learn to be still

Oh.My.Lord, ya'll.  If  I've ever been more excited to have one day off, it is tomorrow.  The month of September has turned into a whirlwind of crises both personal and professional and I really just didn't need that right now.  But hey.  It is what it is.  And this too shall pass.  It makes you appreciate the quiet times like right now.  My two dog babies are snoozing and the windows are flung open for the first time since May.  And yes, there is a very nice breeze from the northwest.  Thanks BE ^j^

Hopefully I will finish my story at the Dew about the riverguys and manage to sift through some personal paperwork and laundry.  Maybe work in a visit with the grands since they're a mile down the road.  My niece was due to be born today and I guess it could still happen, but I sense that she's holding out so that older brother can have today's birthday all to himself.  There is this odd bond among people who share the same birthday....I work with several who share my date.  It must be a cosmos thing or something!

I'm headed to the porch in my lucky flip flops.  Hope you are doing something just as lovely.

^j^

signs from above

I have found that Big Ernie tends to leave me messages kinda sorta like he did for Moses and all the rest of those folks.  They've never been of the burning bush or stone tablet variety, but I do catch on more quickly than ever these days.  Like a few minutes ago when I was out attempting to clean up the lawn yard a little bit and got stung by a wasp.  I figure that's a sign that this is not the day meant to be for that task.  Cooler air is on the way....my time will come.

A friend and I did the truck tour of our farm yesterday evening and I got to snap a couple of river pictures right above where the levee blew out during that ginormous May flood.  There was beer and a couple of folding chairs and it was a lovely time to watch the sunset over the mighty Forked Deer.  The leaves are beginning to change and drop off slowly in that way where you can hear one hit the dust of the forest floor.  Sam went swimming too!

Work was work, and mercifully not too busy once we got past the early morning rush.  More of the same tomorrow.  And the next day.  It's how we (almost) pay the bills. I've been running short on cash so my satellite teevee service will go dead on Monday evening.  I kinda see that as a message from BE too.  Enough is enough with the small stuff. At least there's only one month left on the contract with this one.

As for me and mine, we shall be on the porch every day until it snows.

^j^

sittin' here looking like this

That's something that Yaya and I bounce back and forth as a greeting when one asks what the other is doing.  I have retreated into my smartass middle aged woman cave for a day and a half of solitude.  My sanity depends on it!  I have never been much on drama as a staple of life, but so many folks just THRIVE on it that sometimes you get sucked into the vortex.  And I seriously hate it when that happens.  Women are the worst, hands down.  And especially groups of them that work together on a daily basis.  Anytime you have that many females together more than one somebody is bound to having either raging or ebbing hormones with variable personal crises in motion.  I know, because I've been there a loooooooong time.  No pocket watch either.  But that is the sawmill and I'm off the clock.

We gathered at Mom and Daddy's for a birthday supper last night for both of us Virgo girls.  My brother grilled and I cleaned up so it easy.  It was the first time we've eaten a meal together as a family in months what with jobs and moving and weddings and such.  BG's partner in crime from teenage years is gettin' married next month so there's lots of fru-fru bridezilla type stuff going on.  They will both be beautiful, I'm sure.

If anybody wants to know what to get me for Christmas, I'll take cases of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.  Those things are freakin' AMAZING!  I know....where have I been?

Leave a message at the beep.  I'm either away from my desk or with another client.

Peace out  ^j^

when reality becomes real

Yesterday was a benchmark of sorts.  On the Saturday before her 26th birthday my beautiful babygirl got visits from not only her Memaw and I,  and then we had a sleepover with all the critters present.  She graciously slept in the recliner so that I could sprawl on her bed with the dogs.  It is a quiet peaceful place, lovingly cleaned and decorated by she and Gomer.  The neighbors up front have three kids and a dog so there was plenty of action with bikes and squeals of delight.  I could actually imagine my grandchildren growing up there, and that's a good thing.

It hit me when I headed to the 'burg this morning to pick up my parents that her home is now my home AWAY from home.  I can rest there, not feeling obliged to clean or do anything other than pick up after myself.  And besides......there's that tub with the jets!   She is a different person there, a wiser and mellower version of herself, secure in the fact that she has made the move and somebody who loves her has her back.  He's not around much, but sometimes that's a good thing in the long run.  She is finding herself there, the parts that she didn't know had gone into hiding.  It makes me smile AND cry.  Does that make sense?

I've always tried to let her know the pride that I feel for where she's been and what she has accomplished in life. Against overwhelming odds, she grew up with a social conscience that makes her mama grin.  She's always been jealous because I grew up in the sixties when all that tie-dye skinny dipping thing was going on and my own mother took me to rock concerts in Memphis.  But ya know what?  She has the kind of soul that rang true during that era, and still does to this day.   Peace and love ya'll.  Peace and love.

Happy birthday LP...you were a gift from God to me when you were born, and that gift continues to grow as you do.


Mom ^j^

happy shit

That's a term that we coined up at Bev's bar when Yaya, me and our Redneck Friend used to meet for ladies afternoon.  With the sound of dominos slapping the granite counter as a backdrop and an occasional cheer, we discussed and bitched and solved the world's problems on more than one occasion.  After we'd had enough of that, we would move onto the "happy shit" like how the kids are and who's getting married/engaged/graduated/etc.  Happy shit is anything remotely resembling a positive experience , often with a spiritual tone to the whole thing.  Sometimes one exceeds the drama limit for a lifetime or a week, and just has to say it is what it is and so be it.  I'm gonna have a beer and forget about it for now.   I know, that is so like Scarlet O'Hara while Tara burned.  I'm Southern, remember?

Me and the salsa sisters headed to Mexico today only to find the doors of their old place locked with a sign directing us across the street to their new digs.  NICE.  Very nice.  The staff told us that they found out this morning that they would be opening today for lunch.  Yeeehaw!  The highway access is much easier, and it's right next to Lowe's which is the closest thing to a Home Depot that we have in the 'burg.  I am totally ignorant about things pertaining to TVs and DVRs so the one in my new den has been sitting there for a week staring at me with a black screen.  Gomer came and fixed it for me today so that I can watch and cook.  I lurve that guy and his GF.

It's still in the 90s here, but the nights are cooler so that helps.  Our cotton got sprayed last week so it won't be long until the bolls get sucked up into the picker headed to the gin packed in trailers topped with colored tarps.  The dry spell hurt it, but corn did good and the beans are turning yellow.  Won't be long until the combines hit the dirt for another harvest on the lane.

It's Friday....do I hear an amen?

fair credit, my ass

Well, I guess ya'll all breathed a sigh of relief that the Florida idiot got talked out of his little hellfire and brimstone stunt.  Not Ever.  This dude got some serious attention which just put the spotlight on ethnic tensions within this country that have existed for years.  I was struck by the media pieces that I viewed this year on that famous date, noting that there is broader sense of purpose leading those who lived to tell about it.  We didn't know it at the time, but our country was about to be changed forever in a not so nice sort of way. I watched media coverage of persecutions aimed at peaceful Muslim families back then, and it's still happening.  I blame ignorance on the part of critics who do not truly understand what a particular faith is based on.  So called Christians who are not inclusive enough to live and let live scare the crap out of me.  Case in point?  You guessed it.  TFI!

Birthday gathering has been moved to my house because BG has some plumbing problems.  That's just dandy with me because I'm at home and people are coming to see me.  And they know I'll look like a redneck smartass southern girl who could care less about hair and makeup.  Because that....is how I roll.  Somebody remind me to snap a picture of the word BITCH spray painted on the roof of the barn.  You think that was directed at me???????  Nah.

Oh yeah...the fair credit thing.  I've been in the, shall we say, lower end of the credit score system ever since I became a single gal.   I'm just about close enough to see daylight and my Daddy agreed to co-sign a loan for me to get to a manageable place on my own.  Two banks turned me down so I didn't bother to pursue it.  The reason?  Federal regulations that stipulate that if the loan officer doesn't  personally KNOW the person applying for credit, they should give them equal opportunity...credit score wise...to somebody they do know.  Which basically means this:  A person like myself, trying to re-establish credit has nowhere to go.  I will never own another credit card as long as I live because I went through hell over that little trick.  All I want is enough money to pay the bills and not be devastated when the AC tab is 400 bucks.

Over and out kids.  Keep the faith ^j^

and so it goes

That was one of Old Hoss's favorite expressions back before he became a smartass blogger dung beetle.  Somehow, that phrase just sort of sums up life without all the extra words.  We can moan and groan and whine and cry but it is what it is and the only cure for that is a pair of big girl (or big boy ) panties and a can-do faithful attitude.  Not that I always REMEMBER that......I mean gah.  Sometimes you just have to go into nuclear meltdown or have a hissy fit to cleanse the soul and move on.  That's the story of my week, and I'm sticking to it.

It came one helluva storm here yesterday afternoon so Pecan Lane is littered with branches and chunks.  According to farmer Joey's rain gauge:  2 inches, in just about an hour.  After the storm died down, I dodged road debris and went to Gigi's to help with the annual fall cleaning of the flower beds around her pool.  I talked her into planting perennials this year with the promise that next spring will be a breeze.  That verbena spread all OVER the place.  When I left, there were close to ten garbage bags full sitting in the driveway.  Slept for twelve hours last night and could still take a nap.  Do I hear an amen?

When I went down to the grands' house to count pills and give allergy shots, I picked up her vacuum cleaner so that I can attempt to at least get one up on the dust bunnies. Living center square in a bean field makes that difficult at times and downright impossible if you don't keep a new broom handy.  Thank goodness there's no carpet anymore.  THAT was nasty.  I spent one blustery February ripping every inch of it up by hand.  We padded around on the ancient wood underneath for years before we got something that looked a little better.  Amazingly, I have managed to keep the rent current for the past year since our change in management.  Of course I'm behind on the dentist and hand surgeon and propane, but.  So it goes.

I'm headed to Casa Babygirl tomorrow for a post-birthday party at her new place.  My brother is playing poker on vacation so I've got both ends of church delivery.  Lunch with my parents on Sunday is one the highlights of the week for me.   Daddy always pays out of his "allowance" and our tabs have ranged from ten bucks to almost fifty according to where we go that day.  I think we're back at Perkins for a while :)

God bless America.......land that I love ^j^

double nickel day

I never thought of it that way, until Yaya called this morning to remind me that I was 55 and wish me a happy day.  She was one of three loved ones who called me before the work clock ever clicked over to 7AM on my birthday.  Can't beat that with a stick!  While I had planned on a sleepover at BG's house tonight, we had to switch nights because the evil virus still lingers.  It looks like rain which is NOT good news for the Dyer County Fair.  That one single event has been an ever present part of my birthday heritage for as long as I can remember, which is fitting for a country gal whose parents spent every first week of September working in some capacity to make it a success.  My mother published a cookbook of recipes from her newspaper columns and home demonstration clubs and sold it to help finance the women's building at the present site.  Daddy is a past president.  Not to worry, though.  We never got special treatment on the midway or anything like that.

I worked the entrance gates for years, using the money I earned for whatever was needed at that time in my teenage years...usually gas to run around on.  It is a ritual for many people around these parts who take a week of vacation from their day job just to sell tickets and see who's coming out to wander amongst the ferris wheels and giant pumpkins.  As a young teen, I would sneak around and meet local boys in the shadows by the barns, stealing a kiss or two before returning to the fun house with all those strange mirrors and sounds.  There are beauty pageants EVERY day of the week, and lots of scurrying to and fro by fair association folks who bust their butts to make it a special event for families.  Our country could use more of that, ya know?

Back in the day, our Methodist church participated in a pastor exchange with a young minister from England.  For several months while our preacher was over there, Reginald Mallet and his family  became some of our own.  I was probably about eight at the time, give or take a year but I remember it like it was yesterday.  Reg was not only an ordained Methodist minister, but a physician as well which gave him a great perspective on ministries of healing.  Over the years he and his family have been back many times to the churches that befriended them during those visits.  He was a regular at Lake Junaluska in NC and every other place where you could find large numbers of southern Methodists hungry for guidance from a man who came from true Wesleyan roots.  His messages were always about peace, love and tolerance.  Found an an email today saying that he has passed onto the house with many mansions.

As for the dude who shall be known from this point on as "the Florida idiot" I sincerely hope that homeland security has the waterhose turned on high to blow his stupid bigoted ass out of the churchyard before he causes the end of   world peace this fragile situation that we know as our earth.  There's one in every crowd, ya know?  Big Ernie does not approve......and that's a message straight from God out of the mouth of this babe.  If I were a casting director, I would be ringing up Ed Harris right about now to play that part in an upcoming movie.  Think "Truman Show" with an evil evangelical twist.

Of course if there were no media coverage of his antics, it would be a moot point.  Something to think about? Bet your sweet ass ^j^

^j^

time warp

Things have been chaotic around here lately, to say the least what with all the moving and rearranging and joint custody of pets.  Faith spent the night with BG last night and Sam was lost this morning without her.  Now they're on their respective beds which we humans call couches and the evil cat known as Lily is on the way to Newbern for her first sleepover.  THIS should be interesting, 'cuz we all know how cats can be.  I'm spending the night there tomorrow night for a birthday spa party and I can't wait to soak in her tub with jets. 

It's been a long time since I felt like I was rushing through life, but this year has turned into the mother of all of them in that respect.  Change is good when there is room for transition.  Sudden change is a bitch.  Last week I attended two funerals both of which were expected events where the dying person had opportunities to mend fences and find some peace with life stuff.  In my opinion, that's a very good thing.  Ya'll wouldn't BELIEVE how often it doesn't go that way.

I'm toying with ideas for converting BG's room into a little den....there's already a cable box there and a TV.  She left the antique dresser that came from my parents so it's not totally empty.  I'd like to make it a comfortable place to hang out and relax, something I haven't enjoyed in a very long time.  That should be fun, dontcha' think?  Gotta have TV while I'm cooking.  Just saying.

I learned to cook from my mother who is the queen of southern fried and fru fru.  It has only been in later years that I've chosen different things like olive oil and chopped garlic to prepare something simple and easy.  Ironically, I learned THAT from my own daughter.  There is something really exciting about preparing a meal seasoned with herbs that you grow for yourself.  Uh...but then again.  I'm a cheap date, they say.

Lookin' up ^j^

code orange

It's been a long time, but I just had to get a dose of the national news this evening to see which hurricane is gonna take us out this time.  What I saw, instead, was a video of some religious fanatic wanting to burn some Korans two days after my birthday.  Next was graphic footage of all them in Mexico killin' each other because marijuana  is illegal in the US they need more money to kill some people who are trying to get to what used to a great country.  Today?  Not so much.  No wonder I watch two and a half men.  It's all a part of a grander plan to provide retirement bucks for the DEA.  How many federal employees do you reckon will be able to enjoy their golden years on what our government gives them?  Do the math, ya'll.

I had to wonder to myself who in their right mind would want to be mayor of Chicago these days but I reckon he'll get by on his good looks and the grace of God.  BG has this theory that we're all in the Left Behind series, which I failed to read past volume I.  I'd rather read me some southern fiction or Stephanie and Lula.  It's much more fun than getting snatched out an airplane or off a four-wheeler to face judgement, Revelations style.  One of my favorite books EVER is Clyde Edgerton's "Walking Across Egypt".  Back when I had an upright piano, I could play and sing every note of that tune..

Every act of violence against one another makes Big Ernie weep over what we have become.  It doesn't matter who is president or who's in Congress because none of them ever agree because of opportunites to make money off of lobbyists  party lines.  Wonder if any of them ever ever consider we the people. If I were a bettin' gal, I'd say just a handfull.

Yep...I'm in a mood.  Ya'll got a problem with that?

^j^ 

mama said there'd be days like this

Uh, no....not really.  I took a paid day off from the sawmill to visit Mark Twain's favorite spot on the Mississippi river down around Osceola at the San Souci landing.  Nice boat ramp and access compared to what we have here.  I'm talking primo, here.  I got there a little early to pick up two guys and a beagle so I spent some time visiting with the folks that were enjoying Labor Day by the river.  One guy and his buddies pulled out  a fishing boat and said hey.  Yet another man was there to pick up someone from one of the barge lines that run the river.  A biker couple stopped by and the pontoon full of kids, dogs, adults and beer launched right about the time that me and Snoop settled into the back seat of the blue Dodge ram.  I got my smart ass shuttled right to Hayti in time to catch a lift to Pecan Lane.  I hope the kids made it home.

When I got here, the trailer was loaded with BG's bed and other things that will complete our transition move from roommates to incredible women who choose to spend time together.  I don't see it as an empty nest....it's an opportunity to regroup and move onto the next chapter.  We have already cried about it, on more than one occasion.  We've been through almost 26 years of life together, and that doesn't go away just because of where your stuff is. 

Learning to let go is the hardest lesson in the world, yet it is so important when it concerns adapting to change and being happy with the whole deal.  Faith.............^j^

room for the spirit to work

It was like THE best day of pool season '10 with a nice breeze and decent sun at Gigi's pool.  I got to pondering our journey this year, her 50th birthday and my 55th in the year of Big Ernie.  Somewhere along the way I became an honorary sister so I'm privy to all the family gossip.  Don't bother to ask....it would be  a HIPPA violation if I told what I know.   That's the sister equivalent of "if you tell it, you're dead meat."  There's a huge cottonwood tree that sits on the edge of the property next door.  Those leaves, by the way, are seeing fall in a big way. 

I'm still trying to digest the fact that south Dyersburg got some sort of baptism by fire from the little bitty old Forked Deer river that winds around our the landlord's farm.  Reckon what would happen if all those rivers flooded and people who live by them without levees just lost everything!  Folks from Chic and Heloise knew to build their houses up on stilts so they could launch a boat from the front porch if need be.  Big Muddy is prone to do that in late spring after the snow melts up north. 

All three of our critters seem to sense that change is in the air.  Lily rarely snuggles up to me, yet she's been my constant companion for the past week or so.  Faith got her nails did when she had surgery so her clicks on the laminate have become duller.  Sam just chases everything in sight that wants a good run.  Some poor skunk got murdered up by the dairy barn and the entire lane smelled like giant fart until the vulchers cleaned up that whole mess piece by piece.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Pecan season is almost here and there seem to be a few nuts hanging from the trees that have ones big enough to pick up and crack .  Virginia creeper is everywhere and turning redder  by the day.  I don't know about ya'll, but I'm ready to open the windows and give the electric service a little break from my hard-earned money...with late fees.  God bless the propane guy who hasn't said a word about keeping us warm last February on credit.  Chocolate cake coming his way sometime in the near future.  With interest, of course.

Please do not come to the ER tomorrow seeking pain meds or nerve pills.  That seriously puts a damper on my Sundays at the sawmill.  You can tell the minute that the bars or church lets out because here they come in droves seeking medical attention from overworked and underpaid caregivers.  Back in the day, we had church services up on the third floor where the stained glass windows were..  Bradley played the organ and we all took a moment to remember what religion is all about.  Me and Lisa were the choir, so to speak, with UM hymnals in hand singing at the top of our lungs. Those were the days, my friend.

Over and out from Pecan Lane ^j^











 

rolling on the river

When last we spoke, I had just returned from the boat landing at Hickman, KY....a sleepy little town nestled on the banks of the Big Muddy. As with most Mississippi river ports in this day and age, there was nothing much left except for a few barges under the tree line on the other side, and two faithful travelers heading out for a couple of days on the water in a canoe. The folks at the private place north of there declined to let them put in from their fancy float, so we went to the public place and the guys launched their Bell from the concrete slab. It seemed to be a rite of passage for Lewis, the younger of the two. His guide had planned well as that is his passion...making the river experience authentic, meaningful and something that the client will never forget. As we all know, repeat customers are good for the economy and such.

BG is such the prankster that she left her TV tuned into Fox News so that I could catch a glimpse of Glenn Beck and Dennis Miller in action. Loved Dennis on SNL news. On Fox? Not.So.Much. She and the sometimes off again on again roommate are desperately trying to get moved to their new nest in the north but he doesn't get much time off to move the heavy shit stuff. Last I heard he's headed to the lane sometime tonight. Hope he's got his key because I'll be smooth passed out.

There have been many times during the past week that I felt the need to write my little heart out because things are just too much sometimes. Thanks to Big Ernie, I've managed to keep going and look ahead with faith. There's no other explanation for it, ya know? I was reading the church newsletter today and noticed that the new preacher talked a bit about grace and how it's such a wonderful gift. His reference was to C.S Lewis and his reflections about how Christianity is unique in that there is nothing expected...only love freely given. The rest is just denominational detail.

An old friend called me tonight, out of the blue. He and another guy named Jack were my best buddies back in the day. Our birthdays are all within a week or so and we have managed to stay in touch because that's what friends do. I invited him to come on up and visit Casa Poops with perhaps a stroll down memory lane to see my parents. Like he says " I'm not my daddy, but I'm a good guy."

^j^