Sunday, July 29, 2012

i should have known better

Daddy's bedtime routine starts about 4PM when he locks up, turns on the alarm and goes about his very rigid schedule headed toward lights out. The element of surprise just throws him for a loop so I called ahead when I headed down there to borrow some Aleve for my old aching body. As I suspected he was sitting on the front porch waiting (and had called once already before I got there) waiting for me to show up. IN his shaky hand he held an envelope labeled naproxen containing ibuprofen which doesn't do a thing for me. He was already mad because I bothered the routine so when I came on in to find what I needed, he damn near went ballistic and stood there holding the door for me to make my exit. By this time I was feeling a real need for a little nerve pill as well so I touched base with mom on that and rounded it up. Mom asked me to come and sit with her for a minute and that just made it worse. I thought I had seen it all with him, but was quite taken aback at him standing there with a corn dog in each hand scarfing them down so that supper would be "done" and he could head to his brief attempt at a shower. The water ran for about two minutes max and he emerged wearing his shorty pajamas and cowboy boots, his usual nighttime attire. When he spotted me sitting on a stool chatting with mama, he proceeded to yell at me AGAIN and I made a hasty exit after getting a lecture from my 80 year old mother about what I should and should not be doing with my life. Just like hers is a bed of roses. Thank you Big Ernie for that happy pill. Got mine refilled today!

His behavior is becoming more and more aggressive and he cusses like a sailor now which is not his nature. I keep telling myself that it's the disease,but it's hard to deal with especially when she's so passive aggressive about the whole thing. Once an adult, twice a child is how that goes I believe. I can be ornery and somewhat independent, but I am keenly aware of other people and the gifts that they can be in my life. I don't feel that from them anymore because I'm the enemy trying to take them away from home. Never mind that I've spent six months tracking down $$ to try to keep that going exactly a mile from my driveway. I've been on call for 5 years and am wore ass out. Sometimes its hard to honor they father and mother when they demand so much and won't seek compromise. I sure do try though, bless my little heart.

As if that's not drama enough, Faith's baby daddy showed up today with his latest brood including new baby mama and two mangy pups. They are presently piled up in the cool dirt under my front porch, waiting for Derrick to report for duty tomorrow at the humane society. He'll get a four for one deal on that pickup! I have learned to be assertive in a nice little southern girl way, drawing lines in the sand and knowing when enough is enough. Four dogs and a cat are plenty of companionship for two girls. And a horse. My friend has been talking about animal totems and their meanings so I had to GOOGLE it and find that passage with a deer is a very good thing speaking to compassion, caring and growth. This doe had a baby right on her tail and they ran smooth out of the cotton in front of me yesterday. There are lots of honey holes for them around this place.

I'm not big on Olympic events because they remind me golf or football, things that I would rather not spent precious viewing time on. My idea to make a kazillion is to come up with a provider that will let the customer choose their programming both video and audio. Maybe Mark Z could do something with that in his floundering FB empire. It was absolutely asinine for that company to go public when it is a free product outside of advertising revenue. It has turned into a more user friendly Yahoo. Would I pay for it? A reasonable price but nothing big. That would be an easy habit to kick.

Meanwhile the local cable channel is still divorced from Viacom 'cuz there's no Comedy Central at the sawmill. That's probably a good thing since I'd be in there all the time watching. I did manage to catch CBS Sunday morning today, one that my parents turned me on to. We'll just call that "church service" and call it even.

^j^



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