marvelous monday

I woke up this morning early which seems to be the new normal for me.  I can feel my body shifting with the season as the dark comes earlier.  Like everybody else, I'm not always sure what day it is.  I made a pro-active step and got an appointment with a local GP which is long overdue.  The days of diagnosing myself with free labs are over!  I still have free doctor friends to advise me on the side but at my age there needs to be an established go-to person.  

My mental status is about like everybody else, fatigued and lost in the pandemic.  It feels as if we are slowly being pulled apart by a monster that won't go away.  My kitchen table is covered in glitter, a remnant of yesterday's slime party.  It is a happy reminder of good times.  Oscar is asleep in the recliner beside me and Ellie is sprawled on my bed.  All is well.

I am struggling to describe my feelings right now but the best I can explain it is as if I'm watching a movie of life rather than truly living it.  I am sure that is a common thread among all of us these days.  The west is burning, the Gulf Coast is storming and we are just weeks away from a critical presidential election.  And people don't wear their damned masks.  SMH.

This fugue state reminds me that it must be very hard to be isolated with no family or friends.  Even sadder are those who don't know who or where they are.   Dementia is a cruel thief, especially to the caregivers.  I once had a great aunt who laid in the nursing home staring at the ceiling for ten years.  It ain't pretty.  

Y'all help me keep the faith, umkay ^j^