you can't make this shit up

Once upon a time my trusty old Camry got stolen from the hospital parking lot.  It was my fault because the keys were in the console.  This dude rode his stolen bicycle to kidnap my car and left it where the car WAS.  Hospital security got him on video and the car was found abandoned at the mall later that day.  I didn't have a way to get there when the police called so I chose instead to pay out the ass to recover my car from the impound lot over by Alvinos.  

When I got back into it I noticed that all of the evidence was still in the car.  His clothes.  Another bicycle.  A fake key. It looked like a bitty key to a tiny jewelry box.  Jammed into where the real key was supposed to go. Last time I checked dude was still in jail.  At victim's court the judge was not lenient at all.  This little asshole stood up with cuffs and a jumpsuit on and postured before his honor.  Bad move kid.  BAD move!  He got ripped a new one and told to stay away from all of the people he stole from.  And the hospital, for sure.  I will have to check the jail roster to see if he's still incarcerated.  Not that he knows where I live.  It was a crime of opportunity.  Grand theft auto.  

Anywho, I took all the evidence to the DPD and they loaded it out, bicycle and all.  White hoodie.  Crazy as batshit. The funny thing is that I didn't know it was gone until I went out to smoke.  Lerd!  I could not believe it!  The police came quickly aided by hospital security.  In the end, I sold the trusty old Camry and  bought a Ford Escape.  I saw the same model and color as mine and wished I still had one.  Ford sucks big time.

True story^j^