never give up

Back in the day I was a one year Nanowrimo participant, foolishly thinking that I could write a 10K word novel in one month. We all know how that worked out, and it was because I was usually too busy blogging or running around in circles. The true inspiration for my writing came from a reporter in Memphis by the name of David Waters who covered religious goings on and how God's love was being discovered and practiced through a lot of different religions. In my one tour as a delegate to the UMC annual convention, I watched him stroll up to sit next to the stage, recording what was up for votes and what the message for the year is. I didn't have a freakin' CLUE what that was about, but it was during the time that gay people were jumping off balconies at the even BIGGER conference because they were being persecuted. Add to that, the CEO of our not-for-profit hospital system pitched the business complete with slideshow at the end of Sunday evening worship. I was not impressed because I worked there, and to me a company that bore the name of my home church should have more in common with me than me with them. It was then that I began to seek different ways to worship and be Big Ernie to others. The building is nice and all, but it's out in the streets where lives are changed.

Since then, that system "changed their mission" and became a nationally known transplant center. Prior to that, the strategy was to use the "feeder" facilities in West Tennessee to refer into their Memphis hub. Their largest competitor had the same idea and they ended up in a heated battle to acquire the most important facilities on their maps. In the end, our county board sold to the highest bidder for roughly 10M above market value for the seven of us. Corporate healthcare is just like any other job where you often have to wear a nametag to remember each other and the top dogs change frequently based on productivity. We had several, but the one that I will never forget is Dick McCormick. He is a jolly man...a nurse by training with extensive administrative experience. His dream went down the drain as well when the mission got changed. I always respected him as a leader because he got me out of trouble when I was young and stupid and before HIPPA and somebody told on me for something little. Whatever. This woman could have f***ed me up professionally but he knew how small town shit gets started and cut me some slack.

I do not like what healthcare generally has become. It's all about the $$ for everybody except the ones who are out there busting their asses to make life easier for sick people. All providers are like that in my experience. There are multiple reasons but much of the penny pinching is due to the uninsured populations that get on a tangent and clog up the ERs with their drama. I could write an entire book about the stupid things I've seen up there, including some girls who ran OVER a damn guy pushing a grocery cart on the interstate. And of course there's the guy who had a plastic 2 liter on his wanger. I think the scaredest I can remember being is going in on call to try to draw some blood on a guy who had been laying in a ditch for six hours prior after he failed to negotiate Dead Man's Curve. First thing I noticed when I walked in was that his socks didn't match! Bless his little heart, there was not a drop of blood close to the surface so the ER doc told me to "get it from his heart." WTF????? They didn't teach me how to do that. You're the doc getting the big bucks...you do it!

That is where my passion for palliative care began and continues. We are in a grind with healthcare just like with banks and Hollywood and the Euro and everything else. One of my favorite missions is Doctors Without Borders. These are trained healthcare professionals who go into war zones and natural disaster areas and help those who have NOTHING in the way of medicine. Preventive care is cheap and affordable, especially considering the end result of better health. Yet insurance companies do not play nice on that item. There is usually a co-pay that, while affordable, is something that must be in the budget for somebody like me. Everyone will die eventually, no matter how many hips get replaced or hearts get moved around. At this point in time baby boomers should be checking out the big Hep C because it's a freakin' epidemic. So is whooping cough. Presently I am under an OB/GYN's care to monitor low grade dysplasia of the cervix due to high risk strains of HPV. There is a vaccine available now for teenage girls that I would advise for anybody who can afford it. That could be the end of cervical cancer.

Chemo drugs are quite toxic by nature because cancer is a really tough thing to beat. Often outcomes are successful, giving families time to deal with realities and choose treatments options. A lot of the time it is about money as well. Medicare and private insurance will continue to pay and pay and pay until all hope is gone. My friend the FD(funeral director)told me a long time ago she wished she had let her mother play bridge and enjoy company rather than gettin' chemo the last year of her life. My favorite patient of all time is Fennie, the sickle cell patient that I picked up from the 'hood to speak at our annual volunteer blood bank banquet. She died in her early forties in Memphis, but I will never forget the passion with which she spoke to those blood donors. Same for Mr. Harold and Anna. To those to whom much is given, much is expected.

Anywho, I'm in a mood because it's hot as hell and the joker is getting way too much attention from MSM for my taste. Lock that idiot UP, turn off the cameras and get down to business. He is obviously mentally ill and that's what scientists call "too bad" according to Hoss. I am told that psychotic breaks usually happen during early adulthood so let's just be happy he'll get some meds and go back to remembering the lives of those who died and were brave. When Dr. Drew is on more than the presidential candidates, it's time to focus.

Peace and love kids. I'm a happy camper today ^j^