amends

One of the twelve steps is to try to correct wrongs we have done to others if it doesn't cause them harm.  This comes after a fearless and searching moral inventory which can take *ahem* awhile.  Playing the victim has allowed me to get old and not responsible, but everybody loves me.  That is hard to accept along with the other ways that I have failed.  I try not to think about it and dwell on the things that I do well and enjoy.  My vision has me scrunched up with a laptop in the dark to watch Netflix but I can still see it!  

I saw the dentist today and they worked on my denture to improve the fit.  No liner needed just yet.  I am still learning the right amount of glue to use after a year.  But enough about me.

Like everybody else, I am keeping up with the searches in Texas.  And I am also seeing a lot of blame being thrown around which is absolutely horrendous and takes away from mourning this tragedy for what it truly is.  It's kind of odd to think about but someone mentioned Noah's Ark to me the other day and my mind went to that story.  

We have become so numb to horrible things happening.  Mass shootings are big news for a week or so and then something else happens for reporters to talk about.  We forget the horror of loss and try to move forward. One day at a time.

The first thing I do when I get up is go to the front porch to smoke.  It is usually quiet and the birds talk.  Cicadas play their morning song which is quite differenrt from the sunset serenade.  It's just the circle of life and nature and each day is a gift.  I know, I sound like a Hallmark card....lol

I haven't always believed that.  Going through the motions of being a control freak has made me much less grateful for what I have been blessed with.  So many of us think that we can earn love when in reality it is given freely if we are just open to it.  The demons will always be there trying to rob ya, but it's a choice.  To hope.  To believe in something wonderful.  To keep the faith ^j^