grief

In my experience, we are all in various states of grief.  And I'm not just talking about dead people.  Any life or relationship change can result in feelings of loss and or abandonment.  I was crazy as a goose the first year after I retired from healthcare.  My relationships have morphed and changed until I know who my true friends are and those who pretend to be. My relationship with my granddaughter has turned into collateral damage based on the fact that grandparents have no rights.  And I'm not referring to my daughter.  

I am exhausted on so many levels.  The only thing that saves me is my faith.  I saw Sylvester at Casey's today doing his usual thing.  Sweeping up parking lots and floors.  He rides a bicycle and has a whole bunch of rags on his head.  Sweet as pie.  It made me more resilient, I think, to call this man a friend because he is a good person and reminds me a bit of Jesus.  But then a lot of people do on the road to Emmaus ^j^