who am i?

Most of us identify with the many roles that we play.  I have been, in my day all of the following plus a bunch more.  First there was country girl daughter and sister.  I had extended family on both sides of my parents' heritage but most of them are gone now save for one aunt and a few cousins.  I don't remember much about the being a mother part because I was taking call and busting my ass as a medical professional.  Had it not been for my parents, I would have been screwed...I look back now and regret that I didn't spend more family time with Lauren because of that job.  It paid well  and was quite interesting but I missed a lot with my only child.

Once upon a time I was a wife and that's something that ended badly but gave me a new life and ended up with him finding something better.  He helped a lot of people struggling with addiction before he died.  I think I was a pretty good wife, though codependent to the gills.  We managed to get Lauren to adulthood together.  He was never abusive.  It was a marriage of convenience.

I am a friend and mentor to many, including a lot of Lauren's buddies.  I was the "cool mom" who took time to listen to them with their own mamas were too busy or overworked.  I let them gather at the house in their late teens and early twenties and nobody got hurt.  There were a lot of parties by the light of the moon and the fire out in front of the barn.  Once I even rescued her boyfriend who was trapped under a utility pole trying to cut firewood. Thank goodness for cell phones.  

I was raised in the Christian faith and remain steadfast, doing what I can to be my best self to others.  It takes about all I've got to care for ME so I don't volunteer much but I never get over the magic of a service in that old building at Main and McGaughey.  

I feel bad for those who are still working at my age because had I not taken early retirement, I would never have made it.  In fact, I almost didn't in spite of being retired.  I began sitting with folks to supplement my income and had a life threatening emergency surgery within a year.  Everybody thought I was gonna' die.  Do NOT ignore diverticulitis.  It's a killer.  

I've always been good at writing and public speaking, not a shy bone in my body.  I'm not very organized, though I try.  I procrastinate a lot.  Lauren thinks I have ADHD which would be just another diagnosis on my chart.  I could sure use a pill for that.

Honest to God, I don't know who I am.  If I'm lucky I have ten or fifteen good years, Lord willing.  I wouldn't redo any of it because it made me who I am.  Which is why I'm going back into therapy.

Love ya' like chicken.