poor pitiful me

I broke today y'all.  Like smooth down in a puddle of sobs and tears and I have no idea where it came from.  Well, I kinda' sorta' do but I digress.  I remember when I cried every day until Joyner put me on Prozac and after a week I noticed I went a day without a meltdown.  Then two.  He was the first practitioner to recognize the depression that goes along with hormones in peri-menopause.  That was also around the time that I finished up two years of therapy and was wide open emotionally.

Times change.  Being on an SRUI allowed me to tolerate more stress and not cry about it.  I soldiered on for 20 years after that until it was obvious I needed to "slow down" as Mama would say.  She retired in her early sixties like me and had the joy of helping to raise Lauren as MeMaw.  We still do some of those things with Reaves.  I thought about her as me and her namesake slid down the front steps on the ice and kept going in the yard.  She fell on me just right to get a good ride and my backside took the brunt.  

I don't feel sorry for myself really.  Just tired as hell.  I started the journey with a new doctor today to try and find out why.  I know just enough to ask the right questions.  

Peace ^j^