solitary

I spend all my time running around most days...going here and there from appointment to the next one.  You see, I have multiple health problems and I don't have home health.  To get that little perk I would have to be hospitalized and discharged.  Except for visiting folks, I've been hospital free for four years.  That emergent hospital visit changed my life.  I now wear a bag 24/7 to catch the poop and it's not predictable.  There is gas most days and when I choose to gorge on good food Poopie let's me know she ain't happy.  Living alone, it's all up to me to keep the stoma happy.  There are granulomas and no WOC nurses in the burg.  I tried treating myself with silver nitrate but, no.  I need ostomy care

My car is in the shop for 2 weeks now with no transmission in sight.  Fortunately Laura Ann and Kent trust me with her car and I can get from point A to point B.  I put gas in it for the first time today at 2.89 which I think is a win.

I am pretty much house bound because of the humidity.  People who can't breathe well can't sit outside when somebody is mowing or spraying or whatever they do.  I can hear the hum of a mower in the distance.  Mine got done yesterday and I am current with Mayberry.  Life is good. If it doesn't quit raining we are all screwed.

I made a vow to myself today to be intentional with the rest of my life.  I certainly can't do what I used to, but I can share what I have with the world one day at a time.  When I was younger I never realized how much grief is involved with loving hard and letting go.  Except for that first boyfriend or two.  I have continued to love freely in a hippie sort of way to those who know my soul and reach out.  That means the world.

So my decision is to keep on keepin' on in spite of troubles and pain.  So far Big Ernie has taken care of me and I trust in "shim."  Who says God can't be a girl????  Been watching Reba on Netflix and I totally missed it back in the day.  Laughed at most of the first season.  

Don't know who won the voice because I have NOT live TV.  Guess I could YouTube it.  I did like Jelly Roll's number.  This is the official start of summer here in West TN except that's not supposed to be until June.  Yes kids, climate change is real.  Not so much here but out there in the glaciers.  If you believe that we will not end up in Waterworld because of that, please watch the movie again.  I hope I'm dust in the wind when it happens.  We've had several earthquakes during the past week in Lake County where Reelfoot Lake was formed by...an earthquake.  The Mighty Mississippi flowed backwards and tada!  

I thought about reading a book today but I can't see so well anymore.  I guess I should get a Kindle and some ear plugs.  People used to do that at the sawmill when we weren't saving lives.  Night shift can be slow if there are no mass casualties.  Usually it's a steady stream of deathly sick folks and their caregivers.  I admire first responders including EMS, flight support and well staffed ER facilities.  I haven't been to the local one in about four years when I turned up at 2AM and some asshat doctor told me I didn't have diverticulitis because my white count was normal.  That was thanks to another doctor.  ER doc did not do a CT.  Because...Normal white count. I had the classic symptoms like LLQ pain.  It's the past but I should have sued his ass.  Two weeks later I was inpatient at Baptist East with a belly full of infection.  That's a whole nother story.

to those of you who read this little journal of mine, take heart.  I'm not gonna' check out anytime soon unless my time is up.  And I trust God with that call ^j^