prohibition, moderation and whatnot

Okay, ya'll. I'll be the first to admit that I have never been good with money and probably never will be because doing the math just bores the shit out of me. I do know that due to the high $ amounts for my overdrafts that I am not living realistically, i.e. on what I make. Because why you may ask? Nobody except the top 1% will ever have enough, except for maybe the other part of the top 30. The rest of us just schmooze along on autopilot trying to figure out how to make it day to day on a working stiff's salary. I suppose that cutting items with much forethought from the budget is a lofty goal, and the internet is a biggie. Most of the time I'd rather have that than television. Had I known that the teevee guys would cut me off even if I paid a large chunk of the past due just pisses me off. Contract time people. I already know the old run that debit card trick from your partner in crime. Just make sure you do it close to a payday, umkay? Otherwise it'll end up in your lap and onto the collector's franchise du jour.

I plan to read more books, something that I used to love as an escape from the constant blare of television that my husband and daughter loved. When I was having my early midlife crisis, the therapist asked me "Do you ever read anything besides self help books? Something for FUN!" And dammit, she was right. That's when my teacher friends took me under their literary wings and we explored the joy of book festivals. They literally taught me through their love, to cherish the written word. All of us had a huge crush on Clyde Edgerton who sang "Walking Across Egypt" one day on the plaza complete with band. Good times. It was with them that I learned the true meaning of serendipity. Shoutout to M and Sal^j^

Today I did what the Quakers called "centering down" and focused only on what was in front of me rather than multi-tasking. To my surprise there was an ease and purpose to my activity that allowed me sanity, even when there were moments that I felt that old devil creeping back into my mind saying "What are YOU gonna do!" I just told him to get thee away and continued my thoughtful pursuit of what I can actually to do change my reality. There are commitments that must be honored to my parents and I will never brick on that one. Fairly soon, I'll be living with them kinda sorta and that's gonna be different. Really? You can't go home, no matter what Bon Jovi says.

And I will watch movies with my daughter, something that we have come to love. She made me slobber and snot through Marley and Me again the other day because I think she sees that Faith is now an elder and we might as well get ready. That she leaves us a bull headed beautiful shiny black puppy as her legacy makes it all the more special, rather like the unbroken circle. I will remember and stay in touch with all the people I have met along the way on the interwebs, one way or another. And I will begin to consider what direction "the book" is to take because I've been talking about it way too long and not making the commitment. The material is there, all I have to do is fine tune and go. This blog, and my prior one "Poop Happens" introduced me to a world that I didn't know existed outside of my own mundane existence. I've received numerous gifts and sent them as well when I won't even take the time to buy a baby gift for somebody I know. It's the allure of anonymous giving where you can give a piece of yourself and not expect anything in return.

Ya'll be sweet,'cause Big Ernie's watching ^j^