retirement age for me is 66.  I'm assuming I can get Medicare at 65.  Unless Sugardaddy shows up that's exactly what I'll do.  My yearning is to be employed doing something that uses my talents.   All ears are to the ground on that one.  

I can't get either Mamye or P on the phone so I reckon there's some kind of phone outage with their networks.  Or maybe they're just out of minutes.  Anywho, there's nothing to talk about but the weather.  Right now most of West Tennessee south of the 'burg is getting hammered.  Y'all be safe down there.

fueled by hatred

Yesterday in Charlottesville was an atrocity started by the vice mayor of the city in response to the removal of a Confederate war monument.  Lest y'all think I'm a total demolibtard, I do not agree with removing these statues.  There are a part of our history and removing them does nothing but create chaos.  It does not undo the evils of slavery.  We all need them as a reminder of how this country turned on itself because it looks like it is happening over and over again.  Yes, all lives matter, even the lives of these hate mongers.  Counter demonstration, unless it is peaceful, is worthless.  Let the idiots do their thing and move along.  Several people were killed as a result of this tragedy, one by a 20 year old who mowed down a peaceful crowd after they were dispersed.  There's a special fresh hell for that dude.  

As my daddy would say "It has always been thus and so."  I was a teenager when Kent State happened at the height of the Vietnam war.  Talk about your innocents being mowed down.  Older folks didn't understand the frustration and anger of a generation who was vehemently against a useless war.  That the vets were treated badly is just another piece of the story that nobody wins with war.  Watch Born on the 4th of July again for a reminder.  Or The Deer Hunter.  

I ran into several folks at the "under construction" Kroger today, one of which was my brother doing his weekly chore.  I go about once a month after a payday and it lasts a couple of weeks.  From there I eat on the run until the spirit moves me to do the deed.  I also hugged and chatted with two old friends who have recently had corporate downsizing affect their lives.  It's happening in every business.  I heard Redneck Friend behind me and knew exactly who she was.  Huge spontaneous hug and long grocery store catchup.  Life is good.

This is the extent of my socialization.  I work and see people there both practitioners and patients.  Most of them are happy to see a familiar face.  I come home to my quiet spot and recharge for another day.  There is an occasional trip to Jackson to visit with "the girls" I am definitely in self improvement mode right now and intend to stay that way.  I will not give up.

Something got all but one of my squash plants so I'm down to that and a couple of maters which aren't doing well.  Maybe next year if we don't get nuked.  All I pray for is that if it's to happen Lord, make it quick.  I'm not up for any Hunger Games.

Peace and love ~

 

spontaneous saturday

I got up before the alarm went off at 830ish, ready for my date at Headlines with Marla the wonderful.  It's always fun to go there because Chucky and Vick are my high school classmates and have ALWAYS done my hair ever since back in the Chuckles days.  We gossip and catch up knowing what's going on because uh...Facebook.  It's the first time in forever I've paid attention to how I look because I ain't getting any younger.  While I was there I got to visit with my mother's errand runner Miss Tippi.  She is forever young and on fire with red hair.  Headed to San Francisco to visit her hippie son.  

While under the dryer I was scrolling through FB and noticed a group of old friends gathered at the courthouse for a benefit dog show.  I pulled in across the street and was greeted with shouts of delight as I crossed the (dead on weekend) street.  We had fun for a few minutes and then went our separate ways.  

Presently Anna, Conner and company are working on a horror movie production because my house has such old features.  These folks are a hoot.  And of course Anna is the director!!

It's cooler but horrendously humid so I'll be in the rest of the day most likely.  It's my turn to piddle.

Seize the day~

tired as if i'd been ironing

That was always the reply of our old school pharmacist Captain Lee when asked how he was doing.  It's a pretty apt description of how I feel these days and he was probably at the age I am now when he last told me that.  How time flies!  All the others who have gone before me are living the dream without the worry of working for a check.  At least I'll get one someday.  Maybe, unless we all get vaporized.  Once again the master is at it proclaiming an opiate emergency when, in fact, a large part of our economy runs on that very thing.  My personal opinion is that he jumped ( too late....way too late ) on that bandwagon to draw attention away from his little hissy fits with NOK.  I've seen the 25th amendment in the news lately considering the bizarre behavior of our POTUS which sounds good but would leave us with Pence.  Pick your poison.  We have floundered around for almost a year now with an unstable cast of who's in charge or what and nothing but fire and brimstone from the orange one.  I am soooooo over it.  I'm thankful not to be in Guam at this point.  

Charlie Brooke spends most of her time online watching Bruno Mars or shopping so she depends on me for the short version of world news.  "It's dicey" I told her as I described the purported nuclear warhead capabilities involved.  It's a pissing match between two crazy men who think nothing of collateral damage.  Trump is the main reason Kim hates our country more than the 30 others that sanctioned him.  He just won't.shut.up. and be presidential.  It's all about the win with him and this is not a game show or a golf tournament.  It's our future.  Speaking of the military, I wonder how many trans soldiers have been given their walking papers to date.  I'd say with potential war looming this is not a good time to be picky about the sexual preferances of those in uniform.  But that's just me being my demolibtard self.  

Forward motion ~

silence is golden

I've had a full day.  Work was a good team building exercise which was followed by a dental cleaning and exam at the young Dr. Young's place.  Miss Reba is STILL there.  Talk about your dental legacy.  Gail fussed at me about not being regular with cleanings and I'm a new advocate for myself so there you go.  

I've missed my chats with Annie and Baby Sister what with all that's going on in our lives from Austin to West Tennessee.  I hear my mother's voice in their collective chatter....a bond that only the three of us know.  When Mama died, they ( of course ) couldn't be there but both sent flowers and hugged me by phone.  Annie is gonna' call me back...another great grandson expected!

My last stop was at Curry's where I dropped off my official deed for the Carter family graveyard located down at Gerald's. I stayed long enough to hug my cousin Sandy and meet Nancy's husband.  She has two sons and is part of the Reaves family history forever and ever amen.  Kay and I have such a bond it's ridiculous because we literally grew up together in church and school.  She learned to drive in her parents' Cadillac on their Lake Road front yard next to Homer and Jane's.  Spending the night with her was like fairyland to a country girl like me.  I see an Abe's date coming on.  

My last stop was to see Tab and Tracy both of whom were swamped.  Mamye is training there and I heard she did fantastic yesterday.  All is well with the world except for no little bottles of peach pecan.  Bummer.  

If I were you I'd be looking for a place to stockpile water even if it's on the steps.  Stay calm if you're outside of 3 miles of the blast.  The radioactivity decays quickly over a 24 hour period.  Just don't get the dust on you.  100k people in the direct blast path won't ever know what hit 'em and are either strumming harps or burning with the devil.  Okay...maybe purgatory is somewhere in between but whatever.  

I refuse to bow down to fear.  It cripples you and robs the joy out of life.  Before I started on the happy pill in my 40s I thought it was normal to cry every day.  Yeah.  Depression sucks and when you are a teenager it sucks even more.  I have watched our country grow into one of diversity during the tenure of a gentleman of a president faced with a Congress full of assholes.  When Boehner walked, I knew it was over.  

Annie had a cool pipe dream about how healthcare problems could be solved by standardization of pricing by item throughout the delivery system.  Forget all of that purchasing contract stuff because it saves the company money.  Or the overcharging.  My friend Carl posted a map listing the richest people in each state and in TN it's Frist.  Imagine that.  

I have seen healthcare evolve in the span of 40 years from county owned to Wall Street.  A lot of it has been fun and a learning experience.  There are certain people that I owe that to and they are the cloud of witnesses to what my life's work would be.   And you know what?   I'm not done yet.

^j^

sluggish

My mama always said if you can't say something nice, say nothing.  I've never particularly lived by that motto because well, I'm a rebel and all.  I try really hard not to whine, but DAMMIT I'm tired.  So there.  My daily pity party!  Even my mind is tired so this post will be short and sweet unless the muse appears.  

So far we haven't been hit by a nuke so I'm figuring the pissing match with fat bastard will go on for a spell.  I watched Trump's statement yesterday and noticed that he had his arms all hugged up around his body like was scared shitless while he blathered on with threats.  Like Colbert suggested....just shut up. Same for tweets.  This country is too worn out to live in fear all the time.  The economy is picking up ( thanks Obama ) a bit and Wall Street is fairly healthy because ummm....big money rules in the great USA.  The 1% lives a life of luxury on the backs of the rest of us dodging taxes on their extravagant earnings.  Same song, different verse.  

Right now my priorities are new shoes and a couple of days off.  See how low maintenance I am?  

Namaste ~

step one

For those who are in recovery realizing that life is spinning out of control is a big hit, and it happens over and over every time control digs in.  The very act of "letting go" becomes something that we chase after knowing what a relief comes with that acceptance.  I've been there many times in my life most recently when my parents died and the job sucked ass.  At that point life became too painful to continue with the pretense of having any effect on any outcome.  Hands off girlfriend.  

I need new shoes and the ones I bought are cheap and foreign made to last about 3 months on daily concrete.  That has caused a huge flare in inflammation and joint pain which makes walking on said concrete a real drag.  Therefore, on payday I shall get some new kicks so I can continue to work.   Brooks perhaps?  I'll check out bottles while I'm online.  

Nancy's visitation is Thursday.  There have been so many times I've been tempted to just not make the effort but this is family and we do what we do when we can do it.  There was one Christmas party at Millette's that I missed when Debbie and Nancy and their hubs actually came and had fun chilling.  Not sure where I was but I got a report later.  The very last opportunity for a family Christmas gathering was totally my brick.  The hostess with the mostest put it on and I just didn't have it in me to haul the elders out that night.  It was an ordeal in the daylight.  

If I know my daughter she's been nesting and getting the nursery ready.  Hopefully roomie got her spot clear so Reaves will be welcomed home to her own little space.  There's still a bunch of stuff to haul but I have faith it will happen.  I know lots of folks with trucks...big ones.  

And the greatest of these, is love ~

mia familia

I have not seen Nancy Joan in years but she was a blog and FB reader often so we were in touch that way.  She passed away suddenly yesterday and I found out this morning after missing phone calls from her sister Sandy and our cousin Millette.  My brother in VIRGINIA knew it before I did.  

Sandy and Nancy are the daughters of my uncle Bill and his wife Peggy.  He died at the age of 36 so they were pretty much raised up by Doc, the one they called Daddy.  I was several years older so I have fond memories of baby sitting the girls at the homeplace on College while Bill and Peggy had nights on the town.  I will never forget the sadness of watching those two little girls at his funeral.  I was with him when he died in the ICU and called the family to break the news.  

Both girls were towheads, and we called Nancy Joan "Ninky" for short.  They were good kids and Sandy and I remain close to this day as co-workers, friends and first cousins.  Not too long ago Nancy messaged me wanting to know about her daddy or what memories I had of him.  We never had that talk, and I regret it.

RIP dear Ninky ^j^

oh baby!

This has been a whirlwind weekend for Lauren and Heather and Mama Brock, and AJ of course.  Heather picked her up on Friday in Jackson and they had lunch at the Bus Stop beause I had told her how good the brisket is.  She agreed.  My bed wasn't very comfy for her so she sacked out in the recliner and Lily snoozed with she and Reaves.  

The shower was awesome and filled with all kinds of love and surprises.  Reaves will be very well dressed, for sure.  It was at Nanny's mansion out in the country where Heather and Joe got married.  She was glowing as she opened package after package containing tiny little baby things.  There was a changing table too which will accompany all the stuff that currently sits in the living room thanks to Millette.  Heated wipe warmer and all.

She headed back to her own bed last night and I was blessed with a visit from old friends.  As we sat on the front porch at dusk I marveled at how big Conner is now and how far back we go.  The shower was like a mini-reunion for the girls that ran together back in the day.  One of those girls actually makes cakes for her job so she did the honors.  There were two baby boy cousins being passed around during the festivities and I got to meet Uncle Jeff out on the porch at smoke time.  Anna was photographer and social media co-ordinator.  Heather and Jennifer cooked and decorated making it all a very special event for Lauren and Reaves.  She should make her appearance aroud October 1st.  

Today is mine to piddle and play on the hill.  I treasure that time to do nothing but wander from thing to thing though I often end up retracing my steps to whatever mission it was that I was on.  Lerd, the mind is going.  Also the vision.  I pray that I don't develop macular degeneration like my Mama had.  She was almost completely blind when she passed.  

As we grow older I think we come to appreciate things we've always taken for granted like good health, family and true friends.  I haven't checked the news yet to see how the orange one's golf trip is going.  I wonder how much security costs for that "working vacation."  The whole thing is coming apart at the seams and while I'm glad in one respect I am terrified in another.  I prefer to think that Big Ernie has given the parties incentive to think about their constituents rather than loyalty to a certain tribe.  

I missed JT and Bonnie last night at FedEx but had a live stream via Chucky's phone so I was there in spirit.  Hopefully there will be another chance.  The dogs are still scratching in spite of flea treatment so I guess they've got doggie dermatitis.  

Y'all keep it out of the ditches and carry on with faith ^j^

all good people

TGIF to all ya'll and your mama and them.  I can tell you a lot of stories about miracles and I will someday.  Just not right now.  A friend sent me a blessing today out of the blue which came at just the right time.  Other friends gathered 'round the oblong table for chat.  It was a nice day all in all.  

My daddy died early in the morning of August 4th 2015.  All the family was around and his funeral was "not bad" for the middle of summer.  My friend called me extra early to tell me he was gone and Tommy picked Mama up for the final goodbye.  We had already planned that she would know she was there at the end.  Well played brother.  To the entire staff of 2 North I say thank you for taking good care of my parents at the end.  That includes several doctors like Ategbole, McWhirt, Caylor and Lanier.  What followed was a much bigger challenge.  Mom moved to the home surrounded by all her favorite stuff.  Our little tribe visited her often and her favorites were Tracy and Kerry.  That's a whole 'nother story.  

I'm beginning to let go of all that which is pretty normal around the 2 year mark.  We all have to grieve, ya' know.  Lauren and Reaves are napping as we speak.  Tomorrow is pedicure and shower day thanks to an anonymous benefactor.  After that Oscar and Sam get flea pills and we'll pay the rent.

Blessed ~

heal thyself

My piraformis continues to be a pain in the proverbial ass so I broke down and took my pain cocktail today that consists of two aleve and two advil.  Currently I'm doing chair yoga to stretch things out a bit.  My fascia is tight as a tick.  I'm sleeping with a heating pad and therapy ball.  Hey...I try.  Opiates do nothing for it but did help after the tooth pulling.  Like, a lot.  It's what you call appropriate use of pain medication.  

Because of the opioid crisis that is tearing this country apart, not many practitioners will randomly give you that stuff.  Benzos are a problem too along with the every present meth and crack.  If grandma is dying of cancer she usually has some morphine laying around or a patch.  These all make their way to the streets eventually unless there is proper stewardship.  

Almost time to see my babies!

robbing peter

I make a middle class living which means a lot of taxes.  There is no "other half of the rent" at this house, just me.  My daughter is pregnant and works a minimum wage job in another town.  I help her out when I can because she doesn't "qualify" for food stamps because of that great career.  She lives at the poverty level and I try to meet her halfway on things when I can.  I'm not saying I'm the thriftiest person in the world, but I don't blow money.  I drive a 16 year old Camry with semi-new tires, no hubcaps and only one door handle up front plus a number of dents.  It gets me where I'm going is about all I can say.  

By the grace of God I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses to the goodness of friendship.  They check on me and worry if I'm off the grid for long.  These friends are the ones who don't require a long explanation because just a facial expression will do in a pinch.  Like a well timed eye roll for instance.  They answer when you call or share and even if you don't see them for a year, it's like no time has passed.  What a lovely comfort. These folks hug you before they leave and sometimes when they first walk in.  

They come from time shared and experiences weathered together and if you're lucky, you get a chance to relive all of that through your golden years.  I think I'm there y'all.  Little Bit found some gray hair up top on my head today.  Time to see Marla :)

Sam Shepard's death has me back watching Bloodline and getting off on all things Rayburn.  The late great purchases from Hastings are boxed up and ready for whomever wants them.  Nurse Jackie. Weeds. Madmen. Breaking Bad. Bridesmaids and more!

I had a moment with a friend this afternoon that really touched me in an odd sort of way.  He shared his story with me, in detail.  That made me feel trusted.  

So.  It's still hot, just not as.  The nights are cooler and either the baby birds flew off or a snake got 'em.  The nest is empty either way.  

Harmony~

be that guy

I stopped by the chicken store this morning and as usual it was like herding cats at 6AM.  I had seen the young man who waited on me before but didn't remember his name. He rang me up and I realized halfway to work I didn't get the biscuit I ordered.  No prob, I said to self.  When I got to the sawmill I called out there and told Christine to leave a little note saying they "owed me one" and promptly forgot about it.  About 6:25 somebody called me up front and I was like " who is possibly here at this time of day?"  God love his heart, it was Justin from the chicken store with my biscuit.  Christine had told him where I work and he delivered it personally with an apology. This one's for you man.  You made my day.  On my afternoon stop I noticed the guy who comes every day with his wife for snack time only she wasn't at the table.  I was getting worried until I spotted her coming from over by the fountain drinks.  They are sweet as pie and smile every time I head to the beer cave.  "Break time!"

School has started much to the chagrin of many kids, teachers and parents. My cousins three kids were posed on the porch all excited about it except for NeNe who likes to sleep 'til 10.  She's in preschool now so up and at 'em.  Life is hard and then you keep learning after you graduate!

I've been researching the piriformis and how much misery it can cause in the lower back and hip area.  I'm not big on what does what but I think the SI joint is involved too.  My shoes are not the best in the world for standing on concrete all day.  Next payday I will fix that.  

Got a mammo lined up next week same day as my dental cleaning.  Slowly but surely I'm taking care of myself and getting focused on wellness.  Gotta be ready for grandbaby time ya' know.  I am currently pricing Similac and Huggies.  Neither is cheap.

With the exit of Mooch and Peggy Noonan's turn on a dime, I feel hopeful that there will be some partisan niceness to pull us out of the ditch.  Our great country is a laughing stock because of one man's intent to be in charge.  I say send him to the Russians since they elected him.  Let him be like uh...in Putin's cabinet.  He can run his business from there and even do Celebrity Apprentice Moscow edition.  Then maybe Edward Snowden can come home.  How about an even trade?

Be happy and healthy y'all.