gray days

November is full of 'em.  No matter how unpredictable the weather gets, you can count on Novemblah to be just, blah.  The time changes and this year there was an election which, if you are a progressive, was pretty disturbing.  I have not whined or cried or bitched about it, but a lot of people are freaking out over another Trump presidency.  My answer to that is simple, I just don't watch the news.  I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means.  But, I still can't believe that Harris lost by such a big margin.  I read enough online to know that all of the work that has been done over the past four years to right the wrongs is for nothing.  He will pardon himself, the Jan 6th rioters, and anybody else who loves his trash talk.  Of course the outgoing administration is giving him the full transition treatment as he meets with President Biden today.  He did not give Biden that courtesy and began yelling and screaming about how the election was stolen.  Was this one?  Who knows anymore.  

So transition to me.  I never expected to be THIS old and navigating life by myself.  When I was younger I believed that I would grow old with someone who truly loved me and would be a partner until the end.  That never happened for me.  I was married and had a daughter and she had a daughter too.  I adore them both but I fear for the way of the world as they age.  I knew the best of both worlds.  As a member of a veritable "Cleaver" family I was insulated from much of the evil in this world.  Even so, I did two years of hard therapy in my 30s to find myself as an adult.  I remember my mother asking me "What did we do wrong?"  Nothing Mama.  You guys did the best you could with what you had.  You taught me manners, respect, honesty and a love of God.  I learned to cook well and enjoy growing things.  My childhood was very inclusive and I never heard you or Daddy use racial slurs because we were a mixed community and loved all folks, regardless of skin color or religious beliefs.  

When I was a senior at Dyersburg High School I watched the Nixon impeachment and the passage of abortion rights.  That was 51 years ago and we have gone backwards since then as a country.  How did people get so mean and self centered?  I suppose it is biblical and has "always been thus and so."  That's what Daddy would say.  Billy Yates said "Leave room for the spirit to work" and "This too shall pass."  I look to these elders for faith in these gray days.  Keep the faith ^j^