bread and milk

All of the weather sites are atwitter with forecasts of snow in about two weeks or less.  Please do not wait until the day before to get your staples.  Add toilet paper to the list too!  One good snow is all I need and then I'm over winter and looking for spring.  Around here stuff starts popping up in faux spring and usually gets bit.  Like the peach tree.  Last year it was in full bloom and we had a freeze that killed the potential fruit dead as a doornail.  Not.One.Peach.  Plenty of apples but those trees bloom later.  Buttercups usually start poking out during February also.  

The cold weather is blowing in today with 20 to 30 mph winds that will push the car every which a way.  Lauren is out dashing through the wind to earn gas money to go see her babygirl tomorrow.  She said she saw drones last night on her way home so we'll be watching for them after dark today.  Or not.  I might be asleep!

2025 is just around the corner and I am cautiously optimistic about a clean slate except for you know you and their agenda.  I hope I am seriously wrong on that.  For all our sakes.  I am approaching the five year anniversary of almost dying and it has been on my mind a lot.  Since the creation of my ostomy I have developed a hernia and a small prolapse.  It was hurting yesterday so I'm praying things don't get worse.  I purchased an additional insurance plan just in case there is an emergency.  It kicks in tomorrow.

Here's to a new year and new goals.  As for me, it's finding another job that I can see to do.  Seeing Reaves soon ( it's been 2 months.) and peace on earth.  I know, I'm such a dreamer.  If the weather isn't good for fireworks you can always bang pots and pans at midnight.  And keep the faith ^j^

animal house

Well, the mystery of the stray dog is solved.  He lives across the road and broke off of a chain where he was tied up.  I spoke with the owners about his condition and they have kept him up since then, hopefully not tied in the back.  Yesterday their OTHER dog got away and they were chasing her all around my yard trying to catch her as she ran like the devil dragging a leash behind her.  Lerd.  

There is a stray Siamese looking cat who has been coming around to visit Rosie.  It's a pretty thing but skittish and I have no clue where it came from or where it stays.  Until yesterday, when I saw it crawl under the house through a hidey hole.  That is not the first one that has done that.  Cats are sneaky little critters, especially the strays.  I'm not feeding it so I guess it's living on what it hunts and kills.  Probably a lot of mice and moles under this house!

So....it's duck season and the river around here is prime territory.  We woke up to gunshots early this morning in heavy fog so I knew somebody was hunting.  I don't know how they could even see the ducks, the fog was so thick.  Anywho, welcome to the country.

I began a job this morning and realized within two hours that I can't see well enough to do clerical work. Which sucks.  Once again, it is what it is.  I feel kind of lost right now with my disability staring me in the face.  I need a job but I know my limitations.  Hopefully I can get better glasses in 2025 that will help with all things vision.  I got bifocals last time and when I told the folks that I could not see the computer they said "Oh, you need trifocals!"  Alrighty then.  

Yesterday at church we had a silent meditation time for us to ask God for guidance during the coming year.  Like, what do you want to do and where do I go?  I ended up at the altar on that one because I'm pretty lost about my purpose in life right now.  I have faith that it will be revealed to me in God's time.  And I am keeping the faith ^j^

not sustainable

There comes a time with money that you realize you are "upside down."  That happens most often with lower middle class people like me.  Had I not had to get an illeocolostomy and a new transmission things would be easier.  But it is what it is.  I have a reasonable rent but utilities are out the ass.  Gas, water and electricity have all gone sky high.  My income is not much....just SS and whatever I manage to earn on the side which hasn't been much lately.  I'm not whining, just stating the facts.  

Occasionally I wonder how the rich people live, but not often. I am sure they all invested wisely and have nice pensions.  It boggles my mind to think about paying for a big house and all the costs plus nice vehicles and dinner out.  We live on the edge here.  But we haven't starved yet.  There is a group here around the burg called Dyersburg free.  Those who are much worse off than me ask for things like food for their kids and washers and dryers.  I am fortunate to not be worrying about kids and whatnot.  Mine is grown and here to help me navigate going blind.  Hers is well taken care of.  Once again, it is what it is.  We make the best of it and manage to laugh about life.  Lauren's favorite phrase is "Mother!"  I promise not to be more difficult than I have to be. 

I think back to what my mother went through as a blind person with a demented husband who was absolutely no help.  He wouldn't read to her or even let her listen to TV without her sitting in the room with him.  And he controlled what they watched.  Frontotemporal dementia is an evil beast.  Formerly known as Pick's disease it attacks social skills and turns the patient into a control freak.  They had a very nice income with Daddy being a retired federal employee.  He literally held her hostage for the last five years of their lives.  He died first and then her six months after.  

Anywho, my friends and I chatted today about being negative and I try soooo hard not to be because I have been blessed in so many ways.  My health is fairly good and I have food, shelter and a very nice cat.  Plus a lot of friends!  It is raining like the devil here at the moment but thankfully no severe weather.  Just nasty!  Y'all be careful out there.  And keep the faith ^j^

phrase of the day

"Rage tweeting"  You will never guess who that refers to.  That's all I have to say about that today. Take it for what it's worth.  Not sharing my brain space with 'em.  I'm watching the water guys check my meter knowing that I will, again, be over minimum.  That's okay.  It takes water and electricity to clean up a mess and we are doing just that.  And actually enjoying it!  LP is a real organizer/cleaner and I am not.  She's more like my mother.  But we do share a really wicked sense of humor.  That's pretty cool.

I went to the funeral "parlor" today to visit with the family of my friend and client.  I also got to visit with my friend Kay which is always a treat.  Stella had the day off so I missed her but Janie was there along with a lot of other folks who knew the family and her.  I had not met one whole set of grandchildren and their spouses and kids so I went to the coffee lounge to get acquainted.  I had seen pictures of all of them but needed proper introduction.  I just needed to put names with faces for all these people I learned about through her.  That gave me some closure.

Old Marvin 2.0 is hanging closer to our house since the food is here.  And a bit of attention.  Our goal is to get him into rescue and get him vetted.    The collar chain that he had on is gone so somebody had to have cut it off.  He shows up for meals and hangs around on the porch but "no house" for this one.  If dogs have been traumatized they often don't even know what it's like to be in a house.  Like Roellen!  I am so thankful that she came from trying to be a house dog to a forever home in the country.  She's a "shop dog."

I am venturing out into the job market next week and have to take a serious look at what to wear.  I am a slob by nature preferring comfort to style.  There has to be a perfect mix of that.  Most of my clothes have been given to me by friends and that's a sweet deal.  Something doesn't fit?  Give to Poopie.  What I really need is comfy shoes.  I have two old pair of Clark's for the FH but not much else.  Most of the worn out Brooks' went into last week's garbage.  We are downsizing like a mofo.  

One of my little Christmas quirks is saving cards from one year to the next.  It doesn't take up much room and the next year it reminds me that there is always somebody out there who has the energy to spread good cheer.  My holidays have been merry because I focused more on the spirit of the season and less on the hoorah.  It has been a real blessing from the baby Jesus.  

I pray that you are well and looking forward to next year.  We shall see what happens when we keep the faith ^j^

on the second day of christmas

My true love gave to me....a starving dog who is now eating well and putting on weight.  He's still nasty and scratching but lets me pet him and seems to love it.  Lauren and I decided to call him Marvin 2.0 because we once took in a stray up on the hill who came to us that exact way.  Starving Marvin, we called him.  He lived a long and happy life with us and the rest of the pack.  

I spent most of yesterday alone and was okay with it.  Lauren was with Reaves and fam so after breakfast with Bubba I chilled here at the cabin.  It was a rainy nasty day but this one is quite nice.  Don't even need a coat.  Right now we are able to just knock the chill off with gas logs.  Saves on the propane ya' know?

I joined an ostomy support group online about a year after my surgery.  I don't post much but the other day I bragged that I had made it 7 days without a bag change.  Lerd.  There were alllll kinds of comments on that little victory ranging from one end of the spectrum to the other.  They ranged from "congrats" to EWWWW that's nasty!  The eww that's nasty people rinse their bag every they empty.  I just figure...why?  It's only gonna' fill with poop again.  I had so much trouble figuring out how to use the system correctly that I don't mess with it if it's working and not leaking.  

If I had known five years ago what was ahead I probably would have shot my eye out.  There was a very long recovery at rehab and at home with many middle of the night calls to home health nurses to rescue me.   During that time I became friends with a HH nurse whose husband has an ostomy.  She has been a fountain of knowledge.  Thanks girl.  You know who you are.  Not only was I bedridden and learning to do the bag thing, I had a HUGE incision from the surgery that required a wound vac for six weeks.  The day I graduated to wet-to-dry was like freedom from carrying 10 lbs all the time.  But it worked..much faster healing process.

The people who saved my life that day started with the hospital here in D'burg followed by ambulance transport to Baptist East.  I remember none of that.  I think the hit me with the morphine in Dyersburg plus I was almost septic.  Blood cultures in Memphis were surprisingly no growth.  I woke up in the ICU intubated and had to be hit with propofol to settle me down.  Thankfully I slept through the rest and woke up a bevy of friends and family including not one, but two UMC ministers.  Everybody thought I was gonna' die.  So, Mary Beth the wonderful and Dell led prayer around my bed.  When the tube came out, Patsye and Larry got to watch.  She said my eyes got big as saucers!

It was a group effort beginning with Bubba picking me up at 6am in the rain to go to ER.  The road was flooded but he had no problem getting to me.  Millette stayed in the ER with me all day until I got transferred.    

The day I left the hospital was kind of comical.  At the time, ni.  But now I can laugh about it.  The ambulance came to pick me up at the discharge wing and promptly placed my stretcher in the truck which was in the rain.  Notice the rain hung around like crazy that January of 2020.  On the 23rd I woke up to the most beautiful sunrise ever from that tall building and said "Hey mom,"  That was the day that she died some years earlier.  My room was real close to the nursing station so I got to hear all the goings on out there.  Lerd!  I finally begged with them to be quiet.  Having nothing for sleep and in that kind of pain I got "a little testy" as Janice would say.  The ambulance taking me to rehab got lost on the way to Dyersburg and we ended up on some road in Haywood county (still in the rain) because they were using GPS.  It's a straight shot down 51 North from there.  

Since we got lost, it took over the time limit for my wound vac so it had to be redone when I got to the nursing home.  There was only one nurse who could do that so it took awhile.  I was first placed in the room with a lady with a broken neck.  She and hubby were watching Wheel of Fortune and I had a come apart.  They moved to a room that was empty *for that night so I wouldn't leave AMA.  I was begging Lauren to come get me and then Mary Beth showed up * act 2  to settle my ass down.  I was there for 7 days before Lauren brought me home.  She was living and working in Jackson at the time.  

So many people helped out during that time and I will never forget it.  When you almost die at the young age of 64, it makes you realize how much kindness means when you're sick.  I've always been a "soldier on" kind of girl but I had no choice but to depend on others and roll with it.  Several of my Memphis friends visited and brought stuff like clothes and popsicles.  Regina slept on the couch for 2 nights in case I needed help.  And on and on.  

My surgeon was off the weekend after the procedure so I was supposed to be solid food but did not until he returned on Monday.  I cried and acted pitiful and he begged with me not to give up.  "You are doing so good" he said.  I saw him and his GI specialist friend later that year and decided that reversal was not for me.  Two surgeries and lots of complications can be had.  I'm not that much of a gambler.

To anyone and everyone who was there for me during that time, thank you.  There was food brought and wine and a corkscrew along with many other acts of kindness.  I even got the Monday meal from church!

Don't stress about things if you are still alive.  There's a reason for that and we just gotta' find it.  Slowly but surely I am learning things.  Like don't flush baby wipes.  Your septic tank person will be really pissed.  Ditto for butts.  Anything that doesn't break down.  That's my TED for today. Instead of turtle doves I have a mess of crows and a stray dog.  Wouldn't have it any other way.

Y'all keep the faith ^j^ 

Christmas breakfast

It's just me and Bubba now, but we never miss.  Today's grub was at Hippie's at the Corner around Four Points.  I took cheese grits that I had already "sampled" last night and we had a nice visit with a family who owns the business.  Several regulars were there....Sweet Casey worked that place and owned it.  Knows all the regulars by name.  "merry Christmas y'all" she should say as they left.  I got a hug from her and Suzanne and got to see the grandbaby.  And Suzanne!

We visited with an old friend and caught up a bit on life in that neck of the woods.  One of my best memories of Lowell is at our mutual friend's funeral when he spoke.  It was hilarious and fitting!

Reaves and Alex got up at four freakin' am to see what Santa brought in Jackson and, praise Jesus, Lauren was there for the festivities.  I think they are still going on.  In the video she reminded me of Lauren at the age of seven.  My late cousin Debbie used to call me early Christmas morning to see what each other got.  Bubba and I talked this morning when passing cattle and both remembered Daddy coming through the back door with that hat on, the one with flaps.  And overalls.  Checkin' to see if any calves got stuck and needed a chain!

That poor old spotted dog is out there in the rain somewhere.  He ate well last night as we sat on the porch together.  I did notice that he settled down a bit and started watching what was going on around us.  And I petted him, but not a lot because he's wet and nasty.  There is a place for him to sleep on the back porch but he hasn't found it yet.  Baby steps.  He seriously needs a name.  

I pray that all of your dreams come true.  I'm still dreaming ^j^

 

holiday tradtion

My daughter from another mother and I have started a new one this year.  We shopped together on Black Friday and Christmas Eve this year.  She started discussing all the discounts and we decided to shop around the holiday season, whatever it may be.  I reckon I'll see her around Valentine's Day.  Love you.  Mean it.  

LP is dashing thru Christmas Eve trying to earn a buck.  I figure today will be pretty busy what with families in and whatnot.  I just realized that I picked up the phrase "What not" from watching Disjointed.  What a hoot.  She went shopping for Reaves last night and did a good deal of thoughtful giving for a low price.  They will just be thrilled to be together.

Judging by the empty pan outside, I would assume that the nameless cur has eaten!  Thanks again to Cathy for the vittles.  Bubba said "You're not feeding that dog are you??"  Umm.  That would be a hard yes. I will not let him starve out in the cold.  I already have some folks in the wings who will help get him adopted.  AFTER we fatten him up and work on the skittish.

I am sitting here in the home that I grew up in and thinking about past Christmas memories.  My favorite family picture ever was one I called "The Cast."  Me and LP.  Daddy and Mama.  Tommy and Yvette.  And Bubba in sunglasses.....

Y'all be on the lookout for Santa.  He might be on one of those drones ^j^

christmas eve eve

Life has been kind of upside down around here lately.  LP and I are both unemployed except for her dashing, therefore, there is no stress in "getting ready for Christmas."  We live day by day on what she makes and the Lord has provided.  I remember the days when I worked every other Christmas and she pleaded with me as a child not to go.  It was a struggle to make it to every Christmas event while working.  I wish that I had that opportunity all over again as a retired person.

One of my friends and readers saw that we are feeding a stray that is, literally, skin and bones.  We haven't had the $$ to buy him dog food and she brought 44 lbs of high protein dog food this morning!  That will save the cat food for Rosie who grazes all day long when she's not sleeping or hunting.  Thank you Cathy!  Lauren and I were sitting in the living room the other day when we heard a big WHAM on the window.  It was a young bird who got knocked out from the hit.  We checked on him several times and he appeared to be dead except for head movement.  I think he was shaking it off!  Rosie was kept inside because well, you know.  Eventually little bird got on his feet and flew back to the family.  I don't know why, but that gave me hope and faith.  When we hit the wall ( or window )  sometimes we have to rest a bit and then shake it off to move forward.  

I now have a part time job to look forward to because I seriously need some structure.  Having a place to be at a certain time and get paid for it is exciting to me after several months of isolating and mourning Ms Reba.  We had such good times together in our year long tenure.  I have to say that she was the most charming client and friend that I have ever spent time with.  Her celebration of life is this Friday and I can assure you I will finally let loose with the tears.  I heard so many stories from her that included my parents and others who were their friends.  But I also heard about her younger years as a hard worker who had fun and became a beloved dental hygenist for many many years.  She was still working a lot when she was my age!

I also lost a dear friend with the passing of Lorna.  She suffered a lot and it was a blessing but very bittersweet.  She was like another motha' to me in spite of the fact that she was only 3 years older.  You know like "YOU need to....yadayada."  I listened to her advice and occasionally did what she suggested.  Most of the time I procrastinated!  Girl was a real dreamer.

It may be warm enough to sit on the porch with a puffy coat so I'll see y'all later.  Be blessed ^j^

 

things i've learned (in my old age)

I gotta warn you, this will be a pretty long list and rather wordy.  Everything I needed to know I did NOT learn in kindergarten....Well except for the nice stuff like love your neighbor and those who are different from you.  Be kind.  Be helpful and not mean.  Later in life I learned some lessons the hard way and learned from them.  That is valuable education right there.  Life skills.  I only wish that I had known 30 years ago what I know now.  Coulda'Shoulda' Woulda'.  So here they are in no particular order.  

1.  Own your power.  If you don't feel like being brave manifest that stuff.  There will always be somebody trying to further their agenda if you can be manipulated.  Stop that shit!  I'm not going to get into the specifics but, I've been there done there many times.

2.  Family is important.  That doesn't just apply to blood kin, but hold those close too.  I have brothers andcousins left ( plus one aunt ) who are related to me by blood, that I know of.  I know I know..family can be annoying, but you gotta' love them if you understand from whence they came.  That's the cool thing about having siblings and cousin.  We all have shared memories.  Millette can absolutely tell you that me and Debbie dressed up Tommy as Baby New Year at Gaga/s house. If I'm lying I'm dying.

3.  Nothing is forever.  That goes for good times as well as bad.  You may think that what's happening right now to you personally is huge but that will change.  There is a grieving process involved with letting go of things that hold us back.  Every time something changes the dynamics of our lives, we adapt...hopefully.  Learning to do that is a very valuable life skill.

4.  Pets are cool.  I have never NOT had a pet in my entire life except for when I was in college.  Dorms don't allow that!  I remember seeing a drunk farmer run over my beloved beagle Nosey when I was a little girl.  That taught me about when life sucks and death is hard to swallow. The scenario has been repeated over and over during my life as I continued to care for the least of these.

5.  Therapy is good.  I think each of us has to find a way to peace and there are so many ways to do that.  For me it is gardening and writing.  When I had a good camera there was photography.  Daddy and Mama called me Dick Flowers because I would creep over in the woods and take pictures. I could walk better back then,

6. God is good.  All the time.  We may not understand what the plan is but He does.  Like "every hair on your head" kind of good.  He gave us free will and we all know how that turns out.  When I try to control things instead of going with the flow, usually I fail, I can tell you exactly when I became a Christian and it was at DFUMC around Easter when Mark Locke put on a big production featuring Christ's walk on the Via Dolorosa.  Me and Daddy did that together many times.  

Today's Advent candle is lit for love ^j^ 

oberservations

I rang the bell for the Salvation Army today and noticed several things.  Everybody was in a hurry to get their shit done and get home.  It was cold but the ringers were allowed inside so that was good.  Kroger and Hobby Lobby do that.  Wallyworld?  Not so much.  The men were much more generous, especially the older ones.  Most of the women were on a mission and walked on by as I said Merry Christmas!  Our local soup kitchen is about 5K down from last year.  Lisa and her crew feed about 250 meals a day to the homeless.  It's a group effort and all volunteer.

So we have this dog hanging around who is starving to death slowly but surely.  We feed him cat food but that ain't gonna work for long.  He's purdy and needs a name and I am smooth out of 'em.  If it wasn't Christmas week I'd get in tTouch with rescue agencies and find him a home.  For now he gets cat food and leftovers.  Doesn't seem to mind much.  Dude just scarfs and runs to wherever.  

So what are ya'll doing for Christmas?  I don't have a clue except for breakfast at Hippies Corner Cafe.  Gaga's cheese grits are made and ready to bake at some point.  I try not to plan ahead but lerd.  Those things require assembly and whatnot!  

Lauren's plants have really spiffed up our living space.  We prolly need some plant food or something.  This propane heat is rough on all of us.  I have spent today making decisions about my life and vocation.  More later.  Love ya'll.  Mean it ^j^

happy holidays

I am a bit put out with all these career politicians dragging over a simple thing like "pass the freakin; bill.  One thing that I didn't like about it was that it gave all of them a nice pay raise.  And now they're fighting like children without a thought of what we the people are dealing with.  I learned from watching Frank Underwood what snakes people can become when there is power involved.  I have really never craved that...I don't want to be in charge.  Which, evidently the president elect, does not either.  Whatever :E: says.  Our country is in a very perilous and scary situation and we don't need the richest man in the world telling us to "suck it up, it'll get better!"

Today was quite cold and blustery.  I met my BFFs for lunch then went to talk to a woman about a job.  We shall see.  I rode shotgun with LP on a delivery before she took me home.  Lunch was fun as usual and nobody was in a hurry to be anywhere which is nice.  I don't know how that ever got started but it's had a long run!

This holiday season has been about making do with less and paying attention to the essentials.  There is nothing I could give Reaves more valuable than my time.  She has all of her material needs met and then some.  She is smart, thriving in school and quite sassy.  Watch out for that whine though.  She was sick this week and I could hear the pitifulness all over her voice.  Girl, please.  I feel your pain ;)

I've missed my church family the past two weeks but I sure didn't want to give 'em the epizootie.  Jesus would NOT like that.  I'm ringing the Salvation Army bell tomorrow so don't just keep walking.....dig into those pockets!  I'm dressed in a reindeer sweat shirt with an ugly Christmas sweater on top  Gotta conserve electricity ya' know.

Looks like nobody is getting their packages by Christmas because "shutdown" and "strike."  Things could be worse y'all.  Just be grateful we're still here even if the world hates us.  Oh, and keep the faith.  Always ^j^

hit me again

This morning I went to see my GP regarding some lab results.  We are figuring that I am B12 deficient because of my gut so I get shots once a month.  I think he appreciates the chance to treat somebody in the healthcare field because we kinda' sorta' know what's going on.  My folate was out of range so I asked about that too.  The B vitamins, 12 and 9, work together to put iron into the red blood cells.  Intrinsic factor in the stomach is a big part of it.  Considering what my gut is like it is "to be expected."  Same for folks with gastric bypass.  Live and learn.  The laboratory professional always wants to know how things work together.  It's amazing really, to consider all the different systems that run the body.  Coagulation is one that can go to hell in a handbasket quick resulting in blood and component transfusion.  

LP has transformed this hot mess of a house into a home with her decorator's touch.  Adding her plants to the living room and hanging lights gives it a kind of "witchy" feel that I like.  Her wife-in-law Kim kept them alive and even repotted  some.  Ir makes me so happy to see that family including her...and me.  Children deserve to be kept firmly in sight when conversations happen about their lives.  Kim also found rescues for both dogs and cats.  

We have this skin and bones dog that somebody dropped of I reckon.  I don't know where he stays most of the time, but he always shows up to eat in the late afternoon.  He won't cull nothing!  Yesterday he had cat food and chicken salad both within 30 seconds.  He then looked longingly in the door trying to get in but, nope.  We will work to find him a foster or forever home because he's really pretty....brindle.  Plus, that's what Jesus would do.  

Rose has a Siames boyfriend who comes around too but we don't feed him.  They just play all night which is cool because she's fixed, thanks to Paws to Care.  These volunteers amaze me with their dedication.  You gotta' LOVE animals to do that.

Job interview for me tomorrow.  Two strong leads for the roommate.  In the meantime she's doing the dash thing for day to day expenses.  Some folks are feeling generous around Christmas time.  That is a miracle in and of itself..

Stockings are hung by the chimney with care here.  Hope. Peace.Joy and faith^j^

it's not the same

I've been out crawling the yard picking pecans and missing my buddies Patty and Oscar.  For the past few years it has been a group effort.  Oscar boy died earlier this year and it's just been me and Carol so far.  Rain is heading in again so I tried to get 'em while I can.  Pecan season is usually pretty long here in the south because it doesn't freeze until November.  There has been many a January that I was out there getting the last of them.  

Today has been spent taking care of healthcare business.  My last b12 level was off the chart because I got an injection first.  Hmmm. I googled it and was told that it goes immediately into the bloodstream.  I have rescheduled several appointments for January when the co-pay will be a bit lower.  I'm just thankful to be alive in spite of the aches and pains.  

So, this is what happened.  I took about 35 lbs of my pecans to Pennington's and they wouldn't buy them because they were "too rough."  Alrighty then.  Merry Christmas to y'all too!  Jeffro said it was due to drought and stink bugs.  They looked good to me but..who am I?  I won't be wasting my time on that anymore, but pecan yoga was good exercise.  

A huge thunderstorm woke me up at sometime during the dark.  Rained like the dickens with lots of close up lightning and thunder but, the power didn't go out so that's all good.  Little blessings make me happy.  LP has 2 jobs in the works and I have an interview on Friday so we shall see how all that goes.  In the meantime she is door dashing so tip well folks!  Love ya.  Mean it ^j^

another day, another gun

What will it take to stop the violence at schools when students go crazy and decide to take out innocents along with themselves?  The gun nuts say it's a "mental health" problem.  No y'all.  It's a gun problem.  These shooters get their guns with a mission in mind.  Many of them are obtained illegally and under the radar.  Some of them have mental health problems but are able to get weapons anyway.  I have a seven year old granddaughter who has to do active shooter drills at her school.  Ever since Sandy Hook, I have been appalled at the lengths crazy people will go to kill themselves in the process of taking kids and teachers out. Today's shooter did just that.  

Mass shootings weren't a thing when I was a kid.  People had guns but used them in a responsible way to hunt game to defend themselves.  Fast forward to these days where everybody has access to one ( often from parents) and don't get help with their emotional problems because therapy is bad or some such bullshit.I have no answers because the majority of this country LOVES guns and their 2nd amendment rights.  And Jesus wept.

Y'all have a Merry Christmas and whatnot.  It really pains me to hear about kids "not having Christmas" meaning no gifts.  There will be no gifts for my family this year but we will celebrate the birth of baby Jesus anyway.  After all, it's about the manger and the gift of Christ not sweaters and shirts that will never be worn,  Keep the faith ^j^

epizootie

LP and I have both been sick for several weeks with some kind of crud.  She went to urgent care yesterday and the chest x-ray showed pneumonia.  Sooo...Our plans to go see Reaves' Christmas program turned into hanging out in the living room with Rosie the cat and church online again.  I hope God understands.

It's gloomy but quite warm with several days of rain in the forecast.  That doesn't bode well for my pecan picking.  I have about 20 lbs to sell and hoping to add to that.  It's not much but every little bit helps!

Bubba and I have a standing date on for Christmas breakfast out.  The past few years have been at Huddle House and we considered Waffle House this year UNTIL we found out that Hippie's Corner Cafe will be open.  We both love us some Casey Lou so I will make garlic cheese grits to go with the rest.  Of the women that I interviewed for SHE, Casey is the one who was most humble and appreciative about being featured.

I missed the party because....eppizootie.  I will go by the office this week and pick up a copy to add to the others that I have.  When Kathy Krone was writing for the SG she did a story about my family and our caregiving.  That was many years ago.  And this is today.

Once upon a time the blog fairy visited on Christmas Eve.  I was working that day and pulled up to the mailbox to find something that blew me away.  For months the fairy visited me with gifts and financial help.  I never did find out who it was because the postmarks were all over the map.  My mail carrier at the time was a big part of it.  I told him the story and he was amazed!

There are good people everywhere who care and I realize that.  When times get hard, expect nothing.  Miracles do happen.  As for me and mine, we need jobs ^j^

plan c

I tend to write about people who are near and dear to me, and some not so much.  I don't OUT people by using their names unless I know that they are cool with that.  Most folks are because they want their story to be shared.  I just about cried when I saw Casey Lou's post this morning with a copy of SHE magazine and her sister.  I won't begin to tell you what hardships they have endured but trust me.  They have been together all this time making Hippies Corner Cafe become a reality.

I was all prepared to take rotel cream cheese sausage balls to church tomorrow but plans change.  Bubba will get his share, LP and I will get ours and we shall drive to church in Jackson to see data baby sing about Baby Jesus.  That's what's up.

For those of you who have been praying for Dickey, Pam says he is doing quite well.  In a private room now away from the ICU constant noise.  Sweet sleep coming his way!  I am steady looking for a way to be informed outside of FB.  I don't trust Zuck in the new world order.  My prediction is that the Republican party will give him a few days (hopefully not) and act swiftly.  Surely there are conservative politicians who will recognize a dog and pony show and how it affects their bottom line.  The cabinet picks are bizarre by anyone's imagination.  Let us pray ^j^

PS  Bubba has been sending me recipes for rotel cream cheese sausage balls for months.  I made some last night and today and I have to say they are rich and yummy.  I used cheap sausage so almost set off the fire alarm but opened the doors.  It's raining now and LP is at the urgent care to get some treatment for whatever we have.  It's awful y'all!  Coughing and hacking and nose blowing out the wazoo.  

I rolled some pecans earlier before the rain started.  That made me think about Lorna's orchard in Tiptonville.  Her kids sent me a pic of all of us outside of Ellington Ha;; after her service.  Everybody had flowers, as she would want.  I am looking forward to some closure with Ms Reba.   Shit.Damn.Hell.Piss....Donald!  We watched the David Swift trial together as well as the Paris Olympics.  Every single person that I have worked for shared moments of history with me.  Me and Joy watched Jan 6th together and I tried not to freak her out but! Little slices of history become memories.  

Merry and bright here ^j^

introvert

In my old age, I have become one.  Back in the day I was a frequent public speaker and never missed a rat killing.  Now I find solace in being at home with the cat and nature.  I do enjoy the occasional small gathering with people who know me well, but put me in a group where I don't know anybody and I am looking at my phone to see what time it is.  I have become accustomed to being alone and actually like it.  Lauren and I joked that I needed to find a nice elderly rich guy with one foot in the grave and no pre-nup.  She knows me well!  I haven't had very good luck with men over the years so that colors my perspective.  The ones I fell for were either emotionally unavailable or true assholes.  Out of all of them, there were one or two who truly loved and appreciated me.  It's rare to find that.  I do, however, have a lot of friends who love me big time and for that I am grateful.  Male and female alike!

I suppose one of the reasons for my solitude is that I just don't care about impressing people anymore.  I know my worth and don't need validation from others.  I would rather sit with a friend and have a long unscripted conversation about life.  My poor mama about killed herself being a people pleaser and I followed in her footsteps for many years.  Now, I literally do not care.  People can be really mean, especially on social media.  One nasty comment and somebody comes unglued.  Not me.  I just keep scrolling.

The Christmas season is hard for so very many who are facing their "firsts without" and even those of us who are up into the higher years of missing family and friends.  I don't think that a lot of people realize that because it's all about rush rush rush to make it all perfect.  That doesn't happen here either.  It will get done on time, whatever that may be.  As my editor friend can tell you, I am a procrastinating fool but I do manage to come through with something.  This year I had four stories to do and my laptop died right in the middle of it while I was staying with Ms. Reba.  My friend Jay gave me one that he had and I was back online but couldn't figure out how to send the docs to her.  Sooooo./I copied and pasted to email and she did the rest.  Bless you my child.

I am usually sound asleep by 8PM and don't even care that I am missing something.  The world will continue to twirl and I'll look it up in the morning.  And if I die before I wake, there is somebody here to find me.  It is very comforting having LP here. We share a phone and car for her to dash but there are some good prospects.  The most interesting job posting lately was "Hebrew interpreter."

One of my favorite writers got put in FB jail and has changed his method of reaching folks through email.  The Blogess does that too.  Their followers receive their content without the internet police messing with you.  After my friend's heartfelt post about his mother's death was removed, his sister posted for him.  Why would you pick something like THAT to censor?  Anyway, that's just rude.  Maybe they are trying to piss users off so they'll stop using their "free" ad filled service to see somebody's dinner, but they always look really good. Especially when Pam Tinkle cooks for Dickey!  Y'all hang in there down at the VA ^j^

from the back burner

If you know, you know.  My mother was a fantastic cook and writer whose dream was to publish a cookbook containing many recipes from the Dyersburg Mirror paper where she worked.  Thanks to Joe Wood and Daddy, that dream came true and the proceeds went to the Dyer County Fair. And so, the legend was created in a back alley print shop.  

I have a hand crafted art piece made by Rachel Townsend that will grace the cover of the new book.  Mama herself xed  out a whole lot of dishes because really?  Who wants cooked possum or squirrel stew?  Well, I know there are some but not us.  Lauren and I discussed doing a podcast to boost interest in this publication.  Neither one of us know anything about podcasting but we can learn.  Also with AI.  

I  "noticed" that Trump is Time's person of the year.  I'm not really a fan of his but he is the one who had the most influence on our country this year.  Perhaps he will stop with the hating and do something nice for the USA.  I got my SS statement for the next year and I got a 40 buck raise what with Medicare going up.  And for this I went to college?  Sheesh.

I rolled pecans for a bit and got a lot of leaves and trash.  That means you have to sort and pitch on the steps before you fill the bag to sell.  They get really mad when those hulls jack up the cracker.  Not pretty.  

My friend Dickey is doing amazingly well following a whipple for pancreatic cancer.  His wifey Pam gave me some Amish bread starter which is due today for future things.  I'll have to dig out the instructions and bake accordingly.

If y'all are feeling generous I know a girl who is having a Christmas party for her clients and needs money for pizza.  PM me if you are interested.  And also, keep the faith ^j^ 

rude awakening

I went to the chicken store this morning to get some gas.  The pump I chose kept giving me error messages so I moved to another one.  When I got home I discovered that there was a 75 dollar charge for my 20 bucks worth of gas.  On my lerd!  I hopped my butt back into the car and drove back up there, but by the time I arrived it had been corrected.  This is the first time that has ever happened so I was quite confused.  Evidently it is a wide spread method used by convenience stores to verify you have money before you fuel up.  Lesson learned the hard way.

It's still cold and damp so pecans are out there getting eaten by squirrels and such.  A few days of sun should fix all that.  I desperately need the money from this crop to buy 'dat baby something for Christmas.  Not a lot, but something.  Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care but still no tree.  We may just do it the old fashioned way and put it up on Christmas Eve.  We ain't done yet with the cleaning and organizing but it's looking 100% better.  I just folded and separated some clothes that have been laying on a chair in my bedroom for a week.  Underneath is a pile of summer t shirts to hide away until next May.  The very LAST load of laundry from this adventure is now drying.  It's been a group effort for sure.  

I pray that my friend Dickey Tinkle survives and thrives following his surgery today.  Prayers up people!  Pancreatic cancer is serious stuff.  One of the possibilities post whipple is that you become diabetic because the insulin producing organ is missing.  That opens up a whole 'nother can of worms, but at least you are alive.  I have known and loved many a diabetic in my day and it's a challenge to deal with a coworker when the sugar hits bottom.  Some had pumps, others just ate what they wanted and tried to gauge the insulin.  That normally ended in head banging and whatnot.  Oone of my lab friends died a few months ago....brittle diabetic.  When her sister arrived at the house she found piles and piles of Little Debbie cakes.  You gotta' wanna'.

That manger is still on my mind Mary Beth.  I laughed when you thought you might help to carry it and by golly it was little!  It should be, because it's baby size.  Not at all like that cattle trough a few weeks ago.  You didn't think I was listening did ya'?  One of my favorite memories is of my late Daddy coming in for Christmas breakfast in his coveralls after birthing calves.  Sometimes there were chains and sometimes the cows just did their own thing.  It amazed me how they all stuck together and watched over each other.  There are coyotes out there that would totally eat a baby.  Ewwwww.

Here's my take on the Italian sounding guy.  Was it him?  DNA will tell..  Ghost guns?  You can't fix crazy plus smart and privileged.  Sounds to me like he has daddy and momma issues.  Oh, and grandpa.  I am not judging but I doubt seriously that Marconi of whatever his name is has EVER gone without appropriate medical care.  Rich people don't.  My career as a healthcare provider began in August of the year that I graduated from UT Memphis.  It was a typical core lab for what that meant at the time.  Some poor schmuch on call had to get up and save people.  We got your H and  H and how many units you need.  I have seen a lot of blood wasted because of no chain of command.  It must be stored under precise conditions and returned to the blood bank if not used.  Like right after the procedure.  

I remember when autologous donations became a thing, mostly due to ortho procedures.  It was a total pain in the butt and not really necessary because ummm...do you have a clue how much that costs?  Becaue you don't trust the donor population and the testing that is performed on every single component?  Puleeeeze.  After RFK takes over, you might need to worry.

I'm glad I got out of the rat race when I did.  At the time, I had no other choice.  My license was retired and I began to use my skills in other ways.  Most folks want somebody with medical experience to care for their loved ones.  There is so much that goes along with being in charge of another person.  I have never taken it lightly.  A family with the best interest of their loved one will do that.  

I have a resume.  Y'all know it by heart.  Spread the word ^j^

christmas present

Back in the day I was your usual Christmas consumer and shopped ( usually at the last minute ) for my entire family.  It was a pointless endeavor because they all had everything they needed and I went into debt.  I remember, as child and adult, going to two or more houses for gift opening which totally wears out kids and adults too.   It's like herding cats on Christmas day with children.  I miss that in a way but I also am glad to be able to spend one day with my close family expecting nothing but fellowship and the spirit of the season.  

I don't have the funds to do all that retail stuff right now and I'm okay with that.  It was mostly done out of obligation anyway, not about the manger at all.  This year that tiny little manger from the Christmas room at DFUMC is front and center.  My family nativity scene is set up on the coffee table.  Reaves calls it "the Jesus set" and has arranged it for several years now.  Lauren did it in her place for 2024.  Still no tree.  I'm okay with that too!

I had been hearing a lot about guitarist Billy Strings from my friends and never listened to his music until yesterday.  I'm ashamed to say that I waited so long!  His music is powerful and what I grew up on.  Side note:  He lived in Traverse City MI at one time which is where corporate lives.  I would have never heard of it otherwise.

The pecans are wet and I don't feel like layin' them all out on towels to dry so I will wait for the sun to do its' job. Thank goodness I found my roller under a pile of leaves.  I tried crawling on Saturday and it wasn't pretty!

Y'all be merry and bright ^j^

peace

Since it's the second Sunday of Advent, maybe we should all put aside our differences and concentrate on the gift that was Baby Jesus.  I believe that He died for my sins and that was a huge sacrifice.  I also believe that there is one true God who doesn't discriminate against the ones who believe otherwise. 

Currently on Pecan Lane, etc we have a heavy mist and it looks like a horror movie out there.  Damp and cold, y'all.  I attended FUMC of D'burg online today in my jammies.  Sleep came more quickly last night because I am using the old body to actually GET tired.  The cold air outside also helps me breathe.  I know I'm rambling.  That's what writers do when they're bored.  

I have to say that I have found quite a few writers over the years that I absolutely followed like a demon.  Clyde Edgerton was one.  His stories of rural southern life hit me in the heart.  Marti Ann introduced me to him at the book festival in Nashville many years ago.  I also met Larry Brown there who was drunk on his ass at the session.  He wrote a book called "Joe" which was pretty dark.  I think he died early.

Folks are dyin' left and right.  Daddy said it would be that way when you get old.  I miss he and Mama during the Christmas season because they loved it so.  It was always a huge production involving many extension cords.  This little red cabin was all dressed up every year!

It is not red anymore but the spirit is alive.  Y'all thank God for your blessings ^j^

dashing through the cold

Lauren and I are ride and phone sharing when she door dashes.  Her phone is not compatible with the app so she uses mine.  If you try to call me and get no answer, that's probably why.  It is a day to day survival strategy for us until she lands a job.  I filled up with gas at Lake Road Amoco and had the antifreeze and tires checked.  Cody said I'm good unless it gets to minus 30.  We will, however, need an oil change like soon.  Also faucets will be dripping tonight.  

My friends Pam and Dickey Tinkle gave me some Amish friendship bread starter which was delivered this morning without a hitch.  He was picking up groceries at Wallyworld so I parked and waited for him to come out of the store from buying antifreeze.  Me and Pam were texting back and forth and I cruised on over to spot number one for the handover.  He is facing a very serious surgery next week so y'all keep them in prayer.  The starter came to Pam from Therese Warmath who is also a long time friend of mine.  I love it when that happens!

The pecans are all just waiting to be picked up on a warm(er) day which looks like Saturday.  That should bring in a little extra income as well.   Gotta' do what you gotta' do.  They will also be Christmas presents!  In my opinion, that's what giving is all about.

Y'all stay warn and keep the faith ^j^

you need to.....

I was privileged to spend the day with family and friends of my late friend Lorna.  I know some of them better than others, but all of them through her pictures and life stories.  She loved her family more than life itself, and never gave up even when things looked bleak.  The celebration of her life was held at Ellington Hall which is a fantastic venue for all sorts of gatherings.  The assembly hall is next to the newly remodeled museum that was named after her grandfather RC Donaldson.  I have not been there since the days when we took kids to see the snakes and whatnot and I was pleasantly surprised to find a place packed with the history of Reelfoot Lake.  If you don't know the history of how that lake was formed, google it.  We spent a lot of time with the manager of the facility as she told about future plans and dreams for the state park located there.  Girl knows her stuff!  

After that we all met up again to break things down and head toward our respective homes.  That time was most precious to me.  I watched as her great grandchildren played and played as we  elders divided up flowers to take home.  I have two vases billed with fresh flowers to remind me of our friendship.  Because of my vision I was having trouble seeing the pictures but Ann pointed me out to myself when I rolled around on the collage. It was fascinating to see her as a younger woman, and a very beautiful one at that.  She led an exciting life and was a pioneer in the organic farming community along with her husband John.  

With Ann at the wheel the trip to Tiptonville went quickly and we noticed a bunch of solar panels in the works.  We wondered why so many people are against that.  She  brought me two pair of Doc Martin boots for Reaves that her g'daughter had outgrown which will tickle Lizzie to death.  One pair is red!

LP is dashing to earn us some money because neither of us has a job yet but, all things in time.  The holiday season is not a good time to be job hunting.  We still have no tree up.  I would settle for a Snoopy tree actually.  The whole "drag it down and put it up" thing sort of wears me out now.  A lot of my Christmas decor from last year is still laying around down here because I didn't want to climb the steps to put it up.  There is often method in my madness.  Lauren is an excellent organizer and has this place lookin' good after only 2 weeks.  For that, I am thankful.  What I need is more storage space but, no.  We will make do.  

Hug your people and tell them you love them.  Church hugs are nice but the full on one that lasts 20 seconds is the best.  According to my friend Gaylene, that releases the oxytocin.  Love y'all.....mean it ^j^

black friday

No, I didn't go shopping because I'm broke.  I did however go across the river with a friend who shall remain nameless to visit a business in Missouri.  I was in awe!  We stood in line with other customers in the cold wind waiting for the store to open up.  Twenty minutes over, thirty in the store, twenty minutes back.  Easy peasy.  There is a sink full of dirty dishes soaking in Dawn waiting to be washed and put in the dishwasher for yet another wash.  A whole lot of work for a 30 minute meal.  Just saying.  We have leftovers though so that's cool.  LP made her famous homemade mac and cheese to go with turkey, dressing, black eyed peas, cream cheese sweet corn and deviled eggs.  It was Bubba approved.'

It is now four days later....Cyber Monday.  Lauren has some kind of cold from hell ( hopefully not Covid again ) and it is cold AF.  I talked to propane guy today to explain the money situation and he is overwhelmed with calls.  LP has been door dashing and scheduling job interviews but we are flat broke.  Friends have helped us to get by,  I remember back in the day when it was a treat to put up the tree.  Now, it's a chore just to get to the attic to see if it's there!  The pecans are steady dropping and on the first 50 degree day I'll be out there rolling like a demon.  Bubba is bringing me a leaf blower because raking all those leaves is a chore.  

Gas is cheaper than I've seen it in awhile which is a blessing.  Eggs are still high but that's the fault of avian flu.  And so everybody and their mama is squawking about Hunter Biden's pardon.  Umm. Excuse me? I know two wrongs don't make a right but seriously.  That is so hypocritical.  Yes, Mr. President.  You should have, for the good of this country, stepped down long ago.  There were capable people to do the campaign if given enough notice.  I am a Dem, but very disappointed with the way the campaign went.  Six months is not enough time, period.  Today's rant is over.

So now that I have that out of my brain, I carry on.  Tomorrow is my friend Lorna's celebration of life.  Ann and I are going together to honor our girl.  Ms Rebas will more than likely be between Christmas and New Year's.  There are very few events that I get excited about these days, but the reveal party for SHE Magazine is one of them.  I did a handful of interviews and a bit of writing because my editor is quite understanding.  And also a superhuman!  The most important aspect of writing for that particular publication is that I get to meet new people and also find out more about the ones I already know.  Small business owners like Beebee Love and Casey Lou are always honored to be featured.  It takes women empowering women with their spirit and guts to give someone a reason to believe in themselves and their mission.  

Reaves drew a picture of her and Mama in pastels under a rainbow.  Art is her therapy, just like it has been her mothers.  If you want to make that kid happy, give her a canvas!  She tried to crochet and ended up with one long lasso before she gave up.  I don't think even I could crochet because I can't see.  Plus I don't sit still.

Let us pray I don't get the epizootie ^j^