step number five

It's all about being ready to make amends.  You say i'm sorry to the people you have hurt and ask for forgiveness.  If there is one person that I needed to make that amend with it was my daughter.  I never failed her, not to this day.  But I refused to enable her at the end.  From that grew a child names Reaves being raised by a strong mother.  I pushed her to play sports as a kid which was a train wreck.  I gave her a lot of freedom to make friends and mistakes.   I was sort of the buffer , so to speak, between she and the real world.  And I lied to her about how easy it can be if you just play nice.  That didn't serve either one of us well.

I am proud of who Lauren has become.  She is a kickass mama and doing her best to do the next right thing. I should probably visit Mama's grave and make amends for being so impatient with her at the end.  She taught me so much about life like cooking and journalism and common sense.  Daddy schooled me on the joy of nature and the seasons in his farmerly way.  

Other than that, I'm cool with it.  In every thing I've ever been a part of, I tried to do the next right thing within my boundaries.  I have regrets of course, but I don't dwell on them.  Looking forward while living in the moment is my game.  

And so, we all wait and watch as COVID rages and Trump refuses to believe that he lost...big.  Dyer county has become a real hot spot for the virus and the reason is crystal clear.  In spite of a county mandate on masking made by a mayor who has HAD it, people run around with faces uncovered.  It takes all I have not to preach but then it wouldn't do any good.  They don't believe it's real until it hits home.  I am a scientist and I know how nasty viruses can be.  I wear a mask to protect both me and you.  Sure, it's a hassle.  But it keeps us safer.  

I am considering not having a Christmas tree this year.  It's nobody but me and Lauren and Reaves have their own.  I will decorate the house with my favorite pieces and perhaps hang the best of the ornaments on a cord or something.  You know....get creative.  Life would  not be complete without ME wall calendars for me and Lauren and those are in the shipping process.  Along with the play doh dentist set that Reaves loves to watch on their channel.  She is wearing her big girl panties now so I'll rustle up a pack or two of those.  Heck, she doesn't care what she gets and neither do I.  

Y'all look out for each other and make a new friend every day.  Life is short and meant to be lived loudly.  Carry on with faith and good intentions.  And do the next right thing ^j^