many layers

That could be lasagna or cakes or personal issues right off the top of my head. Which is what my layers are about right now. Debbie and I have rarely gone more than a week without talking to each other and I'm already itching to pick up the phone and call her. We talked the afternoon before she died and I probably won't delete that call for a while. I am just now free to let the tears flow and let go of the pain what with all the hauling and running thus far. Mom skipped church because of a predicted monsoon (which happened, by the way) around church time. That didn't stop the rest of the SS class from getting out, mind you. There they all came while we sat in the middle of the tiny dining room doing what we always do, out of habit. They don't even have to ask what we want. I ran into a good friend who manages the firearms at the local wallyworld and she had been at work. Said she gets overtime for putting out Valentine stuff. I would take it girl! Pills are counted, eggs consumed and light turned on the flag..in the rain. It's odd how daddy's light on the flag ritual goes because it's usually off at night when you would think it should be on? I don't ask. He argued with me today about what time mom got home from the funeral so I finally just gave in and said "fine." Never argue with an ornery old man by the last name of Stafford. You will not win.

I feel the spirit of a tough woman on my back now which is a good reason to look forward and believe in good things. Spring is coming, and we'll walk the yard together looking at what's coming up. She will kick my ass when I try to be a titty baby and give up, because she never did. As drained as I am now, all it will take is a couple of good nights' sleep and resurrection of my inner DGR. Watching the four generations of our family mix and mingle has been a blessing. It's nothing unless there are kids around, ya know? They are the future, bless their hearts. It won't be easy and simple like it was for us. And it's all Dubya's fault. When Hillary is elected Deb and I will have a toddy together as well. I can't believe we spent ten years discussing that shit on a phone!

In the words of the great Billy Yates..."This too shall pass. Leave room for the spirit to work." Amen, ya'll