not sustainable

There comes a time with money that you realize you are "upside down."  That happens most often with lower middle class people like me.  Had I not had to get an illeocolostomy and a new transmission things would be easier.  But it is what it is.  I have a reasonable rent but utilities are out the ass.  Gas, water and electricity have all gone sky high.  My income is not much....just SS and whatever I manage to earn on the side which hasn't been much lately.  I'm not whining, just stating the facts.  

Occasionally I wonder how the rich people live, but not often. I am sure they all invested wisely and have nice pensions.  It boggles my mind to think about paying for a big house and all the costs plus nice vehicles and dinner out.  We live on the edge here.  But we haven't starved yet.  There is a group here around the burg called Dyersburg free.  Those who are much worse off than me ask for things like food for their kids and washers and dryers.  I am fortunate to not be worrying about kids and whatnot.  Mine is grown and here to help me navigate going blind.  Hers is well taken care of.  Once again, it is what it is.  We make the best of it and manage to laugh about life.  Lauren's favorite phrase is "Mother!"  I promise not to be more difficult than I have to be. 

I think back to what my mother went through as a blind person with a demented husband who was absolutely no help.  He wouldn't read to her or even let her listen to TV without her sitting in the room with him.  And he controlled what they watched.  Frontotemporal dementia is an evil beast.  Formerly known as Pick's disease it attacks social skills and turns the patient into a control freak.  They had a very nice income with Daddy being a retired federal employee.  He literally held her hostage for the last five years of their lives.  He died first and then her six months after.  

Anywho, my friends and I chatted today about being negative and I try soooo hard not to be because I have been blessed in so many ways.  My health is fairly good and I have food, shelter and a very nice cat.  Plus a lot of friends!  It is raining like the devil here at the moment but thankfully no severe weather.  Just nasty!  Y'all be careful out there.  And keep the faith ^j^