cancer sucks

My dear friend is trying her best to go to Jesus but it's hard.  She has cancer everywhere and is taking her time but that doesn't surprise me.  Girl is a fighter, for sure.  She has been a mentor to me since we first met and I have come to love her family as well.  That pecan orchard in Tiptonville holds many memories for all of us.  Dying is an active process and the end is not always pretty unless caregivers are acutely aware of the signs.  I have cried for her, burned sage and otherwise held space for her the past week or so since we went on deathwatch.  I pray that she does not suffer needlessly.  That is the whole point of hospice.

I am currently about as broke as I've been in years because I don't have a job right now.  SS barely covers the basic expenses and now the folks are saying they are gonna' cut it.  I am truly alarmed with Trump's agenda and his cabinet picks.  This is why I avoid the news.  One thing that really hurt me bad is that my transmission went out this past year.  5K being paid out at 166 per month for 3 years.  That was not in my budget, nor was the flat tire this week.  At 69, I still work when I have a job.  Sitting is kind of random and depends on who needs you when.  If you are devoted to one client, you must honor that commitment even if others need you.  I posted yesterday about what I do that includes "light housekeeping."  Somebody messaged me and wanted me to clean their house!  Gurl...I have trouble keeping my own house clean and I'm too old for that.  

My current view above the laptop is people STILL picking greens across the road.  First freeze is coming soon so you gotta' get 'em before they die.  I reckon everybody and their mama wants some for Thanksgiving.  I'll just take a green bean casserole along with my turkey, dressing and deviled eggs.  That should be plenty for the 3 of us.  We have had Thanksgiving dinner in this old house for many many years, usually cooked up on the hill and brought down here.  The last time my parents tried to make sweet potato casserole it ended up all over the kitchen walls!  I don't like that anyway  but Daddy did.  The year before I moved into this cabin we setup a metal table and yard chairs in the living room.....Me, Bubba, Lauren and Reaves.  There is a picture somewhere.  

I miss purple hull peas. You can't find them anywhere around here.  When all the immigrants get deported Pictsweet will go out of business because, well.  You know they are the ones who work hard at jobs that Americans' won't take.  I owe a lot of people a lot of money and will pay them when I am able.  They all know that.  There is propane guy and the pharmacy and the bank loan for the transmission.  Sometimes I feel like I should just get a bike and do good like Sylvester.

Y'all excuse me for rambling.  Keep the faith ^j^

gray days

November is full of 'em.  No matter how unpredictable the weather gets, you can count on Novemblah to be just, blah.  The time changes and this year there was an election which, if you are a progressive, was pretty disturbing.  I have not whined or cried or bitched about it, but a lot of people are freaking out over another Trump presidency.  My answer to that is simple, I just don't watch the news.  I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means.  But, I still can't believe that Harris lost by such a big margin.  I read enough online to know that all of the work that has been done over the past four years to right the wrongs is for nothing.  He will pardon himself, the Jan 6th rioters, and anybody else who loves his trash talk.  Of course the outgoing administration is giving him the full transition treatment as he meets with President Biden today.  He did not give Biden that courtesy and began yelling and screaming about how the election was stolen.  Was this one?  Who knows anymore.  

So transition to me.  I never expected to be THIS old and navigating life by myself.  When I was younger I believed that I would grow old with someone who truly loved me and would be a partner until the end.  That never happened for me.  I was married and had a daughter and she had a daughter too.  I adore them both but I fear for the way of the world as they age.  I knew the best of both worlds.  As a member of a veritable "Cleaver" family I was insulated from much of the evil in this world.  Even so, I did two years of hard therapy in my 30s to find myself as an adult.  I remember my mother asking me "What did we do wrong?"  Nothing Mama.  You guys did the best you could with what you had.  You taught me manners, respect, honesty and a love of God.  I learned to cook well and enjoy growing things.  My childhood was very inclusive and I never heard you or Daddy use racial slurs because we were a mixed community and loved all folks, regardless of skin color or religious beliefs.  

When I was a senior at Dyersburg High School I watched the Nixon impeachment and the passage of abortion rights.  That was 51 years ago and we have gone backwards since then as a country.  How did people get so mean and self centered?  I suppose it is biblical and has "always been thus and so."  That's what Daddy would say.  Billy Yates said "Leave room for the spirit to work" and "This too shall pass."  I look to these elders for faith in these gray days.  Keep the faith ^j^

alrighty then

I live on a road with a scrapyard 1 mile from the house.  As you can imagine, it is a hot mess trying to get in and out to the by-pass what with vehicles out in the road waiting to go in plus all their crap that gets dropped for us to run over.  I cannot count the number of times I have had tires patched or plugged because of picking up screws and such just driving down the road.  The business is within the Dyersburg city limits and on the 

way to the municipal golf course.  It happened again today and I took the screw and receipt to the (new) owner.  There had been a gentleman's agreement with the previous owner that he would pay for tire repair caused by his business.  New owner said that agreement was not valid after the sale.  Hmm.  Way to make friends in the neighborhood dude.  I will follow up with a complaint to the city which has been done time and time again.  

I am remembering my Daddy, a USAF veteran along with all others past and present.  Thank you all for your service to our country.  Next week is my mother's birthday in heaven.  She will be 91 and I miss her every day.  She was the ultimate southern lady with a quick wit and a big heart.  I will always remember the big ass pin that was stuck on the bulletin board by the island where they ate.  "I am not dead yet" it exclaimed.

You all know how I feel about the election.  It has taken me a week to come to terms with the reality of it.  As a Christian, my choice is to pray for our country and the future leadership.  The Bible is full of tales where people disobeyed God and he smacked 'em down big time.  Big Ernie is in charge of all of it, and there is a reason for every season ^j^

tis the season

Against all odds it looks like we will have pecans for the third year in a row.  They have been smacking the tin roof like little bombs since the wind has been up.  The front one?  Not so much.  But that one by the back deck is loaded.  Probably not enough to make a million but enough for holiday needs and for Patty and me to get our fix or rolling and crawling.  It will be cold when they all come down but that is not unusual.  

I'm taking a break from the news because it is stressing me out.  I have other fish to fry and things to focus my energy on.  My family is in crisis and I'll just focus on that and not on who is going to be POTUS.  Self preservation, it you will.  

Keep the faith and remember who you are ^j^

red state reflections

Well folks, today is the day we've all been waiting for.  The weather here is pretty scary, high winds and storms coming.  Anybody who doesn't vote before 2PM will likely get soaked.  My vote was cast on day 2 of early voting because that's how I roll.  I chose blue on all three choices, though I know that in Tennessee that is not the norm.  Even so, my vote counts in the long run.  My home church is having a drop in prayer vigil today because, honestly?  There is a lot at stake here.  Democracy is the main thing.  I have heard all the jabber from Trump supporters and listened to his hate filled rallies.  And I just don't get it.  It is a very close race and if Harris wins, there will no doubt be more of the same as in 2020.  

Much of the talk about this election has centered on womens' rights and separation of church and state.  Had the Republican party chosen a candidate besides DJT, I would have given some consideration to that.  The man is a trainwreck filled with anger who thrives on the attention that his supporters give to him.  Unless you believe the conspiracy theory that George Soros bused in people on Jan 6, it should be clear what his agenda is.  Violence is key.  So is a lack of respect for the process of electing a president.  I watched that whole thing unfold with my late friend Joy and it chilled me to the bone.  I also watched a lot of the hearings led by Liz Cheney who is a Republican.  My respect for her is huge.  Many people who were big shakers and movers during the Trump administration have come out with stern warnings about another presidency for him and our country.  If you have watched The Handmaids Tale, you know how I feel.  I may just move to Canada if he wins.  

We, as a country, have lost the respect of the global community because of all this "crap."  The economy?  Not booming but maintaining.  The stock market?  Doing well.  Inflation is rampant and that is not the fault of our president.  One Trump supporter remarked to me that he wants lower gas prices and interest rates like during the Trump years.  Ummm. Okay then.  But what about wars?  I distinctly remember when Dubya and Cheney started one in Iraq and Afghanistan that killed thousands of our military and gave a whole of the rest of them PTSD and other health problems.  War is hell.  I have never believed that we as a country should be involved in the wars of other countries.  It always ends badly with a lot of money spent and a lot of lives affected here and abroad.  That is their business, not ours.  If national security is at risk, we should take care of our own.  

My life is very complicated on a lot of different levels right now.  While you are praying for the country, keep me in mind.  I expect a lot of trolling by conservatives who like to have the last word.  So be it.  I stick to my convictions and beliefs ^j^

the adventures of gobo and ava, and also roellen

About a year ago my daughter Lauren was out door dashing in the Bells area with 2 kids in tow.  Lo and behold they saw two dogs running in the middle of highway 412.  She stopped and picked them up to haul them back to her house.  Little did she know at the time that their owner had been murdered in front of them by her husband.  Domestic abuse about two blocks away.  After they returned to Jackson, she began to piece together the details after their owner's body was found in the back seat of the car while her killer husband chilled in the house.  Needless to say, he is gone for a very long time.  The doggos, however, have lived with Lauren since then. Reaves and her brother loved them like crazy.  They lived inside and she faithfully took them for walks several times a day, scooping up Ava's giant poops with plastic bags.  She received some very generous help from the victim's family and rescue agencies but it just wasn't enough to care for two senior dogs.  Ava is a 130 llb black lab and Gobo is an Australian heeler.

As things happen, Lauren had to leave her home for treatment and the dogs were up for grabs.  They had already been through soooo much losing their beloved owner ( who was probably killed in front of them.  Both dogs were behind on meds, especially Ava who has a skin condition that causes her to itch terribly.  Sarah Kodad is one of those tireless souls who does rescue and foster placement and Lauren talked to her the day before she left.  Sarah sprang into action and found a temporary foster for them in Dickson until she could find transport for them to their next landing place in Hendersonville. Kim Storey Pugh took them to Dickson. My friend Patti called yesterday out of the blue to tell me that SHE was their transport to the next spot.  She lives in Murfreesboro so it was about an hour away to each place.  That is four hours of her time as a volunteer at her expense.   She said They slept the entire way to Hendersonville....exhausted from the displacement.  Sarah shared with me today that Gobo will have to be completely shaved due to matting from no grooming. The foster that has them now needs food for the two big eaters.  They will have a permanent home early next year but until then they are being cared for by kind souls who love animals and do the next right thing.  

I must say this, Paisha is smiling from heaven at all the love and care her babies are being shown.  I see a great big God at work here in more ways than one.  And I love it when that happens!  Sometimes we don't realize that God is at work until after the fact.  Sometimes it's immediate.  If you care to help with these two doggos, I have shared Sarah's FB post on my page asking for assistance with food.  If you have the means, please donate.  They deserve a good and happy life in their senior years.  

Many of you remember my two week foster of Roellen who turned out to be way too much for this old gal.  Before I ever got her, the local humane society gave me a 50 lb bag of dog food for her.  I delivered it to her new owner this week and Lori told me that she is living her best life where she can run in the country ( in circles ) and be a shop dog.  She rides with Lori's husband and son to pick up parts and greets customers at their shop.  Roe is a young dog with lots of energy and lived on the streets until Ann Dedmon and Shari Tidwell took her pregnant self in so that she could safely deliver the puppies, have them placed, and found her a forever home.  

Thank you all for caring.  Keep the faith ^j^

squirrel!

My attention span is very short, and has been for a long time.  I tend to wander around and do things half ass .  For example, I am currently watching Hillbilly Elegy and cleaning house while blogging.  It's how I roll.  Nothing much ever gets done unless I'm on a mission and today is not that day.  So much has happened in the past week that I can't really wrap my mind around it.  There will be a trip to Jackson next week to gather things up and return them to the homestead, once again.  Reaves is at Soberstock for day 2 of her depiction of Wednesday Addams, hand and braids and all.  Last night she went to her school fall festival.  Soberstock is a yearly event in the recovery community of Jackson.  I remember when she was just a newborn and I was there keeping her.  I could hear the band playing over at the nearby college for a football game as she swang in the little pink motorized thing that Julia gave her.  Soberstock was going on then but I didn't really realize what it was.  Now I do, seven years later.

I got 4 out of 5 stories done for She Magazine which is amazing considering the fact that I can't see well and I'm working on a very small computer.  As for Hillbilly Elegy, it ain't enough to convince me to vote for Trump.  The owner of the farm here returned to Traverse City MI yesterday about the time that Trump arrived, but probably earlier since DJT was 3 hours late.  And God bless Texas.

I will be in and out for awhile.  I had a very nice gig this past week with an old friend and we got caught up on every little thing plus ate breakfast every day.  The most important meal!  Surprisingly we hooked up with another old friend from CA who was in town for a couple of days and we had a great time at Cracker Barrel oohing and ahhing over the pretties in the gift shop.  Not that I can afford any of that.  Window shopping is cool.  Elizabeth bought a couple of Christmas gifts for friends while I sat outside soaking up the last warm day.  That's what those rockers are for.

Y'all be faithful and remember who you are ^j^

seriously?

Everybody is so excited to vote that there were zero parking spots in downtown D'burg yesterday.  I managed to snag a spot today and get in and out in 10 minutes then ate breakfast at Dave's.  They told me yesterday was WILD and it looks like today will be the same.  There are signs saying "no campaigning beyond this point" yet I saw a big ass truck parked right in front to the office with a huge Trump thing on the back.  Hmmm.  I seriously don't respect people who don't have their minds made up before they show up and are swayed by that kind of thing.  If you don't know who to vote for, don't go.  Research it and find a candidate with which you have common ground on the issues.  This election year has been one for the history books.  Enough said.

I am a writer and I am struggling right now.  Not with inspiration or lack of interest but with failing eyesight and lack of proper equipment.  I am currently using a Chromebook that was given to me by my friend Jay a few months ago.  My eye doctor has declared me eligible for state assistance with improved options for  vision impaired users.  Nothing so far.  When my mom developed macular degeneration in her 70s she got a keyboard that had yellow keys which are much easier to see than the black with white.  I was at the State Gazette today and noticed that one staff member had a keyboard with white keys and black letters.  They were BIG keys too.  That is what I need. Maybe my readers would chip in for something more user friendly.  Or not.  Times are hard and nobody has money for a GoFundMe.

I went to the doc yesterday for the 2nd time in a week and he seemed to be a bit outdone with me.  I don't blame him.  He's younger than me and way overworked in a system where everything changes on a dime and he has to watch his ass on everything.  I got a steroid shot which helped and a Zpack for the URI.  Plus some cough medicine.  I feel better today except for the nagging pain in my scalp which is uh...occipital neuralgia??  It woke me up last night along with leg cramps because I can't afford PT co-pay anymore.  But I digress.  Life is good on so many levels.  

historic day

The Dyer County courthouse has been undergoing renovation for many months now.  I don't normally show up there and have been dodging the equipment while driving through downtown.  Lucky me got pulled for jury duty beginning September 2nd through today.  Panel C.  We have only been called twice and the first time I didn't get picked.  Today was supposed to be a trial so I headed out early to eat breakfast at Dave's before 9.  They were closed!  Probably because of fall break.  Anyway, I wasn't about to go back home so I sat on the ledge out in front waiting for the doors to open at the courthouse.  I was scrolling through my phone when the judge approached and said "Don't you have anything to do?"  I explained about Dave's and he let me in since it was business hours.

Many of panel C were not present for roll call by TJ.  I noticed that there was no defendant at that table but brushed it off.  Once court was in session, we were told that there was good news and bad news.  The good news was that the case did not require a jury and we were free to go.  The BAD news was that we had to take the elevator down ( or the back steps.)  I chose the elevator.  I almost fell down the steps last time I was there.  

What made it historic is that it was the last time a jury pool would be assembled in that courtroom as we know it.  Beginning tomorrow the entire thing will be gutted as part of restoration and the coming jury pools will report to the temporary courthouse near the fairgrounds at a property bought by the county.  As I left I remembered all the other times that I had been there, including once as a witness.  In that particular case I was deposed at the end of the day by an attorney who is long gone.  It was a child custody case and I was a "surprise."  A final nail in the coffin, so to speak.

I had canceled my doctor appointment because of this so I called them back and said I could be there like, now.  They got me in and out in 30 minutes with a shot in each hip.  I do so love my PCP.  He is a curmudgeon by anyone's definition but he appreciates that I know my stuff.  It makes for short visits.  After a blood draw, I was free to go once again.

I'm having trouble keeping up with things since Roellen ate my calendar and you certainly can't get a new one in October.  I reckon I will have to learn how to use my phone for that.  I really prefer having a day planner but, there ya' go.  

Prayers up for all those who have been hit by Helene and Milton.  That was sure a double whammy for Florida.  It's still not real to me that Reba is gone but it hit like a ton of bricks when I went by her house to visit with her daughter and son-in-law yesterday.  As Nancy and I walked into the kitchen to get me some bereavement food, I remembered all of the times that Reba and I sat at that kitchen table talking about life.  

Y'all be grateful and faithful ^j^

love you bigger

My dear friend Reba passed away on October 4th, two days before her 86th birthday.  We have known each other for a very loooong time because she and her husband Joe were running buddies with my parents back in the day.  Following her very serious vascular surgery last June, she hired me to be her gal Friday.  And so our friendship continued in a much closer fashion for a year.  

We were polar opposites in many ways.  I wore no makeup and dressed like a slob and she put on makeup and matching outfits every day.  We did lunch all over the area and shopped at Walgreens.  She even bought me some makeup and Hempz lotion on one outing.  She had gorgeous red hair that got done at her home by Connie.  In the end, she was taken care of by home health and her daughter Nancy.  I was there overnight on several occasions sleeping on the couch and listening for her footsteps and the walker.  We would wake up early, eat a biscuit from Mel's and watch TV or scroll through Facebook on our separate devices.  Then we would figure out what to do for lunch.

She told me a lot of stories about her past.  Reba worked as a dental hygienist for many years, first for Dr. Talley and then for Dr. Young.  Everybody loved her, including her clients.  Her stories included tales of her and Joe and my parents going on road trips to the White River.  One in particular sticks in my mind.  Daddy was pretty impatient and they had eaten lunch somewhere and Joe had to go.  Like bad.  Daddy pulled over on a field road and Joe did his business but there was no TP to be had.  On the next trip, Joe drove and there was a handmade TP holder on the dash.  

In his later years, Joe and Ernest came down to the riverbed to fish and when I was down there taking pictures I would run across them.  My favorite pic of all time is of those two. I would drive that trusty old Camry down through the fields and find a spot by the slough to explore.  

Reba was always the hostess with the mostest.  When somebody needed a meal, she whipped it up and delivered.  She was adamant that all cabinet doors be closed and I learned to do that during my time at her home.  Plus, organizing the silverware according to pattern. My mind doesn't usually work that way but I did it for her.  She knew exactly how to stack the bowls and soup cups to make it work. 

We talked politics a lot because we are both Dems.  She told me about the yellow dogs back in the day and I feel sure that she is voting from heaven for a more peaceful democracy.  Every time I left her whether at home or hospital or rehab, I said "I love you big."  Her response was always "I love you bigger."  I miss you Reba ^j^   

walking across egypt

I fell in love with Ckyde Edgerton about 40 years ago at the Southern Festival of Books in Nashville.  It's something that I would have never done on my own but I tagged along with some teachers and experienced the joy of meeting writers and buying their books.  At the time I had a piano and played often so I sat down and played the song that Edgerton had written which was in the back.  I thought about that today at church when Mary Beth continued our journey through the Bible with Exodus.  I seriously needed that refresher on the Old Testament because, well.  I am not a scholar. We heard about the evil pharoah and how he was so alarmed at the number of Israelites that he ordered for babies to be killed to quell the population explosion.  Enter Moses.  You know the story about the baby in the basket in the Nile?  Yeah.  That one.  He promised to take the Israelites to the promised land from slavery in Egypt long after Joseph and his kin had died.  God is abundant and God will provide a way. I watched SNL on Sunday which is the only way I can get my humor on without live TV,  Not that I'm up at 1030 on Saturday night.  Ya' know?

We are all in this together and for the life of me I can't figure out why folks don't want to play nice and help each other.  When something bad happens, everybody wants to "help" but what about doing the next right thing?  My washer is stuck on rinse and spin so I'm trying to pull it out of the little cubby to unplug and reset.   I seriously need some muscle for that but it's just me so there ya' go. At least I have electricity and water, praise be ^j^

first light

I woke up today early and had a bag leak due to pancaking.  I changed it and went back to sleep.  All I saw after a day of rain and wind was a few pecan limbs laying willy nilly out in the yard.  Others, however, woke to find that their lives are changed forever by Helene.  They have lost their homes, businesses, lives, and much much more.  What is so scary to me about this storm is that it moved so far inland and created havoc.  It is the inconvenient truth that Al Gore warned us about years ago.  Our infrastructure is crumbling and nobody cares.  At least nobody in charge.  

As a country, we put out fires when disaster happens rather than investing in pro-active measures.  FEMA. National Guard. All the things that do search and rescue when something goes bad wrong.  Imagine a world where dams are repaired before they bust and flood towns.  I live about 15 miles from the Mighty Mississippi and have seen my share of flooding and such.  Much of this disaster is man made and due to poor oversight of resources.  Back in the 60s the Forked Deer river was channeled by the corp to prevent the yearly floods that plagued Samaria Bend Rd.  It feeds into the Mississippi and Obion so when one floods all the others do as well.  I remember as a child going to town to live for a week when the water got too high to navigate.  On more than one occasion.  Even when I lived on a hill, when the river flooded in 2010 and 2011 the road was not passable.  

The river makes for rich farm land in the bottoms but is normally not ready to plant until late May or early June except for higher elevations.  By August those bottoms are pure dust in the wind.  I have lived here most of my life and seen the changes from year to year.  There are levees in place now to protect the crop land following a few blowouts.  Bubba took me down to see the work going on several years ago.  It cost a fortune I'm sure.  

Reaves is living in a new house that is bigger and probably pretty strange to her right now.  I miss her and I miss Lauren.  My vision is getting worse by the day which means it's hard to write and hard to drive.  Hell it's hard to see what's on the counter or the desk!  I tend NOT to whine but sometimes you just gotta' vent.  Much of my physical health is related to my life choices and genetics.   Having an emergency ileocolostomy five years ago put me into renal disease which has a whole 'nother set of problems.  I get my labs done on a regular basis and right now my creatinine is a bit high and my GFR is low.  But, it's better than it was two years ago.  I think my biggest problem right now is that I am B vitamin deficient.  Since the pills don't digest well considering my gut situation, I'm getting a shot every month.  We shall see.

I am asking for prayer right now for many people.  One of them is my friend Lorna who is suffering mightily.  If you read the list in the DFUMC newsletter, you know she has been there for months and months.  Keep praying people.  This woman needs some peace ^j^

sticker shock

I have been gone from home for almost a week and the cupboard was bare so I headed to Kroger this morning.  Not only was the inventory pitiful but the prices were outrageous!  I got a lot of food and household essentials but it cost me almost 250 bucks.  And no, I don't blame Biden.  I blame corporate greed.  My search was focused on things that don't take a lot of effort to cook but I ended up with lots of ideas for recipes  that I love.  Like easy chicken pot pie and warm spinach parmesan dip.

My heart is a lot lighter now that Roe has a new home and is happy there.  I felt soooo bad about failing her but it just didn't work for either of us.  It takes a village and she ended up where she needs to be.  As usual, this too shall pass.  My SS class has been praying about our situation, bless their hearts.  I reckon that prayer was answered.  

The state of our world is kinda' sorta' scary right now on all levels.  I gave that to God a long time ago so I'm not worried.  When my time comes, I know that I have lived a good life and had a lot of joy.  Sure, things have been hard at times but that is when we grow in faith.  I find comfort in knowing that those who have gone before me will welcome me to the next life.  

Y'all stay safe and remember who you are ^j^

roellen

Me and her spent a couple of really interesting weeks together here on the farm.  Shari brought her to me about the time her sixth litter of puppies was weaned. There were seven but two of 'em died.  Shari got them all places because she is the dog whisperer,  so to speak.  Girl has plenty on her plate but will always do the next right thing for an animal or a person. It was just yesterday that I came to understand that Roe living here was not a good idea for either of us, or Rosie.  After I posted that she was leaving, a whole bunch of folks chastised me for giving up too quick on her.  None of them know my situation and thus placed blame on me for not trying hard enough.  Go back and mind your own biz, and judge not.  

That judgment is what bothers me the most whether it be in church or in politics or both. Many voters have an agenda. Many Republicans embrace pro-life stuff, except when it comes to mass shootings at schools.  Legally speaking, if a woman is on her own and can't take proper care of the child, it punts to the state.  In Tennessee that pretty much is a wash.  At least now Medicaid pays for diapers.  That was not the case when Reaves was a baby.  I reckon Medicaid got expanded somewhat.  But not nearly enough. 

I watched the debate on YouTube and had to stop in 

about halfway in.  It was like a reality tv series where smart woman smacks down elderly idiot with a bad tan. I never imagined in my 69 years that I would see Roe v Wade handed over to the red states to police reproductive healthcare for women.  Cue *handmaids*

I am rambling but this is about Roellen.  I love her so much but I know my limits.  She deserves better than being in the house all the time and crated when I'm gone.  Should I have thought it out more?  Sure.  She followed me every step I made and ran like the wind in the empty field across the road.  She loves other dogs but not so much cats.  Poor Rosie was traumatized from the get go and spent about 3 days on the steps to the attic.  It is not Roe's fault.  She's a street girl and deserves a better life than what I can give her.  I feel sure she will be placed where me and the rest of her  tribe can visit and bring treats.  It takes a village ^j^

church hugs

They tend to be on one side but always a treat!  I showed up at court this morning and thankfully did not get picked for the day's trial.  Can't speak to the details because....shhh.  I ate breakfast at Daves and walked on over to the courthouse.  There was a bunch of us all sitting together waiting to do our civic duty.  I needed to pee and empty my bag. True story.  Roellen was crated last night which works better for us.  She did eat one end of the couch but I'll buy some blankets from the 'gentral to cover that up . It's what we do.  I sing that song every day while I go about life.  Must be a faith thing.

I pray for all those people who were at court today and got picked in the middle of a monsoon to decide a guy's fate for being stupid.  I just watched the presidential debate today and, well.  She kicked his ass 9 ways to Jesus.  And he was pitiful recounting all of the falsehoods of his presidency.  I cut it off about halfway in.  

It is important to be educated about politics right now.  Watch.  Listen. Learn.  And please don't let somebody else make your mind up before you vote ^J^

birthday girl

Poopster is now offically in the last year of her sixties.  How did that happen?  I had an unusually great day and felt better than I have in weeks.  So many people reached out to me, and not just on Facebook.  My birthday fundraiser was for Paws 2 Care and the donations hit exactly on the day.  Yaya brought me lunch and I got many calls and texts.  Plus, Bubba gifted me with some beer.  He who doesn't "do" birthdays.  He always tells me it's just another day to him.  The older I get the more precious it is to make it another year around the sun.  

Roellen and I are still in training.  We take one step forward and two steps back.  The dog from down the road that knocked me down and drew blood came back around yesterday and I called 311 for dog at large.  Hopefully his owner got the message.  That dog has followed me from the house on the hill to down here which is a looong time.  

My free computer is kinda' dragging the past few days.  I'm not sure if it's the connection or the laptop and I don't know how to figure it out.  Yes, I am tech illiterate.  I feel grateful just to be online however slow it is.  

I put in a request for some refills from my PCP this morning and as I was shopping at Pet Sense his nurse called and said I needed labs before they could do that.  It's been awhile so I told her I would be right over.  Being an ex lab person I gave high praise to the phleb who actually got it the first time with a straight needle!  I have actually grown a vein in the left arm where the big one was scarred to hell from donating blood.

I ain't gonna lie....I feel my age. Not in my head, but in my body.  I am slow, clumsy, can't see well and tired all the time.  But really, that is nothing new.  I am clumsy by birth!  I reckon I'm always in a hurry.

I got Roellen some oats and brown rice bones at the doggie store and she is currently shredding one in the yard after I kicked her out of my bed.  I will give Sadie one when she comes to visit.  And I will keep the faith ^j^

(im)perect timing

I got up this morning with all intentions of attending Sunday school and church.  Roellen had other plans for me.   I let her out early to roam the yard and noticed that she didn't come back in a few minutes.  When I went outside to investigate I found her across the road in the soybean field with a dog that lives 2 miles down the road, running and playing.  She had not been fed yet so I took the food bowl on the porch and shook it.  Both dogs came running.  Lerd.  I finally got her on the leash with other dog trying to knock me down and drawing blood.  Then Roe got off the leash dropping me on the steps.  Ouch!  Finally I managed to get her inside and other dog went away.  I don't have the owner's phone number or I would have called him to come get whatever its' name is.  

Somewhere during that struggle my bag came loose and leaked all over me.  By this time I was bleeding, stinky and disgusted.  I texted some of my SS peeps to let them know I am indeed alive and haven't left the church!  There were assurances of prayers going up for me.  I had settled down to watch the service online when I heard the lawnmower roar.  Now, I have not had a mow in a month so I was not about to tell Lee I was "having church."  He was pleasantly surprised that the grass was not thick and just a bunch of weeds.  He dragged several HUGE pecan limbs over to the edge for Ryan to pick up when he's off work at the steel mill.  Bring a chainsaw dear.

My left ear has been off and on infected for months and I've been giving it the peroxide and alcohol treatment.  This morning the eye on that side was draining and puffy. Back to the doctor I go, probably on my birthday.  In addition to all that, I have jury duty with a possible trial on Thursday.  I can just see me explaining to the judge that I was absent because the dog ate my homework.

In spite of all this mayhem, I am grateful.  The washer is running and the dryer now works.  My wounds will heal.  And God is good.  All the time ^j^

a tale of two roes

Rosie the cat has lived with me for several years after being rescued from a friend's flower bed as a kitten.  She is potty trained, very affectionate and freaked out at the moment.  Enter last Friday, stage right, Roellen the street dog.  Also a rescue, she is probably happy to have a home but doesn't realize that the other Roe lives here too and they have to get along.  I have been very mindful to give Rosie time with me away from the newbie and I know she does appreciate it.  Yesterday was a full on cat and dog fight and Rosie smacked Roellen in the face multiple times with her paws and hissed a lot.  Currently Rosie is hidden in my bedroom with the doors shut.  I learned that trick from LP and JJ.  When I can coax her out I'll take her outside and feed her.  She had begun staying out all night and coming in during the morning before Roellen ever came.  Roellen is on trazodone to calm her down during the transition.  

Funny story and true!  Her foster called in a script for said drug at my pharmacy and when I visited the doctor yesterday the nurse brought up my "new drug."  I had to think a minute and said "Oh, that's for my dog."  Her reply was "Like the dog ate my homework?"  I about died.  I told the doc about it and he laughed.  Then I shared the story of how she came to live with me.  He was filled with admiration for my devotion to rescues which I am beginning to doubt!  A girl can only take so much.  She has lived here for exactly one week today following a spay the day before.  It's all new to her and we are working on a routine.  I tend to sleep later then her foster so that's an adjustment.  Last night she slept in the kennel and did fine while I snuggled with Rosie.  And this morning, all hell broke loose!  

Shari showed up with food and her toys while she had Rosie cornered in the bedroom.  She took her for a walk and bonded a little in her new surroundings.  And she gave her a good talking to about being a good girl.  We shall see.  I believe that she will come to love it here, and in fact, already does.  It just takes time.  And patience.  And me learning to put things up high!  Yesterday she pulled over a big bag of dog food and ate a few pounds off the floor.  She wasn't even hungry this morning.  Imagine that!

I watched Roellen as she rolled in the grass this morning and marveled at her beautiful coat.  Not too long ago she was a street ho and now she has a furever home.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  It puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to my personal freedom but this too shall pass ^j^

total chaos

Me and Roellen are getting used to our "loose" routine thanks to anxiety meds and whatnot.  I crated her this morning when I went out for a couple of hours to do interviews for SHE. When I got home some guys came to work on my dryer and told me that it was "poorly vented" and a fire waiting to happen.  That is fixed now thanks to Jason Butler.  Roe was excited at first but calmed down in spite of the noise.

I checked the news when I got home and it was all bad.  Another mass shooting and Israel being hard ass.  Not our circus no matter what Biden says.  When did we become rulers of the world and send money to save it?  Oh, it was back when during all the wars. Vietnam was a trigger point for me.  I remember watching it on our black and white TV thinking WTF??  I was just a teenager but it made an impact.  Those vets were treated horribly when they came home from service.  Same for all of the others.  PTSD everywhere and no support from our government for their service.  Presidents will come and go but support of veterans is major.  Agent Orange.  Burn pits. All the things.  War is hell. Putin is bad.  And you know who loves him.

My rant is over.  I draw about 1700 a month from SS which I earned while working.  It is not an entitlement. I saw the money come out of my check every month plus FICA.  I never dreamed that my retirement would be like this.  Next week I will be 69 and inflation plus healthcare costs mean that I have less disposable income for food and gas.  This is because of corporate greed.  I don't qualify for food stamps or other assistance because of my SS income.  Some people say I want something for nothing and that is not true.  I just want to survive and keep the faith ^j^

what have i gotten into!

It is day 4 with Roellen and things are kinda' dicey.  I had to leave this morning to get my tire fixed and when I got back she had destroyed the living room.  I tried to lock her in the bathroom but one of the doors doesn't shut so she escaped.  She is currently kenneled in the kitchen to settle her ass down.  And she ain't taking it well!  In her defense, she is used to being outside at the foster's house with a fenced yard so we are on a major learning curve.  She ran the cat outside who did not return to eat until this morning.  Poor Rosie.  She and Oscar got along because they were here together for the past 3 years and he was old and used to her.  This is a whole 'nother story.

Happy Labor Day to all!  This is opening day of the Dyer County Fair and the weather looks good for the entire week.  By my birthday it will be highs in the 70s and lows in the 50s which is what I call perfect weather.  This month looks very busy and I am not at all up to it but I'm trying.  At some point I need to go see my girls because I'm missing them like crazy.  It has been one thing after another with the car, new dog and lack of energy.  Once again, what was I thinking??  I did not anticipate how hard it would be taking in a new dog.  We sleep well together but....

My tire had a hole in it but nothing was found like a screw or nail.  Tammy told me that it bothered her and if it went down again to bring it back at no charge.  My liberal self got treated to a waiting room full of Trumpsters talking shit about all things "illegal immigrants" and how our power is being taken away by the government.  Plus a side of homophobia.  I just sat there and kept my mouth shut because I was outnumbered and  knew it.  I may have choked on my water a few times.    

Roellen has stopped barking and is used to doggie jail for the moment.  Thank you Johnny and Lisa Keeling for the loan of a crate.  We will work all of this out eventually.  Faith tells me that ^j^

you can't make this shit up

Once upon a time my trusty old Camry got stolen from the hospital parking lot.  It was my fault because the keys were in the console.  This dude rode his stolen bicycle to kidnap my car and left it where the car WAS.  Hospital security got him on video and the car was found abandoned at the mall later that day.  I didn't have a way to get there when the police called so I chose instead to pay out the ass to recover my car from the impound lot over by Alvinos.  

When I got back into it I noticed that all of the evidence was still in the car.  His clothes.  Another bicycle.  A fake key. It looked like a bitty key to a tiny jewelry box.  Jammed into where the real key was supposed to go. Last time I checked dude was still in jail.  At victim's court the judge was not lenient at all.  This little asshole stood up with cuffs and a jumpsuit on and postured before his honor.  Bad move kid.  BAD move!  He got ripped a new one and told to stay away from all of the people he stole from.  And the hospital, for sure.  I will have to check the jail roster to see if he's still incarcerated.  Not that he knows where I live.  It was a crime of opportunity.  Grand theft auto.  

Anywho, I took all the evidence to the DPD and they loaded it out, bicycle and all.  White hoodie.  Crazy as batshit. The funny thing is that I didn't know it was gone until I went out to smoke.  Lerd!  I could not believe it!  The police came quickly aided by hospital security.  In the end, I sold the trusty old Camry and  bought a Ford Escape.  I saw the same model and color as mine and wished I still had one.  Ford sucks big time.

True story^j^

open table

One of the things that I dearly love about the UMC is that communion is offered to anyone who desires to be served, regardless of religious affiliation.  Car troubles and dog duty kept me home from church today but I watched online as Mary Beth went through every part of the communion liturgy with us and broke it down as she does with confirmands.  She remarked about the passing of the peace " You either love it or you hate it."  It is a touchy feely kind of opportunity to make things right with someone that you have unresolved conflicts with or just an expression of love for your fellow Christians.  "In the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven" precedes the passing of the peace.  This liturgy brings us to the Lord's table forgiven and at ease to accept grace.  

Potty training is not going so well here with Roe but I will hang in there with her.  It's a new place and new rules so it will take time.  I need a crate to train her but haven't been able to get out and buy one because, uh, the car.  It's raining today, finally.  That will save Joey some money on the water bill for the irrigation system and maybe save my unwatered flowers.  

This is the day that the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it ^j^

grounded again

Per my usual luck, my car is dead and has a flat tire on a holiday weekend when nobody is working.  This happened yesterday when I got out of the car and got a low tire message and THEN noticed that the brake lights were staying on.  Again.  By this morning it was dead as a doornail and the tire was flat.  Do y'all see that little black cloud following me?!  But I am grateful that my brother has a battery charger.  I needed this holiday weekend to work with Roellen on potty skills.  She is a rescue and had a fenced yard at her foster's home so being out here is a whole different ball game.  She loves being outside but there is traffic which she is not used to.  Or maybe so.  She was rescued at a convenience store on a busy highway, pregnant as a goose.  I am trying not to let her out of my sight in the house.  We haven't found her "spot" yet here in my yard but that will come.  

Meanwhile, Rosie is parked on the steps up next to the attic waiting for a chance to escape.  I guess she will come down when she gets hungry enough.  New dog plus old cat equals trouble.  I had a whole list of things to do today but, no.  Here I sit typing away.  My therapy, if you will.  

Normally my birthday falls during the week of the Dyer County Fair but not this year.  It's on the Monday after.  Most of my childhood birthday memories are of spending it at the fair with my parents who worked it every year.  Mom was Vernon Henson's right-hand gal and Daddy was on the board of directors.  He would leave late every night to help count money from the gates. 

I worked at the gates for several years when I was a teenager and loved every minute of it.  I would not go now if you paid me!  Mamye said to me yesterday "Janie, let's go to the fair!"  She was kidding of course.  I replied "Let's don't and say we did."

My 41 years at the hospital consisted of working every other holiday on rotating years.   If you got the holiday off you usually worked the weekend before if it was a Monday thing like Labor Day or Memorial Day.  Never ever the eves plus the day for Christmas and New Year's Day.  It was a way of life for us in the healthcare field.  Same for sick self or sick kids.  We had to show up.  Ice and snow?  You better be there.  

Roe is sitting by the front door watching four wheelers whiz by.  I have her on a pretty strict schedule with food and potty breaks on a leash.  I tried letting her "find her own spot" without me and she ended up across the road in the bean field and ditches.  Live and learn.  Oscar was so easy that he knew his way home from any point on this farm.  This girl will have to learn the lay of the land at her forever home.  

Y'all don't overcook your grilled food or get too wild this holiday weekend.  And as always, keep the faith ^j^

hot damn

I don't know about y'all but I am OVER this heat. The only saving grace is that there is low humidity because it hasn't rained in a long time.  It's kind of like desert heat I reckon.  However, it is August.  September is right around the corner which is a big month for birthdays in my family.  Mine is on the 9th, Reaves on the 21st and LP on the 22nd.  There is a story there but I'll save it for later.  You probably already heard about the labor from hell that resulted in a baby on the eve of Lauren's birthday in 2017.  Dat baby will be 7 soon and she will get a cute as hell unicorn bike helmet from Gaga.

One more day of extreme heat before some relief. If the weather guys know their stuff there should be rain this weekend.  I miscalculated and told Ryan to skip me on the last mow.  It's not too bad but patches grow tall.  For the first time ever, my yard is taller than Joey's farm lot.  

Roellen's rescuers are hooking me up before her arrival on Friday.  Ann came by with a dog house and food plus a pink leash.  Shari is taking her for a spay and shots tomorrow.  She has a bed for her.  I had lunch with the Dyersburg buddies today.   I think next time I'll get a grilled chicken salad.  Timbers uses green and not iceberg lettuce.  That was following my first interview of this time period with a local attorney.  Fascinating visit!

Y'all stay cool and safe from the severe weather.  It's been so hot that some thunderstorms or tornados are bound to be on the heels of front.  I learned that from my brother the weatherguy.  Carry on with faith and hope ^j^

just for fun

Poops is taking a day off from the real world since it's so hot and I'm pretty weary.  Carol and I had breakfast at Coby Jo's today and I'm currently in and not going anywhere.  The rest of my week is packed so I'm escaping reality for a bit before I get out and about in the heat.  I picked up some vitamin supplements today at a twofer' price at Walgreens because I'm pretty sure I am D and all Bs deficient.  Nothing gets absorbed with a gut like mine.  

Roe is set to get her lady parts removed on Thursday and will be here sometime on Friday to live forever.  I am so grateful that my tribe turned me on to her need for a home, and my need for a companion.  I read that today is National Doggo Day so let's remember the late Oscar, Faith, Sammy D, Ryder and all the others who have blessed my life with puppy kisses and love.  

The news today is more of the same so I'm in my little world pretending that all is well.  Sometimes manifesting peace is what you need to keep the faith ^j^

teaser

We have had some very mild days for August but are heading into a week of brutal temps.  Hopefully, that will be the last of it.  The Farmer's Market has returned to the downtown home and it was quite pleasant there this morning as I wandered.  They have been at the fairgrounds all summer where it was hot, crowded and had a steep access hill.  The vendors were all happy to be back by the river.  I bought some gifts and some dog treats for Roe who will be coming soon to live with me and Rosie.  She has never "lived" in a house so there will be some training in my future.  She is such a good dog I don't think it will be a problem.  

I had a low dose CT of the chest yesterday and the results were sort of what I expected except for some pesky news of arteries with plaque.  I follow up with the doctor in September and will consult with him on what to do next.  The older I get, the more my body is catching up with me.  I haven't had any joints replaced which is surprising *knock on wood* but the other parts are wearing out.

I have watched bits and pieces of the DNC and I'm really impressed with the breath of fresh air that is Harris/Walz.  After months of worrying that Trump would have his way I now have hope.  The trolls don't agree with me but whatever.  RFK Jr. the conspiracy theorist and anti-vaxxer has pulled out of the race and jumped on the Trump wagon bringing the few votes that he had with him.  His family has denounced him and are, quite frankly, bewildered.  His daddy and uncle are shaking their heads in heaven.  When a candidate's own family doesn't support them, that says a lot.  His main talking point is "healthy children" yet he and DJT want to dismantle all the federal healthcare agencies like the NIH, FDA and others that keep us safe.  Kennedy is eyeing a spot in the Trump cabinet.  I heard that he approached Harris with that deal and she said no.  Good for her.

Football season is here which makes a lot of folks very happy.  I could care less, unlike my parents who were big time Vols.  I have many friends that I know not to call during a UT game.  Local rivals DHS and DCHS met last night but I don't know the outcome.  

I can still hear the horseflies hitting the windows like crazy and the cicadas are wailing for all they're worth.  It's late summer when everything dies that is not watered and I'm not about to go out in the heat to do it.  My days are full with working, doing errands and keeping the faith.  I had forgotten that I sent a memorial to the church for my old friend until I got a thank you note from her daughter today.  Mama taught her well.

I am a stringer for the local paper working mostly on the yearly women's magazine that spotlights ladies who have found their paths and passions and done something great.  They are all shapes and sizes and their callings are different.  Being around strong women lifts me up.  

Grammarly wants me to write with generative AI but I'm not quite ready for that.  That would twist my words and thoughts a bit and I like them the way they are....plain and simple.  So I leave you with this thought.  Remember who you are and keep the faith ^j^

accidents happen

That is what the police officer said when he responded to my 311 call from the Kroger parking lot.  I've been gone for a week and needed to stock up so I did what I hate and went grocery shopping.  As I was pulling out of the parking space I misjudged the distance from my front right to the trailer hitch on the adjacent car.   The guy in the Yukon was very gracious about being detained while I filled out an accident report.  In the heat.  With over a hundred bucks worth of groceries.  *sigh*  I should have gone to church!

Lauren was diagnosed with MS within the past year and a scan last week showed new lesions.  She set up a GoFundMe which is shared on my FB page so if you feel so inclined please donate.  Every little bit helps.  She is carless because of a hit and run accident and trying desperately to find a job on her bus route that works with her current health situation. She has been on meds by mouth for the MS but will now have to do injections because it is progressing.  My girl is only 40 years old and trying to be a good mom while struggling with all of this.  Please pray also ^j^

I haven't had trolls in a long time but recently one of my "friends" has been hanging around poking me when I post.  Yes, he is a Trumpster.  I don't go for the bait anymore, choosing instead to let my silence speak and my posse does the patrolling.  

The heat wave returned after a few very nice days for August.  A cold front is trying to pass through and things should cool down in the next couple of days.  Thank goodness I put a bunch of money on the pre-pay utility bill.  I do so hate to sweat.

The talking point for the GOP  seems to be "Are you better off than you were four years ago?"  In some ways yes and in many ways no.  Comparing prices from the pandemic years to today is ludicrous in my opinion.  Women, in general, are worse off because of the repeal of Roe v Wade.  To deny abortion to those who have complications from pregnancy that threaten the life of a woman is way over the line.  Ditto for rape and incest.  I lost all respect for SCOTUS on that one.  JD Vance is creepy as hell and so is Trump.  He has been impeached TWICE  and caused all sorts of civil disobedience during the past 8 years.  The party of "faith and values" has stomped on our rights and allowed the gun industry to produce a killing machine for the masses.

I noticed that the police officer has his blood type right on the front of his uniform which is pretty cool.  You never know when some lunatic will go off and get violent.  He didn't seem too impressed with my knowledge when I told him he could get either A neg or O neg.  Once a blood banker, always a blood banker.

Y'all stay cool and keep the faith.

way behind

That pretty much describes my financial situation right now.  I called propane guy to see if they have a summer "special" because who is thinking about heat right now except for what's up outside.  Big time heat alert!  I got kind of woozy while out and about chasing down my new debit card and going from bank to ATM and back again like three times.  Sweating like a hog and dying to get home under the AC.  Seven bucks a day right now with all the heat and humidity.  We had a rogue thunderstorm during the night dumped a bit of rain.  The thunder woke me up.  So did the peeing times 3.  I live alone and have no room for somebody to share the house.  One bedroom, living room kitchen and bath.  There are wonderful porches and a deck to die for.  I pay a reasonable rent but it's a struggle.  

I have only owned a house one time and it was on Tickle Street.  Billy Miles sold it to us because he was in the business of building and flipping.  He even arranged for financing.  After four year, we decided to raise LP in the country and so it was.  She was privy to her grandparents at all times and grew up knowing the history of this farm.  She climbed a lot of trees and had her own room up at Charlie's house.  The steps and porches were kinda' sketchy but that didn't stop us from exploring.  One Sunday after church we picked up Julia and scoped out the dead cattle bones over across the road.  They were in 5th grade and so excited about the dead bones.  I'm pretty sure they took 'em to school for show and tell.  God bless those teachers.

I hosted a lot of parties for the teenage and young adult crowd.  They had fun and so did I.  We came to know and learn each other as friends. Some have passed and others still stay in touch.  It's a big circle of life for a child from another mama.  Nothing ever really bad happened except for......

I live in the house that I grew up in.  It is nothing like it was back in the day.  My parents have been in heaven for about 8 years and the history is still here.  I was gone for about umm...10 years.  Me and Daddy redid the whole place including a lot of wallpapering and mini blinds.  Even in the snow with the cardinals and all kinds of birds jumping around!  I took me about 15 years to clean out the attic and basement.   LP and Gumby explored that house on the slough.  There poison ivy every freaking where in the woods. Daddy took me fern hunting over there one time and we found a few wild things.  I have transplanted so much from that river bottom to here there and yonder.  Y'all stay cool and keep the faith ^j^

your honor

I have wheels again thanks to Jesus and God and Mother Theresa!  And of course, Les at Lake Road.  When I was waiting  inside for him to come back with the part yesterday I visited with Momo over the wooden fence inside.  She mostly sleeps but gets excited when somebody calls her name and will give her a head rub.  I drove away and the car worked good enough to get me from here to there and back home.  

And I seriously could not wait because it's hot as hades out there.  My electric bill is running 8 bucks a day but I refuse to die hot.  Sometimes it kicks off at night or early morning and I have a box fan so there ya' go.  I've given up on watering the flowers and will let nature take its' course.  Mayberry and crewed mowed today which is always a major allergy event.  *big sneeze*

I had forgotten that today is election day because I always vote early.  I am a D so it was easy to declare and pick candidates based on my research.  The mailman delivered a jury duty summons for September and part of October.  If I have a car, I'll be there Sheriff.  I do so believe in jury duty as a service for citizens.  

The apples are ready so I may go pick 'em if it cools down any.  Or maybe I'll just sweat it out.  Keep the faith ^j^ 

brave

More car drama today.  I usually handle stress pretty well but this has been wearing on me for a loooong time now and I broke down crying in the 'gentral parking lot where the damn car wouldn't go into gear.  This was shortly after I had the brake light switch replaced.  I noticed when I left that the brakes were "tight" but assumed it was nothing and went to pick up Mamye to go to the store and when I pulled out of her driveway and it started.  We went really slow and by the time we got to the store I smelled something burning and so did she.  I popped the hood and opened it with the help of a nice older gentleman parked next to me and he smelled it too.  My only option was to have it towed back to the service center.  And so, I am grounded again.  And so is Mamye.

My friend Lorna is seriously ill and I am asking for prayer for her health and peace for her soul.  She is smart and tough like me, but sometimes the strength wears thin when times are hard.  Please lift her up.  She has pretty much been my life coach since we met.  

Sorry there is nothing inspirational here today.  I'll try harder to keep the faith ^j^

no verdict

Once again I am dealing with car problems and I so wish that Tennessee had a Lemon Law.  I have had this car for 3.5 years and now owe 160 per month on a new transmission but there other electrical issues going on involving brake lights and wacky windshield wipers coming on without being TURNED on.  Lerd.  If it ain't one thing it's ten.  I have just given it to God at this point.  Nothing else to do but pray.

Bubba brought Daddy's old battery charger out yesterday and it charged all night so that I could get out this morning.  That's when the wipers went ape shit crazy.  I cruised by the service center and told him about that but he was so covered up we won't be able to talk until he tests the new brake sensor switch.  If that doesn't fix the brake light problem it is electrical....a short, if you will.  First the navigation screen went out six months ago and it's been downhill since then.  I hate Ford.  I know Jesus doesn't like for us to hate but Ford Motor Company is huge and rips off consumers daily.  Like me the little people.

It doesn't help that I don't have a man around to advise me on all things car.  Bubba knows his stuff and is always helpful.  I don't know what I'd do without him.  He wants a big batch of cream cheese sausage balls and as soon as I'm able I will do just that.

Sorry to be a bummer today.  I know that there are others much more worse off than me and I pray for all of us.  People like Lorna Donaldson and Morgan Love.  I won't tell you their stories but ask you to lift them up when you feel the Spirit move.  

Y'all hang in there and keep the faith ^j^

grounded

Well, I knew it would happen.  My brake lights have been on for 2 days straight and I was able to get out yesterday but....this morning?  Dead as a doornail.  My mechanic has tried two different brake light switches and neither of them worked.  Sooo..it sounds like an electrical problem.  I am hoping they can fix it without a lot of cost.  Maybe a fuse or two?  Let us pray ^j^

I talked to Roe's foster just now and let her know I have not jumped ship on her adoption.  The puppies are walking and barking like crazy according to her.  I watched church online but it's not like being there in person.  But when you are stuck at home you make do.  Being grounded doesn't really bother me but other people count on me for transportation and that is frustrating.

We are "enjoying" lower temps and high humidity but that will all change this week when it heads back into the mid 90s.  Summer is not nearly over with two records broken in the past week for the hottest days ever globally.  I do pre-pay electric with Forked Deer Electric and put extra money on the books in anticipation of the hot weather to come.  

If I were smart, I would use this time to clean the house but, nah.  It is what it is I am feeling lucky to just maintain.  I started getting sick on Friday and yesterday was horrible.  Benadryl is my BFF.  For some reason allergens are out the wazoo this year and it's affecting everybody in a bad way.  

I am thinking about my mother and her love for the Olympics these days.  She looked forward to the events always and was glued to the TV.  I don't have "real" TV but I've been watching on news sites.  It beats seeing about Trump's rants as breaking news.  As a Democrat, I feel relieved and a bit excited about Kamala Harris running.  Of course DJT is afraid to debate with her except on FOX not those filthy mainstream networks.  I call BS.

Still getting used to these new uppers and it's a challenge.  Most of life is challenging right now to be honest.  I am faithful enough to believe that this too shall pass if I just leave room for the spirit to work.  

i blame the cat

Rosie gets blamed for everything that goes missing around here plus other things like that I bought a used Ford from a shady dealer a few years ago.  I read today that their CEO has tanked the company.  Currently none of the the things like lights or electronics work in my car.  2015 Ford Escape.  I will be paying for the transmission for the next 3 years because the bank has my title.  My screen is black and I listen to the local station because I can't see that navigation screen.  Once again, an electrical issue.  If I could afford a lawyer I would sue Ford but I can't so there ya' go.  I bought it used from Gene Langley Ford in Humbolt TN 3 years ago.  Live and learn.  I would give my eye teeth for a Toyoto but they are already gone and I have dentures.  

I traipsed across Crockett County today in the pouring rain so that LP could go to a job interview and I could visit Ms. Reba.  I'll spare you the details on that interview but HR failed to show up and they asked her to come back in the afternoon.  She offered do to a zoom interview but they were not receptive.  I played the Mama card and called the one person that I still know there and we chatted forever about the old days.  I realize that shit happens but damn.

Somebody hacked my FB today and it isn't the first time.  I cannot imagine having nothing better to do than mess with somebody else's social media.  I have come to learn that if somebody sends you a friend request that you are already friends with it's one of those folks.  I always just delete the request.

Rosie and I have talked about Roellen coming to live here and so far she's cool with it.  We shall see.  And leave room for the spirit to work ^j^

shoo fly

Lord y'all...the horseflies are attacking like little ninjas with no fear whatsoever.  I hear them smacking the house in between pecan drops which look like pistachios on the deck.  It has been a rainy day with more left to come for the next week but still, the irrigation system is running.  It's been pretty dry for a long period and those beans need water!  

I hate my new teeth with a passion.  As I did with the ileostomy, I am learning how to eat and process food but I bet I have lost ten pounds which I didn't have to lose.  Everybody tells me I look "little."  When I weighed 180 lbs I would have appreciated that but now it seems that I'm just wasting away.  I love to eat and to cook but there are restrictions now because Polident can only do so much.  I go for my checkup tomorrow after PT and will use my flex card for some of that high dollar mouthwash and buy more noodles.

Roe's babies walked for the first time today so they are well on their way to new adventures.  Shari and her girls are such good fosters.  The last time I was there there bitty eyes were open.  I think Roe is about over motherhood at this point and I can relate.  In reality it's never over.  As long as you live you will be as happy as your most miserable child.  I admit that it is co-dependent but it's what happens when you become a parent.  It ain't over 'til it's over.  A "death to us part" sort of deal.  My brother and I spent five years post driver's permission putting out fires to take care of Mom and Daddy at home.  He was finance and I was healthcare/lives right down the road.  There were many trips to the ER.  Several car wrecks.  Lots of drama.  The biggest issue was Mama's blindness and Daddy's dementia.  There was not a lot of patience there on either side.  He wanted to be in control of every little thing and she just wanted him to read to her from the State Gazette.  Kinda' funny I ended up as a stringer there.  Serendipity perhaps ^j^

no means no, unless it means yes

I read all day long every day which is probably not good for my back and shoulders.  The reason is that I work on a laptop or a phone and do not have ergonomic friendly devices.  Plus my cat Rosie parks her butt up right here on the desk just because she wants attention.  She has this odd little habit of laying in the wicker out back way up high.  It's a great view and so far no new tears in the screen.  She has no idea what's coming when doggo arrives.  Roe is being potty trained by her foster and the puppies are still teeny tiny so it will be a while.  I'm just fascinated with watching the mom take care of the village.

Compassionate people care for those in need.  We don't judge but choose instead to meet them where they are and figure out a road map of how to get out of the cycle.  Poverty and homelessness.  No food.  No ride.  The sheer amount of suffering is something that you cannot fathom unless you see it in person.  Oscar went across the rainbow bridge a few months ago in my bathroom floor with me bawling like a baby and my vet friend guiding me through it.  I have been lonely without a doggo and it just so happens that Roe has come into my life.  She's a short haired older mutt with five surviving puppies.  I'm asking her to come here on the farm and the puppies will go here there and yonder.  Spay and neuter people.  Teeth and bras!

I was treated to a nice head washing and cut by the fabulous Nina at Headlines this morning.  Note to self:  Find out what those products are!  She worked on me while Chucky ate his breakfast and we tossed the bullshit around.  It's hard to hear when you are almost deaf and the dryer is going.   That place is like home because I know where the bathrooms are.  They work hard and enjoy it.  Always tip your personal beauty consultant and the wait staff.  Jesus will love you for it.

A couple of dear friends were very worried about me because my mouth pain has been horrific and they talked me through it.  I am not a wuss with pain but this was BAD.  I think I've lost 8 pounds already.  Poopie is happy though because she's gettin' a rest.  It cooled off and rained a little bit today which is very nice.  Once again, I put my theory out there that the seasons are all effed up because of global warming.  If you don't get it we will all be on Costner's ship in WaterWorld.

Grace and Peace lead to faith and works ^j^

teefies

As of last week, I have new ones on the top.  The back ones were pulled last year in preparation for more extractions and a denture placement last week.  I must say that I am on the learning curve with this as far as the pain and how to care for them.  The swelling was so bad the first few days that my face was puffy and I couldn't chew.  I still can't chew well, really.  That is not a good thing for someone with an ileosotmy.  If it ain't one thing it's ten.  Getting old is not for sissies.  

I met my potential new doggo yesterday and she is sweet as pie.  Her puppies are only a week old so they will have to be weaned and some kind folks who found her will pay for her vetting.  We pray that she is heartworm negative.  Ironically, her name is Roellen, Ro for short.  She was found on the road to Roellen and thusly named.  That highway is where I got smacked by an 18 wheeler last fall while looking for a friend's house.  Dude topped the hill as I was turning and didn't have my turn signal on so I was at fault.  The nice trooper did not give me a citation because he knew that "truckers think they own the road."  I have observed many polite and gracious ones and some real asshats that go way above the speed limit.  I guess it's just like all other drivers only their rigs are HUGE.  I was lucky to survive that one but have been in physical therapy ever since.  Speaking of PT, I saw my old buddy Patrick this morning.  He is the one who treated me when I was quite frankly "pitiful" post-op with the gut surgery.  I was also lucky to survive that event.  Most everybody thought I was a goner but Big Ernie had other plans.  

I try to discern what it is that He wants me to do.  It's mostly little things but that is what counts.  Meet people where they are and don't judge.  The schism in my home church has hurt so many people, especially the ones of us who grew up there.  And all because of exclusion. 

I won't even begin to discuss political things except for the fact that I am sad for our country and where we are right now.  The rhetoric needs to calm down and so do the people.  Research before you vote.  Know your candidate.  Reach across the aisle for a better America ^j^

sean of the south

Some time ago, and don't ask me when because um...I've lost track of time, my friend Beverly posted a piece by Sean Dietrich and I was immediately hooked.  His writing style is honest and often gut wrenching as he writes about every day life, including his own.  He spends a good amount of time on the road with his one man show that includes humor and an accordion so many of his epistles are about road trips and airports.  A native Floridian who never graduated high school, he has achieved "star" status with his devoted readers, including myself.  Beverly was fortunate enough to see him in person and send me a coffee cup with his logo on it along with other gifts.  We have known each other through Facebook for years and years, since her granddaughter Ella was about the age that Reaves is now.  Seriously cute kid.  

I cannot begin to name the number of people that I know only virtually but that I consider great friends.  Many of you remember the story of the blog fairy who visited me for a couple of years.  If not, just ask and I will share again.  Then there was Old Horsetail Snake whom I actually DID meet when he took a nationwide trip to visit a few of his favorite bloggers.  I was honored to be one of them following his visit with Vicki and I then sent him on his way to Trisha.  Old Hoss has long since become a dung beetle and I miss his wit and humor still.  Hoss was a former speech writer for the governor of Oregon and had a terminally ill wife.  I sent them cookies and Tennessee stuff and shortly after she passed onto glory with his help.  That is legal in Oregon.  He chose the same path for himself to join her several years later following his many visits around the country.  

Once I was going to try and meet up with Lois Twater and that didn't happen but we did chat on the phone.  These are the people who live in my computer and they are real to me.  Bloggers are a rare breed who tend to use their blogs as therapy and in turn help others.  At least for me, that is the case.  Almost 20 years ago, my friend John Yarbro suggested that I blog to which I replied "What the hell is that?"  Live and learn.  Now almost everybody has one from food to healthcare to spirituality and more.  A weblog or blog for short, is an easy way to write and reach people.  Writing a book is tedious and I'm not built that way.  I choose to share every day what's on my mind and in my heart.  

So "Dear Sean" just know that I read every word that you write and feel it with my soul.  My style is similar to yours, though not as good.  Maybe someday ^j^