crying uncle

I have to admit that my life has not been as bad as some healthwise, probably because I exercised a lot when I was younger. I've lived a life, though not without struggle, relatively easy peasy compared to some. I've never been raped or abused. The losses in my life have been spaced just far enough apart that I came out of each and every one a stronger person with a skill that I had never known existed. That is how we learn and grow and adapt, well. Some of us anyway! I chose a path for myself that included leaving a marriage that was toxic for both of us. We didn't love each other when we married and it showed. Over the years we learned to, but by then it was too late. Firmly entrenched as a two family 70K per year family we bought a house and had a kid. We moved here in 1988 and I try not to think how many thousands of dollars I've paid in rent for the pleasure of staying here on the farm where the GMO lives. Upwind, no less! I've been single for 13 years except for a couple of real losers and a true love.

My daddy has Bell's palsy and not an eye infection so I guess my "almost a nurse" self messed up on choice of doctors. Hell, when the old man says he ain't going, just leave it alone until all the women talk him into it. Home health is now expanding to include the social worker as a resource for this challenging situation. It's the perfect end of life care continuity that comes with well trained professionals out of the box, and family members who know enough to care. It is what you do when your mama and daddy are old and suffering and you can't fix it or even make it better because they won't give up. And you know what? I sure don't want them to. Nothing would make me happier than to see them calmly pass their final days in the red log cabin that is home, her giggling at BG's British accent and him talking about cows. And Law and Order. And Bonanza.....

It was back to the loan shark today because the eagle is about ten days out and there's no food. Our little bit of "entitlement" went away because of a bitchy tenured caseworker for the state. Here's the real rub. Shannah works two minimum wage jobs without benefits to take care of her family. When she wasn't working, it was all paid for. When she started TRYING to live on that pay they took away a lot of her help. Doesn't make sense to me, ya know? She has three children and a good support system but still...really? It takes away every bit of incentive to try and work for a living if you ask me.

I noticed today that a friend request I sent eons ago to Jenny's son got accepted today and I giggled at the time I sent him a bandaid in the mail for his booboo. Who says blog friends aren't real? Not I.