christmas eve eve

Life has been kind of upside down around here lately.  LP and I are both unemployed except for her dashing, therefore, there is no stress in "getting ready for Christmas."  We live day by day on what she makes and the Lord has provided.  I remember the days when I worked every other Christmas and she pleaded with me as a child not to go.  It was a struggle to make it to every Christmas event while working.  I wish that I had that opportunity all over again as a retired person.

One of my friends and readers saw that we are feeding a stray that is, literally, skin and bones.  We haven't had the $$ to buy him dog food and she brought 44 lbs of high protein dog food this morning!  That will save the cat food for Rosie who grazes all day long when she's not sleeping or hunting.  Thank you Cathy!  Lauren and I were sitting in the living room the other day when we heard a big WHAM on the window.  It was a young bird who got knocked out from the hit.  We checked on him several times and he appeared to be dead except for head movement.  I think he was shaking it off!  Rosie was kept inside because well, you know.  Eventually little bird got on his feet and flew back to the family.  I don't know why, but that gave me hope and faith.  When we hit the wall ( or window )  sometimes we have to rest a bit and then shake it off to move forward.  

I now have a part time job to look forward to because I seriously need some structure.  Having a place to be at a certain time and get paid for it is exciting to me after several months of isolating and mourning Ms Reba.  We had such good times together in our year long tenure.  I have to say that she was the most charming client and friend that I have ever spent time with.  Her celebration of life is this Friday and I can assure you I will finally let loose with the tears.  I heard so many stories from her that included my parents and others who were their friends.  But I also heard about her younger years as a hard worker who had fun and became a beloved dental hygenist for many many years.  She was still working a lot when she was my age!

I also lost a dear friend with the passing of Lorna.  She suffered a lot and it was a blessing but very bittersweet.  She was like another motha' to me in spite of the fact that she was only 3 years older.  You know like "YOU need to....yadayada."  I listened to her advice and occasionally did what she suggested.  Most of the time I procrastinated!  Girl was a real dreamer.

It may be warm enough to sit on the porch with a puffy coat so I'll see y'all later.  Be blessed ^j^

 

things i've learned (in my old age)

I gotta warn you, this will be a pretty long list and rather wordy.  Everything I needed to know I did NOT learn in kindergarten....Well except for the nice stuff like love your neighbor and those who are different from you.  Be kind.  Be helpful and not mean.  Later in life I learned some lessons the hard way and learned from them.  That is valuable education right there.  Life skills.  I only wish that I had known 30 years ago what I know now.  Coulda'Shoulda' Woulda'.  So here they are in no particular order.  

1.  Own your power.  If you don't feel like being brave manifest that stuff.  There will always be somebody trying to further their agenda if you can be manipulated.  Stop that shit!  I'm not going to get into the specifics but, I've been there done there many times.

2.  Family is important.  That doesn't just apply to blood kin, but hold those close too.  I have brothers andcousins left ( plus one aunt ) who are related to me by blood, that I know of.  I know I know..family can be annoying, but you gotta' love them if you understand from whence they came.  That's the cool thing about having siblings and cousin.  We all have shared memories.  Millette can absolutely tell you that me and Debbie dressed up Tommy as Baby New Year at Gaga/s house. If I'm lying I'm dying.

3.  Nothing is forever.  That goes for good times as well as bad.  You may think that what's happening right now to you personally is huge but that will change.  There is a grieving process involved with letting go of things that hold us back.  Every time something changes the dynamics of our lives, we adapt...hopefully.  Learning to do that is a very valuable life skill.

4.  Pets are cool.  I have never NOT had a pet in my entire life except for when I was in college.  Dorms don't allow that!  I remember seeing a drunk farmer run over my beloved beagle Nosey when I was a little girl.  That taught me about when life sucks and death is hard to swallow. The scenario has been repeated over and over during my life as I continued to care for the least of these.

5.  Therapy is good.  I think each of us has to find a way to peace and there are so many ways to do that.  For me it is gardening and writing.  When I had a good camera there was photography.  Daddy and Mama called me Dick Flowers because I would creep over in the woods and take pictures. I could walk better back then,

6. God is good.  All the time.  We may not understand what the plan is but He does.  Like "every hair on your head" kind of good.  He gave us free will and we all know how that turns out.  When I try to control things instead of going with the flow, usually I fail, I can tell you exactly when I became a Christian and it was at DFUMC around Easter when Mark Locke put on a big production featuring Christ's walk on the Via Dolorosa.  Me and Daddy did that together many times.  

Today's Advent candle is lit for love ^j^ 

oberservations

I rang the bell for the Salvation Army today and noticed several things.  Everybody was in a hurry to get their shit done and get home.  It was cold but the ringers were allowed inside so that was good.  Kroger and Hobby Lobby do that.  Wallyworld?  Not so much.  The men were much more generous, especially the older ones.  Most of the women were on a mission and walked on by as I said Merry Christmas!  Our local soup kitchen is about 5K down from last year.  Lisa and her crew feed about 250 meals a day to the homeless.  It's a group effort and all volunteer.

So we have this dog hanging around who is starving to death slowly but surely.  We feed him cat food but that ain't gonna work for long.  He's purdy and needs a name and I am smooth out of 'em.  If it wasn't Christmas week I'd get in tTouch with rescue agencies and find him a home.  For now he gets cat food and leftovers.  Doesn't seem to mind much.  Dude just scarfs and runs to wherever.  

So what are ya'll doing for Christmas?  I don't have a clue except for breakfast at Hippies Corner Cafe.  Gaga's cheese grits are made and ready to bake at some point.  I try not to plan ahead but lerd.  Those things require assembly and whatnot!  

Lauren's plants have really spiffed up our living space.  We prolly need some plant food or something.  This propane heat is rough on all of us.  I have spent today making decisions about my life and vocation.  More later.  Love ya'll.  Mean it ^j^

happy holidays

I am a bit put out with all these career politicians dragging over a simple thing like "pass the freakin; bill.  One thing that I didn't like about it was that it gave all of them a nice pay raise.  And now they're fighting like children without a thought of what we the people are dealing with.  I learned from watching Frank Underwood what snakes people can become when there is power involved.  I have really never craved that...I don't want to be in charge.  Which, evidently the president elect, does not either.  Whatever :E: says.  Our country is in a very perilous and scary situation and we don't need the richest man in the world telling us to "suck it up, it'll get better!"

Today was quite cold and blustery.  I met my BFFs for lunch then went to talk to a woman about a job.  We shall see.  I rode shotgun with LP on a delivery before she took me home.  Lunch was fun as usual and nobody was in a hurry to be anywhere which is nice.  I don't know how that ever got started but it's had a long run!

This holiday season has been about making do with less and paying attention to the essentials.  There is nothing I could give Reaves more valuable than my time.  She has all of her material needs met and then some.  She is smart, thriving in school and quite sassy.  Watch out for that whine though.  She was sick this week and I could hear the pitifulness all over her voice.  Girl, please.  I feel your pain ;)

I've missed my church family the past two weeks but I sure didn't want to give 'em the epizootie.  Jesus would NOT like that.  I'm ringing the Salvation Army bell tomorrow so don't just keep walking.....dig into those pockets!  I'm dressed in a reindeer sweat shirt with an ugly Christmas sweater on top  Gotta conserve electricity ya' know.

Looks like nobody is getting their packages by Christmas because "shutdown" and "strike."  Things could be worse y'all.  Just be grateful we're still here even if the world hates us.  Oh, and keep the faith.  Always ^j^

hit me again

This morning I went to see my GP regarding some lab results.  We are figuring that I am B12 deficient because of my gut so I get shots once a month.  I think he appreciates the chance to treat somebody in the healthcare field because we kinda' sorta' know what's going on.  My folate was out of range so I asked about that too.  The B vitamins, 12 and 9, work together to put iron into the red blood cells.  Intrinsic factor in the stomach is a big part of it.  Considering what my gut is like it is "to be expected."  Same for folks with gastric bypass.  Live and learn.  The laboratory professional always wants to know how things work together.  It's amazing really, to consider all the different systems that run the body.  Coagulation is one that can go to hell in a handbasket quick resulting in blood and component transfusion.  

LP has transformed this hot mess of a house into a home with her decorator's touch.  Adding her plants to the living room and hanging lights gives it a kind of "witchy" feel that I like.  Her wife-in-law Kim kept them alive and even repotted  some.  Ir makes me so happy to see that family including her...and me.  Children deserve to be kept firmly in sight when conversations happen about their lives.  Kim also found rescues for both dogs and cats.  

We have this skin and bones dog that somebody dropped of I reckon.  I don't know where he stays most of the time, but he always shows up to eat in the late afternoon.  He won't cull nothing!  Yesterday he had cat food and chicken salad both within 30 seconds.  He then looked longingly in the door trying to get in but, nope.  We will work to find him a foster or forever home because he's really pretty....brindle.  Plus, that's what Jesus would do.  

Rose has a Siames boyfriend who comes around too but we don't feed him.  They just play all night which is cool because she's fixed, thanks to Paws to Care.  These volunteers amaze me with their dedication.  You gotta' LOVE animals to do that.

Job interview for me tomorrow.  Two strong leads for the roommate.  In the meantime she's doing the dash thing for day to day expenses.  Some folks are feeling generous around Christmas time.  That is a miracle in and of itself..

Stockings are hung by the chimney with care here.  Hope. Peace.Joy and faith^j^

it's not the same

I've been out crawling the yard picking pecans and missing my buddies Patty and Oscar.  For the past few years it has been a group effort.  Oscar boy died earlier this year and it's just been me and Carol so far.  Rain is heading in again so I tried to get 'em while I can.  Pecan season is usually pretty long here in the south because it doesn't freeze until November.  There has been many a January that I was out there getting the last of them.  

Today has been spent taking care of healthcare business.  My last b12 level was off the chart because I got an injection first.  Hmmm. I googled it and was told that it goes immediately into the bloodstream.  I have rescheduled several appointments for January when the co-pay will be a bit lower.  I'm just thankful to be alive in spite of the aches and pains.  

So, this is what happened.  I took about 35 lbs of my pecans to Pennington's and they wouldn't buy them because they were "too rough."  Alrighty then.  Merry Christmas to y'all too!  Jeffro said it was due to drought and stink bugs.  They looked good to me but..who am I?  I won't be wasting my time on that anymore, but pecan yoga was good exercise.  

A huge thunderstorm woke me up at sometime during the dark.  Rained like the dickens with lots of close up lightning and thunder but, the power didn't go out so that's all good.  Little blessings make me happy.  LP has 2 jobs in the works and I have an interview on Friday so we shall see how all that goes.  In the meantime she is door dashing so tip well folks!  Love ya.  Mean it ^j^

another day, another gun

What will it take to stop the violence at schools when students go crazy and decide to take out innocents along with themselves?  The gun nuts say it's a "mental health" problem.  No y'all.  It's a gun problem.  These shooters get their guns with a mission in mind.  Many of them are obtained illegally and under the radar.  Some of them have mental health problems but are able to get weapons anyway.  I have a seven year old granddaughter who has to do active shooter drills at her school.  Ever since Sandy Hook, I have been appalled at the lengths crazy people will go to kill themselves in the process of taking kids and teachers out. Today's shooter did just that.  

Mass shootings weren't a thing when I was a kid.  People had guns but used them in a responsible way to hunt game to defend themselves.  Fast forward to these days where everybody has access to one ( often from parents) and don't get help with their emotional problems because therapy is bad or some such bullshit.I have no answers because the majority of this country LOVES guns and their 2nd amendment rights.  And Jesus wept.

Y'all have a Merry Christmas and whatnot.  It really pains me to hear about kids "not having Christmas" meaning no gifts.  There will be no gifts for my family this year but we will celebrate the birth of baby Jesus anyway.  After all, it's about the manger and the gift of Christ not sweaters and shirts that will never be worn,  Keep the faith ^j^

epizootie

LP and I have both been sick for several weeks with some kind of crud.  She went to urgent care yesterday and the chest x-ray showed pneumonia.  Sooo...Our plans to go see Reaves' Christmas program turned into hanging out in the living room with Rosie the cat and church online again.  I hope God understands.

It's gloomy but quite warm with several days of rain in the forecast.  That doesn't bode well for my pecan picking.  I have about 20 lbs to sell and hoping to add to that.  It's not much but every little bit helps!

Bubba and I have a standing date on for Christmas breakfast out.  The past few years have been at Huddle House and we considered Waffle House this year UNTIL we found out that Hippie's Corner Cafe will be open.  We both love us some Casey Lou so I will make garlic cheese grits to go with the rest.  Of the women that I interviewed for SHE, Casey is the one who was most humble and appreciative about being featured.

I missed the party because....eppizootie.  I will go by the office this week and pick up a copy to add to the others that I have.  When Kathy Krone was writing for the SG she did a story about my family and our caregiving.  That was many years ago.  And this is today.

Once upon a time the blog fairy visited on Christmas Eve.  I was working that day and pulled up to the mailbox to find something that blew me away.  For months the fairy visited me with gifts and financial help.  I never did find out who it was because the postmarks were all over the map.  My mail carrier at the time was a big part of it.  I told him the story and he was amazed!

There are good people everywhere who care and I realize that.  When times get hard, expect nothing.  Miracles do happen.  As for me and mine, we need jobs ^j^

plan c

I tend to write about people who are near and dear to me, and some not so much.  I don't OUT people by using their names unless I know that they are cool with that.  Most folks are because they want their story to be shared.  I just about cried when I saw Casey Lou's post this morning with a copy of SHE magazine and her sister.  I won't begin to tell you what hardships they have endured but trust me.  They have been together all this time making Hippies Corner Cafe become a reality.

I was all prepared to take rotel cream cheese sausage balls to church tomorrow but plans change.  Bubba will get his share, LP and I will get ours and we shall drive to church in Jackson to see data baby sing about Baby Jesus.  That's what's up.

For those of you who have been praying for Dickey, Pam says he is doing quite well.  In a private room now away from the ICU constant noise.  Sweet sleep coming his way!  I am steady looking for a way to be informed outside of FB.  I don't trust Zuck in the new world order.  My prediction is that the Republican party will give him a few days (hopefully not) and act swiftly.  Surely there are conservative politicians who will recognize a dog and pony show and how it affects their bottom line.  The cabinet picks are bizarre by anyone's imagination.  Let us pray ^j^

PS  Bubba has been sending me recipes for rotel cream cheese sausage balls for months.  I made some last night and today and I have to say they are rich and yummy.  I used cheap sausage so almost set off the fire alarm but opened the doors.  It's raining now and LP is at the urgent care to get some treatment for whatever we have.  It's awful y'all!  Coughing and hacking and nose blowing out the wazoo.  

I rolled some pecans earlier before the rain started.  That made me think about Lorna's orchard in Tiptonville.  Her kids sent me a pic of all of us outside of Ellington Ha;; after her service.  Everybody had flowers, as she would want.  I am looking forward to some closure with Ms Reba.   Shit.Damn.Hell.Piss....Donald!  We watched the David Swift trial together as well as the Paris Olympics.  Every single person that I have worked for shared moments of history with me.  Me and Joy watched Jan 6th together and I tried not to freak her out but! Little slices of history become memories.  

Merry and bright here ^j^

introvert

In my old age, I have become one.  Back in the day I was a frequent public speaker and never missed a rat killing.  Now I find solace in being at home with the cat and nature.  I do enjoy the occasional small gathering with people who know me well, but put me in a group where I don't know anybody and I am looking at my phone to see what time it is.  I have become accustomed to being alone and actually like it.  Lauren and I joked that I needed to find a nice elderly rich guy with one foot in the grave and no pre-nup.  She knows me well!  I haven't had very good luck with men over the years so that colors my perspective.  The ones I fell for were either emotionally unavailable or true assholes.  Out of all of them, there were one or two who truly loved and appreciated me.  It's rare to find that.  I do, however, have a lot of friends who love me big time and for that I am grateful.  Male and female alike!

I suppose one of the reasons for my solitude is that I just don't care about impressing people anymore.  I know my worth and don't need validation from others.  I would rather sit with a friend and have a long unscripted conversation about life.  My poor mama about killed herself being a people pleaser and I followed in her footsteps for many years.  Now, I literally do not care.  People can be really mean, especially on social media.  One nasty comment and somebody comes unglued.  Not me.  I just keep scrolling.

The Christmas season is hard for so very many who are facing their "firsts without" and even those of us who are up into the higher years of missing family and friends.  I don't think that a lot of people realize that because it's all about rush rush rush to make it all perfect.  That doesn't happen here either.  It will get done on time, whatever that may be.  As my editor friend can tell you, I am a procrastinating fool but I do manage to come through with something.  This year I had four stories to do and my laptop died right in the middle of it while I was staying with Ms. Reba.  My friend Jay gave me one that he had and I was back online but couldn't figure out how to send the docs to her.  Sooooo./I copied and pasted to email and she did the rest.  Bless you my child.

I am usually sound asleep by 8PM and don't even care that I am missing something.  The world will continue to twirl and I'll look it up in the morning.  And if I die before I wake, there is somebody here to find me.  It is very comforting having LP here. We share a phone and car for her to dash but there are some good prospects.  The most interesting job posting lately was "Hebrew interpreter."

One of my favorite writers got put in FB jail and has changed his method of reaching folks through email.  The Blogess does that too.  Their followers receive their content without the internet police messing with you.  After my friend's heartfelt post about his mother's death was removed, his sister posted for him.  Why would you pick something like THAT to censor?  Anyway, that's just rude.  Maybe they are trying to piss users off so they'll stop using their "free" ad filled service to see somebody's dinner, but they always look really good. Especially when Pam Tinkle cooks for Dickey!  Y'all hang in there down at the VA ^j^

from the back burner

If you know, you know.  My mother was a fantastic cook and writer whose dream was to publish a cookbook containing many recipes from the Dyersburg Mirror paper where she worked.  Thanks to Joe Wood and Daddy, that dream came true and the proceeds went to the Dyer County Fair. And so, the legend was created in a back alley print shop.  

I have a hand crafted art piece made by Rachel Townsend that will grace the cover of the new book.  Mama herself xed  out a whole lot of dishes because really?  Who wants cooked possum or squirrel stew?  Well, I know there are some but not us.  Lauren and I discussed doing a podcast to boost interest in this publication.  Neither one of us know anything about podcasting but we can learn.  Also with AI.  

I  "noticed" that Trump is Time's person of the year.  I'm not really a fan of his but he is the one who had the most influence on our country this year.  Perhaps he will stop with the hating and do something nice for the USA.  I got my SS statement for the next year and I got a 40 buck raise what with Medicare going up.  And for this I went to college?  Sheesh.

I rolled pecans for a bit and got a lot of leaves and trash.  That means you have to sort and pitch on the steps before you fill the bag to sell.  They get really mad when those hulls jack up the cracker.  Not pretty.  

My friend Dickey is doing amazingly well following a whipple for pancreatic cancer.  His wifey Pam gave me some Amish bread starter which is due today for future things.  I'll have to dig out the instructions and bake accordingly.

If y'all are feeling generous I know a girl who is having a Christmas party for her clients and needs money for pizza.  PM me if you are interested.  And also, keep the faith ^j^ 

rude awakening

I went to the chicken store this morning to get some gas.  The pump I chose kept giving me error messages so I moved to another one.  When I got home I discovered that there was a 75 dollar charge for my 20 bucks worth of gas.  On my lerd!  I hopped my butt back into the car and drove back up there, but by the time I arrived it had been corrected.  This is the first time that has ever happened so I was quite confused.  Evidently it is a wide spread method used by convenience stores to verify you have money before you fuel up.  Lesson learned the hard way.

It's still cold and damp so pecans are out there getting eaten by squirrels and such.  A few days of sun should fix all that.  I desperately need the money from this crop to buy 'dat baby something for Christmas.  Not a lot, but something.  Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care but still no tree.  We may just do it the old fashioned way and put it up on Christmas Eve.  We ain't done yet with the cleaning and organizing but it's looking 100% better.  I just folded and separated some clothes that have been laying on a chair in my bedroom for a week.  Underneath is a pile of summer t shirts to hide away until next May.  The very LAST load of laundry from this adventure is now drying.  It's been a group effort for sure.  

I pray that my friend Dickey Tinkle survives and thrives following his surgery today.  Prayers up people!  Pancreatic cancer is serious stuff.  One of the possibilities post whipple is that you become diabetic because the insulin producing organ is missing.  That opens up a whole 'nother can of worms, but at least you are alive.  I have known and loved many a diabetic in my day and it's a challenge to deal with a coworker when the sugar hits bottom.  Some had pumps, others just ate what they wanted and tried to gauge the insulin.  That normally ended in head banging and whatnot.  Oone of my lab friends died a few months ago....brittle diabetic.  When her sister arrived at the house she found piles and piles of Little Debbie cakes.  You gotta' wanna'.

That manger is still on my mind Mary Beth.  I laughed when you thought you might help to carry it and by golly it was little!  It should be, because it's baby size.  Not at all like that cattle trough a few weeks ago.  You didn't think I was listening did ya'?  One of my favorite memories is of my late Daddy coming in for Christmas breakfast in his coveralls after birthing calves.  Sometimes there were chains and sometimes the cows just did their own thing.  It amazed me how they all stuck together and watched over each other.  There are coyotes out there that would totally eat a baby.  Ewwwww.

Here's my take on the Italian sounding guy.  Was it him?  DNA will tell..  Ghost guns?  You can't fix crazy plus smart and privileged.  Sounds to me like he has daddy and momma issues.  Oh, and grandpa.  I am not judging but I doubt seriously that Marconi of whatever his name is has EVER gone without appropriate medical care.  Rich people don't.  My career as a healthcare provider began in August of the year that I graduated from UT Memphis.  It was a typical core lab for what that meant at the time.  Some poor schmuch on call had to get up and save people.  We got your H and  H and how many units you need.  I have seen a lot of blood wasted because of no chain of command.  It must be stored under precise conditions and returned to the blood bank if not used.  Like right after the procedure.  

I remember when autologous donations became a thing, mostly due to ortho procedures.  It was a total pain in the butt and not really necessary because ummm...do you have a clue how much that costs?  Becaue you don't trust the donor population and the testing that is performed on every single component?  Puleeeeze.  After RFK takes over, you might need to worry.

I'm glad I got out of the rat race when I did.  At the time, I had no other choice.  My license was retired and I began to use my skills in other ways.  Most folks want somebody with medical experience to care for their loved ones.  There is so much that goes along with being in charge of another person.  I have never taken it lightly.  A family with the best interest of their loved one will do that.  

I have a resume.  Y'all know it by heart.  Spread the word ^j^

christmas present

Back in the day I was your usual Christmas consumer and shopped ( usually at the last minute ) for my entire family.  It was a pointless endeavor because they all had everything they needed and I went into debt.  I remember, as child and adult, going to two or more houses for gift opening which totally wears out kids and adults too.   It's like herding cats on Christmas day with children.  I miss that in a way but I also am glad to be able to spend one day with my close family expecting nothing but fellowship and the spirit of the season.  

I don't have the funds to do all that retail stuff right now and I'm okay with that.  It was mostly done out of obligation anyway, not about the manger at all.  This year that tiny little manger from the Christmas room at DFUMC is front and center.  My family nativity scene is set up on the coffee table.  Reaves calls it "the Jesus set" and has arranged it for several years now.  Lauren did it in her place for 2024.  Still no tree.  I'm okay with that too!

I had been hearing a lot about guitarist Billy Strings from my friends and never listened to his music until yesterday.  I'm ashamed to say that I waited so long!  His music is powerful and what I grew up on.  Side note:  He lived in Traverse City MI at one time which is where corporate lives.  I would have never heard of it otherwise.

The pecans are wet and I don't feel like layin' them all out on towels to dry so I will wait for the sun to do its' job. Thank goodness I found my roller under a pile of leaves.  I tried crawling on Saturday and it wasn't pretty!

Y'all be merry and bright ^j^

peace

Since it's the second Sunday of Advent, maybe we should all put aside our differences and concentrate on the gift that was Baby Jesus.  I believe that He died for my sins and that was a huge sacrifice.  I also believe that there is one true God who doesn't discriminate against the ones who believe otherwise. 

Currently on Pecan Lane, etc we have a heavy mist and it looks like a horror movie out there.  Damp and cold, y'all.  I attended FUMC of D'burg online today in my jammies.  Sleep came more quickly last night because I am using the old body to actually GET tired.  The cold air outside also helps me breathe.  I know I'm rambling.  That's what writers do when they're bored.  

I have to say that I have found quite a few writers over the years that I absolutely followed like a demon.  Clyde Edgerton was one.  His stories of rural southern life hit me in the heart.  Marti Ann introduced me to him at the book festival in Nashville many years ago.  I also met Larry Brown there who was drunk on his ass at the session.  He wrote a book called "Joe" which was pretty dark.  I think he died early.

Folks are dyin' left and right.  Daddy said it would be that way when you get old.  I miss he and Mama during the Christmas season because they loved it so.  It was always a huge production involving many extension cords.  This little red cabin was all dressed up every year!

It is not red anymore but the spirit is alive.  Y'all thank God for your blessings ^j^

dashing through the cold

Lauren and I are ride and phone sharing when she door dashes.  Her phone is not compatible with the app so she uses mine.  If you try to call me and get no answer, that's probably why.  It is a day to day survival strategy for us until she lands a job.  I filled up with gas at Lake Road Amoco and had the antifreeze and tires checked.  Cody said I'm good unless it gets to minus 30.  We will, however, need an oil change like soon.  Also faucets will be dripping tonight.  

My friends Pam and Dickey Tinkle gave me some Amish friendship bread starter which was delivered this morning without a hitch.  He was picking up groceries at Wallyworld so I parked and waited for him to come out of the store from buying antifreeze.  Me and Pam were texting back and forth and I cruised on over to spot number one for the handover.  He is facing a very serious surgery next week so y'all keep them in prayer.  The starter came to Pam from Therese Warmath who is also a long time friend of mine.  I love it when that happens!

The pecans are all just waiting to be picked up on a warm(er) day which looks like Saturday.  That should bring in a little extra income as well.   Gotta' do what you gotta' do.  They will also be Christmas presents!  In my opinion, that's what giving is all about.

Y'all stay warn and keep the faith ^j^

you need to.....

I was privileged to spend the day with family and friends of my late friend Lorna.  I know some of them better than others, but all of them through her pictures and life stories.  She loved her family more than life itself, and never gave up even when things looked bleak.  The celebration of her life was held at Ellington Hall which is a fantastic venue for all sorts of gatherings.  The assembly hall is next to the newly remodeled museum that was named after her grandfather RC Donaldson.  I have not been there since the days when we took kids to see the snakes and whatnot and I was pleasantly surprised to find a place packed with the history of Reelfoot Lake.  If you don't know the history of how that lake was formed, google it.  We spent a lot of time with the manager of the facility as she told about future plans and dreams for the state park located there.  Girl knows her stuff!  

After that we all met up again to break things down and head toward our respective homes.  That time was most precious to me.  I watched as her great grandchildren played and played as we  elders divided up flowers to take home.  I have two vases billed with fresh flowers to remind me of our friendship.  Because of my vision I was having trouble seeing the pictures but Ann pointed me out to myself when I rolled around on the collage. It was fascinating to see her as a younger woman, and a very beautiful one at that.  She led an exciting life and was a pioneer in the organic farming community along with her husband John.  

With Ann at the wheel the trip to Tiptonville went quickly and we noticed a bunch of solar panels in the works.  We wondered why so many people are against that.  She  brought me two pair of Doc Martin boots for Reaves that her g'daughter had outgrown which will tickle Lizzie to death.  One pair is red!

LP is dashing to earn us some money because neither of us has a job yet but, all things in time.  The holiday season is not a good time to be job hunting.  We still have no tree up.  I would settle for a Snoopy tree actually.  The whole "drag it down and put it up" thing sort of wears me out now.  A lot of my Christmas decor from last year is still laying around down here because I didn't want to climb the steps to put it up.  There is often method in my madness.  Lauren is an excellent organizer and has this place lookin' good after only 2 weeks.  For that, I am thankful.  What I need is more storage space but, no.  We will make do.  

Hug your people and tell them you love them.  Church hugs are nice but the full on one that lasts 20 seconds is the best.  According to my friend Gaylene, that releases the oxytocin.  Love y'all.....mean it ^j^

black friday

No, I didn't go shopping because I'm broke.  I did however go across the river with a friend who shall remain nameless to visit a business in Missouri.  I was in awe!  We stood in line with other customers in the cold wind waiting for the store to open up.  Twenty minutes over, thirty in the store, twenty minutes back.  Easy peasy.  There is a sink full of dirty dishes soaking in Dawn waiting to be washed and put in the dishwasher for yet another wash.  A whole lot of work for a 30 minute meal.  Just saying.  We have leftovers though so that's cool.  LP made her famous homemade mac and cheese to go with turkey, dressing, black eyed peas, cream cheese sweet corn and deviled eggs.  It was Bubba approved.'

It is now four days later....Cyber Monday.  Lauren has some kind of cold from hell ( hopefully not Covid again ) and it is cold AF.  I talked to propane guy today to explain the money situation and he is overwhelmed with calls.  LP has been door dashing and scheduling job interviews but we are flat broke.  Friends have helped us to get by,  I remember back in the day when it was a treat to put up the tree.  Now, it's a chore just to get to the attic to see if it's there!  The pecans are steady dropping and on the first 50 degree day I'll be out there rolling like a demon.  Bubba is bringing me a leaf blower because raking all those leaves is a chore.  

Gas is cheaper than I've seen it in awhile which is a blessing.  Eggs are still high but that's the fault of avian flu.  And so everybody and their mama is squawking about Hunter Biden's pardon.  Umm. Excuse me? I know two wrongs don't make a right but seriously.  That is so hypocritical.  Yes, Mr. President.  You should have, for the good of this country, stepped down long ago.  There were capable people to do the campaign if given enough notice.  I am a Dem, but very disappointed with the way the campaign went.  Six months is not enough time, period.  Today's rant is over.

So now that I have that out of my brain, I carry on.  Tomorrow is my friend Lorna's celebration of life.  Ann and I are going together to honor our girl.  Ms Rebas will more than likely be between Christmas and New Year's.  There are very few events that I get excited about these days, but the reveal party for SHE Magazine is one of them.  I did a handful of interviews and a bit of writing because my editor is quite understanding.  And also a superhuman!  The most important aspect of writing for that particular publication is that I get to meet new people and also find out more about the ones I already know.  Small business owners like Beebee Love and Casey Lou are always honored to be featured.  It takes women empowering women with their spirit and guts to give someone a reason to believe in themselves and their mission.  

Reaves drew a picture of her and Mama in pastels under a rainbow.  Art is her therapy, just like it has been her mothers.  If you want to make that kid happy, give her a canvas!  She tried to crochet and ended up with one long lasso before she gave up.  I don't think even I could crochet because I can't see.  Plus I don't sit still.

Let us pray I don't get the epizootie ^j^

'twas the day before thanksgiving

Which means I am making deviled eggs also known as dressed or "suit" eggs which was my sister in law's nickname for the labor intensive delicious must have Thanksgiving side.  Also Easter.  Lauren will be making homemade mac and cheese to go with dressing, turkey and hen and green bean casserole.  I am fighting with Grammarly as I type because I haven't had time to learn how to use it.

This past week has been busy.  My daughter/babygirl got here last Thursday which was good timing because I was still reeling over Lorna's death.  She has since then transformed this old house from an unorganized hot mess to a home.  She was here for the visit from the state person who assists with vision problems.  Evidently my last checkup at the retina specialist was enough for me to qualify.  She was quite helpful and I have some benefits coming following our meeting.  I was quite impressed.  I get daily updates on the health of my friends and family who are dealing with much more than me.  Lorna's celebration of life will be next week in, of course, Tiptonville, at Ellington Hall.  Right there with RC nearby!

Money is tight around here but I feel sure that LP will  I l get a job soon.  Already has several interviews.  We work well together as roommates because she is teaching me how to sit down and enjoy life.  I reckon that little "vacay" was worth it.  She and Rosie are buds again and have a kind of snuggly relationship.  That gets the cat off of my bed at night....lol.  

I am so thankful for so many things in no particular order.  Being above ground after a very serious near death experience.  My church family rates right on up there along with the blood relatives and extended ones.  Ya' see, family is not always blood kin.  The people who choose us as friends and show up when times are hard are angels.  Reeces dark chocolate thin.  Heck, anything chocolate without nuts.  Boundaries in relationships.  The God given ability to speak my mind without being disrespectful.  Nature is a heavenly gift to us.  Sometimes it's ugly but that's how it rolls, especially in these days of climate change with big denial in our country.  

I won't start on 45 because it depresses me.  These cabinet picks are atrocious!  Fron this point on he shall just a number and something to be endured.  That he missed the deadline is pretty shitty in my opinion.  What a passive aggressive move.  But then, narcissists are good at that.  They want it to be all about them all the time.  Ummm....that ain't real life y'all.  As a peon I appeal to all of the other peons to not take this lying down.  I'm sure this post is already tagged as "anti" something.."  Whatever,

Rosie has brought us two mice presents from the yard so we have to walk carefully not to step on the dead Mr. Jingles laying around.  She's so proud of her hunting skills, bless her heart.  The patch of greens across the road has been picked to death prior to the coming hard freeze.  After that, it's pecan season, right Patty?

My prayer during this season is one of gratitude and faithfulness.  Big Ernie always comes through ^j^

remembering

I am sitting here listening to the wind howl and the pecans hitting the tin roof thinking about two very special women in my life.  Once is my mother Janice Stafford who was born on this day in 1933.  Mama was my hero and always proud of me whatever I did.  I am making her dressing recipe for Thanksgiving that she inherited from her mother in law Lottie.  Mama was the hostess with the mostest always and foremost.  Everybody loved her and admired her skills that included party planning and writing.  She managed to make every occasion special complete with holiday themed napkins, plates and table decorations.  I wish I could say that I inherited her organizational skills, but no.  I do, however, look just like her!

My dear friend Lorna Donaldson went to heaven last night surrounded by her family.  I first met her some 20 or so years ago and we became soul sisters immediately.  We shared a love of nature and growing things and clung to each other during hard times.  I had given her my daddy's ag books some time before he died, and she lit a candle on them as he was passing over.  I knew when I saw that beautiful full moon that her time was near because every time I have lost someone dear to me, it was preceded by a full moon and a deer.  She was a pioneer in the field of organic farming like her father and taught many folks all over the country how to straw bale garden and grow food free of pesticides.  She was never quite the same after the death of her daughter Hazen and I am so happy to think about their heavenly reunion.  I'll bet there's some serious joy going on.

I say "I love you" a lot.  It makes some people uncomfortable but that's just who I am because I realize that the chance that I have to say it in person may be the last.  You just never know.  

As always, keep the faith ^j^

first best friend

Well..word has it that Musk is pissing off the transition team and refuses to leave Mar-A-Lago but who knows what is true at this point because it's all so bizarre.  One thing that really puzzles me is how raising tariffs and expelling immigrants will help the economy.  Both moves will increase the cost of goods to us in different ways which is something that Republicans promised to "fix."  Maybe I just don't understand economics but it seems pretty simple to me.  As it is I can't afford many groceries and it the prices rise?  

I visited my GP this morning for a couple of injections and a catch up on needed meds.  I do so love me a steroid shot when the allergies are bad and they certainly are.  The weather is so wonky that I've had the AC on because the gas logs are running and it's 75 degrees in here.  I'm ready for a hard freeze to kill all the pesky stuff floating around.  That is when I breathe best!

My iron skillet went missing so I borrowed one from Carol to make the cornbread for dressing.  The pecans are beginning to fall but not full force.  The trees still have leaves so they will have to drop first and then a big wind and frost will possibly finish it off.  

Y'all be faithful ^j^

cancer sucks

My dear friend is trying her best to go to Jesus but it's hard.  She has cancer everywhere and is taking her time but that doesn't surprise me.  Girl is a fighter, for sure.  She has been a mentor to me since we first met and I have come to love her family as well.  That pecan orchard in Tiptonville holds many memories for all of us.  Dying is an active process and the end is not always pretty unless caregivers are acutely aware of the signs.  I have cried for her, burned sage and otherwise held space for her the past week or so since we went on deathwatch.  I pray that she does not suffer needlessly.  That is the whole point of hospice.

I am currently about as broke as I've been in years because I don't have a job right now.  SS barely covers the basic expenses and now the folks are saying they are gonna' cut it.  I am truly alarmed with Trump's agenda and his cabinet picks.  This is why I avoid the news.  One thing that really hurt me bad is that my transmission went out this past year.  5K being paid out at 166 per month for 3 years.  That was not in my budget, nor was the flat tire this week.  At 69, I still work when I have a job.  Sitting is kind of random and depends on who needs you when.  If you are devoted to one client, you must honor that commitment even if others need you.  I posted yesterday about what I do that includes "light housekeeping."  Somebody messaged me and wanted me to clean their house!  Gurl...I have trouble keeping my own house clean and I'm too old for that.  

My current view above the laptop is people STILL picking greens across the road.  First freeze is coming soon so you gotta' get 'em before they die.  I reckon everybody and their mama wants some for Thanksgiving.  I'll just take a green bean casserole along with my turkey, dressing and deviled eggs.  That should be plenty for the 3 of us.  We have had Thanksgiving dinner in this old house for many many years, usually cooked up on the hill and brought down here.  The last time my parents tried to make sweet potato casserole it ended up all over the kitchen walls!  I don't like that anyway  but Daddy did.  The year before I moved into this cabin we setup a metal table and yard chairs in the living room.....Me, Bubba, Lauren and Reaves.  There is a picture somewhere.  

I miss purple hull peas. You can't find them anywhere around here.  When all the immigrants get deported Pictsweet will go out of business because, well.  You know they are the ones who work hard at jobs that Americans' won't take.  I owe a lot of people a lot of money and will pay them when I am able.  They all know that.  There is propane guy and the pharmacy and the bank loan for the transmission.  Sometimes I feel like I should just get a bike and do good like Sylvester.

Y'all excuse me for rambling.  Keep the faith ^j^

gray days

November is full of 'em.  No matter how unpredictable the weather gets, you can count on Novemblah to be just, blah.  The time changes and this year there was an election which, if you are a progressive, was pretty disturbing.  I have not whined or cried or bitched about it, but a lot of people are freaking out over another Trump presidency.  My answer to that is simple, I just don't watch the news.  I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means.  But, I still can't believe that Harris lost by such a big margin.  I read enough online to know that all of the work that has been done over the past four years to right the wrongs is for nothing.  He will pardon himself, the Jan 6th rioters, and anybody else who loves his trash talk.  Of course the outgoing administration is giving him the full transition treatment as he meets with President Biden today.  He did not give Biden that courtesy and began yelling and screaming about how the election was stolen.  Was this one?  Who knows anymore.  

So transition to me.  I never expected to be THIS old and navigating life by myself.  When I was younger I believed that I would grow old with someone who truly loved me and would be a partner until the end.  That never happened for me.  I was married and had a daughter and she had a daughter too.  I adore them both but I fear for the way of the world as they age.  I knew the best of both worlds.  As a member of a veritable "Cleaver" family I was insulated from much of the evil in this world.  Even so, I did two years of hard therapy in my 30s to find myself as an adult.  I remember my mother asking me "What did we do wrong?"  Nothing Mama.  You guys did the best you could with what you had.  You taught me manners, respect, honesty and a love of God.  I learned to cook well and enjoy growing things.  My childhood was very inclusive and I never heard you or Daddy use racial slurs because we were a mixed community and loved all folks, regardless of skin color or religious beliefs.  

When I was a senior at Dyersburg High School I watched the Nixon impeachment and the passage of abortion rights.  That was 51 years ago and we have gone backwards since then as a country.  How did people get so mean and self centered?  I suppose it is biblical and has "always been thus and so."  That's what Daddy would say.  Billy Yates said "Leave room for the spirit to work" and "This too shall pass."  I look to these elders for faith in these gray days.  Keep the faith ^j^

alrighty then

I live on a road with a scrapyard 1 mile from the house.  As you can imagine, it is a hot mess trying to get in and out to the by-pass what with vehicles out in the road waiting to go in plus all their crap that gets dropped for us to run over.  I cannot count the number of times I have had tires patched or plugged because of picking up screws and such just driving down the road.  The business is within the Dyersburg city limits and on the 

way to the municipal golf course.  It happened again today and I took the screw and receipt to the (new) owner.  There had been a gentleman's agreement with the previous owner that he would pay for tire repair caused by his business.  New owner said that agreement was not valid after the sale.  Hmm.  Way to make friends in the neighborhood dude.  I will follow up with a complaint to the city which has been done time and time again.  

I am remembering my Daddy, a USAF veteran along with all others past and present.  Thank you all for your service to our country.  Next week is my mother's birthday in heaven.  She will be 91 and I miss her every day.  She was the ultimate southern lady with a quick wit and a big heart.  I will always remember the big ass pin that was stuck on the bulletin board by the island where they ate.  "I am not dead yet" it exclaimed.

You all know how I feel about the election.  It has taken me a week to come to terms with the reality of it.  As a Christian, my choice is to pray for our country and the future leadership.  The Bible is full of tales where people disobeyed God and he smacked 'em down big time.  Big Ernie is in charge of all of it, and there is a reason for every season ^j^

tis the season

Against all odds it looks like we will have pecans for the third year in a row.  They have been smacking the tin roof like little bombs since the wind has been up.  The front one?  Not so much.  But that one by the back deck is loaded.  Probably not enough to make a million but enough for holiday needs and for Patty and me to get our fix or rolling and crawling.  It will be cold when they all come down but that is not unusual.  

I'm taking a break from the news because it is stressing me out.  I have other fish to fry and things to focus my energy on.  My family is in crisis and I'll just focus on that and not on who is going to be POTUS.  Self preservation, it you will.  

Keep the faith and remember who you are ^j^

red state reflections

Well folks, today is the day we've all been waiting for.  The weather here is pretty scary, high winds and storms coming.  Anybody who doesn't vote before 2PM will likely get soaked.  My vote was cast on day 2 of early voting because that's how I roll.  I chose blue on all three choices, though I know that in Tennessee that is not the norm.  Even so, my vote counts in the long run.  My home church is having a drop in prayer vigil today because, honestly?  There is a lot at stake here.  Democracy is the main thing.  I have heard all the jabber from Trump supporters and listened to his hate filled rallies.  And I just don't get it.  It is a very close race and if Harris wins, there will no doubt be more of the same as in 2020.  

Much of the talk about this election has centered on womens' rights and separation of church and state.  Had the Republican party chosen a candidate besides DJT, I would have given some consideration to that.  The man is a trainwreck filled with anger who thrives on the attention that his supporters give to him.  Unless you believe the conspiracy theory that George Soros bused in people on Jan 6, it should be clear what his agenda is.  Violence is key.  So is a lack of respect for the process of electing a president.  I watched that whole thing unfold with my late friend Joy and it chilled me to the bone.  I also watched a lot of the hearings led by Liz Cheney who is a Republican.  My respect for her is huge.  Many people who were big shakers and movers during the Trump administration have come out with stern warnings about another presidency for him and our country.  If you have watched The Handmaids Tale, you know how I feel.  I may just move to Canada if he wins.  

We, as a country, have lost the respect of the global community because of all this "crap."  The economy?  Not booming but maintaining.  The stock market?  Doing well.  Inflation is rampant and that is not the fault of our president.  One Trump supporter remarked to me that he wants lower gas prices and interest rates like during the Trump years.  Ummm. Okay then.  But what about wars?  I distinctly remember when Dubya and Cheney started one in Iraq and Afghanistan that killed thousands of our military and gave a whole of the rest of them PTSD and other health problems.  War is hell.  I have never believed that we as a country should be involved in the wars of other countries.  It always ends badly with a lot of money spent and a lot of lives affected here and abroad.  That is their business, not ours.  If national security is at risk, we should take care of our own.  

My life is very complicated on a lot of different levels right now.  While you are praying for the country, keep me in mind.  I expect a lot of trolling by conservatives who like to have the last word.  So be it.  I stick to my convictions and beliefs ^j^

the adventures of gobo and ava, and also roellen

About a year ago my daughter Lauren was out door dashing in the Bells area with 2 kids in tow.  Lo and behold they saw two dogs running in the middle of highway 412.  She stopped and picked them up to haul them back to her house.  Little did she know at the time that their owner had been murdered in front of them by her husband.  Domestic abuse about two blocks away.  After they returned to Jackson, she began to piece together the details after their owner's body was found in the back seat of the car while her killer husband chilled in the house.  Needless to say, he is gone for a very long time.  The doggos, however, have lived with Lauren since then. Reaves and her brother loved them like crazy.  They lived inside and she faithfully took them for walks several times a day, scooping up Ava's giant poops with plastic bags.  She received some very generous help from the victim's family and rescue agencies but it just wasn't enough to care for two senior dogs.  Ava is a 130 llb black lab and Gobo is an Australian heeler.

As things happen, Lauren had to leave her home for treatment and the dogs were up for grabs.  They had already been through soooo much losing their beloved owner ( who was probably killed in front of them.  Both dogs were behind on meds, especially Ava who has a skin condition that causes her to itch terribly.  Sarah Kodad is one of those tireless souls who does rescue and foster placement and Lauren talked to her the day before she left.  Sarah sprang into action and found a temporary foster for them in Dickson until she could find transport for them to their next landing place in Hendersonville. Kim Storey Pugh took them to Dickson. My friend Patti called yesterday out of the blue to tell me that SHE was their transport to the next spot.  She lives in Murfreesboro so it was about an hour away to each place.  That is four hours of her time as a volunteer at her expense.   She said They slept the entire way to Hendersonville....exhausted from the displacement.  Sarah shared with me today that Gobo will have to be completely shaved due to matting from no grooming. The foster that has them now needs food for the two big eaters.  They will have a permanent home early next year but until then they are being cared for by kind souls who love animals and do the next right thing.  

I must say this, Paisha is smiling from heaven at all the love and care her babies are being shown.  I see a great big God at work here in more ways than one.  And I love it when that happens!  Sometimes we don't realize that God is at work until after the fact.  Sometimes it's immediate.  If you care to help with these two doggos, I have shared Sarah's FB post on my page asking for assistance with food.  If you have the means, please donate.  They deserve a good and happy life in their senior years.  

Many of you remember my two week foster of Roellen who turned out to be way too much for this old gal.  Before I ever got her, the local humane society gave me a 50 lb bag of dog food for her.  I delivered it to her new owner this week and Lori told me that she is living her best life where she can run in the country ( in circles ) and be a shop dog.  She rides with Lori's husband and son to pick up parts and greets customers at their shop.  Roe is a young dog with lots of energy and lived on the streets until Ann Dedmon and Shari Tidwell took her pregnant self in so that she could safely deliver the puppies, have them placed, and found her a forever home.  

Thank you all for caring.  Keep the faith ^j^

squirrel!

My attention span is very short, and has been for a long time.  I tend to wander around and do things half ass .  For example, I am currently watching Hillbilly Elegy and cleaning house while blogging.  It's how I roll.  Nothing much ever gets done unless I'm on a mission and today is not that day.  So much has happened in the past week that I can't really wrap my mind around it.  There will be a trip to Jackson next week to gather things up and return them to the homestead, once again.  Reaves is at Soberstock for day 2 of her depiction of Wednesday Addams, hand and braids and all.  Last night she went to her school fall festival.  Soberstock is a yearly event in the recovery community of Jackson.  I remember when she was just a newborn and I was there keeping her.  I could hear the band playing over at the nearby college for a football game as she swang in the little pink motorized thing that Julia gave her.  Soberstock was going on then but I didn't really realize what it was.  Now I do, seven years later.

I got 4 out of 5 stories done for She Magazine which is amazing considering the fact that I can't see well and I'm working on a very small computer.  As for Hillbilly Elegy, it ain't enough to convince me to vote for Trump.  The owner of the farm here returned to Traverse City MI yesterday about the time that Trump arrived, but probably earlier since DJT was 3 hours late.  And God bless Texas.

I will be in and out for awhile.  I had a very nice gig this past week with an old friend and we got caught up on every little thing plus ate breakfast every day.  The most important meal!  Surprisingly we hooked up with another old friend from CA who was in town for a couple of days and we had a great time at Cracker Barrel oohing and ahhing over the pretties in the gift shop.  Not that I can afford any of that.  Window shopping is cool.  Elizabeth bought a couple of Christmas gifts for friends while I sat outside soaking up the last warm day.  That's what those rockers are for.

Y'all be faithful and remember who you are ^j^

seriously?

Everybody is so excited to vote that there were zero parking spots in downtown D'burg yesterday.  I managed to snag a spot today and get in and out in 10 minutes then ate breakfast at Dave's.  They told me yesterday was WILD and it looks like today will be the same.  There are signs saying "no campaigning beyond this point" yet I saw a big ass truck parked right in front to the office with a huge Trump thing on the back.  Hmmm.  I seriously don't respect people who don't have their minds made up before they show up and are swayed by that kind of thing.  If you don't know who to vote for, don't go.  Research it and find a candidate with which you have common ground on the issues.  This election year has been one for the history books.  Enough said.

I am a writer and I am struggling right now.  Not with inspiration or lack of interest but with failing eyesight and lack of proper equipment.  I am currently using a Chromebook that was given to me by my friend Jay a few months ago.  My eye doctor has declared me eligible for state assistance with improved options for  vision impaired users.  Nothing so far.  When my mom developed macular degeneration in her 70s she got a keyboard that had yellow keys which are much easier to see than the black with white.  I was at the State Gazette today and noticed that one staff member had a keyboard with white keys and black letters.  They were BIG keys too.  That is what I need. Maybe my readers would chip in for something more user friendly.  Or not.  Times are hard and nobody has money for a GoFundMe.

I went to the doc yesterday for the 2nd time in a week and he seemed to be a bit outdone with me.  I don't blame him.  He's younger than me and way overworked in a system where everything changes on a dime and he has to watch his ass on everything.  I got a steroid shot which helped and a Zpack for the URI.  Plus some cough medicine.  I feel better today except for the nagging pain in my scalp which is uh...occipital neuralgia??  It woke me up last night along with leg cramps because I can't afford PT co-pay anymore.  But I digress.  Life is good on so many levels.  

historic day

The Dyer County courthouse has been undergoing renovation for many months now.  I don't normally show up there and have been dodging the equipment while driving through downtown.  Lucky me got pulled for jury duty beginning September 2nd through today.  Panel C.  We have only been called twice and the first time I didn't get picked.  Today was supposed to be a trial so I headed out early to eat breakfast at Dave's before 9.  They were closed!  Probably because of fall break.  Anyway, I wasn't about to go back home so I sat on the ledge out in front waiting for the doors to open at the courthouse.  I was scrolling through my phone when the judge approached and said "Don't you have anything to do?"  I explained about Dave's and he let me in since it was business hours.

Many of panel C were not present for roll call by TJ.  I noticed that there was no defendant at that table but brushed it off.  Once court was in session, we were told that there was good news and bad news.  The good news was that the case did not require a jury and we were free to go.  The BAD news was that we had to take the elevator down ( or the back steps.)  I chose the elevator.  I almost fell down the steps last time I was there.  

What made it historic is that it was the last time a jury pool would be assembled in that courtroom as we know it.  Beginning tomorrow the entire thing will be gutted as part of restoration and the coming jury pools will report to the temporary courthouse near the fairgrounds at a property bought by the county.  As I left I remembered all the other times that I had been there, including once as a witness.  In that particular case I was deposed at the end of the day by an attorney who is long gone.  It was a child custody case and I was a "surprise."  A final nail in the coffin, so to speak.

I had canceled my doctor appointment because of this so I called them back and said I could be there like, now.  They got me in and out in 30 minutes with a shot in each hip.  I do so love my PCP.  He is a curmudgeon by anyone's definition but he appreciates that I know my stuff.  It makes for short visits.  After a blood draw, I was free to go once again.

I'm having trouble keeping up with things since Roellen ate my calendar and you certainly can't get a new one in October.  I reckon I will have to learn how to use my phone for that.  I really prefer having a day planner but, there ya' go.  

Prayers up for all those who have been hit by Helene and Milton.  That was sure a double whammy for Florida.  It's still not real to me that Reba is gone but it hit like a ton of bricks when I went by her house to visit with her daughter and son-in-law yesterday.  As Nancy and I walked into the kitchen to get me some bereavement food, I remembered all of the times that Reba and I sat at that kitchen table talking about life.  

Y'all be grateful and faithful ^j^

love you bigger

My dear friend Reba passed away on October 4th, two days before her 86th birthday.  We have known each other for a very loooong time because she and her husband Joe were running buddies with my parents back in the day.  Following her very serious vascular surgery last June, she hired me to be her gal Friday.  And so our friendship continued in a much closer fashion for a year.  

We were polar opposites in many ways.  I wore no makeup and dressed like a slob and she put on makeup and matching outfits every day.  We did lunch all over the area and shopped at Walgreens.  She even bought me some makeup and Hempz lotion on one outing.  She had gorgeous red hair that got done at her home by Connie.  In the end, she was taken care of by home health and her daughter Nancy.  I was there overnight on several occasions sleeping on the couch and listening for her footsteps and the walker.  We would wake up early, eat a biscuit from Mel's and watch TV or scroll through Facebook on our separate devices.  Then we would figure out what to do for lunch.

She told me a lot of stories about her past.  Reba worked as a dental hygienist for many years, first for Dr. Talley and then for Dr. Young.  Everybody loved her, including her clients.  Her stories included tales of her and Joe and my parents going on road trips to the White River.  One in particular sticks in my mind.  Daddy was pretty impatient and they had eaten lunch somewhere and Joe had to go.  Like bad.  Daddy pulled over on a field road and Joe did his business but there was no TP to be had.  On the next trip, Joe drove and there was a handmade TP holder on the dash.  

In his later years, Joe and Ernest came down to the riverbed to fish and when I was down there taking pictures I would run across them.  My favorite pic of all time is of those two. I would drive that trusty old Camry down through the fields and find a spot by the slough to explore.  

Reba was always the hostess with the mostest.  When somebody needed a meal, she whipped it up and delivered.  She was adamant that all cabinet doors be closed and I learned to do that during my time at her home.  Plus, organizing the silverware according to pattern. My mind doesn't usually work that way but I did it for her.  She knew exactly how to stack the bowls and soup cups to make it work. 

We talked politics a lot because we are both Dems.  She told me about the yellow dogs back in the day and I feel sure that she is voting from heaven for a more peaceful democracy.  Every time I left her whether at home or hospital or rehab, I said "I love you big."  Her response was always "I love you bigger."  I miss you Reba ^j^   

walking across egypt

I fell in love with Ckyde Edgerton about 40 years ago at the Southern Festival of Books in Nashville.  It's something that I would have never done on my own but I tagged along with some teachers and experienced the joy of meeting writers and buying their books.  At the time I had a piano and played often so I sat down and played the song that Edgerton had written which was in the back.  I thought about that today at church when Mary Beth continued our journey through the Bible with Exodus.  I seriously needed that refresher on the Old Testament because, well.  I am not a scholar. We heard about the evil pharoah and how he was so alarmed at the number of Israelites that he ordered for babies to be killed to quell the population explosion.  Enter Moses.  You know the story about the baby in the basket in the Nile?  Yeah.  That one.  He promised to take the Israelites to the promised land from slavery in Egypt long after Joseph and his kin had died.  God is abundant and God will provide a way. I watched SNL on Sunday which is the only way I can get my humor on without live TV,  Not that I'm up at 1030 on Saturday night.  Ya' know?

We are all in this together and for the life of me I can't figure out why folks don't want to play nice and help each other.  When something bad happens, everybody wants to "help" but what about doing the next right thing?  My washer is stuck on rinse and spin so I'm trying to pull it out of the little cubby to unplug and reset.   I seriously need some muscle for that but it's just me so there ya' go. At least I have electricity and water, praise be ^j^

first light

I woke up today early and had a bag leak due to pancaking.  I changed it and went back to sleep.  All I saw after a day of rain and wind was a few pecan limbs laying willy nilly out in the yard.  Others, however, woke to find that their lives are changed forever by Helene.  They have lost their homes, businesses, lives, and much much more.  What is so scary to me about this storm is that it moved so far inland and created havoc.  It is the inconvenient truth that Al Gore warned us about years ago.  Our infrastructure is crumbling and nobody cares.  At least nobody in charge.  

As a country, we put out fires when disaster happens rather than investing in pro-active measures.  FEMA. National Guard. All the things that do search and rescue when something goes bad wrong.  Imagine a world where dams are repaired before they bust and flood towns.  I live about 15 miles from the Mighty Mississippi and have seen my share of flooding and such.  Much of this disaster is man made and due to poor oversight of resources.  Back in the 60s the Forked Deer river was channeled by the corp to prevent the yearly floods that plagued Samaria Bend Rd.  It feeds into the Mississippi and Obion so when one floods all the others do as well.  I remember as a child going to town to live for a week when the water got too high to navigate.  On more than one occasion.  Even when I lived on a hill, when the river flooded in 2010 and 2011 the road was not passable.  

The river makes for rich farm land in the bottoms but is normally not ready to plant until late May or early June except for higher elevations.  By August those bottoms are pure dust in the wind.  I have lived here most of my life and seen the changes from year to year.  There are levees in place now to protect the crop land following a few blowouts.  Bubba took me down to see the work going on several years ago.  It cost a fortune I'm sure.  

Reaves is living in a new house that is bigger and probably pretty strange to her right now.  I miss her and I miss Lauren.  My vision is getting worse by the day which means it's hard to write and hard to drive.  Hell it's hard to see what's on the counter or the desk!  I tend NOT to whine but sometimes you just gotta' vent.  Much of my physical health is related to my life choices and genetics.   Having an emergency ileocolostomy five years ago put me into renal disease which has a whole 'nother set of problems.  I get my labs done on a regular basis and right now my creatinine is a bit high and my GFR is low.  But, it's better than it was two years ago.  I think my biggest problem right now is that I am B vitamin deficient.  Since the pills don't digest well considering my gut situation, I'm getting a shot every month.  We shall see.

I am asking for prayer right now for many people.  One of them is my friend Lorna who is suffering mightily.  If you read the list in the DFUMC newsletter, you know she has been there for months and months.  Keep praying people.  This woman needs some peace ^j^

sticker shock

I have been gone from home for almost a week and the cupboard was bare so I headed to Kroger this morning.  Not only was the inventory pitiful but the prices were outrageous!  I got a lot of food and household essentials but it cost me almost 250 bucks.  And no, I don't blame Biden.  I blame corporate greed.  My search was focused on things that don't take a lot of effort to cook but I ended up with lots of ideas for recipes  that I love.  Like easy chicken pot pie and warm spinach parmesan dip.

My heart is a lot lighter now that Roe has a new home and is happy there.  I felt soooo bad about failing her but it just didn't work for either of us.  It takes a village and she ended up where she needs to be.  As usual, this too shall pass.  My SS class has been praying about our situation, bless their hearts.  I reckon that prayer was answered.  

The state of our world is kinda' sorta' scary right now on all levels.  I gave that to God a long time ago so I'm not worried.  When my time comes, I know that I have lived a good life and had a lot of joy.  Sure, things have been hard at times but that is when we grow in faith.  I find comfort in knowing that those who have gone before me will welcome me to the next life.  

Y'all stay safe and remember who you are ^j^

roellen

Me and her spent a couple of really interesting weeks together here on the farm.  Shari brought her to me about the time her sixth litter of puppies was weaned. There were seven but two of 'em died.  Shari got them all places because she is the dog whisperer,  so to speak.  Girl has plenty on her plate but will always do the next right thing for an animal or a person. It was just yesterday that I came to understand that Roe living here was not a good idea for either of us, or Rosie.  After I posted that she was leaving, a whole bunch of folks chastised me for giving up too quick on her.  None of them know my situation and thus placed blame on me for not trying hard enough.  Go back and mind your own biz, and judge not.  

That judgment is what bothers me the most whether it be in church or in politics or both. Many voters have an agenda. Many Republicans embrace pro-life stuff, except when it comes to mass shootings at schools.  Legally speaking, if a woman is on her own and can't take proper care of the child, it punts to the state.  In Tennessee that pretty much is a wash.  At least now Medicaid pays for diapers.  That was not the case when Reaves was a baby.  I reckon Medicaid got expanded somewhat.  But not nearly enough. 

I watched the debate on YouTube and had to stop in 

about halfway in.  It was like a reality tv series where smart woman smacks down elderly idiot with a bad tan. I never imagined in my 69 years that I would see Roe v Wade handed over to the red states to police reproductive healthcare for women.  Cue *handmaids*

I am rambling but this is about Roellen.  I love her so much but I know my limits.  She deserves better than being in the house all the time and crated when I'm gone.  Should I have thought it out more?  Sure.  She followed me every step I made and ran like the wind in the empty field across the road.  She loves other dogs but not so much cats.  Poor Rosie was traumatized from the get go and spent about 3 days on the steps to the attic.  It is not Roe's fault.  She's a street girl and deserves a better life than what I can give her.  I feel sure she will be placed where me and the rest of her  tribe can visit and bring treats.  It takes a village ^j^