cancer sucks

My dear friend is trying her best to go to Jesus but it's hard.  She has cancer everywhere and is taking her time but that doesn't surprise me.  Girl is a fighter, for sure.  She has been a mentor to me since we first met and I have come to love her family as well.  That pecan orchard in Tiptonville holds many memories for all of us.  Dying is an active process and the end is not always pretty unless caregivers are acutely aware of the signs.  I have cried for her, burned sage and otherwise held space for her the past week or so since we went on deathwatch.  I pray that she does not suffer needlessly.  That is the whole point of hospice.

I am currently about as broke as I've been in years because I don't have a job right now.  SS barely covers the basic expenses and now the folks are saying they are gonna' cut it.  I am truly alarmed with Trump's agenda and his cabinet picks.  This is why I avoid the news.  One thing that really hurt me bad is that my transmission went out this past year.  5K being paid out at 166 per month for 3 years.  That was not in my budget, nor was the flat tire this week.  At 69, I still work when I have a job.  Sitting is kind of random and depends on who needs you when.  If you are devoted to one client, you must honor that commitment even if others need you.  I posted yesterday about what I do that includes "light housekeeping."  Somebody messaged me and wanted me to clean their house!  Gurl...I have trouble keeping my own house clean and I'm too old for that.  

My current view above the laptop is people STILL picking greens across the road.  First freeze is coming soon so you gotta' get 'em before they die.  I reckon everybody and their mama wants some for Thanksgiving.  I'll just take a green bean casserole along with my turkey, dressing and deviled eggs.  That should be plenty for the 3 of us.  We have had Thanksgiving dinner in this old house for many many years, usually cooked up on the hill and brought down here.  The last time my parents tried to make sweet potato casserole it ended up all over the kitchen walls!  I don't like that anyway  but Daddy did.  The year before I moved into this cabin we setup a metal table and yard chairs in the living room.....Me, Bubba, Lauren and Reaves.  There is a picture somewhere.  

I miss purple hull peas. You can't find them anywhere around here.  When all the immigrants get deported Pictsweet will go out of business because, well.  You know they are the ones who work hard at jobs that Americans' won't take.  I owe a lot of people a lot of money and will pay them when I am able.  They all know that.  There is propane guy and the pharmacy and the bank loan for the transmission.  Sometimes I feel like I should just get a bike and do good like Sylvester.

Y'all excuse me for rambling.  Keep the faith ^j^