it's my birthday and i'll cry if i want to

Actually it started yesterday as I allowed sheer desperation to take over rather than reaching out for help in a normal sort of way. You'd be surprised how many people won't do that very thing. Instead they end up with guns that are bought from the arms dealers whick run our precious little world and threaten to blow it to smithereens or some other self destructive type of behavior. Sometimes technology ain't such a grand thing, especially when in the wrong hands. Anywho, I started the ugly cry yesterday and as usual it lingered over onto my freakin' birthday at work. My friend was so sweet that when she saw me bust out over breakfast money her precious little self went and got us a cake and some bologna which made my day. We were both born in Baird Brewer hospital on the corner of Church and McGaughey back on 9/9/55. I cried all day today in spurts, mourning the loss of my youth when anything is possible and facing the reality that today's world is not very friendly.

However, as Big Ernie would have it, my dear friends showed up with a hug or call as I trudged my way down to our homeplace to see my parents. My mother's shaky illegible signature is still readable and the envelope read "janie poo poo". Only a mother would remember that. Had to give daddy his allergy shot so we could stay on schedule and whatnot and then we just looked at each other like "what now?" I left there with 20 bucks and a hugeass ice cream cake to be divided somewhat equally between BG and myself during our month long celebration. I'm thinking I'll probably cut her initials out and save that part for her.

By the time I got up the lane and toward the house the dogs were ready to welcome me back to Casa Poops. That's why we can't keep a back door in working order because they're out of the gate to protect momma et al at all times. You just never know who might come staggering up the hill on a mission to spray "BITCH" on the roof of the ancient dairy barn. I still refuse to believe that was meant for me. AO helped me unload the ancient Camry that was recently emptied of barn wood so I could get some place to have a beer.

Which is where I am now. Today I plead with God to show me the way and take the pain from me. It's nobody's fault, just a whole bunch of post-Bush era politics with a very weak response from the one who got elected four years ago. The corporate bailouts were horrendous and served only to pad the pockets of ex and newly contracted CEOs. My favorite Sunday morning treat is watching Charles Osgood at work. Yes, in the waiting room...sue me. Kay now tunes in with or without me and I love that. Doing 16 hour shifts is no fun and she's a year older than me with a whole lot more on her plate. Just saying.

Love all ya'll ^j^